Guilt's Cost
by KSipesh
Summary: Written nearly 10 years before Advent Children, this story doesn't follow the now scripted FF7 universe. It was also written at a dark time in my life, is more of a horror tale and... Focuses on Vincent and Tifa. There's nothing more to say.
1. Solitude's End

Guilt's Cost: Part I

Solitude's End

By Kristen Willams

Vincent sat alone, perched atop a cliff. He strained his eyes, searching for the end of the desert but all that he could see was more sand. The sun had just surrendered below the horizon, and his crimson eyes reflected the colors there, almost making them glow. He rose slowly and went back to his campfire. Although it was still far too warm to need it, he knew that it would at least keep the animals away. Vincent hated the desert but not as much as he hated himself.

It had now been six years since the showdown with Sephiroth. Six years since the last time anyone had thought about Vincent Valentine, or so he believed. After the battle he had disappeared. Slipping away before the fame of being a hero could smother him. Recognition on a worldwide basis was not something that he thought he could have handled.

He tried not to think of the days when saving the world was his supposed mission, anymore than he tried to remember all that had happened to him at the hands of Shin Ra and Hojo. These two memories were now so hopelessly entwined though, that there was no escaping them. He longed to slip back into that sleep that had held him just shy of death for twenty-seven years. Although it had been riddled with nightmares, they paled in comparison to actual life in his body.

The Avalanche members had all speculated that he had gone back into hiding over his guilt over Lucrecia's fate, over his memories of Hojo's experiments. But that wasn't the truth. That wasn't even close. The truth was far more insidious than that. It was a truth that Vincent had never even admitted to himself. No one knew what was really on his mind. No one ever would. He was guilty, yes. The source of this guilt no man but he himself could ever know.

He sat before the fire, allowing his red cloak to fall from his shoulders. He pushed a few of his black tendrils of hair out of his face absent mindedly as he pushed at the embers of the fire with his cybernetic hand. The smoke stung at his eyes, giving him a good excuse to cry but he wiped away the tears quickly. Even alone he would not cry; it wasn't his nature.

Sephiroth. Probably the most recognized name on the planet and for all the wrong reasons. He had almost succeeded in destroying the world. That was Vincent's true guilt. No one knew it except for him. Sephiroth, perhaps the most vile being in the history of the world, was Vincent's fault. There would have been no Sephiroth if there had been no Vincent.

Vincent lay back on the ground to await sleep. He was oblivious to the pain of the rocks beneath him as he struggled to prevent his mind from reliving those memories again. It was futile though, and he closed his eyes and allowed his mind to win.

At once, he saw Lucrecia. It was the day she had told Vincent that she was pregnant. Vincent was happy at first, despite the fact that this news was coming from a married woman. A woman who was married to Hojo.

She smiled, and laid a hand on her flat stomach. "Vincent, I'm glad you could meet me tonight."

He looked nervously up and down the corridor, afraid that anyone might see him here with her. They had already taken too many risks. There had been too many stolen moments here in the darkened halls of the basement. Although he wouldn't have given up any of these few encounters with Lucrecia for the world, he knew that there could not be many more. "Lucrecia…"

Her eyes glinted. "Vincent, I'm pregnant."

His heart stopped. "Is it mine?"

"Yes." Her hand fell away from her stomach back to her side.

A rare smile graced Vincent's lips. "Are you certain?"

She flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Hojo has been trying to impregnate me for quite a long time, but it never worked. I found out that I was pregnant today. Four weeks along, to be exact."

Vincent closed his eyes for a second as a tingle ran through his body. Although he had been meeting her secretly down here for months now, it wasn't until four weeks ago that she had given into him. Had Vincent died that night nearly a month ago, he would have been happy. This memory was cut short as the specter of Lucrecia's husband surfaced. His smile vanished. "Have you told Hojo?"

She hung her head. "Yes."

"What did he say?" Vincent narrowed his brown eyes, not yet altered to their unnatural crimson.

"He's very excited." She would not look her lover in the eyes.

Vincent took a step forward. "What? Excited?"

"He thinks it's his." Her voice wavered.

Vincent found it hard to breathe. "You didn't tell him the truth?"

She brought her gaze back to his. "I love you Vincent but if Hojo knew the truth, you would be killed."

He turned his back to her. "I…understand."

She came up and placed her arms around his thin waist. "I'm sorry, but we can be the only ones to know the truth about this."

Vincent couldn't say anything. His heart was breaking.

"Hojo has…plans." Lucrecia whispered.

"What do you mean?" Vincent turned in her embrace.

"He wants to inject the baby with Jenova cells."

"No!" His eyes flashed. "I will _not_ allow it."

"It's not up to you." She let go of him. "I may not love him, but he _is_ my husband. It was wrong of me to come to you behind his back. By allowing him to use his precious Jenova cells on the baby, I feel I can at least atone for some of this."

Vincent knew that there was nothing he could do. He started to walk away but soon found himself running. He heard her call after him as he retreated but paid her no heed. To turn back would have been to allow her to see the tears streaking his face.

Vincent sat up, seeing that the fire had almost died. Fitting well with the memory in his mind.

From there the rest was a matter of public record. Lucrecia bore Sephiroth; Hojo never suspecting that Vincent was the real father. This was the truth that was his alone to bear. Had he never been with Lucrecia, there never would have been a Sephiroth. This thought echoed through his mind as it now had since his awakening.

Even with Sephiroth having attempted to destroy all that was, he had still been Vincent's son. How many times in battle Vincent had wanted to stop everything and tell at least Sephiroth the truth. Maybe it would have made a difference. Maybe not. He would never know.

Vincent had played a part in the killing of his own son, the only child he would ever have. The alterations Hojo had made to Vincent's body in his experiments had seen to that.

He lay back down again. He needed to sleep. Maybe tonight his mind wouldn't be full of the bad things from the past. Perhaps tonight he might dream of another female that had over the past several years, worked her way into his heart despite the fact that he hadn't seen her since the day Sephiroth had been defeated. Maybe tomorrow he would leave the desert and seek her out.

"Maybe Cid knows where Tifa is." Vincent said to no one as he closed his eyes.

_Tifa, _he allowed her name to linger on his tongue. Truth be told, when he had been with the Avalanche group she had not caught his attention. It wasn't due to him not having found her attractive, he had, but at the time, the pain in his heart was still too fresh for him to consider anything.

He remembered watching her as she looked at Cloud. She had been filled with the same desperate love for the ex-SOLDIER that Vincent had felt for his Lucrecia. Somewhere inside, Vincent knew that Tifa could understand him. She could understand his pain for a love that was never given any credit. He knew that she could take Lucrecia's place in his heart, and he could be the man for her that Cloud never really was.

------------------------- 

It had taken Vincent nearly a year to get to Rocket. Not simply because of the considerable distance that he had walked to get there, but also from the fact that he had almost talked himself out of going there on every leg of the journey. Having to go to Cid for _anything_ was hard for Vincent. He and the all too cocky pilot had never really gotten along. In fact, there had been far too many instances when they had almost been driven to kill one another. So maybe it wasn't his first choice of people to run into, but Cid was the only one he could think of who might have an answer.

Vincent put on an insincere smile when he saw that Cid had noticed him approaching. "Hello."

Cid mumbled something under his breath before stepping back from the engine he had been working on. "Vincent."

"Friendly as ever, I see." Vincent allowed his smile to fade; it wasn't working anyway. Painfully aware that Cid hadn't been particularly fond of him seven years ago when they had saved the world, Vincent momentarily forgot what had even driven him to Rocket to seek Cid out.

"Well, what in the hell do you want?" Cid picked up a rag to wipe the grease from his hands. "I know you didn't come here just to be cordial."

Vincent suddenly remembered why he had bothered. "I was wondering if you knew where Tifa ended up? I thought you might know, being as that everybody knew you would end up back here. I thought she might have written."

A quick smile of amusement flashed across Cid's face. "Oh _really_?"

Vincent narrowed his eyes and just stared. He would rip apart Cid to get this information if it came to that.

"Why's a hard ass like you worryin' about Tifa?" Cid tossed his dirty rag back onto the engine. He was not yet aware of the rage boiling just below Vincent's façade.

The left side of Vincent's mouth tugged up into an annoyed sneer, but this was hidden from Cid's view by the high collar of his cloak. "I need to know where she is. I must talk to her."

Cid put his hands on his hips and scoffed. "Right…"

"God damn it!" Vincent's cybernetic claw creaked as he extended his fingers, preparing to slash Cid. "Just tell me!"

The pilot's eyes widened briefly as he sensed exactly how serious Vincent was. Cid was secretly amused by this display of emotion. "All right, don't blow a gasket. I'll tell you."

Another whir was heard as Vincent's claw relaxed. "Thank you."

"You probably guessed, but she followed Cloud. And yeah, she did write a few times. Last I heard, they had settled in New Nibelheim together." Cid crossed his arms, awaiting Vincent's reaction.

"With Cloud..?" Vincent's heart dropped. That was the news he was most afraid to hear. "So are they..?"

Cid shrugged. "You didn't get one of the wedding invites, I take it?"

Vincent, still reeling from Cid's first remark, didn't even hear this second one. This was fortunate for Cid. "Oh…"

"Why do you even care?" Cid cocked his head.

Vincent diverted his gaze. Cid was seeing right into him and he didn't like it. "It's not that important."

Cid could see his discomfort and smiled again, although deep down he knew it was terribly inappropriate. "I'll be damned. You miss her, don't you? I didn't know there was room in your cold fuckin' heart for anyone other than Lucrecia."

Once more, Vincent's claw ached to strike. "Lucrecia is gone, I have come to accept that. I just wanted to see Tifa. I just wanted to know that she was happy."

"Oh." Cid was amazed to hear Vincent say something like that. "Well, like I said, New Nibelheim. I have to get back to work now, if you don't mind."

Vincent turned away, saying nothing else.

Cid looked at the retreating figure, and at once felt truly bad. He had been a jerk to Vincent and he really didn't deserve it. "Hey, Vince?"

He stopped walking and looked back over his shoulder. "What?"

"Go to New Nibelheim." Cid smiled weakly.

"But you said she was with Cloud." Vincent turned to face Cid again.

"Yeah, but I didn't say that she was happy." He dropped his gaze to the ground.

Vincent's eyes narrowed again. He was wondering what sort of a joke Cid was trying now. "What?"

"Her letters…they don't seem completely legit. They come off kinda insincere. I think something's wrong. Cloud ain't exactly…right." Cid was hoping that his interpretation of Tifa's letters was correct.

"I see." Vincent nodded, and then turned to leave again. "I'm going to see her."

Cid continued to watch him leave until he disappeared amongst the others on the street. "Who would've guessed?" he said to himself as he started to dismantle the engine once again.

-------------------------

Excerpt taken from Tifa's Diary

It's been seven years now, and I've just finally come to realize that things aren't going to get any better. I should have been able to see this from the beginning, but I was too blinded by my false hope, by my love for him.  
With our mission having come to an end, along with our usefulness, our small band of heroes disintegrated, and we all went our separate ways. Well, almost. I followed Cloud, determined to have things right between us, as they had almost once been; before he had met _her_. I am not saying that I didn't like Aeris, I did, but it killed me to see how truly perfect she and Cloud were for each other. My feelings no longer having a rightful place.

So I went with him, with Cloud always seeming somewhat indifferent to my accompaniment. I couldn't leave him alone, that was clear. Doing so would have just made it too easy for him to give up on life and I wasn't about to let him do that. I loved him, and he would just have to learn to deal with it, or so I thought.

We eventually settled down, outside of New Nibelheim, searching for any familiarity in a place that really was now completely alien. There we lived together for whatever it was worth. He went through the motions of being a good partner, always trying to hide from me the fact that he still loved Aeris, but it always showed. It killed me to wake up in the middle of the night, to see him sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. I never let him know that I laid there feigning sleep, watching him cry. That certainly would have killed him.  
I hoped that as time went by, he might begin to come around, but it never quite seemed to get better for him. Then one day a few weeks ago, Vincent blew into town. I was at the market, and looked up from my shopping to see him coming down the street. My heart raced a bit at seeing him-- I hadn't been around anyone familiar in far too long. He caught a glimpse of me, and even though he still kept himself cloaked, I knew that he was smiling.

He escorted me home, and I ran into the house, excited to tell Cloud that one of the few people in this world we could call a friend was here. Cloud was just sitting on the couch, and barely made any indication that he noticed that Vincent had followed me home.  
After dinner that night, Vincent decided that he wanted to take a walk. I asked Cloud if we could go with him but he said he was too tired, and that I should go. So I did. I could tell that Cloud was feeling worse than usual at that moment, but I still went ahead and went out with Vincent. It never crossed my mind that things were about to change. Everything was about to change.

Vincent and I went down the road together, talking about the past. He seemed more light of heart than he had been before, and I would be lying if I didn't say this was a dramatic improvement. Being the middle of summer, it was still hot despite the fact that nightfall had come. Vincent stopped, and allowed his cloak to fall from his shoulders. I stood in silence as he then proceeded to remove that strip of fabric from his hair. He smiled at me, I suppose that my expression probably was rather amusing.

"What is it?" he asked, allowing his smile to linger.

I was speechless.

He was gorgeous-- I'd never seen him before, well, _really_ seen him.

Vincent came closer to me and put his right arm around my shoulders. "I guess you were suspecting that I was some sort of a monster?"

Still, I was unable to respond. The thought had crossed my mind that he kept himself covered because he was disfigured. I wouldn't have put such a thing past Hojo. Such wasn't the case though, and now he was _touching_ me.

"Hojo messed with my body, but he at least had the decency to leave my face alone," he laughed.

"Oh..." That was all I could say.

His smile faded, and he looked me in the eye. "Tifa, it isn't coincidence that I came here. I found out a while back that you were here with Cloud." He shifted uncomfortably. "I wanted to see you again, to make sure that you're being taken care of right. I am going to be honest, and please don't get angry. I think Cloud is not the man you wish he was."

Vincent couldn't possibly know exactly how right he was. I think I surprised him when I nodded in agreement, feeling the burn of tears in my eyes. "No, he isn't. He hasn't ever been able to get past Aeris's death."

He dropped his gaze to the ground. "I knew he wouldn't. Tifa, will you come with me? You can't spend the rest of your life hoping for Cloud to change. It's been too long."

I turned away from him. I was going to accept his offer, but I also had to deal with the guilt of leaving Cloud. It was a rash decision, but I was dying there and knew that I had to take the chance. I didn't know if such an opportunity would come again. "Stay here. I'll be back in a few minutes."

I ran back to the house, knowing that I had to do this before I lost my nerve. I opened the door, and at once, I knew that something was wrong...horribly wrong. Climbing the stairs, I caught a rusty smell on the air, something I had smelled before during fights. It was the scent of blood.

Upon opening the door to the bedroom, I discovered the source of the metallic scent. Cloud was laying on the floor at the foot of the bed. He had run himself through with his sword. I knelt down beside him, putting my hands over my mouth.

He wasn't yet dead, and his eyes opened. Cloud looked at me, by now too far to feel pain. "I'm sorry..."

Those were his last words to me. 'I'm sorry'. Simple, to the point, and for the only time in seven years, completely honest. I stood, shaking slightly. Cloud was dead, and I was free. I hoped that he was now with Aeris in that other place, but how could I possibly know?

I walked back to the edge of town, finding Vincent exactly where I had left him.

"Is he going to be all right?" Vincent asked, assuming that my shaken air was due to leaving Cloud.

I didn't tell Vincent what I had just witnessed. He didn't need to know, but I answered his question honestly. "I think he is better now than he has been since she died."

Vincent took my hand, and we started away from Nibelheim, away from the illusion of the past being all right.


	2. Moving On

Guilt's Cost: Part II

Moving On

By Kristen Williams

Vincent waited anxiously at the edge of town. Always one to be filled with self-doubt, he was certain that Tifa wouldn't come back. Surly she had gone home to tell Cloud about his proposal, and they were back at the house having a good laugh over it.

As he continued to wait, he kicked at the dirt and smiled briefly. He was amazed at himself for at least having the fortitude to find Tifa and tell her of his feelings.

"That wasn't particularly Vincent like of me", he sighed to himself, somewhat amused.

Hearing someone approaching, he looked back over his shoulder. Tifa was coming, and at once Vincent was relived. When she was close enough, he saw the look on her face. She was ghost white, and shaking. Vincent hoped that he hadn't made a mistake by trying to take her from Cloud, but he supposed her current composure was to be expected after leaving her long time companion.

Filling with some sympathy for Cloud, he asked, "Is he going to be all right?"

She looked back in the direction of her house and shuddered slightly. Tifa was not going to tell Vincent that Cloud had killed himself. "I think… he is better now than he has been since Aeris died."

Vincent managed to produce a weak smile, and took Tifa's small hand into his gloved normal one. They started slowly away from town. Every so often, the ex-Turk would look back over his shoulder, expecting to see Cloud running after them with his sword drawn, but it didn't happen.

After walking for sometime, Vincent broke the silence. "I know you're tired, so we can stop at the inn up ahead for the night if you like."

She smiled up at him gratefully. "Yeah, I think that would be a good idea. I've kinda had a rough day."

"I'd say so." Vincent reached into a pocket to make sure that he had enough cash on him to do as he had proposed. There was more than enough as he had suspected, and they made their way into the hotel.

He walked up to the registration desk, with Tifa following a few paces behind. _Well, _she thought, _let's see exactly what Vincent has on his mind here. I hope he has the decency not to expect too much of me tonight…_

The innkeeper finally appeared. "May I help you?"

Vincent put his money on the counter. "Yes, one room, two double beds if you've got them."

Tifa was a little shocked when he turned to her, face flushed red. "Unless you'd rather have your own room?"

She shook her head. _Two beds or my own room? Oh my God, he's actually a gentleman? _"That's fine…"

"Good enough", the innkeeper picked up Vincent's money. "Here's your key, room twenty three."

Tifa followed Vincent up to their second floor room. Once there, Vincent opened the door and at once put his gloved hand over his nose and mouth. He turned back to face Tifa, a smile hidden behind his hand.

"What?" Tifa cocked her head, confused.

"Nothing, it's just that I hate the way these places always smell. So…closed up, you know." He allowed his hand to fall back to his side.

She reciprocated his smile. "Oh."

He turned on the lights, and went forward. As he had requested, there were two beds.

Vincent again turned to face Tifa. "Do you mind if I take the one closest to the door?"

She shrugged, in some amount of disbelief that he was _not _expecting to sleep with her. "Whatever."

Sitting heavily upon the bed he had chosen, Vincent sighed. "It's late, I think we should just turn in now, so we can get an early start tomorrow."

Tifa made her way to the other bed and sat as well. "Uh, where exactly are we going?"

Vincent flushed, but leaned forward so that his face was hidden under his hair. "Well, I'm not really sure, but I thought that I should go thank someone first."

"Who?" Tifa's curiosity was getting to her.

"Cid." Vincent flopped onto his back.

Tifa was confused. She knew that there had been no love lost between the pilot and Vincent upon their disbanding. "No offense, but why do you need to thank Cid? I thought you two hated each other."

He laughed. "I wouldn't say we hated each other, we merely had some, ideological differences. But he _is_ the one who told me where you were."

"Told you where I was? When did you manage to run into him to get that information?" Tifa lay on her side, facing her companion.

"I didn't exactly run into him… I went to Rocket to find him. I knew that he would be able to tell me where you were." Again, Vincent blushed, but this time there was no hiding it from her.

She was taken aback. At once, the depth of what Vincent felt for her was all too clear. Having Vincent seek out Cid to find her location was akin to any other man promising her the stars. "Really?"

He just lay there silent.

"God Vincent, you faced Cid for me? I'm impressed." She smiled.

Vincent seemed to grow uncomfortable. "Well, like I said, it's late. We really should get to sleep."

Tifa knew that there would be no more talk from Vincent tonight, and decided that it would be best to turn in. She unlaced her boots and slipped them off. She regretted momentarily the fact that she had forgotten to bring along any extra clothes with her. After climbing beneath the sheets, she slipped off her shorts and let them fall to the floor next to the bed. She was never able to sleep with anything more than her underwear and a shirt on.

Vincent rose briefly from his bed and flicked off the lights. Tifa watched in the darkness as he lay back down on his bed fully clothed. The only preparation he made before falling asleep was to remove his gun from its holster, check to see that it was loaded, and laid it down next to his right hand.

In her groggy state, Tifa spoke without thinking. "You're gonna sleep like that?"

"What?" he mumbled in response.

"You've got so much on."

He turned his head to look at her. "Don't worry about it."

It wasn't until that moment that Tifa noticed that his crimson eyes had the same faint glow to them that both Cloud and Sephiroth's had. "Oh, your eyes…"

He closed them at once, and turned his head away from her. "Please don't say anything about them."

She sat up, her tiredness melting away. "Why not? They are just like Cloud's were." She decidedly did not mention Sephiroth.

"They are horrible," Vincent sighed.

Tifa slid from her bed and knelt beside Vincent's. "No they are not. Look at me." She placed a hand beneath his chin.

He opened his eyes reluctantly. "Tifa…"

"No Vincent. It's all right. They aren't horrible, they are beautiful." She smiled at him.

"You said they are like Cloud's, you didn't bother to mention that they are also like Sephiroth's."

Tifa was stunned at his ability to see into her, but she made up for it. "Just because he was evil doesn't mean that his eyes weren't beautiful. That's probably why Cloud's were so wonderful, after all, he was Sephiroth's clone."

At once, the memory of the truth behind Sephiroth's parentage stung Vincent's heart. He needed to change the subject away from his dead son. "Why do you keep referring to Cloud in the past tense?"

Tifa moved backward to sit on her bed. She buried her face in her hands, and began to cry bitterly.

Vincent immediately felt awkward, not knowing what to do. He moved from his bed to hers, and sat next to her. "It's all right, Tifa…"

She looked up to him and shook her head. "No, it's not…"

Vincent was wracked with guilt from having taken her from someone she clearly loved. "I've made an awful mistake… I'll take you back in the morning."

Shaking her head, she replied, "No, I can't go back."

"Why?" Vincent wanted to put his arm around her, but held back from doing so.

"Cloud is dead," she managed between sobs.

"What?" His mind reeled. "How? We just left your house tonight, and he was fine then."

It was several more minutes before Tifa could talk again. "After I went back to tell him that I was going to leave with you… I found him upstairs, run through with his own sword. I had known that he was depressed for a long time, I just never figured that he would actually do anything like that."

Vincent sat in silent shock for a moment. "Why didn't you tell me that before? I knew something was wrong when you came back to me."

She shrugged weakly. "I didn't want to tell you, because I knew in a way that it was…this will sound cold, but…"

"Go on, Tifa, please," he gently urged her.

"That it was the only way for him to be happy." She wiped the tears from her eyes. "He can be with _her _now."

Vincent remembered when Lucrecia had turned away from him to go to Hojo. He knew that the pain Tifa felt now was similar. "I'm sorry, maybe if I had just stayed away this wouldn't have happened."

Tifa allowed anger to flare in her voice. "Don't you dare think that, Vincent. He would have done it either way. He had no knowledge of why you had come, and quite frankly, I don't think he cared. Besides, I would have continued to have lived with him, always miserable in the knowledge that he was unhappy."

At a loss for anything to say, Vincent finally gave in to his wish to touch her. Unfortunately, she sat to his left, and it was his cybernetic arm that he placed around her shoulders.

She looked at him and smiled, noticing that his eyes were now brighter than before, but she did not comment on it, knowing that it would upset him. Tears of mourning for Cloud still made their way down her cheeks, but somehow being in Vincent's embrace made it all right to cry. Tifa allowed her head to come to a rest against his chest, hearing his heart racing nervously inside.

Vincent tried to temper his shaking, but his anxiety over Tifa being so close was overwhelming. He brought his gloved hand up and placed it on her shoulder, and allowed his cheek to come to rest against her hair. He hadn't been this close to anyone in seven years, since the day he briefly embraced Tifa before leaving her and the others behind. It was at once both exquisite and terrifying. He doubted that she would let him this close if she had any idea of what his body was like beneath his clothing, or if she truly knew what he had done during his life, including the past seven years.

It wasn't long before he noticed that Tifa's sobbing had ceased. He opened his eyes to look down upon her, seeing that she was asleep. As gently as he could manage, he laid her back upon her bed and covered her with the sheets before making his way back to his own bed.

He lay back down, and out of habit, he again picked up his gun and made certain that it was loaded and in working order. As he placed it back down, he sighed at himself. He wondered why he had let his life get this desperately paranoid. Vincent was well aware that there were truly those out to get him, but why this need to sleep with a gun at his side when there was no one who knew where he was right now?

Yet it was the investigative abilities of those who were after him that worried him. He knew how very good they could be, at least, he knew how good they had been, when _he_ had been one of them. Now, they saw him as a traitor and a rival in the complicated world of assassins.

The Turks, who had disbanded seven years past, had reassembled again, under the new and equally corrupt president. Rufus had been horrid in his abuse and misuse of the Turks, and this new president, Harwin, was much worse. All the former Turks who had refused to rejoin the new service were to be eliminated, and Vincent was one of them, and one of the only ones left. He would never forget the day he happened past a newsstand five years ago, and saw the headline that proclaimed Elena had been sentenced to execution as an enemy of the state. Next to that same article was a list of names provided by the government as others 'wanted for questioning'. At the bottom of that alphabetical list was something that didn't surprise Vincent; his own name.

Now that list was shorter. Much shorter, and undoubtedly, Mr. Valentine was now wanted for much more than questioning. Whenever funds had begun to run low, Vincent took work in the only field he knew. The Turks certainly hadn't been thrilled with this lone mercenary taking some of the most lucrative hit contracts away from them.

Yes, Vincent knew that being an assassin wasn't a well looked upon career, but until recently, he had nothing or no one to lose. Maybe if his heart hadn't been so polluted with his own pain he would have felt something like guilt, or at the very least, a conscience, but that had not been the case. As it was, those who he had killed were most likely those who deserved it. He did research his targets to some extent, making sure that he could justify their death with more than just his occasional need for cash.

These thoughts haunted him, making sleep difficult. It wasn't just his life in danger, now. He had brought Tifa into it. Vincent closed his eyes and silently admonished himself. How could he do this? Had sleep not overtaken him at that moment, Vincent Valentine may very well have gotten up and quietly left town.

The following morning, Vincent awoke to the sound of running water. He opened his eyes, and could see in the reflection of the closet mirror that someone was moving in the shower. It took him a few seconds to come all the way to the surface of consciousness, and for a while, he remained perfectly still, staring into that mirror, trying to remember exactly where he was.

It wasn't long before the water stopped, and the door to the shower slid open. Vincent knew that he should close his eyes or turn away as Tifa emerged, but found it impossible to do so. He looked on as she towel dried her hair, and then began to get dressed. His view was somewhat distorted as the steam from the shower began to cloud the mirror.

Given just enough of a look at Tifa to get him aroused, Vincent suddenly became terribly embarrassed and sat up, turning to face the window.

Soon, Tifa stepped out of the bathroom to find Vincent still facing the window and looking somewhat shaken. She immediately went over to the window, curious as to what he was seeing.

"What's out there?" Tifa asked as she strained her eyes to see out through the morning fog.

Vincent shook himself out of his daze. "Uh, nothing. I just woke from a bad dream, that's all."

Tifa looked back at him with an expression of remorse. "You have no idea to how many times I've heard that said over the past seven years."

He managed a weak smile, Cloud's suicide still too close. "I'm sorry."

An awkward silence passed, before Vincent managed to come up with an idea. "Why don't you head on downstairs, and see if there is anything left of their free breakfast? I'll get ready and be down in a minute."

She nodded. "All right. You want me to get you anything while I'm there?"

He thought for a second. "If they've got any of those danish things with the cream cheese…"

Tifa laughed. "You certainly know how to start the day off healthy."

He just looked on as she walked past him and out of the room. With her finally at a safe distance, he striped to take a shower. Vincent allowed his clothes to remain where they had fallen on the floor, but took his gun with him. He set it on the back of the toilet tank within easy reach should he need it.

Relieved to find that not all of the hot water had been used, he allowed it to run warm enough to turn what was left of his pale skin red. He stood there with his eyes closed, forever too ashamed of what had been done to his body to look at it anymore than he had to.

When the water began to run cold, Vincent stepped out and dried. He then picked up his gun and went back out to get his clothes. As he dressed, he made his way over to the window to see what was going on outside.

He was just about to turn away when he noticed the man standing out front. Vincent squinted to make sure that he was seeing what he thought. There below, wrapped in a trench coat was someone who Vincent thought was dead. If it weren't for the silver streaks in his hair, he would have been certain that it was Tseng.

"Oh God, can it be?" Vincent whispered to himself as he hastily finished buttoning his shirt. "If it is, does it mean they've found me?"

Once completely dressed, Vincent flew out the door and down stairs. He ran past where Tifa was sitting in the lobby and through the door. Gasping to catch his breath, he looked both up and down the street. There was no one.

Tifa came up behind Vincent, startling him. "What was that all about?"

He turned to face her. "Did you see anyone this morning? Anyone who looked even slightly familiar?"

She handed him the requested danish wrapped in a napkin. "No, why? Who was it?"

He accepted his pastry. "You wouldn't believe it if I told you."

"Try me." She cocked her head.

Through his mouthful, he replied, "Tseng."

"Excuse me?"

He swallowed. "Tseng, you remember, right?"

Tifa laughed. "Oh Vincent, you know as well as I do that he's been dead for several years."

"I've found that a lot of people that were supposed to be dead aren't." He looked up and down the street again, reassuring himself that there was no one out besides them.

Not really sure what he meant by that, Tifa placed a hand on his shoulder. "Well, in any event, do you want some coffee?"

Although totally awake by now, Vincent still needed it. "Yes, then we'll go."

They sat in the lobby as Vincent worked on his coffee. It was taking a while as it was too hot to drink quickly, and a burnt tongue was the last thing he needed. The conversation had died, and Tifa was getting anxious.

"So Vincent, even if you did see Tseng, wouldn't he be getting a little old to be a problem?" she asked casually.

"He'd be fifty seven now," Vincent sighed.

"God, you sure came up with that number awfully fast." She smiled.

Vincent set his coffee down and leaned toward Tifa. "He and I were Turks together, if you will recall."

Tifa was a little taken aback by the flat coldness in his voice. "I…know, but…"

He again leaned back in his seat. "You _do_ know that the Turks got back together?"

She allowed a bit of anger to show through in her tone. Tifa did not appreciate how he was talking down to her. "Of course I knew that. That's the reason why I said I thought he would be getting a little too old for it. In other words, certainly he's too old to be a Turk if he is alive."

Vincent narrowed his eyes. "Too old? Tifa, he's seven years younger than me."

She averted her gaze, knowing now why he had become surly. "Sorry, you may be chronologically older than him, but your body is frozen at the age Hojo toyed… sorry, experimented on you. Even in these past seven years, I have to say, you haven't changed physically at all."

He knew that what she had said was true, and felt sorry for making her feel bad. "Well, even so, being a Turk is a position you take on for life. Sure, they don't traditionally send the senior members out into the field so much, but if one of them had say, a particular insight into whoever they were trailing, certainly they would be sent along."

Tifa watched as he subconsciously reached down and touched his gun. She was able to read him well enough to know what was going on. "So, why would they care what you're up to?"

His eyes widened in surprise. "You're good. As I said, being a Turk is a position you take for life. When they rebanded, they put a bounty out on all the former members who didn't rejoin. You should remember that I am a member of that esteemed group."

Still able to tell that there were several other details he was leaving out, Tifa let it go. "Oh, I see. Anyway, exactly how do you plan on us getting to Rocket? Certainly you don't expect us to walk, it would take months."

He smiled after finishing the last of his drink. "Well, aside from one boat ride, that's how I got here from there."

Tifa leaned toward him, brow furrowed. "Vincent, I am _not_ walking to Rocket. No way."

Vincent got up. "If you insist. How about airship? There is a port not too far."

She brought her hands together, delighted in the thought of flying again.

-------------------------

They departed late that afternoon from the nearby airport. This commercial passenger airship was definitely more luxurious than the Highwind had been, and they spent the entire day on the observation deck. This was the glass floored bottom deck of the ship, and they could look down at the world passing below them. Vincent wasn't particularly thrilled about being on this part of the ship as it made him a little dizzy, but Tifa had begged.

This flight would take well into the next day to complete, and after being served their dinner, they watched as the sun disappeared below the horizon before them. Most of the other passengers had retired to their sleeping quarters by now, and Vincent and Tifa found themselves alone.

They sat in the two forward most seats, getting the full view of the outside world. Tifa looked over at Vincent, seeing that he was almost in a trance as he stared forward. The light of the sunset gave his pale skin a certain glow, and she admired his beauty that she had failed to notice so long ago. She reached over and put her hand on his.

Instinctively, Vincent retracted from the touch, and turned toward Tifa. She at once withdrew her hand, a hurt look overtaking her face.

"I'm sorry," Vincent said quietly, "I was daydreaming."

She leaned back in her seat, folding her arms across her chest. "No, it's fine…"

Vincent's heart was stung at the thought of upsetting her. "No, I didn't mean to react like that. It's just that…"

She gave him a cold stare. "It's just that what? Vincent, I know you didn't come and get me just to have a platonic friend to spend the rest of your life with."

He swallowed hard, having to fight the tears of shame that wanted release. "You're right, that isn't what I wanted to get you for."

He looked ahead again, knowing that he wouldn't be able to go on if he saw her expression. "Uh… this is going to be very difficult for me, so please don't interrupt, all right?"

Tifa's look of anger instantly evaporated when she saw a tear fall down his cheek. "What is it, Vincent?"

He closed his eyes, allowing memories to return that had been hidden for a long time. "You all knew that Hojo used me for his experiments, and that this cybernetic arm is what I have to bear for it. But, that's not all he did to me. Oh God, this is going to be terrible…"

Tifa dared to reach out and touch his hand, and this time, he grasped it, bringing it up to his chest. Within, Tifa could feel his heart racing. "It's all right Vincent. You don't have to tell me anything if you're not ready."

He smiled, still not looking at her. "No, I need to be honest with you, otherwise, you might resent me for it later. Hojo tortured me in a lot of ways. There are things that he did that I have never even admitted to myself. But there are others signs on my body than this arm."

Tifa watched as he started to unbutton his shirt. Once undone, he took her hand and placed it against his chest.

She didn't feel what she expected to be there.

It didn't feel human at all.

Tifa slid from her seat and knelt on the floor before him. She pushed his shirt back over his shoulders, seeing what had been done.

His left arm, all the way to the shoulder was metal, but instead of the rest of his torso being human flesh, it was black and reptilian. A permanent reminder of the scaled demon that dwelt within him.

She allowed her hands to slide across its glossy smooth surface. Except for its warmth, his skin was very snake like, and in a way, beautiful.

Tifa looked up to his face, seeing that he was looking down at her. "Vincent, this isn't anything to be ashamed of."

A brief smile graced his lips, as a wave of gratitude for her acceptance passed, but it faded. "You haven't seen all of it yet." He rose from his seat. "Can we go to our room? I will need more privacy than this for what else I need to show you."

Tifa got up from the floor and took his hand as they made their way to the small sleeping cabin they had reserved.

Upon entering, Vincent had Tifa sit on the bed and he remained standing before her. "Tifa, close your eyes for a minute, all right?"

She gave into his request, and sat with her hands folded. "Okay, they're closed."

Vincent began to shed his clothing, allowing it to fall to the floor. Once everything was off, he bowed his head. "You can look now."

Slowly, Tifa opened her eyes. She saw his chest again, and scanned down. The reptilian skin abruptly stopped at his lower abdomen, and the same brassy metal that made up his left arm started again. He kept his hands folded discretely before him, keeping part of his cybernetic anatomy from view. Further down, his legs were not given the same armored covering as his arm. Their workings of hydraulics, servomotors, and wiring were exposed. They terminated into what didn't look much different from the armor-clad boots he always wore.

Having been able to hide any negative reaction from his first revelation, Tifa was unable to maintain her composure now. She rose from the bed, tears tracking her cheeks. She threw her arms around Vincent, eliciting a surprised gasp from him.

He reciprocated her embrace, putting his arms around her. Vincent, for the first time in years, let the tears come freely. "Hojo left hardly a thing of my body alone. He made me what I am out of jealousy and insanity. This is why I will never age. I am no longer human."

Tifa put her hands into his raven hair, turning his head so she could look him in the eye. "Vincent, you _are_ human." She wiped one of his tears away onto her finger, and held it before him. "These prove it."

"But, you didn't see…" Vincent blushed as he took a step back.

Tifa lowered her gaze, seeing what was exposed that he had hidden before. Where she could find beauty in one way or another with his visage, there was nothing humane about what she saw now.

Hojo's attempt to take away anything normal in Vincent's life had been complete. The male anatomy was still present, but very little of Vincent's original flesh was left. Looking as though somehow unfinished, tubing and mechanical workings were exposed.

Vincent's voice was almost inaudible, "It works, but I can't imagine…"

Tifa immediately knew what he meant. Any attempt at sex would be horribly painful and injurious. She couldn't believe the words that escaped her lips. "There are many ways, some of them still possible."

Vincent took another step back, and bent to retrieve his cloak from the floor. He then threw it around his shoulders and turned away from her. "No, I couldn't. I am too awful for you to want in any physical way."

Her voice was gentle. "Vincent, please, sit."

Obediently, he did as told, and took his seat upon the foot of the bed. He wrapped his cloak tightly around him, hiding himself away again.

Tifa again knelt before him, and took his human hand up. "Vincent, please give me more credit than that! If I couldn't love you just because your body happens to be different, then I would be one pathetically shallow person. Sex is fine, I'm not going to lie, but just because we couldn't do things in a conventional manner doesn't mean we couldn't do anything at all. I wouldn't want you for the reason of you having some superior male embodiment. I would want you because you're _Vincent Valentine._ I would be lying to you if I said that I didn't find you attractive just because of what happened to you in your past."

Vincent continued to sit shrouded, shaking from his nerves. "I am a monster on the inside, too. If you knew what I've done, you would never want to be near me again."

She tightened the grip on his hand. "Nothing, _nothing_ you did before you came and found me matters."

"Even if I told you I still worked as an assassin after Sephiroth was dead?" More tears came.

"No." Tifa ran a hand through his hair again. "You did what you knew how to do in order to survive. I can't hold that against you."

"And that before we all split up seven years ago, that I hurt Yuffie?" His shame deepened.

Tifa cocked her head. "What do you mean?"

He sighed; there was nothing more for him to lose. For the sake of his soul, he would confess everything to Tifa. "After we landed near her home, she kept harassing me for my materia. She already had everyone else's, and she was God damned determined to get mine as well. She told me that she would do anything for it, propositioning me…"

Tifa allowed him a moment before urging him on. "And?"

"She had no idea what I was. When she saw, she tried to back out, but I didn't let her." Vincent let his head fall forward.

Tifa was silent for a few seconds. It was hard for her to hear this. "But she did proposition you."

"I still had no right to trick her like that. She could hardly speak afterwards, there was so much blood running from her mouth…" Vincent's guilt was tangible.

Tifa placed her hand beneath his chin, making him face her. "That too, is in the past."

Vincent's eyes were dulled from his crying. "It is, but who's to say that I will never do anything like that again? What if I… what if I ever hurt you?"

She smiled faintly. "Somewhere inside, you know that you won't, otherwise you never would have come back for me in the first place. I trust you, I just wish you could trust yourself."

He blinked through the tears. The reality that Tifa truly could see him in a way that no one else could was sinking in. "You're not just sparing my feelings?"

"No, Vincent." Tifa wiped away the remainder of his tears. "I knew there was more to you than you let on, even seven years ago. Remember the time after you and Cid had that fight, and I helped fix you up?"

He closed his eyes as she traced the faint scar at his hairline from the laceration he had sustained then. "Yes."

"You opened up to me just a little then." She got up and sat next to him. "I felt so privileged that night. I knew it was really hard for you to allow anyone to help you, and the fact that you let me was wonderful."

"It was hard, but I could feel your sincerity that night. No one had talked to me like that in so long. It felt good that someone wanted to actually be around me, not out of duty, but out of friendship. That was something I hadn't had even before Hojo got hold of me." For the first time in several hours, Vincent produced a genuine smile.

"I never forgot that night. Even afterward, when you went back to being the same old Vincent, I still could see that side of you." She again placed her hand beneath his chin.

He closed his eyes as she pulled him forward, allowing their lips to meet. Vincent gave into it, placing his arms around her, letting his mouth linger on hers. His cloak fell from his shoulders, and he soon felt Tifa's hand upon his chest. Vincent reached backward, finding the light switch, casting them into darkness.

Tifa allowed her hand to slowly slide downward. Vincent was by now aroused, and flinched away as she got too close.

She pulled him close again, and whispered in his ear, "It's all right, Vincent."

Relaxing as best he could, he felt her hand again moving toward him.

Tifa grasped him gently; allowing him to grow accustomed to the sensation of her touch. He sighed when she kissed him again, quietly letting her know that he was giving into her. Not knowing what exactly he could feel with his altered anatomy, she was delicate with her touch. Having been aggressive at all would have meant a painful consequence for her fingers.

Not used to such contact, it wasn't long before Vincent felt control slipping away. He held his breath, forcing himself to remain silent. The only thing that Tifa heard at that moment was the sound of his cybernetic claw tearing into the comforter they were sitting on.

A few moments later, Vincent began to breathe again, panting quietly. For the first time in as long as he could remember, Vincent was filled with an inner peace. He smiled at Tifa in the darkness.

There was only one thing left for him to do now.

Something he never thought he would say again.

He kissed Tifa once more, and then pulled away. "Tifa?"

She rested her head against his shoulder. "Yes Vincent?"

"I love you." A tear again ran from his eye, but not one of sadness.

Tifa closed her eyes. _I still love Cloud, I care for you very much, but I still love Cloud. I know that once the pain of his death leaves me, I will love you too, but just as you needed these seven years to get over Lucrecia, I'm going to need some time, too. It won't be long though, really Cloud left me the day he met Aeris. I will love you, Vincent. At the very least, you are the most important person in the world to me. All the things that Cloud would never let me give him, I will give to you. I promise._

Vincent could almost hear her thoughts, and held her tightly. "I know I shouldn't have said that, and honestly, I never thought I would. But it's the truth, and if you can't say it now, that's fine. If you are never able to say it, I will understand. But I want you in my life, Tifa. Now that you are here, and know all that there is to know, I will never be able to let you go. I lost Lucrecia because I didn't let her know my feelings early enough, and I wasn't going to make that same mistake with you."

She kissed him. "Thank you Vincent. I will be here with you always. You will not lose me; I care too deeply for you. It is somewhat of a shock though, that after all this time, you would still think of me. It's odd for me that a man would care that much. Cloud could have cared less whether I had gone with him or not. This feels so good right now. Even though Cloud is dead, I feel somehow… relieved."

She moved from the bed and went into the small bathroom of their quarters. Once she was gone, Vincent turned the lights on, seeing that the comforter needed to be cast aside. There was still a heavy blanket on the small bed, more than enough to keep comfortable.

When Tifa emerged, Vincent looked over, seeing that she had shed all of her clothing for the night. His jaw dropped, and he turned away. "Uh…"

She made her way to him, turning the lights back off. Tifa sat next to him. "It's only fair that you see me, too."

To his surprise, he produced a small giggle. "Okay."

Tifa climbed into the bed and wrapped herself in the blanket. Vincent continued sitting not really certain what he was supposed to do.

Sensing his unrest, Tifa patted the pillow next to her. "Come on, lay down. You can't sleep sitting there."

"You don't want me to sleep on the floor?" Vincent regained his shyness.

"Vincent Valentine! I think we are past that, okay?" There was a false sternness to her voice. "You get over here and lay down!"

Slowly, he did as instructed. Soon, Tifa came up beside him, placing an arm around his waist. There was still an air of tension coming from him. "What is it?"

He spoke quietly, "Shouldn't I do something?"

She laughed, holding him tighter. "No, I'm fine. Just sleep."


	3. Reunion

Guilt's Cost: Part III

Reunion

By Kristen Williams

A slight jostle roused Vincent from his sleep. Disoriented, he sat up straining his eyes in the darkness. Spotting the light switch next to the bed, he flicked it on. Underneath the blankets next to him was Tifa, still sound asleep. 

He smiled as he looked upon her, remembering how kind she had been the night before. Vincent allowed his human hand to touch her hair briefly before he got up to dress. As he finished buttoning his shirt, Tifa opened her eyes.

"Good morning." She said lazily to him. "What time is it? It feels like I've slept forever."

Vincent cocked his head and closed his eyes for a second. "It's eleven thirty in the morning."

Tifa sat up. "How do you know?"

"The engines have stopped, and I felt the ship dock. We were due to arrive at eleven thirty, so assuming all went as planned…" He picked up his cloak from the foot of the bed and shook it out.

"That's my Vincent", she laughed as she rose from the bed, "always observant."

He watched after her as she retreated to the cabin's bathroom. He thought over the events of the night before, and a smile graced his lips. It had been the first time since his awakening that he had gone to bed without any thought given to Hojo or Lucrecia. 

He sat back on the bed and dug through the pockets of his cloak, finding his comb. After working his hair back into order, Vincent returned to feeling the interior pockets of his cloak until he found the red strip of fabric he kept his hair tied back out of his face with. Now looking again like himself, he stood back up just as Tifa emerged dressed.

She looked over at him standing there, wearing his typical emotionless expression. An odd smile overcame her face as she continued to stare at him.

Her gaze made him shift uncomfortably where he stood. "What?"

Tifa shook her head. "Nothing. It's just good to be with you again. I missed you an awful lot over the last seven years you know. Would it have killed you to have at least written once? Even stupid Reeve did while in hiding."

He was taken aback by her slight reprimand. "Uh, sorry."

Any vestige of her smile faded. "I was really worried about you! I even went into the remains of the damned Shinra mansion a dozen times to make sure that you hadn't climbed back into that box."

Somewhere deep inside, he was pleased to hear this level of concern from her. "I just felt awkward writing. But if I had bothered to write anyone, it would have been you."

"But you didn't!" She looked on the verge of tears. "With as down as you always were, I thought maybe…"

He went over and embraced her. "Tifa, I never would do that."

She allowed herself to cry. "Cloud did…"

He held her out at arm's length and looked her in the eye. "Yes, he did, but I wouldn't, and I didn't. I'm here, and I have no plans of leaving now that I have you."

She looked down at the floor. "Sorry…"

A hint of a smile came to his lips. "Don't be. It was inconsiderate of me not to check in with my friends over those seven years."

Tifa brought her gaze up to meet his. "You really considered us your friends?"

"Of course I did, Tifa. Sure, I may have had my own reasons to see the end of Hojo and his plans, but I never would have stayed with all of you if I didn't like any of you. I may have a hard time letting others know how I feel at times, but it doesn't mean that I don't feel at all. I wasn't fond of Yuffie or Cid, but I did enjoy everyone else's company, especially yours."

"Oh Vincent…" She clung tightly to him. "I missed you so much. I just can't believe this is happening now."

He closed his eyes as her hair brushed his cheek. "This does all seem strange, but I'm so happy to be with you now."

They were startled from their embrace as an announcement came over the intercom. "Attention passengers, we've reached Rocket Station, and at this time, we would like to thank you for flying with us. Please gather all your belongings and begin disembarking, thank you."

***

After leaving the station, they began to walk the short way to the center of town where Cid's house was. They went on, hand in hand, receiving odd looks from those in town. It wasn't long before they could see Cid working on what appeared to be the same engine in the same place that Vincent had seen him tending to a year ago.

Too engrossed in his work, Cid didn't notice them as they approached. Soon they were close enough to hear him cursing under his breath as he struggled with an unruly spark plug that refused to be removed.

Tifa couldn't contain herself any longer, and in her high-excited voice made their presence known. "Hi Cid!!"

Startled, he bolted upright slamming his head into the hood of the vehicle. The cigarette caught between his lips at once dropped, falling into the engine. A small flame immediately erupted, and Cid grabbed his large glass of iced tea from the fender and doused the flame. 

"What's the fucking idea sneaking up behind me like that? You better have a damned good reason thought up by the time I turn around, or I am going to kick your God damned ass." Cid yelled as he inspected the damage done by the brief fire.

"Sorry..." Tifa said under her breath.

"Look lady," Cid started as he turned to face his visitors. Upon seeing that it was Tifa his eyes widened, and when he saw that she was grasping Vincent's hand, they damned near fell out of his head. "What the Hell is this?!"

Tifa let go of Vincent's hand and threw her arms around Cid. He reciprocated her embrace, staring over her shoulder at Vincent.

"It's so good to see you!" Tifa said as she finally stepped back.

"Yeah, you too." Cid replied as he absent-mindedly retrieved another cigarette from his shirt pocket. "Where the Hell's Cloud?"

Tifa bowed her head and stepped back to Vincent's side. "Oh, well…"

Vincent knew she wouldn't be able to tell Cid and so did it for her. "He took his own life a few days back."

Ever tactful, Cid waved his hand at the two. "What? Did he catch you two going at it or what?"

Vincent narrowed his eyes, and placed his arm around Tifa, who was now crying. "No, you idiot. He'd been suffering depression all these years, and he just couldn't face living anymore."

At once, Cid felt awkward for his comment, and sorrowful at realizing Cloud was truly gone. "God, I'm sorry… Uh, so, should we go inside and have something to drink?"

Tifa smiled up at him though her tears. His initial statement had slipped right by her as she was accustomed the old pilot's social inadequacies. "That would be great."

Cid took them into his house and led them into the kitchen where they sat around the table. 

Cid leaned back in his chair and shouted in the direction of the laundry room. "Shera!!! Get your butt in here! We've got company for God's sakes!"

After a few moments, a heavily pregnant Shera waddled into the room. She smiled brightly at seeing Tifa and Vincent there. Tifa at once rose from her seat and went over and hugged her. After exchanging greetings, Shera went to the cabinet and retrieved some glasses from the cupboard. She placed them on the table along with a large pitcher of lemonade. Shera then went to leave the room.

"I'll be back in a few minutes." Shera waved as she walked out.

Tifa caught the glimmer of a ring on Shera's left hand. Once Shera was out of earshot, Tifa sat back down and leaned toward Cid. "Wow, she actually managed to get over you and get married? I can't believe it! When's her baby due?"

Cid keeled over forward and allowed his head to slam into the table's surface hard enough to rattle their drink glasses. "Oh dear Lord…"

"What?" Tifa feared the pilot was having a heart attack.

Cid straightened back up and rolled his eyes. "Hell no she didn't get over me. She's been pouting around this house ever since I got back. Every damn year she arranges a stupid birthday party for me. Eight months ago was the last such event. Being that it was my party and all, I did drink. Unfortunately, I drank way too much. When the party was over and everyone was gone, it was just me and her left. In my alcohol-induced stupor, she was able to convince me that she wasn't a cow. A couple of weeks later she told me she was pregnant. That just thrilled the fucking Hell out of me. Knowing that no one else in their right mind was going to ever take her off my hands, I did the honorable thing and married her."

Even Vincent was shocked. "I can't believe it…"

Tifa had her hands covering her mouth. "Oh my gosh! I knew you liked her all along!"

Cid crossed his arms over his chest. "You don't know nothing. I only married her 'cause that's my kid rolling around in her fat stomach."

Tifa smiled. "Sure Cid, you just keep telling yourself that."

Desperate to change the subject, Cid looked over at Vincent. "So Sunshine, you really went and found her, huh?"

Irritated by Cid's new pet name for him, Vincent frowned. "Yes I did, and that's the reason I came back here. I wanted to thank you for helping me find her."

"Come again?" Cid smiled. "Did you just thank me?"

"Yes, I did." He pushed his cloak off his shoulders. "You didn't have to tell me where she was, or that you thought I should go see her."

Cid raised his eyebrows. "Well, glad to help. So Tifa, what are you going to do now that Cloud is gone? I figure that there's something going on between you and Sunshine here."

Tifa smiled weakly. "Well, I don't really know what Vincent has in store for me yet."

Cid turned to Vincent. "Spill it."

Vincent was uncomfortable discussing this in Cid's presence. "I plan on doing whatever Tifa wants. Wherever she wants to go or do. To be honest, I didn't quite believe she would want to be with me, so I really hadn't planned that far in advance."

Cid leaned back in his seat and stared at the two of them in silence for several moments. He was having a hard time thinking of Tifa and Vincent together, after watching her pine after Cloud so desperately and listening to Vincent forever mourn Lucrecia. After a while of silent contemplation he stood up. "Well, I think this reunion deserves a little celebrating. Let's go."

Tifa and Vincent followed Cid at a short distance as he made his way out of the house and down the road. He looked back over his shoulder as they neared the entrance to the neighborhood bar. "Shera doesn't approve of this place, but I think this is a good enough excuse to celebrate."

Cid led them to a corner booth. Tifa snuggled next to Vincent and Cid sat opposite them. It wasn't long before the overweight barmaid came to them.

The pilot took the initiative to order for them. "Shot glasses, tequila, and nachos. Make sure there's plenty of jalepeños this time, none of those pussy nachos!"

She snorted as she took the order and then shoved her pencil behind her left ear. "I've warned you about talking to the staff like that before Mr. Highwind. Mind yourself," she mumbled as she walked away.

Cid pointed at the retreating barmaid. "Mind yourself, Harriet. And loose some weight for God's sakes. Health department's gonna cite this dive for having livestock inside."

Tifa and Vincent tensed as the waitress turned, expecting her to toss Cid out on his ear (which she seemed perfectly capable of doing). They were shocked when a broad smile crossed her face. "Good one, Cid. Take ya' all week ta' think o' that one I suppose."

Cid laughed back. "Sorry, babe. I wouldn't spend that much time on you."

Tifa let out a nervous laugh as the barmaid finally left. "I thought you were really in trouble there for a second."

He smiled. "No, Harriet's a good sport. Screwing with her is the only thing that makes coming here bearable." 

A short silence elapsed while they waited for their order. Harriet soon brought it, setting it down on the table winking at Cid before rushing off to tend to her other customers.

Cid filled their glasses and pulled the basket of nachos in front of him. He picked up his shot glass and held it out before him. "Uh, I feel a little weird doing this but here goes."

Vincent and Tifa took up their glasses as well.

Cid cleared his throat. "To Cloud… a great man who saved the world. We'll miss him."

After the toast was given, Tifa downed her shot in its entirety to ward off the tears that immediately stung her eyes. Cid also disposed of his in one fell swoop, but Vincent just took a sip.

"What's wrong Sunshine? Can't hold your alcohol as well as Tifa and I?" Cid stuffed a pile of chips into his mouth.

Vincent narrowed his eyes as he allowed a finger of his cybernetic hand to click on the glass. "Most likely I could drink you under the table. I just choose to pace myself."

"Right," Cid laughed, "I bet if you took down that shot you'd puke."

Taking Cid's dare, Vincent picked up the glass and swallowed its contents. He set the empty glass back on the table and stared Cid down. "There."

Cid filled both their glasses again. "One each. Shall we go for two?"

Vincent again took down his drink, unflinching.

Cid did the same.

And they did it a third time.

Then a fourth.

A fifth.

Tifa sat glancing back between the two men, waiting for one to give in. A sweat had already broken out across Cid's face, but Vincent sat seemingly unaffected.

They took a sixth shot each.

Then, as Vincent downed his seventh, Cid placed his glass back on the table still full. "Alright Sunshine, you win."

Vincent smiled faintly. The alcohol was beginning to enter his system, and he was fighting to maintain his stoic facade. He knew that he should excuse himself from the table and go to the bathroom and throw up, but he knew very well that Cid would be onto him in a second and there was no way he was going to give the pilot any such satisfaction.

Cid leaned back and placed his hands behind his head, enjoying the onset of inebriation. "So, what should we talk about?"

Tifa rested her elbows on the table, face flushed red from her one drink. "When is Shera due?"

Cid looked thoughtful for a minute. "Three weeks from today. The doctor said it's a boy."

"You must be very excited." Tifa beamed.

With the alcohol having taken the edge off his personality, Cid spoke honestly. "Yeah, its gonna be great. Have a little ankle biter around just like me. Can't wait until the little critter is old enough to learn to fly. Damn that will be cool."

Tifa smiled and then looked at Vincent. It was clear that the drinking was having an effect on him. A lazy smirk was on his lips, and there was the slightest hint of color in his cheeks. "You doing alright Vincent?"

He looked at her and cocked an eyebrow. "Yes, why?"

She just shrugged.

Cid leaned forward. "Vincent, how about telling us something about yourself, and I don't mean any of that whiney Lucrecia crap. Where you from and all that?"

Vincent hadn't been asked, nor had he discussed any such thing in as long as he could remember. He slumped in his seat. "I'm from Wutai, originally."

"No shit?" Cid looked surprised. "You're not slanty-eyed enough to be Wutain."

Vincent made out a circle with his finger on the table's surface. "That's because my father was native Wutain, but my mother was originally from Kalm."

Tifa looked at him, not having known this before. "So if your father was Wutain, how did you end up with a name like Vincent Valentine?"

"Well Tifa," Vincent put his arm around her. "My parents didn't name me that. Vincent Valentine was the name I was given when I joined the Turks. At the time, ethnic Wutains weren't particularly well looked upon by those in Shinra or Midgar, so they gave me a more 'acceptable' name."

Cid took another handful of nachos. "So then, what the Hell is your real name?"

Vincent reached for the bottle of tequila and poured himself another drink, which he downed before answering. In honesty, it took him that long to remember. "Tsuvatai Vatatsi."

"Come again?" Cid looked confused.

Vincent leaned forward, saying his name again, exaggerated by his drunkenness. "Tsu-va-tai-Va-ta-ts-ee."

Tifa nuzzled into his side. "Well I think it's lovely. What became of your parents?"

Vincent shrugged. "My mother died when I was four. My father remarried a Wutain woman two years later; shortly thereafter she became pregnant with my half brother. Both my father and stepmother were killed when I was fifteen in a fire."

"And your brother?" Tifa asked.

Vincent bowed his head. "He grew up in Wutai, while I was sent to live with an uncle in Midgar. Several years later, he came to Midgar as well, to follow in my footsteps."

"Follow in your footsteps?" Tifa was confused. "Who's your brother, Vincent?"

"Tseng."

Cid sat upright. "Fucking for real? Tseng was your brother?"

Vincent closed his eyes for a moment. "Tseng _is_ my brother."

"What do you mean 'is'?" Cid inquired. "We saw that son of a bitch die!"

Tifa answered for him. "Vincent saw him a few days ago, at least, he thinks he did."

Vincent slammed his human hand onto the table's surface, causing Tifa to jump. "I don't think I saw him, I _know_ I saw him. Plain as day, standing there on the street."

"Why didn't you ever volunteer this little gem of info earlier?" Cid furrowed his brow.

Vincent relaxed a little. "No one asked, and I didn't care."

"But he's your brother!" Tifa examined her companion.

Vincent looked agitated. "So what! Once he saw what was done to me by Shinra and Hojo and did nothing to help, I stopped caring. Obviously he wasn't concerned about my fate, and so why should I have given a rat's ass about his?"

Tifa was shocked. "But when we saw him there dying in the temple, you just walked by him without even batting an eye!"

"Just like he had done when he saw Hojo kill me again and again in his experiments." Vincent hid the tears that begged release as hard as he could. "For all purpose, my brother died back then, thirty some odd years ago."

Tifa and Cid sat in stunned silence, both from Vincent's revelation and his outburst of emotion. After a few tense moments, Vincent got up from the table and strolled quickly out of the bar. 

Tifa moved to follow him, but Cid reached out and grabbed her arm. "No, let him go."

"But Cid!" Tifa cried.

Cid smiled at her. "Vincent and I may not get along, but I have a little insight into him. Bet you anything he's out there walking down the street as fast as he can. You couldn't catch him if you wanted to. I think this is the first time he has dealt with this, and he's going to need a bit to put it into perspective. When he wants you to find him, you will."

Tifa sat back in her place, amazed at Cid's words. She wouldn't have expected such a comment from him in a million years. "You're probably right."

"Yeah, I've known his type before." Cid flipped through his chips. "Loners. Hate for anyone to have an opinion on their feelings, especially when they don't understand them themselves. Speaking of feelings, Tifa, how are you doing?"

She bowed her head. "Alright, I suppose."

Cid narrowed his eyes while listening. "Cloud hasn't been gone for very long, and here I see you clinging to Vince like the most natural thing in the world."

"I know." The guilt she felt over betraying Cloud in this way crushed in on her. "I still love Cloud, and I guess I always will, but the truth is that the Cloud that I originally fell in love with died a long time ago."

"I figured as much by the letters you wrote." Cid pulled out his cigarettes from his coat pocket. "If you don't mind my saying, they always seemed a little forced."

"Yes, I was still trying to convince myself that one day Cloud would come around, and that everything would be as I had hoped." Silent tears fell down her cheeks.

"But that never happened." Cid finished for her.

"No, it didn't." She picked up a napkin from the table and wiped her eyes.

After lighting up Cid continued. "So why Vincent? I know that he has some feelings for you, so I gathered when he came by a year ago, but are you really that attached to him already?"

Tifa appeared uncomfortable. "I am not in love with him if that's what you're asking. I'm not even close to ready to feel that way for anyone right now."

Cid leaned closer to her. "I feel real weird talking about this stuff, but if you're not in love with him, then what?"

Tifa shrugged. "I like Vincent very much, I always have. He has been comforting me since Cloud took his life. But truth be told, I was going to leave town with Vincent even before Cloud was dead."

"Really?" Cid seemed genuinely intrigued.

"Yes." Tifa began tearing small strips from the napkin. "Vincent made it safe for me to admit that I wasn't happy living with Cloud in his never ending depression. He knew what it felt like to love someone so intensely without them reciprocating your feelings. That's why I am with him. In a strange way, he and I are a lot alike, and I am very comfortable being around someone who understands me on that level."

"I see." Cid took another drag. "So then, has Vince let you know exactly how he feels for you?"

She smiled. "He said he loves me."

Cid's eyes went wide. "Our Vincent said that?"

"Yes," she looked up at Cid, seeing his disbelief, "he most certainly did."

"I'll be damned." He laughed. "I didn't know the old boy had it in him. I figured he might have just been looking to fulfill some fantasy about riding you."

Tifa threw the remains of her napkin at him, feigning disgust. "You're awful, you know that? You really are."

Cid moved to get up. "Come on, let's go back. I bet Vinny shows up sooner or later."

***

Vincent made his way through the streets as fast as his long strides would carry him. The town was winding down for the day, and he passed few others as he went on. The entire place had a feeling of calmness to it, not the same desperate rush as the big city. Vincent didn't like it, as it was easier to simply disappear when a place was too busy to notice you. The small homes lining the streets seemed to look down on him as he passed, curious as to whom this outsider really was. This wasn't something that Vincent was going to give them the satisfaction of knowing however. He passed each structure indifferently, rarely bothering to look up from the ground in front of him.

Soon he came to the edge of town, and found a small bridge where the road he was on made its way over an almost dry creek. Once he reached the center of the bridge he stopped, leaning over its edge as he attempted to catch his breath. Normally such a walk wouldn't have winded him, but having drank as much as he had on an empty stomach, he was feeling down right sick. As he leaned there a wave of nausea came over him and he spat down into the water as he tried to suppress the urge to vomit.

A slight sound behind Vincent at once drew his attention. Acting on instinct, his human hand retrieved his gun from his side and aimed it instantly as he turned. He found himself staring at the stranger's head, where his bullet would strike if he fired. Being intoxicated, it took a few seconds for him to recognize the intruder.

"Is that anyway to greet me?" Tseng asked, unflinching before Vincent's gun.

Vincent examined him in detail. Tseng's face was beginning to show his age, and his long hair now streamed back from his temples in silver streaks. Age had also taken its toll on him, as his body was beginning to take on the contours of an old man. "Why are you following me, Brother?"

Tseng took a step forward. "I have come to help you."

"Stay where you are." Vincent made no move to lower his weapon. "Why would you want to help me?"

"Because you are my brother." Tseng's voice was monotone.

Vincent frowned. "My brother? Then why didn't you help me when Hojo did this?" Vincent raised his cybernetic arm from his side.

Tseng downcast his eyes. "I was blinded by greed and power. Back then, and even seven years ago, Shinra could do no wrong in my eyes, even if it meant watching your torture and if needed, your death."

Vincent's gun wavered as he momentarily considered lowering it, but he didn't. "So what has changed now?"

"Several things." Tseng met Vincent's gaze. "Number one was watching Shinra destroy the planet. At first, I could have cared less, but it eventually began to get to me. Another was seeing that they saw that poor girl Aeris as nothing but a scientific asset. As we hunted her down, I began to understand how very special she was. She was the last of her kind! She was a treasure that this world desperately needed. She was capable of teaching us all things that we had forgotten long ago. She was wasted for nothing."

"So I'm to believe that the Last Ancient was able to touch something in your heart that your own brother couldn't?" Vincent's finger ached to pull the trigger.

"There's more to it then that." Tseng looked up at the sky. "Yes, I saw what Hojo was starting to do to you, but one day you just seemed to disappear from the lab. I didn't question the professor about it; no one ever dared question him about his work. All I could do was assume you died. I didn't even realize who you were until sometime after you had joined the Avalanche group. Once I did know who you were, I was both relieved to see you alive, and horrified to think of what Hojo had done."

"That's all very touching." Vincent reached back with his metallic hand for the bridge railing to steady himself. "Who scripted that out for you? I hope they were paid well."

Tseng furrowed his brow. "Aren't you going to ask how your dead brother is here talking to you?"

Vincent lowered his gun slightly. His rage against Tseng had blinded him from the obvious. "How are you here? I saw you die in the temple."

He nodded. "Yes, you did. And as to what exactly happened, I'm not sure. I had a dream I was being carried by Sephiroth, and when I woke up, I found myself in a home not far from where I had supposedly been killed. My wounds were healed, and the woman at the house said she had found me out in a field a few days before and that I had been sleeping ever since."

Vincent shook his head and smiled. "I'm supposed to believe that?"

Tseng took another step closer. "I didn't intend for that to convince you, but I think what I am about to say will. While having that dream about Sephiroth carrying me, I came to understand something."

Vincent's eyes narrowed. "What's that?"

Tseng's face lost all expression. "As I was in his arms staring up at him, I saw something I had never bothered to notice before. Vincent, you have a birthmark on your neck below your right ear, correct?"

Vincent nodded.

"As did Sephiroth." Tseng smiled. "I couldn't believe that it hadn't struck me in one way or another. The hair was a different color, as were the eyes, but you and Sephiroth are very much the same. Hojo wasn't his father, you were."

Vincent dropped his gun, something he had never done before. "You can't know that… There's no way you could know that…"

Tseng continued. "It was then that I realized that hadn't been a dream. He _had_ come and taken me from there, healing me and seeing to it that I was left somewhere I would be found. I remember how the Professor used to say that the Jenova cells in Sephiroth would make him very protective over other creatures with those cells, but there was a side effect to that. Not only was he destined to try to save Jenova, but also anyone genetically close to him. He probably never even knew why he was compelled to rescue me, he just felt he should. Think about it, did he ever directly attack you in a life threatening manner?"

Vincent thought back on all the battles. No matter when they were fighting, Sephiroth never seemed to have attacked him nearly as severely as the others. In his heart, Vincent knew the truth. "Dear God…"

"Tsuvatai, I know I failed you as a brother, but please understand that I am here now as a friend. After Shinra showed me that my life would be cast aside without any remorse, I forever vowed never to return to them. Fortunately since I was believed dead, I wasn't part of their hunt for ex-Turks."

Vincent collapsed to his knees upon hearing his real name. This was his brother, and Tseng had changed. "I… I believe you…"


	4. Shattered

Guilt's Cost IV  
  
By Kristen Gupton-Williams  
  
Tseng at once knelt beside Vincent and placed his arms around him. He went on quietly, "I am so sorry for what happened to you. I can't possibly understand what you went through in that lab and I never will, but had I the chance to go back and take your place, I would. I by far deserved that torture more than anyone else."  
  
Vincent's voice wavered in overwhelming emotion. "No, that pain is mine alone. I earned it for not saving Lucretia from her Hell. All the events of the last thirty years would have been different if I had done my job and protected the woman I loved."  
  
Tseng held his brother out at arm's length. "You truly did love her, didn't you?"  
  
Not able to bring his gaze up from the ground, he nodded. "Yes, I did. And all the pain that has come since then I deserved for abandoning her to Hojo."  
  
"That's not fair to you." Tseng brought Vincent back close again. "Just as I was unable to see the truth about things going on around me back then, so were you. There was no way for you to have known what was going to happen. Shin Ra had you blinded from reality; we all were."  
  
"I am guilty, even for all that you went through and what you became as a result. I knew damned well that if I became a Turk that you would, too. Although we were separated after our parents died, I knew you looked up to me. After Papa died, I had a responsibility to look out for you, and I failed." Vincent's hidden pain came rushing forth after three decades of repression. His long cold heart only recently warmed by Tifa's companionship agonizingly burned back to life.  
  
Tseng felt Vincent grow weak in his embrace. "No, don't blame yourself for anything! I made my own decisions in life, and so did Lucretia. Don't you dare take any guilt for me. You're going to have to move past all that in order to be ready for what is happening now."  
  
Vincent pushed himself back and shamefully wiped the tears away from his eyes. "What do you mean?"  
  
Tseng rose to his feet, then reaching down to help his unsteady brother up. "I have some information that you need to be made aware of."  
  
Vincent stooped over to reclaim his gun and reholstered it. "And that is?"  
  
"For the past several years, I have been a member of ASRIO, have you heard of it?" he asked.  
  
Vincent nodded. "Yeah, Anti Shin Ra Intelligence Operatives."  
  
"Correct." Tseng smiled. "Most of the members of our group are former Shin Ra employees."  
  
"You also happen to be guarding the last few former Turks who refused to rejoin and haven't yet been executed, right?" Vincent asked.  
  
"Very good." Tseng looked around them briefly. "All of them but you. It hasn't been easy tracking you down, for us or Shin Ra, hence why you're still alive."  
  
"I have tired to keep my whereabouts under wraps." Vincent allowed a bit a pride to show.  
  
"Yes, and I have been tracking you for some time. Everytime one of our spies would find out there was a hit contract out on someone by the Turks, I would immediately go to that location in hopes of finding you. We've long suspected that it was you stealing contracts away from the Turks, but by the time I got to the scene, you would have skipped town. By the descriptions I received over the years, I was certain it was you. The problem was Shin Ra also eventually figured out that it was you as well. You may not be aware of this, but Vincent Valentine has a one million gil reward out on his head." Tseng's voice reflected concern.  
  
"I'm flattered to find out that I am so valuable to someone." Vincent feigned a smile.  
  
"The problem is this, they are closing in on you. You've cost them over seventeen million gil in contracts, and they are going to take you out for it. Our spies tell me that they are very close to finding you. The only reason that I found you first is that I have a little more insight into how you operate." He kicked at the ground.  
  
"How did they find me?" Vincent asked.  
  
"Shin Ra has people everywhere, and they knew that you came through Rocket a year ago. You were seen talking with Cid, presumably to confirm the whereabouts of your fellow Avalanche members. Knowing that Cloud and Tifa were in New Niblehim, all they had to do was to keep a lookout for you to show up there. They didn't figure that it would take you so long to arrive, and eventually their assassination team left, but they did keep a operative in town, to see if you did ever show up." Tseng looked into his brother's eyes.  
  
"And I did." Vincent was impressed. "And I was seen."  
  
"Yes, but fortunately, I found you first." Tseng smiled again. "It won't be that hard for you to disappear again if you act quickly. The operative that has been tailing you is still alone; the assassination team hasn't shown up yet. I can distract her, allowing you to escape again."  
  
"Why hasn't the operative just killed me herself? Certainly I have left myself open to attack plenty of times today alone." Vincent was intrigued.  
  
Tseng took a step closer. "Because the operative doesn't know she's an operative."  
  
Vincent's heart sank. "Please don't say what I think you're going to!"  
  
Tseng felt the pain in his brother. "I'm sorry, but it is Tifa."  
  
Vincent's eyes burned again with tears. "How?"  
  
"It's complicated." Tseng knew he was treading on delicate ground. "When the assassination team had to leave New Niblehim six months ago, they had already planned their means of lookout in a manner that no one would ever be suspicious of. Before leaving, they went into her home and added a contaminant to her cosmetics, something that would cause her to miscarry the baby she was five months pregnant with."  
  
Vincent covered his mouth both in disgust at what Shin Ra had done, but also at the sudden knowledge that Tifa would have had Cloud's child. "No."  
  
Tseng went on. "The next day she was taken to the hospital violently ill, of course all of the normal medical staff had already been replaced with Shin Ra agents. She had to be rushed into emergency surgery to remove the dead fetus from within her. At the same time, a tracking device was placed in her body that allowed Shin Ra to not only know where she was, but to hear everything that she did or said. From there on out, all they had to do was sit back at their headquarters and listen until you showed up."  
  
Vincent narrowed his eyes as his intense hatred for Shin Ra flared. "I don't care if it will cost me my life, I'm not leaving her. You know as well as I do that the second I'm dead that they will kill her too."  
  
"In all likelihood, yes." Tseng replied. "But if they don't catch you, they won't harm her in hopes of you showing back up. They already know you love her, they heard you say it yourself."  
  
Vincent looked at Tseng vexedly. "Your spies told you that?"  
  
Tseng hung his head. "No. We have a replica of the receiver for her transmitter. I heard you talking to her on the airship."  
  
Ashamed that his brother had heard all that had gone on the night before, Vincent turned away. His mind swam as he tried to figure out what to do, but his own feelings for Tifa made coherent thought impossible. "I can't be without her. but I knew that finding her would turn out wrong. I end up ruining everything I love. Can you protect her?"  
  
Tseng cocked his head in confusion. "We could hide her until we figured out how to disable the transmitter without harming her but it will take a while. They implanted it into her spine."  
  
"Then do it." With that, Vincent took a few steps back from his brother and pulled his gun from his holster. He placed the muzzle against his right temple and pulled the trigger. 


	5. Realization

Guilt's Cost: Part V  
  
By Kristen Williams  
  
The only sound heard was the faint click of the gun misfiring, and Tseng's horrified gasp at his brother's attempted suicide.  
  
Never in all his years of careful handling had one of Vincent's weapon's failed, but the jar of having been dropped just a few moments before had caused the one small malfunction that had saved his life.  
  
Not wishing to give Vincent another opportunity to try to kill himself, Tseng rushed forward and knocked Vincent to the ground, casting his gun into the riverbed below the bridge. Vincent dazed from both shock and alcohol lay on the ground blinking up at the sky.  
  
Tseng outraged and frightened pulled Vincent up to his knees by his collar. "What the hell was that? You selfish son of a bitch!"  
  
Vincent's only reply was a weak smirk he gave before passing out.  
  
"Oh jeez, not now." Tseng tried to shake his brother back to consciousness, but it failed. "Shit.get up!"  
  
Tseng heard a noise behind him and looked over his shoulder. Tifa and Cid were coming up behind him. All they had seen was Tseng charge Vincent and knock him down, which made them think he was out to hurt their friend, not help. Wishing to avoid a confrontation, Tseng let Vincent fall from his grip and immediately took off into the night.  
  
Tifa at once went to Vincent's side, while Cid attempted to pursue the suspect, but years of smoking had taken their toll, and Tseng soon outran him.  
  
Cid returned to where Vincent lay. Tifa was cradling the unconscious man in her arms, tears in her eyes.  
  
"Is he alright?" Cid knelt down beside Tifa.  
  
"I don't know." Tifa cried. "Vincent? Come on."  
  
Vincent scraped the surface of lucidity momentarily and opened his eyes. "Lucretia?"  
  
"No, Vince, it's me." Tifa's frustration was tangible.  
  
Vincent passed out again.  
  
Cid looked around. "I think we better get back home before whoever that was comes to finish the job."  
  
With that, he picked up Vincent's limp body in his arms and they made their way home.  
  
As they walked, Tifa kept fretting over Vincent. "Cid, he's gonna be okay, right?"  
  
He smiled at her through his exhaustion. "Come on, woman. We've seen this bastard take a lot worse hits than that. I think it's his attempt to out drink me that did this."  
  
"Yeah, I just can't stand the thought of losing him, not now." She walked a little closer to Cid. "Do you think that was Tseng?"  
  
Cid attempted to shrug, but his burden hindered the action. "Well Hell, I don't know. Could have been I guess, looked like him as far as I remember."  
  
They got to the house, and Cid took Vincent to the spare bedroom and laid him on the bed. "Alright Tifa, I'm leaving him in your hands. That bastard is heavier than he looks, and I'm wiped."  
  
Tifa watched as Cid retreated and closed the door behind him leaving her and Vincent in peace. She sat down on the edge of the bed next to her companion. After a few moments, his eyes opened. "Tifa?"  
  
She smiled from relief. "Oh thank God, I've been so worried!"  
  
He placed his human hand against his head. "How bad is it?"  
  
"What?" She asked.  
  
"Where I shot myself.I can't believe I missed that badly.I'm still nauseous and my head hurts." He said; only half-aware of what was going on.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Tifa frowned. "Your head's fine, other than the hangover your probably coming down with."  
  
At once, his memory came back completely, including the misfire. "My gun.failed?"  
  
Tifa stood up, suddenly understanding what had happened. "Vincent! You tried to kill yourself?"  
  
He rolled over in embarrassment and disappointment at having failed.  
  
In immediate anger, she kicked him in the back, throwing him from the bed. "YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER DO THAT! CLOUD JUST KILLED HIMSELF AND NOW YOU TRY? HOW DARE YOU!"  
  
He gathered himself from the floor, steadying himself against the wall. "Tifa, you don't understand."  
  
Her anger wasn't receding. "Understand what? That you're a fucking liar? That you are going to leave me just like Cloud?"  
  
Still emotional from his talk with Tseng, tears soon came to his eyes. "No, I wanted to protect you. Shin Ra is out to get me, and I didn't want to put you in further danger. I didn't want them to be able to use you anymore. If you had any idea of what they did to you in order to try to catch me, you would have shot me yourself."  
  
Her voice dropped. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"You've been implanted with a bug that has allowed them to find me." Vincent sat heavily on the bed.  
  
"How?"  
  
"They killed your baby, and then had you implanted during surgery." Vincent buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry."  
  
Tifa went and sat next to him. "How do you know that?"  
  
"Tseng told me. Then I decided that the only way to protect you was to kill myself, and then have Tseng and ASRIO hide you until they figured out how to remove the implant." Vincent sighed. "As long as you are near me, they will hear everything I tell you."  
  
Tifa placed her hands over her flat stomach and began to cry, remembering the pain she felt at the loss of her child. "Why? My baby was killed by Shin Ra?"  
  
Vincent could see Tifa coming unraveled before his eyes, and he moved closer to her and placed his human arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry. If I had known this was all going to happen if I came out of hiding to find you, I would have stayed away."  
  
She smiled faintly at him. "Vincent, it's not your fault. You couldn't have known."  
  
He couldn't say anything else, and just sat holding her.  
  
Several hours later, they had both fallen asleep on the bed. Tifa awoke in the middle of the night. She had the presence of mind to realize that Vincent was going to wake up sick and thirsty in the morning, and so got up to go to the kitchen. While getting a glass of water to take back to Vincent, she heard something just outside the back door. Pulling the robe that she had found in the guestroom around her, she stepped out into the cool night air, curious as to what was stirring at this hour.  
  
She looked around in the darkness, hearing someone crying. Making her way around the corner of the house, she spotted Shera sitting on the garden bench, with a hastily packed suitcase lying at her feet.  
  
Tifa rushed to her side and sat down. "Shera, what's wrong?"  
  
She brought her tear filled eyes up to meet Tifa's. "I want to leave, but I don't know where to go."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Tifa placed her arm around Shera.  
  
"I heard Cid talking to you and Vincent this afternoon. I know that he badmouths me around town, he always has, but you guys are his friends and I thought that if he really cared about me he wouldn't say things like that to you." Her tears started anew.  
  
"He does care about you, Shera." Tifa leaned closer. "Cid's an ass, I'll give you that, and I don't know how or why you've been with him this long. But he does love you, I can see that even if he isn't saying very nice things about you. Heck, you should have seen the way he was talking about that baby you're carrying when we were at the bar."  
  
"Really?" Shera let a faint smile cross her face.  
  
"Yes." Tifa returned the grin. "Tell me this, has he even mentioned another woman around you?"  
  
Shera thought for a minute. "No, he hasn't."  
  
"Well, don't you think that if he wasn't in love with you that a good looking guy like him would have found another girl in all this time?" Tifa asked.  
  
"I never really thought of that." She replied.  
  
"If you left now, it would kill him." Tifa looked up at the stars. "After being gone with us for several months while we fought Sephiroth, you know what he said when we were done?"  
  
"No."  
  
Tifa laughed. "That bastard said, 'Well, I better get back home. I'm sure Shera's worried.' From most people that wouldn't have meant much, but from him that was pretty Earth moving. He was more worried about you than he thought you were for him."  
  
"It just would be nice to hear him say something nice to me every once in a while." Shera looked back down at the ground.  
  
"I know, but men are idiots. What they feel and what they say are usually not related. Another thing, do you think he would have slept with you or married you after you were pregnant if he didn't care? I don't think he would have, that isn't his style."  
  
They both fell silent when they heard the back door to the house fly open.  
  
"Shera?!" Cid called out as he looked for his missing wife. He stumbled around the corner spotting Shera and Tifa in the garden. "God damn, woman! I wake up in the middle of the night with you missing and I think you've gone off to calve prematurely or something. I swear you-"  
  
His words stopped short when he spotted the suitcase on the ground, and the tears in Shera's eyes. "What's going on?"  
  
Tifa got up and made her way to Cid. "Shera is really upset. She overheard what you said to us this afternoon and she's feeling really bed. I caught her out here, ready to leave. She doesn't think you love her."  
  
Cid rolled his eyes and pushed past Tifa. He sat heavily next to Shera, and at once began to talk to her. Tifa knew they needed to be alone and went back in. She retrieved the glass of water for Vincent and returned to their room. She sat on the edge of the bed, realizing that the bench Cid and Shera were sitting on was right outside the window to the room.  
  
".Shera, please don't go." Cid's voice wavered. "I don't know what I'd do without you here."  
  
"But you never act like you care at all." Shera was clearly crying again.  
  
"Oh, Shera. I wouldn't have come back here seven years ago if I didn't." Cid's voice grew quieter. "I love you, I always have."  
  
Tifa had to cover her mouth to suppress her squeal of delight. She turned around when the bed jostled behind her.  
  
"Was that Cid that just said that?" Vincent asked, still half asleep.  
  
"Yeah." Tifa whispered.  
  
"Oh." Vincent sat up. "What time is it?"  
  
"Tifa looked at the clock on the night stand. "Two thirty."  
  
Not wishing to spend the entire night in his clothes, Vincent unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off.  
  
Tifa just sat and watched as he striped quietly in front of her, without any of the trepidation he had displayed the night before. Soon, he climbed back in bed and pulled the sheets over.  
  
A few moments later, Tifa hung her robe back up and also returned to bed. She slid over to Vincent and draped her arm across his chest. He looked over at her lazily and smiled.  
  
"I'm really sorry about tonight." He whispered to her. "And about what you've been through because of me."  
  
"It's alright." Tifa replied. "But what should we do if they can track you by following me?"  
  
Vincent stared back up at the ceiling. "We should split up, at least until Tseng and his men find a way to get that bug out of you, or deactivate it somehow-"  
  
Vincent suddenly sat up straight in bed, looking horrified. "Oh God, I've let them know about Tseng being alive."  
  
Tifa propped herself up on her elbows. "We didn't let them know anything they probably didn't suspect."  
  
Vincent fell back to the pillow. "You're probably right. Their intelligence certainly knew that for awhile. Shin Ra probably never announced a manhunt for him in order to save face, since they had declared him dead long ago. Just don't let me talk about anything else."  
  
"Okay." Tifa agreed. "But you really think we should go our separate ways until they find a way to disable my implant?"  
  
"It will protect us both. If we're not together, Shin Ra will leave you alone, knowing that I'll be with you again at some point. And they won't be able to track me in the meanwhile." Vincent sighed.  
  
Tears came to Tifa's eyes and she turned away from him. "If you think it's best.but I don't want to go."  
  
Vincent rolled over, placing him cybernetic arm around her waist pulling her close. "I don't want to be without you, but I don't see any other way to keep us from being found."  
  
"No, I won't go." Tifa grew angry. "God Damn it, Shin Ra has taken everything from me, but they aren't going to get you! As long as we keep moving, they can't catch us, and you are more than a match for anyone they could send to find you."  
  
"Look, I'm not going to force you to go, it would kill me to be alone again, but I'm worried about you're safety." Vincent kissed her cheek.  
  
"I can take care of myself, and I can take care of you." Tifa was determined. "There is no way they are getting between us. I have nothing left to lose but you, and that isn't going to happen."  
  
"Then tomorrow we'll leave." Vincent smiled to himself to hear Tifa's demand to stay with him. "I just hope I get a chance to talk to Tseng again. I have a feeling there is something else important he isn't telling me. He was never very good at keeping secrets from his big brother."  
  
"Hey, Vincent?" Tifa asked.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Would you think it horrible of me if I said I was falling in love with you even though Cloud has only been dead for a few days?" She whispered.  
  
Vincent was taken aback by this question. "No, I wouldn't. It's not like we just met for the first time. We have known each other for awhile."  
  
"Then I can say-" She found her words cut short when one of his gold clawed fingers was pressed to her lips.  
  
"Tifa, don't say it if you're not ready or sure." His tone was flat. "It would kill me if you said it now, only to realize that you didn't mean it later."  
  
She reached up and pulled his talons away from her mouth. "I know how fragile you are inside, and I wouldn't toy around with something like this. It isn't out of desperation, and it isn't out of fear of being alone. I do love you Vincent, and after all that has happened today, I know it's true."  
  
A smile came to Vincent's lips, and he leaned over and kissed her. 


	6. Brotherhood

Guilt's Cost Part VI  
  
By Kristen Gupton-Williams  
  
  
  
The next morning found Shera, Cid, Tifa, and Vincent around the kitchen table. In what amounted to their first display of public affection, Cid was covering Shera's hand with his own on the table's surface. They had just finished a sizable breakfast, and sat discussing some events of the past several years when a knock came to the door.  
  
Vincent at once bristled instinctively, and reached to his side for his gun, which wasn't there as it was still lying in the creek bed below the bridge. Cid huffed and got up to go see who had the audacity to come calling this early in the morning.  
  
He swung open the back door to the kitchen, and before anyone could see who it was, Cid yelled and swung with his right fist, knocking his visitor to the ground. Vincent flew up and ran to see whom Cid had just hit for fear that Shin Ra had found them.  
  
Cid stood smiling to himself shaking the sting from the impact out of his hand. Vincent pushed him aside, discovering Tseng laying dazed in the dirt.  
  
"Trying to finish what you started last night, huh?" Cid said proudly to his downed victim.  
  
Vincent flared and looked back at Cid as he knelt next to his brother. "God Damn it, Cid! He's here to help me! You really should learn to ask someone's intentions before decking them!"  
  
Cid's pride crumbled as he realized his error. "I'm sorry..but last night we saw him attack you!"  
  
Tseng sat up, wiping the small trickle of blood from his nose. "No, I was knocking the gun out of his hand before he did something stupid."  
  
Cid offered Tseng his hand, and the man rose, brushing the dirt from his black suit. "Sorry."  
  
Tseng smiled weakly as he got himself back in order. "I understand. It's good to know that so many people are interested in Vincent's protection."  
  
Vincent led his brother to the table and sat next to him. Cid retook his place next to Shera. Tseng took up a napkin to continue blotting the blood from his face.  
  
Vincent was obviously embarrassed at Cid's actions. "Are you alright, Tseng?"  
  
He eventually tossed the bloody rag to the table and sat back. "Yes, nothing's broken, I think." He looked shyly over at Tifa. "Ma'am, I don't wish to be rude, but in light of your implant, I would request that you leave the room for a moment."  
  
Tifa nodded in agreement, and left the table. She looked back over her shoulder at Vincent and Tseng sitting side by side, admiring how much they really did look alike.  
  
Cid leaned forward confused. "What the Hell was that? Tifa's got a bug?"  
  
Tseng smiled, realizing that his brother hadn't told his friends anything of the night before. "Yes, Shin Ra has been spying on Vincent through her."  
  
Cid seemed to accept this in stride and crossed his arms over his chest. Shera got up to go keep Tifa company, knowing that there would be nothing in the coming conversation to concern her.  
  
The three men were now left alone. Cid was the first to speak. "You're not with Shin Ra anymore, I take it."  
  
"Correct." Tseng replied. "I am with ASRIO now."  
  
Cid narrowed his eyes. "I'm not inclined to trust you, but if you've got Vincent convinced, then I have no reason to doubt you.  
  
Tseng nodded in acknowledgement of Cid's distrust. "Understood, Mr. Highwind." He then turned his attention back to Vincent. "As per your discussion with Tifa last night, I am to understand that you and she have no intention of parting ways, despite the obvious safety implications of that action?"  
  
"Yes." Vincent simply replied.  
  
"That is your decision, and I am in no position to double guess your choice. Rather than only offering to protect Tifa for you in a secure location where her transmissions can be blocked, I will extend the invitation to you as well." Tseng locked gazes with his brother in order to get the seriousness of the proposal across.  
  
Vincent thought about it for a second. "I really should check with Tifa before making any decisions on her behalf."  
  
"I appreciate your chivalry, but the assassins that Shin Ra have coming after you will be here shortly. As long as you remain here, you are placing your friends' lives in danger. You need to decide quickly." Tseng said flatly.  
  
"What will happen when the assassins get here and realize that I'm gone? What of Shera and Cid's safety?" Vincent asked.  
  
Tseng smiled, already having a plan prepared. "We will let them know through Tifa that you are leaving, at which point they will call their dogs off. As a precaution however, we will leave a few agents around town to take care of any loose cannons. You have my word that your friends will be looked after."  
  
Vincent bowed his head in defeat. He took having to get help from others as a sign of weakness. "Then Tifa and I shall go with you. But there is something else you're not telling me. You have never been able to hide things from me well."  
  
Tseng was pleased with his brother's choice and perception. "Yes, there is something else I wish desperately to tell you, but I cannot take the risk of Shin Ra finding out this 'secret', so it must wait until your girlfriend is out of Shin Ra's hearing range."  
  
Vincent's interest was sparked. "Not even a hint I suppose?"  
  
"No." Tseng would not be swayed.  
  
Vincent rose from the table. "I need to go tell Tifa to get ready."  
  
Tseng turned his attention to Cid as Vincent left the room. "I want to assure you that Shera and yourself have nothing to be concerned about. We will see to your protection."  
  
Cid tossed his head back sarcastically. "Thank you very much, but I have dealt with your friends before. There is nothing I am afraid of."  
  
"I find your refusal to fear anything refreshing." Tseng replied. 


	7. Escapism

Guilt's Cost: Part VII

Escapism

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent found Tifa sitting with Shera on the couch. Some over rated talk show was flashing by on the television silently, as they had muted it during their conversation. The two women were so engrossed in "baby talk" that it took them several minutes for them to notice that Vincent was standing before them.

Tifa looked up at him and smiled. "So, what's up?"

"You and I need to go with Tseng." He knelt down to her level. "He can see to our safety until his men find a way to remove the implant in you."

She nodded shallowly. "I see. If that is what you think is best, then that is what we'll do." 

He reached out and took her hand in his. "I really do. I trust him, and I want to do what is going to keep you the safest."

"All right then." She rose from the couch. "I'll go get our things."

Shera pushed herself up as well. "Let me get you some things for your trip."

He returned to the kitchen, walking in on an uncomfortable silence that had fallen over Tseng and Cid. The two men were staring each other down and Vincent neither knew why nor cared to find out. 

Cid was the first to speak. "So, you and Tifa going?"

"Yes." He replied. "Tifa is getting ready right now."

Tseng stood. "You have made the right decision, brother. Step out front when you're ready. I will go see that the car is ready."

After he walked out, Cid turned to Vincent. "You're sure about him, right?"

Vincent nodded.

"That son of a bitch pulled a lot of weird stuff on us in the past. I hope you're not forgetting that." Cid pulled a cigarette from his pocket and prepared to light up.

Vincent was well aware of his friend's suspicion and knew it was reasonable. The last time they had dealt with Tseng he was on the opposite team and Vincent's rush to trust him did seem a little hasty, even to himself. But the things that his brother had told him the night before made distrusting him impossible in Vincent's eyes. 

Tseng too was aware of the dangers of lying to Vincent. If he did anything to make his brother doubt him he had already signed his death warrant. Vincent was not the type of man to mess with in the ways of trust. He had been hurt in that way before and like any injured beast, he would be quick to lash out at anyone who threatened to wound him again. Tseng would be very careful to not give any reason for Vincent to kill him, because that is exactly what he would do. Even if something accidentally should befall Tifa, Tseng knew he would bear all the blame in his brother's eyes. Until Tifa and Vincent were safely inside the hideout, there would be no rest for Tseng.

Soon, Tifa rejoined Vincent in the kitchen and they stepped out of the house, closely tailed by Cid and Shera. Tseng was standing before them with the door to his limo opened. Tifa clapped her hands together and jumped up in excitement. 

Vincent's reaction wasn't quite as demonstrative. "Tseng, I thought we were going for subtlety here."

Tseng smiled. "Don't worry. This is just to get us to the airport, where they already know we're going."

Vincent accepted this answer, still feeling a little awkward riding in such a vehicle. He turned back to Cid and Shera. "Thank you for putting us up for the night."

"Think nothing of it." Shera smiled. "Let us know you're okay later."

Tifa walked over and gave her a hug. "We will. Bye Shera."

Vincent extended his hand to Cid. "Again, thank you."

Cid shook Vincent's hand, his dislike for this man now almost completely gone. "No problem. Take care of our little Tifa, okay?"

"Yes, Sir." Vincent answered.

He and Tifa turned and got into the car, followed by Tseng who closed the door behind them. They got situated and the driver started the car down the road. 

Tseng flipped a switch next to the small television in the car, and a low hum was heard. "You may talk freely until we get the airport. This car is equipped with a scrambler."

Vincent looked at his brother. "So what is the secret you're not telling me?"

Tseng shook his head. "I can't tell you that until we get to our destination. It is something that would be better for you to see for yourself."

Tifa shot her gaze from one man to the other. "What secret?"

Tseng smiled. "There is something waiting for Vincent back at the base; something that will change some things. Until we get home, we will not mention it again, scrambler or not."

"Since you seem to be up on the events in our lives so well, why don't you fill us in on a little of what you've been doing?" Vincent asked.

Tseng sat back and thought. "What can I tell you? I have been involved in several projects aimed at disrupting Shin Ra operations from the inside. Ruining their experiments, kidnapping their researchers, hiding traitors to their company. A lot of relocation protection type jobs. Nothing to great."

Tifa leaned forward. "From all the complaints about ASRIO on the news from Shin Ra, I'd say you're doing a decent job."

"Thanks, but as long as they still own everything and control the lives of the people, we have not succeeded." Tseng sighed. "They are still up to the idiotic crap they started with the Jenova Project."

Vincent was intrigued. "The Jenova Project? How can that still be going on? Jenova, Sephiroth, and Hojo are dead. Not to mention all the research going up in flames when the Shin Ra building in Midgar was destroyed."

Tseng grew immediately uncomfortable, knowing that he had lead them right to the conversation he wished to avoid. "We should discuss this when we get…"

Vincent cut him off in anger. "You said we could talk freely, so spill it. The Jenova Project for better or worse was something that I became a part of. Not only through Sephiroth and Lucretia, but through the experiments that Hojo carried out on me personally!"

Tseng recoiled from his brother's anger. "Please Vincent, calm down! It will be easier for you if you wait…"

Vincent moved from his seat by Tifa over to his brother. "You listen to me! If there is any vestige of the Jenova Project still going on I need to know! I can never be happy until I know that whole mess along with all the people involved are destroyed!"

Tseng furrowed his brow. "Then you will not rest until you are dead as well. Yes, the project is still ongoing, but inadvertently thanks to you, it has been set back almost twenty years, so take some peace in that. I appreciate your enthusiasm in seeking to the Project's disposal, but this is something that will require a little education on your part."

Vincent retreated back to his seat, feeling as though he had just been struck in the stomach. His mind reeled as he came to a realization. "You didn't come get me merely out of concern for my well being, did you?"

Tseng flushed in guilt. "No, you know me to well for that."

Vincent placed his head in his hands. "This was all to get me to get involved with ASRIO?"

"No." Tseng said flatly. "I do sincerely wish to get that bug out of Tifa and thwart Shin Ra's plan to kill you. But I do have an ulterior motive in getting you to trust me. There are some things that we have discovered that you have a right to know. And before we proceed with our next step, we wanted your involvement as your passion for these things would be unparalleled. So again I will ask, let us wait until we are home to discuss things further. If you choose to leave our protection after hearing us out, then that will be your choice, but I don't think you will once you see things for yourself."

Vincent was silent for a moment. Tifa could sense his unrest, and placed her arms around him. She felt him trembling in her embrace. "Vincent?"

He buried his face in her hair and whispered, "Tifa…ask him if Hojo is still alive."

Tifa faced Tseng. "Is Hojo still involved? Didn't we kill him?"

Tseng shook his head. "He is still alive. As infused with Jenova as he had made himself, he is virtually indestructible."

Vincent lost his composure and clung to Tifa. This news alone had torn out his heart. The only comfort he had found over the last several years was the knowledge that Hojo was dead, and now that was gone. What other horrors awaited his discovery back at Tseng's base he could only imagine. Tseng knew that he could rely his brother as long as the insane scientist was living, and Vincent felt used. 

The rest of the drive was made in silence with Tifa holding Vincent, and Tseng typing casually on his laptop computer. Vincent's mind raced through all his previous encounters with Hojo, searching for any weakness that he could exploit, but he could think of none. He longed to crush the scientist's throat in the metal claw he had given him.

When the car finally stopped, they emerged from the dark interior of the car into the afternoon sun. It didn't take long for Vincent to realize they were not at the airport. The smell of salt water hung heavily in the air. "Why are we at the docks?"

Tseng smiled to himself. "Shin Ra expected us at the airport, therefore we went elsewhere."

Vincent looked over at Tifa. "I never even looked out the window to figure out where we were going. I'm really getting careless."

Tseng started walking, indicating that they should follow him. "You aren't getting careless, you were just preoccupied. Nothing to be ashamed of. Our ride awaits."

At the end of the pier, the turret to a submarine protruded through the water's surface. Vincent, not fond of sea voyages in normal ships was not thrilled to realize he was destined to be on a sub. "You're kidding, right? We aren't going on that, are we?"

Tseng turned to his brother. "We most certainly are. Once onboard, we will go deep enough for Shin Ra to lose contact with Tifa. They will have no way of knowing where we are going. If they were to find where I had my men holed up, it would be very unfortunate. Oh, and just so you know, from here on out none of my men nor I will be monitoring Tifa's transmissions anymore."

Tifa, excited to hear this news, half pulled her companion onto the small submersible. Tseng led them down a short passage to a tiny cabin. 

"This will be your quarters. I apologize for the lack of luxury, but we are not in the business of hospitality." Tseng opened the door to their room.

Vincent rolled his eyes at his brother's attempt at humor. "What ever do you mean, Tseng? It is really quite lovely!"

Tifa giggled as she hit Vincent in the arm. "Sarcasm? From Vincent?"

"Who ever would have thought?" Tseng added. "Once he was the straightest laced person I knew, now look at you."

"What can I say?" Vincent shrugged as he passed everyone to enter the room. "You two just bring out the best in me. Tifa, let's leave my brother to his work."

Tifa smiled shyly at Tseng as she passed into the room with Vincent, closing the door behind her. She sat on the edge of the bed, giving it a short test.

Vincent explored the small room, assuring himself that it was secure. He reached down to his hip as he turned to Tifa, all color draining from his face. "Oh…"

Tifa stood up, concerned. "What is it?"

"My gun… I never went back for my gun!" Vincent smacked himself in the forehead. "I have been running around unarmed all day! God damn it, I am really losing it…"

Tifa embraced him. "It's fine, nothing happened."

"But what if it had? I have compromised your safety." Vincent silently admonished himself. "If anything happened to you… I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

Tifa pushed herself away from him. "Don't worry about me! I can take care of myself. This constant guilt trip you're putting yourself through on my behalf isn't necessary. If you are somehow putting your self-declared failure in protecting Lucretia onto me then just knock it the Hell off. She didn't value you or herself enough to see to her own safety. I don't have that problem."

Vincent stepped back, struck by her exact assessment of the situation. He attempted to feign anger at her portrayal of Lucretia, but it crumbed as quickly as it came for her words were true. "Tifa… I know you're not helpless."

"Then would it kill you to act like it every once in a while? You may recall, but I held my own seven years ago both before and after you joined us." Tears welled up in her eyes. "I am not Lucretia, and I never will be. If you are somehow trying to replace her with me then blow off. It's already bad enough knowing that I will never have all of your heart as long as half of it still belongs to her."

Vincent moved over to the bed and sat. He hung his head and sighed. Tifa's words had stung him deeply, and what was worse is that he knew she meant them. "Thinking about her is not what drove me to come back to you."

She turned her back to him. "Then what did?"

"The fact that I had fallen in love with you. The fact that I knew you were one of the few people who not only cared enough to try to figure out who I am, but also that I knew you were someone who could understand me. That you had loved someone who didn't return it, and knew how that could damage someone inside forever. Do you not still love Cloud just as I do Lucretia?" He narrowed his eyes.

She turned back to face him, now on the defensive. "I do still love Cloud, but I am not trying to put you in his place."

"Nor am I trying to do that with you." He rose from the bed. "Please forgive my missteps. I am bound to make a lot of them; I am not overly experienced in this kind of thing. But I do love you. If that isn't enough, then I am a failure."

She took him in her arms, knowing that she had completely disassembled him inside. Unintentionally, there was a part of her trying to push him away; the part of her that still loved Cloud, the same part that had refused to see her misery with him over the last seven years. It cut her to see what she had just done to Vincent. "Oh God, I'm sorry… I don't know what I'm doing."

He stroked her hair. "It's all right. We both have been through so much, it will take awhile for us to figure this all out I suppose."

She smiled up at him, and he kissed her. His hands slid under her clothing, and she pushed his cloak from his shoulders. Embarrassed to realize he was becoming aroused, he stepped back leaving Tifa with her hands outstretched toward him.

"Sorry…" he panted, trying to get himself back under control.

"Vincent, it's okay." She stepped back to him.

He placed his hands on her shoulders. "No, I don't want to do anything you're not ready for, and I don't want to risk losing control and hurting you."

She reached out and started to unbutton his shirt. "You won't hurt me, I trust you. Besides, I've already seen everything, and after the night on the airship, I don't think you've got anything I couldn't handle. You'll just need to be slow and careful."

He about fell over to hear her say that. "But I would hurt you if I…"

She sat on the bed indicating that he should, too. "Vincent, do I have to explain to you that I felt you the other night, and know what is there? You aren't as bad as you think. As long as we go easy, there won't be a problem. I'm a big girl, and I know what I'm doing."

His mind flashed back to his assault on Yuffie, and how her mouth bled when he pushed her away. He had hurt her terribly, but he had been rough, and she had been struggling against him. He shook those thoughts off, pained by their memory. He sat heavily next to Tifa. "If you are sure. I will leave it up to you."

She pushed him backwards and continued to unbutton his shirt. Once he was freed of his clothing, she rose and pulled off hers. Vincent lay on the bed admiring her as she stripped, realizing how beautiful and strong she was. Once undressed, she flipped off the light switch and made her way back to the bed. She lay down beside him and kissed him again. 

Vincent propped himself up with his cybernetic arm allowing his human hand to run over her body. His mind was filled with excitement and disbelief at what was happening. Never did he think this would be happening to him.

Tifa sighed deeply beside him, letting Vincent know that she was ready. She was doing her best to not let on about how nervous she was. Truth was, she hadn't made love in well over a year since the conception of her baby. Even before that, it had been infrequent that she and Cloud had been together as his depression kept him from having any interest in physical relations with his wife.

Vincent gently pulled himself atop her. He could feel how tense she was beneath him, and he whispered into her ear, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

She just managed a quiet, "Uh-huh."

Carefully, he proceeded to enter her. It hurt just a little more than she had expected, but she was determined not to make him stop. She slowly rocked beneath him, growing accustomed to Vincent's unusual anatomy. Tifa was surprised to discover that Vincent was an excellent lover, and it wasn't long before he was able to bring her to climax. As she did, she managed to whisper into his ear, "Vincent, I love you."

This was more than he could take, and he too was brought over the edge. He collapsed into a panting heap beside Tifa, smiling at her through his exhaustion. He gave her a small kiss. "Are you all right?"

She rolled onto her side so she could face him. "I'm fine. That was wonderful."

His tired face blushed. "Thanks, it was only my third time."

Tifa was shocked. "Really? But you're _very_ good."

He didn't know what to say. "Well, you're not so bad yourself."

"Oh please!" She touched the tip of his nose with her index finger. "I'm a woman, my part's not terribly difficult."

Vincent allowed himself to laugh, "Don't sell yourself short."

A short silence followed with the two of them just staring at one another in the dim light of the room. Vincent finally spoke up. "Want to go check out the rest of the ship?"

Tifa got up from the bed. "Yeah, let me just go get ready."

She picked up her clothes from the floor and locked herself into the room's small bathroom. Vincent got up as well and made his way to the light switch. After letting his eyes readjust to the brightness, he examined his surroundings. A streak of crimson caught his attention and he looked over to the bed. There, where Tifa had been was what looked to Vincent like a fair amount of blood. At once he filled with panic, knowing that he had hurt her. He quickly went to the door to the bathroom and knocked.

"What?" Tifa replied in a shaky voice.

"Tifa, are you all right?" Vincent tried to hide is fear.

She cracked the door open just a small way so she could look at him. "Yeah, I'm fine."

But Vincent could tell that she was not. Her face was ashen and on the floor behind her he saw a blood soaked towel. Vincent reached out and pushed the door open, Tifa offering no resistance. "Oh my God, what did I do?"

Tifa took a step back. "I'm okay Vincent, really. There's just a small cut, but the bleeding is stopping."

Vincent grabbed her shoulders and locked gazes with her. "Are you sure? I can go get someone if not."

A little embarrassed at the thought of someone knowing what the problem was arose. "No, I really am fine. I just freaked out a little until I realized what the extent of the problem was. I'm going to take a quick shower, and then I'll be fine."

Vincent felt ashamed for having brought this upon her, but her well being was foremost on his mind. "If you're still bleeding after your shower, I'm getting help."

"Fair enough." Tifa smiled to him as she turned to start the water. "Vincent?"

"Yeah?" His voice still trembled.

"Don't you dare beat yourself up over this. It really is nothing." She smiled back at him as she stepped into the shower. "And it was worth it."

Her words did little to quell the knot in his stomach. He decided to change the subject to ease his mind. "What do you suppose this grand secret of Tseng's is?" He listened to her reply as he stepped out of the bathroom to retrieve his clothes from the floor. 

"I really have no idea." She called out to him. "I thought finding out that Hojo is still around was quite a whopper."

Vincent frowned as he shook out his shirt. "I know. I can't believe it myself."

After a few moments the water stopped and Tifa emerged from the bathroom. "But you know, this might be good in a way."

"Hojo being alive?" Vincent cocked an eyebrow.

Tifa pulled on her blouse. "Sure. Maybe you'll be able to get some answers to the questions you undoubtedly have."

Vincent examined Tifa, seeing that she looked much more composed. "You're okay, right?"

She smiled. "Yes, it stopped. It's just a small cut, nothing to worry about. If there is a problem, I'll let you know."


	8. Revelation

Guilt's Cost: Part VIII  
  
Revelation  
  
By Kristen Gupton-Williams  
  
Vincent stepped out of the cabin closely followed by Tifa. They made their way toward the bridge of the submarine, where they found Tseng and the helmsman.  
  
Tseng smiled to see them. "Out for a little walk, I see."  
  
"Well there really isn't too much to do back in the room." Vincent said, averting his eyes.  
  
Tseng cocked an eyebrow, having an idea that Tifa and his brother already had done everything there was to do in the room. "Yes, I suppose."  
  
Vincent stared out through the view window into the darkness. Every few seconds a light on the exterior of the sub would blink, illuminating alien fish that swam close by. "How deep are we?"  
  
The helmsman replied. "All the way at the bottom, Sir."  
  
Tseng stepped next to his brother. "You really hate this don't you?"  
  
"Yeah." Vincent shrugged. "Go figure. After all the time we spent as kids on dad's fishing boat, I still grow up to hate the ocean."  
  
Tseng hung his head. "I can barely remember that boat. There is very little that I do remember about father at all."  
  
Vincent nodded. "It was a long time ago, wasn't it?"  
  
"Yes." He replied shortly. "Did you have a choice to stay or leave after he died? It seems like you left awfully quick."  
  
"My mother's brother wanted to take custody of me. Since your mother's family were not my blood relatives, I didn't get much of a choice. I wish we could have stayed together. I did my best to stay in contact with you afterwards." Vincent glanced over his shoulder to spot Tifa examining a control panel.  
  
"And you did a good job of it." Tseng smiled weakly. "I always looked up to you as my brother."  
  
"I know. That's why you joined the Turks after you were old enough." Vincent sighed.  
  
"That is correct. But right after I got to Midgar, they sent you to Nieblhim, and I didn't see you for quite awhile until I got sent there, too. Right before Sephiroth was born, if my memory serves me right." He said locking gazes with his brother.  
  
The pain of that time flashed across Vincent's face. "You remember well."  
  
"I have hated myself all these year for allowing us to grow apart to where we found ourselves on opposing teams. I let myself forget that we were brothers." Tseng's face was graced with a hint of shame.  
  
Vincent lowered his voice and leaned a little closer to Tseng. "There was just a bit more to growing apart as far as your loyalty to the Turks by the time Rufus was president."  
  
Tseng went pale. "What do you mean?"  
  
"You and Rufus." Vincent whispered. "I know about that."  
  
Disbelieving that the specter of his homosexuality had been raised, Tseng stuttered. "H-How? He demanded that everything was kept secret, fearing that it might mar his image as the president, already having a hard enough time as it was being so young."  
  
"I am your brother, of course I knew." Vincent didn't want to make Tseng uncomfortable. "Even before Rufus was killed I had an idea. But after he died, I could see the pain you were in. It doesn't bother me who you choose to love, but it does bother me to see you as hurt as you were."  
  
Tseng embraced his brother. "Once he was gone, I was able to see so much more clearly what Shin Ra really stood for. I also came to appreciate that he was using me to assure the loyalty of the Turks. I think he may have had genuine feelings for me, but overall I know now that part of it was to keep me at his side. As long as I was devoted to him, then he would be safe."  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that." Vincent said as his brother finally let him go. "In the end though, no one was able to protect him from his own selfishness."  
  
Tseng nodded. "Exactly. I couldn't save him from what he and his company had brought about. I still can't believe that I wasn't there when weapon attacked, I would have been killed, too."  
  
"I'm glad you weren't." Vincent smiled.  
  
Tifa, finally having grown board with her exploration of the bridge stepped up to the two men, realizing that she had come during an awkward moment. "Uh, hey."  
  
Vincent placed his arm around her. "We were just catching up on old times, huh Tseng?"  
  
He simply nodded, before stepping back toward the helmsman.  
  
"When will we get to our destination?" Tifa asked.  
  
Tseng eyed a monitor briefly. "Just a few more hours. Our base is located under Costa Del Sol. Our subterranean base is invisible to Shin Ra satellites, and they are unable to spy on our communications there. It is its location that will prevent Tifa's signals from being heard."  
  
Tifa was interested to hear this. "And how long do you suppose I will have this implant?"  
  
Tseng shrugged. "It's hard to say. Our researchers will have to give you a thorough evaluation first. We have removed implants from others before, but Shin Ra has gotten more increasingly clever with their attachments. We know yours is in your spinal column, making it a difficult removal. If we tampered with it before knowing exactly what we are doing, we would risk paralyzing you."  
  
Tifa shuddered at the thought. "Then take your time."  
  
Vincent pulled her closer. "He will make sure you aren't harmed."  
  
Tseng knew that statement was not only meant to comfort Tifa, but to threaten him as well. There was clearly a part of Vincent that trusted no one completely. "We have our best working on it. I hate to end this conversation, but I have some work to do. If you will excuse me, I am going to my quarters."  
  
Vincent and Tifa resumed gazing out the window as Tseng retreated. They both became lost in their respective memories, and a silence fell over them.  
  
Tifa was lost in thought over her lost baby. She had wanted nothing more in her life than to have a child, and when that goal finally seemed within her reach, it was taken from her. She had been afraid to try to conceive after the miscarriage, for fear that it might happen again. There was no way she thought her heart could take going through that again. Now she knew that the miscarriage wasn't her fault, and that there was every possibility that she could have another child. By this time she found herself with Vincent. A man who had been genetically altered, and would never be able to give her the child she so desperately wanted. Part of her writhed in the cruel irony of it all. The alternative means of getting a child left her with an empty feeling. She wanted a child with the man she loved, and that wasn't possible. Adoption and artificial insemination just seemed so unreal to her.  
  
Vincent too was pensive. Thoughts of what life may have been like if his family had stayed together back in Wutai. Back when he was young, it was a much different place. A humble fishing community isolated from the rest of the world. It had been boring to him as a child; too peaceful for his liking. Vincent had thus grown up with a yen for the big city and the exciting life it offered. Only after his uncle took him into Midgar did he realize that his expectations of city life had been a little off. Being cast into the dark and depressing place that was Midgar didn't help him escape the reality of his parents' death, and it was at that young age that he was cast into his everlasting depression. He knew that he should have set a better example for Tseng. If he hadn't taken the job with the Turks, both their lives would have been different and very likely better. Vincent would still be normal, and Tseng wouldn't have been twisted to the point of turning his back on the idol he had so admired as a child. He longed to be able to turn back the clock and find himself sitting on the floor of his childhood home in front of the fire with Tseng curled up on his lap as he read to his younger brother from some long forgotten story book.  
  
After retreating to his tiny office on the sub, Tseng sat heavily at his desk. He placed his laptop computer onto his desk and opened it. Within a few moments, he pushed back the terminal violently and folded his arms on the desk and dropped his head onto them. Bitter tears ran fourth as his long hidden pain came back.  
  
Tseng remembered Rufus, beautiful, young, and naïve. Even though Rufus had been mainly motivated to use Tseng's obvious attraction to him as a means of assuring his own safety, he had developed really sentiments toward his guard. When Rufus gave himself to Tseng, it had been with complete trust, and Tseng had always been so careful and gentle with his young lover. Although Tseng knew that Rufus needed his sexual orientation to be hidden, it still hurt to know that their affection could never be known by anyone other than themselves. At the same time as Rufus was using Tseng, he in turn was being used. Tseng was a realist and knew that he would never have anyone as beautiful as Rufus if he didn't have something to offer in return. Such a young man would have had his choice of anyone as a mate, and Tseng in a way was eager to keep his lover sequestered away from the rest of the world. He had defended that boy viciously, against any and all threats and yet when weapon had come, Tseng had been a thousand miles away. Despite the fact that there would have been no way for him to prevent Rufus's death, he had never managed to escape the guilt he felt by not being there.  
  
Although a little inappropriate, Tseng sat up and smiled to himself. Looks like endless obsession and self-destroying guilt run in the family, he thought. 


	9. Redemption

Guilt's Cost: Part IX  
  
Redemption  
  
By Kristen Gupton-Williams  
  
When the submarine finally reached the airlock beneath the ASRIO base, Tifa and Vincent had fallen asleep on the small bed they had been provided with. Tseng came to their door and knocked.  
  
Vincent awoke hearing the rap at the door, and he quietly rose not wishing to disturb Tifa.  
  
Tseng smiled when his brother cracked open the door. "I just came to let you know that we have reached our destination."  
  
"All right. Tifa and I will be out shortly." Vincent shut the door again and returned to Tifa's side. He reached down and rocked her gently.  
  
She opened her eyes, still half asleep. "Huh?"  
  
He smiled down at her. "We're there. It's time to go now."  
  
"Oh." She sat up and tied her hair back.  
  
Tseng waited for the two to emerge from the submarine, which they did a few moments later. He led them down a long corridor and into a large room filled with electronics and monitors. "Welcome to ASRIO."  
  
Vincent scanned the room, mapping it out in his mind for future reference. "Nice operation you have here."  
  
Tseng puffed in pride in what his once small resistance group had accomplished. "Yes, we have a lot of people working very hard here. The level of skill some of our agents possess is impressive."  
  
A tall man soon approached Tseng. "Sir, the briefing room is ready per your request. The presentation you wished to show Mr. Valentine has been prepared."  
  
Tseng replied with a polite nod and turned to his brother. "Well, it is time for you to learn what we have."  
  
A knot of anxiety welled up within Vincent. "Then let's get underway."  
  
Tifa picked up on Vincent's tension and took his hand.  
  
Tseng frowned slightly. "I am sorry, Tifa, but I think Vincent and I really should go over this alone. I'm sure he will fill you in afterward."  
  
She looked to her companion, and Vincent stared back. "It's all right, Tifa. I will tell you everything, but I think Tseng and I should be alone for awhile."  
  
Tifa accepted Vincent's request and let go of his hand. Tseng motioned to the young man standing next to him. "Ms. Lockhart, my associate Zale will give you a tour while Vincent and I discuss things."  
  
Once Tifa was off, Tseng led Vincent from the control room into a large conference room. Vincent sat on one side of the large ebony table that divided the room in half. Tseng sat at the head of the table and began to manipulate a control panel to his right. The lights to the room lowered, and an image of the Shin Ra logo appeared on a large screen at the opposite end of the room.  
  
"As you have already discovered, Hojo is alive and the Jenova Project has continued."  
  
Vincent watched as the logo faded and a picture of Sephiroth came into view.  
  
Tseng went on. "After Sephiroth's defeat, Hojo planned to again clone him and to provide him with an equally superior mate. Hojo decided to start with this new female counterpart, wishing to perfect his new techniques on her before beginning work on his beloved Sephiroth. For this female, he choose to have her grown in his newly developed accelerator, and forgo a human mother. The genetic material he used to create her he had taken from specimens that had displayed a superior ability to survive experimentation. It took five years for her to grow to maturity in the accelerator, at which time she was released physically aged to twenty-one years of age. Her mind had been developed during her incubation through computer input."  
  
Vincent listened with great interest, and looked on as the image of a female form floating within the growth accelerator developed. "So five years to instant adult?"  
  
"Yes." Tseng said. "Hojo was very pleased with the preliminary results. She was physically strong, and intellectually superior. Before starting the cloning of Sephiroth, he ran a genetic profile on her to test her compatibility with her proposed mate."  
  
On the screen an image of two electrophoresis graphs appeared, with meant little to Vincent.  
  
Tseng leaned forward in his seat, obviously near the interesting part. "Hojo could not believe his eyes. Sephiroth and JEP2-04 shared too much similarity. It was clear that they shared a common parent."  
  
Vincent stood up and once. "No, it can't be."  
  
Tseng ignored his brother's reaction. "Hojo had never bothered to compare Sephiroth's genetic profile to his own. He had always accepted that Sephiroth was the product of him and Lucretia. Now he discovered that Sephiroth and JEP2-04 were siblings."  
  
"That I was Sephiroth's father, and that in his desire to use my DNA for this new project, he had made a terrible mistake." Vincent said flatly.  
  
"Correct." Tseng rose from his seat and walked toward the screen now displaying a picture of various papers and books scattered across a desk. "In his rage at this deception, or rather, lack of his parentage of Sephiroth, he demanded the project terminated in its present form, and for it to be restarted with new specimens. Despite how perfect he believed Sephiroth to be, the thought of him being your son was too much."  
  
Vincent landed heavily back in his seat, the weight of the news too great. "So what became of the girl?"  
  
Tseng exuded pride. "Our operatives learned that she was to be destroyed per Hojo's demand. I felt obligated to prevent that, not only because technically she was my niece, but also because I knew I owed it to you. I was not prepared to turn my back on a family member again. We managed to smuggle her out of the lab before Hojo's order could be carried out."  
  
Vincent asked the next logical question. "Where is she now?"  
  
Tseng clicked the small remote in his hand, causing the screen to go blank and the lights to come back up. "She is here, of course. Furthermore, she has been waiting quite eagerly to meet you."  
  
Vincent again rose from his seat, a slightly confused look overtaking him. "She knows about me?"  
  
Tseng laughed to himself. "Of course she does. When we first got her out of that God forsaken lab, she was terrified by everything. The only way I was finally able to calm her was to let her know that she wasn't just a scientific experiment, but a real person with a family that she could be reunited with."  
  
Vincent walked over to his brother, not exactly knowing how he should feel inside. "How long have you had her?"  
  
Tseng didn't have to think long before answering. "About two years. In that time she has become very involved with our operations here. Her mind is amazing, and her desire to see Hojo and his projects come to an end is second only to yours. Through her knowledge of Hojo and his other experiments, we have liberated others who he had been detaining in the name of science."  
  
Vincent was please to hear that she was involved in the fight against the wretched scientist. "And what is my daughter's name?"  
  
"Hojo never named her, only giving her the number JEP2-04, short for Jenova Experiment Phase Two, trial number four, but she eventually took to being called Angel, as my pet name for her stuck." Tseng smiled. "Stay here, and I will have her brought in."  
  
Not daring to breathe, much less move Vincent remained exactly where he was as Tseng left the room momentarily. With his mind racing, Vincent tried to absorb all that he had just heard. After going from believing that he had taken part in killing his only child Sephiroth, he now had to negotiate discovering that he indeed had another child who was very much alive and well. He was honestly touched to discover that Tseng had seen to her rescue on his behalf. Had he been anyone else other than who he was, tears of joy probably would be streaking his cheeks but he maintained his stoic façade. After so many years of loneliness, he now found himself with a mate, a brother, and now a daughter. His once frigid heart was beginning to melt.  
  
Soon, the door to the room opened again. Vincent watched as Tseng entered, followed by a tall woman. Her knee length hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, and was the same raven shade as Vincent's. Although dressed in a business suit, he could see that her frame was lithe, but clearly very strong. Her complexion was flawless, and her pale skin was in stark contrast to her hair. Once she made her way closer to Vincent, he was able to see that her eyes were ice blue and piercing.  
  
She came to a halt four paces away from Vincent, obviously scrutinizing him closely. Vincent's heart sank somewhat from this less than warm approach by her.  
  
Angel's eyes narrowed and she cocked her head. "Mr. Valentine?"  
  
Vincent had to snap himself out of his reverie. "Yes, I am."  
  
She continued to stare at him expressionless, making Vincent even more uncomfortable. He wondered what she was thinking about him, worried that she was being very disappointed by her father's visage.  
  
Then, it happened so quickly that Vincent was caught off guard. Her face broke into a wide smile and tears came to her eyes. She rushed forward and embraced him. Vincent placed his arms around her tightly. Angel clung to him as if she never would let him go.  
  
Through her tears, she said, "I have been waiting so long. Uncle Tseng has been so good to tell me about you, but nothing could make up for the fact that you weren't here."  
  
Vincent closed his eyes, enjoying her embrace. "I never knew about you until now. Had I known, I would have torn down that lab myself to get you away from that mad man."  
  
She finally let go of him and took a step back. Her face had reddened from her emotions. "There was no way for you to know, and had it not been for your brother, no one ever would have known about me at all. I would have been swept under the carpet will all of Hojo's failures."  
  
Vincent smiled at her. "You are not a failure. In fact, you are the first thing that ever came out of his lab that wasn't evil or twisted."  
  
She grinned. "Yes, hence why according to him I was a failure."  
  
Vincent embraced her again, disbelieving what was happening. "He will never touch you again. No one will ever do anything to you that you do not wish. They would have to go through me first."  
  
Tseng watched the emotional display from across the room, proud to have caused such a joyous event. Angel had never been an overly demonstrative person, being too much like her father to display frivolous feelings, but in watching her with Vincent, Tseng came to realize that she was just as feeling on the inside as anyone else. The cloud of depression that she had never been able to escape seemed to lift. This was the moment that Tseng had been waiting for, ever since discovering of Vincent's daughter's existence, and he now shared in their joy. 


	10. Breaking Point

Guilt's Cost: Part X

Breaking Point

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa was lead by her escort back to the conference room. Upon entering, she saw Vincent across the room with a raven-haired woman in his arms. At once, a spike of jealousy boiled up within her. Her mind immediately thought the worst, _Oh my God, is that Tseng's secret? That some lover of Vincent's is still alive? If it's that Lucretia chick, I swear I'll kill all of them!_

Vincent felt Tifa's returned presence and stepped away from Angel. He at once walked over to Tifa, clearly excited. "Tifa, you would not believe what has happened."

Tifa bristled, dreading the answer. "Try me."

He was slightly caught off guard by her tone, and quickly came to realize why. "Tifa, this is my daughter."

Her jaw dropped. "Your daughter? What? But how?"

Tseng couldn't help but interject. "Hojo produced her in his lab a few years ago, using Vincent's genetic material, thus she is his daughter."

Tifa, still in shock walked up to Angel. "Hojo created you?"

She nodded. "Yes, I am Angel."

Vincent, seeing that Tifa was horribly confused, hurried to her side and quickly ran down all that Tseng had just told him. After hearing the whole story, she nodded shallowly in acceptance.

Tseng approached the group. "If you would like, you all may go to the commissary to get something to eat and discuss things further."

Tifa and Vincent readily agreed, starved after their day of travel. After getting to the cafeteria, they sat with their food before them. Tifa and Vincent took up one side of the table, with Angel sitting opposite them.

Angel leaned forward, smiling at the two. "So, tell me about Tifa."

Vincent took a moment to respond, as the meat he had been served wasn't particularly tender. "Certainly my brother told you about AVALANCHE and their work at the time of Meteor?"

She nodded. "Yes, indeed he did. It was they that woke you from stasis under the Shin Ra mansion, where you had been left by Hojo."

"Correct." Vincent was pleased at her knowledge of that time. "Well, Tifa was a very important part of that group, and as I fought along side her, we became friends."

Tifa smiled, remembering how cold Vincent had been to everyone but her back then. "I was very lucky that Vincent chose me as a friend. He hadn't managed to make very many in that group."

Vincent glanced over at Tifa, disbelieving that she could have ever seen anything in him back then making her want to be his friend. "Yes, you were very kind to me, and I never could figure out why. After Sephiroth's defeat, I went my own way from everyone else. As the years passed, I couldn't get Tifa out of my mind, and eventually I had to go back and find her."

Angel furrowed her brow. "Pardon me if I'm not mistaken, but I thought Tifa was the member of the group that eventually married Cloud Strife?"

Tifa hung her head. "That is me."

Angel was confused. "So you went to find her despite the fact that she was married to perhaps the greatest warrior to come along since Sephiroth? Father, you are very brave."

Vincent couldn't believe that someone was calling him 'father'. "I had to find her, I had no choice. I wouldn't have been able to go on without doing so."

Tifa smiled weakly. "My marriage to Cloud was not one of love. He had simply married me because he couldn't think of anyone else to live with. He had been suffering from terrible depression ever since Aeris had been killed."

"Aeris? That was the ancient, right?" Angel asked.

Tifa was also pleased that Angel was well versed on the events that happened before her creation. "Yes, she was. Aeris was a wonderful girl and I don't blame Cloud for falling in love with her, but after her death, he was never able to live life in the same way. Once there were no more battles to be fought, he couldn't shake his sadness, and shortly after Vincent came into town, Cloud took his own life."

Angel was shocked. "Cloud Strife is dead? We haven't gotten any news reports to that effect…"

Tifa leaned forward. "He rarely came out of the house. There is a good possibility that no one has even missed him yet. I should call someone to make sure he doesn't lie in that house any longer. I didn't even think of that."

Vincent placed his arm around Tifa, seeing that she was admonishing herself for not seeing to Cloud's final arrangements. "It's all right, Tifa. We'll get it taken care of.."

Angel reached across the table and grasped Tifa's hand. "I will have someone sent there to tend to those matters immediately."

Tifa was touched by Angel's concerned tone. "Thank you. I would appreciate that."

"Think nothing of it. It's the lest I can do for the woman that has been such an inspiration to my father." Angle let Tifa's hand go.

"Anyway," Tifa continued before the tears welled up for Cloud, "I have been with Vincent since then. I know it hasn't been that long since we were reunited, but it seems like we were never apart. He understands me like Cloud never did, and I know he cares for me unlike anyone else ever has."

Vincent held her just a little tighter. "Had I not found Tifa, I may never have ended up here."

Angel donned a grateful grin. "Then it would seem that I owe Tifa my gratitude for your arrival as well."

A silence fell as they finished their meals. Vincent watched both Tifa and Angel, pleased that the two of them were taking a liking to one another. Even though he sensed sadness emanating from Angel, he liked the fact that she was in touch with what she felt. Had she been a cold person like he had been her life would have been headed down a difficult path. She was pleasant, and seemed to be someone who wouldn't be as socially uncomfortable as he had always been. 

He wondered who her mother might have been. Certainly she was just an anonymous egg donor, lost somewhere in the labyrinth of the Shin Ra Corporation's file system. Someone who, for whatever reason, had allowed herself to be used by Hojo. Why there were such people, Vincent couldn't understand, but Hojo had never seemed short of subjects. Vincent also knew that not all of Hojo's subjects had been volunteers. There was a chance that Angel's mother had been someone taken against their will as he had been.

Vincent shuddered as he speculated over what may have happened to his daughter at the scientist's hands. Knowing only the terrors that had befallen him there, he flared with anger to think that she may have been treated the same way. He ached to ask her, so that he could hunt down Hojo and torture him in the same ways. He knew that if he ever got the chance to kill Hojo that he would, but that it would not be quick. Hojo would suffer; Vincent had spent a countless number of hours on contemplating how he would do it. He would be cruel, tearing Hojo apart one small bit at a time. He had often dreamed of that day when Hojo would beg him for mercy, and Vincent knew he would just smile and carry on. With the very claw that Hojo had fused to Vincent's body he would tear the flesh away from his bones. Vincent had regretted not getting to do these things to the scientist the last time they had met, but now knowing that he was alive his darkest fantasy had taken new life. This time when Vincent killed Hojo, it would be done right.

Later that evening, Tifa and Vincent were relaxing in their room. The accommodations they had been given at the ASRIO base were somewhat Spartan, but still livable. They sat together on the couch watching the evening news. Vincent was on the verge of nodding off when a knock came at the door.

Vincent slowly got up and made his way to seeing who was visiting. He opened the door wide expecting Tseng or Angel. When Vincent froze as he laid eyes on who was there, Tifa sprung to her feet and made her way to his side knowing something was wrong. 

Once she was closer, she filled with terror at what she saw. The man at the door was holding a gun aimed directly at Vincent's head. She quickly recognized the gunman by the orange shock of hair pinned down under the sunglasses on top of his head.

"Reno?" She gasped.

He gave her little regard, concentrating on maintaining his aim at Vincent. "Tifa."

Vincent just remained motionless, waiting for Reno to waver in his aim.

Reno's face was expressionless. "I was sent here to give you something, Mr. Valentine."

"What?" Vincent asked flatly.

Reno tossed the gun into the air, grabbing it by the muzzle. He held the grip out toward Vincent. "Your gun."

Shocked and a bit confused, Vincent reached out and swiped the gun from Reno's hand. He examined it briefly. "My Death Penalty?"

Reno pushed his way past Vincent walking toward Tifa. "Yeah. Tseng knew that you would want that back after forgetting it in Rocket, so he had me get it for you."

Vincent kept the gun in his hand, having too much adrenaline in his system to put it down yet. "You're with ASRIO now?"

"Yeah, and you're welcome, you prick." Reno looked back over his shoulder at Vincent. "I had to crawl around a muddy God Damned river bed to get that for you, would it kill you to say thanks?"

Tifa knew she needed to break the tension between the two men. "So, Reno, what made you join Tseng's men? Did he recruit you since he worked with you as a Turk?"

Reno smiled as he ogled Tifa. "Tseng's a right fine guy and all, but the fact that he and I were friends didn't get me here."

She didn't want him to continue undressing her with his eyes, so she moved to Vincent's side. "What was it, then?"

Reno casually sat down on the couch Tifa and Vincent had vacated. "After the Turks disbanded, Elena and I decided that we wanted something more from life, and we settled down and started a private security company. But after that fucker Harwin recreated the Turks and we refused to join, life really started to suck. We were constantly harassed until Elena was taken into custody. They hoped by holding her I would rejoin, but when I refused, they tried her for treason and executed her. That was when Tseng offered this job to me. I couldn't refuse after they had killed her."

To Vincent and Tifa's disbelief, Reno had to wipe a tear from his eye. Not wanting to show any emotion to his former enemies, Reno donned an angry posture. "Until everyone involved with her death is wasted, I won't stop kicking Shin Ra ass."

Vincent's curiosity got the better of him. "What about Rude? I know he and you were pretty close."

Reno slapped the cushion next to him out of anger. "That mother fucker rejoined, despite what they did to Elena. He gave me some bullshit story about how we had an obligation to Shin Ra for taking care of us over the years. Son of a bitch was too scared to not go back."

Tifa couldn't help but feel for Reno and she went and sat next to him. "You've been through a lot over the last seven years."

Reno saw this as an opportunity and rested his head on her shoulder. He lazily put his arms around her, allowing his one hand to slide a little too close to one of her breasts. "Thank you, Tifa."

Vincent flared to see him so obviously try to grope Tifa. "Get your hands off her, Reno."

He stood up quickly, afraid that Vincent might do something rash. "Sorry dude. I didn't know you two were a thing." He faced back to Tifa. "You really serious? Vincent for a boyfriend? Damn Tifa, did something whack you in the head or what?"

She took offense at his words and rose from her seat. Tifa made her way to Vincent's side and slid an arm around his waist. "I am very serious. Vincent is a wonderful man, and it would do you well to realize that."

Reno felt the force behind her words and put his hands up in defense. "Don't get all pissy on me. Jesus, if you want to hang out with fucking Marilyn Manson, that's your business."

Vincent still had to suppress the urge to raise his gun and cut short Reno's impudence. "Is that all you came for?"

Reno turned his back to the two and crossed his arms. "Maybe, maybe not. I'm starting to think you don't like me so much, Vincent."

"My sentiments toward you have been out on the table for a long time. You are a rat, and everyone knows it. And although you may have done an honorable thing on behalf of Elena's memory by joining my brother, you are still Reno and therefore not someone I plan on showering with during the early hours of the morning." Vincent said, nudging Tifa slightly as he did.

Reno slowly turned around, his eyes wide. "The fuck? Did you just make a joke? Keep that shit up an' people are gonna' lose respect for you. Tseng did have me come here for something else, although I don't know if you'll be interested."

Tifa cocked her head. "What is it, Reno?"

"Well, if you're going to twist my arm." Reno fell back onto the couch. "The old man wanted me to ask you guys if you would be interested in going along on a raid to the lab tomorrow."

Vincent narrowed his eyes. "Will Hojo be there?"

"No," Reno snapped back, "your boyfriend is off at an auxiliary lab in Kalm, leaving the lab at Midgar free for the taking."

"What is the objective?" Vincent's interest was piqued. 

"Oh, let's see." Reno thought for a minute. "Aside from the usual ass kicking and experiment disruptions, we're going there to nab a sample of some virus he's been working on so we can come up with a vaccine for it. Hojo's starting to branch of into bio-warfare, and we want to nip it in the butt."

"The expression is 'nip it in the bud'." Vincent corrected; not really sure why he even cared to do so.

Reno's sarcastic smile fell. "Let me guess, you have a long hidden desire to be an English teacher, right?"

Vincent decided to get the conversation back on track. "So why can't Tseng just have one of his inside men steal the sample for him. Seems like it would be a lot less trouble."

Reno rolled his eyes at Vincent's lack of insight. "Where's the fun in that? Besides, we don't want to risk compromising our insider's status in the lab. If he got caught, we would be set back quite a ways. He has become very trusted by Hojo, and has managed to attain a level of security clearance none of our previous agents has been able to touch. And since he will be with Hojo tomorrow, he won't be suspected at all."

"I see." Vincent said under his breath. He looked down at Tifa, still clinging to him. "What do you think?"

She smiled up at him. "It's been a long time since I've been in that kind of action. It might just be worth while."

Vincent nodded. "All right then. Tell Tseng that we're in."

Reno got to his feet, and made his way toward them. "Good."

Vincent watched in shock as Reno pulled Tifa away from him and kissed her full on the mouth. Tifa writhed in his arms, but was simply being overpowered. Rage boiling up within him, Vincent's cybernetic claw whirred to life and grasped Reno's neck in its talons. Tifa managed to wriggle away as Reno's arms latched onto Vincent's claw, supporting his weight so his neck wouldn't snap.

Vincent held Reno up just enough so he could no longer touch the ground. Reno attempted to breathe but found it impossible from the pressure on his throat; his face growing dark as he strangled.

Tifa caught her breath and turned seeing Reno in desperate danger of being killed. "Vincent, put him down!"

Vincent gave her little regard as the prospect of killing began to give him a rush. He tightened his grip just a bit more.

Reno's struggle became frantic, and he started kicking wildly, coming no where near striking Vincent.

Tifa ran over and pulled on Vincent's outstretched arm. "You're killing him, stop it!"

Had Vincent not caught a glimpse of Tifa's terrified expression at that moment, Reno would have lost his life. Seeing her brought him back to reality and he quickly opened his talons, causing Reno to fall into a heap on the floor.

Vincent turned away and opened the door to the room. He then made his way back to Reno and grabbed his arm. Reno offered little resistance as he was dragged out and cast into the hall. Vincent slammed the door and locked it before turning back to Tifa.

She stood trembling, "Vincent?"

He instantly filled with shame for having scared her, but felt no remorse for almost having killed Reno. "Tifa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."

Her fear at once changed to anger. "You're sorry for scaring me? What about Reno? You could have just thrown him out. You didn't have to try and murder him over that!"

The anger in her words struck him painfully. "Seeing him do that to you just made me crazy."

"Drop the chivalry bullshit, Vincent." Tifa turned her back to him. "Reno's a jerk, we have always known that, but he didn't mean any harm."

The sound of Vincent's arm powering down was all that was heard in the brief silence that followed. He admonished himself for losing control but was not surprised that he had. Ever since being freed from stasis, his ability to contain his rage had been lacking. It was related to the Chaos demon that had been morphed into him, and he hated it. This was what had caused him to do so many things that he later regretted, including assaulting Yuffie seven years before.

Out of character, Vincent hung his head and drew in a shaking breath. He was going to cry, and he didn't like it.

Tifa, upon hearing Vincent lose his composure turned back to face him. She at once felt wretched, knowing that he was now hurting himself more than any of her words ever could. "Vincent, it's all right."

He turned away from her and faced the door, allowing his head to rest on its surface. "I told you that I couldn't trust myself…"

She went to his side and tried to embrace him, but he gently pushed her back. "Vincent, please!"

"Go away…" He blocked the side of his face visible to Tifa with his cybernetic hand. "I should never have come back…"

Now Tifa grew genuinely scared. "Vincent, don't say that!"

"I can't be trusted." His voice was almost inaudible. "I can only hurt people and kill. How could I ever think that I could love someone?"

She again tried to reach out to him, but recoiled when he spun to face her. His expression was blank, but clearly covering some horrible feeling. Tifa's blood ran cold, not able to understand what was going on inside him.

He put his face just inches from her own, tears still visible on his face. "I can not be trusted. Why are you with me? What will stop me from ripping you apart someday? What will stop me, Tifa?"

The color drained from her face. She knew the person facing her was not Vincent, at least, she didn't think it was. "Leave him alone!" Tifa pushed him away with all her strength, somehow hoping to excise this demon from her lover.

Vincent barely flinched from her shove and leaned even closer to her. "Why should I? I was created to kill, that is all that was ever intended of me. That is all I will ever do."

Tifa now knew that she had to help Vincent get back in control, but didn't know how. "Vincent, come back, please!"

He shoved her back, sending her reeling to the couch. "I told you to get away from me, bitch."

She sobbed loudly in fear as she sat on the couch. Her mind raced to find a way to calm him. "Vincent, make this stop!" She begged.

"Keep it up, Tifa." Vincent snarled. "Keep it up and see what happens. Make me come out, so I can use my own teeth to crush your head…"

Tifa watched helplessly as the Chaos wings ripped out from beneath Vincent's shirt. They folded themselves neatly behind his back. This was the first step in the Chaos transformation, and she knew it wouldn't be long until the rest of Vincent's humanity began to fade.

"How can you love this?" Vincent asked her, allowing his wings to open slightly. "You want a life with this? Do you want little winged lizard babies? Is that it?"

She cried as his words struck her where it hurt most. "This isn't you, Vincent! You don't fool me, Chaos. Leave him alone!"

He started to smile. "Maybe I'll just wait for a better time to kill you. It would be even more satisfying to come back and finish you that next time your perverted little mind decides that would want to fuck this monster."

Tifa leapt up and threw herself into his arms. Even if it meant that she would be killed, she needed to try reaching Vincent. "I love Vincent, not you. And if you can hear me, Vincent, please try to come back to me…"

Vincent struggled within himself, trying to wrangle the demon back into submission. He felt his metal arm preparing to tear into Tifa as she embraced him and just as it reached her back, Vincent managed to pull himself back into control. Instead of slicing into her skin, it slid behind her back, holding her tightly to him.

As his tears started anew, a wave of relief came over Tifa, as she knew that her beloved Vincent was coming back to her. "I was so scared, Vincent."

He rested his cheek against hers, shaking in her arms. "Tifa… help me… God, please help me…"

She opened her eyes to see that his wings were no longer present and she reached up and stroked his hair. "It's okay now. It's over."

He sank to his knees, burying his face in his hands. Sobs wracked his body as his mind raced through what his demon had almost done to her. "I don't think you're safe anymore…"

Tifa knelt down beside him, again placing her arms around his thin frame. "Yes I am. You just proved it. You fought against Chaos and won."

"Each time I turn, it's harder to come back. Next time I might never…" His words broke off as his tears choked him.

She rocked him gently, wishing to restore his composure. "As long as I love you, you won't hurt me."

He could say no more, and in his exhaustion laid down on the floor. His tears were starting to abate, and his eyes felt heavy. Tifa laid down beside him, and spooned up against his back. Her right arm cinched down over his waist, holding him to her. 

As she felt him finally give in to sleep, she closed her own eyes. The image of him standing before her with his wings unfurled sent a chill up her spine. She knew that Vincent would never hurt her, but Chaos was not Vincent. The demon knew no love, and did not feel what Vincent did. She knew she needed to talk to Tseng to see if there was anything his men could do to get the monster out of Vincent.


	11. Separation

Guilt's Cost: Part XI  
  
Separation  
  
By Kristen Gupton-Williams  
  
Tifa awoke to a knock at the door. For a moment she didn't move, remaining nestled into Vincent's back. When the knock came again, she struggled to her feet, incredibly sore from having slept on the floor. She looked back down at Vincent, still deep in sleep.  
  
She opened the door seeing Tseng on the other side. "Morning."  
  
He smiled back at her, his expression filled with concern. "Tifa, you don't look very well, are you all right?"  
  
She stepped out into the hall so she could talk to him without disturbing Vincent. "We had kind of a rough night."  
  
Tseng cocked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"  
  
"It's Vincent." She hung her head. "He is having a hard time controlling Chaos. He lost it a little last night, and almost killed Reno."  
  
Tseng's eyes went wide. "I really should have let you know that Reno was here, I'm sorry if he scared you."  
  
She shook her head. "That's okay, but after Reno left, he turned on me."  
  
He looked very concerned now. "Did he hurt you?"  
  
"No." Tifa felt bad for discussing this without Vincent's permission. "But he came pretty close to doing so. Isn't there anything your men can do for him?"  
  
Tseng sighed. "Not that I am aware of. Chaos is imbedded in him on the genetic level; I don't know how we would ever get him out of Vincent. If you truly feel that you are in danger, I can provide and escort to stay with the two of you."  
  
Clearly that idea was not acceptable to her. "No, I couldn't do that, and Vincent would never have it. If he knew that I was frightened of him, he would leave. I don't want him to do that, or something worse."  
  
Tseng, well aware of his brother's suicidal tendencies nodded in agreement. "You're right. You might just know him better than I do. Is he all right now?"  
  
She reopened the door so Tseng could see his brother lying on the floor. Tseng examined him from afar, seeing that the back of Vincent's shirt had been shredded during his partial transformation. Vincent's gun was a short distance from him on the ground, where he had dropped it while throttling Reno the night before.  
  
Tifa motioned to Vincent and sighed. "The way he talked afterward makes me think that he is on the verge of losing his mind. I was so scared for him. If anything were to happen to him. I don't know what I would do."  
  
Tseng whispered. "You need to worry about your own safety too, Tifa. Vincent is a strong man, but that demon inside him only grows more powerful. If it happens again, you need to call me right away." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small remote. "If anything happens, just push that button and I will be alerted."  
  
She shifted where she stood as she slipped the device into a pocket in her shorts. "So, what about the lab raid today?"  
  
"Do you think he's up to it?" Tseng asked.  
  
"He wouldn't miss it for the world, I'm afraid. But I'm a little nervous about going." She said, still looking over at Vincent.  
  
Tseng shook his head. "I'm sorry if Reno didn't make it clear, but the invitation was for Vincent only. Your implant would give you away. You need to stay here, my men are ready to evaluate your situation."  
  
Tifa's expression fell. "But I don't want Vincent to go without me. What if something happened to him?"  
  
"Tifa, he can take care of himself." Tseng smiled. "Besides, the best way for you to help him right now is to let us find a way to get that damned bug out of you. Once that's done, you will be free to move around with him as you wish."  
  
Vincent stirred from his sleep and rolled onto his back, staring blankly at the ceiling over him.  
  
Tifa made her way back over to his side and knelt down. "Hi Vincent. Are you okay?"  
  
He sat up, still a little dazed. "I think so."  
  
Tseng stepped closer. "Vincent, I'll be back in a little while to get you. I'll have something sent down for you to wear."  
  
Vincent looked over toward his brother, somewhat surprised to see him there. "Okay, I'll be ready."  
  
Tseng smiled one last time before backing out of the room and closing the door.  
  
Vincent stood, stretching the stiffness from his body. He eyed Tifa, a sheepish grin on his lips. "Tifa, I'm sorry."  
  
She embraced him. "Don't talk about it, Vincent. It wasn't your fault, and it's over now. Tseng told me that I can't go with you to the lab today."  
  
He held her out at arm's length. "Oh, the implant thing, huh? I completely forgot."  
  
Tifa hung her head. "It's fine. Tseng's men are ready to get to work figuring out how to get the stupid thing out of me anyway. You go and have a good time."  
  
Vincent could see that she was trying to cover her worry for him. "Tifa, I'll be careful today. You know that I need to go with them."  
  
"Yes." She replied kindly. "Who else better to send into a Shin Ra lab than someone who knows how Hojo operates."  
  
"Thank you, Tifa." Vincent brought her close again. "I hope that they can figure something out about that implant in the mean while."  
  
A short while later, one of Tseng's men came to the door and handed over a pile of clothing for Vincent to wear. He took the new outfit with him into the bathroom and emerged a short while later.  
  
Tifa had never seen Vincent in anything other than his cloak, black dress shirt, and pants before and she examined him closely.  
  
What Tseng had sent down was something with a mission in mind. The outfit was black, which suited Vincent just fine. His slightly loose cargo pants had been tucked neatly into his boots, but the thinness of his mechanical legs was still obvious through them. His high collared shirt was of an elastic fabric and clung to his torso revealing the contours beneath.  
  
She smiled in approval. "Tseng's got good taste."  
  
He gave little acknowledgment to her words. He felt awkward in the new clothes, wishing to throw his cloak about his shoulders, but the red color of the thing would have been too showy for a covert operation. Vincent had cinched his holster to his waist and picked his gun up from the floor, inspecting it briefly before securing it to his hip.  
  
Another knock came to the door and Tifa opened it as Vincent tied his hair back. Tseng was back. He walked over to his brother, now ready to go. "I see you got the clothes."  
  
Vincent nodded back. "Yes, thanks."  
  
Tseng turned to Tifa. "Zale will be down for you in a moment to take you to our infirmary."  
  
She nodded. "Great. When do you think you'll be back?"  
  
"Tomorrow morning at the latest." Tseng answered. "We will be flying to Midgar, so the trip will be short."  
  
Vincent made his way to Tifa to give his good byes. "I'll miss you."  
  
She hugged him tightly. "Be careful, I love you."  
  
He smiled at her. "I will, and I love you, too."  
  
Tifa closed her eyes as Vincent gave her a lingering farewell kiss. She had a sinking feeling inside, and truly feared for his safety.  
  
After Tseng and Vincent had left, Tifa slipped into the shower. Vincent had discovered while dressing that Tseng had placed some clothes into the pile for Tifa as well, and once out of the shower, she donned her new clean outfit.  
  
She sat on the edge of the bed while waiting for Zale to retrieve her. Tifa prayed quietly to herself for Vincent's safety, laughing to herself afterward knowing that he would have disapproved.  
  
"Oh Vincent, please be okay." She said to herself as she tied her shoes.  
  
Tseng's assistant Zale chose that moment to walk through her door. "Hi, Ms. Lockhart."  
  
Tifa jumped, slightly startled from his abrupt entrance. "Oh, hi there."  
  
"The Doctor is ready to see you, if you are prepared." He asked.  
  
She rose from where she sat and smiled. "Sure, let's go." 


	12. Mission Plot

Just a quick note:  
  
I want to thank everyone for their reviews and e-mails! It's inspiring me to write this quicker!  
  
Guilt's Cost: Part XII  
  
Mission Plot  
  
By Kristen Gupton-Williams  
  
Vincent followed his brother in silence, slightly nervous about the mission, more anxious about re-entering a lab where Hojo had been.  
  
Tseng sensed his brother's tension and stopped. "If you have any reservations about this, let me know now. I can't afford to have a team member distracted on this sort of operation."  
  
Vincent shook his head slightly. "No, I was just going over strategy in my mind."  
  
He knew Vincent was lying, and raised an eyebrow. "Listen, I need you at full ability and if you can't give me that, then I need to leave you here. I won't think any less of you for it."  
  
"Tseng, I assure you, I'm capable of doing this." Vincent started walking again.  
  
He decided that his brother wouldn't back out for the world. He knew that Vincent had always been terribly proud, and would never admit to anything that might be mistaken for cowardice. This had been his brother's initial downfall in not pleading his fears to Lucretia so many years before, and Tseng was disappointed to see that Vincent still hadn't learned after all this time.  
  
They finally emerged into the morning light. Vincent squinted as his eyes adjusted, trying to place exactly where he was. After looking around for a moment, he realized that they had come up on an airfield. Looking behind him, he saw that the door they had come out from was mocked up as a service entry at the base of the control tower.  
  
Tseng looked to his brother. "Clever, isn't it?"  
  
Vincent smiled. "Very nice."  
  
He led his brother toward a helipad, where a large black helicopter sat waiting. When they reached it, the side door slid open and they climbed inside.  
  
As the rotor started, Vincent glanced around the inside of the chopper to see whom his companions for the mission would be. Aside from himself and Tseng, he found Reno, Angel, and two other anonymous men. Reno gave little regard to Vincent's entry. The high collar of the shirt he was wearing was covering the dark bruises and cuts that adorned his neck.  
  
Angel made her way over and sat between Vincent and Tseng. "Good morning, father."  
  
He put his arm around her and gave her a short hug. "Hello, Angel." At once his paternal instincts arose, and he disliked the thought of his daughter going into danger. "Tseng didn't tell me that you would be joining us."  
  
She smiled widely. "Don't worry about it. I'm just in tactics; I don't actually go in with you. My job is to brief everyone on the mission while we fly."  
  
He was relived to hear this, and it showed.  
  
Angel donned an amused expression. "Were you worried?"  
  
He shrugged, trying to put the comment off. "Shouldn't your safety be my primary concern as your father?"  
  
She laughed, pleased to hear him say this. "Thanks!"  
  
Tseng leaned over her so that Vincent could hear him over the engines as the helicopter lifted into the air. "She can't ever go back into that lab. Hojo has placed, shall we say, failsafe devices within her so that if she were ever to return she would be instantly incapacitated, making her second escape very difficult."  
  
Vincent frowned knowing that his daughter was still very much in danger of Hojo. "I see."  
  
Angel rose from her seat and opened a duffel bag. From inside she began distributing communications radio headsets. Once everyone had theirs on and in working order, she too put one on and gave it a test. "Okay, can everyone hear me?"  
  
Everyone in the helicopter nodded, with the exception of Reno who just flipped his hand at her; his universal signal for get on with it.  
  
She motioned toward a diagram of the Shin Ra building that had been hastily taped to the wall. "All right. Our plan is as follows; you will be inserted on the street to the east of the building. You will get into the underground utility conduits and follow them to the building. There you will enter the building on the second subterranean level. Since Shin Ra is run by a bunch of idiots, they have yet to figure out that this is how we always get in."  
  
There was a general snicker from everyone, as this method of entry had now been used with great success over nine times.  
  
She continued. "Specialist Ericson will remain in the conduit, disrupting power to the building. Although the buildings lights and security system will still operate, this will disable their elevators. The team needs to get to the utility lift shaft. This lift is only in use at night by the maintenance crew, so it will be docked on the level you're on. You will open the doors to the lift, climb up through its roof, and proceed to make your way to the eighth floor where the lab is. The team will have approximately fifteen minutes to make the climb, as Ericson will then restore power to prevent any further disruption to the building's normal operations. Since Hojo forbids anyone from entering the lab when he isn't present, it will be vacated, and you will find yourselves free to search for the sample."  
  
She stopped to let everyone absorb what they had already heard. Tseng reached over and nudged Vincent. "I hope you aren't afraid of heights."  
  
He looked over at his brother. "Why?"  
  
"The great escape, of course." Tseng smiled.  
  
Angel cleared her throat to regain their attention. "Once the vial has been secured, it will be handed to Agent Morris."  
  
The thinner of the two mystery men waved so that everyone would know of whom she spoke.  
  
"The next step is for you to remove one of the windows. They are safety glass, so you will need to remove it from the sill, smashing it won't work. With the repelling ropes you will be provided with, everyone is to evacuate the building. By now you will have been spotted on the security cameras, and the guards will be on their way from the stairwells and elevators. Morris will be the first out, as he is the fastest. Once everyone is on the ground, make your way to the Garris Bank building one block to the South. The owners of the bank are sympathizers, and will not stop you as you make your way to the roof. Should anyone from Shin Ra be chasing you, the security team for the bank will delay them. Once on the roof, we will be waiting for you in the helicopter. Specialist Ericson will already be on the helicopter with us, and we will be ready to leave."  
  
Reno spoke up for the first time. "Pretty gutsy for us to be pulling this off during the day, don't ya' think?"  
  
Angel glanced over to him. "Exactly why we are doing it this way. Their night time security has been tightened, but they would never expect something like this during the day, and their guards on this shift leave something to be desired. I have packs here for each of you, containing what you'll need for the mission. I suggest you use the remaining flight time to get acquainted with the items inside, and to ask me any questions you might have regarding the raid." 


	13. Complication

Guilt's Cost: Part XIII  
  
Complication  
  
By Kristen Gupton-Williams  
  
Everyone on the helicopter picked up their packs and stood in silence as they prepared to disembark. The chopper lowered down in an empty field a few blocks from the Shin Ra building.  
  
Vincent smiled at Angel as he made his way to the door. "See you in a little while."  
  
She reached out and grasped his hand for a moment. "We'll be waiting."  
  
He then climbed out with the other four men. They watched as the helicopter lifted back up into the sky. The few people out on the street barely noticed the intrusion by the machine over the sounds of the traffic and overhead trains. No one in Midgar was ever really surprised by anything anymore, and the sight of a helicopter dropping off people in a vacant lot was nothing too profound.  
  
They quickly walked to the corner of the lot where a utility hatch down to the underground conduits was located. Tseng knelt down and pulled the metal cover up, grunting in exertion as he did so.  
  
Once it was open, Ericson pulled a flashlight from his pocket and climbed down. Vincent was the last in, and with the strength in his cybernetic arm, gently closed the hatch behind him.  
  
The conduit was narrow, only designed for one man to walk through at a time, and the height was so that they all had to move along stooped over. Vincent's natural dislike for cramped places was hard to suppress, and he followed the others quickly, wishing to be out as soon as possible.  
  
When Angel's voice cracked on the radio, he jumped.  
  
"Status?" Angel asked.  
  
Tseng answered, panting as they all continued to make their way to the objective. "Insertion a success, we are now about to enter the building. Easy going, so far."  
  
Her smile was obvious from her voice. "Good. Once in the lab, radio any questions about the layout to me, over."  
  
The radio went silent again. They had reached a spot where the tunnel was slightly larger, and they were able to group together. Ericson flipped open a panel on the wall, examining it for a moment. At the same time, Tseng reached up and pushed a hatch open. He pulled himself up through the opening, followed by Reno, Morris, and Vincent. Tseng then replaced the hatch, leaving Ericson back down in the conduit to disrupt the power supply.  
  
The sub-basement was dark, and they made their way silently toward the cargo elevator. Tseng led them without hesitation, knowing the route all too well. The team came to a halt before rounding a corner, hearing someone walking.  
  
Tseng silently motioned to Reno, who immediately pulled out his electric night staff. Reno walked to the corner and crouched down.  
  
A janitor, staggering along after a night of drinking, was humming some unrecognizable tune to himself. He never knew what hit him as Reno leapt from the shadows and nailed him in the back with the staff. The shock the weapon sent through his body stunned him and he feel to the ground, unconscious.  
  
They then proceeded without hesitation, stepping over the fallen janitor to the freight elevator.  
  
"We're there." Tseng said quietly into the radio.  
  
A loud whir was at once heard as Ericson cut the power to the building. The eerie glow of the building's emergency lights came on. With the power out, Tseng easily slid open the doors to the elevator and went inside. Morris, the most acrobatic of the bunch, jumped up and pulled open the emergency door in the top of the elevator, and then jumped again, grabbing the edge and pulling himself up. He reached back down and helped Tseng up, followed by Reno, and then Vincent. There were emergency lights in the elevator shaft, allowing them to see well. An escape ladder ran up the wall, and they began to scale it. The climb was long, and Tseng was finding it difficult to keep up with his younger teammates and Vincent.  
  
Vincent heard Tseng stop climbing behind him and he looked down, seeing his brother gasping in exertion. Tseng glanced up, seeing Vincent staring back at him. He motioned up to his brother to keep going. Vincent obeyed his command, but was concerned that this might be more than his fifty-seven year old brother could take.  
  
Far above them, Morris was already at the door to the eighth floor. He forced the elevator doors open and slipped into the lab. Reno made it up just a few minuets later, and the two of them waited anxiously for the others. Vincent was somewhat hindered on the climb as well. His human arm was getting tired from hauling the weight of his mechanically altered body, but he managed to come up not too far behind Reno. He looked back down the shaft, seeing that Tseng was still making his way up, slowly. Reno pushed Vincent aside to also get a glimpse of their leader. Vincent did not protest this somewhat rude act, knowing that Reno was just looking for a reason to fight with him.  
  
Finally, Tseng emerged from the shaft. He went forward a few steps before bending over, in a struggle to catch his breath.  
  
Vincent placed his hand on his brother's back. "Tseng?" He whispered.  
  
He looked up at Vincent, his face dark from exertion. He handed him a security pass card. "I'm fine. Open the lab."  
  
Vincent took the card and went to the security doors that blocked their path. As he slipped the card into the slot, the building's power came back on, and the elevator doors slammed themselves shut.  
  
The computer accepted Vincent's pass card, and the lab doors opened. He stood frozen as the distinctive smell of Hojo's lab enveloped him. His stomach knotted, and he felt a sweat break out on his skin.  
  
Reno again pushed Vincent out of his way as he went into the lab, casually pushing some papers off a table as he walked in. Morris followed Reno in, immediately getting to the task of looking for the specimen.  
  
Tseng came up behind his brother and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Come on."  
  
Vincent reluctantly stepped in behind his brother, fighting the instinct to run. The sights inside were all too familiar. The same instruments and machines that had been present in the Nieblehim lab were here, and Vincent felt an uncomfortable familiarity with the place.  
  
Tseng spoke into his radio as he walked through the lab. "Angel, we're inside. Any ideas?"  
  
"It will be in the cold storage unit in the back of the room." She replied.  
  
Tseng nodded to no one and started for the large metal doors of the refrigeration unit.  
  
Vincent spotted a computer terminal in the corner, and walked over to it. He glanced over his shoulder at his teammates. Reno was pouring the contents of various vials onto the floor before dropping and smashing them. Morris was with Tseng, opening the cooler.  
  
Seeing that no one was concerned with his actions, Vincent flipped on the computer. He kept looking back at his companions as it booted up. Finally, the opening screen came up. Nervously, he typed JEP2-04 into the search box.  
  
Tseng and Morris tore through various boxes in the refrigerator, desperately seeking the virus. Tseng looked briefly at his watch, seeing that it wouldn't be long before the guards were here. Continuing the search for the vial, he spoke into the radio. "Reno, start working on the window. We need to get out ASAP."  
  
Reno sighed in annoyance as his mindless destruction of the lab was brought to an end. He walked over to the window and used the flattened end of his staff to begin prying it from its seat.  
  
Vincent sat in front of the computer as a screen full of text emerged. Most of it was in technical terms, and he didn't understand it. He scanned through it, looking for the one piece of information he needed.  
  
Tseng and Morris finally emerged from the refrigerator. "We got it."  
  
Reno managed to pop the glass from its pane, sending it crashing to the ground eight floors below. "Oh shit, hope no one was down there." He said to himself.  
  
Tseng again spoke into the radio. "Angel, the vial is secure."  
  
Vincent tapped his talons nervously, desperate to find what he needed. The others were tying their repelling ropes in preparation for escape. His eyes scanned the screen, only catching glimpses of phrases, "the specimens used in the retrial will have to be of superior caliber."  
  
Tseng furrowed his brow, as he noticed Vincent not with them preparing to bail out. "Vincent! Come on!"  
  
Not daring to take his eyes from the screen, he called back to his brother. "Go on, I'll be right there."  
  
Another line caught his attention. "One gamete for the JEP2 will come from a Mr. Vincent Valentine."  
  
Tseng flung his line out the window, allowing it to cascade down the side of the building. "Vincent, God Damn it, we need to go, now!"  
  
The alarm started to blare; the Shin Ra guards were on their way.  
  
Vincent remained frozen to his place, continuing to read, "the other gamete needed to be from someone of a unique genetic nature."  
  
Reno and Morris were already half way to the ground. Tseng was on the window ledge, ready to go. "Vincent! NOW!"  
  
The doors to the lab flew open and armed guards poured in, guns drawn. One fired at Tseng, missing him, but causing him to loose his footing, and he fell. After plummeting for three floors, he managed to get a grasp on his rope, and was able to control the rest of his descent.  
  
Vincent finally saw what he was looking for. "For these reasons, it was decided that the other genetic donor would be the Ancient."  
  
He memorized this sentence, and got up as guards started his way. Several of them fired as they caught his movements across the room. Vincent dove to the floor, attempting to evade their bullets. A sudden burning in his side told him that he had been hit. Disregarding the pain, he crawled toward the window, seeking his escape.  
  
On the street below, the others had all safely made their way down. As Tseng unclipped his rope from his harness, he looked back up, not seeing his brother.  
  
The others waited anxiously for the word from their leader. Tseng turned to them. "Get going! I want that vial on the helicopter now!" 


	14. Flight

Guilt's Cost: Part XIV  
  
Flight  
  
By Kristen Gupton-Williams  
  
The gunfire ripping through the air was rendering Vincent's hearing useless. He was no longer certain of where his attackers were, and he crawled along the floor through the shower of splintering wood and shattering glass. Although he was trying to ignore the pain inside his ribcage, it was growing increasingly intense. His breaths were drawn in short gasps, and he was well enough versed in gunshot wounds to know that his lung was collapsing.  
  
Looking up, he saw that he was close to the window, and that all of his teammates' repelling lines were still in place. He paused for a second to gather his strength before making the short dash to his only route of escape. Vincent pulled his gun from its holster and cocked it.  
  
With his chest being crushed by the pressure building within, Vincent's attempt to run to the window was dreadfully slow. He lurched out from behind the desk and managed only a few steps before collapsing onto all fours. His body wasn't cooperating as it began to starve for oxygen. The Shin Ra guards all yelled as Vincent came back into their view. Shots again rang out and Vincent attempted to flee once more firing blindly back at them over his shoulder. The cool air coming in through the open window only burned his lungs more, taunting him with the closeness of escape. As he made the last three paces to the window, another bullet tore through his right shoulder, and one ricocheted off his metal arm. With his claw he grasped a rope and prepared to jump.  
  
The guards, seeing that their suspect was in danger of getting away, used their last resort. On their leader's command, one of them tossed a grenade toward Vincent.  
  
Although his ears were ringing from the gunfire, he distinctly heard the clatter as the grenade hit the floor just a few feet from where he was standing. Knowing that his time was running out, he flung himself through the window just as the grenade exploded. The blast hit him hard, knocking him out into space. The rope that he had been grasping was blown free of its moorings, and became pitifully limp. Vincent was unaware of this, however; the blast had pulled every remaining thread of consciousness from him.  
  
Tseng remained on the street below, searching for any sign of his brother. The other team members were already half way to the Garris building where the helicopter was waiting, and Tseng knew he was a fool for not being with them, but he couldn't leave his brother behind. Tseng's heart raced even faster than it had been when he heard the shots ringing out from the building above, and he feared the worst. He felt a slight reprieve once he spotted Vincent, very much alive, in the window.  
  
Then it happened. Tseng watched in disbelief as a plume of fire erupted from the window where Vincent had been standing. He cried out in terror as his brother vanished into the flames. It was more than his heart could handle. Within an instant, Tseng's attention was torn from the spectacle he had been watching as a horrid shock ran through his chest. His heart fluttered wildly inside, and his head started to spin. He bent over in agony as his heart struggled to regain a normal rhythm. The thought of his brother being killed had driven him into a heart attack.  
  
Vincent's lifeless body fell toward the street. Had Chaos waited any longer, there would have been no time to react at all. His wings ripped out through Vincent's back, and his plummet became a deliberate glide toward the street below. The demon couldn't sap enough strength from Vincent's wounded body to complete the transformation, and the few spectators on the ground gasped as dragon-winged man flew out from the inferno.  
  
Below, he spotted Tseng stooped over on the street. Chaos had no emotional investment in seeing to Tseng's survival, but he was well aware that along with Tifa he was someone who could help Vincent survive long enough to make it through his recovery from the injuries he had sustained.  
  
He dove fast until he was flying nearly at street level. He swooped toward Tseng and using Vincent's cybernetic arm, clutched the weakened man up. Tseng was mired in confusion as the pain in his chest lessened enough to allow him to realize that he was being held around the waist, his back pressed tightly against his brother. The shock of this realization, in combination with the rush of flying made Tseng pass out.  
  
Chaos struggled to gain altitude, but the added burden that Tseng presented made it impossible. The best he could do was continue to glide down the street, toward the bank building.  
  
Back at the Shin Ra building, more armed guards started to pour out into the street. They took chase of Vincent and Tseng, although none of them could run anywhere near fast enough to keep up.  
  
Once he was close to the bank building, Chaos alit and retracted his wings. He threw Tseng's motionless body over his shoulder and started running. As he made his way through the vast lobby of the bank building, several security guards drew their weapons. There had been a long enough gap between the other ASRIO members and now that they weren't certain which team these new intruders belonged to.  
  
Chaos shouted out as he made his way toward the elevators. "We're with ASRIO! Hold your fire!"  
  
The guards lowered their guns, and stared in disbelief as Vincent ran by, still carrying his brother.  
  
He reached the elevators and hit the call button hard enough to crack the plastic panel. Chaos cursed to himself under his breath as he waited, knowing that if it took much longer for the doors to open, that the Shin Ra guards would be upon them. He looked around anxiously, spotting the emergency stairs to the right. Deciding that time wasn't a luxury, he dashed for the stairwell.  
  
He opened the door and started up the stairs, taking two at a time. He was up to the third floor before he heard the first Shin Ra guards below him. The building had a total of twelve floors, and Chaos was already beginning to loose his control over Vincent's body. If he continued to push Vincent too hard he knew he risked killing him and thus himself, but stopping meant certain death. Once up to the fourth floor, he knew he could run no more. He rushed from the stairwell and back to the elevators. He again struck the call button, and this time an elevator opened instantly. Chaos threw Tseng inside and then stepped in.  
  
He scanned the buttons, seeing the last one marked helipad. He struck it and took this opportunity to get some much-needed rest. He looked down at his body, examining his injuries. Vincent's right shoulder was severely impaired, and his right arm was starting to loose feeling. The wound in his chest was bleeding terribly, and Vincent was going to need a chest tube inserted soon to relieve the pressure of the blood building in his chest if he was going to live. Chaos certainly hoped that someone back on the waiting helicopter was well versed in such procedures.  
  
Finally the elevator stopped, and the doors opened. Chaos spotted the chopper waiting; its blades spinning as it prepared for take off. He once again hauled Tseng up and started for the helicopter. Exhausted and badly injured, Chaos could no longer hold onto Vincent's mind.  
  
From the helicopter, Angel scanned the rooftop nervously. The others had been back for a long time now, and she knew that they could no longer wait for her uncle and father. Suddenly, she saw the doors to the roof's elevator open. Seeing her father emerge with Tseng on his shoulder, she screamed in excitement. When Vincent collapsed, dropping Tseng in the process, Morris and Reno leapt from the chopper to drag the two men to safety. Reno rushed and grabbed Tseng, forever loyal to his leader. Morris took up Vincent, surprised at the apparently thin man's weight. They hauled the unconscious men onto the helicopter and slammed the door shut. Just as the helicopter lifted from the building, Shin Ra guards burst out onto the roof, pelting the body of the armored helicopter harmlessly with bullets. 


	15. Return

Guilt's Cost XV  
  
Return  
  
By Kristen Gupton-Williams  
  
Once the helicopter was safely in the air, Angel examined the two men. Tseng was semi conscious by now, making Vincent the more obviously critical of the two. He was on his back on the chopper's floor, and she pushed away the remaining shreds of his shirt. As she did so, she gasped as she saw the reptilian skin that covered part of his torso. Angel knew she couldn't let this distract her, and carried on with her exam. His two gunshot wounds were easily found. She knew that the one in his shoulder wasn't life threatening, so turned her attention to the one that was.  
  
On the left side of his chest was a sizable entry wound. Blood still ran from it, but she could tell by his labored breathing that there was more bleeding on the inside, preventing his lungs from properly filling with air.  
  
"Crap," she looked over at Reno, "I'm going to need your help."  
  
He frowned. "Can't someone else? I ain't touching lizard boy, no way."  
  
She snapped at him, not in the mood for his petty bickering. "Get over here, Reno."  
  
Sensing the anger growing in her voice, he grudgingly obeyed, and knelt down on the opposite side of Vincent from her.  
  
Angel opened up her medic bag and ripped open a package of surgical gloves. She then began pulling out various other items she would need for the procedure. "Okay, I need to get into his chest now or he's going to die."  
  
Reno watched her, feeling a little faint as she snapped a blade onto a scalpel handle. "What the fuck do you want me to do?"  
  
She wiped a spot just above the wound with some betadine scrub. "This is going to hurt him, a lot. He will probably wake up, so I need you to hold him down."  
  
After the display of Vincent's strength that he had witnessed the night before, he knew there was no way he would be able to hold him down alone. He motioned for Ericson and Morris to help him.  
  
Once the other two men had descended on Vincent, Angel took a deep breath and cut into him. She put the scalpel down and slid her fingers in between his ribs. Vincent at once bucked back to life. Even in his weakened state, the three men holding him down barely managed to restrain him.  
  
Vincent screamed through his clenched teeth, not truly aware of what was happening. The pain coupled with the restraint and confusion caused him to momentarily lapse into a flashback of his days in Hojo's lab. "Let me go! Oh God, please let me go!"  
  
Angel's heart pounded in her ears, but she couldn't let her pity for her father interfere in what she had to do. "Vincent, hold still!"  
  
He looked up at her with pain maddened eyes. "Stop! You're killing me!"  
  
Blood began to pour out from where her fingers where thrust into his chest. She fed a plastic tube in between them. "I've got to do this, or you won't be able to breathe."  
  
Unable to fight anymore, Vincent submitted to the procedure. The pain started to abate as he relaxed. His mind finally gained clarity, and he realized that he was on the helicopter, not in the lab. As the tube drained the excess fluid from his chest, he was able to breathe normally again.  
  
She quickly secured the tube with a few stitches. "Are you all right?"  
  
He stared back at her with exhausted eyes. "Yeah."  
  
"Good," She pulled her gloves off. "Please don't move. I need to go check on Tseng now, okay?"  
  
Vincent closed his eyes as she walked out of his sight. He tried to remember anything after the explosion, but could not. He had no idea why he was alive, and soon he passed into sleep.  
  
Angel made her way over to Tseng, who was sitting against the wall; his hands still clenched to his chest. There was little color in his face, and a cold sweat was broken out on his skin.  
  
He gave her a weak smile. "How's Vincent?"  
  
"He's all right for now." She replied, as she reached out and took one of Tseng's wrists into her hand. After monitoring his pulse for a few moments, she picked up on the arrhythmia his heart was producing. "How does your right arm feel?"  
  
He glanced down briefly, not remembering any injury there. "I must have pulled something, at least it hurts like I did."  
  
She nodded knowingly, and pulled a small vial of pills from her bag. Angel handed one small white tablet to Tseng. "Put that under your tongue. You had a heart attack, and that is a vasodilator that will help you feel a little better."  
  
He did as instructed, and felt the tablet melt away. Tseng closed his eyes as the pain in his chest eased some more. "Thanks."  
  
"The doctors told you that this kind of thing was too much for you anymore." She said flatly as she drew up a dose of lidocaine.  
  
He closed his eyes. "My men rely on me going with them."  
  
She pushed back one of his sleeves and snapped a tourniquet around his arm. "Your men rely on you being around to lead them. They don't need you to handle every mission personally."  
  
Tseng felt the coldness of alcohol on his exposed skin. "I can't imagine not being with them on raids."  
  
She drove the needle of the syringe into his vein. After seeing a flash of blood in the syringe, she flicked off his tourniquet and administered the drug. "That may be, but I can't imagine losing you to something as stupid as a heart attack; none of us could."  
  
The lidocaine stung as it made it's way up his vein, but after a moment, his heart's rhythm again returned to a more regular beat. "Angel, I'll be fine."  
  
Seeing the color come back into his cheeks, and his expression become less pained relieved Angel, and she took Tseng into her arms. "No thanks to my father. If he hadn't gotten you up to us, you would either be in custody or dead."  
  
"I know." Tseng sighed as she let him go. "But it wasn't exactly Vincent who saved me."  
  
Angel looked immediately confused. "But we all saw him bring you up."  
  
Tseng smiled at his niece. "Remember that I said that Vincent is possessed by a demon?"  
  
She frowned. "Yes, a hard as that is to believe."  
  
"It was that demon that picked me up from the street and flew me to the bank building."  
  
"Flew you?" Angel was beginning to think that her uncle was starting to have hallucinations from his attack.  
  
"Yes, flew me." Tseng could sense her doubt. "I don't know why Chaos would save me, but he did. If Vincent has wings, that demon is in control."  
  
She smirked. "There weren't any wings on him when he got you to the roof."  
  
"That's because he no longer needed them to climb the stairs, Angel." Tseng was growing extremely tired, and it was starting to show.  
  
Angel stood up. "We'll discuss this later, you need to rest now."  
  
She again returned to Vincent's side to watch him for the remainder of the flight home. He remained asleep, a steady trickle of fluid continuing to drip from his chest tube. Her eyes couldn't help but be drawn back to the glossy snakeskin that graced his chest. This was the visible evidence of the demon that Tseng had often told her of. Why Hojo would have done this to her father she couldn't imagine. A glint caught her attention, and she brought her gaze to the waist of his pants. The brassy shine of the metal that had replaced his lower body just peeked out from beneath his clothing. Confounded, she reached out and slid her hand down under the fabric along his hip. All she felt was more metal, and her heart grew sick to think what had been done to him.  
  
She was startled out of her thoughts when Reno shouted out at her from his seat a short ways away. "What the hell you doing? Quit touching your dad like that, it's fucking weird!"  
  
Angel frowned up at Reno as she retracted her hand away from Vincent. "Shut up, I'm not doing anything 'weird', I was just checking something."  
  
"Whatever." Reno narrowed his eyes as he looked at Vincent's unconscious form. "Even if you weren't his kid it would be weird."  
  
Her expression grew extremely viscous. "I swear to God, Reno. Why can't you just shut the Hell up every once in a while?"  
  
He returned her angry look. "Just pointing out you're a pervert, that's all."  
  
Angel's demeanor broke and she laughed up at her cocky companion. "You win, bastard."  
  
Reno grinned back down at her. She was the only one that understood that he never really meant anything by the things he said, and he had come to lover her for it. "Yippee fuckin' doo. I feel so accomplished; you gave in too quick that time, bitch."  
  
She attempted to muster something equally sarcastic to retort with, but her train of thought was shattered as the helicopter set down hard back at the airfield.  
  
Ericson had taken it upon himself to radio ahead for medics to be standing by when they landed, and the door to the chopper was thrown open as they prepared to get the fallen men into the infirmary. 


	16. Emergency Room

Guilt's Cost: Part XVI  
  
Emergency Room  
  
By Kristen Gupton-Williams  
  
Tifa sat on a bed in the infirmary, talking with the female doctor that had performed her evaluation. It was getting to be late in the evening, and Dr. Arlin had spent most of the day radiographing and ultrasounding Tifa, so that she could see exactly where the implant had been placed.  
  
"Well Tifa", Dr. Arlin said, pushing her glasses higher up her nose, "I think what we have learned today is some good news."  
  
Tifa smiled and clasped her hands together. "That's what I was hoping to hear."  
  
The doctor pulled over a stool and sat before her patient. "It would appear that the implant they placed within you was some old technology. It is lodged against your spine as we suspected, but it is relatively simple in its design. I don't think they expected anyone to find it, so they weren't too worried about it being removed."  
  
"So, you can get it out, right?" Tifa didn't want to get her hopes up prematurely.  
  
"Well, I still would like some of the other doctors to review the films and pictures, but I think that there is a good possibility that we will be able to remove it in the next week or so." The doctor smiled.  
  
Tifa was speechless in her excitement. This was what she had hoped to hear all day, but was afraid wouldn't be. "Great." was all she could manage.  
  
Suddenly, a loud alarm went off. Tifa squealed in her fright, and the doctor dropped her chart.  
  
"What's that?" Tifa asked as the alarm continued to blare.  
  
The doctor rose from her seat. "We've got incoming."  
  
Tifa was confused. "Incoming?"  
  
Dr. Arlin was quickly becoming preoccupied. "Yes, you know, wounded coming in."  
  
Tifa covered her mouth with her hands, the reality of what the doctor had just said sinking in. "It isn't the mission team, is it?"  
  
Unintentionally, the doctor snapped back at her. "I don't know, Ms. Lockhart. Just stay here, I'll be back in a while."  
  
Tifa's heart raced as she watched the doctor move to the other side of the infirmary and push an intercom button. "How many we got?"  
  
A voice crackled back through the speaker. "Two. One stable, and one critical. GSW to the chest."  
  
The doctor ran over to an emergency cart, stocked with the instruments she would need for the emergency. Tifa watched, frozen to her place. Although she was only versed in the most basic of medicine, she knew that by the items the doctor was getting ready that things were bad for whoever was on their way.  
  
Tifa was again startled as the doors to the small infirmary burst open, and several men surrounding a gurney rushed by. As the doctor and her assistants flurried around their patient, Tifa struggled to see who it was.  
  
Tifa's heart hit the floor. Between all the people she spotted Vincent's cybernetic arm hanging lifelessly from the side of the stretcher.  
  
"Oh God, no!" Tifa got to her feet and tried to reach Vincent, but one of the assistants grabbed her.  
  
"Miss, please let the doctor work." He said kindly.  
  
"No!" Tifa was in an abject panic. "It's Vincent! Please, let me see him! Let me help him!"  
  
"Tifa, what's your blood type?" The doctor asked from across the room.  
  
"O negative." Tifa stammered in her fear.  
  
Dr. Arlin looked up from Vincent. "If you want to help, then go sit down and let one of these guys start taking your blood, Tifa."  
  
Her knees felt weak, and she allowed the male nurse already holding her by the arm to lead her back to the bed she had been sitting on before. She sat staring at the activity taking place around Vincent, barely taking notice of the nurse prepping her arm and inserting the large blood- collecting needle.  
  
With tears in her eyes, she dared to ask, "Is he alive?"  
  
The man looked back over his shoulder as he secured the needle into her arm with a piece of tape. "He is, but it is very serious. He's lost a huge amount of blood from the wound to his chest, and he already had an emergency tube placed in him to help re-inflate one of his lungs."  
  
In Tifa's highly stressed state, her blood pressure was terribly elevated, and the half-liter bag that she was hooked up to was soon filled.  
  
The nurse pulled the needle from her arm, and ran the blood over to the group around Vincent.  
  
Tifa's attention was momentarily diverted as the doors to the room opened again. She looked over to see Tseng being rolled in sitting in a wheel chair, pushed by Angel. They came over to where Tifa was, knowing that Tseng would have to wait a while for the doctor's attention.  
  
Angel sat next to Tifa on the bed, and placed her arm around her. "Tifa, are you doing okay?"  
  
She gazed at Angel through her tears. "What happened? Is he going to be all right? They won't tell me anything!"  
  
Angel held Tifa tighter. "He was shot twice, Tifa. Once in the shoulder, and once in the chest. He's lost a lot of blood, but if they can stop his bleeding and curb his hypovolemia, he might be okay."  
  
Tifa was lost in her feeling of helplessness. "They took my blood to give to him."  
  
Angel smiled at her. "Then you may have already saved his life, Tifa."  
  
With Angel's comfort, Tifa started to feel less panicked. "But he might be all right?"  
  
Tseng reached over and put his hand on Tifa's knee. "Vincent wouldn't let something like this stop him. Even after being shot, he carried me back to the helicopter." He decidedly left out the part where Vincent had been taken over by Chaos.  
  
Tifa noticed for the first time that Tseng looked like Hell warmed over. "What happened to you? Were you shot, too?"  
  
Tseng laughed weakly. "No, nothing that heroic I'm afraid."  
  
Angel looked slightly annoyed. "Tseng has a terrible heart, and he suffered a pretty good attack. That's why Vincent had to bring him all the way back to the helicopter."  
  
Tifa smiled faintly in pride at hearing of Vincent's heroism. "Really?"  
  
A scream brought Tifa's attention back to the activity around Vincent. She wasn't certain, but she could have sworn that the cry had come from Vincent.  
  
"Stop it!" Vincent yelled out again, protesting at the nurses and doctor working on him.  
  
Tifa couldn't hold herself back anymore. After all the torture that Vincent had survived from Hojo, she knew he was going mad having so many strange people around him, hurting him in their attempt to help.  
  
Despite the attempts of the nurses to push her away again, Tifa fought her way through, making her way to his left side. Seeing the wild fear and agony on his face tore her apart inside. "Vincent?"  
  
He looked up at her, panting madly, struggling to recognize her. His mind was clouded by the drugs they had started administering to him, and he reached up toward her pathetically with his mechanical arm.  
  
She grabbed the cold metal limb and held it close to her. As soon as she had a hold of him, the look of confusion melted away from his face. "Tifa?"  
  
"Yes Vincent." She cried, elated in his recognition of her.  
  
"Please make them stop." He begged her.  
  
She reached out and stroked his hair. "I can't, Vincent. You're hurt badly, they need to help you."  
  
"Make them stop, please!" He asked again as another intravenous line was pushed into his right arm.  
  
Tifa's heart ached knowing that she couldn't grant his wish. She hoped that the drugs he now had in his system would help him forget this. "Vincent, it will stop, I promise, but they need to help you right now."  
  
"You won't hurt me.Why don't you do it?" Vincent asked, unaware of what he was saying.  
  
She smiled at him through sad eyes, but noticed that he was now so focused on her that he didn't feel the doctor manipulate his chest tube, something that would have sent him through the roof otherwise.  
  
The doctor noticed the effect Tifa was having on Vincent. "Keep talking to him, so he won't fight us anymore. Let him know we're almost done. We just need to take care of his shoulder."  
  
Tifa nodded and looked back down at Vincent, locking him into her gaze. "Vincent, listen to me, they are almost done, okay?"  
  
"I don't care." Vincent's ingrained fear of having no control over what others were doing to him was making it hard for him to stay focused on reality. "Don't let them take my other arm, Tifa.please don't let them cut my other arm off."  
  
She placed a hand on his cheek. "No one is going to take your arm off, Vincent. They just have to fix the damage that was done to it by the bullet."  
  
"Tifa." Vincent was becoming more incoherent as more painkillers were pushed through his I.V. lines.  
  
She continued to hold his arm as he was finally put under by the drugs. Tifa was filled with an inner peace as the activity surrounding Vincent began to slow down.  
  
Dr. Arlin looked at Tifa approvingly. "Thanks for calming him down."  
  
Tifa gave her a shy smile. "I was so worried for him."  
  
"He isn't out of the woods yet, Tifa." The doctor said to her. "I'm going to have to take him into surgery to fix his shoulder, and see how much damage the bullet in his chest did. Say goodbye to him for now. We'll have to take him right away."  
  
Tifa furrowed her brow as the doctor and the nurses stepped back for a moment. She them bent down and whispered to Vincent, "I love you".  
  
His eyes reopened for just a second, and he replied. "I love you too, Tifa. Be there when I wake up."  
  
She straightened back up and let go of his arm as the nurses came and pulled the gurney away toward the surgery suite. 


	17. Waiting

Guilt's Cost: Part XVII  
  
Waiting  
  
By Kristen Gupton-Williams  
  
As soon as Vincent was out of Tifa's view, she burst into tears. After a few moments, she felt someone's arms around her.  
  
Angel couldn't bear to watch Tifa cry. She herself was torn up inside about her father's situation, and took comfort in consoling Tifa. "He'll be okay."  
  
Tifa couldn't manage any words, and broke down in Angel's arms. There was something very comforting in her embrace, and Tifa didn't want to leave it. She had come to have a genuine liking for Vincent's daughter and felt at ease with her.  
  
Angel finally brought Tifa out to arm's length. "Tifa, are you going to be all right?"  
  
Tifa wiped her eyes and sighed. "Only if Vincent is going to be."  
  
They were distracted by a nurse beginning to check up on Tseng. He protested as the nurse prepared to give him an I.V. in his arm. "I really am feeling much better, I don't think that's necessary."  
  
Angel and Tifa gave each other a small grin, and then made their way to the bed that Tseng was now laying on.  
  
He looked desperately at Angel. "Come on, tell her to back off."  
  
Angel shook her head. "No, Uncle. You do need that. If you have another attack, they'll be able to get medications into you faster through it."  
  
Tseng furrowed his brow and pouted. "Fine, I guess I'm not going to get any sympathy from you."  
  
The door to the infirmary opened, and Reno walked in. He came straight over to Tseng's side. "How goes it, boss?"  
  
Tseng looked over to his friend. "Well, if I could convince these guys that I'm fine now so they'd quit using me as a pin cushion, I'd be marvelous."  
  
Reno gave a slightly amused smirk. "Want me to shoot the nurse?"  
  
The poor nurse looked up, unimpressed.  
  
"I don't think we should really be making her angry when she's about to stick a needle in me." Tseng replied.  
  
Reno sauntered up to Angel and dropped an arm around her. "And how is Daddy?"  
  
Angel pushed Reno's arm off. "They just took him to surgery, so we're waiting on that."  
  
He put his arm back on her. "I know you've had a very stressful day, so if you wanted to go relieve some of that tension with me, my schedule's free for the rest of the night."  
  
Again, she shoved him away. "Not now, Reno. Go find someone else to harass."  
  
Taking her up on her suggestion, Reno went over to Tifa. "I guess Vincent's gonna have to spend the night in the hospital, huh?"  
  
Not picking up on his innuendo, Tifa replied. "Yeah, I think so."  
  
Reno slid his arm around her waist. "Well then, I should think that Vinny would want me to take care of you tonight."  
  
"Get away, pervert!" Tifa wriggled from his grasp. "Didn't you learn not to touch me yet?"  
  
Reno unconsciously reached up and touched his neck. "Fuck that, if you'd go and tell the Count, then never mind."  
  
Tifa frowned at Reno, annoyed at his inability to grasp the seriousness of the situation. "Jeez, Reno! Don't you ever stop?"  
  
He rolled his eyes and started to walk away, slapping Angel in the rear as he left. "I bid the Ice Princesses goodnight."  
  
Angel looked back at Tifa. "You look really tired, Tifa. Do you want me to walk you back to your room?"  
  
She shook her head. "No, I promised Vincent that I would be here when he was done. I don't think I should leave."  
  
"Okay." Angel came over and hugged Tifa again. "I have to go take care of some things so I'll have to go."  
  
"I'll keep and eye on her, Angel." Tseng said.  
  
Angel gave Tseng a kiss on the cheek. "You rest, okay? And do what the doctor tells you."  
  
He nodded. "Yes, dear."  
  
The nurse finished her work and left, now having Tseng hooked up to fluids and an EKG monitor. Tseng and Tifa found themselves cast into an awkward silence.  
  
Tifa sat on the bed next to Tseng's and began to study him. Despite his age and condition, he was still very attractive. His long, straight hair was graced with two even streaks of silver, streaming from his temples and his flawless skin was several shades darker than Vincent's. She found particular beauty in his eyes. They were of a rich coffee color, and their shape elegantly tipped up at the outer edges. Unlike Vincent, there was no denying Tseng's ancestry, and yet there was also no denying that he and Vincent were brothers.  
  
Tseng felt the weight of Tifa's stare. "Penny for your thoughts?"  
  
She blinked, realizing that she had started daydreaming. "I just can't believe that I never noticed how much you and Vincent look alike until after I found out you were related."  
  
He smiled. "We both take after our father an awful lot. From the pictures I've seen though, our mothers couldn't have been more different."  
  
Tifa realized that she really didn't know that much about Vincent's life from before he joined the Turks. "He said back in Rocket that his name used to be something else, what was it?"  
  
Tseng was surprised that his brother had told her that. "Tsuvati was his given name."  
  
"Tsuvati." She let the name roll off her tongue. "I like that. Tseng and Tsuvati."  
  
"It was a long time ago that he ever let anyone call him that. Once he joined the Turks, it was Vincent Valentine all the way. He even got angry when I called him Tsuvati in private. I know why he did it, but it hurt me in a way to see him turn his back on his heritage." Tseng sighed.  
  
"Yeah, back when we first met him, he never hinted to us that he was Wutain." Tifa smiled as the memories returned. "Heck, even when we went to Wutai with Yuffie, he completely acted like he had never been there before."  
  
"Well," Tseng raised his eyebrows, "it is much different now than it was when we were children. Back then, it was just a small fishing port, too far off the beaten path for anyone to visit. We were pretty isolated. Then, after Yuffie's family came into power, they managed to play the place up as a tourist attraction, and everything was rebuilt to make the town more exotic for the travelers."  
  
The talk about Yuffie and Wutai brought a question to Tifa's mind. She had heard Vincent mention having attacked the girl as they prepared to disband seven years ago, and although she by now had a fairly good idea of what he had done, Tifa still wished she new the whole story.  
  
Tseng could see the question that was in her expression. "What?"  
  
She shook her head, knowing that she shouldn't discuss this with Tseng. "I just remembered something that happened there a long time ago."  
  
"May I ask what? It seems to be bothering you." Tseng turned over onto his side so he could face her.  
  
"I don't think I should talk about it." Tifa looked away from Tseng.  
  
"That's fine." Tseng's feelings weren't hurt; he knew that she was protecting Vincent in some way. "We don't have to discuss anything you don't want to."  
  
Tifa smiled at him, happy to know that he wasn't going to pry. She decided to change the subject. "Was the mission a success?"  
  
Tseng nodded. "Yes, we got the sample of the virus we were searching for. It's in the lab now, being analyzed. As fast as our scientists are, I wouldn't be surprised if they had a vaccine for it by tomorrow."  
  
Tifa didn't respond to his answer, and Tseng saw that her eyes were closed. The stress of the day, along with the blood she had given had caught up with her.  
  
He smiled as he watched Tifa sleep, seeing exactly why his brother was so taken with her. She was beautiful in a girlish way and so empathetic to those around her. Tseng had a notion that if he had been attracted to females in the least, he might have been able to fall in love with her, too.  
  
In the quiet of the room, Tseng felt the exhaustion from the day's events start to press down on him. It wasn't long before he too gave into sleep. 


	18. Recognition

Guilt's Cost XVIII

Recognition

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Hojo had been just finishing up work on the installation of his new growth accelerator in the Kalm lab when he got the news. One of his assistants handed him a cell phone.

"What?" Hojo demanded of whom ever had the nerve to disturb him at work.

Richter, the man who had taken over Tseng's position as the head of the Turks was on the other end of the line. "Sir, I have some bad news."

Hojo grew impatient. He was all too often bothered with piss ant problems that the feeble minded couldn't figure out for themselves. "Get on with it, Richter."

He swallowed hard; preparing himself for the string of profanity that would follow this news. "ASRIO raided the Midgar lab again, Sir."

Instantly thrown into a rage, Hojo picked up a glass vial from a nearby table and hurled it against the wall. "What the fuck? Can't you guys keep them out of the God Damned lab for five minutes? What did they take?"

Now Richter had to deliver the really awful part. "We're not really sure. The lab is damaged very badly, and the inventory process is going to take a while."

Hojo narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean the lab is damaged?"

"As the thieves were escaping, one of the guards used a hand grenade to-" Richter found his words cut off.

"Of all the stupid fucking things to do! Doesn't anyone realize how important that lab is? A grenade? God Damn it! Find out which guard used that grenade and shove one up his ass!" Hojo threw the phone to the ground, shattering it into a dozen small pieces of plastic.

By the time Hojo had returned to Midgar, his anger had boiled over into pure fury. He entered his destroyed lab and looked around. The blast had scorched everything, ruining all that had been exposed. 

"I want the tapes." Hojo growled between clenched teeth.

Porter, the Turk that was assigned as Hojo's personal guard, took a step closer to the scientist. "Excuse me, Sir?"

Hojo fumed, now even more annoyed. "The tapes, you moron! The surveillance tapes! I want to see which of those ASRIO fucks are responsible for this!"

Porter led Hojo straight to the surveillance room. He asked the attendant to bring up the images from the lab.

Hojo sat in front of a monitor and glowered as the film of the raid started to play. He studied each dark figure as they moved through the lab. _Tseng, of course, and Reno. Who is this? _"Freeze the tape!"

The attendant did as ordered.

"Zoom in here." Hojo pointed to a spot on the screen.

As the image grew larger, Hojo rose from his seat and leaned closer to the monitor. His jaw dropped as he placed the face he was studying. A cruel smile came to his lips as he licked them. He reached out with a gnarled finger and tapped the figure. "Ah, my beautiful Mr. Valentine…is that you? Oh, I have been waiting for you to show up. I've been wanting to discuss your contamination of my Jenova Project with you for a long time."

Porter listened as the scientist talked to himself. "Sir, you recognize someone?"

Hojo straightened up and turned to face the young Turk. "Yes, my dear Porter, I do."

Porter shuddered to hear Hojo speak so warmly. It meant that something evil was occupying his mind. 

Hojo turned back to the monitor, and again touched Vincent's image. Not only did he wish to 'thank' the ex-Turk for his interference with the Jenova Project, but Vincent himself was an incomplete experiment. Hojo had never gotten the chance to completely test the modifications he had made to Vincent's body. He had placed him in stasis with the hope of getting the opportunity to finish his work on Vincent at a later time, but thanks to AVALANCHE freeing him, Hojo had never gotten that chance.

Now though, he knew where Vincent was and Hojo planned to do whatever it would take to get him back in that lab.


	19. Recovery

Guilt's Cost: Part XIX  
  
Recovery  
  
1 By Kristen Gupton-Williams  
  
The quiet of the room was broken and Tifa roused from her sleep. She sat up, and examined her surroundings. In the bed next to her, Tseng was snoring quietly; his EKG monitor beeping with his heart rate.  
  
Tifa looked to her other side, seeing Vincent being moved into the bed to her left. The three nurses that had brought him in slid him gently off the stretcher, and proceeded to hook him up to a monitor and I.V. fluids. He lay motionless still heavily sedated.  
  
As they finished and prepared to leave, Tifa waved one of them over. "How is he?"  
  
The nurse smiled. "Mr. Valentine is doing better. Dr. Arlin found where the bleeding was coming from and was able to get it stopped. She also was able to remove the bullet from his shoulder. There is a lot of tissue damage, but he should recover and be able to use his arm just as well as before."  
  
Tifa took some comfort in this news. "Good, I was so worried."  
  
The nurse looked back over at Vincent. "Yeah, the only trouble the doctor had was with his skin when she was closing up. She said she'd never seen anything like that before. She said it was like trying to suture an alligator, and I don't know how many needles she bent trying to get it done."  
  
Tifa stood up and straightened herself up. "Thank you."  
  
"If anything happens, hit the call button on the wall." The nurse started to walk out. "The doctor needs a break, and I've got to go clean the surgery suite."  
  
Slowly, Tifa made her way to Vincent, not certain what she would find. She stared down at him, his body covered with a sheet, only his face visible. He looked so tired to her; there was no color at all in his skin, and the thin lines of his lips were almost blue. Tifa reached out and touched his cheek, surprised to find it very cold. He trembled slightly with each slow breath, fighting the remaining anesthesia and postoperative hypothermia.  
  
Tifa steeled herself and pulled back the sheet to look at the rest of him. His right arm was bound tightly to prevent him from moving his damaged shoulder. There was a dressing laid on his chest that ran the entire length of the front of his rib cage. She gently lifted the dressing to see what it hid. She pulled in a jagged breath as she saw the incision that ran down his chest. In an attempt to see where the bleeding was coming from, they had opened his chest up. Tifa put the dressing back in place, no longer able to bear looking at the wound.  
  
His shivering was getting worse, and she drew the sheet back up over him, tucking it down around him. Thinking that this wasn't enough, she proceeded to pull blankets off some of the other beds and covered him with those as well.  
  
Once convinced that he would finally be warm enough, Tifa sat on the edge of his bed and reached up to touch his cheek again. As she did so, his eyes drew half open.  
  
She smiled, relieved to see some sign of life from him again. "Vincent, how do you feel?"  
  
Despite the heavy amount of medication in his blood stream, he was still in agony. With every breath he drew it felt as though his chest was being crushed. For her sake, he lied. "Fine."  
  
His voice was harsh from the irritation of the endotracheal tube that had been put in his throat during the surgery so he could breathe.  
  
Although she was doing her best to put on a happy face for him, her sadness still shone through.  
  
With his cybernetic arm, he grabbed her hand. "I'll be fine, Tifa. How's Tseng?"  
  
Tifa pointed across the room to where Tseng slept. "He's over there. I think he's doing well, I was talking to him before he fell asleep. He says you saved him."  
  
Vincent's memories of the mission were faulty at best, and once Chaos had taken over, he remembered nothing. "I don't recall much."  
  
He closed his eyes again, as a wave of pain ran through him. Then, the memories of the events on the helicopter and those that followed when he got to the infirmary surfaced. He again felt the fear of being harmed; the fear that he had learned when he had been at Hojo's mercy so long ago.  
  
Tifa frowned as an expression of shame came to Vincent's face. "Vincent, what's wrong?"  
  
He was embarrassed for having lost his composure as the doctor and nurses had sought to help him. His blatant display of cowardice made him wither. "Sorry I made such an ass of myself when they were trying to work on me."  
  
Tifa shook her head. "No, Vincent, don't apologize! No one can blame you for feeling uncomfortable when things like that are happening!"  
  
"I felt like I was back in the lab again." Vincent sighed, still not able to look Tifa in the eye. "Just like it was thirty some odd years ago."  
  
"Vincent, anyone would have a fear of doctors and medical stuff after an experience like that." Tifa brought up and kissed his metal hand.  
  
It was now late at night, and Angel came into the infirmary looking quite sleep deprived. She came over to Tifa and Vincent and pulled up a chair. She bent over and gave her father a brief kiss and then landed heavily in her seat. Her head was splitting from stress. The expression that she wore let every one know that she had bad news to share.  
  
"Tifa", Angel sighed, "I'm afraid I've got something disturbing to tell you."  
  
Tifa couldn't imagine what could possibly be any worse than what she had already been through tonight. "What is it?"  
  
Angel leaned back in her chair. "We've got some news from Nibelhiem. After we tipped the authorities off to Cloud's suicide, they went to the house to retrieve the body, but they couldn't find it."  
  
In her exhausted state, a wave of confusion washed over Tifa. "Couldn't find it? He was upstairs, right by the bed. I know he was dead!"  
  
Angel was not up to speculating as to where Cloud's body might have gone or why. "I'm sorry, but it wasn't there."  
  
Tifa looked at Vincent, searching for any answers, but found none.  
  
Reno came into the room, and after going to Tseng's side for a moment, he walked over to where Angel sat. "Hey."  
  
Angel looked up at him, and patted the hand he had placed on her shoulder. "Hi, I'm almost done here."  
  
Vincent tried to sit up, hurting himself in the process. "Get your hand off her, Reno."  
  
Angel stood up and stepped closer to her father. "Reno's not hurting me. We live together."  
  
"Over my dead body!" Vincent found moving impossible, but desperately wished to have a go at Reno.  
  
Reno smirked and grabbed the cord going into the outlet near Vincent's bed. "That can be arranged."  
  
Everyone stood looking at Reno as he ripped the cord from the wall. Vincent's monitor went dead.  
  
Angel glared at Reno in annoyance. "He's not on life support, moron."  
  
Reno mumbled to himself as he shoved the plug back into the outlet. "You guys really need to lighten the fuck up."  
  
Angel gave Vincent another kiss. "I've got to go now. I'll see you in the morning."  
  
Vincent fumed as he watched Angel leave with Reno. Before the door shut behind them, Reno turned back and stuck his tongue out at Vincent.  
  
Tifa smiled to herself at seeing Vincent turn red in anger. "Typical dad."  
  
He glared at Tifa. "What the Hell is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"It means that no matter who she choose to live with, you'd disapprove." Tifa smiled, finding it cute that Vincent was reacting this way.  
  
"Yeah, well I hated that dumb fuck a long time before I even knew I had a daughter." Vincent sank down into his pillow.  
  
"Whoa there, Vincent. Calm down. Angel's a smart girl." Tifa laughed.  
  
"She must be a genius to be able to find some sort of redeeming quality in Reno." He pouted. 


	20. Trust

Guilt's Cost: Part XX

Trust

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The next morning, Dr. Arlin gave Tseng a thorough evaluation, seeing exactly what the result of his attack had been. After a barrage of tests, she sat next to Tseng to discuss her plan.

"Tseng, you are going to be fine, I don't think you need surgery for your heart, yet." She said, folding his chart in her lap.

"So when can I get back to work?" With his job being his first love, Tseng was anxious to get back in the saddle.

"Oh no you don't!" Dr. Arlin folded her arms across her chest. "We've been friends for a long time, right?"

Tseng nodded. She had saved his life and that of his agents countless times over the years.

"So you know that I am aware how important your business is to you, correct?" She leaned forward.

Again he nodded.

"Therefore you'll know that I am dead serious when I say that you need to take some time off and rest." She reached out and touched his hand.

Tseng looked disappointed. "How long are we talking?"

"Three weeks." She said flatly.

"One." He replied.

"This isn't negotiable, Tseng." She frowned at him. "If you come under too much stress too soon your next attack may very well kill you."

"One week off." Tseng stated again.

Knowing that he wasn't going to give up, she shortened his sentence. "Fine, how about two?"

He narrowed his eyes, and thought for a second. "Fine, two."

"Here's the catch." Dr. Arlin had saved the worst for last. "I want this to be a real vacation for you, therefore you will leave the base."

Tseng's expression fell. "Leave? And where would you have me go?"

"I don't really care, preferably as far from here as possible." She rose from her seat. "You need to stay here for observation for a few more days, but after I release you from this hospital, you are to leave, and I don't want to see you back until those two weeks are up. Not one day sooner."

Tseng rolled his eyes. "I didn't become boss so that I could be ordered around."

"Your life is on the line here, Tseng." She hooked his chart back to the end of the bed. "Why don't you go home for awhile?"

Tseng did still have some relatives living in Wutai, and decided that it might not be such a bad thing. "Maybe I will."

"Good." She seemed pleased with his agreement. "Now, if you don't mind, I need to go check on Vincent."

She neared Vincent's bed and was surprised to see him awake. She was even more surprised when he sat up. "You shouldn't do that! Lay back down right now!"

Vincent looked at her slightly confused. "Why? It doesn't hurt."

Dr. Arlin knew that there was no way he should be able to move like he just had that soon after his surgery. She watched in amazement as Vincent pulled the dressing away from his chest; exposing what appeared to be a completely healed incision line. 

He held the bandage out to her with his claw. "You want this back?"

She came closer, examining where the incision should have been. All that remained as evidence was the tags of the sutures she had placed the night before standing out against the black of the reptile skin. "This isn't possible…we opened your chest up last night! You can't be this healed already!"

He grew annoyed at the bandage binding his right arm and shoulder and began to tear at it with his cybernetic arm. "You guys really tied me up."

She couldn't even bring herself to protest as he freed his arm. There was no way she could accept his having healed so quickly. Once Vincent tossed the second bandage to the ground, he stretched out his right arm, smiling as he realized he still had full use of it.

Tifa walked into the room, back from having finished her breakfast. She had brought back a carton of orange juice for Vincent, but once she saw him sitting there, apparently healed, she dropped the box unconsciously to the floor. "Vincent?"

He smiled at her. "Morning, Tifa. Spilled your juice."

She bent down and picked up the leaking carton, carrying it with her as she made her way to his side. "What's going on? What happened to your injuries?"

Dr. Arlin looked at Tifa. "That's what I'd like to know."

Vincent cocked his head, attempting to see the tube that still protruded from the side of his chest. "Hey Doc, mind getting this?"

Dr. Arlin went and retrieved some suture scissors. She then came to Vincent's side and examined the chest tube. It had quit draining completely, and she saw no reason why she couldn't remove it, although theoretically it was still too early.

She snipped the sutures holding it in and prepared to pull it out. "All right, this is going to hurt."

Vincent looked over at Tifa with panicked eyes. She at once came to him and held his hand.

Seeing that he was holding onto Tifa for dear life, she slipped out the tube in one fluid motion.

Vincent closed his eyes as she did this, quelshing the urge to scream. After a few moments, the pain faded and he looked over to where it had been.

Dr. Arlin hated to inform Vincent that she would have to close the wound. "Okay, I need to put just a few sutures in the skin there so you don't get air in your chest."

Vincent shook his head. "No, I want Tifa to do it."

The doctor looked at Tifa over the rim of her glasses. "Tifa, I'm not inclined to argue with Mr. Valentine, so if you can suture, you are more than welcome to do it."

Tifa remembered the time seven years before when she had sutured a laceration on Vincent's head after he had fought with Cid, and had been pushed by him into a wall. That had been the last time she had put sutures in anyone. She figured it would come back to her soon enough, and if it would make Vincent feel better, she couldn't refuse. "Sure, I'd love to."

The doctor brought Tifa over a small suturing tray and walked out of the room, to go record her medical findings on Vincent. "I'll be back."

Tifa examined the instruments given to her for a moment, as Vincent laid down on his side so she could get to the wound. She picked up the small syringe of lidocaine and prepared to inject the area with it. "All right, I'm going to numb it. You ready?"

"Yeah." Vincent sighed reluctantly.

She drove the needle into his skin, making certain to use enough so Vincent wouldn't feel anything. Tifa felt bad as he grunted quietly from the burn of the lidocaine, but within a few seconds, he could no longer feel anything.

Tifa put the syringe down, and readied to scrub the area. "You doing okay, Vincent?"

He looked briefly back at her. "Yeah, done yet?"

She smiled at him. "No, I haven't started. Lay down."

Vincent quietly obeyed, looking forward again. Tseng was laying right in his line of sight, and he realized his brother was awake. "Hey Tseng."

Tseng waved back. "Hey yourself. Getting sutures again?"

"Yup." Vincent grinned. He had forgotten how much he had missed his brother over all those years. "Doing okay?"

Tseng nodded. "I think I'll live. I see you completely healed overnight. I'm impressed."

Vincent raised his eyebrows. His remarkable recovery didn't seem that remarkable to him. He had become accustomed to his miraculous ability to heal, but realized that it was probably a shock to those around him. "It would seem that there was one perk to Hojo's meddling."

Vincent wasn't aware that his ability to heal so quickly was a result of the demon within him, otherwise he certainly wouldn't joke about it.

With Vincent's back to her, Tifa noticed that the area of reptilian skin had seemed to have grown a little, now wrapping around to his back slightly, right above the waist of the boxers he was in. She didn't say anything, not wanting to upset him. The truth of it was that every time Chaos took control of Vincent's body, more of his flesh became that of the demon, and less human.

As she sewed him, she came to realize exactly how significant it was that he had asked _her_ to do it. After all the fear that he had displayed the day before, she knew that his trust for her must be deep. Tifa was fairly certain that if she hadn't been there, this wound would not have gotten sutured shut. She was genuinely touched by this, knowing this was his way of asking her to take care of him from now on. If he could put aside his phobia of medical procedures for Tifa, he must truly love her.

Tifa put down her needle holders and suture. "All right, you lived."

Vincent sat up, looking at his chest, and the tags of the sutures that protruded from his healed incision. "Uh, can you get rid of these?"

Tifa smiled, and picked up the suture scissors from her pack. "Yeah."

She bent down before him and started removing the tiny strings one at a time. Vincent had some inappropriate thought as she hovered so close to him, and had to start fighting the urge to become aroused.

Tifa felt the sudden air of tension descend upon him and she smiled to herself, knowing what the problem was. Just to make it more difficult for him she reached down with one hand and gave his metallic thigh a small tickle.

"Tifa!" Vincent reprimanded under his breath. "You're not helping! Tseng's right over there in case you forgot."

She smiled at him as she pulled out the last suture from his chest. Jokingly, she winked over at Tseng. "Oh, I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Vincent wasn't able to bite his tongue quick enough, and an off color comment escaped. "Yeah, you wouldn't bother him or turn him on, but I don't want him to get off on watching me."

Tseng perked up. He may have been getting old, but his hearing was exceptional. "Vincent! That was not appropriate."

Vincent cringed, knowing that his brother was sensitive about his sexuality. 

Tifa gave Vincent a good 'you're in trouble' look. "Busted."

Dr. Arlin choose that moment to walk back into the room, breaking the awkward silence. She came over and examined Tifa's work, before giving an approving nod. "Very good, dear."

Tifa beamed with pride. "Thanks, Cloud always said I…"

The doctor waited for Tifa to finish her sentence, but she didn't. "What was that?"

Tifa hung her head; her unintentional mention of Cloud had hit her hard. "Nothing, never mind."

The doctor clearly saw Tifa's sadness, and decided not to hold back her good news. "Well, I just got off the phone with some of the doctors I work with topside."

Tifa perked back up. "Oh?"

"Yes." The doctor smiled. "They agree with me that your implant can be removed with a minimal risk to you. In light of Vincent's recovery, I think you can have the procedure done as soon as you would like."

Tifa clapped her hands together, and looked brightly at Vincent. "Oh, did you hear that? They can get it out!"

Vincent reached out and grasped her hand, also pleased at this news. "So when do you want to do it, Tifa?"

"Today!" Tifa squeaked in excitement.

The doctor shook her head. "Tifa, you've eaten this morning, haven't you?"

She cocked her head to the side, realizing that she would have to be fasted before surgery. "Oh, yeah, I did."

Dr. Arlin shrugged. "Well don't forget and do that again tomorrow morning, or we won't be able to do it."

Tifa again bubbled with glee. "Vincent! I'm getting rid of the bug tomorrow!"

He smiled at her, hiding his concern over her going under anesthesia. "Good, then we can travel together as we please."


	21. Approval

Guilt's Cost: Part XXI

Approval

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa retrieved Vincent's clothes so that he could get dressed. Once this was done, he walked over to the bed where his brother was still laying. Vincent bent down and gave Tseng a short hug.

Tseng smiled at Vincent. "Thanks for saving me yesterday."

Again, Vincent searched his memory for any recollection of the event, but found none. "I don't remember anything after the explosion."

"Well, you did." He continued to smile. "So, Tifa's going to have the surgery tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Vincent looked over his shoulder to where Tifa was standing, talking to the doctor about the details of the procedure. "She's really excited about it."

"I can see that." Tseng could see the elation on the girl's face.

Vincent suddenly turned back to Tseng, his expression dead serious. "Why didn't you say anything about Angel living with Reno?"

He recoiled from his brother's clear agitation. "Because I knew it would piss you off. I've always known you disliked the man, and I didn't want to put a damper on your day."

Vincent crossed his arms over his chest. "You're damn right it pissed me off. The thought of that jerk being around my daughter makes me sick. How long has it been going on?"

Tseng furrowed his brow in thought. "A long time."

"How long?" Vincent wanted specifics.

"Since a few months after she came here." Tseng didn't want to give Vincent much more detail, knowing it was something he should really discuss with Angel. "Look, talk to her about it. I'm sure when she gives you her explanation you'll understand better."

Vincent sighed. "You know, as her uncle, and someone that would have been aware of my wishes, I should have hoped you would have kept him away from her."

Tseng shook his head. "Vincent, she is a grown woman, and I have no place telling her who to fall in love with and neither do you, even if you are her father. I assure you, I didn't act as any sort of match maker and push them together, they decided it on their own. Reno, for as big and asshole as he can be is really a better man than you think."

Vincent threw his hair over his shoulder, looking up at the ceiling in disgust. He was pretty certain that his opinion of Reno was dead on. "Urgh, whatever."

Tseng shook his head in amusement as Vincent walked away. He knew the story behind Reno and Angel, and knew that once Vincent heard it for himself he would relax on his disapproval of Reno.

As Vincent reached Tifa, the doctor was ending her conversation. Dr. Arlin then turned to Vincent. "My associates would be very interested in studying you sometime. They don't believe the story of how quickly you healed. If we could figure out what mechanism you use to-"

Vincent raised his hand, cutting her off. "I am sorry, Doctor, but I will have to decline. There is no way that I could tolerate being 'studied'."

The doctor looked immediately disappointed. "That's too bad. We stand to learn a lot."

"Well, whenever I die, you feel free to cut me open and study away." Vincent said, dead serious. "Until then, I will not be a guinea pig."

"All right then, I'll get the medical release ready for you. You sign it, and your body is mine when you croak." The doctor said as she walked away. By her tone, Vincent wasn't quite sure if she was joking or not.

Tifa slapped him in the arm. "Way to tick off the doctor the day before I have surgery. She probably just wants some x-rays or something."

He frowned down at her. "No one studies me. I've done that before, and it didn't work out too well for me." 

Tifa's eyes were drawn to his claw as it was raised for her inspection. Vincent wasn't kidding, and she knew it. "Sorry, I just forget."

He looked away from her, his expression not softening. "Well maybe you shouldn't."

Tifa bit her bottom lip, realizing how deeply she had offended him. "God Vincent, I said I was sorry."

Hearing the pain in her voice, he turned his gaze back to her. Vincent managed a weak smile. "It's not you, I was already mad about something else."

Tifa narrowed her eyes. "So, you're taking out your anger about Reno dating Angel on me?"

Vincent's eyes went wide. "You pegged it, way to go."

"Well, don't do that, it's annoying. You need to learn to stay mad at the people that make you mad and not turn it on me." Tifa feigned anger, but it didn't work to well.

Vincent put his arm around her and pulled her close. To his surprise she buried her face in his shirt and began to cry. "What's wrong?"

She pounded her fist into his chest. "I was so scared last night…when they first brought you in, I thought you were dead…"

"Oh Tifa…" He held her closer, stroking her hair with his human hand.

"They wouldn't let me see you, and no one would tell me anything." She placed her arms behind his back. "Then they asked what my blood type was and took a bunch of it to give to you. Even after they let me see you, the way you were so scared, I just knew I was losing you. I waited for you to come out of surgery, praying that you would be okay. I stayed up all night, afraid that if I fell asleep, I would wake up and you would be…"

He rested his cheek on her head as she broke down, unable to finish her sentence. "I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for you. You kept me from losing my mind as they worked on me, and I knew I had to get better, so I could stay with you."

She smiled up at him weakly, eyes red from her exhaustion and tears. "Vincent, I'm so afraid of losing you."

Vincent knew that the trauma of having lost Cloud had really dented her psyche. He wished to take that fear out of her, but knew only time could do that. As he stared back at Tifa, he came to realize exactly how stressed Tifa had been over the last several hours and what a toll it had taken on her. She was physically and emotionally spent, and it broke his heart. "Tifa, I think maybe we should go back to our room so you can rest."

She nodded in acceptance. "Okay, I'm so tired."

Vincent took her hand and led her back to their quarters. He guided her to the bed where she immediately laid down. He sat next to where she lay and bent to give her a kiss. He tried to pull away afterward, but she grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him back down for another.

After a few moments, she finally let him go. He placed his hand on her cheek. "You need to sleep now."

She faked a pout for a few seconds before rolling over onto her side. Vincent drew the blankets up over her. He scanned the room, and saw his holster lying on the dresser. He walked over, seeing that his Death Penalty was strapped tightly into it. Somehow through all the confusion during his escape, he had instinctively managed to put it back.

Vincent picked up the weapon, smiling to himself as he inspected it. _I must be destined to have this gun, _he thought.

When he looked over at Tifa again, he saw that she was already asleep. Vincent looked at her lovingly, his feelings for her now even deeper after his brush with death the night before. She had been so brave to stand by him all night, and to have given her own blood to replace his. This girl never ceased to amaze him.

Vincent was pulled out of his reverie by a knock at the door. He made his way over and opened it.

Angel flew in and wrapped her arms around him, planting a kiss on his cheek. "The doctor told me that you are completely healed, so I had to come see for myself. You had us all scared!"

Vincent stepped back from her, and motioned for her to sit on the couch. She did as instructed, and he landed next to her. He pointed over at Tifa, so that Angel would know to keep her voice down.

Angel smiled to see Tifa resting. "Poor Tifa. She had a hard time."

Vincent nodded. "Yeah, I've heard. Angel, thanks for taking care of me on the helicopter."

She was surprised he remembered that. "It's my job. I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"Think nothing of it." Vincent tried to hide his embarrassment over his behavior. "Where did you learn to do what you did?"

Angel stared down at the floor. "Hojo programmed all kinds of stuff into me while I was in the acceleration chamber including medical skills. I often render treatment on the return trips of missions. Someone always manages to get banged up."

Vincent couldn't wait any longer to address the issue of Reno. "Angel, tell me about Reno."

She blushed, knowing that Vincent disapproved. "What do you want to know?"

"Why him?" Vincent bit his tongue not to relate his true feelings about the man.

She nodded knowingly. "It's complicated, you sure you want to hear it?"

"Yes." Vincent said flatly.

"Okay." She settled in for the long haul. "Then you get to hear the story about me being rescued from the lab. I had only been out of the accelerator for a few weeks when Hojo did a genetic profile on me. Once he realized that you were not only my father, but Sephiroth's as well, he ordered me to be destroyed. In his rage, he beat me severely before locking me back in my cell to await my punishment. I didn't really understand what was going on at the time; my mind was still trying to adjust to life outside the accelerator. My life, for however short it had been, had been daily testing at the hands of Hojo and his men. And I would be lying to you if I said that scientific experimentation was all I was subjected to by him."

Vincent closed his eyes for a moment, knowing exactly what she was talking about. The memories of Hojo collecting 'samples' from him ripped through his mind. The humiliation he had felt as the scientist had violated him in the most personal ways stabbed his heart. Although the abuse he had suffered was horrible, he was aware that what she had probably been though had been worse. "He touched you like that?"

She hung her head in embarrassment. "Yes, all the while saying that he needed to make sure I was going to be good enough for his dear Sephiroth. Even in my ignorance I knew that what he was doing to me was wrong. But the day I was to be destroyed, there was a commotion in the lab as the ASRIO team came in to rescue me. I couldn't see much from my cell, only hearing the gunfire and screaming. Then, Reno came around the corner. He was the first person I saw who didn't work in the lab. He opened my cell and came in. I cowered in the corner, terrified at this new person. He came over and picked me up in his arms, carrying me out. All I could do was lay in his arms shivering in fear. I was taken by him to a helicopter. As we flew to this base, he held me the entire time, whispering to me to not be afraid, that he wasn't going to hurt me, and that I was going to be safe from then on. He was the first person to ever tell me the truth."

Vincent found it hard to accept this never before seen side of Reno. "He treated you with respect?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Very much so. He wouldn't even turn me over to Tseng when we got onto the chopper. He knew that I was by that time less frightened by him than anyone else, so he held me close for the entire ride. Once we were here, I was given a room, where Tseng spent a lot of time trying to get me to relax and understand why I was here. Even then, Reno would come by every day and sit with me, sometimes he would never say a word, just sitting next to me, wanting me to know that he cared."

"He never tried any of his man whore tricks on you?" Vincent asked, disbelieving that Reno could show such restraint.

"Look, I know that Reno is a pig, but back then when he knew I was scared and vulnerable, he didn't try anything more than to hold my hand or put his arm around my shoulders, and not in his 'trying to get a little tit' sort of way." She smiled.

Vincent actually laughed out loud. "Really?"

Angel nodded. "Really. Eventually, I came out of my shell realizing that I was in a better place, learning who I was and that I was a real person, not the soulless drone that Hojo had wanted me to be. Reno and I became friends. I would watch him pull his cheap lines on any woman that walked by, but he never approached me like that. Even now, when he does joke around in his piggish way, I know he's not serious. He asked me if I would want to live with him, and I accepted. I felt safe with him from the first day, and I have ever since. That is why I love him."

Vincent sat in silence for a few moments, not knowing what to say. It was now clear to him that there was more to Reno than he had ever given him credit for. "I see. He has taken care of you, and I owe him for looking after you for me. But don't expect me to get all lovey for him too. He and I still have some long standing personal issues that aren't going to go away."

"Look, I don't expect you to suddenly like him, I just would ask that you respect the fact that I do. So please, don't try to strangle him again." She grinned.

Vincent suddenly flushed in embarrassment. "Oh, he told you about that?"

"It was a little obvious from the marks all over his neck. Either you had picked him up with your claw or he had been getting hickeys from a blender, and I don't think he's that much of a pervert." Angel laughed.

Vincent put his arm around her. "I promise I will not try to kill Reno again, as long as you are going out with him."

Angel raised her left hand, flashing a small diamond ring. "Well, I'm going to be going out with him for a while I'm afraid. He proposed two months ago. I told him I wanted to wait until my father came."

Vincent smacked himself in the forehead. "You've got to be kidding me. You're going to marry him?"

"Yes." Angel said proudly.

"Oh dear God." Vincent sighed to himself.


	22. Hidden Treasure

Guilt's Cost: Part XXII

Hidden Treasure

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Porter stood up from his desk and stretched. He had spent the better part of the afternoon filling out Hojo's expense reports from his morning shopping spree. The twenty-six year old man didn't think this was the kind of work suited to a Turk, but since he had been assigned as Hojo's personal escort, he had to do whatever the insane man requested.

"I've got to figure out who I pissed off to get this gig." Porter mumbled to himself as he closed the report file and picked it up. 

It was finally time for the Turk to sign off for the day, and he wanted desperately to get out of the Shin Ra building before Hojo found some other menial task for him. He slipped out of his office and into the hall, walking briskly toward the elevators. All that stood between him and freedom was his stop at the accounting department to hand in his report. As he waited anxiously for the elevator to arrive, he kept looking over his shoulder making sure that Hojo was no where around.

Just as the doors opened, Porter's heart sank as he felt the old man's gnarled fingers grab his arm.

"Where do you think you're going?" Hojo hissed.

Porter turned to face the grotesque man. "I was going to go turn in your expense reports, Sir."

Hojo narrowed his yellowed eyes. "Then you were thinking of leaving, I suppose?"

"Well, it is five o'clock, Sir." Porter said with a slightly guilty tone to his voice. He dreaded angering the scientist, fully aware of what tended to happen to those who did. The rumors that ran through the staff at the Shin Ra lab were the things that nightmares were made of. There was even a tale about a Turk being taken by the scientist some years before. Everyone's story about what exactly Hojo had done to the man was a little different, but the underlying message was clear; no one, not even a Turk was safe from Hojo. Porter had every reason to be afraid. "If there is something else you wish me to do though, I would be happy to oblige."

Hojo smiled, smelling the fear wash over Porter. But Hojo thought himself a fair man if nothing else, and decided to let him off on time for once. "Well, there is one little thing, but it won't delay you from your evening of leisure too much."

Porter held his breath, knowing that nothing Hojo ever asked him to do was 'little'. "Yes, Sir?"

"After you get those reports to accounting, I have some things I would like taken down to the incinerator." Hojo thought this was the type of humbling chore that would let the Turk know exactly who was in charge.

"Oh, all right." Porter hated going down into the basement to the incinerator, but it would give him a chance to scavenge through the trash for any interesting components. He loved messing with the small bits of cast off technology that he found, and he had become quite adept at repairing the electronic items he had collected.

Hojo nodded, satisfied that the Turk was still very much aware of his place in the Universe. He detested the Turks as an institution and had ever since his run in with Mr. Valentine some years before. President Harwin however insisted that all top members of Shin Ra have a Turk guard assigned to them, and Hojo had been unfortunate enough to get Porter. Hojo found him a weak and mentally feeble individual but at least one that was easily kept in line. Then again, Mr. Valentine had once seemed that way as well, and just look at the trouble he had caused. "Good then. I will see you tomorrow, Porter. Be here at six thirty, I have some business in New Nieblhim that I need to get to as soon as possible."

Porter swallowed his protest at having to arrive to work two hours early. "Very good, Sir. Six thirty it is."

Hojo grunted as he walked away. "Good night."

Porter shuddered as he finally stepped into the elevator. He hit the button for the ninth floor where the accounting offices were. On the ride up, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He hated Hojo with every fiber in his being, and dreamed of the day when he could be released from this baby sitting assignment. Being one of the President's hit men was his real ambition. That is what being a Turk was all about, but he knew that position was reserved for only the best amongst their ranks. His friend Rude was one such lucky Turk, but he had been in the business since the days before Meteor thus giving him a huge advantage in seniority.

After the reports were turned in, Porter returned to the lab floor, finding a cart full of trash waiting for him right outside the laboratory doors. He pulled the heavy cart onto the freight elevator, and jabbed the button to the basement level. As he rode down, he scanned the cart for anything interesting, but it was very full, and he would have to wait until he dumped it onto the trash heap in the basement before his real inspection could begin.

The doors opened into the darkness of the basement. Porter hauled the cart behind him until he reached the trash heap. He upturned the cart pouring its contents onto the floor. The night janitor had just started his shift and was preparing to start shoveling debris into the incinerator after taking a swig from a flask. 

When he noticed Porter, he smiled. "Howdy, how's it going?"

Porter returned the smile. He had come to like the drunk. He had felt bad for the janitor when he had heard that the ASRIO team had attacked him the day before. "I'm all right, yourself?"

"Little sore, nothing too bad." The janitor dropped his shovel. "Wait here, I found another Mako battery a few days ago."

Porter perked up to hear this. He had been looking for Mako batteries for a few weeks now to finish his latest project. As he waited, he heard a sound from the pile he had just dumped. Porter knelt down and started pushing through the tangle of wires and metal, curious to find what had made the sound.

Upon finding what had drawn his attention, his expression turned to absolute pity. "Oh no, what has he done?"

Laying before him was what at one time had been a dog. Hojo had removed its legs and most of its body, having replaced the missing parts with cybernetic amendments. The dog was now more robot than animal, only recognizable from its head. Its limbs flinched weakly as it tried to move, but Hojo had removed its bio-electrical converters before throwing it away, making the animal unable to power or move its body. All the animal could do was blink up at the Turk pleadingly as it lay helpless.

The janitor returned and knelt down beside Porter, surprised to see what was there. "What is that? A Doberman?"

Fighting back tears, Porter reached out and touched the dog's head. "I think it was, at least before Hojo got to it."

The janitor stood and retrieved his shovel. He made his way back over to Porter and the dog. "Stand back, son. I'll put it out of its misery."

"No!" Porter shielded the dog with his own body. As much as a dislike as Porter had for humans, he loved animals and couldn't stand the thought of seeing the dog bludgeoned to death with a shovel. He felt sick inside, and knew that he had to help the animal. "I can fix it."

The janitor set his shovel back down. "Son, do you have any idea what to do for it?"

Porter nodded. "Yeah, it needs bio-electrical converters. I have a ton of them at home. He'll be okay if I can get those working for him."

"You don't know what that dog is for, Porter." The janitor looked disdainfully at his young friend. "How do you know that once that thing is put back together it won't rip your throat out?"

"I don't, but I have a pretty good feeling that it won't." Porter scooped up the limp animal in his arms and started for the elevator.

The janitor slipped the battery he had found into Porter's coat pocket before he got on the elevator. "Well, good luck. I hope you can fix it up."

Porter walked through the lobby with the cybernetic dog in his arms, getting odd looks from those around. When he finally got to his car, he kicked open the passenger side door then heaping the dog into the seat. His arms burned terribly from having carried the nearly one hundred pound creature all that way, and he shut the door with his hip.

He drove to his small house in the suburbs of Midgar, the dog staring at him with its dark brown eyes the entire time. Every once in a while, Porter would reach over and pat the dog on the head, hoping desperately that power converters would be all the animal needed.

He got the dog home and laid it on the kitchen floor. In the bright light, he could finally give the animal a thorough evaluation. It was in fact a Doberman as the janitor had speculated, and it was also a male. Stamped onto the dog's rear flank was a serial number, and Porter swept away the grime that covered it. The number had been hastily scratched away before the dog had been discarded, and all Porter could make out was a 'D'.

"D?" Porter said to the dog, seeing that the few inches of tail the dog had wagged at hearing this. "All right, then. D it is."

Porter spent the entire night working on the dog, installing new converters and some other components. Finally, at some point around three in the morning, Porter fell asleep on the kitchen floor next to the animal.

Porter was awakened the next morning by a blast of warm air in his face. He opened his eyes seeing the dog standing before him, staring into his face. He shrugged off the sluggishness of sleep and sat up. He smiled when he saw the dog was apparently able to move on its own. "D, you're fixed!"

The dog again wagged the stump of its tail, whining slightly.

Porter was pleased with his success and happy to have saved the animal. He looked over at the clock that hung by his kitchen table. He shot to his feet. "Oh shit, six fifteen! I'm gonna be late!"

He looked down seeing that the clothes he had worn all night were terribly wrinkled and he flew to his room to get something else. He flung open his closet, finding himself faced with a dozen navy blue suits. He pulled one out and dressed hastily. His shoulder length brown hair was mussed, but he had no time to attend to it. He grabbed his keys and ran out the front door, followed closely by the dog. As he opened the car door, the dog jumped inside. Porter, in complete frustration decided that it would take too long to take the dog back into the house and lock him in. "Fine, looks like you're going to work with me."


	23. Surgery

Guilt's Cost: Part XXIII

Surgery

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa sat with a clear expression of nervousness on the hospital bed. Vincent stood beside her, holding her hand. Dr. Arlin had taken a blood sample to see if Tifa was going to be able to withstand the surgery today. The doctor was a little reluctant to do the surgery only two days after Tifa had given blood, but she wouldn't take no for an answer.

Dr. Arlin returned with a smile on her face. "Good news, Tifa. Your blood tests came back fine. The nurse is going to come in and get your I.V. started, okay?"

Tifa nodded shallowly, the fear of the procedure setting in. "Okay."

The doctor left, and Tifa and Vincent found themselves alone for a minute.

Vincent was pained to see the fear in her. "Are you doing all right?"

"Yeah, I think so. Just nervous, that's all." She replied. "You'll be there when I'm done, right?"

Vincent smiled at her. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

A nurse came in and brought over a tray to get Tifa's I.V. in. Vincent grew tense as the nurse prepared to place it in Tifa's arm. Tifa felt his sudden tension. "Vincent, relax. No one is going to do anything to you."

He looked away, having to fight the urge to push the nurse away from her. "I can't watch, sorry."

Tifa was amused by Vincent's inability to stomach the nurse's actions. The nurse already had the I.V. in her arm and was taping it in. "It's over, Vincent."

He finally faced her again. "You were so brave, you're going to get a treat after this."

Tifa laughed at his comment. She was fairly sure that it had hurt him a lot more than her. 

The nurse picked up a syringe and placed its needle into the end of Tifa's I.V. catheter. "All right, Ms. Lockhart, this is going to help you relax so it'll be easier to anesthetize you."

Tifa placed her head back on the pillow and felt the drug enter her system, slowly making her tired. She looked over at Vincent, feeling as though she would fall asleep at any minute. "Hey, Vincent?"

He leaned closer, knowing that she was having a hard time talking now. "Yes?"

She smiled lazily. "I love ya."

He kissed her forehead and then stepped back. "I love you, too."

Tifa closed her eyes with the smile still on her face. The nurse hit a call button, and two other nurses appeared. The three of them then wheeled Tifa out of the room.

Vincent stood alone for a minute, staring at the door Tifa had just been taken through. He couldn't believe how well Tifa had managed herself before going under the knife. A sound from behind him drew his attention.

Tseng stood there, dressed in a suit after deciding that he'd had enough of the infirmary. "Tifa's underway, huh?"

Vincent cocked an eyebrow. "Did the doctor say that you could get out of bed?"

Tseng looked instantly guilty. "By the time she would have let me get up, I wouldn't remember how to walk. Besides, I have several things to attend to before being kicked out on the vacation she has ordered me on."

Vincent crossed his arms. "So, the doctor ordered a little R and R for you?"

He nodded. "Yes, two weeks worth."

"So, when are you leaving, and where are you going?" Vincent asked.

Tseng thought for a moment. He knew that Vincent hadn't visited any of their relatives in Wutai since before becoming a Turk. Tseng decided that he would take Tifa and Vincent with him, letting the destination be a surprise for them. "I will be leaving in a few days. If Tifa feels up to it, I want you two to come along with me. I think you might enjoy the trip."

Vincent noticed Tseng's attempt to dodge the issue of his destination. "Sure, we could go with you, but where are we going?"

Tseng smiled and shook his head. "It will have to be a surprise."

Vincent took several steps closer to his brother. Tseng noticed that his expression turned very serious.

Vincent dropped his gaze to the floor. "Tseng, do you know who Angel's mother was?"

Tseng raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Is that what you almost lost your life looking for on the computer in the lab?"

"Yes." Vincent replied. "But do _you_ know who it was?"

Tseng crossed his arms. "Why don't you tell me who you think it is first."

Caught a little off guard by his brother's retort, Vincent took a step back. "I didn't get far enough to find out specifically, but I have an idea."

"Who do you suspect?" Tseng knew he was frustrating his brother.

"All the document said was that it was an Ancient." Vincent hung his head. "I just don't know which Ancient it was, Aeris or her mother."

Tseng nodded. "Why do you care to know?"

Vincent didn't answer right away. "If it was Aeris, then I could tell Angel about her mother. I didn't know her that well, but at least then Angel would be aware of who both her parents were."

"I do know which it was, but I'm not sure you are ready." Tseng looked away from his brother. 

Vincent leaned closer. "What do you mean?"

Tseng shrugged. "If it was Aeris, would you tell Tifa?"

Vincent was confused. "Yes."

"Although Angel wasn't conceived through a relationship between you and Aeris, don't you think that on some level it would bother Tifa?" Tseng sighed. "After all, Aeris was the one who Cloud fell out of love with Tifa for. And what if she developed some personal grudge against Angel for being Aeris's daughter?"

"Tifa is mature enough not to let that bother her, but from as much thought as you have put into this, I am going to have to assume that it was Aeris." Vincent's expression turned to sadness.

Tseng nodded shallowly. "It was."

He closed his eyes, trying to remember Aeris's face, but found it difficult. His heart had learned to fog over the memories of those who were gone, trying to save him from the pain of their loss. He had felt very little at the time of the girl's death. He hadn't been with the AVALANCHE group long at that point, and he had spent most of that time lost in his own misery over Lucretia and Sephiroth. Of the little that he could remember, he thought Aeris had been his polar opposite; always happy, optimistic, and forgiving. She never acknowledged her own pain, rather preferring to spend her time comforting others. Everything that Vincent wasn't, she was. He remembered a time shortly after he had been awoken out of stasis. He had left the group one evening to go get drunk, wishing to escape his misery for one night. As he sat drinking, Aeris came into the bar, having spent the better part of an hour searching for him. She sat beside him and put her arm around his shoulders, wishing to comfort him from whatever devil was gnawing at his soul.

"Hey Vincent, want some company?" She had asked in her lilting voice.

He had scowled over at her, pushing her arm off him with his claw. "Had I wanted company, I would not have left the team, would I?"

Unfazed by his cold tone, she folded her hands on the bar before her. "What ya drinking?"

He barely responded, merely clicking one of his claws upon the surface of the vodka bottle before him.

"Oh, is it any good?" She asked, leaning closer.

He glanced at her sideways, annoyed by her continued presence. With his cybernetic arm he pushed the bottle toward her. "Is this what you want?"

She picked up the bottle, looking a little awkward doing so. "You don't have a cold or anything, do you?"

Vincent puffed. "No, I do not get colds."

"Good, I would hate to get sick, although I guess it is alcohol and would be self sterilizing even if you were-" Her smiled flickered a bit as Vincent cut her off.

"Shut up and drink it, or just go away; the choice is yours." He flicked a stray peanut across the counter, wishing she would choose the latter.

Aeris sighed at her inability to break through his shell. Resolving that her previous approach wouldn't work, she brought the bottle to her lips and took a swig.

Although he didn't display it, he was amused to see her struggle to swallow the fiery drink. 

She set the bottle back down and pushed it back in front of Vincent. "Gosh, that stuff is awful, if you drink to much it will kill you."

Vincent flatly replied. "If only I could be so lucky."

Aeris was deeply pained by his attitude. Not because his rude persona hurt her feelings but rather because she could see that he was hurting himself. "Vincent, what's it gonna take?"

He took a long drink from the bottle, knowing that if he was going to have to talk to her, he needed to be drunk. "What do you want, Aeris?"

"Just to know that you're going to be okay." She said meekly. "You're always so sad, and I wish I could help you."

Vincent finally turned to her, a cruel expression upon his face. "You really want to help me? Then you take back the last thirty years, and let me start my life over. Let Lucretia love me back as much as I loved her. Kill Hojo before he injected the child she was carrying with Jenova cells. Let my parents still be alive and give me back the body I once had. Tear the demon from my soul and wash the blood from my hands. Can you do that, Aeris? Because if you could, I would really appreciate it. But you can't, can you? You can't even make me forget all those things even for a moment, can you?" He turned away from her again. "No? Well, I didn't think so."

Aeris was hit hard by his words. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to maybe help you make some new memories, I guess."

"I have all the memories I need, Aeris." Vincent took another swig. "Say I did decide to humor you and talk about bullshit things. Do you know what would happen if I somehow decided that being around you might actually make me feel better? Do you have any idea at all?"

"N..No, I don't." She stammered, never having been faced with such a self-hating person.

He looked over to her, locking her in his gaze; narrowing his crimson eyes. "Well, I'll tell you what would happen. You would die some horrible death, that I would be solely responsible for, because that is what happens to people I like. So, if you want to live, I suggest you get the Hell away from me before I decided that I _do_ like you."

Aeris had gotten up and walked away from him with tears in her eyes and Vincent remembered feeling nothing as she did so. His words had later turned to be prophetic as he did come to secretly like her in a way, and how Sephiroth, his son, killed her.

Vincent was brought back to the present as his brother cleared his throat. "What are you thinking?"

Vincent opened his eyes and looked up. "Just thinking what a wonderful person she was, and what a horrible one I am."

Tseng reached out and placed a hand on Vincent's shoulder. "You are not."

"I was to her." Vincent regretted never having shown Aeris anything other than his mean side.

"Aeris was a special person, I cared for her very deeply." Tseng had a hint of a tear in his eye. "As I've told you before, I thought she was a treasure because of what she knew and could see that the rest of us couldn't. One of her gifts was to see the good in anyone, whether they liked it or not. You could have killed her yourself and she still would love you."

"I might as well have killed her." Vincent dropped his gaze again. "Sephiroth was my sin."

"You mean 'son'." Tseng corrected. 

"Do I?" Vincent turned away from him. "In his case, they are one in the same."

"Help us stop Hojo from starting the Neo-Jenova Project, and perhaps you can right some things that you let get away from you in the past." Tseng said.

Vincent turned back to his brother again. "How far has he gotten with the new project?"

Tseng shrugged. "As far as we know, he is still culturing Jenova cells in anticipation of creating his new child. We do not believe that he had found his 'ideal' female donor as of yet."

"I see." Vincent thought for a moment. "We will have to kill him before he gets that far."

"That is why we need you, Vincent." Tseng said. "Hojo is very powerful these days. It will be difficult to kill him now that he has become completely integrated with the Jenova cells he put into his own body several years ago. It will not be easy, but now that you are with us, I feel like we might at lest have a chance."

Dr. Arlin walked into the room, still wearing her surgical gown. She came up to Vincent and handed him a small plastic vial. "I believe you should have the honors of destroying this."

"Is Tifa all right?" He asked, her safety foremost on his mind.

"Yes, she will be back in here shortly. My assistants are just getting her cleaned up." The doctor smiled. "It was surprisingly easy to get out. They didn't bother to bury it into her spinal cord, they just attached it to a vertebral disc."

Vincent sighed in relief, and opened the vial that the doctor had given him. He dumped the small black device into his cybernetic hand, admiring its sophistication for a moment before crushing it.

As it was disintegrated within his grasp, the doctor beamed. "That puts an end to Shin Ra's spying on you two."


	24. Against Medical Advice

Guilt's Cost: Part XXIV  
  
Against Medical Advice  
  
By Kristen Gupton-Williams  
  
Tifa was wheeled back into the room, and placed in a bed to recover. Not having been under anesthesia long, she started to come around quickly. Vincent sat on the edge of her bed holding her hand when her eyes finally opened.  
  
She looked up at him lazily. "Vince?"  
  
He leaned down toward her. "Hi Tifa. How are you feeling?"  
  
It took her a moment to respond. "Okay, I think. My back hurts a little, and I might throw up."  
  
Vincent sat back up after hearing her last comment, not wishing to be vomited upon. "Well, warn me if you do. They got the bug out."  
  
Tifa smiled. "Oh, that's good. Now we can do stuff, huh?"  
  
He was amused at her drugged tone. "Yes, we can do stuff. In fact, Tseng wants us to go with him on a little trip in a couple of days."  
  
Her response to this news was slightly over exaggerated. "Oh, great! Where we going?"  
  
"I don't know, he wants it to be a surprise." Vincent answered.  
  
Their attention was drawn to Tseng and Dr. Arlin as they argued amongst themselves.  
  
"Tseng, you are going to get back in that bed right now!" The Doctor said to her unruly patient.  
  
Tseng crossed his arms over his chest. "No offense, Doctor, but I find this infirmary a little dull. If I'm going to be thrown out of here for two weeks per your order, then there are some things that I need to attend to first."  
  
"Damn it, Tseng! I don't want you working! Any stress at all and you could be thrown into another attack!" The doctor's agitation was tangible. "Your heart is weak and needs to rest!"  
  
Tseng turned his back to her. "Look, I am sorry, but I can't just leave here for two weeks without making some preparations."  
  
Dr. Arlin puffed as she watched Tseng walk from the room. She faced Vincent and Tifa. "Your brother is a grade A pain in the ass, I want you to know."  
  
Vincent shook his head in amusement. Stubborn streaks ran in the family. "I am well aware of that, Doctor. Once a Vatasi has made up his mind, there is no changing it."  
  
"Ah, the family name." The doctor mused, rarely having heard it. She thought about Tseng's medical order to leave the base. "Will you be accompanying him on his vacation?"  
  
Vincent nodded. "Yes, he has asked us to go with him, but he's keeping the destination a surprise."  
  
She seemed pleased to hear this. "That makes me feel better. You need to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't try to come back to work before those two weeks are up. I have a convention to attend, and won't be able to make sure that he stays away."  
  
Tifa was becoming more coherent. "Where are you going, Doctor?"  
  
"They are holding the Medical Convention in Junon this year." She became excited at the thought of getting away. "It's the only time I get to see several of my colleagues and friends. It is more of a big party than anything else."  
  
Tifa was feeling good enough to try and sit up. Vincent helped her, cradling her in his arms.  
  
The doctor took this opportunity to come over and inspect Tifa's incision. She pealed back the gauze that had been taped over it.  
  
The incision was approximately three inches long, and ran down the middle of Tifa's lower back. A dozen sutures held it close.  
  
Vincent looked down at it over Tifa's shoulder, pained to see any sort of injury on her body. "How much is that going to hurt her when her drugs wear off?"  
  
The doctor replaced the bandage and took a step back. "Not bad. It's fairly superficial and I doubt she'll need anything for the pain. She may just wish to not have anything touch her on the back, so be careful when you hug her."  
  
Vincent agreed. "I will. She'll feel well enough to travel with Tseng in a few days, right?"  
  
"Certainly." The doctor walked over to the door. "I'm going to go work on some things, so call me if there are any problems." 


	25. Shipment

Guilt's Cost: Part XXV  
  
Shipment  
  
By Kristen Gupton-Williams  
  
Hojo sat listening to the tapes of Tifa's transmissions that had been captured before the bug had apparently quit working a few days before. The quality of the tapes wasn't particularly good, and Hojo felt some disdain at knowing that the model of implant that they had used wasn't up to par with the ones he had invented.  
  
Most of what he heard so far was nothing too surprising. The tale of Cloud's suicide was old news. The second Shin Ra had gotten news of that they had gone and claimed the ex-SOLDIER's body per Hojo's request. There was Vincent's statement that he had seen Tseng outside the window in New Niblehiem which was also no big surprise, as Shin Ra had known of the man's continued existence for some time now.  
  
Now though, he listened in on the conversation between Tifa and Vincent on the air ship. Hojo smiled to himself as he heard the anguish in Vincent's voice as he revealed his altered form to the girl.  
  
"Oh, Vincent, don't be ashamed of anything." Hojo said to no one. "You deserved everything that I did to you."  
  
Hojo turned up the volume as suddenly the talking stopped. As he realized that he was now listening to the sighs and moans of some sort of sexual encounter, he became aroused. Although this was the moment when Tifa was manually relieving Vincent's sexual tension, in Hojo's mind, the scenario he was convinced he was listening to was far more perverse. One would assume that he was being turned on by the thought of Tifa, but that wasn't the reality, it wasn't even close. He was by far more excited by the memories of having Vincent in his lab so long ago. It was the recollection of his moans and cries at the hands of the scientist as he was tortured and manipulated that gave Hojo his rush.  
  
The scientist reached down and shifted his erection beneath his clothing. "Vincent, I told you that it would still work, didn't I? I just can't believe that you would have the nerve to touch another woman after fucking my wife." Hojo growled as he continued to stimulate himself.  
  
As the tape continued, Hojo heard Vincent again start to talk to Tifa, letting him know that whatever they had been doing was over. Disappointed, Hojo brought both his hands back up to the tabletop, having not managed to finish what he had started.  
  
"Even now you still manage to make things difficult for me, Mr. Valentine." He mumbled, awaiting any more useful information to be uttered on the tape. What he then heard drew his attention. He rewound the tape, listening again as Vincent's voice spoke softly.  
  
"Tifa, I love you." The tape cracked.  
  
Hojo stopped the tape and stood up, shaking in his excitement. The ultimate revenge on Vincent Valentine formulated itself in his mind. He ran from the room and toward the lab, almost tripping in his haste. He flew over to the refrigeration unit in the lab and flung open the door. In the back of the cooler was a wall holding thousands of tiny vials. He scanned over them until he found the one marked Lockhart, Tifa.  
  
This vial contained a small tissue sample that had been taken from her during her surgery to remove her dead child from her womb. He took it up in his gnarled fingers and made his way over to a large analyzer.  
  
After turning the machine on, he dropped the vial into the loading port. He sat impatiently in front of the machine until a graph came up on its screen. He narrowed his eyes as he studied the computer's analysis, a horrible smile coming to his lips as he came to a realization.  
  
"Ah, Mr. Valentine, you have a knack for being attracted to women of a high caliber, don't you?" He hissed between his teeth.  
  
Tifa was genetically the type of female he was looking for. Her genetic make up was perfect for the Neo-Jenova Project, and Hojo got goosebumps.  
  
The scientist reeled when he heard something behind him. He relaxed as he saw that it was Porter, accompanied by his dog. The Turk had taken to bringing D to work with him everyday. Hojo at first had seemed angry that Porter had 'stolen' the dog from the garbage, but quickly gave up caring once his attention was drawn to the fact that Cloud's body was up for grabs.  
  
"Sorry if I startled you, Sir." Porter said, his dog sitting at his feet.  
  
Had he not been so overjoyed at his recent discovery, Porter would have been in for a barrage of insults. "Quite all right, dear Porter. I was just checking something out."  
  
The sound of false kindness alerted Porter to the fact that Hojo was again up to no good. "I just came to let you know that the shipment from New Nibelhiem is here."  
  
"Ah, very good. I will go down to the warehouse and inspect it. Will you come with me?" The scientist asked.  
  
Porter remembered the trip he had made to the small village the day before. Hojo had disappeared into the Shin Ra mansion, ordering Porter to stay in the car. Several hours later, Hojo had come back out, too happy for the Turk's liking. He had no idea what Hojo had gone to New Niblehiem for, and going with him to the warehouse to finally discover what the trip was about got the better of him. "Yes, Sir."  
  
They made their way to the warehouse. Due to the late hour, most of the lights were off, and an eerie glow from the other end of the room drew them toward it. The glowing glass cylinder stood about seven feet high, and three wide. Plumes of frost drifted from its sides, obscuring what was inside. Hojo walked right up to it and wiped his hand across the surface, brushing away the frost revealing what was suspended inside.  
  
Porter couldn't believe his eyes. "Isn't that..?"  
  
Hojo sneered. "Yes, my dear Porter, it is Cloud Strife."  
  
"Oh my God." Porter was awed by the sight of the once proud warrior now hanging motionless inside the life support chamber. "Is he dead?"  
  
Hojo licked his lips and smiled. "Yes and no."  
  
Porter was confused. "What?"  
  
"He is brain dead, he had died too long before our men got to him, but his body had not achieved cellular death yet." Hojo brushed more ice off the cylinder, exposing more of Cloud's form. "His body is very much alive still."  
  
"What are you going to do with him?" Porter asked in a whisper.  
  
Hojo turned to the young man, eyes gleaming. "He is to be the bait to lure in the fish." 


	26. Departure

Guilt's Cost: Part XXVI

Departure

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

For the next few days, Tifa and Vincent spent most of their time in the room they had been provided. Her recovery from the surgery was quick, and she was feeling more or less herself again. The incision was healing well, and the doctor had given her okay for Tifa to go with Vincent and Tseng on their trip. 

Tseng in the meanwhile did his best to keep working behind the doctor's back. He did most of his work via the computer terminal in his room, but there were other tasks around the base that occasionally required his personal presence. When Dr. Arlin had caught him on such errands, she would reprimand him loudly while escorting him back to his room.

Now Dr. Arlin was gone, having left that morning to attend her conference. Other doctors worked within the base, but none had the woman's nerve to challenge Tseng's authority.

Angel visited Vincent and Tifa often during this time, sometimes with Reno. Vincent did his best to tolerate his would be son in law, but at times found it hard, especially when Reno would do things to intentionally rile him.

Vincent was tempted to tell Tifa and Angel both about Aeris being the mystery woman that had helped create his daughter, but kept himself from doing so. In his heart he still bore the pain of his mistreatment of the Ancient when she had tried so hard to be his friend. Until he figured out how to deal with that, he would need to keep this piece of information between Tseng and himself.

Vincent had spent the morning packing the small number of belongings that he and Tifa had between them in preparation for the trip. Tifa had gone up out of the base with Angel to get some new clothes and personal effects. Vincent had wanted to go with them, but realized that he should let the two women have a chance to talk by themselves. Besides, going with two women shopping didn't really seem like something he would want to do.

Vincent had just finished latching the suitcase that Tseng had provided him when a knock came at the door. He opened it to find his brother standing there. "Morning, Tseng."

Tseng stood buttoning the sleeves to his suit. "Tsuvati, are you ready?"

Vincent cringed to hear his old name spoken, but would let his brother get away with it. "I think so, I'm just waiting for Angel and Tifa to get back. They've been gone for a few hours, I hope everything is all right."

Tseng smiled at his brother's concern. "They'll be fine. This town is filled with ASRIO members. Most of them hold down full time jobs up there and I can assure you of Tifa and Angel's safety. Besides, those are two women that would have absolutely no trouble defending themselves, but I'm sure I don't have to tell you that."

He nodded, knowing that his brother's words were true. "You're right, I guess I'm just a little paranoid about them."

"That is to be expected." Tseng smiled. "With one being your daughter and the other your lover, it is perfectly natural."

Hearing Tifa referred to as his 'lover' made Vincent blush slightly. "In any event, as soon as they get back, I'll be ready."

"Good. When you are ready, bring them up to the airstrip overhead. There is an airship waiting to take us to our destination. Reno and I will be onboard." Tseng said as he prepared to walk away.

Vincent reached out and grabbed his brother's arm. "What? Reno is going too?"

Tseng nodded. "Yes, I invited Angel and Reno. I knew that they could use a break as well and I could."

Vincent let his hand fall back to his side. "Some vacation. I have to spend two weeks with Reno? That is just marvelous."

Tseng frowned at his brother's sarcasm. "I really would have hoped that your opinion about Reno would have improved after talking to Angel about him."

Vincent flipped his cybernetic arm. "I can only be expected to put up with so much of him. Just because Angel loves him doesn't mean I'm going to. Besides, he still acts like an ass to me."

Tseng smiled. "Just keep in mind that the things he says are meant in jest. I will ask him to tone it down around you, though."

"Thanks." Vincent mumbled as he shut the door. He was genuinely disappointed that Reno was going, but he couldn't deny that it would be pleasant to have Angel along.

He laid down on the bed in an attempt to fight off the headache that he had gotten after hearing about Reno's invitation. Vincent was just about to drift off when the door to the room burst open.

Tifa and Angel entered the room giggling and talking, arms loaded with several shopping bags. As soon as they saw Vincent laying on the bed looking at them with what would have to be described as annoyance, they fell silent.

Tifa set down her bags and came to his side. "Vincent, is something wrong?"

He put his arm over his eyes, his headache still drilling at him. "No, my head just hurts."

"Do you want something for it?" Angel asked, coming up beside him as well.

He sighed and sat up; deciding that laying down wasn't going to help. "I'll be fine. Tseng and Reno are waiting for us on an airship."

Everyone present could tell by the way he had spat out Reno's name that he was irritated by the thought of the man.

Angel's expression at once turned sour. "If you don't want him to go, I'll ask him to stay behind, but he might not want me to go without him."

Vincent swallowed his pride in an attempt to spare his daughter's feelings. "I'm sorry, it's not about Reno going."

Angel and Tifa could both tell he was lying, but decided that they wouldn't push their luck by confronting him.

Tifa offered him her hand as he rose from the bed. He walked over and picked up the bags she had dropped as well as the suitcase he had waiting by the door. Vincent stepped out into the hall and looked back at his two companions. "Come on girls, they're waiting."


	27. Confession

Guilt's Cost: Part XXVII

Confession

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent led the way to the airship with Tifa and Angel following closely behind him. Once they boarded Tseng lead Vincent to a cabin in the back where he could put the luggage. After that, he and his brother went to the bridge where the others were gathered.

Tifa was standing at the head of the bridge, looking out over the airfield as the ship slowly started to lift up. Vincent went over to her and placed his human arm around her waist. Looking at her, he could see great sadness in her expression. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head slightly, not able to bear looking at him. "It just brings back memories to be standing here, it's just like the Highwind."

Vincent looked around, realizing that this ship was of the same make as Cid's stolen craft had been. "It is, isn't it?"

"Yeah." She rested her head on his shoulder. "Sometimes when I think of what it was like back then, I wonder at all the small things that happened that could have changed everything."

"Like what?" Vincent asked.

"Well, when we were in the Shin Ra mansion in Nibelhiem." She closed her eyes as she remembered. "Had we not found that key in the safe, and then figured out it was to the secret room in the basement, we never would have found you. Or what if we had gotten to the City of the Ancients just a few minutes earlier and had saved Aeris? What would have been different?"

Vincent shrugged, at a loss for an answer. "I don't know, but I would still be asleep in that stasis box or worse."

Tifa looked up at him, seeing that his expression lacked any joy. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring you down."

Vincent almost laughed. "As though anyone ever has to bring me down."

"You know," Tifa started, "you are a lot different now than you were back then."

"How so?" He asked.

"You're more personable to everyone." Tifa placed her head back on his shoulder. "You used to just give short answers to people when they talked to you, and you had a tendency to make others think they were bothering you."

Vincent cocked an eyebrow. "I was hurting too much to be distracted by casual conversation. Even though the events I was mourning had taken place twenty-seven years before, I had been asleep all that time, and to me it had just happened. It's hard to wake up one day and realize that your son is trying to destroy the world."

Tifa took a step back from Vincent. "What..?"

Vincent brought his human hand up and covered his mouth. Even when he had told Tifa the story about Angel's creation in the lab, he had left out the small detail of Sephiroth also being his child. He had managed to keep this secret between Tseng and himself. Now, it was out.

Tifa lost all the color in her face and took another step back. Her eyes filled with tears as she saw the absolute horror come across Vincent's face. "Sephiroth?"

Vincent turned his back to her, seeing that the others present on the bridge hadn't overheard their conversation. Tears were starting to fill his eyes, and he needed to escape before anyone could see.

Tifa watched, frozen to her spot as Vincent ran from the bridge. The others too saw Vincent's retreat, and looked over at Tifa in confusion. She couldn't bear their stares and ran after him.

Instinctively, she made her way to the outside deck of the ship. Sure enough she found Vincent there, clinging to the rail of the ship looking down at the ground below.

She walked up behind him slowly; afraid on some level that when he noticed her, it would be Chaos that would greet her. "Hey, Vincent?"

"Go away." He said between sobs.

Although her heart had been stung to hear that Sephiroth was his son, she still wished to let him know that it was all right. "No, I will not. I'm not angry, but I think I deserve an explanation."

"What's there to explain, Tifa?" He replied, still not looking at her. "Sephiroth was my son. I never told anyone that, and I never intended to. Tseng and Hojo knew, but no one else."

"But why didn't you ever tell me? Did Hojo steal your DNA and use it to create him? If so, why did he tell us that he was Sephiroth's father?" Tifa asked, her mind clouded in confusion.

"Hojo didn't find out until after he created Angel, that's why he got angry and decided to abort the retrial. He knew that Lucretia and I were having an affair, but he never suspected that we had…" Vincent's voice trailed off as more tears choked him.

Tifa shook at the thought of Vincent being with another woman, even if it had been over thirty years before. She knew this wasn't fair as she too had been with other men in her lifetime. Yet she still felt some measure of betrayal at never having been told that Sephiroth had been his son. "You should have told me!"

"How? Wouldn't you have thought it terrible of me to have helped kill my own son? What kind of monster could spawn a child like that?" Vincent glanced back at her briefly. "It was because Hojo knew of my feelings for Lucretia that he tore my body apart and turned me into what I am."

"How Sephiroth turned out wasn't your fault!" Tifa stepped closer to him. "Hojo's the one who turned him into a monster. Lucretia let him have that child for his experiment, it wasn't your fault!"

He turned on her, furious at her accusation of Lucretia's guilt. "Lucretia was as terrified of Hojo as anyone else. She gave the child over to Hojo for fear that if he learned that I was the father, that I would be killed, along with her and the baby. She did what she thought she had to do."

Tifa felt his anger tear at her, and she dropped her gaze. "I'm sorry…"

"Not as sorry as I am." Vincent looked away again. "If I had stayed away from Lucretia, there would have been no Sephiroth or Cloud Strife. None of what happened over the last thirty years would have happened. How am I supposed to live with that? How could I expect anyone to not hate me after learning the truth?"

Gathering her courage, Tifa went to him and placed her arms around his waist. "Vincent, I could never hate you. Do you remember what I said the night you came to me in New Nibelheim?"

He turned in her embrace and looked down at her. "What?"

"I said that nothing that happened before you came to me mattered." Tifa held him closer. "I meant it, and I still do. Besides, if Sephiroth was a monster simply because you were his father, then explain how Angel turned out so perfect."

At hearing Tifa say this he knew he needed to make one more confession to her. "I am fairly certain that all that is good in Angel is a result of who her mother was."

Tifa's eyes went wide. "You know who her mother was?"

He turned away from her again. "Yes, when I was with Tseng in the lab a few days ago, I found out."

She couldn't stand the suspense. "Well, who is it?"

Vincent closed his eyes, letting a tear fall. "Aeris."

Tifa's mind spun, disbelieving what he had said. "Aeris..?"

Vincent's shoulders slumped as he awaited her reaction. "Yes. I was afraid to tell you, since there was the whole Cloud and Aeris thing."

Tifa shook her head, even though his back was turned to her. "Afraid? Why? Yes, Cloud preferred her over me, but that has nothing to do with Angel. Maybe you've forgotten over the years, but despite the fact that Cloud turned his back on me for her, Aeris and I were still friends, and I loved her dearly. Vincent, I can't think of anyone better to have been her mother, can you?"

Vincent looked over, seeing that Angel was standing on the deck close to the stairway. Upon seeing the pain upon her father's face, she ran over and threw her arms around both him and Tifa.

Angel had heard most of their conversation. "Father, Tseng has told me about my brother. There is no way for you to be blamed for what he did. Sephiroth was driven to madness by several things, but not by you. But I know nothing of my mother, and if you could tell me about her sometime, I would be grateful."

Vincent was being comforted by the acceptance these two women gave him. Inside he was still in agony over Sephiroth's ultimate fate, and supposed he always would be. He knew he had frightened Tifa with his initial reaction. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Tifa."

She smiled up at him. "It's okay, Vincent. I know why you didn't, I'm not angry."

Even though the circumstances surrounding the loss of Vincent's son and her unborn baby were completely different, they now had another level of understanding between them. Deep inside, she was also relieved to finally know who Angel's mother was. The immature part of her personality was exalted to know that Angel was definitely not another love child of Vincent's, as the Ancient had been dead far too long to have been personally involved in the girl's creation.

Tifa's mind thought about the situation. With Vincent being Sephiroth's father, it also made him Cloud's father in a way. Her world was becoming incredibly confusing. She couldn't help but ask. "How did you feel about Cloud, since he was Sephiroth's clone?"

Vincent shrugged weakly, not having expected such a question. "He did carry half of my genetic material being Sephiroth's clone, but I never felt really 'related' to him. It's hard to explain, but there was never any connection between us, beyond being teammates in AVALANCHE. With as many clones as Hojo tried to make of Sephiroth, to have felt some parental obligation to all of them would have been mind boggling."

Except for the spiraling depression in his last years, Tifa couldn't really see any similarity in Cloud and Vincent, and so she accepted his answer. "Oh."

Vincent gathered himself and backed away from the two women. "I'm sorry, I really am."

Both Angel and Tifa looked at him with pity. They both could see the pain inside him, both from his confession and his memories of the past. 

After a few minutes of standing in silence, they noticed that Reno and Tseng had come up to the deck as well, wondering where everyone had gone.

Reno came up and took Angel's hand. "Hey, babe."

Angel smiled at him. "Hi, Reno."

Vincent looked at Reno without any humor in his expression. Everyone present braced for the worst, but they were all surprised at what happened next.

"Reno, I have something to say to you." Vincent said, taking a step closer to the man.

Reno retracted one step, fearing what Vincent had on his mind. "What's that, old man?"

"Angel told me about what you did for her after rescuing her from the lab, and I want to thank you for being so good to her. I couldn't have asked for a better companion for my daughter." He said, still locked in Reno's gaze.

Figuring that Vincent must be up to some cruel joke, Reno felt uneasy. "What?"

Angel socked her mate in the shoulder. "My father just thanked you, jerk."

Reno realized that Vincent was serious. "Oh, uh, no problem."

Tseng stepped up to them, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder. Tseng knew that Vincent had confessed the truth of Angel's mother, and he was proud of him for having the fortitude to tell Tifa. "Are you doing okay?"

He smiled weakly at his brother, feeling the burden of the secrets he had kept lift from his shoulders. "Yes, thank you Tseng."

Being the center of attention of everyone on the deck began to make Vincent uncomfortable. "Can we go back inside and do something else?"


	28. Homecoming

Guilt's Cost: Part XXVIII

Homecoming

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

It wasn't until late the next day that Tseng's airship reached its destination. Tifa, unable to withstand the suspense, had asked everyone on the ship where they were going, but no one would crack no matter how much she begged. Vincent had retreated into himself somewhat after his confession to Tifa about being Sephiroth's father, and it pained her deeply to see him so quiet. He had spent much of the trip up on deck alone, only coming inside late during the night to go to sleep. When Tifa had attempted to touch him that night in bed, he had kindly turned her down, not feeling up to any sort of physical escapade. Tifa didn't let this get to her, though; knowing that it wasn't personal. Vincent was a complicated man, and it took time for him to learn how to deal with his feelings; something that she had come to appreciate.

Tseng had the pilot bring the ship down in the middle of a field on the outskirts of town. Everyone disembarked and stood trying to figure out where Tseng had brought them.

Vincent stood on the edge of the group, closing his eyes as he inhaled the warm breeze. The distinct smell of his hometown was unmistakable, and he immediately turned to his brother, eyes narrowed in anger. "You brought me to Wutai?"

Tseng was shaken by Vincent's reaction. "Yes, I thought it would be nice for us to visit some of our relatives."

"I don't have any relatives. All of Father's family is dead, the only ones here are your mother's family." Vincent snarled through clenched teeth.

He took a step toward his brother, still not certain why he was mad. "But they remember you, too. You were just as dear to them as I, even if you aren't blood relatives."

"I'm going back on the ship." Vincent said, starting to walk away.

Tifa took chase of Vincent, grabbing his arm before he started up the ladder to the airship's deck. "Vincent, what's wrong?"

He kept his gaze fixed to the side of the craft. "Damn it, Tifa. There is nothing here for me but bad memories."

"Vincent, Tseng tried to do something nice, now grow up." Tifa said, tightening the hold on his cybernetic arm.

He jerked his arm free of her grasp, and looked down at her, clearly irritated. "Tifa, listen to me. I don't want to be here. Yeah, Tseng has some real nice family here, and I'm certain that they would just love to see me, but I can't go into town."

"Why?" Tifa demanded. "You know, you've been a real pain in the ass since telling me that Sephiroth was your son. Although I am very much aware that Vincent Valentine likes to get all self absorbed and angry when he's hurting, I still am getting sick of it. You straighten the Hell up and go apologize to your brother."

He leaned closer to her, his eyes narrow. The rage beginning to boil up within him was getting out of control. "Don't talk to me like you are my mother, because you are not. Have a wonderful time here in Wutai, but don't expect me to stay."

Tifa saw Chaos flashing behind his eyes, and at a loss for what to do she slapped him hard across the face. "Knock it off!"

Vincent spun from the force of her blow and steadied himself against the side of the ship. He brought his human hand up to the side of his face where she had struck him. He had bit his tongue, and spat a small amount of blood down on the ground. "Oh shit."

Tifa covered her mouth with her hands, horrified at what she had done. "Oh Vincent, I'm sorry!"

He slowly turned to face her, having pushed Chaos from his mind. His expression was one of apology. "Thanks, Tifa. You smacked him right the Hell out of me…"

She put her arms around him. "I know you wouldn't talk to me like that, and I was getting scared."

He smiled weakly. "When I told you about Sephiroth and Aeris the other day, I was really upset and he started to try and take over again. I have been fighting him during this whole trip. That's why I've been a little distant. I'm sorry."

She giggled to herself at the thought of having slapped Chaos. "Anytime, Vincent."

"I still am not thrilled about being here, though." He admitted. 

"That's all right. Maybe you and I can find some things to do to take your mind off the past." She smiled, winking at him.

Vincent clenched his teeth at her innuendo, suppressing the urge to get aroused. "Come on, let's go."

They walked back to the others, seeing that they were all staring slack jawed from the spectacle they had just witnessed. 

Vincent hung his head and walked over to Tseng. "Sorry."

Tseng accepted his apology. "It's nothing, Tsuvati. You can still speak Wutain, right?"

He nodded. Although he hadn't done so in over thirty years, it was his first language and not something that he could ever forget. "Yes, I can."

"Good, because there are a lot of our relatives that only speak it." Tseng said as he started walking toward town.

Tseng led them straight to a small house on the edge of town. Vincent examined it as they got nearer, recognizing the curved red eaves and exposed wall beams as that of Tseng's Aunt Yokazi's home.

Vincent walked next to his brother. "Is she still alive?"

Tseng smiled. "Very much so. She writes me all the time to tell me of our cousins."

He couldn't believe it. "How old is Yokazi now?"

"One hundred and twelve." Tseng too was amazed at the woman's longevity. "She still does everything for herself, too. She still works in the market three days a week."

Vincent shook his head, amazed. "She always was an incredible woman."

"Yes, and she still is." Tseng replied.

They got to the door and Tseng knocked. After several seconds, the door slowly opened and a tiny old woman stepped out. Age had bent her forward somewhat, and her face was wrinkled, but her ever-present kind smile still beamed. "Tseng?"

Tseng smiled down at her, having to speak to her in Wutain. "Hello, Aunt Yokazi. I have brought a surprise for you."

The old woman clasped her hands in front of her; eagerly awaiting what Tseng had in store. "What is it, Tseng?"

Tseng took her by the arm and led her up to Vincent. "Aunt Yokazi, I have brought home Tsuvati."

The old woman's ancient eyes went wide in disbelief. Her voice crackled despite the Wutain language's natural smoothness. "Tsuvati? You are alive? How can this be? How can you be so young?"

Vincent had no difficulty picking back up on speaking his native language. "It is me, Yokazi. There were many changes made to me at the hands of Shin Ra, but it is still me. I am sorry for never letting you know that I was all right."

She smiled and embraced him. The old woman had always had a deep liking for him from the time her sister had married Vincent's father. "Who are your friends?"

Vincent made the rest of the introductions. Tifa and Reno waved as they were pointed to; not understanding what was being said, as they had never learned Wutain. When Vincent introduced Angel, she stepped forward.

"Tsuvati, this is you daughter?" Yokazi asked, admiring the young woman's beauty.

"Yes." Vincent said with pride.

Angel had been taught the language while in the acceleration chamber. "It is an honor to meet you."

Yokazi threw her arms around Angel, delighted at the thought of Vincent having a child. "I am so glad you came! I cannot wait to tell you all the stories I have of your father and uncle from their childhood. Please, come in!"


	29. Incident

Guilt's Cost: Part XXIX

Incident

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Author's Note: If you haven't read Yuffie's Prize (by yours truly) you may wish to do so before going any further. Some things will make a lot more sense if you do. You might want to read PDS for that matter, too.

Despite her age, Yokazi was quite a hostess. She prepared them all a sizable dinner and everyone sat around the table laughing at stories of Tseng and Vincent's childhood antics. Vincent translated for Tifa, and she was thrilled to hear about Vincent's past. Angel was also quite taken and did her best to keep Reno up on what they were talking about.

From the old woman's tales, it was clear that Vincent had been quite a Hell raiser during his younger years. Apparently, he had a mean streak a mile wide and although he loved his little brother, there were more than a few occasions where he had to be pulled off of the boy for fear he'd kill him.

Tseng hadn't been a completely innocent victim in those days, as he too was more than a little devilish as a child. He had usually brought on the pummelings that Vincent had given him by making the older boy's life miserable.

The stories all ended the same though, with Vincent and Tseng having been lectured by their father and forced to make up.

Vincent remembered those long ago days and wished that they hadn't ended. Even with the death of his own mother, his life was still good. He had come to love his stepmother and his half brother. The memory that stuck out most was that of having to walk his little brother to school everyday. Tseng would always try to escape from his brother's watch having no interest in attending school. There were more than a few mornings when Vincent would drag Tseng very late into the classroom after having to chase him through town.

After dinner was over, Yokazi cleared the table and made her way to bed. She had two guestrooms and one went to Angel and Reno, while the other was given to Vincent and Tifa. Tseng very happily agreed to sleep in the den as it left him closer to the kitchen. He always got hungry in the night and this meant nothing but convenience to him.

Angel and Reno turned in shortly thereafter. Vincent was feeling restless and decided to give Tifa a night tour of the town.

They walked out into the cool night air. Despite the fact she had to walk rather fast to keep up with Vincent, she still caught a chill. He stopped on a high bridge that crossed the town's small river and turned to her.

Noticing that she was cold, he pulled his cloak from his shoulders and wrapped it around her. She smiled at him, reveling in the warmth of the garment, pulling some of the fabric up to her face so she could catch his scent on it.

As Vincent stood looking at her in the moonlight, a genuine smile came to his lips. He loved her more than he ever thought possible and he got a strange feeling inside. "Tifa?"

She drew closer to him, seeing that there was something on his mind. "Yes?"

Vincent almost felt nauseous as a very important question rang through his mind. He fell to one knee, more out of nervousness than intention. He grasped her right hand with his human one.

Tifa instantly began to shake as she realized what was happening. There was no way she could possibly accept if he asked; at least not this soon after Cloud's death. She realized that he was probably just terrified of being alone again, and would do anything to assure that never happened.

He closed his eyes and prepared to speak, but was cut off by a shout not too far away.

"Oh my God, Genji, that's him! Holy shit, I swear that's him!" A girl's high-pitched voice rang out.

Vincent lost his train of thought and stood, turning to face the source of the yell. What he saw shocked him.

A huge man was barreling down upon him. Vincent reached to his side instinctively, realizing all too late that his gun had been left back at the house. He put up his arms in defense, but the man coming at him was a monster of a thing and once he got to Vincent he knocked him to the ground with one solid blow.

Tifa screamed, at a loss for what to do. "Vincent!"

Vincent struggled to his feet, dazed by the attack. He had no idea who this man was or why he was attacking. He suddenly felt the man's hand grab his neck.

"I hear you like it rough, you stupid fuck!" The man said as he easily lifted Vincent off the ground.

Vincent slashed at the man's arms with his claw, but the heavy leather jacket the man had on made his attacks futile. He struggled to breathe.

"I'm gonna kill you for what you did to my wife!" He said as he threw Vincent to the ground.

Tifa ran to Vincent's side, wanting to protect him from this stranger. "Vincent, get up!"

He laid there stunned, unable to move quickly. His world was spinning from having his neck crushed in the man's grip.

"Come on, Genji!" The girl's voice shouted out again from the darkness. "Kill him before he does to Tifa what he did to me!"

Tifa suddenly recognized the voice. "Yuffie? Where are you? Make him stop trying to kill Vincent!"

Yuffie flew from the shadows and pulled Tifa back from where Vincent still lay heaped on the ground. "Come on, Tifa. Get back so Genji can finish him off!"

Genji reached down and clutched one of Vincent's ankles, dragging him along the ground. He pulled him up to the highest point of the bridge and tried to throw Vincent over the side.

"God Damn it, stop!" Tifa begged as she struggled against Yuffie's grip.

Genji gave her little regard and looked back down to where Vincent was desperately trying to cling to the side of the bridge. Vincent's cybernetic claw was dug into the masonry of the span and he searched frantically to find any sort of grip for his other hand. Genji sneered as he reached down and knocked Vincent's metal talons away, casting Vincent down toward the water below.

Tifa tried to fight Yuffie off of her, but the young ninja was her physical equal and Tifa couldn't escape. "Yuffie, let me go!"

"Tifa, you don't know what kind of person Vincent is!" Yuffie said, not letting Tifa get away from her.

"Oh my God!" Tifa's eyes went wide. "He threw Vincent off the bridge!"

Vincent fell down toward the shallow water below, knowing that it wouldn't be deep enough to save him. In a desperate attempt at self-preservation, he closed his eyes and gave into Chaos.

The demon's wings unfurled catching the air. Chaos already knew what he was going to do, and he kept Vincent's body.

Genji looked down in shock as Vincent's wings came out and he began to fly back up to where he stood. The huge man took several steps back in disbelief.

Chaos dove onto Genji, knocking him easily to the ground. He used Vincent's metal arm to bludgeon the man into unconsciousness. Once convinced that Genji was no longer a threat, he stood up and faced Yuffie.

Chaos gave Yuffie an evil smile and started to walk over to where she was holding Tifa. "Yuffie? Is that you?"

Yuffie let go of Tifa and started to back away, but found herself cornered against the wall of a house. "Oh Tifa! Run! Vincent is a monster!"

Tifa was too much in shock to react right away, and she stood shaking in terror. "Chaos, get away from her!"

Vincent looked back over his shoulder at Tifa briefly, before turning his attention back to Yuffie. "So Yuffie, how are you?"

With eyes wide in fear Yuffie replied. "Get away from me, Vincent! Don't make me hurt you!"

He laughed. "Now certainly you didn't come down here and draw my attention for nothing, did you? In fact, I think you were looking for some more of what I gave you the last time we were together."

Yuffie screamed as Vincent took both her wrists into his cybernetic hand. He pressed his body against hers, smashing her against the wall. "Yuffie, don't tell me you didn't like it."

Tifa gasped, suddenly remembering the small device that Tseng had given her several days before. She reached into her pocket and pushed the button. "God Tseng, please help!"

Chaos took Vincent's human hand and pawed at Yuffie's struggling body. The demon was getting aroused recalling the time he had attacked Yuffie seven years before.

Being trapped by Vincent's body, she could feel him become excited. The memory of the trauma she had suffered before from him forcing himself into her mouth brought Yuffie into a full panic. "Help! Tifa, get him away from me! Don't let him hurt me again!"

Unable to ignore her friend's plea for help, Tifa ran over to Chaos and kicked him in the side. "Leave her alone!"

Vincent smirked, unaffected by her feeble attack. "Wait your turn, bitch. There is plenty to go around."


	30. Confrontation

Guilt's Cost: Part XXX

Confrontation

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tseng had almost fallen asleep when the small pager like device in his coat pocket began to go off. He sat up with a start and pulled his coat over to him retrieving the device, looking at its tiny screen.

"Damn it." He cursed to himself seeing that it was Tifa who had set off the alarm.

He rose up and hastily pulled on his clothes. From within his suitcase he pulled out his side arm. The small gun was nothing near as nice as his brother's Death Penalty, but it would have to do.

Tseng ran out the front door, looking up and down the narrow street, trying to think where Tifa would be. A distant scream told him to head north. He hesitated for a moment, thinking that he should go get Reno to help him but when he heard the scream again, he decided there was no time.

He made his way in the darkness, giving little regard to his heart as he ran. It wasn't long before he came upon the scene that Tifa had called him to.

Tifa was pulling on one of Chaos's wings trying to pry him away from another girl who he was pinning against a wall.

Tifa saw Tseng approach and came to him, desperate for any help. "Tseng, Chaos has got Yuffie!"

Hearing the name of the daughter of the ruler of Wutai made Tseng's heart beat faster. "Yuffie? Chaos has got Godo's girl?"

"Yes!" Tifa exclaimed loudly. "I tried to get through to Vincent, but Chaos isn't letting him hear me!"

Tseng took his gun and fired a shot up into the air. Vincent immediately took a step back from Yuffie and turned around. "Tseng, you aren't up to fighting me. Go home."

Tseng narrowed his eyes in anger at the thought of this demon ruling his brother. "Chaos, go back into submission! Let Vincent come back!"

The demon sneered and walked toward Tseng. "Go back to bed old man. I will let Vincent come back when and if I choose."

Tseng was growing nervous at the demon's growing proximity. He raised his gun. "Stop Chaos!"

"You wouldn't shoot me, Tseng." Chaos growled. "You harm me, and you harm Vincent."

Tseng saw no choice, and fired a shot, intentionally aiming it so it would rip through one of the demon's wings.

The bullet tore through the outer edge of the wing, shattering the bone that supported it. It instantly collapsed, dragging the ground behind Chaos as he continued to come at Tseng.

Tifa clung to Tseng in terror, as Chaos grew closer. Suddenly a loud crack was heard and Vincent screamed before falling to the ground before them.

Tifa and Tseng looked up from Vincent's fallen form seeing Reno standing in his pajamas with his electric nightstick held out before him. 

Tifa knelt down next to where Vincent lay. The demon's wings were already gone; a clear indication that Chaos had been knocked back into submission.

Yuffie upon seeing both Reno and Tseng passed out. The experience of being attacked by a demon and then seeing Reno and Tseng who was supposed to be dead took more out of her than she had.

Vincent groaned and attempted to sit up. "Not again…"

Tifa cradled him in her arms. "It's not your fault. Yuffie's husband was trying to kill you."

He placed his human hand against the side of his head. "I didn't hurt anyone, did I?"

Tifa couldn't help but look over to where Genji still lay on the ground unconscious. Reno had walked over to him with his night staff casually resting on his shoulder, and prodded the man's side with his shoe.

Tseng helped Tifa get Vincent to his feet. Vincent's cybernetic limbs were sluggish to react to him as the shock Reno had hit him with had temporarily affected their circuits.

Tifa, upon realizing that Yuffie was laying on the ground went over to her. "Yuffie, are you all right?"

The girl opened her eyes and struggled to her feet. "Where's Vincent?"

Tifa took her hand, hoping to calm Yuffie's nerves. "It's okay, that wasn't Vincent that attacked you, it was Chaos. You should go check on Genji."

Yuffie agreed and staggered over to her fallen husband. "Genji?"

The man was regaining consciousness. "Yuf?"

She smiled, happy to see him still alive. "Yeah, did you get hurt?"

Genji got up, rubbing his temples from the pain in his head. "Yeah, where's that bastard?"

Tifa raised her hands, wanting to get his attention. "No, leave Vincent alone!"

Genji frowned down at this stranger. "Who are you to be ordering me around?"

Yuffie stepped up. "This is Tifa, she was in AVALANCHE with me."

Genji nodded knowingly. "I've heard of you. But the man you were with, he's the one who attacked Yuffie a long time ago."

"No, please listen!" Tifa begged, hoping to prevent another fight. "Vincent is possessed by a demon. He hasn't hurt anyone! It was Chaos! Yuffie, tell him!"

Yuffie's long standing fear of Vincent wasn't completely relieved by Tifa's explanation. "I don't know Tifa! He didn't look like Chaos last time…"

Tifa grabbed Yuffie's shoulders and shook her. "Come on, Yuffie! You know it's the truth!"

She looked up to her husband. "Genji, we should go."

He took Yuffie's hand and led her off.

Tifa watched them retreat, hoping that she would get the chance to see Yuffie again before leaving Wutai.

Reno came over to Tseng who didn't look well. "Boss, you okay?"

Tseng mustered a smile for his friend. "Yes, Reno. Thanks for helping."

He shrugged. "I heard the gunshot, and figured I should see what was up. Angel sleeps like such a damn log that she didn't even notice me leaving. But you're sure your heart is okay?"

Tseng nodded, touched by Reno's unusual display of concern. "Yes, if there is a problem, I will let you know."

Tifa took Vincent's arm and helped him back toward the house. They were followed closely by Tseng and Reno. No one spoke on the return trip, all being too entrenched in their own thoughts about what had just happened to talk.


	31. Removal

Guilt's Cost: Part XXXI

Removal

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Hojo sat dictating his plans into his recorder. Porter was in the other end of the office trying to fill out yet more expense reports for the scientist.

"The genetic sample from Ms. Lockhart has checked out, and I believe that she is ideal for the Neo-Jenova Project. All that stands between now and the beginning of the retrial is getting Ms. Lockhart to donate the appropriate material." Hojo said excitedly.

Porter's ears perked up. Although he knew better than to question Hojo about anything, he couldn't help himself. "Why do we need her if we already have her DNA?"

Hojo glared over at his guard, annoyed at his ignorance. "I have cells of hers, but what I need are gametes, Porter. Have you ever tried to splice the DNA of two people only using ordinary cells?"

"N..no." Porter stammered at the rhetorical question.

"Well, it is by far easier to use gametes, but I wouldn't expect you to know that. Eggs from Ms. Lockhart will enable me to create the embryo I need to place into the accelerator much quicker." Hojo said, turning back to his recorder to continue his taping. "Once I have the required gametes, I will combine them with my own. I will make certain that the gamete that I donate will be a 'Y' carrier, as I wish the specimen to be a male."

A few moments later Porter felt a chill run down his spine as he realized that Hojo had turned off the recorder and was staring at him. Porter put down his pen and slowly turned around, finding Hojo smiling at him. "Is there something you need, Sir?"

The scientist licked his lips in his reptilian way. "Actually, my dear Porter, there is. Please come with me to the lab. Leave your dog here."

Porter felt sick as he got up and walked out of the office behind the scientist. His dog whined as his master left the room.

The chamber containing Cloud's body was now in the lab. Hojo walked up to it and flipped open a control panel. A loud hiss was heard as the glass door to the chamber began to slide open. A fog of frost fell from the cylinder revealing Cloud's body inside.

Hojo looked back at Porter. "Come here and help me get him out."

The Turk reluctantly did as ordered and stepped forward, at once being enveloped by the cold from within the chamber.

The scientist hit another button and Cloud's body fell forward. Porter instinctively caught Cloud, supporting his weight.

Hojo walked to a nearby table and motioned for the Turk to bring Cloud over. "Lay him here."

Porter did as instructed, laying Cloud out on the slab. He stepped back and inspected the body. Cloud was dressed in a white, loose jumpsuit, which contrasted with the slightly blue color of his cold skin. Around his neck was some sort of metal collar. Porter pointed in his curiosity. "What is that?"

Hojo rolled his eyes. _Why must I be surrounded by idiots? _"It is a life support collar. With his brain not functioning, that collar sends nervous signals into his body keeping it alive."

"Oh," Porter replied. The sight of the once proud warrior now laying before him in a death sleep made him uneasy. To see someone both alive and dead at the same time was eerie.

Hojo pulled over a tray covered in medical instruments and devices. The scientist picked up a bone saw. "You may go now, Porter."

The Turk gladly made his retreat from the lab. As he closed the door behind him, he heard Hojo laugh.

With the Turk now gone, Hojo put the saw down. He wasn't yet ready to use it; he had just wanted to scare his guard off. He walked to the side of the table and looked at Cloud. Hojo reached out and touched the ex-SOLDIER's face gently. 

Hojo sighed, thinking how much like Sephiroth this man looked. In fact, over the last seven years, Cloud had begun to prematurely gray, enhancing his similarity to the specimen he had been modeled after. The scientist closed his eyes for a moment, remembering Sephiroth and how proud he had been with him. 

Hojo spoke to the dead man. "So much like him you are. But now I know why Sephiroth failed in the end, and so did you. That worthless contaminant Mr. Valentine ruined the both of you. I hope Lucretia is rotting in Hell for allowing that…that…fucking loser to screw her! Even the thought of Mr. Valentine having been around you, my precious Cloud, makes me sick. What sort of lies did he tell you about me? Did he ever touch you? After all, he seemed to like fucking what was mine."

Hojo wouldn't have been surprised if Vincent had ever slept with Cloud (although he never had), knowing that his brother Tseng was gay. Nothing ever went on inside the Shin Ra building that the scientist wasn't aware of, and he had seen first hand Rufus and Tseng together in the Presidential office more than once, courtesy of his personal surveillance system.

One of the scientist's gnarled hands reached out and began to unzip the jumpsuit covering Cloud's body. Once done, he gently pulled the garment off, leaving Cloud naked on the table. Hojo cast the piece of clothing to the floor, and inspected Cloud. The wound where Cloud had driven his sword into his body beneath his ribs was crudely sutured shut, and was showing faint signs of healing.

Hojo shook his head in what appeared to be pity. "Why did you do it, Cloud? Was your life really that bad? I will admit, the death of Aeris bothered me, too. The thought of such a wonderful specimen being wasted like that was heart wrenching, but she wasn't worth killing yourself over, was she?"

Leaning forward, Hojo narrowed his eyes as he looked at the wound more closely. With his right hand, he traced the stab wound lightly, then allowing his hand to trail down Cloud's abdomen, his hand finally coming to rest on the dead man's thigh.

Hojo sighed to himself, feeling a wretched urge begin to well up within him. He walked away from the body for a moment to lock the door to the lab and turn off the security cameras. The scientist has 'things' he needed to attend to, and no one was going to disturb him from his twisted desires.

Porter made his way back to the office and retrieved his dog. He thought briefly about sitting back down and finishing the reports he had been working on, but the thought of what was probably going in back in the lab made him feel like he should get as far away as possible.

As he stepped off the elevator into the lobby, he ran right into his friend. "Hey, Rude."

The tall man smiled down at Porter. "They still got you babysitting the Professor?"

Porter frowned, patting his dog on the head for comfort. "Yeah, sick bastard is up there right now doing God knows what. Want to go out for a drink?"

Rude nodded. His day had been hard, and the thought of alcoholic bliss was tempting. "Sounds like a plan. The President spent most of the day drilling me a new one over us not catching a certain ex-Turk."

Porter was intrigued. And looked over at his friend as they walked to his car. "Which one?"

Rude shook his head, as that was classified information. "Sorry, Porter, no dice. I'd loose my job if it got out. Let's just say that your charge Hojo has more than a slight interest in us getting this man, too."

Once at the bar, Porter brought back up the subject. "Hojo has an interest in seeing that we get this ex-Turk you're chasing, huh?"

Rude knew he never should have said anything to his friend. He was all too aware of what a curious man Porter was. "Yeah."

Porter's eyes went wide as a possibility came to his mind. "Is the story about Hojo having experimented on a Turk way back when true?"

"Man, why can't you let it go?" Rude knew his friend could be trusted, but wasn't going to let him off easily.

"Just wondering." Porter said, seeing that Rude was about to crack. "So is that story true? You were around back then."

Rude nodded after taking a long drink from his beer. "Yeah, it is, and yes, that is who we're looking for. Happy?"

Porter slumped back in his seat. "No shit?"

"No shit." Rude replied. "You need to be careful, Porter. Don't ever give Hojo a reason to dislike you. The Turk that he tortured was one of the previous holders of your very position."

Porter's hackles raised. "He was Hojo's personal Turk?"

Rude just nodded.

Closing his eyes, Porter sighed. The true reality of the danger his post held sunk in "I really must have ticked someone off to get this assignment, then."

Rude pealed the label from his bottle. "No, actually you were chosen on purpose."

"What do you mean?" Porter sat back up.

"Well," Rude leaned forward. "Your personality profile showed that you were the least likely Turk to anger Hojo and therefore, you would survive this position the longest."

"Oh for the love of Pete." Porter said before downing the last of his drink. "I wanted to be a Turk to be an assassin; to take part in secret missions and hits."

"Too bad you turned out to be too nice a guy." Rude smiled. Somehow he knew that Porter never would have made it as a cold-blooded killer.


	32. Proposal

Guilt's Cost: Part XXXII  
Proposal

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

When they got back to Yokazi's house, Reno made his way back to bed with Angel, seemingly unriled by what had happened. Vincent lurched off toward his room and Tifa attempted to follow, but felt Tseng grab her arm and hold her back. 

"What?" She asked Tseng, wanting desperately to get back to Vincent.

"Tifa, I'm getting worried." Tseng said quietly, not wanting Vincent to hear.

She sighed and hung her head. "It's not his fault. Yuffie's husband attacked him, he had no choice!"

"That demon inside him is getting more powerful, and I think you know it. Regardless of how much Vincent loves you, that demon does not, and it wouldn't be out of his nature to kill you." Tseng said staring into her eyes.

"Tseng, all I can do is be there for Vincent. Having to deal with Chaos is a risk I'm going to have to take." Tifa whispered back.

"You weren't able to bring Vincent back this time, don't you see?" Tseng put his hand on her shoulder. "A time might be coming when he never comes back."

Tifa fought back the tears, knowing that Tseng was right. "What am I supposed to do? Vincent needs me."

"I think it might be time for us to look into getting him back into stasis until my men can figure out how to deal with Chaos." Tseng said, clearly pained by his own words.

Tifa's knees felt weak at Tseng's suggestion. "No! Vincent would never let you do that to him! Not after the thirty years he spent asleep! And what if your men couldn't figure out what to do for him?"

"Tifa, if anything were to happen to you at the hands of Chaos, Vincent wouldn't go on living. I don't want to have to shoot him again if he becomes a threat." He let his hand fall away from her.

With the tears burning in her eyes, Tifa turned away from Tseng and ran into her room, locking the door. She made her way to the bed, finding Vincent sitting on its edge with his head in his hands.

Tifa sat beside him and placed her arm around his shoulders. "Vincent, are you okay?"

He didn't respond immediately, and when he finally did, it was a mumbled, "Uh-huh."

She allowed her hand to slide down his back, feeling the tatters of his shirt flutter beneath her fingers. "Let's get this off."

Vincent sat up, allowing her to remove his shirt. She climbed onto the bed and knelt behind him, pulling it off his shoulders. As she had suspected, she saw that the black skin had crept up further onto his back. Without thinking, she reached out and touched it.

Vincent hung his head again, knowing what she was doing. "How bad is it now?"

"Huh?" She pulled her hand away.

"I become less human each time. I try to ignore it, but I know it's getting worse, so how bad is it now?" He said under his breath.

Tifa reached back out and traced the border of the demon's flesh. "It goes to here."

He rose from the bed and turned toward her. Silently he admonished himself for almost having proposed to her, "I'm sorry, I can't stay with you anymore."

Tifa's expression fell. "Vincent, don't you dare!"

He gestured out with his hands weakly. "Chaos is taking over, there is nothing I can do. He hates me and everyone I care for. He's almost strong enough now to keep my body."

"I don't care!" Tifa cried, launching herself from the bed and placing her arms around him. "I will not let you go! Chaos can try to drive me away, but I will stay and fight for you!"

He embraced her. "We cannot be alone anymore. There needs to be someone with us in case I change again…"

"Not tonight." Tifa looked up at him. "Maybe Tseng can stay with us from now on, but tonight we will be alone."

"What if Chaos comes back again?" Vincent asked, looking into her eyes.

"Come on, Vincent!" She almost smiled. "Even I know that he wouldn't return that quickly! He has to gather his strength before coming out, so for now, we are safe."

He knew she was right, but anything was possible when I came to the demon. His mind turned to what had happened. "I hope Yuffie is all right."

Tifa put a finger up to his lips, silencing him. "No more about that tonight."

She reached over to the wall and turned off the light. Vincent offered no resistance as she took his hand and led him to the bed. Vincent sat down heavily and Tifa knelt before him, staring up into his faintly glowing eyes. Despite the pain he was feeling inside, he managed a smile as he admired her in the dim light coming in through the window. He now remembered why he had stopped on the bridge in the first place.

"Tifa?" He asked as reached out and took her left hand in his human one.

She felt her heart begin to race as she saw the glow in his eyes get brighter. "Yes?"

He hung his head and sighed. "I was going to ask you something earlier tonight, but we got interrupted. I think you know what, and I also think that you'll say no."

Her heart was stung by how he had predicted how she would have answered had he asked her on the bridge. A lot had happened since then, though and now she wasn't so sure she could refuse. Seeing how clearly he was laying his heart out for her was touching her deeply. "You won't know unless you ask me."

Vincent brought his gaze back up to meet hers. He thought she must be thinking that the question on his mind was something else, but felt he had nothing to lose. "Tifa, if I can someday find a way to become…human…again, I was wondering if you would consider maybe…Oh God, I can't…"

She stood up and threw her arms around him, knocking the both of them onto the bed. Tifa laid on top of him, smiling down into his surprised face. "Come on, Vincent! Ask!"

He was clearly shocked. "Will you marry me?"

Tifa bent down and kissed him as hard as she could. After a few minutes, she came back up. "Why do you want to wait until you are more human? I think you're perfect the way you are."

Vincent narrowed his eyes. "You would want to, even with me like I am?"

She slapped him playfully. "Yes, how many times do I have to say that I love you before you'll realize I'm not blowing smoke up your ass?"

He laughed at her remark, but his eyes quickly filled with tears even though the smile remained. "You really would?"

Tifa rolled her eyes. "I wish you would quit thinking that my being with you is some sort of cruel joke!"

He pulled her back down for another kiss, knowing that if he didn't, he would start crying uncontrollably. Vincent's mind was filled with disbelief that she had accepted, and he was going to show her his gratitude to her the best way he knew how.

Tifa found herself flung onto her back and Vincent slowly worked to unclothe her. She closed her eyes and reveled in the sensation of Vincent hand sliding across her skin, and the warmth of his mouth against hers.

Somewhere in the back of her mind there was a twinge of sadness as she recalled Cloud's proposal to her so many years before. He had taken her out to an expensive dinner, and when she had gotten up from the table for a moment he had dropped a ring into her champagne glass. When she returned, the diamond in her drink caught her eye and she had squealed in delight. 

Cloud had gotten up from his seat and knelt before her, sliding the ring onto her finger. "Will you marry me?"

Tifa had stared into his eyes for an eternity, seeing the lack of emotion that had been there. Although she pretended not to care, she knew that he wasn't asking her because he loved her, rather he had just somehow felt obligated to do it.

She was brought out of her memory when she felt Vincent's tongue make its way down her stomach, tickling her and making her writhe. Pleased with her sighs, he kept making his way lower.

Tifa drew in a shuddering breath as he began to do to her what no man ever had. She arched her back reveling in the sensation of his mouth gently working her. 

It didn't take long before Tifa felt control slipping away. "Vincent…stop…"

He immediately backed off, afraid that something wasn't right. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"No," She sighed, "I want you."

Her request only stirred his passions more, but he shook his head. "Tifa, I can't…what if I hurt you again?"

She sat up and undid the waist to his pants. "Please Vincent, you won't."

Vincent closed his eyes as Tifa exposed him. He didn't have the strength to resist as she pulled him down onto her.

Still afraid, but maddened by anticipation, he gave her what she had asked.

Tifa writhed beneath him. Vincent was so gentle and yet passionate; unlike Cloud had ever been. On the rare occasion that Cloud ever did make love to her it had always seemed mechanical. Tifa rarely was satisfied by him, eventually faking her way through it so he would finish and stop. She wasn't pretending now with Vincent. His movements were slow and deliberate, and he quickly brought her to the end.

Feeling Tifa relax beneath him, Vincent knew she was satisfied, and soon came to his own silent climax.

Vincent eventually rose from the bed and looked down at Tifa, his expression wracked with concern. "Are you all right?"

She smiled at him and patted the bed next to her. "I'm fine, nothing hurts. Come back to bed."

He was relived to hear her report and climbed beneath the sheets next to her. Tifa put an arm over his chest and rested her head on his shoulder. They soon fell asleep.


	33. Koi

Guilt's Cost: Part XXXIII

Koi

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Hey everybody, I have to go out of town for a few days for my brother in law's wedding, so this is the last chapter I will be writing until Dec. 24. Then I have to take another day off on Dec. 25, 'cause that's my Birthday J 

Vincent and Tifa awoke the next morning and prepared for their day. With Vincent's clothes torn and soiled from the night before he was at a loss for what to wear. Tifa had taken the liberty of picking up some things on her shopping spree the day before with Angel.

Tifa tossed Vincent a bag containing what she'd chosen for him. "Here, I thought this would look nice on you."

Vincent peered into the bag before closing it again and allowing it to fall to the ground. "This really isn't my style."

She instantly looked hurt. "But I picked that out just for you! Besides, you don't have anything else to wear."

He picked up the bag and dumped its contents out onto the bed. He looked at the outfit in disdain. "Thanks, Tifa."

Everyone was sitting at the breakfast table as Yokazi served them. When the door to Tifa and Vincent's room opened and he stepped out, Reno fell out of his chair laughing.

"What is wrong with you, Reno?" Angel asked, staring down at her beau.

Reno climbed back into his seat and pointed to where Vincent stood. "Oh shit, man. What the Hell? You finally out of the Goth phase?"

Vincent frowned at Reno, not sharing in his amusement. He had his hands shoved into the pockets of the rather form fitting jeans he had tucked down into his boots. Vincent's top was a green and black striped hooded sweatshirt. Although a normal outfit, it looked incredibly out of place on the ex-Turk. "I fail to see the humor in this."

Reno shook his head and looked over at Angel. "Come on, you've got to admit he looks funny."

Angel rolled her eyes, embarrassed at Reno's lack of tact. "I think he looks just fine. Tifa and I bought that yesterday. We thought it would do him good to get out of the black for once."

Vincent made his way to the table and sat heavily and Tifa landed next to him. Yokazi had been up for quite a while and had prepared them a sizable meal.

After they had eaten, Yokazi looked over at Vincent. "It is time to go to Temple."

Taking a moment to get back into speaking Wutain Vincent eventually replied. "Aunt, go ahead without me. I'm sure Tseng will go."

The old woman pointed a crooked finger at him. "You were raised a Wutain Buddhist, and you will go to Temple as long as you are staying in my house. It will do you good. I am sure you haven't been since leaving home."

Vincent hung his head. Having been raised by a traditional family, he could not disobey his elders. "Yes, Yokazi, I will go, but only if Tifa may come, too."

Yokazi smiled and nodded. "That is fine. We will leave soon."

Tifa leaned over to Vincent, knowing that he had been reprimanded for something. "What was that?"

"She told me I have to go to Temple with her." He sighed, truly having no desire to go. "And you're going with us."

Tifa's eyes went wide. "Your Buddhist?"

He rolled his eyes. "I was when I was growing up, but religion as a whole has lost most of its meaning to me. I would just as soon not go, but she demands it."

"Oh, well I bet it will be nice." Tifa said, not quite sure about what she would be expected to do once they were there. She knew absolutely jack about Buddhist temples and what went on there and she was excited in a way at the prospect of a new experience.

Reno snickered as soon as the old woman was out of earshot. "Vinny got yelled at…"

Vincent narrowed his eyes at his irritating tablemate. "You haven't even the slightest idea what she said."

"Yeah but I know getting busted, and you Daddy, just got busted." Reno said pointing an accusatory finger at Vincent.

Vincent got up and leaned over the table, grabbing Reno's collar and yanking him forward painfully. "You shut the Hell up, and don't you ever, EVER, call me Daddy! If you want my blessing to marry my daughter, you better start showing a little respect."

Reno gasped as he was dropped back into his seat. The fear that he had learned to feel regarding Vincent a few days before surfaced. "Geez, you're touchy. Sorry."

Vincent sat back down, realizing that he was getting nervous glances from Tifa, Tseng, and Angel. He knew that they were all expecting Chaos to surface at any moment. He managed a sheepish grin. "Yeah, I'm sorry too."

Tifa placed a hand on his leg under the table and whispered into his ear. "Are you okay?"

He smiled and nodded back at her. "Yeah, that wasn't him, it was completely me."

She was relived, but still a little shaken. "Okay, but if you start to feel anything, let me know. Don't try to hide it, all right?"

"I promise." Vincent said, giving her a small kiss.

Yokazi emerged from her room having donned a light jacket over her dress. She picked up her purse from the table by the door and waved for Vincent, Tifa, and Tseng to follow. Somehow Reno and Angel had gotten out of being invited.

Tseng held his old aunt's hand in his as they walked, with Vincent and Tifa following a short ways behind.

Tifa nudged Vincent. "Isn't that sweet how your brother's holding her hand like that?"

He shrugged. "Maybe she's holding him so he won't run off."

"I don't think so, Vincent." Tifa smiled. "Maybe I'm wrong, but I think your brother is a little more into this 'going to Temple' thing than you are."

"He was raised here a lot longer than me." Vincent sighed. "Maybe they managed to brainwash him into becoming another devoted follower."

She frowned slightly, looking up at him. "You are really bitter over this whole religion thing, aren't you?"

Vincent was growing uncomfortable with the course this conversation was on. He felt that an individual's religious views were one of the most private things about someone. His own personal distaste for religious reverence was not something he really wanted to rehash with her, but he knew she wouldn't let it rest until she got an explanation. "What good does it do, Tifa? I went with my family regularly as a child, and God still killed my mother and father leaving me an orphan. Where was God when Hojo was ripping me apart in lab? Do you know how many times I begged for God to set me free, or at the very least allow me to die? Don't get me wrong, I believe in a supreme being, I can't think of all this being created without one, but I don't think he is the gentle, all loving entity that religions try to make him out to be."

Tifa had grown up in a casually religious home, and despite all she had been through in her life, she still wished to think that if there was a God, that he was one of mercy. "What about all the good in your life? Can you really only see the bad? Look how you and Tseng were finally able to come back together, and what about Angel?"

He ran a hand through his tresses. "Look, no one really knows anything about God, do they? Hell, in case you forgot, Sephiroth almost became a God himself. That tells me that one of the prerequisites of gaining divinity obviously isn't being an all around great guy."

Tifa slid her hand into his metallic claw. Vincent looked down to see her holding it. "Wouldn't you rather come to my right side if you're going to do that?"

She cocked her head and gazed into his eyes. "A hand is a hand, Vincent. This one will do just fine. As long as it's yours."

Something inside him was touched by her willingness to treat that part of him as though it was the most natural thing in the world. "Tifa?"

"Yes?" She said, looking forward again.

"Thanks." He whispered, tightening his grip on her hand slightly.

It wasn't long before they reached the steps to the temple. Yokazi turned to Vincent before making her way up the stairs. "You do not have to come in. It is enough for me that you came this far."

Vincent sighed in relief at this reprieve. "Thank you, Aunt Yokazi."

The old woman smiled before she and Tseng disappeared. "You and your lady go enjoy the grounds."

Vincent looked around the temple complex, spotting a koi pond to its left. He led Tifa over to a bench close to the water and they sat.

Tifa had never seen such wonderful fish and she leaned over to see them better. "Oh Vincent, they're beautiful!"

He got an idea. "Just a minute, I'll be right back."

She watched after him as he disappeared around the corner of a building. He returned a few moments later carrying a small paper bag.

He sat back down next to her and handed her the bag. "Here."

She opened the bag, seeing that it was filled with small pellets that smelled like cat food. "What is this?"

Vincent gestured toward the water. "It's for the fish. You can feed them."

Tifa looked at him excitedly. "Really? They won't get scared?"

"No." He got up off the bench and knelt right beside the water. He reached back and took a small amount of the food into his right hand. Tifa watched in amazement as he placed his hand into the water and the fish came right up and started to eat. Once the food was gone, he moved his hand slowly under the water and petted an exceptionally large white and gold fish that stayed near the surface.

Tifa couldn't believe what she was seeing, and she came and knelt next to Vincent. "Why do they let you touch them? I've never seen fish do that."

He shook the water from his hand and looked at her. "They have no reason to fear us. People never harm them, and whenever they see someone, they think they will get fed. Try it, Tifa."

She took up some of the food into her hand and placed it into the water just as he had done. Tifa was delighted when the koi began to eat out of her hand. "Oh Vincent! This is great!"

He smiled at seeing that she was getting so much joy out of this. "I thought you might like it."

Tifa and Vincent knelt beside the pond feeding the fish until the bag was emptied. Once that was done, they laid back on the grass and stared up at the sky.

Tifa again reached out and grasped Vincent's cybernetic hand. "It's so beautiful here. Thanks."

"I used to come here a lot as a child and feed the fish." Vincent said quietly. "I always loved it for some reason. You know, these fish live so long that many of them are probably the same ones that were here then."

Hearing the slightly sad inflection in his voice, Tifa rolled over onto her side to look at him. "Someday, maybe we can have a pond like this."

He smiled up at the sky. The thought of him having a home where he could have such a thing seemed so remote to him. "I would like that, Tifa, I really would."

"Then why don't we just plan on it, then." She said, still staring at him. "Where would you want to live?"

He turned his head to look her in the eye. "I've never really thought of that."

"So, think of it now." She smiled.

He turned his gaze back skyward. "Some place where there aren't any bad memories. Maybe some place out in the country. I've had it with the city."

"Can't say I blame you there." Tifa reached up and touched his cheek. "There's got to be somewhere we can make our own memories."

Vincent looked at her again. "We'll find someplace, somewhere."


	34. Apology

Guilt's Cost: Part XXXIV

Apology

Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent lay on the grass with his eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face. He felt a shadow move over him, and looked up seeing a girl staring down at him.

She managed a weak smile. "Hi ya, Vince."

He sat up immediately, looking around nervously. "Yuffie? Where's that Genji guy?"

"He didn't really feel like coming out today." She said as she sat down next to Tifa.

Tifa was delighted to see her friend again. "Oh Yuffie! I'm so glad you're here. How are you?"

Yuffie stared down at the ground before her, obviously uncomfortable. "Yeah, I'm fine. I kind of came out looking for you two."

Tifa placed a hand on Yuffie's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Yuffie squirmed where she sat. "Uh, Vince, I just wanted to say that I know it wasn't you that attacked me last night or back all those years ago. When Tifa said that it was Chaos controlling you, I knew it was the truth. Even though I know you hated me, you really weren't the kind of person that would do _that_ sort of thing."

Vincent cocked an eyebrow, trying to cover his embarrassment over the events of which she spoke with a stoic façade. "I thank you for your forgiveness, and I apologize for not being able to control that demon. But Yuffie, I didn't hate you. Sure, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I didn't find you irritating at times, but hate is too strong a word."

She nodded without looking at him. "I should have respected you more and not have harassed you so much. I was kind of a pain, but I've grown up a lot since then. Now I know better, that there are just some people that you have to let come to you. Some people just don't find perky and persistent likable."

Tifa was taken aback by the girl's apology and explanation. This clearly was a sign that Yuffie had matured over the last few years. "Vincent was in a lot of pain back then and he was just trying to get through it. When he looked me up not too long ago, I realized that he was very different. He has a good heart and it's starting to show more all the time."

Yuffie looked at Tifa, her expression confused. "I saw you and Vincent on the bridge before I pointed you out to Genji, and maybe I'm mistaken, but what would Cloud think about you going around with Vincent like that?"

Tifa's eyes filled with tears, and she hung her head. "Cloud…"

Vincent put his arm around Tifa and looked Yuffie in the eye. "I'm afraid that Cloud is no longer with us."

Yuffie was still naive on some level and the real meaning of his statement eluded her. "What do you mean? Where did he go?"

Vincent shook his head slightly, knowing that he was going to have to spell things out for Yuffie; one of the things that had always bothered him about her. A girl that needs all the details and a man of few words apparently don't mix well. "Yuffie, Cloud is dead."

She covered her mouth with her hands, eyes growing wide. "What? How?"

"Suicide." Vincent said quietly. "I came to visit Tifa and he killed himself that night. Tifa and I have been traveling together ever since."

"Oh Tifa, I'm so sorry." Yuffie said, tears starting to mark her cheeks. "I had no idea. You never mentioned that he was having problems in your letters."

Tifa shrugged. "I didn't ever write about it, I was trying to pretend that everything between us was fine. Even though Aeris died all that time ago, he couldn't get over the heartache and that is what drove him to it."

Yuffie sniffed back the tears and sighed. "I'm really sorry Tifa. If there is anything I can do for you, let me know."

She smiled at her friend. Tifa had always liked Yuffie and her energy. "Thanks Yuffie."

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, as everyone became lost in their own thoughts about Cloud. Tifa was becoming depressed and needed to get them on another subject. "So Genji is your husband?"

Yuffie beamed with the pride of a smitten girl. "Yes he is! I was so lucky to get him! His family is very powerful and I have been in love with him since we were kids. Once I came back to Wutai with all that materia, Godo rewarded me with arranging our marriage. I couldn't have wished for anything more. He's so handsome."

Tifa shuddered on the inside thinking that Genji was quite brutish. "I'm glad you are so happy. He seems to be very devoted."

Yuffie's smile faltered for a moment as she remembered telling her husband that Vincent had attacked her seven years before. "Yeah, he would do anything to protect me. Gosh, if a guy even looks at me wrong he really goes after them. He's a real honor defender."

Vincent recalled all too well how strong Genji was and how ill tempered he had been the night before. "I doubt many people challenge him."

Yuffie grinned. "Nope. I can get away with anything and people won't dare to react. It's great."

Being aware of what a pest Yuffie could be, Vincent took her last statement to heart. "I don't doubt it."

Yuffie donned her confused look again. "So tell me, what are you two doing in Wutai if Cloud is dead, and what the Hell are Reno and Tseng doing here, too?"

Tifa took Vincent's hand in her own. "Well, Vincent and I are…involved."

Yuffie's confusion deepened. "You and Vincent? What about all that whiney Lucretia crap you used to spew all the time? 'Oh, I shall never love another' and all that?"

Vincent held Tifa's hand tighter and forced a smile. "I am beyond that now. I came to realize over the years that Tifa was by far more like me than anyone else. Apparently she has found something redeeming in me and has stayed."

Yuffie couldn't see what Tifa had found in Vincent. He was attractive and all, but that didn't seem like a good enough reason to put up with the world's most depressing person. "Okay, so what about being here and the two old Turks?"

Tifa giggled. "Well, turns out that Tseng was still alive and running ASRIO."

Vincent continued for her. "Being my brother, he wanted to help me and Tifa and so invited us to stay with him. Reno has been working there as well for some time."

Yuffie put up a hand. "Wait a second, back up. Tseng being alive somehow I can buy, but being your brother? Come on."

Tifa laughed out loud. "No, it's true! They are brothers! Moreover, Vincent has a daughter."

The thought of Vincent having reproduced was more than she could take. "The Hell? Since when?"

Vincent smiled at the thought of Angel. "She was created in a Shin Ra lab. Tseng and Reno broke her out of there and introduced her to me not too long ago. She and Reno are now engaged."

Yuffie fell over on her side laughing. "Oh man, that is too much! Stop it, you're killing me! You hate Reno! He wants to marry your kid? Oh geez!"

Tifa realized that Tseng had returned and she nudged Vincent. "They're back."

Vincent stood and faced his brother and Aunt. "Tseng, you remember Yuffie, right?"

He smiled and nodded at Yuffie, who was picking herself up off the ground. "Yes."

Yokazi looked at the girl. "You are Godo's daughter?"

Yuffie snapped into speaking Wutain. "Yes I am."

"Ah, that is nice." The old woman smiled. "You know my nephew Tsuvati?"

"Who?" Yuffie cocked her head.

Tseng laughed. "Vincent's name is Tsuvati."

Yuffie turned back to Vincent. "Holy crap! You're Wutain?"

Vincent rolled his eyes, becoming annoyed at having to rehash this information to everyone he met. "Yes, Yuffie. Born and raised."

Tseng rubbed salt into the wound. "Yuffie, we are Vatasis."

Yuffie stamped the ground. "Vatasis? Oh my God! You're kidding! Kisigaris and Vatasis are practically related! How come you never said anything about this before Vince?"

He narrowed his eyes. "You never asked."

"Holy crap!" Yuffie couldn't contain herself. "I've got to go and tell my dad about this."

Tifa embraced Yuffie before she ran off. "Maybe we can see you again before we go."

Yuffie stepped back. "I sure hope so."

Vincent stood smiling faintly. "Good bye."

Yuffie steeled herself and managed to gather the strength to do something that shocked most of those present. She ran over and threw her arms around Vincent. "Bye Vince."

He had to fight the urge to push her away from him. Vincent closed his eyes and gave in, lightly putting his arms around her in return. "Thanks Yuffie."


	35. Paging

Guilt's Cost: Part XXXV

Paging

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tseng sat on the couch later that afternoon. After eating lunch, the jetlag everyone was experiencing caught up and Tifa, Vincent, Reno, and Angel had turned in for an afternoon nap. Yokazi had stepped out for the afternoon to work the market. Just about to drift off himself, Tseng was snapped back to reality as the pager in his pocket went off. He pulled it out and looked to see who it was. He didn't recognize the number, but realized that from its area code that whoever it was had called from Junon.

He rose grudgingly from the couch and over to where the phone was in the kitchen. After dialing, he pulled a chair from the table and sat. 

Upon the fourth ring, a woman answered. "Tseng?"

He knew the voice. "Dr. Arlin?"

"Yes." There was urgency in her voice. "Brandon told me something I think you need to know."

Tseng smiled to himself. Brandon was Dr. Arlin's long distance boyfriend and also a doctor, the only one in Mideel. "What's that, Janice?"

"Are you sure this line is secure?" She asked, voice quiet.

It was rare that he had heard such concern in her. "I'm fairly certain it is, but I cannot guarantee it. What's wrong Janice?"

She knew that he could tell she was upset, as it was the only time he ever used her first name. "Without knowing that this line is secure, I can't really tell you. I think it would be for the best if we got back to the base to discuss what I have heard."

Tseng stood, knocking the chair he had been sitting on to the ground. Whatever it was must be serious since she was telling him to cut his vacation short. "It's important enough to get me back to work over, huh?"

She grew slightly irritated. "Look, if you were going to have another attack anytime soon, I'm sure it would have already happened. I have a pretty good feeling that you haven't exactly taken it easy as I ordered. But if what Brandon has suggested is true, and I have no reason to doubt him on this, it is something we have to act on. Shin Ra is bound to find out sooner or later, and that could only be bad. We are lucky that this hasn't gotten out over the last several years. Brandon didn't tell me before, hoping that it wouldn't become an issue, but he's getting afraid."

Tseng was thoroughly confused by her ranting. "Dr. Arlin, you need to calm down. If you want to meet me back at the base to discuss this, then that is what we should do. I trust your judgement on whatever this is."

"Okay." The doctor did her best to relax. "We need to get back in the base so I can brief you. I need you to think of who your most trusted man is, because you are going to need someone to go to Mideel and check up on this immediately."

"You don't think I can go myself?" Tseng bent down and righted the chair.

"Too risky." She sighed. "Everyone knows who you are, and if Shin Ra got wind of you being in Mideel, they would know something is up. You might want to think about sending Ms. Lockhart, she would be able to travel unnoticed, and she would be able to make a positive I.D."

Tseng's curiosity was seething. "Okay, we better cut off this conversation. I'll get back as soon as we can."

"Great." Dr. Arlin hung up the phone.

Tseng left the kitchen and stood in the deserted family room for a moment gathering his thoughts. He had several ideas of what could be going on, but none of them seemed right. Somewhere inside, he had a very bad feeling.

The door to Tifa and Vincent's room opened and his brother shuffled out. "Hey."

Tseng waived Vincent over. "Tsuvati, we need to go."

In a drowsy stupor Vincent furrowed his brow. "What? We have to stay for two weeks you said."

"That has been scrapped." Tseng looked at his brother. "Dr. Arlin just called, and there is something that really upset her. I don't know what it is, but it takes a lot to rile that woman. She wants us back at the base before she will give me any details."

The thought of getting out of Wutai sooner than anticipated suddenly sunk in. Vincent perked up as the sleepiness melted away. "I see. When are we leaving?"

"By tonight." Tseng pulled a communicator from his pocket. "I'm going to call the crew right now and get them back to the airship."

Vincent just nodded in acceptance and made his way back into his room. Tifa was lying on the bed asleep. He sat next to her and whispered into her ear. "Tifa, wake up."

She woke and squinted up at him. "What's up?"

He smiled to himself at how beautiful she was, even tired. "We have to get ready to go. Tseng needs to get back to the base."

Tifa sat up, still dazed from her nap. "Why?"

He shrugged. "I don't know and Tseng doesn't either, at least not yet. Dr. Arlin has something to tell him."

"Oh, okay." Tifa rose from the bed and stretched lazily. "Too bad, I really wanted to spend more time with Yuffie."

Vincent swallowed his pride. "Maybe we can come back later."

Tifa looked at him doubtfully. "Yeah right. You'll never bring me back here."

"Yes I will, if that is what you want." Vincent said, looking her in the eye to emphasize his sincerity.

Tifa was speechless for a moment. "You would come back here for me, even though you hate it so much?"

He stood up and ran his human hand down her cheek. "I would do anything to make you happy. I would march back into Hojo's lab if you asked. Anything."

Tifa swallowed hard to hear him say the part about Hojo so seriously. "But Vincent, I want to make you happy, too."

He smiled slightly. "All you have to do is be with me. That is all I will ever ask."

A knock came to their door and Tseng came in. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything, but if I could talk to you for a moment alone, Tifa."

She looked at Vincent. "Uh, sure."

Vincent excused himself and walked out of the room.

Tseng shut the door and approached Tifa. "I hope you didn't forget what I said last night. I don't want you and Vincent alone anymore. You two have been shut in here all afternoon with the door closed. I need to see to your safety."

She crossed her arms and frowned. "Tseng, in case you haven't noticed, Vincent and I are a couple, and we will need some alone time every now and then."

"I appreciate your feelings for my brother, and thank you for caring for him so much." Tseng said quietly as he stepped closer. "But you have no control over that demon inside him, and if anything were to happen to you, I would never be able to forgive myself."

Tifa turned away from him. "And like I told you before, facing that demon is a risk I am willing to take. You know as well as I do how much Vincent needs his privacy, and if you were to escort us constantly he would lose his mind."

"Tifa, look at me." Tseng growled.

She couldn't help but face him by his tone. "What?"

Tseng became angry at her refusal to obey his demands regarding Vincent. "I gave you two choices before, and let me remind you of them. Either you let someone stay with you and Vincent at all times, or I put him in stasis. I am not going to mess around with this. He is too dangerous now. We have no way of knowing when Chaos is coming back."

"No!" Tifa clenched her fists and held them at her sides. "Don't you dare threaten to put Vincent in stasis! That isn't funny!"

"I didn't intend for it to be humorous, Tifa." Tseng came even closer. "He is my brother, and I love him. In order to do right by him, I have to protect you. If that means that I have to throw him kicking and screaming into that stasis box, then that is what I will gladly do."

"You have a stasis box?" Tifa had thought this was an idle threat before now.

"I most certainly do." Tseng narrowed his eyes. "In fact, my agents got the very one he slept in under the Shin Ra mansion for thirty years. ASRIO took it from there when we got word that Shin Ra was going to re-establish a base there. So believe me, dear Tifa, when I say that I will put him out, because I will. Now, which do you choose? An escort or Vincent being put back to sleep?"

Inside, Tifa knew that Tseng was using his former Turk intimidation on her, but he had put enough fear into her to make her buckle to his will. "Fine, Tseng. Stay with us. You win. I just hope Vincent can stand it."

Tseng smiled to himself, proud that he had managed to break her. "Good. Get packed, I want all of us on that airship as soon as possible."

Tifa held back her tears as Tseng walked out, leaving the door open behind him. "Bastard," she whispered to herself.

Tseng stopped a few steps away and looked back over his shoulder at her. "I heard that, Tifa. Believe me, this is for your own good."

Vincent returned to the room, instantly feeling the tension in Tifa. "What was that about? Were you yelling at him? I thought I heard something."

She threw her arms around him and buried her face into his sweatshirt. "Vincent, I'm so afraid that I'm going to lose you!"

He placed his arms around her in return. "Hey, that's my line."

"No!" She took a step back. "Tseng won't let us be alone anymore. He's afraid that Chaos might come back and hurt me."

"Oh…" Vincent backed away and sat on the bed. "I see."

Tifa went back over to him and knelt before him on the floor. "I don't want that, but he insists. I don't know what to do."

Vincent thought for a moment, his face growing sad. "If that is what he thinks is best, then it probably is, but I won't like it."

"Can't you talk to him?" Tifa almost begged.

"Tifa, if he has his mind made up, then it's over. Besides, he's right. Chaos probably will come back again; it doesn't seem to take much anymore. If I hurt you when that happens, I don't think I could handle it." Vincent hung his head, not able to look her in the eye.

Tifa started to accept that Tseng's constant escort was going to happen, no matter how much she dreaded it. "It took so long for us to end up together, I guess I just hate the thought of not getting to spend time alone with you, getting to know you more."

He leaned forward and embraced her. "Tifa, I think you already understand me perfectly."


	36. Disobedience

Guilt's Cost: Part XXXVI

Disobedience

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Uh, Merry Christmas! I feel weird putting that at the top of this chapter…it seems out of place, but happy day none the less!

By late afternoon everyone was back on the airship. Tseng had left a note for their aunt explaining that they had to leave, and that he would be back as soon as work allowed. He had felt bad about just leaving the letter, knowing that it would have been better to go meet her at the market and tell her personally, but time didn't allow it.

Angel and Reno had been disappointed to go, having planned on doing several things while in Wutai. Reno was particularly reluctant; knowing that it would be a long time before Tseng let him have another vacation.

Everyone was on the flight deck of the ship. Reno and Angel were standing toward the back of the bridge, discussing something quietly in the corner. Vincent and Tifa were planted on the floor before the glass staring at the world going by. Tseng hovered near the helmsman checking the controls over the pilot's shoulder.

Vincent had slipped back into his quiet mood, still disturbed by Tseng's concern over his ability to control Chaos. At the very least, he was relived about getting out of Wutai. He still wore the outfit that Tifa had provided him with earlier in the day, but now hid it away beneath his old red cloak.

Tifa sat with her head resting on Vincent's shoulder. She too was quiet, stewing in her disappointment of leaving Wutai and having to have an escort with her and Vincent at all times. Part of her wanted to warn Vincent of Tseng's threat of putting him in stasis, but somehow she knew this was a piece of information that would hurt him deeply. The last thing that she wanted to do was to upset him to the point of Chaos erupting and so she kept her secret. She hadn't even been able to look Tseng in the eye since his talk with her earlier that day. There was anger within her, but it was tempered with shame, as she knew very well that Tseng was only trying to see to her safety. If he didn't really care, then he wouldn't have ordered her and Vincent to stay in his presence.

Vincent looked down at Tifa as she sighed sadly. "Are you okay?"

"Sure." She was lying, and not covering it well.

He put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. "Tifa, don't worry about it. Everything will be fine."

"I know." Tifa looked up into his crimson eyes. "It's just I want to be able to be free."

"Me too." Vincent whispered.

Tifa knew that his wish for freedom was a desire to no longer be possessed by the demon. It stung her heart to hear the hint of sadness in his voice. Her problems suddenly didn't seem so big in comparison with what Vincent had to go through every day of his life. How she longed to be able to reach inside and pull the real Vincent out of the torn and altered body beside her. As she continued to gaze into his depressed eyes, she soon found herself kissing him. Sensing his pain, Tifa knew she needed to help him forget it for a moment.

Vincent pulled her closer as he felt her kiss go from sweet to passionate. Never one for public displays of affection he became somewhat uncomfortable as he could feel Reno and Angel's eyes upon him and Tifa. Although he and Tifa were facing away from the others, he pulled his cloak in closer around him to hide any evidence of his growing excitement.

Tifa slid her hand under his cloak and rested her hand on his thigh. She let the back of her hand press up higher, causing Vincent to writhe in his aroused anxiety. Tifa pulled back from him for a moment and looked over her shoulder at the others. Reno and Angel had taken a passing notice of her and Vincent, but they had resumed their conversation. Tseng was engrossed in the navigation statistics of the ship and paid no heed to them. "Vincent, he's not looking."

Vincent opened his eyes and looked at her. His arousal had made his mind unclear. "What?"

"Your brother's not looking." She motioned to the open door to the bridge immediately to their left. "We can go, if you want."

Like any male, he was unable to refuse such an offer. "All right."

The two of them slipped from the bridge unnoticed. They debated on where to go. There was a momentary thought of returning to the cabin they had shared on the trip to Wutai, but that was thrown out immediately. They knew that was the first place that Tseng would come looking for them once he noticed they were gone.

They finally made their way into the maintenance bay, finding it the best hiding spot on the ship. Once in a back corner of the darkened room, they fell into each other's arms again. Their lips met passionately, and Tifa's hand soon found its way back to where she could tease him. Vincent purred in anticipation, and allowed his hands to make their way under her clothing as well. She was given chills by the sensation of his metal hand on her skin.

Vincent quickly pealed away the shorts she was wearing, as well as the undergarments beneath. Tifa at the same time had managed to undo his belt and the jeans that he had on.

Vincent slid his cybernetic arm under her and easily lifted her up so that she was supported by him with her back against the wall. With her like this Vincent freed himself from his jeans and quickly drove into her. Although he was extremely worked up by now, he was still gentle enough not to hurt her. Tifa sighed deeply as he took her, yet to ever be disappointed by his performance.

"Oh God, Vincent…" Tifa said quietly into his ear, making him even more excited.

With his mind clouded by his passion, Vincent felt Chaos surge up with in him. The gentle movements that he had been making suddenly broke into violent, forceful thrusts. 

Tifa screamed in agony as she felt a terrible pain starting to saw away at her. The warm feeling of blood began to make its way down her legs.

Vincent's human hand flew up and covered her mouth quelshing her cry of agony. "Come on, Tifa, you don't want anyone to find us, do you?"

Her eyes grew wide as she saw the wings unfold out behind Vincent's back. She tried to fight him off, but there was no escape.

Chaos growled as he raped her, enjoying Tifa's pain as much as the act itself. "Tifa, I can see why he is so willing to fuck you. This really is worth while."

She managed to pull his hand from her mouth for a moment. "Vincent! Please make him stop!"

Chaos laughed as he continued to drill at her. "Hold on, bitch. This won't take too long, if you're lucky. I'm sure this cock Hojo gave Vincent must hurt like Hell, huh?"

Her attempted response was cut off as his hand again choked off her words. She felt something slithering around her body, realizing that it was Chaos's tail. He brought it up between their bodies, allowing the tip of it to slip between his hand and her mouth.

"Why don't you take this while I work?" The demon growled as he slid the end of his tail into her mouth and down her throat.

Tifa thought she was going to die. The demon's tail made breathing almost impossible and she gagged as he pushed it in further.

Just when she thought her misery couldn't get any worse, Chaos reached his climax, and allowed the metal talons of Vincent's claw to tear into her thigh as he clutched her tighter.

Once done, Chaos stepped back, allowing Tifa to fall to the ground in a pool of her own blood. He shed the rest of Vincent's form and the demon had to stoop in order to stand inside the low ceilinged room. "How was that?"

Tifa could make no response. She lay curled on the floor, with her hands pressed down against her female anatomy. The pain she was in was exquisite.

Chaos turned to the door as he heard it open. Tseng stood there with an expression of horror on his face. "What have you done?"

The demon sneered. "Just giving Tifa what she asked for."

Tseng unholstered his gun and aimed it at the demon. "Chaos, let Vincent out!"

"Why? So you can continue to control his life?" Chaos took a step toward the former Turk. "Shoot me, go ahead. You know it won't hurt me. But when Vincent comes back, he might look badly upon such a wound."

Reno appeared in the doorway next to Tseng, his night staff drawn and crackling with energy. "Are you kidding? How often does this bastard come out of Vincent?"

Chaos had no more love for Reno than Vincent did. "Are you going to shock me again?"

Tseng knew Tifa needed help soon. "Let me get Tifa, Chaos."

The demon snorted. "You want some, too?"

"Cut the shit, Chaos!" Tseng fired his gun, hitting the demon in the shoulder. "Let my brother out!"

Chaos gazed down at the wound torn into his flesh, disbelieving that Tseng had done such a thing. He knew Tseng was no longer in the mood to play. He needed to let Vincent come back before he found his life in danger. "I was done anyway."

Tseng and Reno watched in amazement as the demon collapsed to the floor, quickly taking back Vincent's form. 

Vincent sat up, in complete confusion. He saw Tifa lying next to him, unconscious and bleeding. "Tifa! Oh God, Tifa!"

Tseng ran over and grabbed Vincent by the arm, pulling him away from her roughly. Vincent had little strength to resist, and tears were pouring down his cheeks as he realized what had happened.

Tseng looked back at Reno. "Don't just stand there! Get her to the sick bay and get Angel!"

Reno silently nodded and did as ordered. He picked up Tifa's bloody body in his arms and made his way quickly from the room.

Vincent desperately tried to follow, but was held back by Tseng. "Let me go! I have to see if she's all right!"

Tseng jerked his brother from the room and drug him down the corridor. "Shut the Hell up, Vincent. You're going to the detention cell. I am fucking pissed right now. I gave you and Tifa an order and you disobeyed. Now look what happened!"

Vincent followed his brother reluctantly. "But is Tifa okay?"

"I don't know, Tsuvati!" Tseng shouted as he continued to lead Vincent to the brig. "You really fucked up."

To hear his brother cursing let Vincent know exactly how angry he was. "It was Chaos… I didn't mean to hurt her."

Tseng had nothing more to say. They finally reached the small detention cell on the lower deck of the ship. Tseng opened the door and cast Vincent inside. Once the door was locked, Tseng turned away to go check on Tifa.

Vincent crumbled to the floor, sobbing. "Please tell me if Tifa is okay…"

Tseng gave his brother little regard as he walked out of the room. "I'll come back when I'm damn good and ready. But I'm not letting you out. I don't think your wound is fatal."

Vincent had given little regard to the bullet hole in his left shoulder. The wound had pierced between the flesh of his body and the metal of his left arm. Blood dripped from the injury slowly. Being in such shock over Tifa's situation, Vincent could not feel any pain whatsoever. He clawed at the floor to the cell with his cybernetic hand. "What have I done?"


	37. Aftermath

Guilt's Cost: Part XXXVII

Aftermath

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tseng went to the sick bay anxious to check on Tifa. Reno was standing just outside the door, and grabbed Tseng's arm as he tried to walk by. "Hey Boss, we got to wait out here."

Tseng furrowed his brow and glared at Reno. "Why is that?"

"Cause Angel wants to work on Tifa in privacy. Tifa's injuries are kind of personal, you know." Reno said, allowing his hand to fall away from Tseng.

He nodded in acceptance, realizing that the last thing that Tifa needed was more people around her while in such a compromised state. "You're right. Any word on how she is though?"

"Well, Angel came out and gave me an update a few minutes ago." Reno leaned against the wall, running a hand through his misshapen hair. "Tifa's conscious and everything. I guess there are just a lot of severe lacerations down in her little girl area."

Tseng fought the urge to smile at Reno's anatomical description. "But she will be all right?"

Reno shrugged. "Angel didn't seem too worried about Tifa's physical state, but she said that right after she got here, Tifa was ranting about some sort of traumatic experience from her past."

"Oh." Tseng hung his head. He was all too aware of how damaging rape could be emotionally, especially when it wasn't the first time one had experienced it. "Poor Tifa. I knew something bad would happen if she went around alone with Vincent."

Reno noticed the way his boss spit out his brother's name. "You're pretty ticked at him, aren't you?"

Tseng leaned up against the wall next to Reno. "I would have hoped he could have used better judgement, that's all. Everything bad that happened to Tifa was done at the hands of Chaos, but Vincent does hold at least a small responsibility for this."

"Yeah," Reno sighed. "But the argument could be made that Tifa holds the same amount of blame. They both disregarded your order and crept off together."

"True." Tseng looked down at his shoes. "When Angel is done here, we need to take her to see Vincent to check on his gunshot."

Reno nodded. "Oh, I forgot about that. Is he okay?"

Tseng laughed. "As though you care!"

"Please!" Reno rolled his eyes and flipped his hand. "I ain't asking for myself. But Vinny does happen to be my girl's Daddy."

On some level, Reno was lying and Tseng knew it. "Whatever you say. But I think Vincent will be fine. After watching him heal overnight from his last set of wounds, I have no doubt that this one will fade as quickly."

"So what now?" Reno asked, looking over at his companion.

Tseng shrugged. "What choice do I have? He will have to stay in custody until we get back to the base. Once we're there, he is going back into stasis. He is too dangerous to keep awake."

Reno raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, but that sure is going to throw a big one at Tifa and Angel, don't ya think?"

"I don't think Tifa and Angel will mind at the moment." Tseng said bitterly.

Reno shook his head, disappointed in his boss's lack of insight. "Wrong, old man. Both those women love him, no matter what that demon does on his behalf. Chaos could attack them a thousand times over and neither of them would want Vincent locked away for it."

"Then you and the women have more faith in love than I." Tseng said, taking a few steps away from Reno.

Reno could feel this conversation heading toward very uncomfortable ground, but his deep friendship for Tseng kept him from running away. "Just because you were hurt and used doesn't diminish the feelings others have."

"What do you know about my life?" Tseng growled between his teeth, facing away from his companion.

Reno came over and put a hand on Tseng's shoulder. "More than you think."

Tseng turned to face him. "Oh really?"

"Yes." Reno crossed his arms over his chest, emitting some pride in knowing some very intimate details of Tseng's life. "I know about Rufus and what happened between you two. I'm sorry you got hurt by him, but I knew all along that he was a stupid fuck, not worthy of you."

Tseng's eyes grew wide upon hearing that Reno knew of his tryst with the former President. "How did you know?"

"Cause I'm your friend, and I ain't as stupid as you think." Reno smiled. "Just don't put your bitterness about love onto other people, that's all."

Tseng managed a faint smile for his friend. "Thank you, Reno."

"Yeah well, I'm starting to feel a little weird here, so I think I better find something else to do now." Reno said, taking a few paces back.

Tseng had an idea. "Take my brother some clothes if you will. I don't want him laying there in that cell with nothing on."

"Right." Reno smirked and headed down the corridor.

A few minutes later, Reno reached the detention area with a bundle of his own clothes in his arms. He walked up to the bars of Vincent's cell and found him still lying on the floor.

Reno reached out and knocked on the bars to get Vincent's attention. "Come on, old man. I got something for you."

Vincent didn't move. "Unless it's a bullet that you want to put into my brain, go away."

"Oh come on!" Reno leaned up against the bars, realizing that he might be in over his head. "You know as well as I do that I don't use a gun! But I do have some clothes for you."

Vincent failed to find any humor in Reno's remark, but the knowledge that there was something for him to wear got his attention. "Push the clothes through the bars."

Reno did as ordered. "Now don't go messing these up, I want them back."

Vincent sat up slightly and reached over to the bundle with his clawed hand. He drove his talons through the fabric and pulled the garments to him. There was an irritating screech as his talons scraped the metal floor beneath.

Reno sighed as Vincent purposefully damaged his loaned outfit. "God Damned, you're a real class act, you know that?"

Vincent didn't respond as he started to pick through the pile. Reno had brought a pair of loose navy colored sweatpants, an old stained white tee shirt, and a pair of red boxers. Everything about the outfit screamed Reno on his day off, and Vincent felt some disdain in knowing that it was likely Reno had picked these clothes on purpose.

Reno watched as Vincent examined the items. Reno, in turn was studying Vincent. Never having seen him unclothed, Reno was getting his first look at what Hojo had truly done to the former Turk. The reptilian skin on Vincent's body Reno had seen before, but the fact that the lower half of the man's body was made up of cybernetic amendments was something he hadn't been aware of before. "Damn man, I used to think that the arm was the only thing that Hojo did to you."

"No." Vincent said flatly as he stood up, pulling on the boxers. He had no real desire to speak with anyone at the moment, much less Reno.

Reno could tell that Vincent was getting annoyed at his continued presence and he liked it. "Not feeling to chatty, huh?"

Vincent glared at him after pulling the shirt over his head. The weak flow of blood from his injury began to seep through the fabric. "No."

"Come on, Vinny." Reno rested his head against the bars. "I just want to help."

"I doubt it." Vincent sat back down on the floor after slipping on the pants. "If you really wanted to help you'd kill me before I harm anyone else."

"Don't think the Misses would like that too much." Reno stuck his arms through the bars making him look like a forlorn prisoner. "Besides, I think I kind of like you, too."

"Bullshit." Vincent spat.

Reno fidgeted with his hands. He was going to admit something to Vincent that was out of his nature. "No, I really do."

Vincent glared up at him. "Why?"

Reno shrugged. "Oh Hell, I don't know. Maybe because if it wasn't for you, I never would have met the girl of my dreams."

"Fortunately, she is nothing like me." Vincent flipped his hair over his shoulder.

"Thank God no!" Reno smiled. "I couldn't do her if every time I looked into her face I saw you! That would be too fucking weird."

Vincent smirked, almost touched by Reno's remark. "Good to know that being with her isn't fulfilling some sick homosexual fantasy you have regarding me."

Reno's eyes went wide. "Was that a joke?"

Vincent's face remained stoic. "More of a declaration of my relief than an attempt at humor."

"Yeah, I didn't think so." Reno smiled.

Vincent resigned to his need to ask about Tifa. "How is she?"

"What, your daughter in bed?" He asked, almost serious.

"No, Reno." Vincent felt a flame of annoyance flicker. "Tifa."

He shook his head. "Couldn't tell you, I've never slept with her."

Vincent shot up to his feet, enjoying how Reno backed away from the bars when he did so. "No, how's Tifa doing, moron."

"Angel's working on her. She thinks Tifa will be fine." Reno answered, serious for the first time in a while.

"I can't bear to think what I've done." Vincent hung his head.

"It was the demon, Vinny." Reno crossed his arms. "Everyone knows that."

Vincent made his way to the small bed in the cell and threw himself down upon it. He no longer felt like talking. The guilt and pain of what had happened was choking him and he rolled over to face the wall, not wanting Reno to see the tears starting.

Reno stood there for a few more moments until he realized that Vincent was crying. This wasn't his department and so he took his leave of the brig.

***

Tseng paced out front of the sick bay nervously. He wanted to go check up on his brother but felt obligated to stay here until Tifa was all right. Finally Angel stepped out.

"Hey, Tseng." She said looking very tired.

"How is she?" He asked.

Angel smiled. "Fine. I had a lot of suturing to do but I think she's okay. There were some wounds I couldn't reach, but they will heal. The bleeding has at least abated."

Tseng was relieved and it showed. "Good, I was worried."

Angel stepped closer to him. "She said it was the demon that did that?"

Tseng nodded. "Yes. I found him attacking her in the maintenance bay. Once Reno showed up, Chaos submitted and let Vincent come back."

"That wasn't done by a demon's anatomy." Angel said, looking down at the ground. She had seen demon rape victims before and knew what damage they caused.

"He used Vincent's body." Tseng said, knowing what was on her mind. "It was Chaos though, I promise."

Angel sighed. "This is all so weird. I know I haven't known my father for very long, but how could he let this happen?"

"He didn't choose for that to occur." Tseng placed an arm around his niece's shoulders. "The demon erupts and he has no way of controlling it. I had to shoot him, and I was wondering if you could go with me to check on Vincent."

"Yeah, let me just get my medical bag." Angel said before disappearing into the sick bay again. 

Tseng peeked in through the door, getting a glimpse of Tifa sleeping in a bed. Her color seemed ghostly, but at least she didn't appear to be in any pain at the moment.

Angel came back and took Tseng's hand as they made their way to Vincent. They got to the brig finding him exactly where Reno had left him. Tseng used his passkey to unlock the cell and Angel and him went in. Vincent didn't move as they neared.

Angel sat on the edge of the bed, able to see the growing blood stain on the left shoulder of his shirt. "Father, can I take a look?"

He made no attempt to reply, simply rolling onto his back. Angel got up and pulled the shirt off of him. She quickly found the small wound at the union of his mechanical arm and body. It wasn't located anywhere critical and was just a flesh wound. She bent down and rummaged through her bag before coming up with some gauze and antiseptic.

Vincent eyed her suspiciously. "Do you really feel the need to treat it?"

"That's why Tseng had me come down here." Angel replied, seeing the pain on Vincent's face.

"It will be fine, so why don't you just leave it?" He was feeling anxiety over the thought of his wound being messed with.

Angel threw her supplies back down into her bag and put her hands on her hips. "What is it? What do you want? I can't fix whatever is wrong inside you, so why won't you at least let me take care of the outside?"

Vincent recoiled from her obvious frustration. "I don't mean anything personal by it, I just would rather be left alone. In case you failed to notice before, I hate being 'worked' on."

"No, I noticed." Angel fell back onto the edge of the bed and looked over at Tseng. "We want to help you, Father. I just wish you'd let us."

He turned back onto his side to face the wall. "But you can't… no one can help me. I am a monster… I hurt Tifa, and who's to say I won't hurt the two of you?"

Tseng stepped closer. Seeing Vincent's torment hurt him. "I can help you, at least, I can see that you harm no one else until my men find a way to get that demon out of you."

"How?" Vincent said quietly, already fearing the answer.

"I have the stasis chamber back at the base." Tseng knelt down on the floor. "When we get back, you can go back into it until we figure out what to do."

Angel gasped at the notion of her father being taken from her in that way. "Isn't there anything else you can do?"

Tseng shook his head sadly. "Not that I can think of. But this way everyone will be safe."

Vincent closed his eyes, letting more tears fall. "What choice do I have? It is as close to death as you will let me get, so I will go willingly."


	38. Common Bond

Guilt's Cost: Part XXXVIII

Common Bond

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa wasn't sure if she was having a dream or a flashback. What she was reliving seemed so vivid that it was most likely the latter.

She found herself in Nibelheim, before it was destroyed by Sephiroth and then rebuilt by Shin Ra. Tifa was strolling through town, tears marking her cheeks as the burden of her mother's death just a few days before tore her heart. At fourteen years of age, she now found herself the woman of the house, and she was slowly making her way toward the market to pick up things for her and her father. At home she did her best to hide her sadness, knowing that her father needed her to be strong for him but now alone in the street, she could no longer hide the tears.

Tifa walked faster, knowing that she was getting near the hangout of the local bully pack. These boys had taunted and teased her most of her life, and she hated the fact that in order to get anywhere in town she had to pass 'their' territory. They always made her feel terrible with their catcalls and comments on her body. She was already self-conscious enough about being an early bloomer without their commentary.

Just as she passed the alley where they seemed to always be milling about, she felt a chill go down her spine as she felt the eyes of the oldest member of the pack upon her.

"Hey, there's Tifa." The seventeen-year-old leader sneered to the others.

Tifa tried to keep walking, but had too stop when he reached out and grabbed her wrist. "Let me go, Rulius!"

He laughed, inciting a snicker amongst the other four boys present. "Oh, we just wanted to share our sympathy for your mama's death, that's all."

"I have to go." Tifa said, not able to look the older boy in the eyes. She wished that just this once Rulius would let her go without further teasing.

He tightened his grip on her. "I was thinking that maybe I should help you forget all your troubles for a while."

Tifa's heart jumped into her throat. Rulius had never talked to her in the tone he was using now, and she didn't like it. "Please, let me go!"

In a move of surprising speed, Tifa found herself spun around with Rulius's arm around her neck. She struggled against him, but could do nothing as he drug her down the alley. Rulius covered Tifa's mouth with his hand, and shouted out to the other boys. "Move the dumpsters so no one can follow us!"

Tifa soon found herself thrown into a pile of garbage bags, with Rulius looming over her. He took something from his pocket, and her eyes went wide as he flicked open his knife.

"What are-" She was silenced as he knelt down before her, placing the tip of his blade beneath her chin.

"No no, Tifa." He said smiling. "You need to be quiet, or I'm gonna cut your throat out."

Tifa felt the heat of tears on her face. They were no longer the tears of mourning, but rather ones of fear. She saw the other boys, all between the ages of fifteen and sixteen gather around.

"No one's coming, right?" Rulius asked the others.

"Naw." The shortest of the group replied. "What we gonna do?"

Rulius took his knife and started to tear away at Tifa's shirt. "I promised ol' Tifa here we'd give her a good time."

The other boys all giggled with excitement, realizing what their leader had in mind.

Rulius pulled away the remains of Tifa's blouse and became annoyed as she tried to hide herself away with her arms. "You guys want to get over here and help? Little bitch wants to make this difficult."

Tifa froze up as she felt the hands of the other boys upon her. They held her down against the trash she was laying upon. No longer able to see her body, she closed her eyes as she felt Rulius use his knife again, this time tearing into the fabric of her shorts. She wanted to scream for help, but feared Rulius's knife.

A few moments later, an involuntary cry escaped Tifa as her virginity was cruelly stolen by Rulius. Her struggles against those holding her started anew. There were just too many of them for her to fight. She finally felt Rulius withdraw from her and he appeared in her line of sight again.

"Who's next?" He asked the group.

Tifa soon felt another push his way in, and Tifa gave into her desire to scream. Her cries echoed through the alley until one of the boys managed to get her mouth covered again.

"Hey, what's going on?" Someone yelled.

Rulius jumped and took a step away from Tifa. "Fuck off, Strife! This isn't any of your business!"

Cloud had been walking home from a game of baseball when Tifa's screams drew his attention. He now stood on top of one of the dumpsters blocking the alley with his bat in his hand. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the alley, he saw Tifa lying beneath one of Rulius's cronies. "Tifa!"

The other boys noticed Cloud and quickly got away from Tifa, including the one that had been on her. Although Cloud had been an object of ridicule, he now had a reputation as a short fused and violent kid. Despite the fact that all those in Rulius's gang had knives, no one was about to challenge Cloud with his bat. Several of them had suffered concussions from it before, and nothing was worth that.

As Cloud jumped off the dumpster and made his way toward Tifa, the gang scattered down the alley, calling out obscenities at him as they did so.

Cloud knelt beside Tifa, and cradled her in his arms. The gang had a reputation for attacking girls, and he knew all too well what had been done to Tifa.

She barely responded as he held her, still in too much shock and fear. Tifa just lay trembling in his arms.

"Tifa, are you okay?" He asked her gently, rocking her.

***

"Tifa, are you okay?" Tseng sat on the edge of her bed, shaking her gently with his hand.

She opened her eyes slowly; her vision blurred from the sedation that Angel had given her after the attack. Tseng's long black hair caught her eye and in confusion, she whispered, "Vincent?"

He smiled. "No, it's me, Tseng. I came to see how you were."

"Oh, I'm fine." The pain medications she had been given made this statement seem true.

"You've been talking in your sleep." He said.

Tifa grew embarrassed, afraid of what he may have heard. She had been reliving that long ago attack time and again since Chaos had assaulted her. "What did I say?"

Tseng's expression grew sad. "I couldn't understand much, but I heard enough to realize that what happened yesterday wasn't the first time."

Tifa tried to sit up, but the weakness she felt kept her from doing so. "I've been asleep for awhile…"

"Tifa," Tseng leaned closer to her, "If you need to talk about something, I'm here for you."

Tifa tried to hide the tears. "How's Vincent? Why isn't he here?"

"He's fine, and he's somewhere safe." Tseng reached out and wiped a tear from her cheek. "Right now, we need to worry about you."

She knew he was genuinely concerned and gave in. "You're right, it wasn't the first time."

He nodded knowingly. "But that first time still seems like yesterday, huh?"

Tifa moved to nuzzle into his side. Tseng pulled his legs up onto the bed so that he could hold Tifa, knowing that was what she wanted. 

Tifa closed her eyes and enjoyed the feel of Tseng next to her. He both felt and smelled so much like Vincent that she was able to imagine he was. "How do you know?"

Tseng sighed. "Because it happened to me, too."

"Really?" Tifa was comforted by his willingness to open to her.

Tseng kissed the top of her head. "Yes, when I first joined the Turks. With the Wutain-Shin Ra war still so fresh in everyone's memory, Wutains were still looked down upon in Midgar."

"And that's why Vincent changed his name?" She asked.

"Yes," Tseng replied. "He could get away with changing his name and pretending not to be Wutain thanks to his appearance. But I didn't have that luxury. Even if I changed my name, I'm afraid my ethnicity would still have been obvious."

"So what happened?" Tifa asked.

Tseng held her closer. "I was out alone making my way to a bar when I ran into a rather drunk group of Shin Ra guards. I didn't have my gun yet, and wasn't able to defend myself against them. They beat me badly and I thought I was going to die. Most of them left after I fell to the ground unable to move anymore, but one of them stayed. I guess it doesn't take too much imagination to realize what he did."

Another tear fell from Tifa's eye as she was overwhelmed by the sadness of his story. She could see the tears in his eyes as well. "I'm sorry, Tseng."

"It's all right." He wiped his eyes with his free hand. "I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone."

"Thank you, Tseng. You've made me feel better." Tifa smiled faintly. "But I want to see Vincent."

"We're almost home, and once we are, I'll take you to see him, I promise." Tseng kissed the top of her head again.


	39. Cell Transfer

Guilt's Cost: Part XXXIX

Cell Transfer

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The airship arrived back at Costa del Sol by early afternoon. Upon it's landing, Tifa was taken to the infirmary inside the base to undergo an evaluation by Dr. Arlin, Angel escorting her on the way. Tseng found Reno before he left the ship.

"Reno, I have a favor to ask." Tseng said, making his way to where his friend was standing on the flight deck.

"Sure." Reno replied, running his hands through his still uncombed hair.

"I am going into the base to have some things made ready. I want you to go retrieve my brother and bring him to the detention block." Tseng held out a pair of handcuffs.

Reno put his hands up and took a step back. "Sorry Boss, I ain't into that kind of thing."

"Cut the crap, Reno." Tseng tossed the cuffs to him. "I don't think he'd give you any trouble now, but just in case."

He caught the cuffs in his right hand and stared at them blankly. "You're really going to go through with this aren't you?"

Tseng furrowed his brow. "Putting him back to sleep, you mean?"

"Yeah." He answered simply.

He turned and started off. "I have no other choice. When you get him down to the detention block, you will know which cell is to be his."

Reno slouched as he walked toward the brig, reluctant and afraid to face Vincent alone. The handcuffs jingled at his side as he made his way through the corridor, and he soon found himself taping out some anonymous tune with them against his leg. He reached the brig deck, finding Vincent slumped up against the bars.

"Okay, Vinny, time to move out." Reno said, dangling the cuffs before him.

Vincent looked over his shoulder at him, seemingly annoyed. He stood and faced away from the door, sticking his wrists through the small portal in the cell's door so Reno could cuff him before opening the cell.

Reno reached out and latched one cuff around Vincent's human wrist. He hesitated before touching the metal one, half-expecting Vincent to slash out at him with his talons.

Vincent grew impatient. "Get on with it, Reno. I won't hurt you."

Reno was hit by the hollowness of Vincent's tone and with a quick movement secured Vincent's other wrist. "There, isn't that cozy?"

Again, Vincent did not respond. He remained motionless as Reno opened the door to the cell. He then took a few steps forward to Reno. "Let's go."

Reno slipped his arm through the bend of Vincent's human one. "Come on, baby, got to get you to the prom."

Vincent gave no attention to his companion's ill-fated attempt at humor. He just walked purposefully; keeping his eyes fixed down on the floor as Reno lead him from the airship.

Reno couldn't bear the silence as they went, fearing that it might be a sign that Chaos was close. "So Vinny, you really gonna let him do it?"

"Who do what?" Vincent glanced only briefly at Reno.

Reno wiggled the arm he had woven through Vincent's, causing him to sway a bit. "Big bad Tseng gonna toss you in the box."

Vincent hung his head again as they made their way across the airfield toward the traffic tower. "Yes, he wants me to go back into stasis, and I agree with his reasons. I cannot live knowing that I hurt Tifa."

Reno quit walking, pulling Vincent to a stop as well. "If you don't mind my opinion, I don't think you should."

Vincent looked vexedly at Reno. "Why are you so suddenly willing to see me stay awake?"

"No, I never said I wanted you asleep." Reno looked down at the ground. "I think you got me all wrong, gramps. I'm just thinking about the ladies, that's all. Why not just have Tseng keep you in a cell instead of stasis? I'm sorry, but I think crawling back into that box is the coward's way out. What if Tseng's guys don't find someway to get the demon out of you? Is that it? Are Tifa and Angel going to be left without you for the rest of their lives? You're not even going to try to fight Chaos out of you yourself?"

Vincent narrowed his eyes. The last person who he wanted advise from at the moment was this man. "Reno, I have been fighting that demon since I was taken out of that stasis box seven years ago. You have no idea what it has been like. Besides, Tifa suffering the heartbreak of losing me like this is nothing compared to losing her life. In case you forgot, I almost killed her yesterday. I haven't even seen her since then. To me that is an obvious sign that she doesn't care anymore, and I for one don't blame her."

Reno grew angry; realizing that Vincent was as big a stubborn pain in the ass as Tseng. "Look here, you sorry fuck! Tifa hasn't come to see you because she has been under sedation until now. Angel wouldn't let her get out of bed anyway. But do you know what the first thing was she asked when she did wake up?"

Vincent just looked back at him blankly.

"That's right, you self absorbed bastard," Reno leaned closer to him, "She says 'Hey where's Vinny?' She didn't scream about how she hates you, or that she hoped you were dead, no way! She asked about how _you_ were. 'Oh, is Vinny okay?' That what she asks. Holy shit you're stupid for an ex-Turk!"

Vincent dropped his gaze back to the ground. Reno's words hurt, and normally he would have lashed out at him, but with his spirit shattered, they just passed through him with little impact. "If you are done, I would like to go to my cell now."

As Vincent tried to start walking again, Reno jerked him back to a halt so hard he stumbled. Reno was furious for Vincent's lack of response. "God Damn it! What do I have to do to get you to listen to me?! Beat the shit out of you? Is that what it's going to take?"

"Feel free." Vincent said, still refusing to look at his captor. "While you're at it, do me a favor and kill me."

"Argh!" Reno threw his free hand up in the air, surrendering to Vincent's refusal to see the light. "Fine, let's go. You want to rot in that fucking box, go right ahead. I'm the one that's going to have to try and console Angel on the loss of her father. Would have been nice for you to have at least tried to be a part of her life."

"I wasn't responsible for her creation, so don't go trying to dump some parental guilt on me. She did just fine without me for all these years, and I'm sure she'll get over it." Vincent said, finally looking up into Reno's eyes.

Against his better judgement, Reno hauled off and decked Vincent as hard as he could manage. Vincent recoiled weakly from the blow, finally straightening back up to face Reno again. "That was very nice, Reno. Striking a bound man. You are quite the brave fighter, aren't you?"

"Fuck you!" Reno let go of Vincent completely and started walking toward the air tower. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the prison keys, stopping only briefly to hurl them back at Vincent. "Take your own sorry ass to jail. I'm fucking done with you!"

Once Reno had disappeared through the door to the base, Vincent stared down piteously at the ground where the keys had landed. With his hands bound behind his back, he had only one means of getting them. He fell to his knees and bent forward carefully, managing to catch the small key ring in his teeth. It took some doing for him to get back up, but after several attempts he struggled to his feet.

Reno had left the door to the base open and Vincent entered, awkwardly pulling the door closed behind him. Having been able to stroll the base during Tifa's recuperation, he knew where the prison deck was and made his way there.

Once near the cells, he looked around. There were three detainment cells present, but the one against the back wall had the door open. Vincent let the keys fall from his teeth and the hit the floor with a resounding clank. Vincent walked straight back into the cell, pulling the barred door shut firmly behind him. He turned slowly to his right, something large and black catching his eye. His knees buckled beneath him and a cold sweat broke on his skin as he found himself staring at the coffin like stasis chamber that had held him for twenty-seven years. He knelt there before it trembling, barely able to breathe.


	40. Containment

Guilt's Cost: Part XL

Containment

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Dr. Arlin finished Tifa's exam, being quite pleased with Angel's work. Tifa was now sitting up, despite the pain it caused her. The doctor handed Tifa a bottle of antibiotics and gave her the okay to leave the infirmary. Tifa walked painfully toward the door with Angel's help, almost running into Tseng as he entered.

"Tifa, you're up." Tseng smiled, noticing how heavily she was relying on his niece for support.

She returned his smile; still grateful for the comfort he had given her earlier. "Yes, and I want to see Vincent now."

Angel handed the injured girl off to her uncle, having to fill out some medical reports with the doctor. "Take care of Tifa, and don't let her go too fast! I don't want those sutures undone!"

Tseng nodded obediently as he slipped his arm around Tifa. "If you want, I could get a wheel chair."

"No," She almost laughed. "Believe it or not, but it hurts a whole lot more to sit right now."

"Okay." He led her slowly toward the detention block. "Once we get down there, I'll let you talk to Vincent alone, but realize that he is in a cell, and I will not be letting you in."

"I…I understand." She sighed. At least she was relived to know that Vincent hadn't been put in stasis.

They made the rest of the short trip in silence. When they entered the prison area, Tseng led her to the back cell where he knew Vincent should be. Tseng was somewhat confused to find the keys on the floor and the cuffs still on Vincent.

Tseng left Tifa leaning against the wall and approached his brother first. Vincent still knelt on the floor before the stasis box. "Tsuvati, come here so I can undo the restraints."

Vincent silently obeyed, placing his wrists against the bars so Tseng could unlock them. 

Tseng took the cuffs and stepped back. "Tifa is here to talk to you. I'm going to leave for a while."

Vincent continued to lean against the bars as he heard Tseng walk away.

Tifa walked cautiously toward the cage that held Vincent, feeling a strange tension in the air. She stopped and stared at Vincent's back as he continued to remain motionless. "Vincent?"

He slowly turned around to face her. There was no color in his skin, and its pallor was even further diminished by the perspiration drenching him. His usually flowing hair was stuck to his skin from the dampness and had lost all of its shine. Vincent's red eyes were lifeless, and not even the faintest glow was to be seen there. He still wore the blood stained shirt he had donned the night before, his bullet wound long since healed. There was a dried trail of blood coming from the left corner of his mouth where Reno had hit him.

Tifa covered her mouth with her hands, terrified by his deathly appearance. "Oh God, what happened to you?"

He stared at her expressionless, not able to respond immediately due to his exhaustion.

She grew even more afraid and reached out to touch him through the bars. "Vincent, please!"

He pulled her hand away from him gently with his claws. "Tifa, don't."

Tears came to her eyes. The Vincent she had come to love was not here. "Vincent, I don't blame you! No one does!"

Vincent took one step back as to be out of her reach. "I do."

"Please don't do this!" She begged, reaching out for him futilely. "I love you!"

He cast his gaze to the ground. "And I you. But that isn't enough anymore. That demon now owns more of me than I do."

She watched as he pulled the shirt from his body. The lizard skin now covered his entire torso and was starting to creep down his right arm. "Oh Vincent, I'm sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Vincent let the shirt fall to the floor beside him. "This is mine to bear. Mine alone. You have done nothing but be kind to me, and look what I have done."

"You didn't do it! Chaos attacked me, I know that and so does everyone else!" Tifa's voice wavered from her tears.

Vincent raised his metallic claw and pointed a talon at the stasis box. "This is my punishment. You will no longer be in danger."

Tifa's eyes fell upon the stasis box, sinking to her knees as she realized what was happening. "Oh God Vincent, please don't!"

He turned to face the casket and bent down to pull open its lid. A cold fog billowed out from inside as the stasis gases mixed with the air. "I have to go now."

Tifa's voice raised with her terror. "No, oh please don't! Vincent, I love you! Don't leave me! You said you would marry me, remember? Please, please don't go!"

Vincent looked back at her, the first emotion he'd shown her coming to his face. The abject sadness in his eyes was heart wrenching. "I must. If I cannot be with you, then I can't continue."

"You can be with me, Vincent!" Tifa said, again trying to reach him through the bars. "I am not afraid! What will I do without you?"

Vincent stepped up into the box, finding it hard to look at Tifa as she came undone. "You will be better off without me. I was a fool to interrupt your life. I have nothing to offer but the promise of more pain and death. That is what I was created for, that is what I am."

Tifa slammed her fists against the bars, causing the whole wall to rattle. "God Damn it, Vincent! Get out of there before it's too late!"

Vincent sat inside the box, stretching his legs out before him. The feel of the interior was still quite familiar despite the seven years that had elapsed. "It is already too late, Tifa. I love you, and I always will. I can only hope that someone finds a way to get Chaos out of me, and that it is soon enough for you to still be here. I love you, Tifa."

Tifa screamed in pain as he laid back disappearing from view. The last thing she saw of him was his golden arm reach up and bring the lid down on top of his coffin. "Oh God, no! Vincent, no!"

Upon hearing Tifa's last screams, Tseng re-entered the cellblock. Tifa was little more than a sobbing pile on the floor next to Vincent's cell. He saw the stasis box as the only thing in Vincent's cage, and he knew what had happened. Tseng went forward and opened the door to the cell, making his way to the stasis box. 

Tifa looked up just in time to see Tseng close a lock on the coffin. "What are you doing?"

It broke Tseng's heart to face her. "Making sure that he stays in there, or that rather, no one lets him out."

Tifa's face grew hot with anger. "I hate you! Let him out!"

Tseng stepped back from the box and came back to where Tifa way laying on the floor. "I'm sorry, but I can't. Not until we find a way to help him."

Tifa struggled to her feet and pounded Tseng in the chest with her clenched fists. "God Damn it, I hate you!"

Tseng put his arms around her as she collapsed sobbing into him. "Tifa, the only way you can help him now is to be strong. It would kill him to know you're suffering like this."

"Then let him out, please!" Her pitiful plea hurt Tseng more than she could know.

He held her tightly, feeling tears in his own eyes. "I feel no pride in what I have done."


	41. Reprimand

Guilt's Cost: Part XLI

Reprimand

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tseng stood holding Tifa for a long time. Eventually he needed to go and talk to Dr. Arlin about what she had called him home for.

"Tifa, do you want me to see you to your room?" Tseng said, staring down into her tear stained face.

She backed up from him, shaking her head. "No, I want to stay here just a little longer."

He didn't want to abandon her here, but knew she wouldn't go until she was ready. "All right, but I want you to promise me you'll get some rest in a little while."

"Yeah, I promise." Tifa forced a smile for his benefit, and watched him walk away. Once he was gone, she staggered into the open cell.

The casket took up the opposite end of the room. It sent chills through her to look at it, reminding her of the first time she saw it underneath the Shin Ra mansion. She had to steel herself for each step she took toward it, somehow afraid of this inanimate object. Upon reaching its side she knelt down carefully, resting her hands on its surface. Tifa leaned forward until she was looking through the tiny viewing window in its lid.

In the darkness of its interior she saw Vincent. His eyes were closed, his face expressionless. He didn't look at peace like someone that was dead, just frozen in the moment the chamber had cast him into sleep. She watched for any sign of life, but he didn't even seem to breathe. Staring into his unconscious face her tears came anew. Tifa, in her exhaustion rested her body on the casket, laying her cheek next to the glass window. She cried with abandon knowing that no one could hear. On occasion, she would slam a fist onto the smooth surface of the box in frustration. When Vincent had been sealed inside, so had all of her remaining hope.

"That is the saddest fucking thing I ever saw." Someone said from the doorway. "I remember in the Turks when someone would die. There would be a funeral, and inevitably there was always some weepy-eyed widow who'd throw herself on the coffin. I think those women wanted to be lowered into the ground with their dead men. Is that what you want now?"

Tifa wiped her eyes and turned to see Reno leaning up against the wall a short ways off. "Hi…"

He straightened up and took a few long strides toward her. "I always figured that funerals for dead Turks were kind of like Mafia ones. There were always a lot of people there who didn't officially 'know' what had befallen the deceased. The corpse always just laid there, its multiple gunshot wounds neatly hidden beneath clothing and makeup."

Tifa watched him speechless. She had never seen an expression of sadness on Reno's face, and it touched something within her.

He bent over the casket and looked down into the viewing window. With his right hand he reached down and knocked on the glass. "Hey Vinny, you in there?"

Tifa didn't know whether to laugh or cry at his antics, and so did nothing.

Reno appeared to grow angry and he kicked the side of the box. "Fuck you, Vinny!"

Tifa jumped from his outburst, confused.

"You fucking selfish son of a bitch!" Reno kicked it again. "What the fuck did I tell you, huh? Look what you've fucking done to Tifa! She's crying her God Damned eyes out over you, you sorry piece of shit!"

"Reno..?" Tifa backed away, somewhat afraid of the former Turk's ranting.

"God Damn it!" He turned his back to the casket for a moment, only to spin around and slam his hand into the top of it. "My baby wouldn't marry me until you came. I was really fucking looking forward to that, you know? Now, she'll probably want to wait until you get the fuck back out of there! Shit, I swear Vinny, are you only capable of thinking about yourself? Cause that's what it looks like from here! I told you not to let this happen! Tseng may have thought this stasis thing was a good idea, but look how you've fucked everyone around you!"

Tifa rose to her feet. She never would have expected such a passionate display from him. "Reno, are you all right?"

He quit assaulting the coffin to look over at Tifa, relieved that she had finally spoken. "Sorry, was that a little over the top?"

She smiled, feeling that it was inappropriate to do so. "Maybe a little."

He returned her grin. "I think I watched to many gangster movies growing up."

"That was quite…inspired." Tifa took a few steps to his side. "Thanks."

He placed his arm around her shoulders. "You know the old saying about the widow fucking some hot young guy on the dead man's casket?"

Tifa looked at him blankly. His innuendo flying over her head. "What?"

"Want to give it a try?" Reno pulled her closer.

She shoved his arm off of her and took a step back. "Jeez, you are a pig! Vincent's isn't dead, and I wouldn't call you 'hot'."

Reno feigned a pout. "Just trying to make the best of a shitty situation here, that's all."

Tifa couldn't help but smile. She knew he was trying to make her feel better despite the crudeness of his words. "Reno, how does Angel put up with it?"

"Cause unlike you, she does think I'm 'hot'." He said, donning a self-satisfied grin.

Tifa was quickly realizing exactly what was in Reno that appealed to Angel, and she felt a slight blush creep across her cheeks.

Reno took her red face as a sign that he had embarrassed her. "Well Hell, I think we should ditch this place. Think Vinny would mind if I took you out for dinner?"

"Vincent might not care, but what about Angel?" Tifa asked, her smile still lingering.

"Sorry Tifa, I plan on bringing her. I think I need an escort to make sure you don't go off trying to hit on me. I am spoken for." Reno extended his hand to Tifa and led her away from the prison block.

***

Tseng left Dr. Arlin's office shaking. If what she had told him was true, there could be severe consequences. He needed to find Tifa immediately. As Dr. Arlin had suggested over the phone, she was the best person to check up on what might be happening in Mideel. He made his way to the phone quickly to make one call to arrange Tifa's transportation before finding her.

He searched the base frantically looking for Tifa, the urgency of the news he had been given driving him on. After asking around, he came to learn that Tifa, Angel, and Reno had gone up to Costa del Sol for dinner. Tseng made his way up to town using one of the several passages up from the base. The night air was warm and humid, and he for once regretted wearing a suit.

There was only one restaurant in town that he knew Angel and Reno would go to and he headed straight for it. Once inside, he spotted the trio taking up a booth in the back.

Tseng slid into the booth next to Tifa, and everyone seemed surprised for him to be there.

"You actually left the base?" Angel asked with a wide smile.

Visibly shaken, he rested his elbows on the table and sighed. "I needed to find Tifa. Dr. Arlin just informed me of what she found out."

Tifa leaned closer to him, curiosity getting the best of her. "What is it?"

"Tifa, when you were in Mideel with Cloud during his recovery from Mako poisoning, you came to know Brandon, did you not?" Tseng asked, finally managing to calm himself down.

Tifa's face brightened at the mention of the doctor's name. "Oh yes! He was so good to us, how is he?"

"Fine, but there is something he needs you to go to Mideel for." Tseng replied before picking up a water glass from the table.

"Why is that?" As much as she would love to see Brandon again, the thought of traveling at this point did not appeal to her.

"I know this is going to sound strange, but I would rather not tell you. What you don't know others can't get from you." Tseng pulled a small vial of pills from his pocket and opened it. He downed one white tablet before tucking the bottle back away. His heart was bothering him and he didn't want to risk another attack. "I think it would be best for you to go to Mideel and see Brandon so that he can show you himself. Once you are able to confirm or refute his claim, you are to come back to this base immediately. I do not want you to call anyone or talk whatsoever."

Reno cocked an eyebrow. "God Damn, that sensitive, huh?"

"Yes." Tseng replied shortly. "I know you probably don't feel up to this right now, Tifa, but I really need you to do this."

Tifa hung her head while absent-mindedly pushing a crust of bread across her plate. "You're right, I don't want to go. I feel like I should stay here, you know…"

"Hey Tifa," Reno kicked her under the table lightly. "It's okay. I'm pretty sure Angel and I can show the stiff in the box a good time while you're away. Hell, I bet he doesn't even notice."

Angel cringed from the crudeness of her mate's words but relaxed when she saw Tifa actually smile in response. "Tifa, don't tell me you're starting to like Reno!"

Tifa's smile broadened. "Angel, believe it or not, he managed to say some things to me today that were really rather…sweet."

Angel laughed and nudged Reno. "You got her fooled, huh?"

"All the ladies love me, babe." Reno leaned back and put his hands behind his head.

Tifa fell silent and switched her gaze back between Angel and Tseng. It was in a way hard to be so close to these two who could remind her of Vincent so easily. She finally let her gaze fall back to the table's surface.

Tseng could feel her unrest and put an arm around her shoulders. "Are you doing okay?"

She nuzzled into him, perhaps just a little quicker than she should have. It was too tempting for her to pretend Tseng was Vincent as she felt him against her. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just been a rough couple of days, that's all."

Angel couldn't bear the look of pain on Tifa's face and she reached across the table and grasped one of Tifa's hands. "Yes, it has."

Everyone present turned their eyes to Angel as they heard tears in her voice. She was being torn apart inside at the plight of her father, but until now she had been hiding it well.

Nothing hurt Reno more than to see Angel in pain and he pulled her close. "The old man's really getting you down too, huh?"

She just hung her head and sighed. "Yes. It doesn't seem fair… I've waited all these years to meet him, and when I finally do, he's taken away."

Reno kissed her cheek and wiped one of her tears away. "Hey baby, he won't be in there forever," He turned his gaze to Tseng, "will he?"

Tseng heard the threat underlying Reno's question. He was impressed at the former Turk's nerve to take such a tone with him. "I have men working on it right now. But they've never been up against such a thing, so I can't really say how long it will take. I know all of you are holding some resentment for me right now about bringing that stasis box here, but I only did it to protect you, and Vincent."

A small spike of anger welled up in Tifa and she moved out of Tseng's embrace. Whether it was for a good intention or not, Tseng had been the one to make it possible for Vincent to climb back into that box. At the same time, her anger was undermined by the fact that it had been Vincent himself that had sealed the chamber. "I'm not hungry anymore."

Angel and Reno nodded in agreement and started to get up. Reno made a move to pick up the bill, but Tseng snatched it from the table first. "I'm afraid I ruined dinner, so I'll get it."

Reno felt no need to argue for once. "Right boss."

They walked slowly away from the restaurant. Not wishing to go back down into the base too quickly they wandered through the streets of the town. Reno and Angel led the way, with Reno having his arm draped lazily around Angel's shoulders. Tifa and Tseng followed a few paces behind. Tifa's injuries from the day before were already starting to hurt less and she found this stroll not painful. 

As they went, no one said much. After a few blocks Tifa sighed sadly and it caught Tseng's attention. He truly felt some guilt over all that had happened and he took her hand in his. Tifa didn't resist and kept her gaze cast to the ground again trying to imagine that Tseng was Vincent again.

Tseng had a suspicion that she was using him like that, and didn't mind. If he could comfort her by allowing Tifa this one small fantasy, then that is what he would do. In a way he was using her too. As those that passed by saw him hand in hand with this beautiful girl no one would give any thought to the possibility that he was gay. It felt good to be looked upon as normal for once, even if it was only pretend.

Tifa finally broke the silence. "When do I have to leave?"

"I'll be taking you up to the airport tomorrow morning. I want to get you to Mideel as soon as possible." He said quietly. 

Tifa dared to rest her head against his shoulder as they continued on. "Great, another two days on an airship, huh?"

Tseng laughed to himself. "No, Tifa. I want you there tomorrow, so no airship."

Tifa stopped walking and looked up at him. "But there's only one thing that could get me there that quick!"

"That's right." Tseng smiled at her, sensing her excitement. "You're going by airplane."

"Where did you find one of those?" Tifa's eyes grew wide.

"I think you know." He said, not able to resist putting his arm around her.

Tifa covered her mouth with her hands and jumped; a move she immediately regretted. "Ouch… Oh my God! Do you mean..?"

"Cid?" He felt pleased to see real happiness on her face.

She squealed in delight, causing Reno and Angel to realize that their companions were back down the street a ways. "Cid? Cid is here?"

"He should be shortly." Tseng replied.

As if on cue, the sound of a plane circling over head could be heard. Tifa looked up spotting the blinking lights of the plane in the night sky. "Hey! There he is!"


	42. Misinformation

Guilt's Cost: Part XLII

Misinformation

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Author's note: Well, looks like we're coming to the end of the year, 2001. Gosh, it has been a hard one. I think I would like to dedicate the rest of this story to all my friends that passed on this year:

Quigley Genoff

Max Schmidt

Rasta Hurd

Rayna Bechtel

Genji Kaminaka

Sydney Bennewitz

Bobby Bettita

Rysby Hershy

Kimo Macario

Tillie Wersen

And my birds Norman and Twerp.

Don't be surprised if you see some of these names pop up in my writing, that's how I cope J Sorry to get all heavy there…

Porter rarely saw Hojo these days, as the scientist kept himself locked in the lab alone working on Cloud. Although he had a passing curiosity for what was going on behind those closed doors he was mostly just relieved at his reprieve from the mad man.

Bringing his dog to work had now become a habit, and he had discovered much to his delight that D, for all his oddness of appearance, was a chick magnet. When walking through the halls with his canine companion women would often stop him to ask questions and pet D. Moreover, it had been D that got Porter talking to the brunet girl in accounting that he had been suffering a crush on for the last several months.

One day while handing in yet more of Hojo's expense reports, the young accountant had gotten up from her corner desk and approached him. Never having had much luck with women, Porter had only ever given her shy smiles.

The woman knelt in front of the dog and grew wide-eyed. "Wow, what a great dog…"

Porter just gazed down at her blankly, disbelieving that she was talking to him. "Oh, uh, yeah."

She patted the top of the animal's head. "Well, what's his name?"

"D", Porter said simply.

"Well aren't you just the bee's knees?" She said to the dog. "Was he in some sort of accident?"

Porter was finding it hard to think. Locking up in front of the opposite sex had always been his curse. "What's that?"

"Your dog. He's robotics from the neck down, so I was wondering if he'd been hit by a car or something." She asked, finally standing back up.

"Oh, I don't know." Porter's heart was pounding. "He came from the lab here and I found him in the trash going to the incinerator."

She gasped. "Oh my God, that's horrible! That was so kind of you to save him."

Porter managed a smile, realizing that he had just unintentionally impressed her. "It was the least I could do. When I took him home his body was all messed up and I had to fix him, but I guess you can see he's fine now."

"Gosh, you must be awfully smart to have been able to do that." She smiled at him, getting lost in his green eyes. "My name is Rayna. What's yours?"

He stammered for a moment. "P..Porter."

"Porter, huh?" Her ebony eyes examined him. "And you must be a Turk, I'm guessing?"

Her insight wasn't miraculous due to his tell tale suit, but he grinned shyly. "Yes, ma'am."

"Wow, I've never talked to a Turk before." She fidgeted with her hands. "If you don't mind my saying, most of your contemporaries are a little off standish."

He nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I think some of them take the whole Turk thing a little too seriously."

"Well, it's finally nice to meet one of them that doesn't." She dropped her gaze to the side. "So, I suppose a good looking Turk like you has a girl?"

Porter's heart jumped into his throat. There were all kinds of rumors about how chicks dug Turks, but this was the first time anyone seemed to notice or care. "Well, actually, no."

She reached out and shoved him playfully. "So, you're either single or not into women, huh?"

Porter laughed out loud. He was as straight as they came. "Single."

"I've seen you looking at me before when you drop off those reports." She still avoided eye contact, her face blushing slightly. "Were you ever planning on asking me out?"

There was a good likely hood that Porter was going to fall over dead from shock. "Do you want me too?"

"God you're cute!" Rayna finally looked back up at him. "Would I have asked that if I didn't want you too?"

He swallowed hard. "Do…do you want to go out sometime?"

"Tell you what. I get off at five thirty. Why don't you just meet me back here and we'll go out to dinner." She said with confidence.

Porter readily accepted.

He had been going out with her nightly ever since, and had never been happier. Although a very attractive man, he had only had a few girl friends in his life, and none of them had ever seemed as interested in him as Rayna. He was quickly falling in love with her and he didn't really mind. Knowing that she was in the building where he worked actually made him look forward to coming in every day. This coupled with the fact that Hojo had recently made himself scarce almost made up for his crappy assignment. 

Porter was sitting in his small office daydreaming, anxiously awaiting quitting time. There had been little for him to do today and he was incredibly board. When the door to his office was thrown open, he jumped up from his desk.

Hojo stood there, looking more tired and haggard than usual. "Porter!"

The young Turk tensed as he acknowledged his visitor. "Sir."

Hojo took several steps in and finally stopped before Porter's desk. "I need you to do me a favor."

"What is that, Sir?" Porter could almost smell the evil oozing from Hojo.

The scientist threw a small white envelope onto the desk. "Take that to Quigley. It contains some very sensitive material."

Porter furrowed his brow in confusion. He knew very well that Hojo had long suspected that particular researcher as an ASRIO agent. "Why would you want him to have secrets?"

Hojo hung his head, forever frustrated with Porter's lack of sense. "It's called misinformation, dear Porter. It makes mention of Mr. Strife's presence here at Shin Ra, but it fails to mention the fact that he is very much dead."

"So you want ASRIO to think he isn't?" Porter picked up the envelope and shoved it into his coat pocket.

"Very good." Hojo smiled. "See, you can think when you try."

Porter let the insult slip by. "I see."

Hojo was desperate to share his work with someone, and with Porter being the only one he trusted, he snapped. "Would you like to see what I have done?"

"Yes, Sir." He was only half lying.

"Good, come along." Hojo said turning and walking from the room.

Porter followed along, D walking at his side. Hojo led him to the lab and unlocked the doors. Upon entering, Porter saw something that stopped him in his tracks.

Sitting on a table in the other end of the room sat Cloud, looking very much alive. He had been dressed in a black long sleeve shirt and matching pants. Glossy black leather boots covered his feet. Cloud just sat staring blankly toward Hojo and Porter.

"What did you do?" Porter asked the scientist in a whisper.

Hojo smiled. "You have long known of my affinity for adding mechanical amendments onto living things such as you dog, correct?"

Porter just nodded. He had noticed such a pattern to the mad man's work.

"Well, I decided that it would be fun to try the opposite, and Mr. Strife here presented the prefect opportunity."

The Turk just continued to stare, noticing that the life support collar that Cloud had previously wore was gone.

Hojo continued. "With his dead brain removed, he presented the prefect chance to try wiring a computer into a human body. I already had perfected attaching wires into nerves so with just a little effort, I have made the once unanimated body move again. The computer tells the body what to do, and I in turn, tell the computer. Watch."

Hojo took a few steps toward Cloud. "Mr. Strife, please be so kind as to show Porter that you can stand."

With one fluid motion, Cloud slid from the table and got to his feet. It didn't look unnatural whatsoever. Cloud never took his eyes off of Hojo.

"How does he know to look at you?" Porter couldn't help but ask.

"The computer inside him recognizes me and whenever I am around he will look at me, unless I tell him to turn his attention to someone else. I have given him a memory of just a few people to recognize. Myself, you, and Ms. Lockheart and Mr. Valentine."

Porter wanted to run away. "That is amazing, Sir."

"Thanks, but I know." Hojo looked back at Porter and pulled off his glasses. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but have I not seen you with that little number from accounting?"

"Yeah." He replied quietly.

"Oh." Hojo took a few paces toward him while cleaning his glasses with the edge of his lab coat. "I want you to do me a favor."

"What is that, Sir?"

"After you give that envelope to Quigley," Hojo reached into a pocket and pulled out a wad of bills. "I want you to take that sweet thing to dinner, on me."

Porter reached out and took the money. "That is very generous of you, Sir."

Hojo smiled. "Yes, I suppose it is. Go now, all right?"

"Yes, Sir, and thank you." Porter forced a smile as he retreated from the lab.

When Porter got onto the elevator with his dog, he allowed himself to shiver in disgust. The image of the dead man walking so naturally was going to haunt him for a while. He looked down at the money in his hand that Hojo had given him. He had an urge to throw the cash to the ground, but once he saw the large denominations of the bills he couldn't stop himself from shoving it into his pocket. 

The doors of the elevator opened and Porter found himself on the floor that held Quigley's office. He made his way to it and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" A tired voice called from within.

"Porter."

"Come on in." Quigley requested.

Porter entered the cramped office to find Quigley hunched over a pile of paperwork. "Hojo wanted me to give you this."

Quigley sighed and reached out taking the envelope. His dirty blond hair hung in his face, and he pushed it back behind his ear so his dog brown eyes could examine what he'd been given.

Porter watched the researcher read the note, and smiled to himself as he realized Quigley had a definite German Shepherd type quality to his appearance. This was even further enhanced by the fact that at some point during the day, Quigley had managed to smudge something black on the end of his nose.

Quigley seemed disturbed by what he read and let the letter fall back to his desk. "You work for a real sick bastard, you know that?"

Porter smiled. "Yeah, but you work for him too."

Quigley raised his eyebrows. "Oh, I guess I do."

Porter had always liked this man, if not for his absent mindedness then for his gentle and even nature. "Well, I need to get going."

"Okay." Quigley stood up and extended his hand. "See you around."

Porter accepted the handshake before going to meet Rayna. 


	43. Comfort

Guilt's Cost: Part XLIII

Comfort

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Reno and Angel decided to continue their night stroll as Tifa and Tseng headed off toward the airfield. Despite her injuries, Tifa practically dragged Tseng along. Within ten minutes they found themselves walking through the gates to the airfield. As they did this, the small twin engine plane alit on the runway. Tifa's excited cheers broke the night air.

The plane finally taxied to a grassy area and came to a stop. As the engines were cut, the propellers slowly ground to a halt and the door on the side of the plane was thrown open. Cid appeared and flicked a spent cigarette out onto the grass.

Giving no heed to the pain it caused her; Tifa ran to Cid and embraced him. "Oh Cid! I'm so glad you're here!"

He returned the embrace, clapping her back firmly with his hands. "It's good to see you, too."

Tifa eventually took a step back and wiped the tears of joy from her eyes. "How's Shera?"

"Shera?" Cid rolled his eyes. "She's had some crazy girl friend of hers staying with us for the last week, and when Tseng asked me to come give you a ride I jumped at the opportunity. Those women were drivin' me nuts with their constant banter about the baby. I just hope she doesn't decide to squeeze the kid out while I'm gone. I made her promise to wait."

Tifa smiled, finding great comfort in the presence of this man. "I'm so happy you're going with me!"

Cid looked over at Tseng who had moved closer. "So what's up? You didn't give me much info over the phone about this."

"I'm afraid that all I can tell you, Mr. Highwind, is that you are to take Tifa to Mideel tomorrow, and then bring her home as quickly as possible. Once you are there, you will learn more." Tseng replied with a faint smile.

"Just Tifa?" Cid narrowed his eyes. "What about Sue?"

Tseng just stared, not understanding.

Tifa slapped Cid in the arm, realizing what he meant. "It's Tsuvati, and he can't go."

"Why's that?" Cid turned is gaze back down to Tifa.

She wanted to tell Cid everything, but found her words cut off as tears rose in her throat.

Cid at once felt awkward and placed his arms lightly around Tifa. He hated it when girls cried, it just made him feel weird. "Aw now, hey don't do that!"

Tseng took another step forward. "I'm afraid that my brother has returned to stasis. He was having trouble controlling Chaos and it was all I could think of to help him."

Cid furrowed his brow. "God Damn, you guys only been gone a couple weeks and the shit hits the fan, huh?"

Tseng motioned for Cid and Tifa to follow as he made his way to the control tower. "Come, I will show you."

Cid walked behind the former Turk with Tifa at his side. He had no real idea of what had happened, and half dreaded what he would find out. His nerves were frayed and he reached into his pocket and pulled out another cigarette.

Tifa glanced at him as the flame from his lighter drew her attention.

Cid noticed her gaze and took the cigarette from his lips and held it out to her. "What, want some?"

She smiled and raised a hand. "No, after working in a bar for so long I think I've gotten my fair share of smoke, thanks."

He shrugged and brought it back up to his lips. Cid looked ahead seeing Tseng opening the door at the base of the control tower. "What, the base is in there?"

"It's underground." Tifa sighed. "You'd be surprised how big it is down there. It goes all the way under town."

"Sounds like a pretty good operation he's got then." Cid replied after a long drag, allowing the smoke to curl up from his nostrils.

It gave Tifa the creeps when he did that and she looked away. "Thanks for coming to help get me to Mideel tomorrow."

"No problem." He smiled as they passed Tseng who was holding the door open for them. "Besides like I said, I needed a break from the home front for awhile."

They waited for a moment in the corridor until Tseng had the door closed again. He made his way back to them. "Tifa, will you be all right to take Cid to see Vincent alone?"

She nodded, not wishing to say anything for fear the tears would return.

Tseng smiled and patted her on the shoulder before heading off. "Okay, I'll see you to in the morning then."

Tifa led Cid to the cellblock in silence. She took him straight to where Vincent's stasis box lay. "There he is."

Cid leaned over the box and inspected it briefly, seeing Vincent asleep inside. "God Damn, that brings back some bad memories, huh?"

Tifa hung her head. "Yeah. He climbed into it this afternoon."

Cid turned his attention back to her. "What made him do it?"

"Chaos did something to me the other day." Tifa answered in a whisper. The pain of the memory was clear on her face.

"What did that mother fucker do to you?" Cid got angry at the thought of Tifa being hurt. He had a wide protective streak when it came to females.

Tifa started to cry again. "He… Chaos raped me."

Cid sighed deeply, furious to hear her tell him the truth and uncomfortable with her renewed crying. "Holy shit, Tifa. I'm sorry."

She turned to him and buried her face into his flight jacket. The cool fabric of it felt good against her flushed face. "Oh Cid! You should have seen Vincent before he locked himself in there! He looked like death."

He let the remains of his cigarette fall to the floor and put his arms around her not knowing what else to do to comfort her. "The Hell with him, I would be more worried about you."

"But I love him, Cid! I miss him already!" Tifa's words were mumbled into his coat.

"Oh Tifa…" Cid hated these situations. "He'll be fine. Like I've said before, Vincent is one tough bastard. Whatever I can do to make you feel better, let me know."

Tifa managed to look up at him. "Having you here is already helping. Tseng couldn't have picked someone better to help me."

Cid frowned to see tears still in her eyes. He put one of his hands on the back of her head and pushed her face back into his chest. "Finish your crying."

"Cid!" Tifa laughed as she wriggled free. "Did I ever tell you you're terrible?"

"More times than I can count." Cid finally relaxed upon seeing her smile.

"Well that's not so high, is it?" Tifa retorted.

"That does it!" Cid reached out and pulled her face first back into his coat. "Stay the Hell there 'til you learn to respect your elders."

They heard a snicker behind them, and Cid turned to see Reno standing against the wall behind them. He immediately let go of Tifa and assumed a defensive posture.

Tifa ran to get between Cid and Reno as quickly as she could. "No Cid!"

Reno ran a hand through his hair as he eyed the old pilot. "Shit, Tifa! Every guy you bring here wants to kick my ass."

Cid put his arms back at his sides realizing that Reno for some reason wasn't a threat. "Reno huh?"

Tifa sighed in relief at having prevented another fight. "Yes, Reno works here for Tseng."

"I'll be damned." Cid put his hands on his hips.

Reno straightened up and walked a little closer. "Yes, it is I Reno, secret agent extrordinaire."

Another laugh was heard from the shadows and Angel stepped forward. "That would imply that you actually do something."

Reno spun to look at his mate. "Hey, you're gonna damage my ego saying things like that!"

Angel laughed again. "I don't think there is any danger of that happening."

Cid's eye was caught by the beautiful dark-haired vixen. He walked to her and extended his hand. "Cid Highwind, and you are?"

Reno reached over and pulled Cid back by the collar of his coat. "Down boy, that's my fiancée, and besides, you wouldn't like her, she's old Vinny's kid."

Cid's eyes went wide and he turned to Tifa. "The Hell? Sunshine has a daughter?"

Tifa smiled. "Yeah, her name is Angel. She was created in a Shin Ra lab a few years ago. She is wonderful."

Cid turned back to face Angel. "Hot damn, who would have guessed Sue could have such a good looking kid."

Angel was flattered and embarrassed. "Thank you, Mr. Highwind… I think."

Tifa nudged Cid in the side. "You're married anyway."

He looked down at her with an expression of annoyance. "Married, not dead. I can still look, just not touch."


	44. Insomnia

Guilt's Cost: Part XLIV

Insomnia

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

It was late at night and most of the people within the base were asleep except for a few. Angel was finding it hard to sleep and she sat on the edge of the bed. Reno was snoring away next to her, oblivious for the moment to her unrest. She eventually rose from the bed and pulled on a robe. Not wanting to disturb Reno who was apparently having a dream judging from his mumbling she opened to door to their quarters and stepped out into the hall.

Angel walked without thinking of where she was headed. The nighttime illumination of the base was surreal and if she had been paying any attention to her surroundings, she might have found it eerie.

Inevitably her feet carried her to the detention block. She scanned the room and found her eyes drawn to Vincent's box. There was someone laying on the floor next to it wrapped in a blanket. After taking a few more steps forward, she could see that it was Tifa. Angel cleared her throat quietly, not wishing to frighten her.

Upon hearing someone close, Tifa sat up slowly spotting Angel near by. Having been unable to sleep in her lonely quarters Tifa too had made her way down here. Sleep still evaded her and she had spent several hours now just staring at the side of Vincent's casket. "Hi Angel."

Angel produced a lazy smile and came to Tifa's side where she promptly sat on the ground next to her. "Can't sleep either, I see."

Tifa turned her gaze back to the casket. "No, I couldn't stand the thought of him down here all alone. It's stupid, I know, he's not aware of anything around him now."

Angel shook her head slightly. "I guess I kind of came down here to check on him, too. I wish I could have gotten to know him more before this."

Tifa scooted closer to her friend. "I could tell you about him, if you want."

"Would you?" Angel stared back at Tifa with tear filled eyes.

"I think it would be good for both of us." Tifa said, pulling the blanket up around her shoulders to ward off the cold.

"Then tell me about the first time you met him, and what your first impressions were." Angel asked, pulling a corner of Tifa's blanket over to cover her lap.

Tifa smiled as she turned her eyes up toward the ceiling. "Let's see… We were down in the basement of the Shin Ra mansion. We had found a key earlier and couldn't figure out what it was for. Finally, we found this little side room that the key opened. We went inside; finding the room littered with these stasis boxes. All of them were empty except for this one."

Angel nodded as Tifa waved to the casket before them. "And he was inside?"

"Yes." Tifa dropped her eyes to the floor. "I was the first to go up to it, and I brushed away the dust covering the little window. I expected to see either nothing or a skeleton inside but instead I saw this beautiful and sad looking man within. Cloud, never a patient one push by me and threw the lid open. After a little bit, Vincent stood up and looked around. He seemed so confused, like he was living in another time, which I guess was kind of true. When he realized that we were not the people he wanted and how long he'd been in there, he jumped right back in and closed the lid. Cloud got frustrated and had us leave the room and check out the rest of the basement. After looking through some old Shin Ra records Cloud decided we should go. I begged him to let us try and see if Vincent would come with us. I just couldn't stand the thought of us leaving him down there forever. Cloud finally gave in and I went over and opened the lid again. Vincent stared up at me with the most annoyed look I think I have ever seen in my life. He tried to reach up and close the lid again, but I wouldn't let him. After we told him what was going on, he grudgingly agreed to come with us."

Angel grinned. "Thank God for your persistence."

"Yeah," Tifa sighed. "After that he stayed with us, but always at the edge of the group. He never took part in conversations or anything like that. Everyone thought that just meant he was, to quote Cid, 'a cold ass bastard', but I didn't think they were right. Whenever I got the chance I would try to talk to him. It didn't take me long to realize that his problem was heartache, and a lot of it. Even through his cool act, I could see there was a very caring and lost person inside of him. My sympathy eventually turned into friendship and he opened up to me just a little, but still more than he had to anyone else."

"And he came to love you for your kindness?" Angel asked.

"Well," Tifa reached out and touched the side of the casket lightly, "when our mission was over he just sort of vanished. I didn't know where he had gone to or why, but something inside me said that he would come back eventually. Seven years later that happened. When I saw him again, I felt so good. I had been missing him a lot more than I had realized. And then when Cloud killed himself, Vincent took care of me. I didn't realize at first exactly why he'd come back but after a short time he told me he'd fallen in love with me. I was incredibly touched to hear him say that, and for him to come back after all that time was an indication that he hadn't just done it on a whim."

Angel's smile widened. "Thank you for sharing that with me. When you come back from Mideel, will you tell me about my mother too?"

"You got it." Tifa said getting up from the floor. Having talked to Angel had calmed her and she was starting to feel tired. "Maybe I'll go back to bed now."

Angel got up as well. "Yeah, I think I will too."

They walked back to their respective rooms. Angel slipped back into her quarters and back into bed with Reno, who'd never noticed she had been gone.

Tifa on the other hand, remained outside her door for a while. The thought of being alone for the rest of the night was hurting her and she needed someone. She gave thought to seeing Tseng, but then decided that Cid would be better. She knew that had she gone to Tseng she would have just been doing it in order to pretend that he was Vincent again and that didn't feel right.

Once at Cid's door she knocked lightly, knowing that it didn't take much to wake up the man. After hearing some rustling and quiet cursing from the inside, Cid opened the door.

He squinted his eyes in his drowsiness. "Tifa? What you doing here?"

She hung her head, ashamed to admit the truth. "I don't want to be alone. I was just wondering if I could maybe sleep here."

Cid shrugged and let her in. "As long as you mean sleep as in sleep, cause I am God Damned tired and as you reminded me earlier, married."

"Of course I mean sleep, Cid." Tifa laughed to herself. "You want me to lay on the couch?"

Cid scratched his head as he staggered back over to the bed. "I don't care where you sleep. Get in bed over here if you're so inclined."

Tifa's aching body couldn't refuse his offer. The two of them settled into the double bed. Despite his tiredness, Cid could still feel Tifa's worry and he rolled on his side. She looked at him in the dim light and gave an insincere smile. Cid's heart was stung just enough by the way she looked to cause him to place one of his arms over her. Tifa closed her eyes enjoying her friend's closeness and after a while, she fell asleep.


	45. Morning

Guilt's Cost: Part XLV

Morning

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Cid woke up at six in the morning, just as he had every day as long as he could remember. He never had needed to use an alarm clock; something for which he took some pride. He laid in the darkness, slightly disoriented both from where he was as well as the fact he felt someone beside him. Eventually he came to remember the events of the night and sat up to see Tifa still very much asleep next to him.

Cid decided to let her sleep for just a little longer while he got ready for the day. She stirred slightly as he rose, mumbling something about Vincent. He sighed quietly, still feeling sorry for her.

He scooped up his clothes from where he'd cast them to the floor the night before on his way into the bathroom. After getting his shower running he shed the tank top and boxers he had slept in and got under the water, absent-mindedly talking to himself about the current situation.

Tifa sat up and rubbed her eyes. The sound of Cid's voice resonating in the tiled bathroom had woken her. She got up and made her way to the light switch, having to cover her eyes briefly before adjusting to the brightness. Seeing that the clothes she was wearing were in need of changing, Tifa picked up her blanket from the bed and slipped back to her own room. There was also a part of her that wanted out of Cid's room, feeling slightly embarrassed about her need to cling to him the night before. Somewhere in her mind there was consideration given to whether or not Vincent would have approved but she shrugged those thoughts off as she opened the door to her room.

Cid stepped out of the shower and started to dress. He stopped short of putting his shirt on, subconsciously wanting to see if Tifa would react to his physique. Although middle aged, he still thought he had his high school appearance. Upon opening the door to his bathroom Cid's cocky smile faded as he found his room vacated. He shrugged slightly in disappointment before going back into the bathroom to finish getting ready.

After changing, Tifa looked around her room and found that her luggage from the airship had been brought in and placed on the couch. She opened her bag and rummaged through it looking for things to take with her on the trip to Mideel. When Tifa lifted up a pair of shorts from the suitcase she fell to her knees, realizing that her world had fallen apart. Laying in the suitcase before her was Vincent's gun. The stark black metal of the weapon was set off by his red scarf, which he had wrapped around it at some point.

Seeing such a personal item of his stung her heart. She reached out weakly and picked up the Death Penalty. Tifa held it gently in her right hand, pulling the red strip of cloth off of it. She took the tattered piece of fabric and brought it up to her face, taking in Vincent's scent with a deep breath. The gun in her other hand was immaculate. Vincent had cleaned it thoroughly before packing it and his attention to detail showed. Tifa could find no flaw, no speck of dust upon its surface. With these two items held to her chest, Tifa collapsed to the floor sobbing.

Cid stared at his image in the bathroom mirror. After a few minutes of furious brushing, he threw his comb back on the bathroom counter. Strangely enough, his hair looked exactly as it had before he had combed it. He walked out into his room and picked his coat up off the bed, throwing it around his shoulders. Cid pulled his flight goggles from his pocket and snapped them around his head. Even he had no idea why he wore them; all of his planes had enclosed cockpits. Maybe on some level he just thought they made him _look _like a flier.

Cid went around the room tossing his few items back into his duffel bag before throwing it over his shoulder and walking out of his room. He stood in the corridor not quite sure where he was supposed to go. He had failed to pay much attention to the layout of the base when he arrived the night before. One of the rooms a few paces away had the door slightly ajar and Cid heard crying from within. The sound of the sobbing was all too familiar and he rolled his eyes knowing that Tifa was back at it. He went to the door and pushed it open the rest of the way finding Tifa kneeling with a gun clutched to her chest.

Cid panicked thinking the worst and ran over to her, ripping the gun from her grip. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Tifa gazed up at him with tear filled eyes. She realized the source of his concern. "No, it's not what you think… I just found his gun while getting dressed and it started to make me think about him."

Cid was inclined to believe her, but still felt the need to set the gun down a safe distance away. He came back over and extended his hand to help her up. "Come on, Tifa."

She got up, wobbling slightly from her continued crying. Tifa still had the red scarf in her hands and buried her face in it, knowing that Cid didn't want to see her cry.

Cid crossed his arms over his chest and watched her for a moment. _Such a pretty girl shouldn't have to go through all this heartbreak, _he thought. _Why is it always the cute ones that fall for the weirdoes? Seems like a damned waste if you ask me._

Tifa almost seemed to hear his thoughts and she looked up at him, wiping the remaining moisture from her cheeks with the back of her left hand. "Sorry, Cid. You probably think I'm being a big baby about this."

Cid's unconscious frown shattered. "No, Tifa, I don't. I think it's the guys who would put you through this that are the fucking idiots."

She came up with a smile, finding it ironic that Cid Highwind would have something to say about how a man could treat a woman. "That's kind of funny, coming from you."

"What?" Cid donned another frown. "There is nothing wrong with the way me and Shera get along."

Tifa laughed out loud. "Yeah, never mind the fact that she almost left you the night Vincent and I were there."

"God Damned pregnancy hormones did that one." Cid scoffed. "Shera loves me for whatever reason, and she knows I like her too."

"You _like _her?" Tifa crossed her arms, mimicking Cid's stance.

Cid narrowed his eyes. Women and their need to talk about _feelings_ bugged him. "What the Hell do you want from me?"

"I want to hear you say it, Cid." Tifa wasn't going to let him off without a confession.

Cid stretched out and scratched the back of his head. "You know I do, otherwise I wouldn't still live with her, and I certainly wouldn't have knocked her up."

"Say it." Tifa shoved him lightly.

"Jesus, Tifa." Cid let his arms fall back to his sides. "You women folk are a right fine pain in the ass, you know that? Fine, I love Shera. Happy?"

Tifa grinned widely and threw her arms around him. "See? Don't you feel better for saying it?"

"No," Cid wriggled free from her embrace. "I feel like a God Damned ass. Can we knock this the Hell off now, please?"

Tifa turned around and picked up her backpack that she had been filling with personal effects for the trip. She carefully folded Vincent's scarf and placed it in amongst her things. "Okay, I think I'm ready to go."

They turned to leave finding Tseng standing in the doorway. "Good morning."

Cid and Tifa nodded in response. They may have both been somewhat embarrassed at the thought of Tseng having eavesdropped on their conversation.

Tseng felt their tension and smiled. "Don't worry Mr. Highwind, you true feelings for your wife are safe with me."

Cid produced an uncomfortable smile. "Yeah, well, isn't it time we took off?"

"Yes, you should probably get Tifa on her way." Tseng turned and started down the hall, Tifa and Cid following behind.

Before starting up the corridor that ascended to the airfield, Tifa quit walking. Tseng and Cid turned to her. 

Tifa fidgeted. "Will you guys wait here just a sec?"

The two men knew what she was up to and nodded.

With their permission, she ran down a corridor to the left and emerged in the prison area a short while later. She made her way to the side of Vincent's casket and knelt down so she could see him through the window.

She cleared her throat. "Hi Vincent. I have to go to Mideel for a while to check on something for Tseng. I would rather stay here with you, but it seems really important to him that I go. But just so you don't worry, I want you to know that Cid is here and he's going with me, so rest easy."

She was caught a little off guard by her own remark and laughed. "Sorry, no pun intended there. But I'll be back soon, okay? Then I can see what I can do about getting you out of there, and I'll tell you what we did in Mideel, even though Tseng wants it to be kept secret. I can trust you though, huh? Well, I got to go."

Tifa got back up and started away. She stopped just short of leaving the room and ran back to the casket. She bent down and smiled through the window. "I almost forgot." Tifa kissed the glass, leaving a lipstick mark. "I love you, don't forget."

With that, she flew from the room and met back up with her companions. "Okay, let's go."


	46. Manipulation

Guilt's Cost: Part XLVI

Manipulation

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Quigley sat at his desk, lost in the piles of books and charts. Hojo had him currently assigned to the development of new bio-electro converters and he was at that particular moment stuck on a certain conversion equation. He searched his desktop for a pencil forgetting that he already had one stuck behind each ear. His mind was even more distracted than usual as he dwelt on the letter that Porter had given to him the day before. He needed to get in contact with Tseng back at the ASRIO base but hadn't found the time. Somewhere inside, he thought that the information contained in the letter seemed a little too good to be true. Knowing that there was sure to be some level of suspicion about his loyalty to the company, Quigley almost thought that the letter had been an intentional piece of misinformation and he knew he should check it out further before notifying Tseng. He got that chance sooner than he expected.

The door to his office was flung open and Quigley looked up to see Hojo standing before him. "Professor, can I help you?"

Hojo smiled and sat down in one of the two chairs flanking the researcher's desk. "I hadn't the opportunity to touch bases with you in a while, and I thought I should come by. How are you coming with the converters?"

"Oh, let's see." Quigley shuffled through some papers coming up with a report sheet. "Here's the progress so far. I think there is a good chance we may find a way to harness twice the pranic energy of our previous converters if my calculations come out correct."

Hojo took the report and looked over it briefly before tossing it back to the desk. "That would be quite an improvement, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah." Quigley tucked the report back into its 'correct' pile on the desk.

Hojo sat silent for a moment before leaning closer to the researcher. "Did Porter get that memo to you the other day?"

Quigley swallowed hard, not expecting the question. "Yes, yes he did. I was a little surprised to read that Cloud Strife is in the lab."

"As I suppose you would be." Hojo smiled to himself. "Mr. Strife has been quite an interesting subject to study, and I have learned much."

There was still some doubt as to the truthfulness of Hojo's claim to have the ex-SOLDIER. "It must be quite a sight. He is alive, I take it?"

Hojo was pleased with how easily Quigley was being led into the snare. "Yes, as a matter of fact. Would you like to see him?"

This was the opportunity Quigley had been hoping for. With visual confirmation of Cloud's presence he could tell Tseng the news with confidence. "I would be honored, Professor."

"Good. Come with me." Hojo got up and walked from the room.

Quigley was led to the lab and let in. The room was still off limits to the other researchers and he and Hojo found themselves alone.

Hojo walked to the middle of the room. "Mr. Strife, please come here."

From a dark corner Cloud emerged. He walked to Hojo and stopped just a few paces from him. Cloud nodded slightly in recognition of the Professor.

Quigley moved closer to them, unable to believe his eyes. It was Cloud, and he was alive. "My God Hojo! You just have him loose like that?"

Hojo turned away from his specimen and looked at Quigley. "Mr. Strife and I have reached an agreement. He allows me to study him, and I find a way to bring back the dead ancient that he loves so dearly. Right, Mr. Strife?"

Cloud's lips produced a smile and he nodded again. "Yes, Hojo."

Hearing him speak was the last confirmation Quigley needed. "This is amazing…"

"Yes, it is." Hojo grinned in pride. He could see Quigley was completely taken by the illusion. His plan was going perfectly. "Well Quigley, I need to get back to work. Do you think you could see yourself out?"

Quigley was brought out of his reverie and turned away. "Yeah, I should probably get back to the converters."

Just before Quigley closed the door, Hojo put the last piece into place. "And Quigley, keep this between us. You are one of the few people here I feel I can trust with this secret. If it got out to the wrong people, who knows what would happen."

"Yes, Professor." Quigley locked the door behind him, running a hand through his shaggy hair. He needed to get a hold of Tseng, and fast.


	47. Take Off

Guilt's Cost: Part XLVII

Take Off

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa, Tseng, and Cid stood next to the plane. Cid had already opened the door on the side of the craft and had tossed their two bags inside. He was just waiting to finish his cigarette before getting in. 

Tifa was closer to Tseng a few paces away. 

"Now remember, don't talk to anyone other than Brandon and those he says you can trust. Once you find out if he's right or not, get back here." Tseng said to her, perhaps with just a little too much seriousness in his voice.

Tifa dropped her gaze to the ground. "I promise. Keep an eye on Vincent, okay? If something went wrong with that box and he woke up trapped inside, he would freak."

"Don't worry." Tseng gave her a smile. "I will check on him personally, and I'm sure Angel will keep track of him too. I think you're friend is ready."

Cid stood with his arms crossed, having thrown the rest of his cigarette to the ground. He was obviously getting anxious.

"Okay." Tifa embraced Tseng, taking one last memory from him about what Vincent felt like. "We'll see you soon."

Tseng stepped back from her. "All right. Be careful."

Cid helped Tifa into the plane and then climbed in himself. Tifa sat in the copilot's seat and Cid took up his place to the right of her. 

Tifa couldn't contain her excitement about being in a plane very well. "This is so cool!"

"You're a girl after my own heart." Cid mumbled to himself as he started the plane's engines.

The plane slowly crept toward the runway, the engines occasionally giving off a loud backfire. Tseng watched the spectacle and prayed that the ragtag plane would hold together long enough to get them to Mideel.

Cid lined the plane up on the runway and looked over at Tifa. "You're strapped in, right?"

Tifa grinned pointing to the belt that she had cinched around her waist. "Affirmative."

Cid was not a morning person, and her level of enthusiasm bordered on annoying. "Okay, hold on."

With that, Cid gunned the engines and the plane raced down the runway gaining speed. He pulled up sharply upon takeoff, making Tifa's stomach sink. 

Tseng continued to watch from the ground until the plane disappeared into the distance. Just as he prepared to start heading back into the base, the pager in his pocket went off. He pulled it out to see that it was a page from Quigley. He jogged back into the base, knowing that the spy never contacted him unless it was important.

Tseng reached the secure phone in his quarters and dialed. 

Quigley answered before the completion of the first ring. "Hello?"

"It's me." Tseng said simply.

"Oh, good." Quigley's voice relaxed just a little. "Hojo is up to some real bad things."

"Tell me something new." Tseng replied, sinking into a chair.

"He has Cloud Strife." Quigley said quietly.

Tseng stood back up. "You mean he has his body, right?"

Quigley sighed. "No, I mean he has Cloud Strife. He isn't dead. I saw him this afternoon with my own eyes. Walking and talking, I kid you not."

Tseng remained silent. He figured that Tifa could have been mistaken about Cloud's death. After all, they hadn't found a body in the house. Finally he responded. "Oh shit. What are they doing to him?"

"He looked fine, and Hojo said he had just been studying him. Tseng, he's not even being confined; it's like he's there of his own volition." Quigley said with a bit of anger.

Tseng was confused. "What would be his motivation for that?"

"Hojo said that he had made a deal with Cloud. In return for being studied, Hojo was going to resurrect the ancient for him." The researcher was clearly disturbed by this.

"Oh…" Tseng fell back into the chair. Cloud had obviously fallen prey to his depression to attempt suicide, and it seemed almost reasonable that for the promise of having the source of his pain healed that he would go through anything. "This is bad."

Quigley was growing nervous about still being on the line. "That is all the information I have, so I'd better go."

"Sure." Tseng hung the phone up and slumped forward in his seat. This combined with the rumor from Mideel was too much. He reached into his coat pocket and quickly took another tablet for his heart. 

He was going to have to get Cloud out of the lab; that was a given. But how Tifa would react when she heard that he wasn't dead was another thing. He didn't want to tell her, both for her sake as well as Vincent's, but he knew that wasn't an option. He needed to go see Angel and Reno.

***

Back on the plane, Tifa was becoming used to the feeling of being airborne. She stared out the window seeing the blue of the ocean beneath them.

"Do you mind?" Cid asked.

"What?" Tifa snapped out of her daydream and turned toward him.

He held up his cigarettes. "Do you mind if I smoke?"

Truth was, the interior of the plane already reeked so much of smoke that it wouldn't matter. "No, go ahead."

Cid nodded and lit up. He lazily let the plane glide back and forth in the sky, enjoying the feeling of freedom.

Tifa continued to look at him, seeing that he looked completely at ease. She admired him for knowing what his calling in life was. She wished she could find hers.

Cid felt the weight of her stare and glanced over at her. "You're not gonna start crying again or something are you?"

"No." Tifa managed with a smile. "I was just watching you. When did you know what you wanted to do with your life?"

Cid rolled his eyes. "Oh shit, not more of that heavy talk."

"Cid, I really want to know." Tifa almost begged. She needed to get a conversation started or she _was_ going to cry.

"Fine." Cid thought for a moment. "My dad flew, and growing up I just wanted to be like him. There was never any doubt about what I would become when I became an adult."

Tifa nodded. "So you never even considered anything else?"

"Nope." He flicked some ashes to the floor of the cockpit. "I was gonna fly God Damn it, and no one was going to stop me."

"You really love it, don't you?" Tifa asked.

"Would I do it if I didn't? Cid Highwind does what he likes, and tells everyone else to fuck off." He smiled.

Tifa grinned in response. Cid had always held a special place in her heart. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, there was a very nice man deep down within him. "I'm so happy you're coming with me."

Cid sighed. "Yeah, I know, we've been over that already, woman."

"I just don't want you to forget, that's all." Tifa turned her gaze back out the window.

"I got it, don't worry. You keep stroking my ego with your lovey 'I like you, Cid' bullshit, and I'm gonna think you got a thing for me." He said, half to himself.

She reached over and mussed his hair. "I do have a thing for you."

Cid looked over at her, his eyes betraying his doubt. "No you don't. You're into 'pretty boys'. I'm more the rugged, handsome type."

"You think of Vincent and Cloud as 'pretty boys'?" Tifa laughed.

Cid rolled his eyes, letting more ashes hit the floor. "Please, are you kidding? Not to bring up any bad memories or shit, but do you remember how much time Cloud spent on his hair every morning?"

Tifa shook her head. "No, he did have a thing about that, didn't he?"

"Yeah." Cid smiled at the memory. "And Vincent, come on! With that hair and that figure, he practically _is _a girl."

"Hey, that's my man you're talking about!" She retorted jokingly.

"So, he still is a 'pretty boy'. Girls just love that shit. Especially combined with that Goth, depression kind of thing. You women just think it means he's _sensitive_ or some such thing. Never give any thought whatsoever about how gay that whole thing is." Cid flipped a hand at her. "Speaking of which, what do you think about Tseng?"

"He's nice." She shrugged. "There is a lot of Vincent there."

"Yeah, but don't you think he might be a little… you know…." Cid looked over at her again.

"If you think he's queer, just come out and say it, Cid." Tifa said, locking him in her gaze.

"You know him better than I do." Cid responded, turning his attention back to the controls.

She shrugged again. "I might be tempted to think that, but I've never asked, and he's never said anything."

"Uh-huh." Cid nodded. "I thought so."

Tifa raised her eyebrows. "Why? You interested?"

Cid almost took offense to her joke. "I ain't like that, sister." He raised his left hand flashing the gold band on his ring finger. "I got me a woman."

Tifa laughed. "I know, I'm just messing with you."

"So I figured." Cid relaxed into his seat. He reached down and dropped the remains of his cigarette into a coffee can wedged beneath the control panel. "What do you think we're in for in Mideel?"

"Tseng never said anything informative." Tifa watched as the clouds rolled beneath them. "All I know is that it involves Brandon."

"As in the doctor?" Cid asked.

"Yeah," Tifa grinned at the thought. "The same one that took care of Cloud after he washed up."

Cid nodded pensively. "Not much goes on down there these days. I wonder what it could be?"

"I haven't got the slightest clue." Tifa sighed.


	48. Conference

Guilt's Cost: Part XLVIII

Conference

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tseng found Angel and Reno in the main control room. 

Angel noticed him first and upon seeing the pained look on his face grew afraid. "Uncle, are you all right? Is your heart bothering you?"

"No." Tseng shook his head, lying just a little. "I need to talk to you two in the conference room immediately."

The two of them looked at each other with concern. This was more urgency than they had seen from him in a long time. They followed him into the conference room; finding Zale, Morris, and Ericson already seated. Reno and Angel took their places.

Tseng paced before the long table, dreading what he was about to say. "Okay, we've got a couple of problems. One I have Tifa looking into right now, and until she can confirm or deny the reports I've received from Mideel, I'm going to put that one aside for the time being. Unfortunately, I just got a call from Quigley in Midgar."

A hushed gasp went through the room. They all knew how rarely that particular agent checked in.

He acknowledged their surprise with a nod. "He told me something that cannot leave this room for now. As you know, when Ms. Lockheart arrived here, she told us that Cloud Strife had taken his own life. You also know that his body was not found. Apparently, she was mistaken about his death, for Quigley has told me that he is in fact alive."

Another mummer from the crowd, and Angel covered her mouth with her hands.

"Shocking, I know." He sighed as much to himself as those present. "According to Quigley, he's living in the Shin Ra lab of what appears to be his own will."

Reno stood up and hit the table before him. "Then Quigley must be fucking wrong!"

Tseng raised his hand, causing Reno to sink back into his seat. "I have no reason to doubt what he has said. Quigley has never misled me before, and I don't think he is now."

"So he's actually seen him there, then?" Ericson asked from his place in the other end of the room.

"Yes." Tseng made his way toward his seat at the head of the table. "He had indeed seen him as well as heard him talk. Apparently Hojo has gained his cooperation by promising to bring back Aeris if he allows himself to be subjected to some studies."

"But she's been dead for seven years!" Reno got up again. "Even if he managed to find a Phoenix Down it would be too late to bring her back!"

Tseng raised his eyebrows as he looked over to Reno. "We all are aware of that, Reno. But if Cloud was disturbed enough to try to take his own life, then who's to say that he wouldn't be fooled by Hojo's promises? Besides, even if he did have a way to bring her back, I think we all know that Hojo is not a man of his word, and he wouldn't do it anyway."

Angel reached up and pulled Reno back into his seat again. His tendency to have outbursts during meetings was something that she had become accustomed to. "Uncle, what do you propose we do?"

Tseng finally reached his own chair and fell back into it. "We have to get him out of there, plain and simple."

"How are we going to force someone as powerful as Cloud to come with us if he doesn't want to?" Angel asked.

Tseng hung his head. He had already put some thought into this and had only come up with one answer; an answer he didn't like. "We will have to take Ms. Lockheart with us. Maybe she can get through to him. After all, she is his wife."

Angel's heart was shocked by this. "But what about Tifa? How is she going to feel about this? Have you told her? What… what about my father?"

Tseng sunk even further into his seat. "Angel, I don't know what else to do. We just cannot allow Hojo to have Cloud, no matter what the consequences are for Tifa or Vincent."

The greater good of the mission escaped Angel's grasp. She was too emotionally involved in both Tifa and Vincent to agree. "But we can't do that to them!"

Tseng rose from his chair and made his way to Angel. He placed his hands on her shoulders and spoke into her ear. "I am sorry, Angel, but I am going to have to dismiss you from this operation. I think your feelings are going to get in the way."

Angel shot up from her seat with tears in her eyes. She spun around to face Tseng. "The Hell with Cloud! I can't believe you are going to put Tifa through this!"

"Angel, I know this hurts. I understand your concerns, and I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that this isn't killing me as well, but there is no other alternative. So again I must ask you to leave this room." He said staring into her eyes. The pain he saw within her stung him back but he couldn't let his emotions for Tifa and his brother get in the way.

Angel ran from the room, slamming the door behind her. She ran all the way back to her quarters, her eyes stung by bitter tears of resentment for her uncle's choice of action.

Reno looked over at Tseng with blatant anger on his face. "Good job, Tseng. Now I'm gonna have to deal with that shit."

"Shut up, Reno." He bent down to be on his level. "You know as well as I do that there are certain risks in our business and that we can't always do what our _feelings_ say we should. We can't risk Hojo making Cloud into some new Sephiroth. If that means that there are going to be some hard times for Tifa and Vincent, then so be it."

Reno backed down, sensing that Tseng was not in the mood to argue. He crossed his arms over his chest and put his feet up onto the table.

"Thank you." Tseng straightened back up. "Now, for my other point of concern. As much as I hate to do this, we need to get Quigley out of Midgar."

"But Sir!" Zale started, "He's our best plant in Shin Ra!"

"Yes, but if we proceed with him still in Midgar they will realize that he is an agent. I can't chance him getting killed. Quigley has served us too well to not save him." Tseng had a genuine liking for him. "Reno, I want you to retrieve him tomorrow."

He rolled his eyes, knowing that this was going to be a boring trip. "Fine."

"We'll have the helicopter drop you off in Kalm. From there, I want you to drive into Midgar, wait for Quigley to show up at his apartment then bring him home." Tseng narrowed his eyes at Reno. "Do you think you can handle that?"

Reno scoffed. "Sure."


	49. Amnesia

Guilt's Cost XLIX

Amnesia

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Cid and Tifa reached Mideel by late afternoon. He allowed the plane to circle over the town for a moment while looking for some place to set down. The life-stream fissure that had torn through the center of the town seven years ago still glowed beneath them. The town had been rebuilt after the earthquake and bridges crisscrossed the glowing river below them.

Cid finally spotted a relatively flat field just outside town and brought the plane to rest. He and Tifa disembarked from the plane and started toward the town's gates. 

Cid had both of their bags slung over his shoulder and soon had another cigarette lit up. "God Damn, this is nice."

Tifa smiled. "Yeah, it's so beautiful here."

He laughed. "Hell no, not that. I was talking about being able to smoke whenever I damn well please."

"What do you mean?" She had a suspicion, but still asked.

"Oh, ever since fuckin' Shera got pregnant, she won't let me smoke in the house, and she's always bitching at me to quit. Some damned fool gave her the idea that if I smoke around her the baby's gonna come out with four arms or something." He said with some disdain.

"And you stopped smoking in the house for her?" Tifa was somewhat surprised.

"Well Hell, she's already emotional enough being pregnant. I don't want her comin' after me with a kitchen knife or something." His voice got quieter. "I've even thought about quitting."

Tifa stopped walking and looked at him wide eyed. "Are you serious?"

Cid kept going, not needing to see the expression she wore. "Yeah, maybe. I don't know."

"You really do love her! See, I knew it." Tifa ran to catch back up with him.

"Why do you feel the need to keep bringing that up? Jesus, I'm starting to think you have a one track mind." Cid flicked the remainder of his cigarette off to the side.

The town spread out before them, still obviously under some amount of construction. The light that emanated from the river of life stream reflected off the white washed buildings making them seem as though they were made of emerald.

Tifa took in the spectacle in awe. "Oh my, I've never seen anything like this. It's beautiful!"

Cid brushed past her. "It's creepy. Come on, let's find the God Damned doctor's house."

Tifa asked a local for directions and they soon found themselves on the porch the Brandon's home. She knocked on the door.

The aged doctor opened the door and greeted his guests. "Oh, Ms. Lockheart and Mr. Highwind! I'm so happy you've arrived! Please, come in."

They entered his humble abode and Cid threw their packs onto a chair. Brandon went and fetched some cups from the kitchen and set them on the coffee table. He then went back to the kitchen and retrieved a teapot. As he filled the cups, he motioned for the two of his guests to sit on the couch.

Cid reached out and took his cup. "About time I got some damned tea."

The doctor smiled as he took up his own drink and sat in a chair opposite to them. "I'm glad that you approve."

Tifa couldn't stand the suspense any longer. "So what is it we had to come here for?"

Brandon furrowed his brow as he took a sip of tea. "You cut to the chase, don't you, Ms. Lockheart? But first, I want to extend my apologies to you on the loss of your husband Cloud. Janice told me about what happened to him. It is a shame. After all you went through with him here I know you must have cared for him very deeply."

Tifa dropped her gaze to the floor. "Thank you, doctor. It was a tragedy. I thank you for your concern."

Cid put his cup back onto the table realizing that Tifa was getting ready to cry again. He scooted closer to her and put his hand on her knee. "Tifa's a strong girl. Aren't you?"

Tifa smiled up at Cid, knowing in a way that he was begging her not to let the tears come. "I'm trying to be."

Brandon grinned to see that Cid was being so supportive of her. She was lucky to have such good friends. "Well, let's change the subject, all right?" 

Tifa nodded "Okay."

"Good." Brandon settled into his seat. "The reason you are here is to make certain that I have not made a mistake with someone's identity. I know I haven't, but your friends in ASRIO need confirmation."

"So what the Hell is it?" Cid was getting impatient.

Brandon smiled. "Let me start from the beginning. You know that Mideel has always been a spring for the life stream, and how those who fall into it sometimes wash up here."

"Like Cloud did." Tifa said weakly.

"Exactly." He nodded. "After the fissure was widened by the earthquake seven years ago, this has happened even more often. One day two weeks after Meteor was destroyed I was out for my morning walk. As I made my way along the fissure's edge, I saw a body washed up against the bank. I pulled him out, realizing that this man was alive, but barely. I took him into our clinic and tried to help him. I knew right away who he was, but being a doctor I have a sworn duty to help anyone in need."

"Well who the Hell was it?" Cid asked, leaning forward.

"Do you two know what happened at the North Crater after Meteor?" Brandon asked.

Tifa brightened. "Yeah, life stream surged up within it, now it's a Mako lake."

"Yes." The doctor smiled. "Apparently one of the consequences of that was that those who had been in the crater at the time were pulled into the life stream."

Cid got up from the couch, waving his hands before him. "Stop right there, doctor. This ain't funny. You're going to say you found Sephiroth, aren't you?"

Brandon got up from his chair. "Let me show you something."

They watched in silence as Brandon pulled a small crate from the corner into the center of the room. He opened its lid and motioned for them to come over. "Look at this."

Tifa and Cid did as ordered.

She fell to her knees before the box and stared. The contents reeked of Mako despite all of their years of storage and there was just the faintest glow from within. Tifa reached in and pulled out one of two steel shoulder guards. It was all too familiar. Also in the box were a folded black overcoat, a pair of leather boots, and gloves. "Oh my God, he survived?"

Cid couldn't believe his eyes as he looked down over Tifa's shoulder at Sephiroth's belongings. "Holy fucking shit."

"My sentiments exactly." Brandon sighed. "I don't know if he survived outright or if his soul was somehow reunited with his body in the life stream, but either way, he washed up alive."

Tifa placed the piece of armor she had been holding back into the crate gently. Her mind raced with questions, but she found the words for none.

"He remained in the hospital comatose for six months. His level of poisoning was unbelievable, and I truly started to think that he was going to remain asleep forever. One day though, he seemed to come around. I tried to talk with him, but I soon came to find out that he had absolutely no memory of who he was. His Mako exposure had been long enough to erase his memory completely."

"The Jenova cells within him didn't help him at all?" Cid asked.

"Apparently one of the side effects from his prolonged exposure to the life stream was that all of the Jenova cells within him died. He is completely human now. As normal as you or I." Brandon closed the lid to the crate and shoved it back into the corner. "He remained in the hospital for sometime after his recovery. Seeing his boredom with the situation, I got him a job working for my friend in his bookstore. My friend has since passed away, and now the once great Sephiroth runs the shop."

The thought of Sephiroth having a real job struck Cid as humorous. "No shit?"

"None whatsoever." Brandon grinned. "I never told him who he was. I have let him develop as his own person, and I have to say, the results have been… interesting."

"I can't believe this." That was all Tifa could manage.

"Of course, he isn't called Sephiroth these days. He had to come up with his own name."

Tifa looked up at him. "What is it?"

Brandon had to suppress a laugh. "He finally told me one day that his name was Jaras, last name Ross."

Cid fell back to the couch howling with laughter. "Oh fuck, are you serious? Jaras Ross? Fuck me, that's great…"

Tifa too donned a grin to hear this. She never thought in a million year that Sephiroth would have done some thing funny. "Sephiroth, Jaras Ross? Oh man!"

They all had a good laugh over it for a while before settling down again.

Brandon shook his head. "I guess that name is proof that on some unconscious level he does remember something."

Tifa and Cid nodded.

Brandon went over and grabbed his jacket from the wall. "Come on, I think it's time you met Mr. Ross."


	50. Introduction

Guilt's Cost: Part L

Introduction

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Nightfall had descended on Mideel by the time they got to the bookstore. The town no longer needed streetlights as the glow from the life stream kept everything illuminated.

Tifa was holding Cid's hand out of her fear of who they were about to face. Although Cid seemed outwardly unaffected, inside he too was filled with apprehension. 

Brandon opened the door to the shop and they all filed in. Someone was sitting at a table in the corner with the evening newspaper held out before them. All that could be spotted of the reader behind the paper was his legs resting up on the table as he leaned back reading. His dirty white tennis shoes swayed back and forth unconsciously as he read.

Brandon cleared his throat to make his presence know. "Hello Jaras."

He threw the paper down and stood up quickly. Having been engrossed in his reading, he had not heard them enter the shop. "Hey Doc."

Tifa and Cid just stared agog. It was Sephiroth or at least, it had been. He stood before them in a pair of knee length khaki shorts, with his socks slouched down toward his shoes. He wore a white tee shirt over which he had on an unbuttoned long sleeve denim shirt. His trademark silver hair was still there, and still the same length, but had been tied back into a sloppy ponytail. Resting on the end of his nose were a small pair of gold framed reading glasses.

Brandon took a step forward. "I have brought some friends to meet you."

Jaras smiled warmly and raised his eyebrows. "Oh really?"

"Yes." The doctor replied stepping to the side to reveal Cid and Tifa. "This is Cid Highwind and Tifa Lockheart."

Jaras stepped forward and extended his hand to Cid. "Hey, aren't you some of the AVALANCHE members that save the world?"

Tifa gasped, fearing that he had more recollection than Brandon had suspected. "Uh, yes, yes we are."

After shaking Cid and Tifa's hands he stepped back and pointed to a shelf. "This is great! I've read every book written about that stuff. You guys did some really amazing things back then. I must have been alive back then, but unfortunately my Mako exposure robbed me of any memories."

Tifa nodded slightly, thinking it strange that she would be talking to Sephiroth like he had nothing to do with those events. "Well, we did what we had to."

Jaras grinned and pulled a book off the self that had a picture of Sephiroth on the cover. He held it up for their inspection. "Yeah, this Sephiroth guy was a real nut job, huh? Good looking guy though."

Had Tifa and Cid not been so overwhelmed they would have laughed at his last remark. Instead they just looked on in deathly silence.

Jaras shrugged and tossed the book back onto the shelf. "Is something wrong?"

"You really don't remember anything?" Tifa asked, taking a step towards him.

Jaras furrowed his brow. "No, I don't. Why do you know who I am?"

She was stung by the slight hint of hope in his voice. Tifa looked back at Brandon, searching for any help from him.

Brandon nodded. "It's fine Tifa. I think he's ready to know now."

Jaras looked at the doctor. "They know who I am?"

"We all do, Jaras." Brandon said. "I think we need to sit."

They made their way to the table he had been sitting at before and took their places. 

Jaras leaned forward in his seat with his elbows on the table. "Even you know, Brandon?"

The doctor nodded, some shame on his face. He had come to like Jaras and regretted what he now had to learn. "Yes Jaras, but I think it best for you to hear from these two."

His green eyes were turned to Tifa and Cid pleadingly. Rediscovering his identity was something he had been waiting for. "Please tell me."

Tifa smiled at him faintly. "You mean to tell me that after all this time of reading those books about Sephiroth you never noticed that you looked like him?"

Jaras grinned dismissively. "Well, yeah, sort of. Then again, there are a lot of people who look like someone else. Surely you're not implying that I am Sephiroth."

Cid sighed. "Sorry son, but you're Sephiroth."

Jaras got up from the table and walked back over to the shelf holding the history books. He picked back up another with the former SOLDIER general on the cover. He stood staring at the image for a few moments. "No, I can't be…"

Tifa saw the expression of terror that overcame Jaras's face at that moment. She got up from her seat and walked to him. "I'm sorry, but you are."

Jaras let the book fall to the floor, and he began to shake. "No, that would make me a murderer…"

"The person you were then and who you are now are two separate individuals." Tifa placed a hand on his shoulder. "We can all see that."

Cid got up and came over too. "That's probably a pretty fucked up thing to find out, but you have a right to know."

Jaras nodded weakly without looking at them. "You're sure I am? Isn't there any possibility you might be mistaken?" He was searching for any possible escape from the inevitable truth.

Cid clapped him on the back. "I think we're just a little too familiar with you to say otherwise."

Brandon watched, feeling terrible for what Jaras was going through. "I had them come here to help you. I know you've lived here in peace for all these years, but I'm afraid that sooner or later someone working for Shin Ra is going to notice you. I just want you to be safe."

There was just the slightest hint of tears in Jaras's eyes. "I understand. But I don't want to leave. I've been so happy here in Mideel, I can't imagine anything else."

Tifa looked over at Cid and Brandon. She needed to tell Jaras some things that they weren't aware of. "Can Jaras and I have a minute alone?"

Cid shrugged. "If you're sure."

"Yes." She replied.

Brandon and Cid reluctantly walked from the shop. Jaras turned his gaze to her and sighed.

Tifa gave him a smile. Whether he had been Sephiroth or not, he deserved better. "I'm sorry you had to learn this, but it's for the best. But there are some other things that you need to know. You have family members that are still alive."

He shook his head. "If I'm Sephiroth, then my mother is dead and my father is a deranged madman."

"No, I know the truth about who your father is. It wasn't Hojo, it was a Turk named Vincent Valentine." She admitted, taking up one of his strong hands.

He looked down at her in confusion. "The same Vincent Valentine that was with AVALANCHE?"

She smiled. "Yes, the very same. He is alive but in stasis at the moment. ASRIO is trying to find a way to cure a problem he has. But you also have an uncle and a half sister."

Jaras almost smiled. "I do?"

"Yes, and I'm certain that they would like to see that you are all right." She answered. 

"You mean that they would like to see that I'm not _evil._" He corrected.

Tifa nodded. "You seem to be a wonderful man, Jaras. We want to help you. Please come with us to the ASRIO base."

He turned away from her. "This is something I need sometime to think about. I would have to arrange for someone to take care of the shop and what not."

Tifa let his hand go and dropped her gaze away from him. She knew he wasn't coming. "Okay, but if you change your mind, let Brandon know so he can call us, all right?"

He looked back down at her, taking the small reading glasses from his face. "I will. Thank you for telling me the truth. I think I need to be alone for a while."

"Okay." Tifa slowly backed away towards the door. "Maybe we can see you again before we leave in the morning."

"Sure." Jaras said with a slight nod. He turned and headed for the shop's back room. He stopped briefly. "If I'm Sephiroth and you were one of the people who wanted to kill me back then, why are you trying to help me now?"

"Oh," She looked back at him, "because everyone deserves a second chance."

"Even someone who wanted to destroy the world?" A tear trailed down his cheek.

"Part of what happened to you was a result of the Jenova within Sephiroth. The life stream killed that part of you." She forced a smile, knowing that her concern must be confusing in light of his past.

He nodded slightly, not able to return her smile. "I see. Thanks, but if you'll excuse me…"

She watched as he slowly walked into the back room, able to see the fact that he was crying. "I'm sorry…", Tifa said to herself as she turned back toward the door.

Tifa stepped out of the shop, finding Cid and Brandon waiting for her.

Tifa looked at Cid. "I can't believe it."

"It's pretty fucking amazing." He agreed. "But it's him."

Tifa nodded. "Yeah."

"Is he okay?" Brandon asked, coming closer to Tifa.

"He said he wanted to be alone for a while." She answered quietly. "He won't be coming with us. He wants to stay here."

Brandon sighed. "I'm just afraid of Shin Ra finding him. I think he's been lucky to get away with living here for seven years without being noticed, but it can't go on forever."

"If you do suspect anything, please let us know so we can return." Tifa looked back toward the door of the shop. 

Cid lit up a cigarette. "Well, let's get going."

"You don't intend to fly home tonight, do you?" The doctor asked. "I think you should leave in the morning. You really should get some rest."

"Yeah, Cid." Tifa was not feeling up to spending another eight hours on the plane tonight. "I thought we could stay for the evening."

"Tseng gave us an order to get back as soon as we found out." He crossed his arms over his chest. "And we found the Hell out."

"I'm sure he meant for us to return in a reasonable time frame. I don't see what difference a few hours are going to make." Tifa became slightly angry. She was tired and wanted to rest.

"Fine. We'll stay the Hell here." Cid rolled his eyes. He didn't like Mideel, and he certainly didn't like being this close to Sephiroth, nice guy now or not.

They went back to Brandon's home and settled in for the night. His home only had one bedroom, which he gave up to Tifa and Cid. They tried to refuse his offer, but he had insisted.

As they climbed into bed, Cid looked over at Tifa. "How do you think Sunshine's gonna feel to find out that we've slept together twice now?"

"Like you said, as long as you mean sleep as in sleep, I don't see the problem." Tifa laughed. "Why, you starting to like it?"

Cid clicked off the lamp next to the bed. "At least you don't fucking snore or anything."

"Well I'm glad to hear that." Tifa said in the darkness. "I can't help but feel sorry for Jaras."

"God Damn it." Cid rolled onto his side to face her, knowing more of the 'emotion' talk was going to start again. "Get it over with."

"It's just that, I don't think Sephiroth had a chance to turn out any other way than he did. Look at how he grew up in that lab! With Hojo constantly messing with him, and never getting any of the love that someone needs growing up, it was bound to turn out bad. But now all those memories are gone, and he's fine. I know we just met him tonight, but he couldn't be anymore different from his former self if he tried."

"Apart from the looking the same bit." Cid corrected. 

"Well he has no control over that." Tifa had always pitied Sephiroth on some level, and that had only been deepened tonight. "I hope Shin Ra never finds him. He deserves a normal life."

***

Jaras laid on the floor of the storeroom. The truth of who he was burned within his heart. His eyes were dimmed by angry tears, and his face was a ghastly shade. He wanted to go back to not knowing, but that was impossible.

Truth be told, he had thought about the possibility of being Sephiroth before. The resemblance was unnerving even to him, and the time frame of the SOLDIER general's death and his appearance in Mideel were awfully close. He had always dismissed these as coincidences before, never giving them serious consideration.

Part of him wanted to go with this evening's visitors to go see the family he had just discovered he had, but at the same time he was afraid to leave his home here. Going would be akin to admitting to the world who he was. Despite not having any memories of the past, he was suffering the guilt of what he had done before washing up in Mideel, and it was tearing him apart.

He remained paralyzed with fear, shame, and guilt for the rest of the night on the floor. Jaras couldn't even begin to completely comprehend the meaning of all that he had recently discovered.


	51. Leaving Mideel

Guilt's Cost: Part LI

Leaving Mideel

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The morning light was starting to pour into the windows of the small bookstore. Jaras had finally managed to scoop himself off the floor and he sat slouched over some invoices, trying to divert his mind by working. But it wasn't going so well. He read the invoices again and again, but they made no sense to him as his mind was still brooding over what he'd been told the night before. Jaras wanted to pretend that he still didn't know who he was, and for a few minutes he'd almost succeeded, that was until he accidentally caught a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror. Seeing Sephiroth looking back at him destroyed the illusion immediately. He was who he was, and there would be no denying it.

There had been such a yearning in his heart over the last seven years to learn who he was. He dreamt of finding a family that missed him and reuniting with them, causing his memory to return. Tifa said he did have a family, but it was likely that there was no love lost from them when he had supposedly been killed. As for regaining his memory, he had no desire any longer. If he came to remember all of the killing and insanity, he was certain that it would push him into madness. Jaras had studied enough of Sephiroth's history to know that he did not like the man he once was, in fact, he hated him. It was hard for him to understand how the introverted bookworm he was could have once been the world's greatest menace. It made no sense.

Yet the guilt of Sephiroth's actions crushed in on him. Even if he was a different person now, he was still responsible for what he had done. Jaras somehow wasn't surprised that the life stream had thrown him up. It was somehow fitting that not even the planet would accept Sephiroth after his supposed death. So it seemed ironic that the ones who finally came to claim him were his former enemies. Most likely Brandon had called them down just to make sure that he was no longer the evil villain he once was. But Tifa had seemed to genuinely care, and Jaras was puzzled. How could she forgive him for what he had done? Why?

Jaras needed to do something to help make amends for what he had done. All at once his fear of leaving Mideel began to fade. He knew what he needed to do. If by going with Tifa and Cid back to ASRIO he might be able to help them, then that is what he would do. Now how he could help them he did not know, but certainly something was there for him. At the very least he would get the chance to meet his relatives, and maybe just being able to see them and apologize for the past would be enough.

*******

Tifa and Cid were ready to head back to the plane. She begged him for them to head to the bookstore first but Cid had flat out refused. 

"Look, we've already wasted enough time by not leaving yesterday." He said, still immersed in his morning crabbiness. 

As Cid opened the door to the house and stepped out, he ran right into Jaras, sending both of them to the ground.

"God Damn it, watch where you're fucking going!" Cid brimmed with anger as he got up slowly.

Jaras jumped back up and extended his hand to help Cid who had obviously hurt something. "I'm terribly sorry!"

Cid ignored Jaras's outstretched hand and finished getting back to his feet on his own. "Obviously your manners haven't improved much over the last seven years."

Jaras stood in apologetic shock. He slowly bent to pick up his pack from the ground.

Tifa already annoyed with Cid's morning lack of tact, rushed forward to get to Jaras. It was clear from the look on his face that Cid's remark had hurt him deeply. "Jaras, are you okay?"

He nodded weakly. "Yes, but I don't think Mr. Highwind is."

Tifa glanced over her shoulder at the pilot, who was still cursing to himself about the fall he'd taken. "Never mind him, he's always like this in the morning. I'm glad you came by before we left. I wanted to see how you were doing after our talk last night."  
Jaras turned his gaze to the ground. "I had kind of a rough time at first, but now I'm doing better. I was wondering if your offer to take me with you still stood?"

Tifa clapped her hands together in excitement. "Really? You're coming?"

"I would like to." Jaras said quietly. "Maybe… maybe if I can help ASRIO in some way it will help make up for… my past."

Tifa threw her arms around him, thinking how good Vincent was going to feel once he realized that his son wasn't dead, and wasn't under Jenova's influence anymore. "Oh Jaras, I would love it if you came with us."

Cid, upon overhearing their conversation allowed his newly lit cigarette to fall from his lips. "The Hell? Now Sephy is going with us?"

Tifa turned to Cid, flames in her eyes. "His name is Jaras, and yes, he is."

"All right." Cid picked up his and Tifa's packs. "Whoever you are, we need to go now so get your ass on the plane."

Jaras nodded as Cid brushed past him. "Yes Sir."

Brandon came forward. "Well, looks like he's desperate to go so I won't keep you. Tifa, I want to thank you for helping Jaras. And Jaras, take care, okay?"

Jaras extended his hand to his old friend. "Thank you for taking care of me, Doc. That kid that's been helping me with the store is smart enough I think to run the operation for a while. Let him know that I'm going to be gone for the time being, okay?"

Brandon accepted the handshake and smiled. "I will, Jaras. I promise."

Once on board the plane, Cid got it into the air as quickly as possible. He circled over Mideel once to get his bearings in the air before aiming the plane towards Costa del Sol. Tifa sat in the copilot's seat again and Jaras sat behind her in one of the other two seats.

Tifa had a request of Cid that she knew he wasn't going to like. "Cid, can we stop over in New Nibleheim first?"

Cid furrowed his brow and growled between his teeth. "Did you not pay attention before? Tseng told us to get our asses back as soon as possible. Not after we give Seph…I mean Jaras a walk down memory lane."

Tifa allowed her anger to boil over. "Cid Highwind, you stop right there! Your mood has sucked all morning and I am tired of it! Now you take me to New Nibleheim so I can get some of my things from my house!"

Cid went wide-eyed and looked at her. "Real firecracker today, huh?"

"You take me there or else!" Tifa narrowed her eyes at her companion.

"Or else what?" Cid didn't seem impressed with her threat.

"Or else I'm gonna call Shera and tell her all the nice stuff you've said about her to me!" She gave an evil smile.

Cid mocked fright. "You wouldn't!"

She just crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips.

He knew he was in over his head with this one. Tifa rarely yelled, but when she did she meant business. "God Damn it, fine. You get fifteen minutes once we're on the ground, that's it. And Jaras and I ain't getting off this plane. I have no desire to set foot in that God forsaken town, and no one there needs to see our buddy here and have a flashback."

"Thank you." Tifa replied curtly. Inside she was pleased to have gotten her way.

Jaras just listened quietly from his seat. He didn't like confrontations (ironically enough) and wanted to stay out of it as much as possible. He could tell that Cid wasn't thrilled to have him on the plane and he didn't want to push his luck.


	52. Masamune

Guilt's Cost: Part LII

Masamune

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Cid spent most of the day flying in silence chain smoking. He genuinely was not happy about having to hit New Nibelheim before going back to Costa del Sol. Every once in a while, he would cast a nervous glance back at Jaras, certain that he would do something but he never did.

Jaras sat with his hands folded in his lap, head turned toward the window. Occasionally he would drift off to sleep for a few minutes at a time due to his exhaustion and stress. When he felt Cid's eyes on him he would pretend not to notice, but when Tifa faced him he would manage a polite smile.

Come afternoon they had landed in New Nibelheim. Cid turned to Tifa as she prepared to exit the plane. "Fifteen minutes. No more than that. If you aren't back in time I'm coming and dragging you back by your hair."

She smiled back at him. "You know, you keep this up and I might be tempted to steal you from Shera."

"Yeah, I'm shaking in my boots." Cid answered flipping a hand at her. "Hurry the Hell up."

Tifa made her way to the house she and Cloud had shared. A chill went down her spine as she stood in the family room. Although it had only been a few weeks, it seemed like she had been gone much longer. She walked over to the fireplace and looked above the mantle. There she found what she had really wanted to come to Nibelheim for. Tifa reached up and removed Cloud's proudest trophy from the wall. He had carried Sephiroth's masamune home from the North Crater and it had rested upon their wall ever since. Tifa examined the sword momentarily before sliding it back into its sheath. 

She set the weapon by the front door before running up the stairs to her room. Tifa entered the room and inspected it. There was a large dark stain on the blue carpet where Cloud had laid bleeding after stabbing himself. Tifa covered her mouth with her hands when she saw that the sword he had imbedded into himself was lying on the bed. The fact that his body was still unaccounted for caused her to tremble. She knew he was dead, he had to be after the injury he had sustained, at least that's what she had thought. Now her certainty was faltering. 

Time was running out and she shook herself out of her reverie. She went to her dresser and pulled out several articles of clothing, then stuffing them into a bag she had retrieved from the closet. Once she had all the things she had wanted, she took one more look around the room before going back downstairs.

She grabbed the sword that she had lain by the door and exited the house. Tifa failed to hear the few shouts of her neighbors as she walked back toward the plane. She wanted to get out of New Nibelheim as quickly as possible. There was nothing for her here anymore.

While waiting for Tifa to return to the plane Jaras had pulled a book out of his pack and had started reading. Cid had made one comment about Jaras's reading glasses, but when he was met by a cold and somewhat frightening gaze from him he backed off. Jaras would tolerate a lot, but not when it came to the fact that he had to wear glasses to read.

Turning back away from Jaras, Cid mumbled. "Yeah, pull the fucking Sephiroth stare, that's nice."

Jaras sighed and turned his eyes back to his book. "How old are you, Mr. Highwind?"

"Thirty fuckin' nine." Cid said. "Still managed to get laid on my birthday, thank you very much."

"Congratulations, I guess." Jaras turned the page, quite able to talk and read at the same time. "I wondered how old I was. My hair didn't help being as that it was obviously silver despite the fact I was not an old man. If my math is correct and I am Sephiroth, that would make me thirty four, would it not?"

Cid shrugged, dropping his last cigarette into the coffee can. "Yeah, so, what's your point?"

"Just that I find it amusing that you are so willing to make fun of my glasses when it is very likely that you yourself probably need them." Jaras didn't display the smile he felt.

Cid turned in his seat and faced Jaras. "I'm a God Damned pilot. I have perfect eyesight, always have."

Jaras looked up from the page before him and appeared thoughtful. "Really?"

"Yeah, really." Cid crossed his arms. 

Jaras lifted the book from his lap and turned it to face Cid. "Then what does this page say?"

Cid immediately flushed in embarrassment at being called on his claim. No matter how hard he squinted he couldn't make out the words printed on the paper. "Well shit Seph… Jaras! No one could read that from this far, it's too damned small!"

"Oh, my mistake." Jaras laid the book back into his lap.

Cid continued to stare even though Jaras simply returned to reading. Apparently Sephiroth's weird sense of humor was alive and well.

Tifa flung the door to the plane back open and climbed in. She threw her bag of clothes into the pile with her other, and carried the sword with her. Both Cid and Jaras turned to greet her.

"Hi." Tifa walked up to her seat, still clutching the sword in her hands.

"What the Hell is that?" Cid asked, already knowing the answer.

She handed the sword over to Jaras. "I thought you might want this."

He took the sword from her and pulled it half way from the sheath. Jaras's face flashed with recognition. "This… this is Sephiroth's masamune isn't it?"

"Yes." Tifa nodded. "Cloud kept it all these years, but now that he's gone, I figured you should have it back."

He returned the sword to its sheath with a click and looked up at Tifa with sad eyes. "Cloud is dead?"

"Yes." Tifa sighed quietly. "He killed himself a few weeks ago."

"God, I would have thought I would have heard of that with all the newspapers I read." Jaras turned his sad gaze back to the blade in his hands.

"Well, no one was able to find the body. I don't know what happened to it, and maybe I don't want to, but I know he was dead when I left." Tifa gave an insincere smile.

"I'm terribly sorry to hear that, Ms. Lockheart." Jaras had wanted to meet the hero for himself, but now saw that chance disappear.

"It's okay, Jaras." She turned forward in her seat. "He was unhappy with his life. I can only hope that he has found peace. Oh, and Jaras?"

"Yes Ms. Lockheart?" He replied.

"Just call me Tifa, okay?" She looked back at him quickly.

"You got it." Jaras again became absorbed in his book.

Cid started up the plane and got them headed back to Costa gel Sol. Finally they were back on track, and he was determined to have Tifa back by nightfall if it killed him.


	53. Shock

Guilt's Cost: Part LIII

Shock

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The sun had just dropped below the horizon when Cid brought the plane down in Costa del Sol. He thought momentarily about just kicking Tifa and Jaras out so that he could get home tonight, but he was tired enough after two straight days of travel that he decided to leave in the morning.

Tseng had gotten a page from the control tower above the base and made his way up to the airfield to await their landing. When the plane stopped in the same spot it had parked two days before Tseng walked over to it, eagerly awaiting the report Tifa would give.

The door to the plane opened and Tifa jumped out. Upon seeing Tseng she ran to him and threw her arms around his neck. "Oh Tseng! Is Vincent alright?"

He backed out of her embrace and looked into her eyes. "He's fine, how was your trip?"

"Fine, everything went well." Tifa said, wondering how Tseng would take the news of their discovery.

A shout from Cid drew their attention back toward the plane. Apparently there had been another mishap between he and Jaras and Cid was sprawled out on the ground with Jaras standing over him.

"You are the clumsiest stupid son of a bitch I have ever met!" Cid yelled as he picked himself up from the ground, again ignoring Jaras's hand extended in help. "Fucking watch out with that mother fucking sword! You trip me one more time and I swear I'll beat the living shit out of you!"

Tseng's eyes went wide at the spectacle. Seeing Cid so ferociously yelling at Sephiroth was certain to be the beginning to a fight. "Tifa…?"

She turned back to see that all the color had drained from his face. "Tseng, are you okay?"

He reached into a pocket and pulled out his pills. Tseng quickly took one, fearing that another attack was imminent. "You brought him here?"

Tifa could sense Tseng's weakening condition and let him put his arm around her shoulders to help support him. "It's okay, Tseng. It is Sephiroth; at least, he was before falling into the life stream. He has no memory of anything that took place before Brandon found him in Mideel."

Tseng drew his breaths in short gasps. "I… I can't believe it… Dr. Arlin was right…"

Tifa grew more concerned. She yelled to grab Cid's attention. "Stop arguing and get over here! I think Tseng's having a heart attack!"

Cid cut his verbal barrage short and spun running to help Tifa. Jaras soon followed him.

Tifa couldn't hold Tseng up anymore and fell to the ground with him. Panic was setting in. He was the last person Tifa thought she could stand losing at this point. "Tseng? Come on! Tseng?"

His eyes fluttered as his blood pressure dropped causing him to black out. Tseng's body went limp in Tifa's arms.

Cid finally reached them and saw Tseng's unconscious body before Tifa. "What the fuck is it with this family? Aren't any of them ever awake?"

"Cid, we've got to get him inside to the infirmary!" Tifa's eyes flashed with fear. "He's dying!"

Cid, never one to panic rolled his eyes as he stooped to pick up the unconscious man. They hurried to the control tower and then down into the base. Tifa led Cid directly to the infirmary and threw open the doors.

Dr. Arlin was tending to a patient with a dislocated shoulder in the other end of the room. Upon hearing Tifa burst in shouting, she came over to the bed Cid was laying Tseng upon. "What happened?"

Tifa moved her arms frantically as she tried to explain. "We got off the plane and when Tseng saw Jaras he just collapsed!"

Dr. Arlin glanced over to the doorway where the person Tifa had waved at was standing. She didn't have to look twice to realize who it was or what was happening to Tseng. "God Damn his heart!"

She hit the page button on the wall and three of her nurses ran into the room. They descended upon Tseng and started to work furiously. Cid took Tifa by the arm and led her away from the scene seeing that it was tearing her apart. For once he didn't mind as she buried her face into his jacket and started crying.

Jaras just stood frozen in the doorway. He had never witnessed anything like what he was seeing now._ Is the mere sight of me so upsetting it can kill someone? _ He thought helplessly from afar.

Tseng's heart was beating erratically, but not with enough efficiency to support his body. Nurses injected drugs into his veins, but nothing was working. Dr. Arlin pulled over the cart that had the defibrillator on it. Tseng's coat and shirt had already been cut away and she placed the electrodes against his chest. 

A sickening pop was heard as the machine let a charge rip through his body. Tseng's muscles spasmed and an involuntary gasp escaped him.

Hearing these things caused Tifa to try to turn and look, but Cid held her firmly to him knowing that this spectacle was not something she needed to see. He continued to restrain her from seeing as the doctor shocked Tseng a second and then a third time.

After the last shock everyone quit moving and stared up at the EKG monitor that was reading Tseng's heart's electrical output. The lighted display was erratic for a moment, then flat. Everyone held their breath and then finally, the graph displayed the sharp peaks and valleys of a normal heartbeat. The activity then started to bustle around Tseng again as the doctor and her staff did what they could to maintain his heart's precious rhythm.

Tifa felt Cid's hold on her let up a bit and she managed to look back over at Tseng. "What's happening?"

Cid still kept his arms around her, wanting to shield her from any pain Tseng's condition might cause her. "He's doing better now. Let's just let the doctor work."

Jaras pulled his attention from the hospital staff and made his way to where Tifa and Cid were. The look on his face was one of despair.

Tifa saw him and was struck by his expression. "Jaras, are you okay?"

He looked back over toward Tseng's bed. "I almost killed him just by being here, didn't I?"

"No, Tseng has had a heart condition for a long time." Tifa moved from Cid over to him. "This isn't your fault."

Jaras dropped his gaze down into Tifa's tearing eyes. Her words were kind but he doubted their validity. Jaras gave a faltering smile back to her but was not able to produce any words.

The three of them remained motionless watching for a long time. Finally Dr. Arlin came over to them.

She inspected Jaras for a moment. "So, Brandon was right about you?"

Jaras nodded. "If you mean that I am Sephiroth, yes."

"Uh huh." She pulled off her glasses. "And he said you now go by Jaras, correct?"

"Yes." He smiled faintly.

She extended her hand. "I am Dr. Janice Arlin. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

Jaras reciprocated the handshake. "I'm glad to see that someone is going to have a favorable reaction to meeting me."

The doctor immediately picked up on his meaning. "Although seeing you was probably a shock for Tseng, you didn't do this."

"See, that's what I said." Tifa puffed. "But doctor, what about Tseng?"

She shrugged. "His heart is worse. I think it might be time to take him to surgery. I'm going to have to run some tests once he's a little more stable, but he may need a bypass. In fact, I can almost guarantee it."

"Oh." Tifa hung her head. She was genuinely afraid for his life. "Poor Tseng."

"I'll do everything I can for him, Tifa." Dr. Arlin smiled. "I know you've gotten very close to him, but I don't want you to worry. You've already got enough on your mind with Mr. Valentine. Just leave him to me, okay?"

Tifa knew that Dr. Arlin was asking her as politely as possible to leave the infirmary. "Thank you Dr. Arlin. Can I check back in later?"

She nodded. "Yes, and if anything changes, I'll let you know."

Cid took Tifa's hand and led her out of the infirmary. Jaras followed a few paces behind. They eventually walked to the detention cells.

Cid stopped by the entrance as Tifa went forward. He put his arm out to prevent Jaras from following her.

Jaras looked at Cid with some confusion.

"Her boyfriend Vincent is in that stasis box over there. I think she needs some private time now." Cid said, unusually quiet.

Jaras did nothing in response. He knew the man in the stasis box was his father according to Tifa and as anxious as he was to get a glimpse of him, he respected her privacy and remained with Cid.

Tifa went forward slowly, reaching the casket's side and kneeling. She gazed down into the window seeing Vincent as she had left him. Tifa smiled to herself as she saw her lipstick mark on the glass and she reached out and wiped it away. "We're back. Cid didn't let anything bad happen just as promised. Sephiroth is alive. That's what we were sent to find out. He has been living in Mideel all this time! After Meteor, the life stream welled up within the North Carter and pulled him down. The it erased his memory and he has become a new man. I think you'll like him now. Oh, and all the Jenova within him was purged by the Mako. I hope you can come out and meet him soon. I brought him back here, would you like to see him?"

Jaras felt Tifa's eyes upon him and he looked up to see her waving him over. He glanced at Cid before moving.

"Go on." Cid sighed.

Jaras went to where Tifa was. He bent over the box and looked inside. Jaras examined Vincent's face finding familiarity in his features. He had the same sharp nose and narrow lips as Jaras. Tifa had been right; this must be his father. "He… he looks like me…"

Tifa looked up at Jaras and smiled. Before this she hadn't given much thought to it, but his words struck her as true. She reached out a hand and touched the side of Jaras's face. "Yeah, in a lot of ways he does."

The feel of her hand upon his cheek stirred something deep within Jaras. He grew slightly uncomfortable and took a step back. "I think… I think I'll go back over by Cid, okay?"

Tifa cocked an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

"I just thought maybe you'd like some more private time." Jaras said with an awkward smile. There was no way he was going to let her know that her touch had almost aroused him. If his father was her boyfriend then there was no way he should allow himself to feel that way about her.

"Oh, all right. Tell Cid I'll be done in a sec, okay?" She turned back to face the casket.

Jaras just gave a quick nod and headed back to the pilot's side.

Tifa looked back at Vincent and smiled. "See? He's very sweet. It's funny how just losing all of his terrible memories could make such a big difference in who he is, huh?"

Maybe it was just her imagination, but Tifa could have sworn she saw just the slightest hint of a sarcastic smile on Vincent's lips. She stood up and prepared to leave. "Okay, well, I'll see you later. I love you."


	54. Turks

Guilt's Cost: Part LIV

Turks

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Author's note:

Well, damn it, my two-week vacation from work is over. Some of you may have noticed the occasionally large number of chapters I was throwing up daily there for a while, that was a result of not having to go to my REAL job everyday for nine hours. Now the flow of writing will probably be knocked down to one chapter a day. This is not a sign that I am losing interest in the story, it's just a sign that I have to raise a child, work, feed Porter (the dog), and then sleep sometime…

So, without further delay, I give you chapter fifty-four.

Porter had managed to sneak out of the Shin Ra building for lunch without Hojo grabbing him at the last moment. He had wanted to bring Rayna with him, but it was getting close to payroll and she was bogged down in paperwork. 

Despite this, he didn't want to eat alone so he made his way down the block to the local "Greasy Spoon" where he knew Rude and some of his other friends would be. The weather had turned sour and he walked to the restaurant with a long black over coat on. D trotted along at his side, apparently unfazed by the pelting rain.

Upon entering the diner he spotted his comrades huddled in a booth toward the back. Porter started toward them as a waitress in an ill fitting teal uniform grabbed his arm. 

She pointed at the dog standing next to him. "Mister, this is an eating establishment, and there are rules against people bringing in their dogs."

Porter narrowed his eyes at her in annoyance. He shrugged off his overcoat and draped it over his arm. "I'm afraid you don't understand."

Her eyes went wide as she realized that he was a Turk. The silver gun that hung in the holster beneath his suit coat caught her attention. "Oh, I… I'm terribly sorry. I didn't recognize you…"

Porter felt bad internally for having to frighten her with his status, but he had to admit that there just were some benefits to being a Turk, and taking your dog where ever you damned well pleased was just added to that list. "No harm done. I will be over there with my associates. Would you be so good as to bring me some coffee?"

She began to back up before his sentence was even complete. "Yes, Sir, right away!"

Rude made room for Porter to slip into the booth beside him. On the other side of the table sat two of the President's other personal Turks. The one closest to the wall was a thin and attractive black man named Rasta. His hair was woven tightly against his head in narrow cornrows, which trailed off into waist length braids. Rasta always paid close attention to his appearance and despite the fact that he had already been at work for twelve hours today his suit and shirt still looked clean and freshly pressed.

The other was a clean shaven blond topped by a military style haircut. Just on the slight side of overweight, he was not exactly the best physical specimen in the Turks but despite his size he had the reflexes of a cat and uncanny skills with his firearm. No one that Kimo had ever aimed his gun at in combat had lived to tell about it. Although he was the Turk with the most kills to his name, the friendly smile he bore gave away the fact that he was still someone that enjoyed life and the company of his comrades.

Rude elbowed Porter in the side. "Are you feeling so damned stifled in your assignment that you have to intimidate waitresses to get your fix?"

"Well," Porter sighed. "If they would let me take out a certain scientist and ventilate his head I would be a lot more social."

A snicker went through the group. Rasta, usually a man of few words smiled. "Man, I would not be joking about that guy if I were you. That is one messed up mother fucker."

Kimo nodded in agreement. "I think you should get the employee of the year award for your gig."

The waitress interrupted to set Porter's coffee on the table. "Are you ready to order?"

Porter inspected the tabletop to see what his friends had already gotten. Rude's burger looked at least edible. "Yeah, burger, rare, no onions."

She scribbled down his demand with careful attention paid to the 'no onions' part. The last thing she wanted was to be shot because the illiterate fry cook put the objectionable vegetable on his order. "Yes Sir. It will be just a moment."

Rude caught notice that Porter did not pay any attention to the waitress as she walked away despite her shapely figure. "You feeling okay?"

Porter looked up from his coffee cup. "What's that?"

"You're not up to your usual 'waitress in a mini skirt walking away' staring game." Rude picked up a burnt fry from his plate and pointed it at him accusingly. "You're still seeing that accountant aren't you?"

"What of it?" Porter tried to muster his stoic Turk façade, but it failed him.

Kimo leaned forward. "Damn, you been with her for how long?"

"A few weeks." Porter replied, pretending not to care.

"And?" Kimo pried, his grin growing.

"What?" Porter looked back down at his coffee, swirling it slightly.

"You done her yet or what?" Kimo kicked him lightly under the table.

Porter grew annoyed with this line of questioning. "What business is it of yours?"

"Just wondering." Kimo leaned back. "Either you haven't gotten her in bed yet, or you have and you've decided to still keep seeing her. I just want to know if our little Porter is in love?"

Porter rolled his eyes. Kimo was irritating him, and making it worse by his mocking tone. "Again, it is none of your business."

Kimo laughed. "You do love her! Hot shit, who would have guessed?"

"No one ever told you that Turks are supposed to be cold loners?" Rude interjected with sarcasm.

Porter's retort to their shots at his love life were cut short when the pager in his pocket went off. Only one person ever rang him, and he didn't need to pull the device out to know who wanted him. He rose from his seat and made his way to the pay phone next to the kitchen.

Porter dialed the phone and let it ring.

"Yes?" Hojo's irritated voice answered.

"It's me, Sir." He said, cringing despite the fact Hojo was no where near him.

"Where are you?" Hojo hissed.

"At lunch, Sir."

Hojo sighed with annoyance. "Well, do you think you might like to actually work at some point today?"

Porter did not reply, just shrinking from Hojo's anger.

"When you're done, I want you to do me a favor." Hojo's voice lost its vicious edge.

"What's that, Sir?" Porter asked.

"Quigley has been acting a little reserved today. I think he may have shared our little secret with his ASRIO friends. I want you to stake out his apartment for the rest of the afternoon. I have a feeling that something is up and I'm curious to see if he has any visitors." Hojo was quiet for a moment. "Stop by your office before heading out. I have some pictures I want you to take with you, so you might identify anyone of interest."

"Yes Sir." Porter hung up and walked back to the table. He no longer felt like eating although his lunch had been left at his seat. Porter picked up the plate and set it on the floor, smiling to himself as his dog engulfed the burger.

"What was that? Frankenstein calling?" Rude asked.

"Gee, how did you guess?" Porter said sinking into the booth.

"He must miss his whipping boy." Rasta smiled from the corner.

"Screw you guys." Porter got up and tossed a few gil onto the table to cover the cost of his dog's lunch. He threw his coat back around his shoulders and strolled out of the diner. D followed him loyally back to the Shin Ra building and up to his office.

As Hojo had said there was a file of security photos on his desk. Each picture was labeled with the subject's name in Hojo's own jagged handwriting.

Porter laid all of the pictures out before him and inspected them. He recognized Tseng and Reno, as he had seen them on security tapes plenty of times, as well as Morris and Ericson, two of Tseng's favorite agents. The last picture in the pile caught his attention and he picked it up. It was a still from the video taken of the last ASRIO raid. Porter recognized this man from Hojo's viewing of the tape. The bottom of this picture had Vincent Valentine written across it.

_So you're my predecessor, _he thought as he remembered what Rude had said about the former Turk turned scientific specimen. _I wonder if he will ever do something to me. I've heard the stories about you, Mr. Valentine, and although you're playing for the other team, I can't help but feel sorry for you. Hojo is a sick bastard, but I guess I don't have to tell you that, do I? We might have more than our occupations in common, I think. You'd probably like to kill that mad scientist just as much, oh Hell, probably more than I do. But I can't let you do that. Not because it's my job to protect him, but because I want him to be the first person I kill. I'm sure that sooner or later he is bound to piss off the wrong person in this company, and when that time comes, I'll be the one given the order. I long for that day. And maybe then my higher ups will see what I'm worth. There will be no more pointless baby sitting jobs for me then, oh no. I will be one of the President's men._

Porter's silent communion with Vincent's image continued for a while. Finally he tucked that particular picture into his coat pocket and left the building.


	55. Waiting

Guilt's Cost: Part LV

Watching

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Reno pulled up to Quigley's apartment complex in Midgar in the car he'd rented in Kalm. It was getting to be late in the evening and he was irritated with having to be away from Angel. He slid from the driver's seat and stood looking up at the building before him. Reno checked the address one last time before going forward.

Eventually he found apartment number 203 and leaned against it's door. He was disappointed that Quigley wasn't already here but resolved that he would just have to wait until he showed up. The door to this apartment faced the street, and his second story vantage-point allowed Reno a good view of the neighborhood. His former Turk training forced him to examine the scene for any potential danger. Due to the continued rain there was not much activity outside. One man hovered under an awning across the street in front of a small newsstand. The figure was engrossed in some magazine and he had a dog sitting quietly at his side. Reno found himself staring at this man as he was the only thing of interest out. The stranger never seemed to notice Reno's gaze, apparently unaware that he was being watched. Reno never suspected that _he_ was the object of scrutiny.

A slow shuffling brought Reno out of his daydream. He turned to see Quigley walking toward him. The researcher stared down at the ground as he walked, obviously miserable from the drenching he had received on his way home from the Shin Ra building half a mile away. Quigley pulled a set of keys from his pocket and finally turned his gaze up spotting Reno before him.

Quigley was started to see the former Turk at his door and he jumped slightly. "Oh, Jesus Reno!"

"How goes it, Quiggers?" Reno moved from the door.

Quigley made his way past him and unlocked the door. Once it was open he motioned for Reno to enter. "Come in."

Reno obeyed and went in. He looked around the apartment amused to see that there was no furniture save a small table and chair in the corner. "God Damned, you really know how to live it up."

Quigley looked back over his shoulder at him. "I figured one day I might have to dart out of here without any of my belongings so I never bothered to accumulate more than I needed to get by. I suppose that's why you're here, to get me right?"

Reno nodded. "Bingo. Tseng thinks you might be in some sort of danger after spilling that little gem to us about a certain ex-SOLDIER."

Quigley looked thoughtful for a moment. "I figured as much. I don't mind though. I was getting a little sick of what I was doing there anyway. Stupid Hojo assigned me to some retarded upgrade project for some converters. I've been board to tears for weeks."

"Aren't you heartbroken about leaving Hojo's employment?" Reno crossed his arms, looking quite serious.

Quigley just rolled his eyes. He disappeared into the other room of the apartment and emerged a few minutes later with a suitcase in hand. "Okay, let's go."

Reno was impressed at how quickly Quigley was prepared to leave his home of two years. "Are you really that desperate to get out of here?"

"Yes, now can we please go?" The thought of not having to face Hojo again was more than enough to chase Quigley out of town. 

Reno led him back down to the car. Quigley whistled to himself as he inspected his ride.

At the car rental station in Kalm, Reno had opted to take their most exotic auto. The fact that in order to get this particular car he had to pay seven times as much as any of their other selections didn't matter to him since Tseng was picking up the tab. The foreign red sports car sat low to the ground, and the sharp angles of its body were enhanced by some selective black pin stripes. Reno couldn't resist using this car as it absolutely had screamed 'secret agent' to him.

As the two men got into the car and drove away, Porter set the magazine he had been pretending to read back down on the rack. He looked down at D and smiled. "Looks like old Hojo was right and Quigley just skipped town with Reno."

The dog just looked up at his master and wagged the few short inches of tail that it had.

Porter checked his watch and saw that it was almost six thirty. He had checked in with Rayna before leaving the building earlier to let her know that he was going to be on assignment tonight and wouldn't be around to take her out after work. She had accepted this news with a sad smile, letting him know that it was all right since it looked like she was going to have to stay late in order to catch up on some things anyway.

****

Hojo sat in his personal surveillance room staring at various monitors. Most of the building's occupants had left for the day as it was well after six. He flicked on the camera in the accounting department and leaned forward. What he saw there brought a smile to his lips. Rayna sat at her desk typing away on her ten-key. All the other work stations in the room were empty.

Eager to take care of some business that he needed Rayna for, he picked up an expense report, a vial, and a small package and walked toward the elevators.

Rayna rubbed her tired eyes and slouched in her chair. She wanted badly to go home but was still knee deep in work and knew it would be a late night. When the elevator doors opened she looked over to see who was there, expecting it to be the janitor. She was a little unnerved when she saw it was Hojo. 

He strolled from the elevator and over to a desk where he set down the report in his hand. When he looked over and saw Rayna he seemed genuinely surprised. "Oh, hello there. Late night?"

She forced a smile, recalling all the terrible things that Porter had said about him. "Hi Professor. To bad this company doesn't pay overtime, huh?"

Hojo smiled in response and started to turn away but stopped. "Pardon me if I'm mistaken, but are you the woman that Porter has been seeing?"

A wide grin flashed across her face and she blushed slightly. "Yes Sir, I am."

Hojo looked pleased to hear this. "The boy seems to really like you. I've heard nothing but good things." Hojo hid the truth well. Porter had never said anything to him about Rayna as he and the scientist rarely talked. Most communication they did have was Porter sitting listening to Hojo's violent verbal assaults.

The redness in Rayna's cheeks deepened. The thought that Porter would talk about her at all was flattering. She had become terribly attached to the Turk. "You embarrass me, Professor."

Hojo waved a hand before him. "Sorry, that was not my intention. But you seem to be making him quite happy. I would be lying if I didn't say he was a changed man."

She smiled again. "Thanks."

Hojo looked over to the right spotting a coffee maker. The pot was full and he wandered over to it. He took a Styrofoam cup from the counter and filled it. Hojo added some sugar and creamer and while hidden from Rayna's view he poured in the contents of a tiny glass vial. He then turned and made his way to Rayna's desk. Hojo held the cup out to her. "Here, I wouldn't want you to fall asleep before you were done."

Although she normally would have refused anything from this man, she knew she needed to get something into her system to help her ward off the drowsiness setting in. "Well thank you very much."

Hojo smiled as he watched her take a sip. "You are welcome. I need to get back to the lab now, so I will bid you goodnight."

Rayna waved as he retreated. "Goodnight Professor."

As the elevator closed Rayna felt odd. Her world was starting to spin and she clung to the edge of her desk to steady herself. After a few more moments of dizziness, Rayna passed out and fell from her chair.

Hojo hadn't left the floor and hit the door open button on the elevator. He immediately spotted Rayna lying unconscious on the floor beside her desk. As he walked toward her he pulled the package he'd brought with him from the lab out of his pocket. When he reached her side he knelt down and licked his lips. He had plans for Porter's girlfriend and he needed to be quick.

****

Porter finally arrived at his home at eight fifteen. He picked up the phone and dialed Rayna's number. 

On the fourth ring she finally answered. "Hello?"

Porter was taken by the tiredness in her voice. "Rayna? Are you okay? You sound awful."

There was a silence from the other line for a moment. "Yeah, I think I'm coming down with something. I was trying to get some stuff done at work and I passed out at my desk and fell out of my chair. When I came to I felt horrible and decided to come home."

"God Rayna!" Porter felt sick himself knowing that Rayna felt that bad. "You didn't hurt yourself when you passed out did you?"

Again, another silence. "I must have hit the file cabinet behind my desk or something, I've got a little cut on my side. Other than that, I'm not hurt. Mostly I'm just tired, but I feel a little better now that I'm home."

More concern for Rayna came out. "Do you want me to come over? Is there something I can bring you?"

"I'd really like that." She sighed into the phone. Rayna hated being alone when she felt bad. "Just let yourself in when you get here. I think I'm gonna go soak in the tub for a while."

"All right, I'll be there in a little while." Porter hung up the phone and looked back down at his dog. Rayna always welcomed D to come along. "Looks like we got to go take care of Rayna tonight."

He drove a little faster than he should for the road conditions, but Porter wanted to get to his girlfriend's house as quick as possible. When he got there he ran up to her front door and entered. The house was quiet and he knocked on the bathroom door. 

"That you?" She called from inside.

"Yeah." Porter rested his head against the door, relieved that she was okay.

"I'll be out in a sec, I just need to dry off."

"Okay." Porter backed away from the door and went back into the living room. He landed on the couch and flicked on the television.

After a short while she emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a blue satin robe. The thinness of the fabric did little to conceal the contours of her body beneath. Porter caught his breath upon seeing her. He and Rayna had not yet been intimate and the sight of her with her hair down and in such a flimsy garment got to him.

Rayna saw the look on his face and smiled. "God, don't tell me you're getting turned on by this. I look like Hell."

Porter thought that was the furthest thing from the truth. "You look fine, and you sound better than you did over the phone."

She came over and sat next to him, nuzzling into his side after patting D on the head. "I feel a lot better now. The only thing that's bugging me now is where I cut myself when I fell."

Porter kissed the top of her head and put his arm around her. He suppressed the urge to try and get her into bed, knowing that she would let him know when she was ready for that. Certainly she wouldn't feel up to it tonight after the day she'd had. "I'm glad to hear you're getting better."


	56. Sibling

Guilt's Cost: Part LVI

Sibling

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa, Cid, and Jaras sat in the cafeteria of the ASRIO base trying to eat diner. None of them were very hungry after watching the spectacle with Tseng earlier. Cid and Tifa sat on one side of the table facing Jaras.

Tifa was having a hard time maintaining her composure, intensely worried about Tseng. She kept having to pick up her napkin and quickly wipe away her occasional stray tears. Jaras tried not to stare at her, but was finding it hard from both the sympathy he felt for the poor woman as well as the fact that she was probably the most attractive female he'd ever seen. When she would catch him staring they would both break into a slight grin. Tifa supposed he was just full of questions that he wanted to ask her but held back from doing so in front of Cid.

The pilot on the other hand sat smoking a cigarette over his meal. Ashes were falling on the slab of meatloaf before him but he didn't care. There was only one person on this God forsaken Earth that could make meatloaf seem like a good idea as far as he was concerned, and she was currently several hundred miles away in Rocket. He noticed Tifa's sadness, but tried not to bring any attention to it thinking that it would just make her feel worse. Occasionally he would rub her back with his hand just to let her know that he was thinking about her.

Eventually Tifa grew tired of picking at her food and pushed her plate back. She stretched in her seat, absent-mindedly allowing her legs under the table to come to rest against Jaras's. He grew uncomfortable with this contact with her as it made him even more self conscious but he didn't move away as he enjoyed it at the same time.

Angel had gotten word that they were back and entered the cafeteria. She came to their table. "Welcome home."

Tifa rose up and gave her a hug. "I'm so glad to see you!"

Angel smiled weakly. The status of her uncle had her deeply disturbed and it showed. "I just saw Tseng."

Tifa sat back in her seat. "How is he doing?"

Jaras moved over so Angel could sit next to him.

After taking her place, Angel leaned forward on her elbows. "He's all right for the moment. They've got him sedated so he isn't really with it. His heart rate is normal for the time being, but Dr. Arlin is certain he's going to have to have surgery tomorrow."

Tifa was saddened to hear this. "That's terrible."

"There's a good chance he'll make it through surgery fine." Angel said, trying to reassure herself more than anyone. She turned to look at Jaras, at once recognizing him for who he was. She had heard that they had brought him back with them. Angel examined her brother closely, seeing the familial resemblance he bore. "I'm sorry, my name is Angel."

Jaras smiled and nodded. There was something very familiar in her, but he couldn't place it. "I am Jaras, pleased to meet you."

Tifa couldn't stand it. Even if Cid was here and he didn't know about Vincent being Sephiroth's father, he would have to find out. She had to tell Jaras before it killed her. "Jaras, remember that I told you that you had a sister and an uncle?"

He nodded, turning his eyes back to Tifa. "Yes, I do."

Tifa's lips broke into a smile. "This is her, Jaras."

"Really?" Jaras quickly turned back to face her, his shock obvious. "I… I don't know what to say…"

Angel grinned and put her arms around him. The fact that he no longer was Sephiroth was all too evident. "I can't believe this. I never thought in a million years that you would be alive."

He gave into her embrace and put his arms around her in return. Something felt so right within him for the first time in as long as he could remember. He finally had a family. "I couldn't remember anything, and even if I had, I wouldn't have known about you, would I?"

Angel found herself enshrouded in his silver mane. "No, no one knew about me except for ASRIO and Hojo."

Cid finally caught the meaning of all that he had witnessed and stood up from the table. "What the fuck is going on?"

Tifa got up and went to him. "Cid, I had to let Jaras know that she was his sister."

"Either that means that Lucretia was her mother too or fucking Vincent is Sephy's father." Cid tossed his cigarette across the room, not caring where it landed.

"Vincent _is _Jaras's father." Tifa said quietly.

"How the fuck is that?!" Cid pointed at the two still at the table. "That ass wipe Hojo was his dad!"

Tifa crossed her arms. Getting through to Cid was not going to be any small task. "You know God damned well that Vincent and Lucretia were having an affair at the time of the beginning to the Jenova Project."

"So, Vincent actually _did_ something with her? Holy shit, all this time I thought he was mourning over some chaste love that he had never expressed." Cid looked at Angel and Jaras, unable to deny their resemblance. "Fuckin' learn something new everyday. How come Sunshine never bothered to let us in on this little secret? Or was I the only one who didn't know?"

Tifa shook her head, allowing her arms to fall back to her sides. "I didn't know until just a few days ago. He never told anyone because he didn't want anyone to hold it against him. Tseng is the only one other than Angel and Vincent that knew."

Cid hung his head in defeat. "So Sue is a prolific little bastard, huh? Just like him to keep secrets, too."

"I'm sorry you had to find out like this. I would have liked to have been able to tell you alone, but I never got the chance." Tifa stepped a little closer.

"Oh Hell, what the fuck." Cid gave her a quick hug. "Not like it affects my life anyway. Just makes me feel that much sorrier for Sephy, that's all. Poor bastard has to have Vince as a dad."

Tifa smiled. "One of these days Vincent is going to get sick of your comments and he's gonna kick your butt."

"I'd like to see him try." Cid crossed his arms briefly.

Tifa and Cid finally got back to the table and sat.

Jaras and Angel had watched his outburst wide-eye and in silence. Now that things were settling, they relaxed.

Angel looked at Cid. "Mr. Highwind, I thank you for seeing to Tifa's safety during the trip to Mideel."

Cid scoffed. "Yeah, like that's such a dangerous place and all."

Angel smiled. "Considering what awaited you there, it's very possible that it could have been. But I'm glad to see that everything worked out for the best." 

Jaras shifted uncomfortably where he sat. The specter of his former identity made him feel terrible. "I don't want to compromise anyone's safety by being around."

Angel looked at him. "As long as you remain here everyone will be safe. If Shin Ra didn't manage to find you before now then you might just be in the clear."

Tifa hated to change the subject, but there was a question on her mind. "Where's Reno?"

Angel's face flushed. She couldn't bring herself to tell the truth about why Reno wasn't there. There was no way that she was going to be the one to tell her that Cloud wasn't dead. "He was sent to Midgar to pick up another agent and bring him here."

"Oh." Tifa simply accepted the answer.

Cid yawned. "Hell, I'm getting tired. Where's my room? Same one I had last time?"

Angel nodded. "That one is available if you like. Do you need me to show you the way?"

"Naw, I think I can manage." Cid rose from the table. He gave Tifa's shoulder a squeeze and leaned down to whisper in her ear, not wishing anyone else to hear. "If you need to, you know, talk or anything tonight, feel free to stop by, okay?"

Tifa was touched by such an offer from him and she kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Cid."

Tifa waited for Cid to leave and then she turned back to Jaras. "So now that you know who your sister is, I guess it's time we confessed about your uncle."

Jaras brightened. "Who is he?"

Angel hung her head. "Tseng is Vincent's brother."

His eyes widened and then grew sad. "You mean I gave my uncle a heart attack?"

Tifa frowned. "How many times do I have to tell you? You didn't give him a heart attack. He's been sick for a while."

He looked down and nodded slightly. "I'm sorry… but he'll get through this and then we can talk, right?"

Angel smiled. "Tseng is tough, if it's up to him he'll make it."

There was a long silence as everyone thought.

Angel looked back at Tifa. "Should we show Jaras here where he'll be staying?"

"Sure." Tifa rose from her seat.

Angel led them to a room directly across the hall from Tifa's own. She opened the door so that all three of them could enter. Jaras's pack had already been brought here by someone and was sitting on the bed. 

He looked around the room, finally nodding in approval. "This is very nice, thanks."

Angel smiled. "We do our best to keep those that stay here comfortable. But if there is anything that you need, just let someone know and we can get it for you."

Jaras looked thoughtful for a moment. "Is there any chance that I can get the paper in the morning?"

"No problem." Angel answered. She wanted to get back to the infirmary to talk to Dr. Arlin as she was going to assist in the surgery tomorrow. "I have to go now to talk with the doctor. Tifa, do you want to go with me so you can see Tseng before you turn in?"

Tifa sighed. "Yes, I'd like that. How about you, Jaras?"

He shook his head. The thought of having to see his sick uncle would just make him feel worse again. "No thanks, you go on without me."

Angel and Tifa left Jaras to get settled and made their way to the infirmary. Tseng was lying in a bed hooked up to various monitors and I.V. fluids. Tifa stood beside his bed and gazed down upon him, heartsick at his deathly appearance. Angel stood next to her for a few moments before giving her a quick hug and going back into the doctor's office and closing the door.

Tifa remained at Tseng's side for some time, hypnotized by the sounds of the monitors and his painstakingly slow breaths. She reached out and stroked his hair, wishing for any sign from him, but he didn't stir. His normally rich skin tone was gone and in its place was an awful grayish hue. Tseng's eyes seemed somewhat recessed and he slept with his lips slightly parted. His current appearance mimicked Vincent's in the stasis box too closely and Tifa felt the warmth of tears on her cheeks again. She was in pain not only over Tseng's condition but Vincent's as well. Now even the small amount of comfort that she had taken from Tseng being like Vincent was gone, and replaced with misery over their similarity. 

Tifa wasn't able to bear looking at him anymore. She bent down and kissed his lips lightly before walking out of the infirmary. There was one last thing she had to do before going back to her room and she made her way to Vincent's stasis box.

She almost passed out when she saw Cid hovering there, smoking over the casket. "Cid? What are you doing here?"

He immediately looked embarrassed to have been caught here and he scratched the back of his head. "I just got lost on the way to my room, that's all."

She knew he was lying; it was too obvious. "I somehow doubt it."

Cid uncharacteristically didn't defend himself and shrugged. "Aw Hell, you caught me."

"It's all right." Tifa knelt down and laid her hands on the surface of the box. "I've spent too much time here next to this thing to judge anyone else about being here."

"I just can't believe he's Sephy's dad." Cid took a long drag.

"I was surprised too at first, but then it all started to make more sense, especially about how Vincent acted back then." Tifa sighed. "It's got to be rough finding out that your child is public enemy number one."

"Yeah, poor bastard." Cid dropped his cigarette to the floor and crushed it beneath his boot. "Well, I think I'll head back to my room."

"Okay." Tifa smiled at him. Cid had shown her more emotion and caring today than ever, and she was grateful. "Thanks."

He smiled uncomfortably and walked out. As he made his way back to his room he couldn't help but think about what Tifa must be going through inside. If Shera wasn't in such an awkward situation he would like to have stayed longer to try and get Tifa through this, but it wasn't to be.

Tifa stared down into the glass at Vincent. "Your brother's not doing so well again. He's in the infirmary and is going to have heart surgery tomorrow. He can't die, right? I mean, you made him promise to take care of me before you went in there I bet, and he wouldn't go back on that would he?"

Vincent remained motionless as Tifa pretended to hear his response.

"I hope you're right. I can't stand to lose him too." Tifa leaned in closer. "Poor Angel must really be torn up about it. She tries to be so strong, but the stress is clear on her face. That girl has been through so much in her short life… I can't imagine. That's probably why she is so strong though, huh?"

Another short pause.

"Can you believe Cid was here checking on you?" She laughed. "He found out that Jaras is your son. I'm sorry that I told him, I guess you probably would have preferred I not, but I had no choice. Jaras and Angel seem to like each other. Well, I think I should go now before someone hears me talking and thinks I've lost it."


	57. Checking In

Guilt's Cost: Part LVII

Check In

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa headed back to her room. She paused before going in, feeling like she should check on Jaras just one last time. Tifa turned to his door and knocked.

Jaras answered, obviously shocked by who was there. "Tifa?"

She smiled. "I was just seeing how you were before heading off to bed."

"Oh, please come in." He held the door open wider so she could pass.

Tifa went forward and made her way over to the couch. After sitting, she patted the cushion next to her indicating that Jaras should sit too.

Jaras swallowed hard upon her invitation and went to her side. He immediately grew anxious. At once he began to fidget with the arm of the couch.

Tifa examined him briefly. He was shirtless, and his once finely cut physique had softened somewhat as he no longer lived a life of rigorous training. Even though, he was impressive and she felt a slight blush cross her cheeks. "So, how are you feeling?"

He forced himself to relax and he sat back, folding his hands in his lap. "All right, I guess. I want you to know that I do feel terrible about Tseng."

She scooted a little closer to him, not wanting him to beat himself up over this. "It's okay, Jaras. We're all worried about him."

With Tifa's increased proximity, he grew more nervous. As far as he was aware, he had never been alone with a woman before, and the fact that he was already attracted to her was making it worse. "Yeah, I suppose…"

She could sense that he was preoccupied with something and tilted her head slightly to look into his eyes. "What's wrong?"

He turned his cat like green eyes to her. If they had glowed before from his Mako exposure as a SOLDIER, they now down right _burned_ with light from his drenching in the life stream. There was such sadness within them, and a longing.

Tifa caught her breath as she was mesmerized by his gaze. She had always thought his eyes were beautiful but had never seen them this close or with this intensity before. The emotions that flowed into her as she looked at him made a knot form in her gut. Jaras was looking at her in a way that only Vincent ever had and it stung her heart. It would be all too easy to try and imaging that Jaras wasn't Jaras, and her mind spun.

Jaras saw the slight tremble in her lips as they locked gazes. It was more than he could possibly bear and he leaned forward slightly. His mouth met hers with such desperation that it almost burned. He placed a hand behind her head holding her closer, his heart racing within.

Tifa closed her eyes and submitted, parting her lips to his kiss, feeling his tongue linger near hers. Her pain and misery over Tseng and Vincent faltered for just a moment.

Suddenly, Jaras pushed himself away and got up from the couch. He covered his face with his hands and shook where he stood. "Oh God, what am I doing?"

Tifa was shocked by his sudden retreat, and her betrayal of Vincent reared within her heart. Tears came to her eyes. "I'm sorry!"

"No, it's not your fault." Jaras let his hands fall back to his sides but still did not turn to her. "I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that… You belong to my father, not me."

The truth of his words ripped through her and she broke down. Vincent would never forgive her for this, no matter how unexpected it had been. "I… I should go."

Jaras was unable to react as she flew from the room and slammed the door behind her. After she was gone, he threw himself onto the bed and cried in embarrassment and shame. How could he have done that after all the kindness she had shown him? Certainly she would never be able to look at him again, much less talk to him. He had ruined his first friendship outside of Mideel and he wouldn't forgive himself for a long time to come.

Tifa stood in the hall, her knees weak and hands shaking in her upset state. She needed Cid, now. After running to his door she didn't even bother to knock and just let herself in.

Cid was sitting on the edge of his bed smoking, watching the television. He had stripped down to his boxers and a tee shirt and looked up without any surprise at Tifa being there. "I was wondering how long it would take you to show up tonight."

She went over to him and knelt, putting her arms around him. The tears still stung her eyes and her breaths came in short gasps. "Oh Cid, I've done something awful…"

He rolled his eyes before putting his arms around her in return. Cid was getting tired of being the 'girlfriend' that Tifa always came crying to. It was emasculating, but he would subject himself to it for the sheer fact that he loved Tifa as dearly as one could love a friend. "Come on, what happened?"

"I… I went to check on Jaras and… and I kissed him." She sobbed.

"Oh come on, that's not so bad." Cid really didn't know what to say. But he had noticed the way Jaras had been looking at Tifa since they met and he wasn't surprised that he had made a move on her. "I kind of had a feeling he was into you."

"But that doesn't make it okay! Vincent will never forgive me." Tifa burrowed deeper into Cid's chest.

"God damn it." Cid pulled the cigarette from his lips and dropped it down into the ashtray at his side. "Vincent don't need to know, and it's not your fault. He took advantage of you, and I feel like an ass for not warning you."

She looked up at him. "Not warning me?"

"Aw fuck, Tifa." Cid furrowed his brow. "He's been undressing you with his eyes ever since we hooked up in Mideel. He's lousy at hiding his feelings if even _I_ can see what he's thinking."

"Oh…" She nuzzled back into Cid. "I didn't even notice all this time. I thought he just was upset over finding out who he was and all the other stuff that's happened."

"Well sure, that's gotten to him to, but I still could see that you were on his mind too." He let his cheek rest against the top of her head. "But it's all right, Tifa. You didn't mean for it to happen and it didn't go any further than that."

Tifa sighed. "Thanks Cid. But I will have to tell Vincent. There have to be no more secrets between he and I."

"Sue's a big boy, I think he'll be able to handle it just fine." Cid was sure that there was nothing that Tifa could do that would rip Vincent from her. After seeing all the bullshit Lucretia had put him through, it was obvious that Vincent was too damned stubborn to give up when it came to love. "You probably should talk to Sephy about this though. Make it clear to him that you aren't interested so he doesn't try it again. Poor bastard needs to find his own woman. You belong to Vincent… and me."

Tifa smiled at him widely. "Don't let Vincent hear you say that."

He shrugged. "Someone's got to take care of you while he's sleeping. Too bad I have to take off tomorrow."

Tifa's grin fell, she didn't want Cid to go. "Oh, yeah. Shera needs you, though."

"I just hope she didn't go and have the damned kid while I was gone. That would be just like her, I guess. Do it just to piss me off." Cid almost laughed. "Angel will just have to watch out for you. Keep you under lock and key, you temptress."

"Oh shut up!" Tifa said jokingly. 

"You're the one who seems to keep attracting the winners." He smiled down at her. "Now, I have to leave bright and fucking early tomorrow so can we get to sleep?"

Tifa nodded and wiped the last of the moisture from her face. "Okay."

They climbed beneath the sheets together and settled in. Cid slept the entire night spooned up against Tifa with his arm draped over her. She felt so safe and at ease within his strong grip that she soon drifted off to sleep.


	58. Dreams

Guilt's Cost: Part LVIII

Dreams

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent dreamt. His body may have been frozen into lifelessness by the stasis box but his mind went on. These were not the same dreams that he had suffered during his first thirty years of stasis. Those had centered around Lucretia and Hojo. Now he was mired in a thousand nightmares about Tifa and himself. They came with such frequency that the end of one merely merged into the beginning of the next.

The most frequent of his visions was one of Chaos raping Tifa. Vincent found himself separate from the demon and he watched helplessly as Tifa was torn to shreds as the demon ravaged her. No matter how he tried he could do nothing to help and as she called out his name begging for him to save her, he could only scream out for Chaos to stop.

Second most terrible was the nightmare about Tifa's baby. The dream would start with him and Tifa standing together. Suddenly, she would double over in pain, screaming in agony. Vincent would help her lay on the ground, trying to comfort her. Blood would start to run from her, forming a large crimson pool around them. As her cries became worse, Vincent would realize that she was in labor and that something was terribly wrong. She would writhe in death throws as the last of her life's blood was drained from her, and Vincent could to no more than hold her as the final traces of color were pulled from her cheeks. Once she was dead, everything would grow quiet except for the sounds of his own tears. That's when he would hear it. It starts off quietly at first, and then grows louder. The sound of a demon's screech would break the calm and Vincent would look to see something tearing its way out of Tifa's abdomen. A small black clawed hand would erupt from her stomach as the newborn demon fought its way out of its mother's dead womb. Vincent would let Tifa fall from his arms, horrified at the sight. The tiny Chaos demon would emerge; it's vicious yellow eyes shining as its tongue licked the blood from its face. He would try to look away but could not, coming to see the mane of black hair that hung from the back of the baby demon's head. 

There were others, to many to describe. Most of them involved Tifa suffering either at the hands of Chaos or Hojo. Occasionally, there would be a dream about Angel being in Hojo's lab, Tseng's death in the temple, or Cid and Shera being shot to death in their home by Turks. These dreams were just as vivid as all the others and Vincent longed to see that all those that were suffering in his mind were all right.

And so the dreams went, never ending. Vincent's sleeping face never betrayed the feelings within him, as the complete shut down of his body wouldn't allow any expression. Sometimes through the screams and cries of his nightmares, he thought he could hear Tifa speaking to him. Her voice was distant, and her words had nothing to do with the dreams he was mired in. But even this small hint of her presence near him kept him fighting through his visions. Tifa was out there waiting for him and he needed to keep his sanity, no matter how difficult it was. He would survive this that was clear. If he was able to go through this for thirty years for a woman that did not love him, then certainly he could survive a million to get back into Tifa's arms. No matter how horrible the dreams were, they all had one thing in common. They made Vincent realize exactly how much he loved Tifa, and how if he tried hard enough, he would be able to get back to her.


	59. Cat Out of the Bag

Guilt's Cost: Part LIX

Cat Out of the Bag

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Reno had gotten back with Quigley around two in the morning. After getting Quigley settled back into his old quarters, Reno had slipped quietly back into his own. Angel was asleep on the bed and he crawled under the sheets next to her. She stirred slightly at the disturbance and turned over to see him. Once she realized that it was Reno she threw her arms around him. Although it hadn't been a particularly dangerous mission that he'd been on, she had still worried.

"How's about a little welcome home romp?" Reno asked, bringing his lips to meet the base of her neck.

Angel sighed and pushed him away. "Sorry, I don't really feel up to it."

"What's wrong?" Reno was confused. She never turned him down after a mission.

"Tseng is in the infirmary again." Angel sat up and turned on the light next to the bed.

Reno furrowed his brow. "What happened? Is it the old man's heart again?"

"Yeah." She leaned back against the headboard. "He had a little surprise when Tifa and Cid got back from Mideel and it was enough to send him into another attack."

"Shit, that's a pisser." He sighed. "So what was the big secret mission to Mideel?"

Angel smiled weakly. "My brother is alive, and they brought him back here."

"Whoa, Sephiroth is alive?" His eyes went wide.

She proceeded to tell him how the life stream had pulled him down in the North Crater and then washed him up in Mideel. "And now he's a different person."

Reno remembered back to the time when he was first reunited with Tseng and he had told him about Sephiroth saving him. Reno had been the only one Tseng had told about Sephiroth being Vincent's son other than Angel. "God Damn, who would have guessed? But about Tseng, is he going to be okay?"

"Dr. Arlin is doing surgery tomorrow. She is bringing in a cardiologist down from topside, and I'm assisting as well. He will be in very good hands." She said quietly.

Reno didn't know what to say. It wasn't like him to show the concern he felt over his boss's plight so he suppressed it. "Go figure. Sephiroth…"

"He took on a different name in Mideel, since he had no memory of who he was he had to create a new identity. Jaras is his name now." Angel looked up at the ceiling. "I haven't gotten to talk to him much yet, but he seems very quiet, reserved. Not at all like I would have imagined."

"And how is Tifa doing with all this? Did you tell her yet about Cloud?" Reno asked, unusually serious.

"No, and I'm not going to be the one that has to, either." She frowned. "If Tseng wants to send her into that God forsaken lab to get Cloud, then _he's_ going to have to tell her. I'm not putting her through that heartbreak, no way."

"Sounds like Tseng ain't in much of a position to tell her right now either." Reno laid back on the bed with his hands behind his head.

"It doesn't matter anyway." Angel's contempt for the situation was obvious. "That mission isn't going to happen until Tseng's better anyway. That's one that is going to have his personal approval before going on. How can he possibly expect Tifa to go through that? I mean, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if my father could go to support her, but alone? That is just too unfair to her!"

Reno thought for a moment. "Maybe Daddy _can _go."

Angel looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

He smiled slyly. "If we need Vinny to keep Tifa from doing something stupid, then we have to have him. I could care less about Tifa going back to Cloud if she chose to if Vinny wasn't in the picture, but he is and I know it would bother you. Since I can't stand to see my woman hurt like that, I'm going to have to intervene."

"Reno, what are you suggesting?" She dared to ask.

"You know what I've got in mind. Vinny's comin' out of the fucking box. If that means I have to zap him every once in a while to keep that demon in him in check, then that's what I'll do." Reno was quite pleased with his plan. Defying orders was, after all, his specialty.

"Tseng will have your hide for this!" Angel was not one to go against her uncle's wishes, and knew that Reno was in for the reprimand of his life if he did what he was suggesting.

"Fuck him." Reno rolled over on his side. "I'll do whatever I want. I practically run this operation anyway."

"Just because you're my uncle's right hand man doesn't give you license to do what ever you want." She reminded him gently.

He looked back over his shoulder at her briefly. "Well honey, that's what I've got you for. He wouldn't dare fire me or anything, knowing that it would piss you off. Like it or not, Tseng thinks the sun rises and sets in you."

Angel shook her head with a smile on her face and turned off the light. Somehow she knew that Reno was going to do this just as much for Tifa and Vincent as her. There were times when his righteousness almost made up for his crude persona. She snuggled down and put her arm around him. "I love you."

"Yeah, I know." Reno said proudly. "All the ladies do."


	60. Wake Up Call

Guilt's Cost: Part LX

Wake Up Call

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The morning found Quigley in the cafeteria eating. Despite the fact that he'd gotten home only a few hours ago, he had found it impossible to sleep so got up and came here. He picked at the waffles before him thinking about what he had seen back at Shin Ra.

Reno and Angel came in not too much later and they sat at his table opposite him. 

Before Reno sat down, he made a point of mussing Quigley's tousled hair. "Morning, Quiggers."

Quigley cringed from Reno's pet name for him as well as having to be subjected to Reno's insistent head rubbing. Why he had always felt the need to stroke Quigley like that he did not know. "I see you're up to your usual tricks, Reno."

He smiled. "Come on, admit it! You've missed me over the last few years."

Quigley's deadpan expression betrayed the truth. "Oh yes, Reno. I missed being treated like your dog all the time."

"Well how the Hell can I not, what with those big ass puppy dog eyes of yours and all." He nudged Angel slightly, wanting her to partake of the joking.

Quigley was in no mood for this after what he'd been through. "So Angel, I see you're still with him."

She smiled. "Yes, I'm afraid so."

"I should have hoped that a smart girl would have figured him out by now." Quigley pushed back his plate.

Angel shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you. I guess I'm not as smart as everyone thinks. So, how about you? Are you still a loner?"

"Well, in light of the fact that I always knew I'd have to leave Midgar someday, coupled with the fact that no woman has ever been the slightest bit interested in me, I have remained single." Quigley said in his usual flat voice.

Reno leaned on his elbows. "Quiggers, what's this about Cloud being in Hojo's lab?"

He shrugged. "What's there to tell? I saw him there, and he was alive contrary to ASRIO's belief. That's it."

"You're sure it was him?" Reno pried.

"I'm not an idiot, Reno." Quigley folded his arms over his chest. "It was Cloud, plain and simple."

Angel hung her head, hearing this directly from Quigley took away any doubt. "I can't believe it…"

Quigley narrowed his eyes. "I heard about Tseng, I'm sorry. But before his attack, did he say anything about what he thought?"

Angel grew angry. "Tseng intends for us to rescue Cloud, whether he wants to be rescued or not."

"Angel, you don't sound too happy about that." Quigley showed some surprise.

"Because in order to get Cloud to go with us, he wants to send Tifa Lockheart in." Angel tore her napkin in two.

"And what's the problem with that? She is his wife." Quigley was intrigued. 

Angel's voice raised slightly. "She _was_ his wife, until he tried to kill himself. Tifa is now involved with my father."

Quigley raised his eyebrows. "Vincent Valentine? Tifa Lockheart is with Vincent Valentine? How did that happen?"

"It's a long story, but it doesn't matter. Do you have any idea what it will do the both of them to know that Cloud is alive?" Her face grew dark with emotion.

"So no one has yet told either Ms. Lockheart or Mr. Valentine?" Quigley asked.

"No, we haven't had a chance to tell Tifa yet. She just got back from Mideel." Angel sighed. "It turns out that Sephiroth has been living there for the last seven years. His mind was completely erased after the battle, and he's a new man."

Quigley stared at her agog.

"She and Cid brought him back here." She said; amused at the expression Quigley wore.

"Sephiroth is here?" Quigley couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Reno mimicked Angel's voice. "Oh, but don't call him that! His name is Jaras now."

Quigley nodded. "And Mr. Valentine? You haven't said anything about him."

"He is in a stasis box." Angel hung her head.

Quigley had been unfortunate enough to get quite an education about stasis boxes having worked for Hojo. "Why?"

"The Chaos demon that Hojo embedded into his DNA makes him too dangerous to keep around. So Tseng ordered him into the box." Angel's pain was tangible.

Reno glanced around the room, seeing that they were still alone. "But I'm getting him out of that box, so when Tseng gets better and decides to send Tifa to get Cloud, Vinny can go with them."

"Good to know you still look out for Tseng's best interests." Quigley smiled for the first time in a while.

"Hey, someone's got to keep things exciting around here." Reno got up from the table. He wanted to go check some things out. "Hey Angel, I've got to go out for a bit. Don't get in any trouble, all right?"

She gave him a short kiss. "Yes master."

Reno strolled out and toward the hall where Tifa's room was. Just as he prepared to round the corner, he heard Tifa's voice and he stopped to listen.

Tifa had come out into the hall and had literally run right in to Jaras. He was still incredibly embarrassed from the night before and he tried to turn to head back into his room, but Tifa had grabbed his wrist and held him in place.

"Jaras, I need to talk to you." She said quietly.

He just stared down at where she was holding his arm.

"Look, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings last night." She let her hand fall away from him. "I'm really flattered that you think of me in that way, but I'm in love with Vincent. I need you to understand that."

He kept his gaze to the floor, wishing that he could just disappear. "I do understand, and I'm sorry. I should have shown better restraint, but…"

She truly felt bad for him. "But what?"

Finally he brought his eyes up to meet hers. The sadness that had been there the night before was still obvious. "It's just that you're so beautiful, and you've been so kind to me."

"I'm sorry if you got the wrong impression. I like you, I really do, but we haven't known each other that long and like I said before, I'm in love with Vincent." Tifa stepped closer to him, wishing that her words weren't hurting him.

Although he knew that she was just trying to make him feel better, he shriveled inside. "I won't try anything again."

Tifa stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "Thank you. I do want to be your friend, but that's all we can be."

Her closeness to him was not helping. "Okay."

Tifa smiled, deciding that she had made her point. It was time to change the subject. "Well, do you want to go with me to see Cid off?"

"Yes." Jaras said and they made their way down the hall together.

Reno allowed his head to fall back against the wall. "God Damn it. I got to get Vincent out before she does something stupid."

He ran to Tseng's room as fast as he could. Being the only one in the base that had a key to this room other than Tseng himself, entry was no problem. He searched the room, finding what he had come for lying on the dresser. Reno slipped the found key ring into his pocket and then left hurriedly.

Reno ended up in the detention block and went into Vincent's cell. He stood over the box for several moments, contemplating what he was going to do. He pulled his electric night staff from his side and flicked it open. Energy cracked from the end of it and Reno walked to the head of the casket. Here there was located a small control panel. After checking the room to make sure that no one was watching him, he let the electrified end of the staff tap against the metal panel. There was an audible crack as the stasis box was overloaded and the current was conducted through the thing causing Vincent's unconscious body to jump within.

Upon realizing that by hitting the box he had also shocked Vincent Reno apologized. "Sorry, Vinny. Didn't mean to scare you." He hit the button on the side of his staff that caused it to power down and retract. He tucked it back away. 

The control panel sparked for a few moments, and then the low hum of the stasis box stopped, indicating that it was no longer functional. "Aw shit, Vinny. Looks like the sleeping beauty box done busted. Guess I better get you out before you suffocate. Don't think Tifa would like that."

Reno knelt next to the box and pulled Tseng's keys from his pocket. He found the one that matched the lock on the side of the casket and unlocked it. Before raising the lid and awakening Vincent, Reno had to steel himself. 

"Can't believe I'm fucking doing you this kind of a favor, old man. But I can't have Tifa gettin' hurt cause then Angel'd get all upset. I can't let that happen. So don't think this means I like you, cause I don't, at least not enough to care one way or the other about you getting out of there. Besides, I'm tired of waiting and I'm gonna marry Angel so you have to be there. All right?" Reno said to the box.

He reached out and with one fluid motion opened the box. Wisps of fog rose from within as the gases inside escaped into the room. Reno got up and took a step back.

As the haze cleared, Vincent's form was visible lying there. He was still asleep.

Reno was expecting him to just sort of pop out and was disappointed. "Hey Vinny, you coming out of there?"

Vincent drew in his first breath of room air. As his body was pulled out of the stasis sleep, he groaned.

For a moment, Reno was afraid that his shock to the box and Vincent might have been a little too much. "Vinny? Come on, man. Get up!"

The first thing that moved was Vincent's cybernetic arm. It came up and over, grasping the edge of the box. After a few more moments Vincent sat up and opened his eyes. It would be a few more minutes before he was able to talk or stand.

Reno was slightly relieved. "You really know how to scare the Hell out of someone, you know?"

Vincent turned and looked at him blankly. Why Reno was the only one here puzzled him.

"Expecting Tifa, weren't you?" Reno crossed his arms, tickled to see some emotion on Vincent's face.

He nodded slightly as he dropped his gaze back down. _God, I hope she's all right. Why wouldn't she be here? Have I been out so long that she quit waiting?_

Reno could see what was on his mind. "She ain't here cause she don't know I'm springing you from there. She'll be just tickled shitless though when she finds out."

He cleared his throat. It was dry and made talking hard. "Why… are you letting me out?"

"If you had been paying attention earlier you may have recalled that I told you not to go in there in the first place you pain in the ass." Reno furrowed his brow. The world would be a lot nicer if people just listened to him every once in a while.

"So… you're not letting me out because there is a cure?" Vincent's heart was sinking.

"Nope." Reno hated to break it to him, but wasn't going to lie. "I'm letting you out so you can take care of Tifa. And my baby needs you too. It may have only been a few days, but they're driving me nuts."

"A few days?" Vincent closed his eyes in bitter disappointment. It certainly felt longer than that to him. He laid back down and reached for the lid.

"Hey!" Reno ran forward and kicked the lid back up. Vincent looked up at him from inside with great annoyance. "Look here you mother fucker! You get your sorry ass out of there and go take care of Tifa! You're breaking her heart and I can't take it anymore. You can fight that demon, I know you can, so just do it, be a man and get the fuck OUT!"

Vincent just blinked up at him in amazement. Apparently Reno had forgotten how easily he could kill him if he so chose.

"Yeah, if looks could kill, right?" Reno scoffed. "Like it or not, you have to come out. The box is toast. I don't think it'll ever play the piano again."

Vincent narrowed his eyes in confusion. Reno's words made no sense, and he was fairly certain it wasn't because his mind was clouded from the stasis. "Piano?"

"Oh the fuck!" Reno reached down and grabbed Vincent's normal arm and pulled him up to his feet. "We're going."

Vincent was still too weak from the hibernation to resist as Reno dragged him out of the detention block.


	61. Cleaning Up

Guilt's Cost: Part LXI

Cleaning Up

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Reno pulled Vincent mercilessly back to the room he and Angel shared. Once inside he locked the door and turned to Vincent. Reno examined him thoughtfully. "Shit."

Vincent looked at him vexedly. "What?"

"Shit." Reno said again. "You look like shit."

After glancing down, Vincent saw that he was still in Reno's loaned outfit. Like it or not he had to agree with Reno's assessment of his appearance. "Oh, yeah."

"Get your sorry ass in the shower and clean the Hell up." Reno's tone made it clear this was an order. "I'm gonna go find your skinny butt something decent to wear."

Vincent couldn't help himself. "You are the one who picked this out," he reminded him flatly. He had no idea why he was humoring Reno.

"Now we got to get you out of your jammies." Reno turned toward the door. "I'll be right back, so don't even think about leaving or I'll hunt you down like a dog. You got that, Vinny?"

Vincent just stared back blankly. He did not have the energy to argue as his recent stasis had left him weak.

Once Reno had departed Vincent went into the bathroom and latched the door. He leaned over the sink and examined his image in the mirror. His hair was a tangled mess with several matted tresses hanging before his face. Thanks to his Wutain heritage Vincent rarely needed to shave, but now was one of those times. His dark beard was sporadic at best and only served to make him look worse. It wasn't the kind of five o'clock shadow that some men (Cid for one) could pull off; some how making them look very masculine. Rather it was more like that of a sickly fifteen-year-old, exaggerating his deathly appearance.

Vincent looked down to the counter and spotted Reno's razor. He picked it up, disgusted to see that it was covered with Reno's orange stubble. He turned on the tap, letting the water get as hot as it could and rinsed the blade. After five minutes of careful work his face was once again smooth.

He then pulled off his clothes and stepped into the shower. Vincent turned on the water and allowed it to soak his hair. After he was shampooed and bathed, he remained beneath the running water, letting his mind wander.

Vincent knew that being out of the stasis box was a mistake, but Reno had destroyed the functionality of the thing. Even though he hadn't been awake to see Reno do it, he was certain that he had. Stasis boxes didn't just 'stop' working. He should get out of the shower and dress before running from the base as fast as he could. Tifa's safety was in danger, and Vincent cursed Reno under his breath for waking him. How could it be that even when Reno was trying to do something nice it turned out pissing someone off?

Reno finally returned and pounded on the bathroom door. "Hey Vinny, you in there?"

Vincent turned off the water. "Yes."

"Oh, good." Reno sighed. "Just wanted to make sure that you didn't go and slit your wrists with my razor or something."

Vincent allowed an uncharacteristic smile to grace his lips. "Don't give me any ideas."

"Fuck that." Reno kicked the door lightly. "Knowing your girl, Angel would probably make me clean up the mess or something."

Vincent moved from the shower stall and pulled a towel from the wall. "I wouldn't want to make you have to scrub blood from the grout now would I?"

"You're a good guy, Vinny." Reno dropped the bundle of clothes in his arms before the door. "Got something here for ya. You know how hard it is to find a store with a depressed skinny ass guy department?"

Vincent made no reply as he picked up a brush from the counter and started to tame his hair.

"Well it ain't easy." Reno answered for himself as he flopped onto the couch. "But I think I managed to put together a rather lovely ensemble if I do say so myself."

"You are a regular fairy God mother." Vincent said, more to himself than Reno.

"I heard that, Vinny." Reno flipped through the channels on the television endlessly. "There you go with the friggin' jokes again. I thought we had a talk about that."

Vincent cracked open the door and pulled the clothes inside. "So sue me."

"You're just full of them today aren't you?" He sighed, finally settling on the weather channel.

Truth be told, after the nightmares Vincent had been suffering in the stasis box, the prospect of having Tifa in his arms again was getting to him. He had a new resolve to fight Chaos. Nothing was going to come between him and Tifa. Nothing. If a side effect of this was for him to be a little more on the happier end of the spectrum, then so be it. "You just bring out the best in me, Reno."

"Aw shit, don't tell me you're going all gay on me. Having to deal with your brother is bad enough." Reno closed his eyes and slouched down between the cushions.

Vincent cracked the door open and looked at Reno, his eyebrows raised. "You know about Tseng?"

Reno glanced over at Vincent. "Well no duh, I have known him forever."

"Oh." Vincent shut the door again. Reno was turning out to be a little more perceptive than he had given him credit for.

Vincent laid the clothes Reno had brought for him out on the counter. There was a black dress shirt, amazingly enough in the right size to fit Vincent properly. The pants were also the correct size and too were black; a narrow leather belt with a silver buckle, black dress socks, black leather military boots, and last but not least there was a package of underwear. Even here Reno didn't miss a joke. The boxers that he had brought for Vincent were black with little yellow smiley faces on them. Despite this, Vincent had to give Reno credit, it was a decent outfit and everything fit. He couldn't help but say something to Reno. "You make fun of Tseng for being gay but you managed to know my exact measurements by just looking at me. I think you have a possible future in the clothing industry."

"Shut the fuck up and get dressed." Reno didn't appreciate the taunt. He could dish it out, but when it came to being on the receiving end, well…

Vincent finally stepped out of the bathroom dressed in what Reno had brought. He had managed to find a rubber band in the drawer and had his wet hair tied back with it. "Hey Reno."

He looked at his charge approvingly. "Now there's the Vinny we all know and love."

"Yeah, thanks." Vincent managed a pathetic smile.

"Don't mention it." Reno turned his attention back to the television. There was a special on tornadoes coming up, and he didn't want to miss it. Suddenly he remembered something that made him feel unusually remorseful. "Hey Vinny?"

"What?" Vincent made his way to the couch and sat to lace up his boots.

"Sorry I hit you the other day." Reno was obviously uncomfortable with his apology.

Vincent sat back up, leaving his laces undone for the moment. "Uh, I had it coming."

Reno furrowed his brow. "Yeah, you did."


	62. Farewell

Guilt's Cost: Part LXII

Farewell

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Cid had left his room while Tifa still slept. He had needed to go up into town to pick something up before leaving; something he never _ever _imagined he would need.

He walked back to the pharmacy counter and waited for someone to help him. After a few moments a short corpulent man came to assist him.

"Good morning, Sir." The pharmacist said in a heavily accented voice.

Cid scratched the back of his head and mumbled. "I need some of that special gum or something."

"Ah, you wish to quit smoking?" The man seemed pleased.

"Wife's having a kid, that's the only reason I'm doing it." Cid was finding it hard to talk about this. Some things were just too personal to discuss with strangers.

The pharmacist nodded knowingly, and disappeared for a moment. He came back with several different boxes. "There are many options for those who choose to quit these days. There is the gum, as well as these patches that deliver a constant dose of nicotine to help you not feel the need to smoke."

Cid looked down at the counter at the boxes laid out before him. He really had no opinion over what method anyone said was the best. Cid just wanted something, anything so he could just get the Hell out of the drug store before someone saw him. "Just give me whatever."

The pharmacist smiled and rung up a box of patches and placed them in a bag. Cid shrugged and picked up the box of gum and handed it to him as well. "I want this too."

"But the patches should be enough, Sir." He said, typing into the cash register.

Cid thought the gum would at least make him _feel _like he was doing something. "I don't really give a damn."

The pharmacist shrugged and rung him up for the gum as well. "Yes Sir."

After grumbling about the cost of his purchase Cid stuffed the drug store bag into his pack and headed back. He made his way to the airfield wanting to give the plane the once over before leaving. As he inspected the plane, Tifa and Jaras emerged onto the airfield. 

Tifa walked up to him, obviously sad. "So, you're leaving, huh?"

Cid glanced back over his shoulder at her as he ran his hands along the blades of a propeller. "Yeah, getting anxious to check on Shera."

"Oh, okay." Tifa was more than a little depressed that he was going, but there was no way she could ask him to stay away from Shera any longer. "Thanks for taking me to Mideel."

He finished examining the plane and came before Tifa. "Anytime."

She put her arms around him, allowing her face to rest against his chest one last time. "I'll miss you. I'm so happy you were here."

"No problem." He whispered to her. "You take care, and if you need to call us or something, go ahead. I won't hold it against you."

"Thanks Cid." Her eyes blurred from tears as she stepped back.

Cid went a few steps away to where Jaras stood and extended his hand. "Jaras."

Jaras accepted the handshake weakly. There was a part of him that feared Cid after all the verbal abuse over the last few days. "Thank you."

Cid leaned a little closer as to talk to Jaras without Tifa hearing. "You've got to look out for her, but don't try anything funny, all right? If something happens to that little girl over there I'm gonna come back and kick your ass personally."

Jaras blushed in his continued embarrassment over recent events. "Y…yes Sir."

"Good man." Cid smiled and turned back to the plane.

Jaras came to Tifa's side as Cid disappeared into the plane. They waved as he made his way out onto the runway and took off. 

Once alone, Jaras turned to Tifa. "You told him, didn't you?"

"Oh," Tifa dropped her gaze. "I kind of tell him everything."

"He's been a good friend to you." Jaras smiled, knowing that Cid's threat to him hadn't been an idle one.

Tifa smiled up at him. "Cid is a wonderful man. He might seem a little gruff at times, but he has a heart of gold."

"Yes, I suppose he does." Jaras turned back toward the entrance to the base and started walking.

Tifa ran to catch up to him and finally reached his side. She went on with him in silence back to the base. Managing to hold back anymore tears for Cid's departure, her demeanor grew quiet.

Jaras could tell that she was agonizing over Cid leaving and he wanted desperately to put his arms around her to comfort her, but Cid's words echoed clearly in his mind. He needed to control himself around Tifa or else there would be consequences he didn't want to face.

After getting inside Jaras slipped back into his room and Tifa went to her own. She opened the door and caught her breath. Whether she was seeing a hallucination or the real thing she wasn't quite certain. "Vincent?"

He stood just a short distance away, right before the bed. Vincent couldn't even bring himself to speak. All he could do was race forward and take her in his arms, allowing his lips to meet hers eagerly.

Tifa's heart soared as he embraced her, lifting her up from the floor as he kissed her. She closed her eyes and sighed softy as his lips parted and he invaded her mouth. Tifa's hands explored his back feverishly, reveling in its familiarity. No matter how hard she had tried to pretend that Tseng was Vincent over the last few days, nothing could compare to this. Her love had returned to her and she knew neither why or how, nor did she care. She wouldn't have made it any longer without him now that Cid was gone.

Vincent held her to him so tightly that he feared he might crush her and yet he wasn't unable to let up. He had missed her so desperately that his heart now erupted with flames at this reunion. He would never let her go again. Vincent admonished himself for allowing Chaos to almost take her from him. Inside him, the demon actually cowered from the heat of emotion burning with in Vincent's soul. Although no one could see it at that moment, the extent of the demon's skin upon Vincent's body receded just the slightest bit.


	63. Vincent's Son

Guilt's Cost: Part LXIII

Vincent's Son

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa and Vincent remained in each other's arms for quite a while. There were no words spoken between them, as they weren't needed. After their lips had parted Tifa had laid her face against Vincent's chest and he now had his cheek resting on her hair. Silent tears of relief and joy fell from Tifa's eyes, and it would be a lie to say that Vincent wasn't fighting some of his own. They stood there together, rocking slightly.

Reno appeared in the doorway and leaned against the frame. "Hey Vinny."

Vincent opened his eyes and looked over to see the former Turk. "Reno."

"Aw, if that ain't the sweetest thing it ever saw." Reno said waving his hand at Tifa and Vincent. "This is the kind of shit that'll bring a tear to my eye."

Tifa turned to see Reno wearing a cocky smile. Her eyes went wide as a realization set into her mind. "Did you let him out?"

Reno laughed to himself. "Why the Hell would I do that?"

She gazed up at Vincent. "He did, didn't he?"

"Yes." Vincent smiled down at her. "He let me out and knocked some sense into me."

Tifa left Vincent's side and walked to Reno. She couldn't help but put her arms around him. "Thank you! Oh God, thank you Reno!"

Reno kept his gaze locked with Vincent's as she embraced him. He made sure to keep his hands down at his sides, not wanting to upset Vincent with a cheap grope of his woman. "You just better be happy that I got him cleaned up before giving him to you. Old Vinny was gettin' pretty damned ripe."

Vincent just nodded in slight approval of Reno's restraint. He was continuing to surprise Vincent every step of the way.

Tifa finally retreated back to Vincent's side, slipping her arms around his waist. "Reno, why would you disobey Tseng?"

"Oh please." Reno entered the room and went over to the side of the bed. He sat down heavily. "In light of Tseng's condition, I am currently in charge. So my first official act as temporary leader was to dig up the Count."

Vincent's smile faltered. "What's wrong with my brother?"

Tifa tightened her grip around him. "Tseng had another attack last night. The doctors are going to do surgery on him shortly."

"What was he doing to have another attack?" Vincent filled with worry. He knew heart conditions were nothing to laugh at, especially in light of what had occurred during the last episode.

Reno rolled his eyes. "Oh shit, here we go. It ain't anything he was doing, it's who he saw."

Tifa sighed. "Tseng got a report that made him send me to Mideel. Cid came and flew me there. We met with Brandon, the doctor that took care of Cloud. Do you remember him?"

"Yes." Vincent said, wanting her to get to the point.

"Well, he told us something pretty amazing." She hung her head and took a step back.

Vincent turned away and placed his head in his hands. There had been a dream where Tifa had been telling him this story before. He was remembering the words she had spoken to him while he was in stasis. "You told me this… Sephiroth washed up from the life stream without any memory of the past."

"Holy shit, Tifa!" Reno stood back up. "How did you tell him that? He's been asleep since then!"

Her cheeks reddened. "I… I went down and sat next to his stasis box, and I told him about the trip to Mideel. I had no idea you could actually hear me in there."

"I do remember." Vincent faced her again, surprised with his recollection of her tale. "Now he's here, isn't he?"

As if on cue, Jaras emerged from his room and stood looking right at Tifa and Vincent. He knew Vincent's image well from the books and articles he had read while in Mideel. Slowly, he walked forward with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.

Vincent turned to him, his expression devoid of anything for the moment. It was Sephiroth, and he was in shock. Never did he think that he would get to see his son again, much less speak to him. There was a flurry of conflicting emotions within him as Jaras came closer.

Jaras stopped before Vincent. His father was not quite as tall as he and he found himself looking down at him slightly. "Mr. Valentine?"

It was an awkward reenactment of his first encounter with Angel, but the feelings within him at this meeting were quite different. He had never known of Angel's existence, but Sephiroth was a whole other story. This was a man who Vincent had failed as a father and although Jaras may not have had any memory of his life before Meteor, Vincent wondered if he would be forgiven. "Sephiroth…"

"My name is Jaras now." He said without much expression. The tension emanating from Vincent was burning him. 

"I always wanted to tell you the truth before, about me being your father." Vincent said quietly, needing to make his confession before he backed out.

Jaras locked gazes with Vincent. "I don't remember anything… but knowing that I have a family now after seven years of loneliness in Mideel… makes me feel…"

Vincent wasn't quite sure, but he thought that tears were starting to form in Jaras's eyes. "What?"

Jaras couldn't help it, and let the tears fall. "Like I belong somewhere finally."

Seeing emotion for the first time on his son's face, Vincent buckled and went forward embracing him. His face too was soon streaked with moisture. "I'm so sorry… I should never have let Hojo take you… Your mother wouldn't let me keep you from his experiments…"

Jaras felt Vincent tremble in his arms. It was heartbreaking to see the pain within him. "Like I said, I don't remember anything, but even knowing what I do about my life from the books I read, I don't blame you for anything. If Hojo had known any more than he did, he would have just killed you outright."

Vincent couldn't say anymore and he stepped back, putting his arm around Tifa's shoulders as she came up next to him. He dropped his gaze to the floor, shamed by his blatant display of emotion in front off everyone in the room. 

Jaras too felt awkward and put his hands back into his pockets. "But we got a chance to start over, right?"

Vincent smiled. "Yes, we did."

"I can't believe the kindness everyone has shown me, especially after all that I did back then." Jaras said softly.

Tifa looked into Jaras's eyes. "We all know that a lot of that was due to the Jenova within you. Now that the life stream took that all away, you are really _you _now."

He smiled at Tifa, knowing exactly what Vincent loved in her. "I guess so."

Reno cleared his throat, wanting everyone's attention. "There is something else we just found out that you all need to know as you're going to get involved with it sooner or later."

Everyone fell silent and turned toward Reno. The oddly serious expression he was wearing sent a chill down everyone's spine. Reno had something important on his mind, and all those present grew afraid.


	64. Cloud

Guilt's Cost: Part LXIV

Cloud

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

All those present stared at Reno, awaiting his news. He forced a weak smile and looked over at Tifa and Vincent. "You might want to sit down."

Vincent led Tifa over to the couch and they did as ordered. Jaras just remained standing where he was.

"We had a spy working for Hojo in the Shin Ra building. He gave Tseng some really crappy news the other day and I was sent to bail this guy out of Midgar. The spy told us that Cloud isn't dead." Reno hung his head as the words escaped him. He knew Tifa was not going to handle this well.

She sat staring at Reno in silent shock for several minutes. There was a part of her that wasn't surprised; after all, his body had gone missing. "He's alive?"

Vincent just closed his eyes and sighed, feeling like all the wind had just been blown from his sails. A fear surged up within him and he was afraid that Tifa would lose her love for him knowing that Cloud was still among the living.

"Sorry, but it gets worse." Reno fell back to the bed and sat. "He is living in Hojo's lab as a willing specimen."

"But why?" Tifa asked in a hush. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Quiggers said Hojo promised to bring back Aeris if Cloud cooperated. I don't think he actually would bring her back, Hell, I don't even know if he could, but that's apparently why Cloud is there." Reno said, fidgeting with his hands. "Sorry to rain on your parade like that."

Tifa turned and buried her face in Vincent's shirt. It made all too much sense to her that Cloud would turn to Hojo if he promised to resurrect the Ancient. She began to cry bitterly in Vincent's embrace. Tifa knew Cloud would have been better off dead than to be under Hojo's care.

Vincent held Tifa tightly as she sobbed, hoping that she wasn't choosing Cloud over him. But he also respected the fact that Tifa had been with Cloud most of her life, and that if she had to make that decision, he would be cast aside. If she truly loved Vincent as much as he loved her, she wouldn't go back to Cloud. After all, hadn't she told him that she was going to leave Cloud even before she saw him bleeding to death in their home? For the sake of his own sanity, Vincent had to believe that those words had been true.

Jaras took the news better. His eyes narrowed as he listened to the story, upset to see Cloud had gone to the enemy. Having no personal emotional investment in Cloud, he wasn't quite as disturbed to hear this as the others and yet something did bother him. Not only was his father standing between he and Tifa, now Cloud Strife had returned to the playing field. His chances at ever being more than friends with her just went from between slim and none to absolute zero.

Reno looked around the room, depressed at what he saw. This place that had just been the site of a joyous reunion was now looking more like a funeral parlor. The air was heavy with emotion, and all that could be heard was Tifa's quiet crying. "I didn't want to tell you, but you had to know. Tseng wants us to go get Cloud the Hell out of that lab."

"How? If he's there under his own will, how do you intend for us to get him to go?" Vincent asked, needed to free his mind from his silent torture.

Reno gazed up at the ceiling. "Oh fuck, Vinny, Tseng thinks Tifa should go with the extrication team. He thinks she can get through to him and make him change his mind. That's why I busted you out. I figured that if she was going to have to face Cloud that you had a God damned right to go with her. That sorry fuck Cloud isn't going to tear her apart if you're there for her."

Tifa looked up, her eyes red. Reno's reason for getting Vincent out touched her and she was appreciative. "Thank you, Reno. I couldn't do it without Vincent."

Vincent kissed the top of her head. "Tifa?"

She smiled up at him. "Don't worry, Vincent. Even though he's alive I'm not going back to him. It didn't work out between he and I over all those years, and I know nothing would have changed. I used to love Cloud, but over time it just turned to pity. That is all I feel for him now. I love you."

Vincent drew in a shuttering breath, relieved at her words. "I was afraid…"

"Don't be." She placed a hand on the side of his face. "I would never leave you, Vincent. After what I've been through since you locked yourself away, I could _never_ stand to be alone like that again. I agree with them that we have to get Cloud out of there and get him some help, I think I owe him that much, but that is it."

He smiled, warmed by her sincerity. There was a part of him that worried that her resolve wouldn't be quite so cut and dry when she actually saw Cloud again. "I love you."

"Hey lovebirds." Reno stood up. "Hate to interrupt, but I think we should go see the old man before he goes under the knife."

Vincent had momentarily forgotten about Tseng's plight. "Oh, yeah."

The four of them went to the infirmary and gathered around Tseng's bed. Reno reached out and shook Tseng slightly. "Hey old man, wake up. You got visitors."

Tseng roused slowly and opened his tired eyes. Reno was the first person he saw. "Hey…"

"Somebody wanted to say hi before you went into surgery." Reno said, pointing to Vincent standing on the other side of the bed.

As Tseng looked over and saw his brother, his eyes widened. "Tsuvati? What are you doing here?"

"The box malfunctioned and they had to get me out." Vincent only felt he was half-lying, and wanted to shield Reno from any blame. "How are you?"

Tseng blinked up at him in slight confusion. "Forget that, how are _you_?"

"Fine, I'm fine." Vincent smiled, trying to cover the anguish he felt over his brother's current state. Tseng looked ashen and drawn, and Vincent was terribly concerned. "They are taking you to surgery?"

"Yes, Angel was here a short while ago and gave me the run down. Triple bypass, if I'm not mistaken." Tseng said with a faint grin. "I'll do just fine though. I have full confidence in Dr. Arlin and her assosiates."

Vincent reached down and took his brother's hand in his own. "You had better make it. We have a lot more to talk about still, right?"

"Yes." Tseng closed his eyes for a moment. "We do. How are you, Tifa?"

"Better now that Vincent is back." She hung her head. "I heard about Cloud."

Tseng looked up at her. "I am sorry."

"I will help to get him out of there, on one condition." Tifa locked gazes with him.

"What is that?" Tseng furrowed his brow.

"Vincent goes with us." Tifa said assertively.

Tseng closed his eyes again and sighed. He feared sending Vincent into action again, especially where Hojo and his lab were concerned. "I don't know."

"Either he goes or I don't." Tifa would not back down. If there had been anything she had learned from Tseng thus far it was abject stubborness.

Tseng looked at Vincent. "I suppose she won't take no for an answer."

"No, she will not." Vincent answered, his lips producing a hint of a smile.

Tseng closed his eyes again. "Fine, so be it. We will discuss this further after my recuperation."

Tifa and Vincent smiled to each other, and on the other side of the bed, Reno crossed his arms over his chest in pride. He was also grateful that Vincent hadn't ratted him out.

Tseng looked over at Reno. "Tifa's safety is your priority now. You protect her from Chaos at all costs. I will not have a repeat of the incident on the airship."

Reno nodded, taking Tseng's words very seriously. "You got it, boss."

"You better." Tseng sighed. "Or else you _will _lose your job. Understood?"

Tseng had never threatened to fire him before, at least not seriously. "Yeah, I understand."

Tseng turned his attention to Vincent. "If you even think that demon might come out, you lock yourself in a prison cell."

"I will." Vincent had already planned on such action if needed.

Dr. Arlin emerged from her office and came to the bedside. She spotted Vincent and cocked an eyebrow. "Mr. Valentine, you're out of stasis?"

"Yes, as I told Tseng, the chamber broke down and I awoke." Vincent managed to pull off the lie again.

She seemed to accept this in stride. "I would go retrieve Angel from the surgery suite to let her see you, but I don't wish to rattle her before we undertake this procedure, so you will have to wait."

Vincent nodded in approval. "I would not want to be a distraction."

"Thank you." Dr. Arlin put the arm rails up on the sides of Tseng's bed. "If you'll excuse us, we have an appointment with a surgeon now."

Everyone stepped back so she could wheel Tseng out of the room. They all stood together in silence after they disappeared through the surgery room doors.


	65. Vincent's Past

Guilt's Cost: Part LXV

Vincent's Past

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Reno walked up to Tifa and Vincent. "So, I guess the old man will be in there for a while."

"Yes." Vincent replied, his human arm draped around Tifa. "So I guess you'll be escorting Tifa and I from now on."

"Hell no." Reno scoffed. "I've got a life to live. You two do whatever you want. Maybe this is stupid of me, but I ain't afraid of Chaos. If he starts to cause any shit, you guys can get a hold of me. Tseng gave you one of those transmitters, didn't he, Tifa?"

She reached into a pocket and pulled it out. "Yeah he did."

Reno pulled a pager from his pocket and hit a button on it. "From now on if anyone signals for Tseng, I'll get the message until he's back in commission. Just keep your pants on this time so if you need it, you can reach it."

Tifa flushed in embarrassment. "Okay."

"Good." Reno turned to Jaras. "I think they need some private time, so why don't you and I go get a bite to eat?"

Jaras agreed silently. He really didn't feel much like eating, but he did need to get away from Tifa for a while. Just being around her was hard for him. 

Reno and Jaras left and Tifa and Vincent went back to their room. They at once fell back into each other's arms. Tifa's lips met his again, with just as much passion and desperation as before. He slid his human hand under her shirt, allowing it to dance across her soft skin.

Tifa gasped and took a step back. Her eyes darted away from Vincent who stood with his arms still stretched out toward her.

He furrowed his brow in hurt and confusion. "Tifa?"

She drew her hands up to her chest and turned away from him. "We can't…"

"Oh…" His excitement began to dwindle. "You're still hurt?"

Although that was one reason, there was more to it than that. "Yes, but I think maybe we shouldn't for a while anyway."

Vincent sat down on the edge of the bed, a knot welling up within his stomach. "You're scared of me, aren't you?"

She remained glued to her spot, although she wanted to go to his side. "It's not that I'm scared of _you_, but I'll need some time to get over what Chaos did."

Vincent felt a sting within his heart. "I'm sorry that happened, I didn't mean to lose control of him like that."

"I know, Vincent." She finally managed to move and she sat next to him. "It wasn't your fault, but there was a time in my past when something else happened to me, and it just brought back some memories…"

The thought that someone else had done something similar to her in the past filled Vincent with a protective ferocity. "Who?"

"It was just a bunch of boys back home in Nibleheim. It happened when I was fourteen, right after my mom died." Tifa rested her head against his shoulder.

"You can tell me if you want." Vincent placed his human arm around her, wishing to take all the pain away from her.

"They pulled me down an alley and… you know." Tifa felt a burn in her eyes.

"God Tifa, I'm sorry, I didn't know." He brought his metallic hand up and stroked her hair.

"No one did for a long time, except for Cloud. He found me in the alley with them and he drove them off." Tifa felt comforted confessing this to Vincent. "I think that's when I started to love him."

"Because he rescued you?" Vincent asked.

"Yeah, it was kind of one of those knight in shining armor moments. I guess I wanted to believe that he had saved me because he loved me." Tifa sighed. "It never crossed my mind that maybe he had just saved me because it was the right thing to do. That was the day that I started to read a lot more into his actions than may have actually been there."

Vincent didn't know what to say in response. Maybe it was time for him to admit something as deeply personal about his own life to her. "There is something that happened to me when I was about that age too. It was a little different, but maybe it means something."

Tifa looked up into his eyes, finding hurt there. "You can tell me anything."

"All right then." He was recalling a memory that he had almost completely suppressed. "Remember after the first time that we… you know, were together that I said it was only my third time?"

"Yes." Tifa answered quietly. "I remember."

"Well, I guess you've figured out by now that one of the other times was with Lucretia, but the first time…" His voice trailed off as the memories flooded back.

"Go on." She gently urged him.

"Right after I was sent to live in Midgar with my uncle I turned fifteen." Vincent closed his eyes. "He wasn't a very good person. He was a raving drunk and held a deep resentment for the fact that his sister, my mother, had married a Wutain and he was determined not to let me grow up Wutain. But one night he came home from work with some strange woman. My uncle told me to go to my room, that he had gotten me something for my birthday, something that was going to help me not grow up 'a Wutain faggot', I think those were his exact words."

"Oh, that's terrible!" Tifa nuzzled into him. "Talking to a kid like that…"

"Well, it gets worse." He slouched. "I went to my room as ordered, figuring that he was planning on having a good time with his prostitute for the evening. A little while later, the woman walked into my room and shut the door. I didn't know what was going on and I just sat there on the edge of my bed staring. She turned off the light. My room was dark to the point that it was impossible to see. After a while, she came over to me and pushed me back on the bed."

Tifa reached up and wiped away a tear that was trailing down his cheek. "He'd brought her home for you?"

"Yeah." He sighed deeply, trying to find the strength to go on. "She started to undress me. I was too terrified and confused to do anything, and I just laid there. I felt her touch me, and I tried weakly to get away, but she wasn't going to let me go. She told me to be a good boy and give her what she wanted. The only problem was that I didn't really know _what_ she wanted. My life before moving to Midgar had been kind of sheltered. She kept touching me until my body started to react involuntarily. I was sick to my stomach, I knew what was happening was wrong, but there was nothing I could really do. I knew if I did leave my room that my uncle would have beaten me and sent me back in, so I just stayed still. She climbed on top of me and forced me into her. Everything that happened after that was just reflex, and once she realized that I had… finished, she got up and left."

There was such an expression of shame and pain on his face that Tifa knew how much that experience had scarred him. "I'm sorry…."

"I know it's nothing compared to what you went through, but it happened." Vincent's voice trembled just the smallest bit.

"No Vincent! Rape is rape; it doesn't matter how it happens. How could your uncle willingly subject you to that?" Tifa was angry at the very idea.

"He wasn't exactly a nice guy." Vincent almost smiled. "That's probably why I joined Shin Ra a year later, just so I could get away from him. After their basic training and testing, they decided that I had the aptitude to become a Turk, and the rest is history."

"Vincent?" Tifa wiped the last of his tears away.

He looked down at her, seeing the kindness in her eyes. "Yes?"

"Thank you for telling me that. I feel better knowing that you understand." Tifa kissed his cheek.

"I will wait until you're ready again. Don't give it another thought, okay?" He said, pulling her closer.

"Thank you." Tifa let her lips meet his again.


	66. Bonding Time

Guilt's Cost: Part LXVI

Bonding Time

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Author's note: Hey everybody! If anyone is interested, I will be at the following chat room address taking questions or comments about the story on Thursdays at 8:00pm(Pacific), Fridays at 7:00pm, and Saturdays at 6:00pm. So if you have anything to ask or whatever, please stop by. (Thanks Zelda for the group's name!)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/guiltscostsupportgroup/chat

Reno sat with Jaras in the cafeteria. They had finished their respective breakfasts and were watching the other people in the room.

Reno finally broke the silence and turned to Jaras. "So, you don't remember anything at all?"

Jaras shook his head. "Nothing."

"Oh." He was intrigued at how the world's greatest general and warrior could have become this almost nerdish man. "You know, you don't act at all like you used to."

"That was the Jenova Madness." Jaras sighed.

"What?" Reno didn't understand.

"Jenova Madness. People who are exposed to Jenova cells invariably go insane. It's a well documented side effect." Jaras had read enough on the subject to know what he was talking about.

"Oh, so that's why Hojo is such a friggin' nut job, then?" Reno asked.

"In his case, I think he was a little off the beam before he injected himself." Jaras managed a smile.

"Yeah, you're probably onto something there." Reno had another question. "So, how do you feel about Vincent being your daddy?"

Jaras raised his eyebrows. "Fine."

"You mean it doesn't bother you that you got a daddy that looks younger than you?" Reno leaned closer. He knew that if he were in Jaras's place it would creep him out. 

"That's just because Hojo altered his body." Jaras replied simply.

"Yeah yeah, I know that, but still you've got to admit it's some weird shit." Reno took up his coffee cup in his hands.

"Yes, not exactly what I was expecting before I found out who I was. Even so, you can't deny that it's better than having Hojo as my father." Jaras looked down at the table before him.

"Well I don't know about that. Vinny's a pretty far out mother fucker himself." Reno set his cup back down. "But at least you and Angel have personalities unlike daddy."

"What do you mean?" Jaras hadn't yet gotten to know his father well enough to confirm or refute such a statement.

"You know, he's just boring, but in a creepy way. He'll just sit there and stare at you without talking. Makes me think that he's trying to think of creative ways to torture and kill me or something. Sort of acts like he hates everyone and everything." Reno's smile faded.

Jaras didn't know what to say in response and he just stared back. He narrowed his green eyes slightly. He was fairly certain that he shouldn't tolerate such talk about his father.

Reno caught Jaras's glare and raised his hand. "Aw fuck, you do it too. Don't look at me like that!"

Jaras turned his eyes to something else. No one liked the way he tended to stare when he was less than pleased with someone.

Reno seemed to relax a little. He couldn't help but continue to make Jaras's life difficult. "So, how do you feel about your step mom?"

"They are not married, at least, no one has said anything to the contrary." His green eyes seemed to flare slightly.

Seeing that Jaras was going to be disturbed by such a conversation, he pressed on. "That's just a technicality. So let's have it."

Jaras sighed, and met Reno's gaze again. "I like Tifa just fine."

"WRONG!" Reno slammed his fist into the table's surface. "Try again."

"What?" Jaras was confused.

"I heard the little talk in the hallway this morning." Reno smiled wickedly.

Jaras closed his eyes and hung his head. "What the Hell? Does everyone in the entire base know?"

"Yeah, probably." He laughed. "Gossip like a bunch of old ladies. So out with it."

"I would rather not discuss this." Jaras looked away again.

"No way, I'm not letting you just clam up like your daddy would do. Spill it." Reno was really starting to enjoy himself.

Jaras furrowed his brow. "All right, fine. I am attracted to her."

"And?" Reno leaned even closer.

"And what?" Jaras was growing defensive. "That's it. I'm attracted to a woman I will never have, and who I have no right to pursue. She belongs to my father; that is the long and the short of it. I'll just have to move on."

Reno nodded. "Good, I just wanted to make sure that you understood. Besides, if something happened to Vinny, I don't think that he would like the thought of his old lady banging his little boy."

Jaras tightened his jaw. "I would prefer that this conversation end."

"Aw come on, Jaras!" Reno smiled again. "Back in the day you and I used to share all our secrets! You used to tell me everything!"

"I find that unlikely." Jaras was getting annoyed. "There were probably very few words between us if any."

"Yeah fine, you got me." Reno stood up. He knew that Jaras was reaching his limit, and he didn't want to be the first one to piss the new and improved Sephiroth off. It would be better to leave that task to someone else.


	67. Infirmary

Guilt's Cost: Part LXVII

Infirmary

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent and Tifa sat crumpled on the couch together in their room watching television. To say they were watching television might not have been exactly right, mostly they were just sitting together enjoying one another's presence. It had been several hours since Tseng had been taken to surgery and they waited for any news on his condition.

Finally there came a knock on their door. Vincent got up and answered, finding Angel on the other side.

"We just finished with Tseng and Dr. Arlin just told me that you were out!" She threw her arms around him, almost causing him to lose his balance.

"Angel…" Vincent was being crushed in her eager embrace.

"I was so worried that you would never come out!" She said, finally taking a step back.

Vincent understood her excitement at seeing him, but had to ask, "How is Tseng?"

"Oh!" Angel gathered herself. "He's doing well. Dr. Arlin is with him in recovery right now."

"So there were no complications?" Tifa asked, rising from the couch.

"Nothing that we didn't expect." Angel ran a hand through her hair. "The cardiologist that Dr. Arlin had come down was wonderful. Tseng will probably be just fine."

Both Vincent and Tifa gave a collective sigh of relief. 

Angel grinned. "Reno told me that he was going to get you out, but I didn't expect it to be so soon. Actually, I half expected him to back out, but I'm glad he didn't."

"Maybe he isn't _quite _as bad as I thought before." Vincent said, putting his arm around Angel's shoulders.

Tifa came over to where they were standing. "Can we see Tseng?"

Angel nodded. "I don't see why not."

They all went to the infirmary. Tseng laid in a bed toward the back of the room, with Dr. Arlin sitting by his side. The room was quiet except for the sound of the monitors that were hooked up to Tseng. Vincent was the first to approach his brother's side.

Tseng was asleep, his color was still ashy and his eyes circled by dark rings. Vincent reached down and took up his hand. He was unnerved that it was cold.

Dr. Arlin smiled kindly at Vincent. "He's still under the effects of the anesthetic. It will take him a little longer to wake up."

Vincent just nodded in response, tightening his grip on his brother's hand slightly. Tifa came to his side, and sighed. She didn't know what was worse; seeing Tseng in the state he was in, or watching Vincent agonize over him. They were soon joined by Angel, who made her way to the opposite side of the bed. Everyone stood together in silence, each hoping for Tseng's quick recovery.

Some time later, Tseng's eyes finally opened. He began to shiver. "I'm cold…"

Angel started to walk away. "I'm going to get some heated blankets."

Vincent bent down. "Tseng, are you all right?"

His eyes met Vincent's own, dazed. "It hurts, and I'm cold…"

"Angel is getting you something to help you warm up." Vincent replied gently.

"I'm cold…" Tseng allowed his eyes to close again.

Vincent looked at Dr. Arlin who was still nearby. "Is he okay?"

She smiled. "He's just coming out of the anesthetic. He has no idea what he's saying, and he won't remember this."

"He won't?" Vincent cocked an eyebrow.

"Probably not." Dr. Arlin turned back to her paper work.

Vincent smiled at Tifa and then leaned back down to Tseng. "Hey, remember when you were four and your new G.I. Joe figure disappeared?"

Tseng responded with a groan and he opened his eyes again. 

"Yeah, well I threw it into the creek." Vincent had to fight the urge to laugh. "That was revenge for you having set my school bag on fire."

Tifa slapped Vincent in the arm. "That's awful!"

He straightened back up and looked at her. "How could I miss an opportunity to clear my conscious like that? He won't remember and I feel better."

She smiled at him. "Taunting a sick man, wow. Hold me back!"

Angel returned with an armload of warm blankets and she covered Tseng with them. "There, is that better?"

His eyes fluttered open again. "Thanks… Vincent owes me a G.I. Joe. Don't let me forget."

Vincent slapped himself in the forehead. "Damn it, he's going to remember…"

"Serves you right." Tifa shoved him playfully.

Reno sauntered into the room and came to Angel's side. After pinching her in the rear and making her jump, he kissed her cheek. "How's the old man?"

"He's all right." Angel said, giving him a smile.

Vincent suppressed his urge to bristle at the sight of Reno manhandling his daughter. "Reno."

"Hey Vinny!" Reno gave a goofy grin. "How long till Tseng can bail out of here?"

Angel thought for a moment. "He can probably leave the bed in a few days, but he's going to have to take it slow."

"Good, then I got some plans to make." Reno pulled Angel closer.

"What are you talking about?" Angel gave him a sidelong glance. There was obviously something rolling around his brain.

"Woman, we're gettin' hitched. You said you wanted to wait until Vinny showed up, and now he's here along with your retarded brother, so it seems like high time we got it over with." Reno was almost serious.

Angel's eyes grew wide. "You're not joking, are you?"

"Nope." He shook his head. "I wouldn't screw with you like that."

Tifa clapped her hands together. "Oh my God, a wedding?"

Vincent rolled his eyes and sighed. It was becoming clear that Reno really was going to become his son in law, and he wasn't thrilled. "Why me?"

Reno reached across the bed and socked Vincent in the shoulder. "You can't wait, so don't pull the bullshit 'you hate me' act. You're little girl's getting married, so act happy!"

Vincent felt sick. "Hopefully she'll come to her senses between now and then."

"Father!" Angel frowned. "Be nice!"

"Tell him that." Vincent failed to meet her gaze. "He just called your brother retarded."

Angel wriggled from Reno's grip. "You men are going to drive me to drink."

"But baby, I like it when you're drunk!" Reno tried to grab her again.

"Shut up." Angel lost her sense of humor. "Tseng's trying to recover!"

Reno suddenly lost his smile. He knew he was acting a little over the top for a hospital. "Sorry."

"Come on, I'm starving." Angel took his hand and led him away.

Tifa and Vincent remained with Tseng for a little while longer, but then they too left.


	68. Second Plan

Guilt's Cost: Part LXVIII

Second Plan

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The morning after Tseng's operation he called for Tifa and Vincent to come to the infirmary. Despite the crushing pain in his chest he had things to attend to, and if that meant working from his hospital bed, then so be it. As he waited for them to show up he lifted the sheet covering his chest and stared at the line of surgical staples that ran down the length of his chest. Although he couldn't see it from his current position, there was another line of similar staples running down the inside of his right thigh, where the vein they used for his bypass surgery had been harvested. After a while, they arrived and he allowed the sheet to fall back down over him.

"Good, you're here." Tseng said, his voice still harsh and weak.

"What do you want to see us about?" Vincent was curious.

"We need to discuss the plan to get Cloud out of Hojo's hands." Tseng did his best to prop himself up on his pillow, but the pain it caused him was intense. "We need to act as quickly as possible. If we delay it could mean Cloud's life."

Vincent hung his head as he felt Tifa pick up his human hand. "Oh…"

"I know that this is going to be difficult for both of you, but we really do need your help." Tseng could see the pain on both their faces.

Tifa sighed. "We will help, it's not a problem."

"Thank you." Tseng replied knowing that it _was _a problem for his brother. "I know I can't go so I've picked a team to escort you."

"Who?" Vincent asked.

"Ericson, Morris, Reno, and Zale." Tseng knew Vincent wouldn't be delighted at Reno's inclusion.

"And will Angel be making the trip to Midgar with us?" Vincent hoped that she would.

"No." Tseng failed to hide his frown. "I had to remove her from any involvement in this assignment. She was, shall we say, too emotionally invested."

"I see." Vincent nodded slightly in disappointment.

"You will go in three days." Tseng rolled his eyes. "I was going to have you leave in two, but I talked to Reno this morning and he insisted it wait one extra day. Apparently he has something important planned."

Tifa smiled widely. "That's because he and Angel are getting married."

Tseng looked somewhat surprised. "Really? I was starting to think that he was just all talk about that."

Vincent furrowed his brow. "Don't I wish."

An uncomfortable silence fell upon them for a few moments.

Finally Tseng spoke up. "This mission is going to be extremely dangerous. We have been informed that security in the building has been tightened and certainly Hojo is expecting something after Quigley's disappearance."

"Most likely." Vincent agreed. "I suppose this means we will be getting into the building a different way?"

"Correct." Tseng winced in pain. He had refused any drugs today wanting his mind to be clear enough to allow him to work on the mission's plans. "Instead of going from the bottom up, you're going from the top down."

"Surely they would notice a helicopter dropping us on the roof." Vincent sat on the edge of his brother's bed.

"Yes, they would, and that is why you won't be flow in. You will drive into Midgar from the outskirts. Once in town, you will make your way to the roof of the office building across the street. No one will stop you from getting up there since there is no security in that building. From there lines will be fired across to the roof of the Shin Ra building and you will climb over." Tseng had already put a lot of thought into this.

Tifa shuddered; her fear of heights was obvious. "That sounds dangerous."

"Don't worry, you will have a harness on. My men won't let you fall." Tseng smiled. "Once on the roof, you will get into the elevator shafts again from the maintenance bay. Make your way down to the lab level and get Cloud."

Vincent hated to ask, "And how do we get out? Please tell me we're not going through the window again."

Tseng shook his head slightly. "No, they would pick us off of the side of the building like flies. Plus, we have no idea what kind of shape Cloud will be in. You need to get back to the elevators as quickly as possible. Ericson will disable all of the elevators except for the utility lift. It goes all the way to the roof, and you will be picked up by the chopper."

Vincent listened carefully, memorizing every detail. It didn't sound too hard, but certainly Cloud would be guarded. His main concern would be Tifa's safety. "What if Cloud refuses to go with us?"

Tseng was thoughtful for a moment. "If it comes down to it, I would hope that he could be incapacitated by Reno's night staff and forced along. But if that fails, Vincent I want you to kill him."

Tifa gasped. "Kill him?"

Tseng sighed and looked into Tifa's eyes. "I'm sorry, but we can't allow Hojo to keep him. Ask Vincent, death is nothing compared to life in that lab."

Vincent stood back up and put his arm around her. He looked over at his brother. "Why do I get that order?"

"Because I trust you to do it properly. If I need a electrical specialist I ask for Ericson, if I need an assassin, I will ask you." Tseng locked gazes with his brother. "I know it may seem cruel, but you remember what it was like to waste away in Hojo's care."

Vincent hung his head, holding Tifa closer. "Yes, I do. I understand why you want me to do it, and I have no problems _with _doing it, but I don't want Tifa to resent me for it later."

She stepped back from him, her eyes burning. "No, Vincent, I wouldn't be angry with you. It's your job… and I can't bear the thought of Cloud living there like that. We can't let him suffer, but we've got to try to get him to leave with us willingly, and I can do that. I know I can."

Vincent was both touched and hurt by her determination, but Cloud's life was more important than his own feelings. He had to do everything within his power to see that he didn't have to resort to killing the ex-SOLDIER. "I have no doubt in your abilities."

She smiled weakly, knowing that this was not going to be easy for Vincent. "But if it doesn't work, I think Cloud would have liked for you to be the one. He always liked you."

Now Vincent's betrayal of Cloud by taking away his wife bit him. Things would certainly have been a lot simpler if Tifa hadn't followed him seven years ago. He knew that no matter what Tifa said, she still loved him, and she always would. Just as he still held Lucretia in his heart. "It won't come to that."


	69. Reminder

Guilt's Cost: Part LXIX

Reminder

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The next day passed without incident. Vincent and Tifa took some time in the afternoon to go up into Costa del Sol and wander the town. No one saw much of Reno, as he was uncharacteristically busy preparing for his wedding. Angel too was scarce as she was fitted for her dress and other things. Tseng continued to improve after his surgery and was able to sit up. His time was spent finalizing the plans for Cloud's extrication and several informal meetings took place in the infirmary around his bed.

Vincent felt nothing of Chaos within him. Although the demon was still present, he was being suppressed by Vincent's more intense affection for Tifa. Since nothing was taking place to upset him, Chaos remained in remission, awaiting another chance to take over Vincent's body.

That evening as Vincent and Tifa prepared for bed, Tifa noticed something different. As Vincent pushed his shirt from his shoulders, he had his back to her. She rose from where she had been sitting and came over to him, examining his back closely.

Vincent looked over his shoulder at her. "What are you doing?"

"This…" She reached out and traced the border between his human skin and that of the demon. "It looks like it has receded or something."

"What?" Vincent went into the bathroom and looked at his back in the mirror. He saw that Tifa was right. The black hue of the reptilian flesh covered less than before he had gone into stasis, and where it had started to snake down his right arm was apparently normal again. "How can that be?"

Tifa stood in the doorway and stared at him with a smile on her lips. "What do you think is going on?"

Vincent continued to examine himself in the mirror. He remembered feeling _something_ strange when he and Tifa had been reunited after his short stasis. Then again, this could just be a side effect of the stasis itself, as he hadn't displayed any of the demon's skin when he had first emerged from stasis seven years before. "I don't know."

Tifa's optimism didn't fade. "And you haven't felt anything from him since coming out the other day, have you?"

"No." Vincent finally turned away from the mirror. He flicked the light off in the bathroom and went out to sit on the bed.

Tifa came and sat beside him. "Maybe he's going away."

Vincent smiled at her and shook her head. "I doubt it would be that easy. I think it's more of a time off than anything else. I hate to say it, but he'll probably be back. I wouldn't be half surprised if he popped out tomorrow just to take off Reno's head as he walks down the aisle with Angel."

Tifa slapped him in the shoulder. "Vincent!"

"Sorry." He hung his head. "I promise not to kill anyone at the wedding."

"Including Reno?" She joked.

"Yes, including Reno." Vincent laughed to himself. "She could have done worse, right? It's not like she's marrying someone really awful."

"Like who?" Tifa couldn't help herself.

"Let's see…" He was thoughtful for a moment. "How about Cid?"

She hit him again. "Vincent Valentine! Cid is a perfectly wonderful man."

"Except for the time that he kicked me in the back and made me crack my head open on the Highwind." He narrowed his eyes, but allowed the smile to remain.

"Okay, except for that." Tifa shrugged. "You'd have been proud of how he talked to me while you were in stasis. He helped me a lot."

Vincent donned a false glare. "What do you mean by that?"

"He was just _there_ for me." Tifa remembered the night Jaras kissed her and how Cid had taken care of her, but the memory forced her to confess. "Oh, can I tell you something?"

Vincent put his human arm around her shoulders. "Of course."

"Well, after we got back here from Mideel, Jaras kissed me." Tifa hung her head in shame, afraid of Vincent's reaction.

Vincent sat silent for a moment. Her news didn't have the impact that one would have expected. "And?"

"And that's it. I told him that we couldn't do that kind of thing because I love you, and he backed off." Tifa still couldn't look at him.

"You really said that you couldn't because you love me?" Vincent raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." Tifa gave him a quick sidelong glance.

Vincent grinned. "You know, you go around telling people that you love me and they're going to start to believe it."

Tifa's eyes went wide. "You're not mad?"

"No." Vincent flipped his cybernetic hand. "You told him to back off before anything happened, so what's there to be mad about? Now if you slept with him before telling him off I might be a little more concerned."

"Vincent!" She belted him for a third time in the same shoulder. "I wouldn't do that."

"Quit it!" Vincent covered his exposed shoulder with his metallic hand. "You kiss some other guy and _I _get hit?"

"Sorry." Tifa cowered slightly.

He turned and threw both of his arms around her. "No, I'm sorry. Putting myself into that box hurt you, and I apologize. It was just the thought of harming you again… It was all I could think of to do to keep Chaos away from you."

"I know." She nuzzled into his chest. "But that's over now and you're here. We can fight Chaos together. You don't let him harm me, and I won't let him take you from me. Deal?"

He smiled. "Deal."

Tifa finally backed out of his embrace and laid down on the bed. "Hey, Vincent?"

He turned off the lights in the room and laid down beside her. "What?"

"You do remember what you said in Wutai?" She asked.

"What's that?" Vincent looked at her in the darkness.

"The part about asking for me to marry you?" Tifa pulled the blankets around her closer.

Vincent turned his gaze up to the ceiling. "Yes, but I guess with Cloud still being alive that's off."

"No, it's not." Tifa said quietly.

"But technically you're still married." Vincent clenched his cybernetic hand into a fist.

Tifa heard the dull whir of his metal claw powering up and knew that he was disturbed. "No, we're not."

He stared back at her. "What do you mean?"

A brief smile flashed across her lips. "I had Zale tap into the government records computer system and now according to them, that marriage was terminated on the day he tried to kill himself."

"Why did you do that?" Vincent was both pleased and confused.

"Because it was over." Tifa sighed. "And now I'm free to do whatever I wish."

Vincent thought briefly about the few hours that Tifa had disappeared earlier in the day and knew that she had done more than just divorce herself from Cloud. "What else were you up to this morning?"

In the darkness Vincent couldn't see her blush. "Some things. By the way, you're in the wedding party so we have to get you fitted for a tux tomorrow before it starts."

Vincent narrowed his eyes. "I don't remember being invited to be a part of this."

Tifa had to lie. "I just found out this morning when I went with Angel to get her dress fitted. She told me to let you know because Reno was too afraid to ask you."

Vincent picked up on the falseness within her voice. Tifa had always been a terrible liar. "Oh really?"

She knew he was calling her on her deception. "Really."

"You aren't trying to trick me into marrying you tomorrow after Reno and Angel's wedding?" Vincent's heart raced.

"Why would I do that?" Tifa rolled over to face away from him disappointed that he had pegged it.

"Tifa, I asked you to marry me, it doesn't mean that we have to do it now." Vincent looked back up at the ceiling again. As much as he wanted to have her legally tied to his side, he thought that she really should think it over a little longer before making such a serious commitment to him.

"But I want to!" Tifa sat up. "I have been trapped in a marriage with a man that didn't love me for seven years, and now I want to see what it's like to be married to someone that does. I love you, Vincent, and that's good enough for me. Don't you want this?"

He sat up as well. "I… yes, I would like this, but I don't want you to rush into anything you're not ready for."

"Look mister, if there is anything that I have learned since you came and got me out of New Nibleheim, it's that I can no longer ignore my feelings. I did that with Cloud, pretending that I was happy when I wasn't and look where that got me. Now, my heart says to grab onto you and not let go, and that is what I intend to do. I felt what it was like to lose you when you entered that stasis chamber, and that is something I never want to feel again. Besides, I saved you with a blood transfusion so you owe me." Tifa flared with fake anger.

Vincent raised his arms up defensively. "Okay, you seem to have made up your mind. I'll go along with the plan."

"Good, because I spent a lot of time with Angel last night after you fell asleep working this thing out, and she's just as excited as I am." Tifa laid back down. "She would have been pretty upset if you backed out."

Vincent laughed to himself. Never in a million years did Vincent Valentine think he would be getting married. "I just have one question."

Tifa smiled up at him. "What?"

He held his cybernetic left hand out in front of him. "Where am I supposed to wear a wedding ring? It's just going to fall back off."

"You do have a perfectly good right hand, you know." Tifa had already thought of this as well. "And I already managed to figure out your ring size when you were sleeping."

The fact that she had gotten away with so much the night before was unsettling. "Is there anything else that you might like to let me know you did last night?"

Tifa laughed. "Go to sleep, Vincent. You have a big day ahead of you."


	70. Wedding Day

Guilt's Cost: Part LXX

Wedding Day

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent awoke in the morning finding that Tifa was gone. She left a note on the dresser saying that she had to go take care of some last minute arrangements and that Reno would be by to get him.

He sighed and dropped the letter back onto the dresser. Why of all the people in this base she felt the need to send _Reno_ for him he did not know. He dressed in the same outfit that Reno had gotten him for earlier. After brushing his hair he looked around for something to tie it back with. The scarf that he had last remembered tying to his gun was missing and he searched the room for it. Tifa's pack was sitting open in the corner and the color red caught his eye. He went over and reached into the bag, pulling out the crimson strip of fabric. Vincent couldn't help but smile to himself as he realized that she had taken it when he had gone into stasis.

"You are a sentimental creature aren't you?" Vincent sighed as he secured it around his head.

A knock came at the door and Reno let himself in. "Hey Vinny."

"Reno." Vincent replied, not showing much excitement in his voice. "What's the plan?"

"We got to go up to town and hit the tux shop. I need to pick up mine and we'll get one for you at the same time. I figure if we leave now that we'll be able to get to the place early enough that we can say howdy to our guests." Reno picked up Tifa's note from the dresser and began to read it.

Vincent snatched to note from his hand. "Where is this thing happening? Please tell me it's not in a church."

"No way." Reno smiled to himself. "I got us a nice little place being loaned to us by one of those old men's groups. And there will be a Justice of the Peace doing the honors. I wasn't about to have some big old religious wedding, no way."

"Good." Vincent was relived and it showed.

Reno cocked an eyebrow. "I'm sure I could find some one of your Buddhist persuasion if ya' wanted."

"No, the judge will be just fine." He knew that Reno was just trying to get a reaction from him and Vincent wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"All right then, let's go." Reno opened the door and stepped out.

As they walked, Vincent thought of some questions. "How is this going to work?"

Reno rolled his eyes, wishing that Tifa would have let Vincent in on this earlier so they could have come to the rehearsal the night before. "It goes down like this. I'm standing up there with the Justice, and you will be walking Angel down the aisle so you can give her away to me, or some such stupid thing. Then you just stand over to the side, and Tifa comes on down the aisle with whoever in the Hell she has giving her away. Once both happy couples are up there, you, me, Tifa, and my baby, then the Justice gets to marrying us all. Me and Angel do our schpeal, and then it's Tifa and your turn. After that, we get drunk. Got it?"

Vincent nodded. This was all just a little too sudden for him, but he would manage. If wearing the tux didn't kill him, he would make it through the rest just fine. He worried in silence that Tifa would change her mind.

Reno and Vincent got to the tux shop just as it opened. Vincent had to subject himself to the humiliation of being fitted and stood rigid while the tailor sized him up. Reno and him were both taken to fitting rooms and given their outfits to try on. Vincent donned his quickly and once convinced that it fit took it off again hurriedly. 

Afterward, they made their way to the wedding hall and went inside. There was a room in the back where all the men involved were gathered getting ready. Vincent was surprised at the number of people milling around.

"How many people did you manage to invite in just a few days?" Vincent asked.

Reno shrugged. "Well Hell, I don't know. Just everyone that I could think of that might like to see the four of us do this thing."

"Like who?" He narrowed his eyes.

Reno thought for a moment. "Cid, Shera, Barrett, Nanaki, Elmyra, all of Angel's girlfriends, Tseng got some of your relatives from Wutai to show up and they brought Yuffie, and just a bunch of other people."

Vincent was impressed. "Oh…"

"Come on, go get dressed." Reno pushed Vincent away from him.

Vincent made his way through the dressing room spotting Cid and Jaras standing together in a corner. "Cid."

The pilot turned to face Vincent. He was chewing on about three pieces of nicotine gum. "Sue, how the Hell are you."

Vincent cringed at Cid's _new_ pet name for him. "Fine, a little surprised, but fine."

Cid patted him on the back. "Aw hell, if I could make it through one of these things, then you can too."

Vincent scoffed. "I have a feeling that you didn't get married in front of a bunch of different people."

"Damned right I didn't." Cid smiled. "Shera dragged me down to the courthouse. It was short and sweet."

Jaras just stood listening to them, expressionless. Vincent noticed the tension coming from his son and stepped closer. "Are you all right?"

Jaras flashed a weak smile. "Yes, it's just that there are going to be a lot of people here today that are going to flip out when they see me." _And I'm not real thrilled about watching the woman I've fallen in love with marry another man, even if it is you, father._

Vincent nodded shallowly; feeling something was not being said. "Yeah, but I'm certain that once they hear the story, they won't care."

Cid sighed. "I've got to go put on my stupid monkey suit, so I'll be back."

Vincent furrowed his brow. "Why do you have to wear one?"

"Cause Tifa asked me to walk her down the aisle to you. I get to play substitute dad. Aren't I fuckin' lucky?" Cid said, picking up his tux from where it was thrown over the back of a chair.

Vincent raised his eyebrows. "Oh, I didn't know."

Vincent found one of the bathrooms attached to the dressing room and locked himself inside. He quickly put on his tux and leaned over the sink to examine himself in the mirror. He untied the red strip of fabric from around his head and tossed it onto the pile with his other clothes. There was a comb laying on the counter and he picked it up and ran it through his hair. Vincent studied himself in the mirror a while longer, regretting the fact that he hadn't gotten his hair cut since coming out of stasis, but he didn't think there would be time for that now. Besides, having short hair again would just remind him of his Turk days, and he didn't need that.

He emerged and tossed his clothes into a corner. Cid too had come back dressed for the occasion. If Vincent thought he looked awkward in a tux, then Cid wearing one was downright unnatural. Cid seemed about ready to crawl out of his skin. Although he had attempted to comb his hair after discarding his flying goggles, it somehow didn't seem to have done much good. Also, Cid had gotten shaved that morning, but already it looked as though he could do it again. Vincent and Cid stood staring at one another, each wearing smiles of amusement.

Reno came up to them after a while also having dressed. Despite the fact that Reno had actually put some effort into his appearance for once, the fact that he was sickly thin caused the tux to hang on his frame in such a way as to make him look shabby. At least his hair was combed and orderly for the first time in his life. "Hey Vinny. Want to go check on the girlie birds with me?"

Vincent narrowed his eyes. "I thought we weren't supposed to do that?"

"You ain't superstitious now, are you?" Reno nudged him.

"No." He replied flatly.

"Then come on." Reno tugged on the sleeve of Vincent's tux.

Cid and Jaras looked on as Reno took Vincent away. Cid couldn't help but laugh. "Who would have thought those two would ever be acting civil?"

Somehow the thought that he was standing with Sephiroth didn't seem nearly as odd.

Reno led Vincent down a narrow hallway. There were two doors at the end of it and Reno pointed to the one on the right. "Yours is in there."

Vincent remained where he was as Reno disappeared through the other door. After a few moments, Vincent cracked open the door and peeked inside.

Tifa sat in front of a vanity with her head in her arms. She was wearing a wedding dress with its long train flared out behind her. Vincent's heart sank as he realized that she was crying, and completely oblivious to the fact that he was there. He caught his breath and stepped back, closing the door again. He put his back against the wall and slid down to the floor. Vincent hung his head, feeling his heart wrenched within his chest. Tifa was having second thoughts, and it killed him.

Reno emerged from Angel's room a little bit later and he almost tripped over Vincent. "Hey, what are you doing?"

Vincent looked up at him with his red eyes. "Tifa… I don't think she's going to go through with this."

Reno took a deep breath. "The Hell she isn't."

Vincent failed to grab Reno before he turned and disappeared into Tifa's room.

Reno found Tifa exactly as Vincent had seen her, sitting before the mirror crying. He pulled a stray chair from the corner of the room and turned it backwards next to her before straddling it and sitting. "Tifa?"

It took her several minutes to gather herself enough to look up at him. "Hi Reno."

"What's going on?" Reno reached out and picked up her hand.

Tifa looked down to where their hands met and stared. It wasn't Reno trying to get in a cheap feel; it was the grasp of a concerned friend. She knew that he was here to help. "I… I feel so guilty…"

Reno cocked his head. "And why the Hell is that?"

"Because…" Tifa picked up a tissue from the vanity and wiped her eyes. "Cloud…"

"Oh come on, Tifa!" Reno smiled briefly. "You said yourself a thousand times that he didn't love you, so what's the problem?"

"But he's still alive and I ended our marriage without even getting the chance to talk with him one last time. If I hadn't run out of the house after I thought he killed himself so quickly to go with Vincent…" She broke down again.

"Come on, little lady!" Reno scooted his chair closer. "You gave him how many years of you life? And he repays you by never acknowledging your presence? How many chances does that bastard deserve?"

"But I just ran away…" Tifa looked into Reno's eyes, searching for any comfort there.

"And he deserved that." Reno brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it. "Do you still love him?"

"No." Tifa shook her head slightly. "I just feel guilty."

"Tifa, Cloud has no one to blame for where he is or how he got there but himself." Reno reached out with his free hand and brushed back some of her hair from her face. "We can get him from that lab tomorrow, but you don't honestly think that he's suddenly going to want to make a go of that sham marriage you had with him, do you?"

She just shook her head again.

"So do you think it's fair to beat yourself up with guilt after all you already went through for him?" He asked.

"I… I guess not, but…" Tifa dropped her gaze to the floor.

"Then but nothing." Reno furrowed his brow. "Cloud tried to kill himself because he was with you instead of Aeris. That sucks, I know, but it isn't your fault and you did everything in your power to try and make him forget. Now there's another man out there who will kill himself if you _don't_ marry him. Which of those two bastards do you think you deserve to be with?"

Tifa was taken aback by his words. To hear such a statement come from Reno was deeply moving. "Vincent loves me so much…"

"Yes, I never thought the creepy son of a bitch could be so lovey for someone, but he is. And for whatever reason, you seem to be pretty fond of him too." Reno kissed her hand again.

Fresh tears came to her eyes. "I do love him. But it's different than with Cloud…"

"Let me tell you a little something I've actually learned over the years." Reno slouched down into his seat. "Every time you love someone it's different. I never said anything about this to anyone, but I loved Elena more than anything in the world. To tell you the truth, she was the first girl I ever felt that way for, and after Shin Ra killed her, it felt like my heart was ripped out. I couldn't eat or sleep for months, it was the worst thing that ever happened in my life. I swore that I would never allow myself to feel that way for someone else; not wishing to be hurt again. But then after I met Angel… God damned, I couldn't help it, I fell in love with her. I tried not to, but there was nothing I could do. It would seem that one's heart and brain don't talk to each other so well. And although I can say that I love Angel with every fiber of my being, I _don't_ feel the same way I did for Elena. And if God forbid something ever happened to Angel and I started to have feelings for another woman, I know I would feel different again."

Tifa stared into his eyes, seeing the tears that begged release.

"But enough about me. Like I said, your heart and brain have nothing to do with one another, so tell me Tifa, what does your _heart _say to do? If it says wait to see Cloud before committing yourself to Vincent, then do that. Vinny's a big boy, he'll wait for you, but if your heart says screw Cloud and marry Marilyn Manson, then do that instead." Reno let her hand go. "So which is it? Cloud or Vinny?"

Tifa smiled. "Vinny."

"Then marry him." Reno stood up from his chair.

Tifa also stood and put her arms around him. "Thank you, Reno."

He returned her embrace. "Think nothing of it. Now get your sloppy self cleaned up so we can get this show on the road, all right?"

She stepped back, still smiling. "Yes, Sir."

"Okay, see you in a bit." Reno turned and left the room.

Vincent was still in the same place Reno had left him. He looked up with sad eyes. "She doesn't want to do it, does she?"

Reno smirked. "You're a fucking pessimist, you know that?"

Vincent blinked up at him. "Yeah, so?"

"So she, for whatever reason, is going through with it, so get your ass up." Reno extended his hand.

Vincent took it and stood. "Really?"

"Yes really." Reno stared to walk away. "Come on you sorry son of a bitch, we got a wedding to go to."

Reno took Vincent back down the hall to where all the guests were now being seated. Barrett and Nanaki saw Vincent standing with Reno and left their seats and came over.

Barret's face brightened upon seeing Vincent. "Hey man, how's it goin'?"

Vincent smiled back. "Fine, I'm glad to see you're here."

Nanaki sat and flicked his tail. "Cid called us after talking to Reno and told us that he was picking us up for this. We had no idea about Cloud and Tifa splitting up, or that you and Tifa were now together. It seems odd."

"Tell me about it." Vincent scoffed.

Reno laughed. "Vinny getting married _is _funny."

Nanaki narrowed his amber eyes. "You're one to talk. I never figured that you would crawl back into our lives. But Cid filled us in on all that has happened during the trip over and we…understand."

Barrett tossed his head. "An' what's this bout Sephiroth being here?"

Vincent nodded. "He is here. Certainly Cid told you about what happened to him as well?"

"Yeah, but I want to see the fool for myself." Barrett rattled his gun arm at his side. "Make sure he don't try somethin' stupid."

Nanaki purred in agreement. "Yes, it will be hard to think of him in terms other than an enemy."

Vincent raised his eyebrows. "He is a much different person now."

"Cid told us he's your boy. How come you didn't ever say nothin' bout that?" Barrett asked.

Vincent shrugged. The fact that he could discuss this freely was still new to him. "If he was your kid would you have said anything?"

"He has a point." The lion purred. "If one of my cubs tried to destroy the world I would not be quick to claim him."

Vincent's eyes grew wide. "Cubs? I thought you were the last of your kind?"

Nanaki grinned widely. "Apparently we were wrong. She is back home in Cosmo Canyon, expecting our litter any day."

"Congratulations." Vincent patted the cat on the head.

"Thank you." Nanaki was proud of his wife and his soon to be children. "And congratulations to you on your daughter and newly rediscovered son. Tell me, will you and Tifa be having any kittens, I mean, children of your own?"

The vision of the demon child tearing its way from Tifa's body flashed through his mind, and he shook his head. "I no longer can have children."

"Damn foo' Hojo done messed with that too?" Barrett asked, growing angry.

Vincent dropped his gaze. "Yes."

Barrett sighed. "That's too bad. Man, I don't know what I would do without my Marlene… I guess she ain't really mine, but still."

Vincent looked back up. "How is she by the way?"

"Real good." He smiled with pride. "Eleven years ol' now. We moved to Cosmo Canyon with Nanaki and his wife. Marlene stayed behind to help Santicia."

"Santicia being your wife?" Vincent asked Nanaki.

"Correct." His amber eyes shone with pride. "You will come meet her some time, I hope?"

Vincent smiled and nodded. He knew that Tifa would love such a trip. "We most certainly will."

Jaras, now also dressed up came to them. "We are ready to start."

Barrett and Nanaki stared at him agog.

Jaras saw their expressions and looked at Vincent. "Are they who I think they are?"

"Yes." Vincent said. "Barrett, Nanaki, this is Jaras."

Barrett extended his hand. It was trembling slightly. "Nice to meet you."

Jaras accepted the handshake, forcing himself to smile. "I beg your forgiveness for my past actions, even though I do not remember anything."

Nanaki flicked his tail. "We will not hold anything against you. Those times are past."

"Thank you." Jaras nodded. "But again, they are ready to start, so if you will take your seats."

Barrett and Nanaki retreated back to where they had been before. Reno turned to Vincent. "Okay, go over by the door and wait for Angel. I've got to go up there and stand with the judge."

Vincent silently agreed and made his way to the entrance. He spotted Tseng sitting near the front of the room in a wheel chair with Dr. Arlin at his side. He was happy that his brother could make it.

Jaras came back next to him, with one of Angel's female friends at his side in a bride's maid's dress. Some recorded music began to play and Jaras took the girl's arm and headed up to where Reno was standing with the judge. He and the girl made their way to stand on either side of the Justice.

Vincent felt someone touch his arm and he looked to see Angel at his side. Her dress was similar to Tifa's, and her long hair had been pulled up. She was absolutely beautiful. "Hi."

She smiled. "Are you ready?"

He looked at her, admiring how calm she seemed to be. "I think so."

The music playing changed, signaling that it was time for him to lead her out. As he made his way down the aisle all those in attendance rose. He scanned the crowd as they passed spotting Yuffie, Shera, and several Wutains smiling back at him. When he got Angel to Reno's side, the judge spoke.

The Justice was an impressive man, and he stood before them in a black suit. "Who gives this woman to be married to Reno Sparks?"

Vincent almost laughed. _Angel's last name is going to be Sparks? What sort of stupid name is that? Reno Sparks? Aren't those both towns in Nevada? What were his parents thinking?_

Angel was worried by Vincent's failure to answer and she nudged him.

Vincent snapped back to the present and cleared his throat. "I, her f… father do."

Angel kissed Vincent's cheek before turning to face Reno. Then the music started again and Tifa emerged, clinging to Cid's arm. Cid brought her up to Vincent's side perhaps a little faster than he should have, but he hated being in front of crowds and wanted to get this over with.

The judge faced Tifa and Cid. "Who gives this woman to be married to Vincent Valentine?"

Cid regretted having tossed another piece of gum into his mouth before coming out here and he swallowed it hastily. "I, her friend do."

Tifa hugged Cid briefly before coming and taking Vincent's cybernetic hand in hers. Cid quickly went over and sat next to his wife.

Vincent heard nothing as the judge began to address them, as he became lost in his own thoughts. He couldn't believe that Tifa had agreed to go through with this after all that had happened. He gave little notice to Reno and Angel exchanging vows, and when the judge turned to him and Tifa, he was startled out of his reverie.

"Do you, Vincent Valentine take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" The Justice asked simply; the ceremony having been made short and too the point per Reno's request.

"Yeah… I do." He felt his heart racing within him as though it would burst.

A quiet snicker ran through the crowd at the tone of his reply.

The judge turned to Tifa, and asked the same.

"I do." She said without any hesitation.

Jaras reached out and handed Tifa and Vincent their respective rings.

"Place the ring onto Tifa's left hand and repeat after me." The judge ordered. "With this ring, I thee wed."

Vincent slipped the ring onto her slender finger. "With this ring… I thee wed."

The judge nodded and turned to Tifa. "Place the ring onto…" his eyes went wide as he noticed the state of Vincent's left hand.

Tifa looked at the judge and whispered. "Just say _right_ hand."

He nodded and continued. "Place the ring onto his _right _hand and repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed."

Tifa smiled and slid the ring onto him. "With this ring, I thee wed."

"If anyone here has reason to see these two not joined in marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace." The judge scanned the room.

The only sound was that of Jaras catching his breath. Tifa glanced at him noticing that his eyes were dimmed with tears. Her heart went out to Jaras, but she turned immediately back to Vincent. Nothing and no one would keep her from this.

"Then with the power vested in me, I pronounce both couples man and wife. You may kiss your brides." The judge closed the small black book he held in his hands.

Vincent turned to Tifa and looked into her eyes, finding them filled with tears of happiness. He closed his eyes and felt his lips meet hers. She parted hers, welcoming him in. Vincent's arms closed tightly around her and he lifted her from the floor. And once more, Chaos's evidence upon his body ceded just a little more back to Vincent.

When he finally put her down and opened his eyes, they turned to see Reno _still_ making out with Angel. They didn't finally separate until the recessional music started to play. Angel and Reno walked away together first, and then Tifa and Vincent followed.


	71. Reception

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXI

Reception

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Personal Aside: Zelda, you been spyin' on me when I write? You are too good!

Everyone moved into another room in the building for the reception. Vincent, Tifa, Reno, and Angel were seated at the head table along with Jaras and Angel's maid of honor.

The guests quickly filled the other tables. The meal served was substantial, but Vincent was unable to eat as his nerves were still shot. He simply sat smiled at Tifa as he watched her.

After awhile, Cid was urged to the front of the room to make a toast. Why he was getting this honor he did not know, and he reluctantly went up with his glass of champagne.

Tifa giggled to see Cid standing there so uncomfortable.

Cid cleared his throat. "Well, uh, who would have guessed that either Vincent or Reno would ever do this?"

A snicker went through the room.

"But, they're both good guys I guess, and they couldn't have found two nicer girls." Cid raised his glass briefly before taking down its contents in their entirety.

Shortly thereafter, music started to play and Reno led Angel out onto the dance floor. Vincent remained glued to his seat.

Tifa looked over at him. "You're supposed to get out there and cut in. You are her father."

"I don't dance." Vincent shook his head.

Tifa grabbed his cybernetic arm and pulled. "Well too bad, cause you have to at least go out there with me."

Vincent allowed her to drag him out. She took his human hand in her left one and placed the other behind his back. He swayed with her slowly to the music feeling terribly self-conscious as he did so.

Tifa whispered into his ear after a few moments. "Now go get Angel away from Reno. It's your job."

Vincent nodded and left Tifa's side. Fortunately he had drunk enough champagne to take his edge off. He strode over to Reno and Angel and jabbed Reno in the back with a talon. "Hey."

Reno turned and grinned. "What, is this the obligatory 'daddy cuts in' bit?"

"Apparently." Vincent sighed.

"Fine." Reno stepped back. "I'll go smooch on Tifa for awhile."

Vincent took Angel into his arms. "This whole event doesn't seem to be rattling Reno at all."

"Nothing gets to him." Angel laughed. "You'd think he'd been through a million weddings by the was he's acting."

Reno made his way to where Tifa was standing and took her hand. "Wanna dance with a real man?"

Tifa beamed. "And who would that be? Cid?"

"Is being married making you stupid?" Reno smiled as she took his hand. "I'm all the man this room needs."

Reno took her to the middle of the dance floor and put his arms around her. "So, how ya' been?"

"Better now." Tifa stared into his eyes. "Thanks for talking to me."

"Think nothing of it." Reno swung her around. "It's the least I could do."

After the song ended, Vincent spotted the table where Tseng was and he went over. There with him were several of his Wutain cousins along with their aged aunt.

Vincent bent down and kissed his aunt's cheek. "Yokazi, I am pleased that you could come." The words slid off his tongue in Wutain easily.

"I would not have missed it for the world." Her ancient eyes shone.

Vincent talked briefly with his other relatives before going to Tseng's side. "Brother, how much do I owe you for this?"

Tseng raised a hand. "No, Tsuvati. This wedding is my gift to you. Think nothing about repayment."

"But this must be costing a fortune." Vincent looked around the room.

"It's nothing I can't handle." Tseng smiled.

Vincent then saw that Tifa had made her way to the table where Barret, Nanaki, Cid, Shera, Elmyra, and Yuffie were sitting. He joined them and landed in the chair to Tifa's right.

Shera smiled. "Vincent, how's married life treating you?"

"So far, so good." He replied.

Elmyra seemed sad, but was trying to hide it. "Your daughter is so beautiful. Reminds me of Aeris in a way."

Vincent grew uncomfortable and shifted in his seat. "Mrs. Gainsbourgh, there is something that you should know about Angel."

Everyone at the table grew quiet. Tifa knew what was on his mind and placed a hand on his knee under the table, trying to encourage him.

Vincent smiled weakly, and stared at the table directly in front of him. "Hojo used Aeris's genetic material along with mine to create her."

Several jaws dropped, and Cid leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, annoyingly allowing his gum to snap between his teeth.

Elmyra's eyes grew wide. "Is that so?"

"Yes." Vincent looked up at the older woman. "Angel is Aeris's daughter too."

Barret, Nanaki, Yuffie, and Shera just looked on in amazement.

"I… I would like to talk to her, if I may." Elmyra said in a hush.

Tifa rose up from her seat. "Come on, I'll introduce you."

Elmyra and Tifa left the group. Vincent thought for a moment that he should go with them, but part of him felt odd being with Elmyra when the subject of Aeris would be raised. Somehow he didn't feel like he should be a part of that.

Tifa took Elmyra to where Angel was sitting and introduced them. "Angel, this is the woman that raised Aeris."

Angel's face brightened. "You are her adoptive mother? I have wanted to meet you for some time. Please, sit."

Elmyra took the seat next to Angel. "I knew there was something similar between you and my daughter. I wish I had known about this sooner. In a way, I guess I'm your grandmother."

Angel smiled widely. "I never would have dreamed of having a grandmother, this is wonderful."

The old woman's eyes filled with tears as she saw so much of her dead daughter in this girl. "I can't believe this…"

Tifa knew that she needed to leave them alone to talk and she drifted over to where the cake was sitting in the corner. She dared to let one finger brush into the frosting at the base of it and then brought it to her lips for a taste. No sooner than she put it in her mouth did she hear someone come up behind her. She spun around, embarrassed to know that someone had watched her.

"Jaras…" She said, folding her hands behind her back.

His cheeks were flushed red as he had poured back half a bottle of champagne already. Jaras swayed slightly where he stood, his head feeling light. "Tifa."

"Are you having a good time?" She smiled, amused to see the great Sephiroth tipsy.

He pointed over to the table where Vincent sat with the others from AVALANCHE. "Been tryin' to avoid that lot. Don't think they like me so much, different man or not."

Tifa had to bite her bottom lip to keep from laughing. His words were slurred, and his movements exaggerated, but she couldn't blame him for not wanting to face those he had pointed to. "They won't hold anything against you."

"I'd just feel better if I stayed over here away from them." His lips fluttered in a short smile. "Wedding was nice."

"I thought so." Tifa nodded in agreement.

"I even was good and didn't say nothing when that whole 'speak now or hold it' part came up." Jaras shook his head. "I know you said that it'll never happen, but…"

She couldn't believe he was bringing this up at her reception. "Jaras, I think you might have had a little too much to drink."

He narrowed his eyes. "Drunk or not, I know what I feel, and I can't just start pretending that I never felt anything for you."

The fact that he made it seem like they had known each other forever was unnerving. "Jaras, what is it? How can you be so attached to me after just a few days?"

He shrugged and grabbed onto the edge to the table next to him. "I never even was the slightest bit interested in any girl in Mideel. But from the moment I first saw you walk into that shop, I couldn't get you out of my mind."

Tifa's heart went out to him, but she didn't know what to do. Maybe he just remembered her on some subconscious level, and he was mistaking that for love. "Jaras, please don't do this! You're drunk, and I think you should go sit down."

"Don't pass my feelings off for drunkenness, or whatever else you want to diminish them with." He hung his head, starting to feel sick. "I love you, that's all there is to it. I don't know why or how it could happen so quickly, but I do. Problem is, you're married to my father, and you don't like me."

"I like you Jaras!" She furrowed her brow. "But I don't feel the way you do, I'm sorry."

Jaras felt his eyes start to burn, and the thought of anyone in this crowd seeing him cry was too much and he turned and left the building. He didn't quit walking until he had locked himself back into his room in the base.

Back at the table Vincent was at, Barret had taken the stage. "So, why'd you end up goin' for Tifa?"

Vincent shrugged. "I just couldn't get her out of my mind after AVALANCHE split up."

"Damn man, I never woulda' guessed." Barret shook his head. "And Tifa leavin' Cloud…"

Nanaki flicked his tail. "I think this took all of us a little by surprise. You humans never cease to amaze me."

Cid tossed a third piece of gum into his mouth. Somehow no one had yet noticed he hadn't had a cigarette all day. "So Red, where'd you find this girl you got expecting your cubs?"

His amber eye narrowed. "I was wandering the desert around the canyon and happened across a cave in an outcropping of rocks that I had never seen before. When I went to investigate, I found Santicia living there. She was just as surprised to see me as I was her. After the decimation of our race, her mother had hid her out in the desert and raised her there in solitude. Just as I thought I was the last of my kind, she thought the she was as well. Fortunately, we found ourselves to be compatible."

Barret laughed. "Damned fool comes running into the house we share with his new found woman, happier than anyone'd ever seen him."

"Red excited?" Cid smiled. "I would have liked to see that."

"You must admit that realizing that you aren't alone in the world is a very special event." Nanaki purred.

Vincent in a strange way knew how true the cat's words were. He too knew what it was to be alone; thinking that there was no one else left for him. Tifa had made that pain disappear, and for that he was grateful.

The reception went on for hours, and Tifa and Vincent found themselves making the rounds through the room. Reno and Angel had gotten themselves blitzed and made fools of themselves dancing and singing to the music. As it grew late, Cid and Shera left to fly back home, and shortly thereafter, Yuffie and the other Wutains had to go to catch the airship home. Barret and Nanaki were catching a ride on the same ship. 

With all those they knew having left, Tifa and Vincent retired to their quarters. Tifa squealed in surprise as Vincent whisked her up into his arms as they entered the room. 

Once inside he sat her on the edge of the bed. "Did I at least do that right?"

Tifa giggled. "Yes, you did good."

Vincent slid the coat to his tux off and tossed it over onto the couch. "God, I can't believe this."

"What's that?" Tifa asked as she pulled her veil from her hair.

"That I'm married…to you no less." He almost laughed as his tore the tie away from his neck.

Tifa smiled at him as he stood before her unbuttoning his shirt.

Vincent felt her stare and looked over to where she sat. "Yes?"

"You're really handsome, you know that?" She cocked her head.

Vincent blushed. No one had ever said that to him in sincerity. "No..."

"Yes you are." Tifa slipped off her shoes. "I wish you didn't always hide yourself away beneath the cloak and scarf."

"Certainly you don't want me to wear a tux all the time." Vincent glanced at her as he threw his shirt over to lay beside his coat.

"Well no, but you do look really good dressed up." She sighed. "I bet you were a damned good looking Turk. You know, with the suit and all."

He scoffed. "I looked like a dork."

"I bet you didn't." Tifa rose from the bed and went over to him. "Was your hair this long then?"

Vincent shook his head. "No, it was shorter. It's only this long from growing while I was in stasis, and the fact that I haven't cut it since."

Tifa ran her hands through his raven tresses as she pressed her body against his. "You would be handsome either way, but I do like this."

Other than today, Vincent had never thought of cutting it and he knew he wouldn't anyway. "I've gotten rather accustomed to it."

Tifa suspected that he just kept it long as it was one more thing to hide behind. "Vincent?"

"Hmm?" He said, looking down into her eyes.

"I'm ready." Her voice was barely a whisper.

Vincent's heart jumped. "B… but it's only been a week…"

She dropped her gaze away. "It's fine."

Vincent couldn't see how she could be healed well enough yet to bear making love to him. "I just don't want to hurt you."

"You won't." There was slight trepidation in her tone.

"Tifa, you can't yet." Vincent held her close to him and rested his cheek on her hair. "I know that it would take longer than that to heal."

"But we're supposed to…" Tifa clung to him.

"This isn't the Middle Ages." Vincent smiled. "It's not like we have to hang our sheets out the window in the morning to prove it to the village. We can wait. I love you, and it's not that important."

Tifa nuzzled into his reptilian chest, relieved at this reprieve. Truthfully she knew that she wasn't up to the challenge, but still she had felt obligated to offer, being that it was their wedding night. Vincent was so aware of her and considerate. These were the very things that she had missed out on being married to Cloud and she rejoiced in Vincent's companionship.

Once they were finally freed of their wedding clothes, Vincent and Tifa slipped into the bed together. Tifa laid on her side with him spooned up against her, his cybernetic arm draped over her waist. They both slept soundly that night, never giving a thought to what might await them tomorrow.


	72. Morning After

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXIII

Morning After

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

There came a knock at Vincent and Tifa's door. Vincent sat up and looked at the clock, seeing that it was five in the morning. The knock came again and he got up. He picked up his boxers from the floor and pulled them on before answering.

He opened the door a small way and looked out into the hall, seeing that Reno was there. "What's going on?"

Reno was clearly exhausted after only getting three hours of sleep, and he ran a hand through his hair. "Time to go."

Vincent squinted in groggy confusion. "Go?"

"Come on Vinny, it's too early for the stupid act." Reno flipped a hand. "It's time to go to Midgar."

Vincent blinked a few times. "Already?"

Reno handed a large bag to him. "Here's what you get to wear. Go get Tifa and get ready. Meet us up on the airfield."

"Okay." Vincent took the bag and closed the door. He had no idea that they were going to be leaving so early and he flipped on the light.

The sudden brightness woke Tifa and she covered her eyes with her arm. "What are you doing?"

"Time for us to get ready to leave." Vincent said, landing heavily on the edge of the bed. "Reno brought us somethings to wear for the mission."

Tifa yawned and crawled over to where Vincent was sitting. She sat behind him and placed her arms around his waist. With her cheek resting against his right shoulder, she closed her eyes and sighed. "Can't we just wait a little longer?"

He brought his human hand up to cover where her two hands clasped over his middle. "I'm afraid not."

Tifa held him a little tighter. "Vincent?"

"Yes?" He turned his head slightly to look back at her.

"I just want you to know that no matter what we find when we get there, that I love you, and I will never leave, no matter what Cloud may do or say." She kept her eyes closed.

He turned in her embrace and kissed her, but said nothing. 

Tifa stared into his eyes, searching for any response there. "You don't believe me, do you?"

Vincent sighed. No matter how much he loved her, there was doubt in him that she wouldn't have at least some sort of reaction upon seeing Cloud. After the pain that he had suffered at Lucretia's hands, there would be nothing in the world that could surprise him. "I love you, Tifa."

She flashed a quick smile, but her eyes remained sad. "You didn't answer my question."

He didn't want to have this conversation, and he slouched slightly. "Tifa, I don't want you to promise me something that you might come to regret later."

She furrowed her brow and let go of him. "You think that I would leave you after marrying you?"

"I didn't say that." Vincent got up. "But you don't know how you're going to feel when you see him. I don't want you to feel like you have to stay with me if you still feel something for him. That's all."

Tifa didn't know whether to be hurt or touched by his words. "Vincent, I will not leave you."

"I don't think that you will." He turned back to face her. "But I just want you to know that if something happens, that I will understand. No matter how much it hurts me, I _will _understand."

Tifa hung her head. She realized that he didn't have real doubt in her, but he was expecting the worst after what he had been through in the past. "Vincent, I've said it before and I'm going to say it again, and this time I want you to listen. I _am not_ Lucretia. She hurt you so badly that you think that I will too, but I won't. I can promise that to you because I know my mind. I feel no obligation to Cloud anymore other than to get him out of that lab. That is the beginning and the end of it."

Vincent dropped his gaze to the floor. She was right, and he knew it, but he still didn't want her to feel trapped with him. "All right."

Tifa knew that he still was afraid, and got up from the bed. She reached out and took his right hand in her left one. As their fingers entwined, their wedding rings slid against one another. "Vincent, you tell me not to make a promise to you, but that is exactly what happened yesterday. Marriage is a promise."

He looked at their hands, seeing the two gold bands side by side. Her words rang true, and his heart was touched by them. He leaned forward and let their lips meet. Tifa placed her hands upon his shoulders as they kissed, and felt something odd. She stepped back and looked at him. "Vincent!"

He opened his eyes. "What?"

Tifa touched the union of his human and demon skin. "This! It just receded!"

"Oh…" he looked to where she was touching him seeing that it was true. "How?"

"I don't know, but it happened when we kissed. Did you feel anything?" Her eyes were fixed on his changed skin.

"I did, but I didn't know what it was." Vincent smiled faintly. "I felt the same thing yesterday at the end of the wedding, and it's the same thing that I felt after seeing you for the first time after stasis."

"That's it…" Tifa threw her arms back around him. "What were you thinking during those times?"

"That…" Vincent closed his eyes, a little embarrassed. "That I love you, and you love me, too."

She stepped back, her grin widening. "Chaos can't stand that! He can't bear to feel like that, it's killing him."

"You're right…" Vincent almost felt tears in his eyes. "You're right…"

Tifa stared at him as he was struck by the realization. "That's why you haven't had any problems with him since coming out…"

"Because after being in stasis, I came to realize exactly what you meant to me." He looked into her eyes.

In his gaze, Tifa found the first instance of complete happiness and relief in his eyes. "Vincent, you've found the answer."

He stepped away and ran his human hand down his face. It was all too simple. Hojo had made the one weakness of the demon the one thing that he thought Vincent would never figure out. The scientist had thought that Vincent would be so completely destroyed as a man that he would never be able to feel love again. Hojo, for one of the few times in his life, had been wrong. Vincent was filled with complete exhilaration. "Let's get to Midgar and get that son of a bitch."

"Okay, I may not love Cloud anymore, but there's no reason to call him that!" Tifa narrowed her eyes.

"Not Cloud!" Vincent smiled widely. "Hojo."

"Oh…" Tifa looked sheepish. "Of course."

They quickly dressed in the clothes that Reno had dropped off. Their outfits were basically identical to what Vincent had worn on the last mission to the lab. If Tifa thought this was attractive on Vincent, it was even more so on her. The elastic fabric of the top accentuated her figure, and Vincent cocked an eyebrow. 

Tifa caught his expression and smiled. "What? You like this?"

He blushed just slightly and hung his head. "Well, yeah."

She felt giddy at his attraction to her. Even after all they had been through together, he was still on some level very shy, and she loved it.

Vincent went over to where Cid had laid his gun down onto the dresser several days earlier. After messing with it for a moment, he strapped it to his hip and turned to Tifa. "Well, I'm ready."

Tifa came over to him. "Me too."

"All right." He nodded and opened the door. "Let's go."

They headed up to the airfield, finding everyone going assembled near the control tower. Tseng was also there in a wheel chair, Dr. Arlin at his side.

Tseng smiled to see that his brother and Tifa had finally arrived. "Good morning."

Vincent smiled. "Hey."

"I see that Reno got your clothes to you." Tseng reciprocated the smile.

"Yes, thanks." Tifa replied.

"All right then." Tseng scanned the group. "You all know the plan, so I'll make this short. The chopper is going to take you to Kalm. There will be a car waiting for you. Drive into Midgar and wait until nightfall. That way no one will notice as you climb from the office building to the Shin Ra building. From there you know what to do, you have received your orders."

Vincent felt his brother's eyes upon him as the last sentence was spoken. He nodded slightly in response. The order to kill Cloud if he refused to go was fresh in his memory.

Tseng saw Vincent's expression and knew the point had been made. "Okay, go."

Everyone nodded and started toward where the helicopter sat except for Tifa and Vincent. They remained for just a moment longer.

Tifa bent down and gave Tseng a short kiss. "You take care of yourself, okay? Don't go having another attack while we're gone."

"Yes ma'am." Tseng smiled. "I figure I'll get some time to catch up with Jaras while you guys are away."

Vincent also bent down and gave his brother a short embrace. "Take care of Angel too. I know she's really worried about us going."

"I will." Tseng wasn't going to let Vincent know how worried he was about this mission as well. Something didn't feel right to him, but they had to try to save Cloud. There was no other option. "You'll be fine. Now get going."

"Okay." Vincent gave his brother one last smile. "See you in a few days."

With that, Tifa and Vincent ran over to where the helicopter was starting its engines.


	73. Midgar

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXIII

Midgar

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The helicopter made its way toward Kalm. Everyone on board sat in silence, unaccustomed to making these trips with out Angel and Tseng. Vincent and Tifa sat next to the door, holding hands, as they were absorbed in their own thoughts about what was going to happen. 

It was noon by the time they reached the small town. As they got off the chopper, they were each given a small pack which contained their radio headsets, harnesses, ropes and other various supplies they might need for the mission.

Tseng, not wanting his men to have a miserable trip had a limo waiting for them where the helicopter had landed. The six of them climbed inside and it took them toward Midgar. Reno didn't miss the opportunity to raid the mini bar inside the car, and helped himself to a tiny bottle of scotch. 

Vincent looked over at Reno, his expression not one of approval. "I think the last thing that you should be doing before a serious mission is drink."

Reno laughed. "It's going to be hours before we get there. I assure you, I'll be fine."

"How did you ever get to be a Turk in the first place?" Vincent furrowed his brow. "They must have lowered their hiring standards between our generations."

"You think you're so perfect, don't you Vinny?" Reno slouched down, finishing off the bottle. "

"No, but I wouldn't be drinking at a time like this." Vincent felt Tifa's hand grasp his cybernetic hand.

Tifa leaned closer to Vincent. "Don't get angry, all right? He's done this enough times to know what he can get away with."

Vincent sighed and looked at her. "This is just the kind of thing that has always bothered me about him. He never takes anything seriously."

"I think he _is_ taking this seriously. He just doesn't show it like most people." She whispered back to him.

"I wish I could buy that." Vincent smiled.

Reno rolled his eyes and turned to look out the window, deciding that it would be best just to ignore his father in law.

Ericson sat silently studying some large blue print of the Shin Ra building. He always took the time to double-check his knowledge of the building's layout. He needed to know exactly where he would have to be to interrupt the elevator functions within the structure. Morris was next to him, looking over his shoulder at the plans.

Zale was on the opposite side of Tifa from Vincent, and he dug through his pack messing for a time with each item he found within.

It was dusk by the time they reached Midgar. The town was much different from the last time that Tifa had seen it. The plate was still present, but there were no buildings on top of it. The entire surface of the thing was now devoted to solar collectors, which Shin Ra had placed there to produce the city's electricity. Mako reactors had been outlawed after Meteor and the abandoned silos still circled the top of the plate.

The city now sprawled its streets and buildings on the ground below. With all of the town being moved onto the ground level, its boundaries had grown. The Shin Ra building sat in the middle of this urban tangle, and they had been driving through the suburbs of the town for half an hour by the time they reached the business district with it's tall buildings.

Tifa looked out of the window in amazement. "My God, it's so much bigger now."

Vincent gave little attention to it. He had been through Midgar a dozen times over the last seven years, and nothing was new to him. "They abandoned the plate."

"What are all those things up there then?" She asked, her face pressed against the glass.

"Solar panels." Vincent looked over to where she had moved. "Shin Ra makes power up there and sells it to the city."

"At least it's better than Mako reactors." Tifa slid back to her seat.

"The town still reeks of it." He sighed. "The wells down into the life stream are still there inside the old reactors."

"Oh…" She said, realizing that for some reason this conversation was annoying Vincent.

The limo finally came to a stop before the office building next to the Shin Ra building. Night had fallen and they exited the car and went inside. No one in the lobby of the office building paid any heed to the six of them as they made their way to the elevators.

They rode up to the roof and stepped out into the humid night air. From here Tifa realized what Vincent meant when he said the town reeked. The scent of Mako hung heavy in the air, making it seem somehow thicker.

Ericson and Morris went to the edge of the roof that faced the Shin Ra building. The two structures stood the same height and they took out grappling hook guns from their packs. They fired in unison, they guns giving off a low pop as the carbon dioxide that provided the thrust was released from the muzzles. Both hooks took hold of the roof of the Shin Ra building, and it wasn't long before Morris had his harness attached to one of the ropes and he was pulling himself upside down, hand over hand toward the other building. Reno donned his harness and quickly followed along with Zale. Ericson then waved Tifa and Vincent over. They put on their harnesses and radio headsets then attaching themselves to the ropes. 

Tifa looked at Vincent nervously. "Uh…"

He smiled at her and nodded. "It's fine Tifa. You won't fall."

She didn't seem particularly comforted by his words but soon she started her way across.

Vincent went too, reaching the other side a few minutes before Tifa did. He took her hand when she made it across and helped her get untied from the ropes. She fell into his arms once the harness was off, and he could feel her trembling.

"Are you okay?" He whispered into her ear.

She just nodded a little. The climb had scared her terribly, but some of her nervousness was due to facing Cloud shortly.

Ericson was the last one over, and he immediately ran over to a utility hatch on the roof and opened it. He studied it for a moment, before waving to Morris to get the doors to the utility lift opened.

Morris pulled the doors to the elevator shaft open and disappeared inside as he climbed down the escape ladder in the shaft. The others soon were following him downwards. Tifa made her way down the ladder with Vincent having gone just before her. She would look downward every few rungs, only to spot him looking up at her with a faint smile. He knew that she wasn't fond of heights, and he tried to keep watch over her.

Morris reached the lab level and pushed open the lift doors. It wasn't long before they were all standing before the doors to the lab.

Morris examined the group. "Reno and Zale, you stay here in the hall and keep a watch out for any guards. Tifa and Vincent go in and get Cloud. I'm going back up to bar the door of the stairway that leads to the roof. That way no guards can get up there with us when the chopper picks us up."

Reno handed Vincent a pass card to the lab doors. "Here."

Vincent took it and felt a sweat break across his skin. His ingrained fear of entering the lab reared up within him. He slid the card into the slot and heard a click, as the doors were temporarily unlocked. He and Tifa disappeared inside.

Reno and Zale remained outside flanking the door. Reno had his staff opened and electrified, and Zale had his gun in his hand. All seemed quiet for the moment.


	74. Trap

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXIV

Trap

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Reno and Zale remained outside the lab doors in the hallway waiting for Vincent and Tifa to reemerge. They remained ready for any Shin Ra guards that might appear, knowing that they would be more than able to defeat them. But it ended up not being so easy for the ASRIO agents.

After a few moments they heard a commotion from within the lab, but could do nothing to see or help as the doors to it were locked and Vincent had the only pass card with him. Reno grew concerned for what was going on within and kicked the doors in a desperate but futile attempt to get in. The entrance to the lab was bullet and blast proof and there was no way that Reno's physical attempts to get in would succeed.

He pressed the earpiece of his radio. "Vinny? What's going on?"

The only response was silence. Hojo had been sure to activate a radio scrambler in the building when he suspected that ASRIO would be coming.

The doors to the elevator regular elevator shaft were pushed slowly and silently open. Two of the President's personal Turks had been assigned to Hojo for the time being, and had been sitting in the surveillance room waiting for ASRIO's inevitable raid. Upon seeing Vincent and Tifa enter the lab on the security cameras, Rude and Kimo had made their way up to the lab by climbing up the elevator shaft, knowing that the stairwell door would be barred.

With their attention having been turned to the lab door, neither Reno nor Zale noticed as Kimo emerged from the elevator shaft. The large Turk pulled his gun from his holster and moved silently across the hall to the doorway of a maintenance closet. Rude remained in the shaft waiting for Kimo to signal to him that the way was clear. Kimo met Rude's gaze and signaled to him.

_Two men; one with a gun. _Kimo's Turk sign language told Rude._ I'm going to take out the one with the gun, then come out of the shaft._

Rude nodded back in silent agreement. _Fine._

Kimo peered out from his hiding place seeing that Zale and Reno were still looking at the door. He raised his deadly gun and fired one shot.

Reno reacted upon instinct when the gunshot broke the air. He spun and dove behind a drinking fountain as it provided the only cover in the corridor. As he turned and looked, Zale's body hit the floor. He had been struck squarely in the back of the head and had been killed instantly. Reno's Turk instincts kicked in and he didn't allow himself for the moment to feel anything for his friend's death. His night staff was clutched in both his hands and rested across his knees as he huddled in his small shelter. Zale's gun was on the other side of the hall, very much out of Reno's reach and he for once regretted never carrying one of his own. Then again, he was supposed to be facing bumbling Shin Ra guards, not Turks.

Rude emerged from the shaft and jogged to Kimo's side. As he cleared the hall, he saw the body of a blond man lying before the lab doors. Kimo's perfect kill record had not been ruined. Rude looked back down the corridor again, spotting the end of Reno's night staff protruding from behind the drinking fountain. 

He at once knew who was there and he whispered to Kimo. "Get back into the elevator shaft and climb down to the surveillance room. Keep an eye on what's happening in the lab so we know whether to get in there and help or not."

Kimo did not like the thought of leaving his older comrade to face this last intruder alone, but also knew that he was in no position to argue. He gave one quick nod of acceptance and dashed back into the elevator shaft.

Rude pulled out his gun and cocked it. He didn't like the thought of having to kill his old friend, but orders _were_ orders; even if they were from Hojo. "Reno, come on out and make this easy."

His grip on his night staff tightened as he recognized the voice. A cold sweat broke out on his skin knowing that Rude was very good at what he did. "You old fuck, you still a Turk?"

Even if it was as enemies, it was good to hear Reno's voice again, and Rude couldn't help but smile. "Yeah you lazy bastard, you still sleepin' with the enemy?"

"Shut the fuck up. You know what they did to Elena!" Reno's heart was wrenched by the memory.

Rude didn't want to do this. He really didn't. Never one to feel bad about killing anyone, this was a first for him. He peered down the hall.

Reno too was desperate to get a look at his adversary and leaned over to look.

Upon seeing Reno staring back at him, Rude fired off one round.

With his reflexes heightened in fear, Reno jerked back as the bullet harmlessly ricocheted off the side of the cooler. His heart was racing as his mind searched for anyway out of this, but he knew there was little chance of him getting out of this one. "Shit."

Rude pulled back into the doorway. This was going to be like shooting fish in a barrel, and unfortunately, he knew the fish. "Reno?"

"Yeah?" He panted in his worried tone.

"You all right?" Rude asked.

Reno furrowed his brow. "What the fuck do you care? You just tried to shoot me you piece of shit!"

Rude hung his head. Going against his twelve years of Turk training, he was going to defy orders and not kill his target. "Get out here."

The sudden change of tone from Rude caught Reno's attention. There was nothing for him to lose and he slowly leaned forward spotting Rude standing in the corridor with his gun at his side. "Why?"

"Cause you're going to get over here and I'm going to shoot you. You'll fall into the elevator shaft and I won't have anyway of knowing whether you live or die. The fact that we will never find your body down there will indicate the former." There was almost a smile upon his lips.

Reno continued to stare at his old friend from behind the water fountain. "I can't do that, Rude. Vinny and Tifa are still in there."

Rude knew Hojo's plan and shook his head. "There's no reason for you to die too, so come on."

Reno's heart froze. It was silent within the lab for a moment. "They aren't dead…"

A gun shot from within the lab was heard, as well as a pained cry from Vincent. Reno looked back toward the doors fearing what had just happened to his father in law.

Rude cleared his throat. "You better hurry up, Reno. There isn't much time. You don't need to die too."

Reno was not ready to abandon his friends. "No."

Rude watched as Reno stood up with his staff in his hands, and raised his gun. "Why do you always have to be such a stubborn idiot?"

Reno was locked into his stare. He knew there was no way for him to win in an out and out battle with his former Turk comrade. "I can't leave them!"

Rude pealed off one shot, which zipped by Reno's head painfully close. "I'm not screwing with you."

Looking down to the floor where one of his orange locks had fallen Reno swallowed hard. Rude wasn't joking. If he did escape there was always the possibility that he could come back for his friends later. Somehow, despite what he'd heard from within the lab, he _knew _that Vincent and Tifa were still alive. Reluctantly he took a few steps toward Rude.

Rude nodded, letting Reno know not to worry. "Put that staff away."

Obediently, Reno hit the off button and his staff retracted and powered down. He tucked it back beneath his jacket. A few more reluctant steps brought him to before the elevator doors. 

Rude raised his gun again. "Now act like you're shot for the security cameras."

As Rude fired one more dangerously close round, Reno darted into the elevator shaft and grabbed the ladder. He climbed up toward the roof as quickly as he could manage.

From within the surveillance room, Kimo watched, as his boss intentionally didn't hit Reno. Even without the audio of the situation, he knew what was transpiring, and was aware that once Hojo saw this that Rude's career as well as life would be over. As much loyalty as Turks had to Shin Ra, there was deeper and more profound bond between fellow Turks. They watched out for one another, and no one would have been surprised to see as Kimo reached out and hit the switch erasing the tape of what had happened in the corridor outside that lab.

Reno climbed the escape ladder quicker than he humanly thought possible. When he got several floors above the lab, he pushed the doors to the shaft back open. He knew that the utility lift would be up again as per the plan and he ran down the hall toward it. Once before it's doors, he hit the call button and leaned up against the wall, panting through his exertion. Rude shouldn't have let him go, and was sure to be in trouble for it. As the doors opened, he slipped inside and hit the button to the roof. The fact that he had yet to see one regular Shin Ra guard confirmed Reno's worst suspicion. This had been a trap, and he and the others had played into it. Now, at twenty four years of age, his friend Zale was lying dead before the lab doors, and if he wasn't lucky, Tifa and Vincent's bodies were just on the other side.

Once the elevator got him to the roof, Reno ran toward Ericson and Morris who were closer to the ledge. They looked at him in confusion.

Morris was the first to ask. "Where are the others?"

Reno shook his head, trying to maintain his cool in front of the others. "They ain't coming, and we need to get out of here."

Ericson checked his watch. "The chopper will be here in two minutes. But where's everyone?"

"Didn't you pay attention?" Reno yelled despite himself. "I said they weren't coming! Zale's dead and Hojo's got Tifa and Vincent. End of story!"

Ericson and Morris were taken back by the frantic sound of Reno's voice. Neither of them had seen him come unglued like this before. The news that Zale was dead hit them hard and they fell into silence. They didn't need an explanation of what had happened. They were able to realize that they had all been lured here for a reason. It had been too easy up until this point, and they should have seen it coming.

After what seemed far longer than two minutes, the chopper could be heard descending on to the roof. Their ticket off the building had arrived.


	75. Requisition

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXV

Requisition

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

__

Vincent gripped his Death Penalty in his right hand and kept it pressed against his chest as the lab doors closed behind him. He scanned the room for any danger as he and Tifa went forward with the doors locking themselves behind them. He froze in his tracks when his eyes caught sight of Cloud standing toward the back of the room in front of the refrigeration unit. Outwardly, he showed very little emotional response upon seeing Tifa's former husband, but inside he was bitten terribly by the fact that the reports about Cloud's survival had been correct.

Tifa, sensing that something was wrong stepped out from behind Vincent, following his gaze to see Cloud. She brought her hands up to her face and began to tremble. "Oh God, it's true…"

Cloud locked eyes with Tifa and broke into a wide smile. "Tifa!"

She turned back to Vincent, searching for his permission to go to Cloud. He simply nodded, knowing that she had to.

As Vincent watched Tifa run across the room and into Cloud's arms, his heart broke. She seemed for the moment to have forgotten all about Vincent Valentine.

Tifa threw her arms around Cloud, overjoyed to see that he was alive and well. Whether she loved him or not they had been life long friends, and to see him again felt wonderful. "Oh Cloud, I thought you were dead!"

Cloud closed his arms around her tightly. He stared down into her eyes; his face showing no feeling whatsoever. "I am."

"What?" Tifa tried to step back but found herself held forcefully within his embrace. He had no intention of letting her go.

Vincent at once knew that something was wrong, but he was too preoccupied with the sight of Tifa being in Cloud's arms to notice as Porter stepped out from his hiding place and forced the muzzle of his gun into the back of Vincent's neck. Vincent held his arms out before him, allowing his Death Penalty to fall to the floor. He was in no position to resist. His stomach turned as Hojo's retched stench filled the room.

Porter remained behind Vincent with his gun cocked against the other man's neck, ready to fire if he so much as flinched.

Hojo emerged from his hiding place as well near to where Cloud and Tifa were standing. He smiled at Tifa who was struggling futilely in Cloud's arms. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist coming to see Cloud."

Vincent tried to say something, but Porter shoved the gun into his neck harder, cutting off his words. "If the Professor wants to hear anything from you, he'll ask."

Tifa continued to writhe in Cloud's embrace unable to break free. No matter how hard she kicked him he did not respond, but she did manage to turn in his arms to face Vincent. She saw that he was being held at gunpoint and filled with fear for his safety. She screamed. "Cloud, what are you doing? Help us!"

Cloud remained perfectly still, not having any programmed response to her words.

Hojo laughed. "Save your breath, Ms. Lockheart. Cloud is very much dead. That is merely his body being run by a computer. A very intricate robot if you will; its sole purpose was to lure you here."

Learning the truth about Cloud stung her heart. After being given the hope that he was alive after mourning his death, she was cast back into misery. Moreover, she was hurt by the thought of having tortured Vincent with worry over her continued feelings for Cloud. She was brought back to the present as she stared at Vincent. "Why?" Tifa couldn't think of any reason for the scientist to want her. She figured he was after Vincent. "What do you want with Vincent?"

Hojo scoffed. "Please, Vincent is just an added bonus to getting you."

The way he finished his last sentence sent a chill down her spine. "What?"

"You will be the mother to the new Sephiroth." Hojo walked closer to Tifa and touched the side of her face. "I was going to harvest your eggs to create the new child in vitro, but now having you here, I might just be tempted to do this the old fashioned way."

Vincent was so enraged at hearing Hojo say such a thing as he dared to touch her. Chaos raged back to life within his heart, undoing all the healing that had taken place since coming out of stasis. Try as he might, Vincent felt control slipping away and he closed his eyes.

Hojo looked over to Vincent sensing the change in him. "Porter, you may wish to step back. Mr. Valentine has a tendency to get a little nasty when provoked."

The Turk did as ordered and moved away, making certain to pick up Vincent's gun and take it with him. He kept his own weapon trained on Vincent as he moved.

Tifa screamed when she saw the demon's wings once again rip through Vincent's back. "No!"

Hojo was pleased at having elicited the response he had desired from his former subject. "Good Chaos. Show yourself to me."

Vincent placed his hands over his face, trying in vain to drive the demon back into submission. "No… This can't be happening…"

Hojo walked directly up to Vincent. He had no fear; knowing that even if Chaos did erupt and tear him apart that the Jenova within him would allow him to survive. "You _know_ you have been waiting for a chance to kill me."

Vincent collapsed to his knees, struggling in desperation within himself.

Hojo's smile widened. If Vincent would give into the ultimate hatred of attacking him it would allow Chaos to take over completely and permanently. "Surely you need to extol your revenge upon me for the past, and Lucretia."

"No, God damn it… I can't do this!" Vincent smashed his right hand down to the floor. Chaos was building up within him in a way that he never had before. Vincent knew that if he gave in this time it would be his last. His human hand darkened, becoming that of the demon. 

"Yes! Come on!" Hojo cheered. This was the one thing that he had wanted to see happen; this was his unfinished work upon the former Turk.

Vincent wouldn't let the demon out again, no matter what the cost. Maybe Chaos would kill Hojo, but there was also a good chance the beast would hurt Tifa as well. That was something that he could never again allow. A lupine scream escaped Vincent's lips as he managed to grab control of the beast within him. His right arm again became his own.

Hojo's face fell; his great experiment had failed. There should have been no way for Vincent to fight off Chaos under this sort of situation. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a loaded syringe. Hojo stooped to where Vincent knelt and shoved the needle into the muscle of Vincent's normal arm. "Failure! Experiment terminated!"

There was a fierce burning where Hojo had given him the injection. Vincent fell forward, sprawling onto the floor feeling the demon writhe within him. As the chemical spread through his body, the genetic make up of the beast was dissolved within Vincent's cells. Chaos was being killed.

Tifa watched helplessly, growing weak as her terror for Vincent gripped her heart. She wanted to cry out to him, but it felt as though the air had been torn from her lungs.

As Chaos died within Vincent, Hojo turned his attention back to Tifa. He walked up before her. "Don't worry. Mr. Valentine will be fine… for now."

Mustering all her remaining strength, Tifa kicked up with her right leg, her boot meeting Hojo's chin with a brutal force. His glasses were knocked from his face as he reeled from the blow.

Any normal human would have either sustained a broken neck or gone unconscious after such an impact, but Hojo was no longer normal. He straightened back up and looked at Tifa, wiping a trail of blood from his chin. "That was not very pleasant."

She spat at him. "I hate you!"

Hojo gave a signal to Porter. The Turk immediately returned to Vincent's side and trained his gun on him. Vincent was laying motionless now as the shock to his body had rendered him unconscious.

Hojo stooped down and picked up his glasses. He inspected them momentarily before placing them back onto his nose. "Ms. Lockheart, you may want to take note that every time you anger me like that, something bad will happen to Vincent."

Her eyes grew wide.

"For instance, for kicking me like that, I will have my dear associate Porter shoot him in his good arm." Hojo said, smiling in amusement.

Porter felt his blood run cold. He had never fired upon another human being in his life. Shooting an unarmed and incapacitated man did not appeal to him, yet he knew that if he refused Hojo's order Vincent's fate would be his own. He aimed his gun at where Vincent's arm was lying before him and pulled the trigger.

The shot echoed through the lab, eliciting a scream from Tifa. "Vincent!"

Vincent was pulled back to reality from his unconscious state by the exquisite pain in his arm. The bullet had struck just above the wrist, shattering the bones within. His only remaining normal appendage now hung piteously useless. He rolled onto his back and pulled his damaged arm up to his chest, cradling it with his metal claw. The drug that Hojo had injected into him to kill the demon had left him weak and confused. He turned his head to see Tifa still being held by Cloud. Hojo stood next to them smiling. Vincent couldn't bear the spectacle and closed his eyes again. The pain from his destroyed arm was all he could think of.

"Good, I think I have made my point." Hojo turned back to Tifa. "Now that I have your attention, shall we get to business?"

Tifa couldn't take her eyes off of Vincent. Her mind spun, and she feared that everyone that had come with them would by now be dead. She suspected that once Hojo was done with her, that she and Vincent would be dead too.


	76. Imprisonment

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXVI

Imprisonment

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Hojo continued to stare at Tifa as she was held by Cloud. After a few minutes, he licked his lips and narrowed his eyes. "Well, I guess we should get you to where I plan to keep you."

Cloud's grip on her let up, and she wriggled free of him. She was torn between attacking Hojo and running over to Vincent's side.

"Ah, Ms. Lockheart, I would remind you that if you were to do something without my asking, your friend Mr. Valentine over there would suffer the consequences. You already had to make me shoot him in the arm, and I don't know if you've noticed or not, but there isn't a whole lot left to shoot him in the next time." Hojo smiled with false kindness.

A choking lump welled up within her throat. Tifa couldn't bear to be responsible for Vincent suffering anymore. She hung her head in defeat.

"Come with me." Hojo started to take a few steps away.

Tifa followed obediently, with Cloud right behind her. She was completely emotionally destroyed at this point, and could think of nothing else to do. Hojo opened the door to a small side room and motioned for her to enter. Before going in, Tifa looked one last time to where Vincent was laying. His body twitched in occasional throws of pain, but he wasn't truly conscious anymore. She tore her eyes from him, in her heart fearing that it would be the last time that she saw him. Tifa didn't want to remember him like this.

Inside the room were a small hospital style bed, a sink, and a toilet. Nothing else except for the small light fixture in the ceiling was to be found.

Hojo made his way beside the bed and waved his arm over it. "Please, have a seat."

Tifa shuffled over and did as ordered. She sat heavily, folding her hands in her lap. Hojo smiled at her submission and picked up a shackle from the floor, fixing it around her ankle. The chain attached to it was just long enough to allow her to move around the room, and tears fell from her eyes as she realized that there was not going to be any escape from here.

"Cloud, feel free to have a seat." Hojo requested, pointing to a chair in the corner. He wanted to leave his creation here to keep watch over Tifa. "If she tries anything out of the ordinary, feel free to stop her, but I do not want her harmed. Do you understand?"

Cloud nodded from the chair. "Yes, Sir."

"Good boy." Hojo looked back at Tifa, seeing the tears upon her face. "Ms. Lockheart, please don't be so upset. It will make it harder for you body to adjust. I need you in top form for my experiment. Tell me, when was the last time you ovulated?"

Tifa looked up at him blankly. Besides the fact that his question had hit her out of the blue, she like most women had absolutely no idea as to the answer. "I… I don't know."

Hojo frowned. How women could be so completely unaware of their bodies he had no understanding. "I see, then tell me this; when was the last time you menstruated?"

This was too embarrassing for her and she hung her head not wanting to answer nor look at him any longer.

"Ms. Lockheart, I will remind you of Mr. Valentine's situation." Hojo sneered, annoyed at her last ditch effort at disobedience.

"A week or two." She replied quietly.

"Good." Hojo produced a small vial from his pocket. "And tell me, how much do you weigh?"

She gave another quick and quiet response.

"Thank you." Hojo drew up into a syringe an appropriate dose of some hormone intended to force her to ovulate. He brought the needle over to her and pulled up the sleeve to her shirt.

Tifa didn't so much as flinch as he drove the hypodermic into her arm. She had no idea what it was that he was giving her, and she didn't care.

Hojo pulled away and smiled. "There, now in a few days you will be ready to have me harvest your eggs. You do know that I was just joking earlier about the whole 'create the child the old fashioned way', don't you? I was merely trying to rile Mr. Valentine."

Tifa covered her face with her hands, trying to block out the scientist and Cloud's animated body.

The mad man sighed. "I truly do not wish you any ill will, Ms. Lockheart. I have nothing against you. Please, relax. I'm even going to keep your husband Mr. Strife here with you."

Tifa shuddered with tears. "He's not my husband!"

"What is that?" Hojo knitted his brows and leaned closer. "I think you might have lost me there."

She looked up at him with the deepest hatred in her eyes. "Cloud is not my husband! He's dead!"

Hojo's eyes were caught by the wedding band on her left hand and he dared to reach out and touch it with his index finger. "Then why do you still wear this?"

Tifa retracted her hand instinctively at his touch and dropped her gaze away.

Hojo's eyes went wide and he made a most awkward expression with his lips as the answer formulated itself in his mind. "Did you marry Mr. Valentine? What sort of woman turns her back on her husband of seven years that quickly? I knew there was something going on between the two of you, but this? I did listen to the tapes taken from your implant. I heard you fucking him on the way to Rocket."

Tifa felt no need to correct his interpretation of the real events that took place on the airship several weeks ago. She knew that he was only going to use the knowledge that she and Vincent were married to torture them.

Hojo turned to Cloud. "How do you feel about that?"

Cloud stared back at the scientist with no emotion whatsoever. He no longer _felt _at all, and the computer within him was confused by the question. "Please restate."

"Oh, sorry, I forgot." Hojo laughed to himself. He turned back to Tifa. "I will have something sent in for you to eat a little later. Now, don't try anything stupid like starving yourself, because that won't help me with getting your body to produce as many eggs as I want. Also, if you don't eat everything that I send in, I will again have to take it out on Mr. Valentine. Do you understand Ms. Lockheart? Or do you prefer Mrs. Valentine?"

Tifa hung her head again with a slight nod. "I understand."

Hojo beamed. "Good, I knew that you would be smart enough to figure this out." He turned to leave, but stopped short of the door. "You know, it's funny. All this time I've wanted to punish Mr. Valentine for fucking my wife, but I never figured that I would have his wife to mess with. This is truly lovely."

Tifa was wracked with sobs as she found herself locked alone in the room with Cloud's body. She collapsed onto her side, facing away from where Cloud sat. Her tears weren't for herself; they were for both Cloud and Vincent. She now feared that she must mourn both of them. Cloud for the second time, Vincent for the first.


	77. Disassembly

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXVII

Disassembly

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

When Vincent woke up, he didn't know it but he had been asleep for nearly forty-eight hours. He was disoriented and sick to his stomach. His head felt as though he'd been hit by a train. Finally he tried to move, but found himself unable. As he tried, the only thing that he could feel was the distinct pain of his broken right wrist.

He was semi-vertical, affixed to some sort of table. Vincent's eyes were sluggish to open, and when they finally did, it took a long time for them to focus. First, he examined his surroundings; finding himself locked into a room not unlike the one Tifa was in across the hall. Although he had no idea where she was, it was obvious that she wasn't here.

After closing his eyes for a moment in a vain attempt to quiet the hangover he had from the drugs Hojo had given him, he looked down at his body. The demon flesh that had covered his chest was gone, and his own ivory skin was again present. This failed however, to console him for what he saw next.

Vincent's cybernetic lower body had been dismantled. His form was now unnaturally truncated below the hips as his mechanical legs had been removed. The last vestiges of his male anatomy had also gone by the way side, and there were various tubes and wires connecting him to some sort of machine below the table, allowing his body to carry on its normal functions. Even if he and Tifa did somehow survive this, their marriage would never be consummated.

This was why nothing had happened when he had tried to move a few minutes earlier. There was nothing left for him _to_ move.

His eyes stung with bitter tears. Vincent had once thought that Hojo had done his worst to him before, but that now paled in comparison with what he had done now.

Reluctantly, Vincent turned his gaze to his left arm, confirming what he already suspected. Where his cybernetic arm had been was nothing. The point of attachment to his left shoulder stood empty; wires and cables just terminating rudely into space.

Feeling he had nothing more to lose, he looked to his right arm. It was still present and was strapped to the table. His broken wrist hung from it at an awkward angle and was bloody and swollen from the gunshot. It had been long enough that it should have already healed on it's own, but with Chaos now no more than a memory, his exceptional healing ability was lost.

The door to the room opened and Hojo strolled in with his hands behind his back. "Mr. Valentine, I see that you are finally awake."

Vincent couldn't bring himself to look at the scientist in his shame. He bit his lower lip to prevent himself from saying anything that would warrant him a punishment. That much he had learned during his first stay in Hojo's care thirty years before.

Hojo smiled upon sensing Vincent's submission. The former Turk hadn't forgotten his fear over all these years and Hojo was pleased. "I suppose you wonder why I took you apart?"

Vincent did not respond, just closing his eyes again in anticipation of the answer.

"I see." Hojo nodded. "You're not talking to me. Which is sad, because we have a lot to discuss. Anyway, I dismantled you so I could test out some new cybernetic prosthetics on you. Your old limbs were terribly outdated. I have made several advances since then, and I want you to get the chance to test them for me. Those first limbs I perfected on you worked well, did they not? When I sold the patents on those original amendments, thousands of amputees around the world were given their lives back. Don't you feel proud to have been a part of that?"

Against his better judgement, Vincent answered. "You are quite the humanitarian."

Hojo cocked an eyebrow; surprised that Vincent would respond. "Is that sarcasm, Mr. Valentine? No matter, you are correct. I didn't do it to help old veterans that had their legs blown off by mines walk again. When I sold those patents, I made millions. Money isn't everything until you have it, I guess."

Vincent sighed to himself. He wanted to die, but he also needed to try to help Tifa. There had to be some way for him to save her, even in his current state.

The scientist seemed to read Vincent's thoughts. "Yes, about her. It will be another day before she is ready to give up the gametes I so desperately need. That's the problem with females; you have to get them to ovulate first. Quite a pain, but I've given her some medication to help her along faster. I suppose that just leaves the question of what I should do with her when I'm done. I can let her go, or I could kill her. Which do you prefer, Mr. Valentine?"

"Let her go." Vincent whispered.

"I see." Hojo licked his lips and walked closer. "Maybe I will if you entertain me. You owe me for screwing my wife and setting back the Jenova Project with your… contamination. But if you did one little thing, it might help me decide to let her go. I know she is married to you. Why she would do such a thing, I don't know, but I would suspect it means that you love her. That is very touching. Will you do something to save your wife's life?"

Vincent was desperate enough to try anything. "What?"

Hojo grinned widely and leaned right into Vincent's face. "Beg me, Mr. Valentine. Beg me to cut off your right arm. Plead with me to do that, and I might decide to let her go."

Vincent closed his eyes and let the tears fall. Losing his right arm was up until now his greatest fear, but now the fear of Tifa being harmed surpassed it. Vincent swallowed the last of his dignity and pride. "Please take my arm."

"Hmmm…" Hojo watched bemusedly as the tears began to streak Vincent's face. "I don't know if that would qualify as sincere enough. Try again."

Vincent opened his eyes and locked gazes with the scientist. From the depths of his soul he pled. "Hojo, take my right arm in exchange for Tifa's life. Do whatever you want to me, just please let her go."

Hojo leaned a little closer and allowed his lips to meet Vincent's for just a moment. He straightened up and took off his glasses. "I have missed you, Mr. Valentine. I regret not finishing my work on you thirty years ago, but things got so complicated. I am very pleased to have you back now."

Vincent had to fight the urge to vomit after the mad man's kiss. He knew that there were countless unspeakable tortures for him to endure, but for Tifa's sake he would try. Even if it cost him his life. He would give anything for her. Anything.

Hojo turned his eyes to Vincent's right hand where it dangled from his arm. He spotted the gold ring upon the third finger. Carefully he reached out and took Vincent's hand, pulling the ring from it.

Vincent winced in pain, as even the slightest touch to his arm was agonizing. He scowled as the scientist ripped his symbol of marriage from him.

Hojo inspected the plain gold band once it was removed from Vincent. "I think I should put this somewhere safe for the time being. I would hate for it to get lost when your wasted arm gets thrown into the incinerator."

Vincent clenched his teeth, wishing beyond all hope to kill the man before him. Words formed themselves in his throat, and he was unable to stop them. "I hate you, and I will kill you."

Hojo scoffed. "Take a number, Mr. Valentine. Everyone is out to get me. I suppose that even Porter has it in for me. At least, I'm sure he would if he knew what I had done on his behalf."

Vincent recognized the name from the other day. "Porter is your Turk?"

Hojo raised an eyebrow. "Talkative all of the sudden? So be it. Yes, he is. Reminds me a lot of you sometimes. Very weak and easily manipulated. However, I suspect that if he knew what I had done to his ladylove, he would lash out in a most violent way. But at least, he stays away from what is _mine, _something that you failed to do. Was Lucretia really worth all of this?"

"You killed her, and she was your wife." Vincent dropped his gaze.

"I didn't kill her, Mr. Valentine." Hojo laughed. "She was unable to adjust to the Jenova that leaked into her body from the fetus. It is the Jenova that killed her, not I."

"You are guilty." He hissed through his teeth.

"Guilt has no meaning." The scientist smiled. "For there to be a consequence to guilt, there would have to be a Hell. I don't believe in such mythology. We all die and go into the life stream. There is no heaven, no hell. Therefore, I will not ever feel any guilt or remorse for my actions. What I do is for the greater good of man. If a few lives must be lost along the way, then so be it. Lives can be replaced. People breed like rats; there will never be a shortage of subjects. But finding subjects like you, now that _is _special. I have many things planned for you."

"Fuck you." Vincent growled.

Hojo lost his self-pleased expression and narrowed his eyes. "Don't tempt me, Mr. Valentine." He reached out and struck Vincent's broken wrist.

Vincent threw his head back in agony as the force of the strike caused the broken bones to grate against one another. It took several minutes for him to regain his composure. When he opened his eyes, he found Hojo smiling.

"I have to go check on Tifa to see how she is progressing." Hojo turned to leave. "Don't go anywhere, we're not finished."


	78. Reno's Return

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXVIII

Reno's Return

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The three remaining ASRIO agents sat in silence on the helicopter as it took them back to Costa Del Sol. Reno had forbidden anyone from radioing ahead to Tseng. He needed to tell him what happened himself, in person. Tseng would be absolutely heartbroken once he realized that he had sent his men into a trap. Tifa and Vincent were now Hojo's, and Zale was dead.

Zale, although young and only a member of ARSIO for two years had quickly worked his way into Tseng's heart, and that is why he had been made Tseng's personal attendant after only six months in the base. Reno fully suspected that the boy had drawn the older man's affections and that was the reason for his quick promotion. Reno carried the entire burden of the boy's death on his shoulders. As a former Turk, he should have been more alert and should have seen Rude and his companion slip up behind them. He never should have allowed himself to be distracted, and the price for allowing it was Zale's death.

As much as Zale's fate was hurting him, it would pale in comparison to having to tell Angel that her long awaited father was now back in Hojo's grasp. Only she would be able to understand the true horror of this, and she would be heartsick. Reno did not know how he was going to comfort her, or if she would even want to be near him after he had failed to protect Tifa and Vincent on the mission.

Reno had been a Turk, Goddamn it, and he should have been able to have carried off this mission with success. He had become complacent over the years, and had lost his vigilance. All the missions he had been on over the years had all been too easy. He had become lazy because of this. Maybe Vincent had been right. Reno wasn't cut out for this line of work. He was too sloppy. He was too self absorbed. He was a failure. The fact that Vincent had been right all along was almost as bad as the guilt of not seeing the trap for what it was.

When the chopper finally alit on the airfield Reno, Morris, and Ericson hopped out. They walked slowly to the entry way under the control tower and went down into the base's depths. Reno led the procession, with his head hung in shame. They went straight to Tseng's quarters. Somehow, Reno just _knew_ he was there.

Reno took his key to the room out of his pocket and unlocked the door. He pushed it open and stepped in. His two companions followed.

Tseng was lying in his bed, propped up to a sitting position by several pillows. He examined his visitors, and knew immediately that something was terribly wrong.

Reno's face showed an expression of absolute dejection, something no one had ever witnessed before. His eyes were bloodshot and teary and when he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper. "Tseng… it was a trap."

Tseng's eyes grew wide. This had been his greatest fear, and as he looked upon Reno, he was certain that things had been horrible. "Where's the others?"

Reno shuffled a few paces forward, not looking up from the floor. He drew a jagged breath, trying as hard as he could to maintain himself. "Tifa and Vincent are in the lab. Hojo's got them."

Tseng placed a hand over his racing heart. There was a pain within it, but it had nothing to do with his physical condition. "He… he has them?"

"Yes." Reno brought a hand up and rubbed his eyes, hoping that it would push back the tears.

"And Zale?" Tseng sat up a little more. His young assistant was the only one still not accounted for. "Where is he?"

Reno failed to keep his composure. One body-wrenching sob wracked him. "He's dead."

Tseng gasped and fell back onto his pillows. He placed a hand over his eyes. "Morris, Ericson, will you please excuse us?"

The two other agents nodded and retreated quickly shutting the door behind them.

Once they were gone, Tseng picked up his laptop computer from the bed next to him and flung it across the room. It smashed against the wall near the door, at once shattering into a thousand pieces.

Reno could see Tseng's face flush from fear and grief and took a few more steps toward him. "It's my fucking fault old man. Take it easy."

"It is not your fault!" Tseng's voice was harsh with tears. "I am the leader! I gave the order to send my own brother and friends in there! I should have known it was a trap!"

Upon seeing Tseng's outburst, Reno did something completely out of character. He sat on the edge of Tseng's bed and took the older man into his arms. Tseng was shocked by the embrace but submitted to it, feeling that without any comfort at the moment he would go mad. He cried bitterly against Reno's chest, knowing that if Tifa and Vincent weren't dead, that they would soon be.

With Tseng having completely let go in his arms and the others having left, Reno felt safe enough to let his own tears come freely. Reno had only ever cried once before in his life, and that had been when Elena had been killed. He wasn't sure what was making him do it now. Whether it was his guilt or the loss of Zale, Tifa, and Vincent he did not know. Maybe part of it was seeing Tseng, his best friend in such torture. But it didn't matter to him which of these it was. "Tseng, let me go back and get them."

It took Tseng a long time before he could reply. "I can't risk losing you too."

Reno took Tseng by the shoulders and looked him into the eye. "I am going back to get them, Tseng. Whether I have your permission or not, I am going. I can't leave Vinny and Tifa there, even if it means losing my life in the attempt. I should already be dead. The only reason I got out was that Rude let me go."

Tseng caught his breath. "Rude let you go? What do you mean?"

"Rude was there along with another Turk. After his associate killed Zale, Rude sent him off and then let me escape." Reno dropped his gaze away. "Since I am living on borrowed time after that, I don't feel hesitant in the least about going back in there to get them."

To hear such emotion and eloquence out of Reno was an event for Tseng. It was too clear to him that Reno was going to try some desperate rescue, so he might as well provide the support he would need. "So be it. Give me two days to arrange it."

"We don't have two days!" Reno shook Tseng slightly. "I need to go now!"

"If you go now you will just be killed." Tseng hung his head. "Allow me to get you the provisions you need so that you will at least have a chance. I can't risk losing you too."

Reno sighed in submission. He knew that Tseng was right, and that if he was to succeed, he would need preparation. "Two days, no more. If I have to go in there and drag Vinny and Tifa out of there with my teeth, that's what I'll do."

Tseng smiled faintly touched by Reno's dedication to his friends. "Fair enough. Go see Angel now. I'm sure that she will want to know that you are fine."

Reno hated to leave Tseng like this. "Will you be all right?"

Tseng attempted another weak smile. "I've been through hard times before. At least I know that you understand. That is more than enough. We'll get Tifa and Tsuvati back. We have to."

Reno rose up from the bed. "Yes, we will."

Tseng nodded, giving Reno permission to leave. He wanted to be alone for a while, knowing that his friend would be uncomfortable by his need to continue crying.

Reno walked to the door and stepped into the hall. He was fairly certain that he could hear Tseng crying again as he made his way toward Angel's room.

Upon entering, Angel ran to him and threw her arms around his neck. "You're back!"

Reno allowed his head to rest down on her shoulder, and he slouched in her embrace.

By the way he failed to immediately attempt to whisk her to the bed, Angel knew that something was wrong. "Reno? What happened?"

He took a step back from her and then made his way to the couch. He landed upon it and leaned forward, placing his face in his hands. "We fucked up."

"What do you mean?" Angel went over and sat on the floor before him. She was filled with worry over what the problem would be.

Reno looked up at her for a brief moment, before hanging his head again. "Hojo's got Tifa and your daddy. And Zale is dead."

Angel caught her breath, as her eyes at once were stung. "No, no!"

Reno couldn't bear to look at her, his guilt over the mission's failure crushing in on him. "It was a trap, and I didn't seen it coming. I never should have let them go into that lab! I should have known…"

Angel stared up at him through her own sadness. As upset as she was about the plight of her father and Tifa, she couldn't allow Reno to blame himself for this. "It isn't anyone's fault except for Hojo's! He's the one that did this, not you."

No one's words were going to help Reno. He had failed, and no matter who tried to convince him otherwise, he wouldn't let it go until he had Tifa and Vincent back in the ASRIO base. "I already talked to Tseng, and he's going to let me go back and get them."

"Reno, how are you going to do that?" Angel wasn't about to let Reno go on a suicide mission.

"I don't know." He leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. "But I have to. You need your father."

"I need you, too." She placed a hand on his knee. "Let Tseng send some one else!"

"You know I can't ask him to do that!" Reno closed his eyes. She was speaking out of panic, and he knew it. "This is something that _I _have to take care of and you know it. Would you really want Tifa and Vincent's lives in anyone else's hands?"

Angel wasn't certain, but she thought she heard a hint of Reno's old sarcasm in his voice. "You're the best man for the job."

He sat back up and looked her in the eyes. "I _will_ be."

Angel gave him a quick smile, but it soon fell. "How did Tseng react to hearing about Zale?"

Reno knitted his brows. "Threw his laptop across the room and busted it."

"He really liked that boy. It's awful." Angel sighed.

Reno didn't think that she knew exactly _how _much Tseng had liked him. "He was his favorite, that's for damn sure."

"He must really be upset." Angel slowly stood back up.

Reno was embarrassed at the memory of holding Tseng as he cried. "He's taking it pretty hard."

"I should go see him." Angel started for the door. The best way to divert herself away from her own pain was to try and help someone else with theirs.

Reno knew what she was up to, and wasn't going to let her ignore her feelings. "No, don't go. Tseng needs to be alone for a while, and besides, I think you need to let this all sink in before you go off trying to console anyone else."

Angel turned back to him, her bottom lip starting to quiver. "Reno…"

He got up and took her in his arms. "Come on, baby. Let it out."

Her body began to tremble in his embrace. She buried her face in his shirt and sobbed. She was filled with absolute terror about what Tifa and her father were going through. It was all too clear that Vincent's sanity as well as life was on the line. And as to what Hojo could want with Tifa she could only imagine. "Reno, you'll save them, won't you?"

He kissed the top of her head. "You bet I will, baby. That mother fucker Hojo is going _down._"


	79. Preparation

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXIX

Preparation

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa had spent an unknown number of hours lying on her bed. She knew that Cloud's eyes hadn't left her, even when she had managed to drift off to sleep for a while. There was a desperate need for her to go to the bathroom, but she couldn't bring herself to do it again under his continued unwavering stare. Hojo had come and gone several times to get blood samples from her and give her additional injections but she had given him very little reaction. When her meals had been presented, she had eaten slowly, having to overcome her inappettitince with each forced swallow. Occasionally she would hear a far off cry, and although it was muted through various walls and doors, she knew it was Vincent.

Hojo returned again with a syringe and some vials. "I need more blood, Mrs. Valentine."

The scientist had taken to calling her this now, and it only hurt her more. She rolled onto her back and outstretched her arm. There would be no point in resisting, as Hojo would just take it out on Vincent.

"Good girl." Hojo purred as he snapped a tourniquet around her upper arm. He expertly drove the needle into her vein and filled his large syringe. He reached up and flicked off the tourniquet before placing a piece of cotton over the needle's insertion site. He slid out the needle and taped down the cotton. "There we are."

Tifa looked up, watching him fill several vials with the blood. She neither cared what he was doing nor why, but she did need to ask him something. "Can I have some time alone?"

Hojo cocked an eyebrow as he dropped his filled vials into his pocket. "What ever for?"

She simply pointed to the toilet. 

"And that is something you can't do in front of your former husband?" Hojo mused.

She turned her gaze up to the ceiling, not wanting to look at him. "I can't, all right? Either you give me five minutes of privacy or I wet the bed. I don't think any of us want that."

Her point had been made and Hojo turned to Cloud. "So be it. I'm sure Mr. Strife's body could use the time to take care of some things as well. Come Mr. Strife."

Cloud rose from his seat and followed the scientist from the room. Once the door was locked behind them, Tifa shot up from the bed and ran over to the toilet. She hadn't been planning anything; she just genuinely had to _go._

As per her request, Cloud returned five minutes later and immediately sat back down in the chair he had been in.

Tifa sat back on her bed and faced him. Whether his body was alive or not, as she gazed into his blue eyes it was clear that there was no soul behind them. Even in this animated death Cloud was still beautiful, and she remembered exactly how much she had loved him. Tifa felt tears burn her eyes and guilt tear at her heart. "Oh Cloud…"

He remained still, waiting for her to complete the request. His computer driven mind was unable to sympathize with her.

"I know that you aren't really you anymore, but there are some things that I at least owe you an explanation for." She sighed, hanging her head.

Cloud did not respond. There was no programmed response to her words. He just stared back at her in silence.

"This never would have happened if I hadn't run off with Vincent, and I'm sorry." She turned her eyes back up to him. "But I gave you so many years of my life, hoping that someday you would start to love me as I did you. Maybe it was stupid of me to spend so much time trying, but what else could I do? When Vincent came to see us, something inside me just couldn't help but grab onto the chance to escape. I had already decided to go with him before I knew that you were going to kill yourself. Once I saw you lying there dead, I ran away. What else could I have done? How could I know that Hojo would find out about your death and claim your body? I'm sorry it worked out that way, and because of it, now Vincent's in there suffering God knows what."

Again, there was no reply from Cloud.

Tifa wrung her hands together, as her emotions ripped her heart. "You wouldn't believe Vincent… He's been such a different man since coming to New Nibelheim to get me. You'd laugh; he's even made up with Cid after all these years! He's been good to me, and he's let me know that my feelings whatever they may be are valid. Maybe that's why I've fallen in love with him, because that was the one thing you could never do. Vincent understands me on a level I never thought anyone would, certainly not you."

Cloud blinked a few times as she looked back at him speaking. His computer mind was only giving thought to keeping his heart beating and breathing.

"But I am sorry for how things worked out. I only wish I could tell _you_ that, instead of what ever you are now." Tifa wiped a tear away from her cheek. 

Hojo threw open the door to the room with a wide smile. "Mrs. Valentine, you are ready ahead of schedule!"

She stared at him in confusion. "What?"

"You are ready to give up your eggs." Hojo took a few steps forward. "It is time for the Jenova Retrial to begin!"

His eagerness made her blood run cold. Of all people to have a child with, Hojo was the last person on her list. But this wouldn't really be her child; rather it would be one of the lab. It would grow up just as Sephiroth did without any love and thus the end result would be the same. "Leave me alone!"

Hojo furrowed his brow. "Now now, Mrs. Valentine, don't do that. You know what happens to Mr. Valentine when you act up. Very inconsiderate of you, especially when you consider the sacrifices he has agreed to make for your survival."

"What did you do to him?" Tifa's eyes went wide in fear.

"Not much that can't be undone as of yet." Hojo smiled. "However, he has agreed to exchange his right arm for your life. That is very touching, is it not?"

Tifa felt weak, knowing how terrified Vincent was of being worked on and how mortified he had become before at the thought of losing his arm. "Please don't do this!"

"Sorry, but I am a man of my word; at least where Mr. Valentine is concerned. I owe him at least that much. As long as he continues to cooperate, you will be set free after I have what I need from you." Hojo extended a hand toward her with three small white pills in his palm. "Take these so that you will be relaxed before the procedure. If you attempt something stupid like knocking my hand away, Mr. Valentine will pay."

Tifa slowly took the tablets from his gnarled hand and put them into her mouth. Without anything to drink, she swallowed them, feeling as though she would gag.

Hojo nodded in approval. "Good, Mrs. Valentine. I will return in a while to take you to surgery. In the mean while, I have some business with your new husband."


	80. Vincent's Visitor

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXX

Vincent's Visitor

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Porter sat in his office trying to get through some paperwork the Professor had assigned to him. The scientist had been working in the lab nonstop since capturing Tifa and Vincent. Porter didn't really know what was happening to the two captives nor did he care; at least that's what he kept telling himself.

Deciding that the paper work could wait for a few moments, he leaned back and dropped his pen. He reached down and pulled open the bottom drawer to his desk. From within he brought out Vincent's Death Penalty.

Porter admired the weapon in his hands, never having seen such a gun before. Its glossy black surface shone with a carefully polished brilliance. Where Hojo's prisoner could have acquired such a weapon Porter did not know. It was unlike anything he had ever seen and he was excited to now be its owner.

Hojo threw open the door. "Porter!"

The Turk jumped at the rude entrance and quickly put the gun back away. "Yes Sir?"

"I need to go out for a bit. Tifa is ready and there are some things that require my attention before proceeding. Go watch over our guests." The scientist ordered, obviously annoyed at having to exit his precious laboratory.

"Yes Sir." Porter rose up from his desk and pulled his passkey to the lab from his pocket. After Hojo had gotten to the elevator Porter opened the lab and went in. He made his way to Vincent's room wishing to see the former Turk. D trotted along closely at his side.

Vincent opened his eyes, spotting his visitor staring at him from the doorway. Seeing anyone other than Hojo brought an odd smile to his lips. "Porter?"

The Turk took a few steps forward and his dog sat at his feet. "Mr. Valentine."

Vincent's eyes landed upon D. The cybernetic amendments on the animal caught his attention. "He did it to your dog too?"

Porter looked down at D. "Hojo did this to him before I had him. I found him in the trash destined for the incinerator. I don't know what he did it for."

Noting the depth of emotion on Porter's face as he spoke about the dog, Vincent realized that the man before him was a feeling human being, unlike Hojo. This might be the chance that Vincent had been searching for. He recalled Hojo's comments about Porter and his girlfriend. "Tell me, what do you think Hojo has done to your girlfriend?"

Porter raised his eyebrows. The question had caught him off guard. "How do you know I even have a girlfriend?"

Vincent rested his head back against the table he was still strapped to. "Hojo told me. He also told me that he's done something to her."

"What?" Porter wondered if Vincent was telling him the truth or if he was trying to manipulate him.

"I bet he's done something to her like this; if Hojo doubts your loyalty to him he will let you know that if you don't cooperate with him she will die." Vincent closed his eyes, knowing the mad man's ways all too well.

"You don't know what you're talking about." Porter narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists.

"Maybe, maybe not." Vincent slowly reopened his eyes and looked at Porter. "Why don't you ask Hojo for yourself? If I'm wrong or lying, so be it. But if I'm right and you want to save her, let me know."

Porter felt a chill run down his spine. There was something in this man's tone that was very sincere. Then again, Vincent had been a Turk, and psychological manipulation was something he would have received training in. Unfortunately, this was the same subject that Porter had been so terribly bad at, making him suitable for this assignment. "If you're right, why would you want to help her?"

Vincent's face lost all expression. "Because if I help you, you might help me in return."

Porter scoffed. "And risk pissing off Hojo and ending up like you? No thanks!"

"Your girlfriend means that little to you?" Vincent frowned slightly. "All that has happened to me at the hands of the Professor is because I cared for the women I loved too much."

Vincent had struck Porter where it hurt. The young man did love Rayna and knew that if it came down to it; he would go through the gates of Hell for her.

Vincent just watched as Porter's thoughts played out on his face. Although he didn't show it, Vincent felt a flicker of hope. It was clear that this young man had no business as a Turk. He felt too much.

Porter felt uncomfortable under Vincent's continued stare and went back out into the main room of the lab. He worried about what Vincent had said to him. There was no doubt in his mind that Hojo was capable of having done something to Rayna, but he hoped he was just being paranoid.

He gave a brief moment of thought to going in and seeing Tifa, but he knew that Cloud would be in there too. The animated dead man made Porter uncomfortable and he found himself unable to go check on her.

Porter sat down in a corner of the lab next to a garbage bin. He began to pick through its contents looking for anything of interest.

Hojo eventually returned with a large box in his arms. He spotted his Turk over at a table messing with his few scavenged electronics. "Porter!"

The Turk shot up from his seat startled. "Sir?"

"Up to your trash picking again, I see." Hojo sighed as he set his box down on the counter.

Porter cleared the table, stuffing his treasure into his coat pockets. He looked up at Hojo, feeling a sweat break out across his skin. _How can I ask him about Rayna?_

Hojo sensed the change in Porter's composure and turned to him. "Something on your mind, my dear Porter?"

He tried to force a smile, wanting to seem casual. "I checked in on Vincent and he tried to scare me."

Hojo's eyes narrowed. "How is that?"

"Oh, he said that you had probably done something to Rayna." Porter dropped his gaze to the side betraying his fear.

"Ah, I see." Hojo remembered telling that to Mr. Valentine. His lips upturned into a cruel smile. "He did not come up with that idea on his own, I fear."

Porter felt the color drain from his face. "What?"

The scientist took a few steps closer to his Turk. "You remind me a lot of Mr. Valentine. As such, I have made certain to make arrangements to assure your continued loyalty to me."

Porter's hand ached to pull his gun from his side. "What did you do to her?"

"Let's just say that you had better make damned sure that nothing happens to me, that's all." Hojo took his glasses from his nose and started to wipe them with the hem of his lab coat. "If my heart rate drops below a given point, she will die. I have placed an implant in her linked to me."

Porter fell back into his chair. He heart felt as though it had been torn from his chest. Vincent _had _been right and Rayna was in danger. "Professor…"

"Don't worry, dear Porter. As long as nothing happens to me she will remain unharmed. There is nothing for you to be concerned about." Hojo slipped his glasses back on. "I will admit this is quite a bit for you to take, so I will dismiss you for the rest of the day."

Porter rose from his seat, shaking terribly. His legs felt as though they would give out at any moment. He was speechless and he merely patted his thigh to signal D to follow. The Turk trudged out of the lab without looking back at Hojo. He got onto the elevator and let the tears come. He was terrified about what might happen to Rayna. He hit the button to go up to the accounting offices at once. He needed to see her.


	81. Amputation

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXXI

Amputation

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

As anxious as Hojo was to get Tifa's surgery underway, he needed to pay a visit to Vincent first. He was angry about his specimen telling Porter about Rayna's predicament. Hojo would have expected better of Mr. Valentine.

He threw open the door to Vincent's room and walked up to him. "You seem to have upset my dear Porter very badly today with your talk about his girlfriend."

Vincent narrowed his eyes at the madman. "Then maybe you shouldn't have told me."

"Insubordination is punishable, Mr. Valentine." Hojo went over to a small table in the corner of the room that was laden with various medical instruments. He picked up a scalpel and turned back to Vincent. "I was going to wait to do this, but I think you need to be reminded of exactly _who_ I am and _what_ I am capable of."

Vincent caught sight of the medical knife in the scientist's hand and felt his heart race. He had to bite his tongue to keep himself from begging for forgiveness. He would endure this torture before losing anymore of his dignity.

Hojo came back to Vincent and frowned. He was disappointed by Vincent's lack of response to his approach. Thirty years ago, Vincent would have been in tears. "You seem to have gained some fortitude over the years, or else you've just become stupid."

Vincent swallowed as Hojo reached out with his left hand and traced a line on his right shoulder. He knew that Hojo was going to cut off his arm.

Hojo smiled in satisfaction as he saw the color drain from Vincent's face. "This is where I'm going to cut you. I was going to at least do this under anesthetic, but after interfering with my relationship with Porter, I no longer think that you deserve it."

Vincent's eyes grew wide as Hojo placed the blade against his skin. As he watched, the scientist made one clean incision from the top of his shoulder to the armpit. Vincent grit his teeth as the pain of the cut began to sting.

Hojo stooped closer to inspect his first incision. "This isn't going to be easy with you strapped to that table like that. I will have to go through the muscles on this side, then the joint, then the tissues and skin of the other. Usually one would dissect away all the soft tissues first and then the bone last, but I guess that isn't to be today."

Vincent clamped his eyes shut, doing his utmost to suppress his terror and pain. Hojo's descriptions of the rest of the procedure made him nauseous and his head began to spin. "No…"

Hojo was pleased to hear the first sounds of fear in Vincent's voice. He quickly retrieved some gauze from his surgical tray and came back to Vincent's side. He didn't worry about sterility during his surgical procedures. The madman had created a barrage of antibiotics that he pumped into his specimens preventing infection. He blotted away the blood that had begun to ooze from the incision before bringing his scalpel back up to Vincent's shoulder. He slowly began to work away the attachments of the biceps muscle of Vincent's arm to the bones below.

As the scientist cut away at him, the pain became excruciating from various nerves being severed. Vincent bashed his head back against the table, struggling futilely against his restraints. What was left of his body involuntarily writhed in agony. A deathly scream escaped him, as he was no longer able to hold back his terror. "Stop, please stop it! Tifa, help me!"

The scientist grinned widely as Vincent's composure was lost. He looked back over his shoulder briefly realizing that he had left the door to the room open. Certainly Tifa could hear these screams, and she would be in tears.

Vincent's head continued to swim from his pain and he felt like he was going to vomit. The only problem was that he hadn't eaten since coming here, and so as he retched nothing came up.

Vincent's movements were not making Hojo's job easy, but watching Vincent's continued panic was making it all worth while. "Come now, Mr. Valentine! Is this really so very bad?"

"God damn it, stop!" Vincent begged between dry heaves. Hot tears of anguish burned his eyes and marked his cheeks.

"Now remember, you made a promise to me. I can have your arm and your wife lives." Hojo intentionally stabbed the blade down all the way to the bone. "So I can't very well stop now, can I?"

A wordless cry escaped Vincent as he felt the blade glance off the bone. All of his previous tortures at the hands of this man were beginning to pale in comparison to what he was feeling at the moment. A strange feeling of dizziness washed over Vincent and the sound of Hojo's voice seemed to grow more distant.

Hojo looked up at Vincent's face seeing the last of the color drain from his cheeks and his eyes flutter closed. "Mr. Valentine, you can't pass out now, we're just getting started!"

Vincent didn't hear this last remark, nor did he feel anymore pain. His world for the moment was one of silence and darkness. In his unconscious state he dreamt of being in Tifa's arms again. He was blissfully unaware that the scientist's amputation of his arm was still going on.

***

In her room, Tifa lay on her bed with the pillow pressed down over her ears. She was trembling from the sound of Vincent's screams. Try as she might, she could not blot them out and she sobbed in her helplessness. Whatever Hojo was doing was exceptionally cruel and she was certain that Vincent was slowly being killed.

When she heard her own name called out by Vincent, it was too much to bear. Tifa threw the pillow across the room and jumped off the bed. She ran towards the door in desperation, wanting to get to Vincent and stop his torment. Just a few steps short of the door, the chain attached to her leg lost all of its slack. Tifa let out a startled shriek as her leg was violently held back causing her to fall forward. Her chin hit the concrete floor violently and the taste of blood at once filled her mouth.

Cloud rose from his seat and came to where she lay on the floor. He reached down and grasped her upper right arm pulling her back to her feet. "Your restraint will prevent any escape."

Tifa looked up at him with flames in her eyes. She spat out the blood in her mouth upon Cloud. "No shit? Is that the best Hojo can come up with for you?"

Cloud stared back down at her blankly. Her words held no meaning for him.

"Fuck you! Fuck all of you!" Tifa spun on her shackled leg bringing the boot of her left foot over in a roundhouse kick.

Cloud was struck so forcefully by the blow he was thrown back into the corner where his chair was. A stream of blood began to run from the corners of his mouth, but his expression continued to be blank. The computer's attachments within his cranium had been badly shaken by the blow and he was unable to control his body. He sat slumped in the chair like a discarded puppet.

Tifa couldn't stand looking at him sitting there like that, and turned her gaze back to the door. "Hojo! Leave Vincent alone! I've broken your fucking doll in here! You'd better come check it out!"

***

Back in Vincent's room, Hojo heard her shouts. As he meticulously worked through Vincent's shoulder joint he smiled to himself. "Mrs. Valentine, I warned you that angering me would make life more difficult for your husband, did I not? I wonder what you've gone and done to poor Cloud? No matter, I will be done with you soon enough. But your husband will stay here with me, forever."


	82. Jaras's Inclusion

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXXII

Jaras's Inclusion

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tseng found Reno in the cafeteria sitting with Jaras. He came over to them and sat at the end of their table. His eyes betrayed his exhaustion, giving away the fact that he had spent every waking moment thinking about Zale, Vincent, and Tifa. Despite the protests of Dr. Arlin and the fact that he was still recovering from his bypass surgery, he had been pouring every ounce of his energy into the rescue plan. Something that he couldn't explain told him that it still wasn't too late and he could save his brother and Tifa.

Reno had spent most of the last forty-eight hours in combat training. He discovered his skills in this area were pathetically weak from neglect over all these years. Reno was nearly as spent as Tseng was and he wasn't even recovering from major surgery. Angel was off with the tactics team planning the final details of the mission leaving Reno with no one to spend the afternoon with except Jaras.

Jaras sat picking at his plate, unable to eat. Knowing that Tifa was danger was killing him and he felt useless as everyone in the base ran around him in furious activity. He wanted to help, but just didn't know how. When Reno had asked him to have lunch with him he had readily agreed. Not because he was hungry in the least, but rather because he no longer could bear being alone.

Tseng examined the two depressed men for a moment. He knew they were in just as much pain over this as he was. "Reno, I think we have a plan. The helicopter is going to leave tomorrow afternoon."

Reno perked up to hear this. Things were finally getting ready to happen and he would get the chance to vindicate himself. "What's the plan, boss?"

"You, Ericson, and Morris will fly into Midgar. Once it's dark, you will enter the building and go up to the lab. Go in, grab Vincent and Tifa and get the Hell out. You'll be leaving from the roof. It's got to be quick." Tseng slapped his hand down onto the table to make the point.

Reno smiled. This was the simple kind of plan he preferred. "You left out the part where we kick that mother fucking Hojo's ass."

"There won't be any time for that." Tseng shook his head. "That will have to come at a later time. All I want is my brother and Tifa out of that lab."

"Fair enough, but when the ass kicking mission is slated, I'm going." Reno gave his old friend a wink.

"That's fine." Tseng couldn't help but smile at Reno's enthusiasm.

Reno leaned closer to Tseng. "So how we getting in? I noticed you didn't give too much detail there."

Tseng cocked an eyebrow. "Why, we're going in the one way we never have. They won't see it coming."

Reno smirked and pointed a finger at Tseng. "Don't tell me we're busting in through the front doors!"

Tseng grinned. "You bet your sweet ass we are."

"Hey, you got that line from me." Reno smiled back. "And how are we getting past security?"

"You were once a Turk, and you get to pretend you are again." Tseng crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh, the old 'pretend to be someone no one would dare fuck with' routine? I like it!" Reno nodded in excitement.

Jaras broke his silence for the first time in several hours. "I wish to go as well."

Tseng turned his eyes to Jaras. "This is going to be a dangerous mission. It will take highly trained agents to pull this one off."

"You just said you were going to walk through the door dressed as Turks, go to the lab, grab Tifa and Vincent and leave. I don't see what is so complicated about that." Jaras narrowed his eyes, his resolve clear.

Tseng was silent for a moment. When Hojo caught sight of Sephiroth being with the rescue team the shock it would cause might buy them precious time. Hojo would have no way of knowing that Jaras was now mortal. "On second thought, you might prove to be an asset. But it will be dangerous."

"If I lose my life while saving Tifa, then so be it." Jaras wore no expression.

Reno scoffed. "That's one Hell of a crush you got on her. I thought we talked about that."

Jaras turned his cold stare to Reno and said nothing.

Reno recoiled from the gaze. "Jesus, there you go again! Just like your fucking daddy."

"Do you wish for my men to provide you with a gun?" Tseng asked, disregarding Reno's idiocy.

Jaras almost smiled. "No, thank you. I already have what I need."


	83. Induction

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXXIII

Induction

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa had collapsed into a heap on the floor where she had been standing when she kicked Cloud. Her head was resting on her arms as she sobbed to herself. Vincent's screams had finally stopped, and she feared that he was dead.

Cloud remained slouched in the chair, his computerized brain not fully capable of controlling his body beyond life functions. Hojo would have to invest several hours of work in order to get him functioning properly again.

Tifa picked her head up and stared toward the door. She heard someone coming and knew it was Hojo from the uneven pace of his steps. If he confirmed her fear that Vincent was dead she would attack him with every last ounce of her being.

Hojo opened the door slowly; not certain what he would find inside after the shouted threats and claims Tifa had made during Vincent's amputation. He spotted her lying on the floor not too far away. "Mrs. Valentine, are your sedatives finally kicking in?"

Thanks to her adrenaline rush from Vincent's cries, the drugs he had given her a while earlier had produced no effect. But now as she lay still, she was beginning to feel _something. _"What did you do to him? Is he dead?"

Hojo smiled kindly and shook his head. "No, Mrs. Valentine. He isn't dead. I was just freeing him of that troublesome right arm of his."

Tifa's jaw fell open, and she failed to find any words. She realized that Hojo had preformed the operation with Vincent awake. What he must have gone through she could only imagine.

Hojo saw her terror and was pleased. He turned his attention to Cloud still sitting in a rather awkward position. "Mr. Strife, can you stand?"

Cloud did not respond in the least. He hadn't even been able to blink for the last few minutes and his eyes gazed icily into space.

"Oh dear." Hojo sighed and hung his head. "What have you done, Mrs. Valentine? Abandoning Cloud was bad enough, but now you seem to have caused him physical harm. You are not a very nice lady. What's worse is that Vincent is going to have to pay for this little stunt."

"Don't you dare!" Tifa struggled up to her feet, feeling a little unsteady as the sedatives continued to work on her.

Hojo furrowed his brow and scowled. This was not the time for her to grow defiant. The time for the surgery to harvest her eggs had arrived. "You will give me your complete obedience starting this very moment or I will go in there and start removing the skin from his face. You don't want that now do you?"

Tifa gasped, her desperation to spare Vincent from anymore pain obvious. "Please leave him alone!"

"I will if you cooperate." Hojo reached into his pocket and pulled out a key. "I will unchain you, but don't you dare try anything. I am sure that you noticed the other day that your little physical attack on me had no effect. Save your energy for your recovery."

Tifa visibly trembled as he stooped down to unlatch the shackle from her ankle. She fought desperately the urge to kick him in the face while he was down like that, knowing that it would most likely cost Vincent his life.

Hojo straightened back up, pleased at her submission. "Good, Mrs. Valentine. Now follow me."

He turned and walked from the room. Tifa followed him slowly, pulled along by her fear of what might happen if she attempted to flee. He led her to the main room of the lab. In the center of the room was placed a surgical table flanked by an anesthetic machine and lapraoscopy unit. An acne-ridden man stood next to the scene, brought in to help the scientist with the procedure.

Hojo reached the side of the table and turned to Tifa. "Strip."

She stared back at him with tears in her eyes, hoping that she had misunderstood him. "What?"

"Remove your clothing, Mrs. Valentine." Hojo pushed his glasses up his nose. "I cannot perform the operation through your clothes."

Tifa found herself temporarily unable to respond. With the trauma of rape still fresh in her mind she was paralyzed with fear.

"Now, Mrs. Valentine!" Hojo's voice took on a commanding edge. He was eager to get underway with the egg collection.

She jumped as he shouted at her and slowly began to pull her shirt over her head. These men weren't looking at her as doctors would as she shed her outfit; they were looking at her like lustful men.

Her garments hit the floor one at a time, and once she was completely bare she stood there, trying to hide herself away from their gazes with her hands. Inside she was dying of shame and terror. She had no idea what was in store for her and tears were burning her eyes.

Hojo motioned to the surgical table. "Come and lay here."

She hung her head and went forward, not looking either of the two men in the eye as she went. Tifa sat upon the edge of the table, feeling the cold steel of the thing under the thin sheet they had put down for her.

"Lay down and outstretch your left arm." Hojo hissed.

Again she silently obeyed. Once on her back she stared up at the surgery lights overhead, having to squint in their intensity. She felt the unknown man begin to prep her arm for an I.V. line. Tifa closed her eyes wishing to disappear. Her outright horror kept her from feeling much as the catheter was slid into her vein and taped in. 

The unnamed stranger nodded. "The line is in. Should I induce her?"

Hojo had turned and started to mess with the laprascope. "Go ahead. Knock her out with the propofol and then get her on the iso."

These words meant nothing more than increased fear for Tifa. She looked over to spot the anesthesiologist pick up a large syringe filled with some milky white solution. He connected it to the port of her I.V. line and started to inject it into her. Within thirty seconds her world began to spin, as an odd tasted filled her mouth. A few seconds later she lost consciousness.


	84. Take Off

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXXIV

Take Off

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Bear with me, the lab scenes are almost over and this isn't one of them

Reno had gathered his things and was making his way up to the airfield. He heard steps behind him and turned to see Jaras coming up behind him.

Reno stopped and stared at his friend. Jaras was wearing the assigned Turk suit and had his hair pulled tightly back. There was a book in his right hand, and a long sword hanging from his left hip. His small reading glasses were perched atop his head. "Jaras, you're looking pretty hot."

Jaras rolled his cat like green eyes, seeing that his companion was too dressed in a Turk's uniform, but he didn't look well kept. Reno's tie was crooked and his undershirt untucked. His coat and slacks were wrinkled despite the fact the suit had only been out of the closet for one hour. "Do you think that is what a Turk should look like?"

Reno scoffed and outstretched his arms. "What? I _was _a Turk, thank you very much. I'm the only one on this team who has any experience at this."

Jaras cocked and eyebrow and started walking again. He both liked and was annoyed by Reno at the same time. "They are waiting."

Reno let his hands fall back to his sides, realizing that Jaras wasn't as razzed about this as he was. He trotted a few paces to catch back up with Jaras. "That the same sword?"

"Yes. Tifa gave it to me." Jaras said, allowing his left hand to rest upon the hilt.

"Not many Turks out there with swords." Reno shoved his hands into his pockets.

"And not many with electric staffs either." Jaras observed. "Besides, they have never seen us before, and we _aren't _really Turks."

Reno smiled to himself. "But if we're lucky we'll get to do some killin' like we are. I miss that shit."

Jaras narrowed his eyes and glanced over at his friend. "You do not sincerely look forward to that prospect do you?"

"Look man," Reno sighed, "they got your daddy and Tifa in there. If I have to take out a few Shin Ra fucks to get them back, then that is something I will gladly do. And so will you."

Jaras could never remember being in even a small fight before and he was on some level scared. Then again, Reno's words had struck a chord. He would do whatever it took to save Tifa even if it meant killing or dying. "Yes."

Reno smiled again, pleased that Jaras was opening up a little to him. "You ain't a bad guy, you know that?"

"That's not what I heard." Jaras suppressed his urge to break into a grin. His dry sense of humor reared its head.

"Yeah, well, not now anyway." Reno nudged him in the side.

Jaras gave in and smirked. The prospect of getting Tifa out of that lab was getting to him. "Are you ready for this?"

With the last few intensive days of training, Reno's old combat skills had been reborn. He was feeling more confident in himself than he had for a long time. "You bet your sweet ass I am. Yourself?"

Jaras shrugged. "I know nothing of fighting, but I will do what I can. But promise me this; if something happens to me I don't want anyone risking themselves for me. If I die on this mission then so be it."

"That's a shitty attitude guy." Reno furrowed his brow. He didn't like what he was hearing or the tone it was side in.

"I just don't want to be the reason that this mission might fail. I am only going as a distraction, I know that. If this is how I may make up for my past deeds, then so be it. It is a risk I face willingly and knowingly." Jaras couldn't bring himself to look at Reno.

Reno hung his head in thought as they came to the door to the airfield. "That isn't going to happen. Not on my watch and not today. I screwed up on the last mission and I ain't going to fuck up this one too."

Jaras was touched by Reno's determination, but his mind was still made up. "Reno, promise me no one will do anything to risk getting hurt on my behalf."

Reno shook his head. "Sorry, guy. I can't do that. I already promised myself that I wouldn't leave anyone behind this time."

They stepped out onto the airfield finding Tseng waiting for them with his arms crossed. A look of worry marred his features. "Reno, Jaras."

"Hey boss." Reno said going to his side.

Jaras just nodded at the older man.

"Everything is ready." Tseng dropped his arms to his sides. "Morris and Ericson are on the chopper with Angel. I wish I could go with you, but even I know I'm not up to it yet."

Part of Reno was relieved that Tseng wasn't going to be with him. He had seen the toll the last several missions had taken on the man even before the first attack. But he hid his concern. "That's fine. I can handle this."

"I know you can." Tseng was aware of what Reno had been up to these last few days. He was proud of him for taking such a personal responsibility over this mission. It was very uncharacteristic for Reno. "You'd better get going. I'll have my phone with me so call if there are any questions, all right?"

Reno nodded. "You got it."

Jaras offered his uncle a small smile. "I'll keep an eye on him."

"Good, someone needs to." Tseng grinned in return. "Go on now."

Reno and Jaras gave Tseng one last good bye before trotting off to the waiting helicopter.


	85. Drinking's Effects

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXXV

Drinking's Effects

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

After fleeing from the lab upon confirming Hojo's tampering with Rayna, Porter had not known where to go. At first he was desperate to see her, but knew that in his own obviously disturbed state that she would figure out that something was wrong and he didn't want to scare her. Instead, he hit the button in the elevator that would take him to the top floor of the building. He was headed for the President's office, but not to see Harwin himself. Rather, he felt the need to see his only real friend, Rude.

Porter stepped out of the elevator and was faced by the huge doors to the President's chambers. Rasta and Kimo flanked the great doors, assigned to their usual guard duty.

"Hey man, what you doin' up here?" Rasta asked, surprised to see Porter.

"I need to see Rude." Porter did his best to act calmer than he felt.

Kimo crossed his arms, picking up on the younger man's discomfort. "Something wrong?"

Porter shook his head and dropped his gaze. "I just wanted to pay him a social visit. There's been some things on my mind, that's all."

"You sure that Hojo didn't fuck with you?" Kimo couldn't help but ask.

"No, it's not that," Porter lied, and was bad at it.

Kimo huffed and pressed the radio piece in his ear. "Hey Rude, you around? Oh, hey, yeah, Porter's up here looking for you. I don't know what's up, but he's not looking too happy. Okay, I'll tell him."

Porter waited for the radio conversation to end. He grew dark in the realization that everyone that knew him seemed to be able to see his feelings. It wasn't becoming of a Turk to be so transparent.

"Rude says he's off in a few minutes. He'll be out soon," Kimo said, letting his hand fall back to his side.

"Great." Porter reached down and patted D on the head. Even the dog looked as though it knew something was wrong with his master.

"How long you gonna keep that dog?" Kimo teased.

Porter was as attached to the animal as any pet owner could be without becoming obsessive and Kimo's jest riled him. "Shut up, Kimo."

"God damned your touchy lately," Rasta laughed as he saw Porter stare down Kimo with what had to be called a threatening gaze.

The doors to the office opened and Rude stepped out. He knew that Kimo and Rasta never let Porter have a moment's peace and suspected that they had already offended him. Rude turned to his associates. "You guys get to stay here for two more hours. The President will leave after the Consulate from Gongaga arrives."

Rasta and Kimo produced a unison moan of disappointment. Standing outside the doors for another two hours wasn't appealing, and Kimo spoke up, "How come you're taking off then?"

Rude smiled as he turned to his friend. "Because I am a senior officer and I get to do what I want. See you tomorrow."

With that, Rude and Porter stepped onto the elevator and headed to the lobby.

Rude examined Porter thoughtfully before speaking. "What did the son of a bitch do now?"

Porter looked down at his dog. "What do you assume that it has anything to do with Hojo?"

"Because it always has something to do with Hojo," Rude sighed. "The only other things that would have you so upset would be your dog dying and he's obviously fine, or Rayna leaving you and then you'd be crying."

"Oh…" Porter never ceased to be amazed at Rude's deduction skills. That is why the older man had made such a great Turk all these years. "Let's get to the bar first, all right?"

Rude knew that if it was horrible enough to require the young man to drink it must be _very_ bad. He didn't have the patience to wait that long and pried on. "Don't tell me that you're upset over what he's doing to Tifa and Vincent."

"No, that's not it." The fact that what the madman _had_ done to them was bothering him showed. The vision of Vincent strapped to the table missing most of his body was going to haunt him for sometime to come. But that wasn't the main problem. "It involves Rayna."

Rude was dumbstruck. The fact that Hojo would mess with Porter's girlfriend was over the top, although not out of character for the scientist. "What did he do to her?"

"Please wait until we get out of this building first. I don't feel comfortable talking about it here." Porter's voice was barely a whisper.

Rude pursed his lips and grew silent. He knew that it wouldn't be out of the question for Hojo to have bugs on the elevator. He spent the rest of the trip to the lobby without any more words.

They got into Porter's car in the parking structure across the street and rode to their favorite bar a few miles away. They arrived and took up a dark booth in the corner. The owners of this establishment didn't give Porter any grief about being accompanied by his canine. If they were to get busted, a dog was going to be the least of their worries.

The barmaid brought Rude his typical beer and Porter ordered a whiskey sour. Once he was handed his drink, Porter downed it quickly and asked for another.

Rude had never seen his friend drink like that and grew concerned. "So what is it?"

Porter shoved his empty glass to the edge of the table and sighed. "He's put some sort of implant into Rayna that will kill her if anything happens to him. He said he did it to assure my loyalty."

Rude was quiet for a moment. "Damn man, I'm sorry."

Porter glanced around the room in paranoia. "The guy he's got in the lab said he could help me."

"Who? Vincent?" Rude knitted his brows.

"Yeah, he said that ASRIO could help Rayna and I think I'm going to take his offer." Porter brought his teary eyes up to meet Rude's.

"Hold up there, Porter." Rude pointed an accusatory finger across the table. "Vincent is in no position to be offering you anything. You can't trust him."

"I don't see that I have a choice!" Porter put his elbows onto the table. "I think Hojo is going to let Tifa go soon, and she will be able to get in contact with ASRIO for me. If they can help Rayna, then I have to take their offer! I can't let her die!"

"But she'll only die if something _happens _to Hojo," Rude corrected. "You don't think anything _is _going to happen to him, do you?"

Porter's own desire to kill the scientist caused his face to flush. "You know as well as I do that there are a million people out to get him. It's only a matter of time before someone takes him out, or at least tries to."

"But going to the enemy for help? Think about what you're saying! Ain't no girl worth that! I already watched my old friend Reno pull that shit, and I am not going to let you do it too!" Rude's long suppressed anger flared.

"Reno?" Porter sat upright, recognizing the name. "Reno was a Turk?"

"You're damn right he was." Rude took another swig of his beer. "And a damned good one, but his girlfriend, also a former Turk convinced him to not reenlist after the reformation of the Turks. They killed her and that's when he joined ASRIO."

Porter was taken aback by Rude's display of emotion. He had never seen the older man show such strong feelings. "I didn't know that he was a Turk."

"Well, he was." Rude polished off the remainder of his beer. "There's got to be another way to help Rayna that doesn't involve them. I don't trust Tseng."

"Tseng being the leader of ASRIO?" Porter already knew the answer.

"Right, and also a former Turk." Rude laid his bottle on its side and slowly spun it.

Porter knew at least that much. Despite what Rude was feeling, Porter still felt that ASRIO was his best chance at helping Rayna. "What else could I do?"

Rude thought for a moment. "I don't know, but if you screw this up, I know what's going to happen to you, and that is not something I would like."

Again, the vision of Vincent in the lab reared its head and Porter felt a chill on his skin. But just as Vincent had gotten himself into his present situation over a woman, Porter was quickly heading down that same path. Saving Rayna's life was his only concern.

Rude could see the thoughts playing out in his friend's mind and knew that this argument was going to be a losing battle. "Just please be careful."

A few hours later Porter was driving through the streets of the town. He had already dropped Rude off at home and it was getting to be late. With as much as he had drunk at the bar he really had no business driving, but with his heartache his judgement was impaired. Finally deciding that he couldn't stand it any more, he drove to Rayna's place and went up to her door.

She answered after a few moments, clearly relived to see Porter standing there with D. "I tried to call you after work, but you weren't home."

He stepped in and took her in his arms. The tears that he had been holding back made their way out. He buried his face in the nape of her neck and his body was wracked with sobs. "Oh Rayna…"

"What's wrong?" She immediately filled with concern, not knowing what could be making him so upset. It wasn't like him to cry and she grew afraid. Rayna could smell the alcohol on him, but knew that even when drunk this wasn't how the Turk would behave.

There was no way that he could tell her what the problem was. It would just upset her, and that was something he couldn't bear to do. He held her tighter. "I love you so much…"

His words combined with his emotional state burned into her heart_. Could he really be this worked up over his feelings for me?_ "I love you, too."

He straightened up and gazed down into her eyes. Porter couldn't think of how he had managed to live for twenty-six years without her in his life, and he knew he most certainly couldn't go on with out her. "No, I really love you… more than anything."

She smiled and reached up wiping the tears from his face. Even in his disheveled and emotional state he was a very beautiful man and she was lost in his evergreen eyes. "Porter…"

He could sense some small change in her composure and made a primal realization. She was going to give herself to him for the first time. Porter soon felt her lips burning upon his and he closed his eyes. Rayna had just finished a glass of red wine before his arrival, and he could taste it upon her tongue.

Rayna was filled with both anticipation and nervousness. She had always been a little afraid of sex. She had only ever done it once back in high school, and that had been such an awkward and painful experience that she had avoided it ever since. With trembling hands she pushed his overcoat and suit jacket from his shoulders.

Porter had been waiting for this since the first time they had gone out and was in some measure of shock that it was finally going to happen. Although he was more experienced at this than his mate, he was still by no means an expert and too was nervous about his performance. Things had never worked out for him romance novel style to say the least. His fingers worked slowly to undo the eight buttons that held her blouse closed.

Rayna stepped back for a moment and dropped her gaze to the ground. "Porter?"

He filled with fear that she was changing her mind. "Yes?"

"Let's go back to my room. I can't do this with D looking." A faint smile graced her lips.

Porter looked over to see the dog sitting a short distance away staring at them with his short tail wagging. He laughed to himself, "Oh, yeah, it is a little weird…"

Rayna looked up at him with bright eyes and took his hand, leading him to her bedroom. The dog tried to follow, but Porter quickly shut the door locking his canine out in the hall. Porter turned back to Rayna with a slight frown.

"What?" she asked, dimming the lights.

"I think this is the first time I've been separated from him since finding him," Porter mused.

Rayna knew this was true as the dog even seemed to always follow him into the bathroom. "I think he'll live."

AN: If you read the original version of this chapter, then you will notice that something is missing. I had to tone it down, just a little. Sorry if anyone is bothered by that… but the graphic nature of what had been here wasn't consistant with the rest of the story. The original version of this chapter can still be found at my website: 


	86. Technical Difficulty

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXXVI

Technical Difficulty

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Author's Note: Hi there, me again. Just writing to say that I am _really _sorry about that last chapter…It was a little out of character for me to produce something quite like _that._ I don't know what got into me, but it was a distraction from the lab scenes wasn't it? I did not mean to offend anybody, but it will stay up as is. It's my story! Sigh…

Reno sat in the chopper, slouched into his seat. Angel was directly to his right and he had her hand in his as she sat answering the questions presented to her by the other team members. She had been doing an impressive job of not letting her feelings show through, but every so often her hand would tighten around his, letting him know that she needed him.

Jaras paid absolutely no heed to the actions or words of the others in the helicopter. He was huddled up in the corner with his sword resting across his knees and a book in his hands. His eyes narrowed behind his readin glasses as he scanned over the lines written within it, attempting to distract himself from the up coming task. The truth was he didn't have much luck remembering what he was reading, as his mind was distraught over the plight of those he was supposed to go help. Jaras didn't have the slightest idea what he was in for and deep down he was extremely nervous, but no one watching him would have any idea about his anxiety.

Reno had almost lulled himself to sleep with the constant drone of the chopper's rotor and gentle rattle of the machine when a sudden jolt caused him to jump. He had sat up and listened not hearing anything else odd and decided to resume his attempt to relax. Then the chopper again was shaken violently. 

Reno, growing annoyed with this repeated distraction from his nap rose from his seat and slipped up into the cockpit with the pilot. He picked up the headset sitting in the vacant co-pilot seat and sat down. "What the fuck is going on, Brad?"

The old veteran huffed and waved his hand at the control panel. "Something's wrong with her, we're gonna have to set her down now that we're back over land."

Reno scowled and looked out the window, seeing that they were flying above the beach to the west of Midgar. "We can't delay the mission!"

"You want to get there or not?" Brad flipped up the visor of his pilot's helmet and looked Reno in the eye. "I can't risk smacking her into the ground if this problem gets worse."

"Shit." Reno stood back up and threw the headset down into the seat. Any delay at this point could be fatal for Tifa and Vincent, and he had no idea what Hojo had planned for them. He got back to his place beside Angel and waved to draw everyone's attention. "Strap in, we're having an emergency landing."

Everyone could tell by Reno's tone that he was unusually serious, and they did as ordered. Even Jaras sat down his book, suddenly expressing some concern.

Despite the problems Brad was having with the bird, he managed to set it down as gingerly as ever. Once the helicopter was on the ground and the engines cut, Reno threw open the door and hopped out, spotting Brad emerging from the cockpit door. "What's the problem?"

Brad looked deep in thought and walked right past Reno. He reached out and let his hand run over the metal of the hull as he strode towards the tail. Reno followed knowing that the old man wouldn't respond until he was damn good and ready.

Brad stared up at the tail rotor and crossed his arms over his chest. After a few moments he went over and popped open a panel on the underside of the tail section. He reached up inside and frowned. "Aw, Hell."

"What?" Reno went closer.

Brad pulled his hand back out, reveling that the tips of his fingers were covered in some viscous amber fluid. "She's bleeding out. Hydraulic line to the tail's busted."

This meant little to Reno and he furrowed his brow. "So how long 'til we get back in the air?"

"I've got everything I need to take care of this, but it's gonna take several hours." Brad sighed, stepping back.

"We don't have that kind of time!" Reno threw his arms into the air, feeling supreme aggravation.

"Reno, she's old." Brad wiped his greasy fingers onto his flight jacket. "She was flying for the military before you were born, and she deserves a little respect. She may be tired, but she's never let us down and she won't now, but she's gonna need a little attention. Give me the time I need and I'll get you to Midgar."

Reno dropped his gaze to the ground, knowing that his impatience was offending the old man. "Okay, I have a second plan."

"Let's hear it." Brad looked back up into the tail hatch.

"There's a small resort town about a half mile from here. Me and the others will go rent a car and drive into town. We'll get to Midgar by morning, probably about the same time you get flying again. We'll settle in near the Shin Ra building and wait for nightfall. Once it's dark, we will carry on the mission as we were going to do tonight." Reno didn't like the idea of the plan being delayed, but he had no other choice, and this would at least give them a chance to stake out the Shin Ra building.

Brad nodded. "Fine, that'll give me plenty of time. Call me when you get ready to go in, so I know when to pick you guys off the roof."

Reno knew that he really should run the plan by Angel first since she was in tactics, but he had by now decided to completely take over all aspects of the mission. "Okay, I'll tell the others and we will be on our way."


	87. Hojo's Donation

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXXVII

Hojo's Donation

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Okay, back into the lab we go. Boy, if you didn't like Hojo before, just wait…

Tifa woke up shivering and in a large amount of pain. She was back in her room, laid across her bed with some tattered and blood stained sheet offering her only protecting from the cold she felt. The pain in her abdomen was intense, approaching the agony she had felt when she had miscarried her baby. There were only two small incisions; one just under her navel and the other above her bikini line. The pain she was in was due to the scientist's carelessness in allowing large gas pockets to remain within her abdomen after removing the laprascope. It even seemed to travel up her back making a dull ache in her shoulders. In a few hours the gas would be absorbed by her body and the pain would subside, but for now Tifa was pretty sure she was going to die.

Despite her pain, horrible chill, and nausea she felt she managed to sit up. Her world spun as she did so and she grasped desperately at the edge of the bed to keep from keeling over. Once she had her bearings about her again, she gazed around the room. The chair that had last been occupied by Cloud's limp body was vacant, and Tifa was relieved to be freed of the dead man's visage for the moment. On the floor next to her bed her clothes had been tossed, and she carefully slid off the bed to retrieve them. As she stooped to pick them up and incredible wave of nausea swept over her and she couldn't suppress her need to vomit. Fortunately she had the forethought to turn her head as not to soil her clothes as the scant contents of her stomach were regurgitated. Having thrown up, she felt a little better and managed to get her outfit off the floor.

Tifa dressed slowly, hoping that by doing so she could ward off her chill and curb any further humiliation. After pulling on her pants, she discovered much to her dismay that she wasn't able to button the fly, as the pressure it exuded on her belly was too painful.

Finally dressed to the best of her ability, Tifa sat back on the edge of the bed with her arms wrapped around herself. Slouched over in her misery, Tifa closed her eyes and concentrated, listening for any sounds from Vincent but heard none. Her first instinct was to fear that he was dead but she had to push back these feelings for her own sake. Maybe he was just sleeping or like herself, being quiet in hopes of hearing anything from her. This last thought made her want to scream out in an attempt to solicit a response but she had neither the strength nor will. If she did yell out and there was no answer, Tifa felt she would lose her mind.

What seemed to be a few hours passed by with Tifa just attempting to find positions to lay in that were comfortable after her surgery, but she wasn't having much luck. She found herself on her side looking away from the door when she heard it open. Tifa didn't need to look to realize that it was Hojo.

He walked right over to her bedside with a small tray in his hands. The scientist was pleased to see that she had managed to dress herself, but when he realized that he was standing in a small pool of drying vomit he frowned. "A little post anesthesia sickness, I see. I expected as much and brought you something for it."

Tifa neither turned to look at him nor respond.

He went over and set the tray on the counter by the sink and picked up a small paper cup from it along with a white cellophane package. Hojo returned to her side, this time the direction she was facing. "I have brought you something for you stomach."

Tifa glared up at him, but the thought of having _anything_ to drink right now was appealing, as her throat was very dry. Feebly she reached out and accepted the cup. She sat up enough to drink and brought the cup to her lips. Thankfully it was nothing more that some clear citrus flavored soda and she sipped at it, not wanting to take so much down at once as to make her sick again.

Hojo smiled, pleased that she was doing as he wished. He extended the package in his hand out to her. "Some crackers. Eat them when you feel up to it."

Knowing that she would need something in her stomach to go with the drink, she accepted the package of crackers and laid them on the bed next to her.

"You will be pleased to know that the procedure was a success, Mrs. Valentine." Hojo grinned, quite pleased with himself. "You were most generous with the number of eggs you gave to the project. I will be collecting my own gametes soon and then I can get to the task of creating the embryo of our new child. How do you feel about becoming a mother?"

Tifa closed her eyes, her emotional pain over his words for the moment surpassing that of her body. "Had I the opportunity, I would kill it before it had a chance for you to begin torturing it."

Hojo cocked an eyebrow. "That is not a particularly maternal statement, Mrs. Valentine."

"I won't be its mother. A mother is someone who raises and tends her child. You will never even allow me to see it. You're going to kill me before it's even created." Tifa threw down the rest of her drink and rolled onto her other side.

Hojo laughed to himself. "You are quite the pessimist, aren't you? Wait just a moment, I have something I want to show you."

Tifa had her eyes closed again and she heard him walk from the room. After a few minutes he came back. 

"Here, Mrs. Valentine. This is your ticket to freedom." Hojo said.

Tifa opened her eyes seeing that Hojo was holding out a black plastic garbage bag to her. She could only imagine what was wrapped up within it, and felt no desire to take it from him. "What it that?"

"Go on, have a look." Hojo held it out closer to her.

Reluctantly Tifa took it, surprised by the weight of whatever was in it. Through the plastic she felt something cold, like packaged meat from the butcher shop. She sat it down on the bed next to her and slowly began to work open the knot at the top of the bag. Hojo stood watching the activity with a most amused expression.

Once the bag was opened, the scent of blood met Tifa's nose and her hands began to shake. Now she was growing terrified of what she was about to see. When the plastic bag was finally pushed back enough, Tifa stared for several seconds. She recognized what it was, but refuse to accept the truth immediately. As the undeniable realization that she was looking at Vincent's disembodied arm hit her, Tifa screamed and shot up from the bed. The jolt of her movement caused the bag to fall to the floor and Tifa darted over to the toilet knowing that she was going to vomit again.

Hojo squealed with delight at her reaction, and strode over to where she was retching into the commode. "I told you that he promised me that arm in exchange for your freedom. You should be touched by his selfless act of kindness."

Tifa grabbed a handful of toilet paper and wiped her lips after the soda she had taken just was purged from her. She slowly stood up and turned to face Hojo. "Is he alive?"

"Of course he's alive. A simple amputation done properly is nothing life threatening." Hojo pushed his glasses up his nose as if he was relating the most mundane fact in the world. He caught sight of her fist clenching and raised his hand. "Don't even think about it, Mrs. Valentine. He already had to endure losing his arm without the benefit of anesthesia thanks to the little trick you pulled with Cloud. There may not be much left of him, but I'm sure I could still find ways to make his stay most unpleasant."

Tifa crumpled to her knees and began to cry. She didn't know what to do, and feared doing anything that might cause the madman to do any more to Vincent. "I want to be alone."

Hojo nodded and turned away. He went and retrieved the bag containing Vincent's arm from the floor and tied it back close. "You will be escorted from the building tomorrow morning. Porter will take you to the train station and buy you a ticket to wherever it is you wish to go. So, Mrs. Valentine, I bid you farewell."

Tifa watched him retreat through her tear filled eyes, somehow knowing that she hadn't seen the last of him.

***

Hojo went straight from Tifa's room to Vincent's. He needed to proceed with the next step of the project.

Vincent's head was hung as he was still unconscious from his would be surgery several hours before. Hojo dropped the bag containing Vincent's severed arm in the corner and then stood looking at him thoughtfully for several minutes.

The feeling alone of Hojo staring at him caused Vincent to slowly come around. He lifted his head up but kept his eyes closed. There was a horrible dull pain in his right shoulder and it felt like every nerve in his arm was going off all at once. Vincent recognized the sensation from the time that his left arm had been removed, and he didn't need to look to know that it was gone.

Hojo smiled to himself upon seeing Vincent stir. "Mr. Valentine, I'm so glad to see you've decided to rejoin us this evening."

Vincent finally opened his eyes and stared over at the scientist. He kept his gaze locked on the madman to prevent himself from looking to his mangled right shoulder. His first concern was the well being of his wife. "How's Tifa?"

Hojo seemed to brighten at what he translated to be interest in the project. "Ah, her donation of gametes went very well, and she has apparently recovered. That is why I am here, actually."

Vincent was confused. "What?"

"Well, now that I have her gametes," Hojo reached back and locked the door, "I need to collect some of my own to create the embryo. I have several frozen samples I could use, but we all know that fresh _is _best."

Vincent felt a sickness rise up within him. He had a very good idea of where this was going and he didn't want to be a part of it. Without realizing it, he knitted his brows donning an expression of duress.

Hojo casually went over to a counter and picked up a sterile plastic container. He removed the lid to it and turned to Vincent. "I couldn't help but notice something as I examined Tifa during her procedure. It looked as though she has suffered some very severe trauma to her genitalia recently. Quite a number of lacerations and sutures and it made me start to wonder."

Vincent cringed as Hojo came closer with the small plastic cup in hand. Anger flared up within him to think that Hojo had touched and 'examined' Tifa to discover the wounds she still bore from Chaos's rape.

The table that Vincent was on suddenly began to recline somewhat until he was leaning back at about a forty-five-degree incline. Vincent rested his head back, finding himself staring up at the ceiling. Suddenly Hojo appeared in his line of sight, looming over him. All Vincent was able to see of the madman was from the waist up as the table itself obscured the rest of him.

Hojo smiled down widely at Vincent. "I started to think that those injuries must have come from you and what I had left you equipped with after our last time together. Am I right?"

Vincent closed his eyes, refusing to answer. He could hear Hojo shifting his clothes underneath the table, and when he heard the faint sound of a zipper his nausea worsened.

"Now, Mr. Valentine, I'm going to need you to help me out here. If I ask you a question, you will answer, and if I ask you to do something, you will comply. Tifa is still here, and if you anger me by continued disobedience, then I will have to take back my promise to let her go unharmed." Hojo leaned down just a little closer to Vincent's face. "So again, I will ask you, are those injuries from you fucking her?"

Vincent drew in a jagged breath. "Yes."

A slight hint of color came to Hojo's cheeks, and the corner of his mouth twitched as he licked his lips. "Very good, I can't believe she would let you, but then again, there must be something wrong with her on some level to be with you in the first place. Does she like to be hurt, is that it?"

"No." Vincent turned his head away, not wanting to look at the scientist anymore.

"So you hurt her without meaning to?" Hojo's breaths were drawn in shorter gasps. "How could you do that to the woman you supposedly love?"

"It was Chaos." Vincent answered curtly.

"Oh, I see." There was a several second lapse before Hojo continued his interrogation. "So before that you were able to copulate with her without injuring her?"

Vincent struggled pathetically against the restraints holding his body to the table. Even if he managed to free himself he would simply fall to the floor unable to escape.

"Mr. Valentine, I will not tell you again. Cooperate." There was a sweat beginning to break across Hojo's face. "Answer the question."

"Yes." He continued to look away.

"Very interesting." Hojo had both hands under the table. One holding the plastic cup, the other gliding slowly over his erection. "Although I had the opportunity, you will be pleased to know that I didn't fuck your wife like you did mine. It was more a matter of science than self-restraint that kept me from doing so. I couldn't just go wasting my precious sample with a pointless little diversion like her. So tell me, how did it feel when I was cutting off your arm?"

To hear that Hojo hadn't raped Tifa was little consolation to Vincent in his present situation. "It hurt."

"Hmmm…" Hojo's voice trembled. "Was the pain exquisite?"

Vincent didn't quite understand how this line of questioning was so exciting to the scientist. "Yes."

Hojo leaned closer to Vincent, his face now just inches from his own. "Look at me, Mr. Valentine."

Vincent turned his head back, finding Hojo's lips hovering uncomfortably close to his own. "What?"

The scientist's mouth twitched again, almost pulling up into a smile. He reached over and set the plastic cup onto one of Vincent's life support machines and then brought his free hand up to Vincent's face.

Vincent's blood ran cold as he felt the sensation of the scientist's fingers brushing over his cheek. His instinct was to turn away again, but he couldn't risk doing anything that might cause Tifa to suffer further. He had already sworn to himself that he would do _anything_ to help her escape with her life.

Hojo was pleased to see Vincent not shy away from this touch, and he allowed his finger to come to Vincent's lips. "Take it."

Vincent's stomach turned as he felt Hojo's finger slide into his mouth. He had to struggle desperately from breaking into dry heaves knowing that Hojo would grow angry.

This complete display of submission from Vincent was absolutely enthralling to the madman. "Mr. Valentine… if I didn't think that you would bite me, or risk losing my sample, I would definitely put something else in there."

Unable to stop himself, Vincent violently turned his head away, ejecting the intruder from his mouth. He closed his eyes, wishing for impossible escape.

Hojo's now freed hand flew back over and picked up the plastic cup. It was getting close now, despite Vincent's difficult behavior. "Mr. Valentine, look at me!"

Vincent didn't react quickly enough.

"Look at me!" Hojo shouted directly into Vincent's ear.

Vincent brought his face back to Hojo's, his eyes alight with his hatred of the man.

Hojo's whole body seemed to tremble. "I'm going to do something, and you'd better reciprocate."

Vincent let out a small cry as he felt Hojo's lips cover his own. Gathering every ounce of strength that he had left, Vincent forced himself to give in, feeling Hojo's tongue invade his mouth. Although it really only lasted for a few seconds, to Vincent it seemed an eternity. 

Hojo's body jerked and the quiet sound of his seed being shot into the container could be heard. Hojo pulled away, gasping for air. He brought up the container from beneath the table and held it up for inspection. "Look at that, eleven milliliters. I think that is a new record for me."

Vincent, suddenly caught the scent of semen and faced with the container of Hojo's sample could no longer control himself and broke into a bout of dry heaves.

Hojo got his clothing back in order and stepped away. He picked up the lid to the container and secured it. "Well, I have to get this started right away, so I'll be leaving. Thank you, Mr. Valentine."

Vincent barely noticed as Hojo left, still trying to regain control over his stomach. Tears of humiliation burst forth as the memory of Hojo masturbating next to him was forever burned into his memory.


	88. Deal

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXXVIII

Deal

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

My intent is not to drive the reader crazy. I swear it.

Tifa opened her eyes, realizing that she was lying on the floor next to the toilet. She had passed out there the night before after Hojo had left, from a combination of her pain and anguish. Someone reached out and rocked her gently. "Mrs. Valentine, it's time to go now."

She blinked off the last of her sleep and struggled to sit up. Her body was incredibly sore from having spent untold hours on the cold concrete and her abdomen still was cramped from the procedure. She felt a strong arm around her and was lifted easily to her feet. Tifa turned to see who was helping her. Her brow furrowed upon seeing that it was the Turk that Hojo had shoot Vincent the other day. "You!"

Porter raised his hands in defense. "I'm just here to get you to the train station, that's all. I won't hurt you."

She shoved the man away from her. "You hurt Vincent! Get away from me!"

Upon seeing his master touched in such a manner, D leapt up from Porter's side and stood between Tifa and his owner. D's lip was curled and his rumbling growl filled the room. 

Porter was touched by his pet's defensiveness but knew this wasn't the time for it. "D! Stop it and lay down." 

The dog quickly did as ordered.

"Mrs. Valentine, please." Porter crossed his arms over his chest. He needed to get her to trust him so that she wouldn't give him any trouble, and so he could ask her something important. "I have to do what I'm ordered. You know the Professor is insane. If I disobey something terrible will happen."

"And shooting an unarmed and incapacitated man _isn't _terrible?" Tifa narrowed her eyes at him, her words laced with venom.

"I didn't want to do it, I _had _to." Porter let his arms fall back to his sides, his face donning an expression of remorse. "Let's go, there is something we need to discuss."

Tifa was intrigued at what there could possibly be for Hojo's lackey to talk to her about. The realization that he wasn't a cold-blooded Turk was becoming clear. She could see something very painful hidden behind his green eyes. For some reason, she was going to give him the benefit of the doubt, but the second he did anything to make her suspicious she would turn on him. "Hojo is really letting me go?"

Porter shrugged. "Yes, and it's not like him to do so but he said that Vincent had _bought_ your escape. I don't know what that means and I don't think I want to."

Tifa felt bile rise up in her throat at the memory she carried from the day before. "He gave me Vincent's arm in a garbage bag."

"I said I didn't want to know." Porter's gaze dropped to the floor and his lips turned to a disgusted frown.

Seeing that Porter was actually disturbed by what she had related, Tifa's empathy deepened for him slightly. She truly started to believe that she was leaving the lab with the Turk's escort. Only by escaping from here and getting a hold of Tseng or Reno would she be able to help Vincent. "If you're getting me the hell out of here, then let's go."

Porter grabbed her lightly by the arm and started walking. His attempted pace was just slightly faster than she could manage in her current state and to all those who saw them pass down the hall it looked as though she was being forcefully dragged.

They got onto the elevator and found themselves alone. Porter released his hold on her. Tifa rubbed where he had been gripping her. "You said you wanted to discuss something?"

Porter looked down at his dog, feeling ashamed at what he was about to request. "I need the help of ASRIO."

The thought that he may be trying to lead her into a trap crossed her mind briefly but was dissolved as she saw the look on his face. "Why?"

"Hojo's done something to my girlfriend." Porter looked up to gaze into Tifa's eyes, hoping that she would see his sincerity. "He's put some sort of implant into her and if he dies, she will too. Vincent told me that you might be able to help me."

Tifa narrowed her eyes in thought. She wasn't immediately inclined to rush to this stranger's aid. "And if we do help her?"

"Once I don't have to worry about anything happening to Rayna if Hojo is harmed, I'll do whatever your friends want in order to help free Vincent." Porter made his offer flatly.

Tifa was silent as the elevator made the rest of the trip to the bottom floor. She knew that it wasn't beyond reason for a Turk to be trying to manipulate her and she didn't want to respond prematurely. Then again, he could be their best chance at getting Vincent out of Hojo's grip alive if he was telling the truth. Somehow Tifa knew that he wasn't trying to fool her.

***

Reno and the other team members managed to get a car and drive into Midgar. Angel as he had expected had protested his unilateral change of plan, but after he explained how this would give them a chance to stake out the building before invading she reluctantly agreed. They made the several hour drive to town in the sedan that Reno had rented. He wanted to get another sports car like the last time, but in light of the fact that he had to transport four other people besides himself forced him to get the larger auto. Reno was driving of course, and Angel was in the front passenger seat. From right to left Morris, Ericson, and Jaras took up the back seat. Jaras was still absorbed in his book and was crunched up into the corner as best he could, trying to avoid all contact with the man next to him.

It was early morning by the time that they got to Midgar. Reno knew that there was a large hotel cattycorner to the Shin Ra building and that is where he drove to. He and his entourage walked into the lobby of the hotel and he requested a room facing the Shin Ra building. Fortunately, they had such a room available on the second floor and they went up to it.

Reno assigned everyone a two-hour watch out the window to keep count of the number of Turks and guards that both entered and exited the building. This way they would have at least some idea of what they were up against come nightfall. Naturally, Reno assigned the first shift to Jaras, and the last to himself.

Jaras sat straining his eyes to see those that passed through the distant doors of the large building, occasionally making a mark on the notepad he held in his hands.

When the two hours were up, Reno looked over to find that Angel who had volunteered for the second shift had fallen asleep on one of the two beds in the room. Knowing that she was exhausted from being up all night while in the car, Reno decided to be a bigger man and accept her term at stakeout. 

Reno stood up slowly from the edge of the bed, not wishing to jar Angel awake. He had been watching some terrible low budget action movie on the television and was reluctant to miss the ending, irregardless of how obvious the ending would be. Reno walked over to where Jaras sat and plucked the notepad from his hands. "My turn."

Jaras cocked an eyebrow. "I thought you were intentionally going last in hopes that it would be dark by the time your shift came around so you wouldn't have to do this."

Reno was a little irked at Jaras's correct assumption. "Shut up and move."

Jaras shrugged and got up from his seat, moving over to a chair in the corner where he could resume reading in peace.

No sooner than Reno had looked out did he see a Turk walking from the entrance. He was intrigued to see that he was pulling along a female behind him. Suddenly, he recognized the woman for who it was. "Holy shit! It's Tifa!"

Jaras ran over and looked down to where Reno was staring. "It is… Where is he taking her?"

"I don't care. Come on." Reno threw down the notebook and moved toward the door.

Jaras followed as ordered.

Angel managed to sleep through the occasion, but Ericson and Morris jumped to their feet in an attempt to follow.

Reno waved back at them. "No, you two stay here. If anything happens to us, you'll have to carry out the mission tonight."

The two men grudgingly agreed to stay behind, but went to the window to keep an eye over the situation.

Reno and Jaras ran down the hall, opting to take the stairs as opposed to waiting for the elevator. They were still dressed as Turks, and drew leery glances from those they passed as they bolted through the lobby and out onto the street.

They spotted Tifa and her escort not too far from where they had seen them from the window. Tifa was still in a fair amount of discomfort and was making her way behind Porter rather slowly despite the fact he still held her by the arm and tugged her along. He was trying to get her away from the Shin Ra building as quickly as possible, fearing that at any moment Hojo would change his mind. Reno and Jaras finally caught up with them at the corner.

Porter looked at the two would be Turks in confusion. "Do I know you?"

Tifa brought her gaze up and realized who they were. "Oh God, Reno! I thought you were dead!"

Reno smiled widely at her, relieved to see she was more or less all right. Jaras stood next to him in silence, somewhat hurt that she hadn't even seemed to notice him.

Porter was stunned as he recognized Reno. Being confronted by two ASRIO agents on the street in broad daylight was something he had never imagined. In his shock he released his grip on Tifa.

She ripped away from him and threw herself into Reno's arms. "I'm so happy you're here…"

Porter stared on, knowing that he still needed to negotiate for their help. "Mrs. Valentine, about helping me…"

Reno scowled at the Turk. "Help you? Fuck off."

Tifa looked back over her shoulder at Porter. "Where is she?"

"Bullshit, quit talking to him, Tifa." Reno huffed, pulling Tifa closer to him.

Tifa could see the desperation in Porter's eyes and her heart went out to him. "We can get the implant out of her. They got one out of me."

Reno started to turn away, attempting to cut off the conversation. He pulled Tifa along with him. "Fuck him, Tifa. Let's go."

Tifa couldn't risk losing this chance to help Vincent and she wrenched herself free of Reno's hold. "No, if we help him he'll help us!"

"No way, Tifa." Reno furrowed his brow and looked down at her. "He's a fucking Turk."

"So were _you_." Tifa narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. She wasn't going to give up.

Her simple yet true statement hit him hard and he was dumbstruck as she turned back to Porter. All Reno could manage to do was look back at Jaras who gave him a strange grin. Jaras was pleased by her win of the showdown with Reno.

"Porter, where is she?" Tifa took a step closer to the Turk.

"She's up in her office. I drove her to work today." Porter looked up at the skyscraper as if he could spot her from the ground, and a blush came to his cheeks as he recalled _why _he had brought her.

"Get her to come with us." Tifa didn't know what she would do once they had Rayna, but getting her away from Shin Ra would be better than anything.

Porter reached into his pocket and tried to grab his phone. He found the end of Reno's night staff placed lightly beneath his chin before he could get it.

Reno frowned, his finger hovering over the button that would send an incapacitating shock through the Turk. "Watch it."

Porter felt a cold sweat break across his skin. "I'm just getting my phone."

Reno let the staff fall away, not trusting the man before him. "Don't try anything."

Porter looked at Reno with annoyance as he finally managed to retrieve his phone. He hit a speed dial button and was relieved when Rayna answered on the first ring. 

"Shin Ra, Rayna in accounting speaking."

"Hey, it's me." Porter turned away from his watchers, wanting at least some measure of privacy. He knew he needed to watch what he said as it was certain that Hojo would be able to listen in on this conversation if he so chose. "I need you to come outside for a minute. Some friends of mine just came into town and I literally ran into them. I want them to meet you."

"Uh, okay. It's time for my break anyway. Where exactly are you?" Rayna asked, she could be heard shuffling papers in the background.

"The corner west of the door." Porter smiled that she was coming.

"Okay." She hung up.

Porter tucked the phone back away. "She's on her way."

Tifa turned to Reno. "Is Angel here?"

"Back at the hotel." He replied, wondering what she was up to.

"Porter, there is someone here who might be able to get Rayna's implant out if it's simple enough." Tifa was hoping that the implant wouldn't be buried too deeply.

Reno reached out and pulled Tifa back to him. "What are you doing? He could be setting us up! For all you know he just called up thirty guards to come down here and make up nothing more than stains on the sidewalk!"

Tifa's eyes blazed. "Reno, please! I know what I'm doing!"

"For your sake I hope you're right." Reno said, letting go of her.


	89. Free Time

Guilt's Cost: Part LXXXIX

Free Time

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Hojo had spent the better part of the morning working at his microscope, examining the progress of the embryos he had created the night before. Everything seemed to be going well and it wouldn't be long before he could place the most promising of his specimens in the accelerator he had set up in his more secure lab location on the plate amongst the solar panels. Very few people even knew about the existence of this second Midgar lab and Hojo preferred it that way. It was his own private retreat, where the most secret of his projects took place. Not even ASRIO knew of this other facility. The only people that had ever gone up there besides Hojo himself were President Harwin and his three personal guards, and Porter.

He had sent Porter off to escort Tifa to the train station and found himself alone in the lab. Hojo pushed his chair back from the microscope and took off his glasses for a moment. After rubbing his eyes briefly he put back on his glasses and stood up needing to do something else for a while. It would be several more hours before the embryos would be ready to transport up to the other lab for acceleration and Hojo found himself with some free time. He looked over toward the door to Vincent's room and a smile came to his lips. He knew exactly what he could do to pass the time…

Vincent had been attempting in vain to get some much-needed sleep, but it wasn't working. The pain in his right shoulder wasn't going to allow him a moment's rest and when the door to his room opened, he looked up with exhausted eyes. Upon seeing that it was Hojo, Vincent quickly looked away. A while before, Porter had popped in for a moment to tell him that he was personally going to be taking Tifa out of the lab. Vincent had been relieved to hear this, believing that the Turk was telling him the truth. Now knowing that Tifa was at a safe distance, Vincent no longer needed to bend to the madman's every wish. If this meant that Vincent would lose his own life through disobedience, then so be it.

Hojo walked up to Vincent smiling and came to a stop next to one of the several machines hooked up to him at the moment. "How does this morning find you, Mr. Valentine?"

Vincent's only response was to tense his jaw muscles, aching to rip the scientist apart.

"Oh, back to the silent treatment, I see." Hojo's smile faltered momentarily. "You will be pleased to know that I have set your little bird free."

Already knowing this, Vincent again didn't respond.

Hojo took this lack of expression as a sign of disbelief. "You doubt my honesty? I did let Tifa go."

Vincent turned his head to look at Hojo. "I know she's out of here. My only question is why in the hell are you keeping me alive?"

Hojo raised his eyebrows upon hearing Vincent's first words of the day. "Why am I keeping you? Because I'm not done with you yet. There are things I need to finish with you, Mr. Valentine. And because I can't think of not having you here with me."

There was something very wrong in the tone Hojo used during the last sentence, and Vincent felt a chill on his skin. _Oh my God, he's in love with me…_

Hojo licked his lips upon picking up on Vincent's thoughts. "Yes, Mr. Valentine, I let you get away from me once, and I can't stand the thought of that happening again. Now, I do have to go to another location off site for a few days, but before I go, I need to do some things for you. When I return we are going to have a _lot _of fun, I assure you."

Vincent turned his gaze back down to the floor, no longer able to stand looking at him. As much as he desperately wanted to get out of this lab, he hoped that Tifa wasn't going to risk her life trying to get him out. He wondered if Reno and the other ASRIO team members had survived and escaped. These thoughts crushed in on him and he closed his eyes again.

Hojo sensed the downturn in Vincent's emotional state and came closer. "What is on your mind, Mr. Valentine?"

Vincent sighed and opened his eyes just enough to glance over at his shoulder which was paining him dearly at the moment. He soon saw the reason why as Hojo was pulling the blood soaked dressing away from it. "Stop it!"

Hojo laughed to himself and kept at it, until the incision line was completely exposed. He inspected the row of surgical staples he had used to close the amputation site. "I need to get back to work on this before the nerves heal."

The thought of anymore pain or surgery made Vincent's eyes go wide and the thrashed helplessly against his restraints. "Don't touch me!"

"Now, now." Hojo took a step back and stooped down before one of the machines surrounding Vincent's table. "I'm not about to make you suffer through this next project awake, don't worry. You have caught me in a good mood today, thanks to the final commencement of the Neo-Jenova Project." He flicked a switch on the device and stood back up. "I will not make you suffer like that again… for now."

A terrified scream escaped Vincent's lips as his world began to spin and his sight faded. After a few short seconds, Vincent's head fell forward piteously as his consciousness was ripped from him.

Hojo stepped right up to Vincent and reached out to him, running a hand through Vincent's tangled hair. The scientist stared at Vincent's unconscious form and smiled to himself. "I do so enjoy having you back, Mr. Valentine."

After a few more moments of admiring his captive, Hojo left the room only to return pulling behind him a large crate containing the things that he would need to proceed with his work on Vincent.


	90. Rayna's Problem

Guilt's Cost: Part XC

Rayna's Problem

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Porter fidgeted nervously as he stood with the ASRIO members waiting for Rayna to show up. He kept casting worried glances up to the lab level of the building, fearing that Hojo would notice what was going on. Fortunately, the scientist was currently so engrossed in working on Vincent that Porter could be spray painting obscenities on the side of the building and Hojo wouldn't notice.

Reno kept his arms crossed over his chest looking genuinely annoyed. He only wanted to get Tifa back into the hotel room where he knew she would be safe. She might be able to trust the Turk, but there was no way that Reno was going to so quickly. He fully expected an army of guards to burst forth from the building at any moment.

Jaras stood staring down at the ground, growing ever more depressed that Tifa had yet to acknowledge his existence. He knew that she was in a highly excited emotional state at the moment, but still a simply smile or hello would have been nice.

Tifa heard Jaras sigh loudly as they continued waiting and she looked over to him seeing his dark expression. She took a few steps over toward him, wondering what was on his mind. "Jaras?"

He looked up from the ground and was a little surprised to see her so close. His expression at once brightened. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, pretty much." She managed a smile for him. "Thanks for coming here."

Jaras felt a blush upon his cheeks and looked away. "It was the least I could do."

"Who else is here?" Tifa asked, hoping to keep the conversation between them light.

"Ericson, Morris, and Angel." He said quietly, glancing over his shoulder, trying to remain vigilant.

Tifa furrowed her brow. "What about Zale?"

Jaras's expression fell, and he didn't have the heart to tell her that he hadn't come back from the last mission.

Reno turned to look at her. "He's dead."

Tifa covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh God, he was killed?"

"Yes." Reno answered flatly, still bearing the guilt of the young man's death. He wanted to ask Tifa about what had happened in the lab, but a woman's voice drew his attention back to Porter.

Ranya walked briskly up to Porter's side, giving him a shy smile still feeling a little giddy from their actions the night before. "Hey Porter."

The Turk grinned widely and put his arm around her shoulders. He knew he was doing the right thing. "These are the people I wanted you to meet."

Rayna examined the trio before her, noticing the dress of the two men. "You guys are Turks?"

Reno scoffed. "Not exactly."

Tifa extended her hand toward the brunette. "Hello, nice to meet you."

Rayna returned the handshake firmly. "I'm Rayna."

Porter brought his lips close to his mate's ear. "Rayna, they are from ASRIO."

"What?" Rayna gasped. She knew associating with members of that organization was strictly forbidden by Shin Ra and punishable by death.

Porter could see the concern well up within her, and he took her by the shoulders and looked her in the eye. "Rayna, they are here to help us. Hojo has put an implant in you that will kill you if anything happens to him. They can get it out."

"But, how?" Rayna's mind raced, wondering about how the madman could have put such a thing into her. The memory of the night she passed out at her desk after taking the coffee from him arose, and she unconsciously placed a hand over the site of the wound she had incurred then. Any doubt she had about Porter's words at once vanished. Her knees buckled under her.

As she started to drop, Porter easily caught and supported her, holding her against him. "They can get it out, Rayna. Don't worry, please trust me." He looked over to Reno and Tifa. "What now?"

Reno let his arms fall to his sides. The thought of bringing a _Turk _to their stake out room wasn't his first choice, but he couldn't think of another. If this woman's life did hang in the balance, then they would have to get her to Angel quickly. "Come on."

They quickly made their way back to the hotel, with Porter leading his crying girlfriend gently behind the others. 

By the time they got to the hotel room, Angel had woken up and was sitting over by the window with Ericson and Morris. All three of them were quite curious as to what was going on as they watched the Turk come along with the ASRIO members.

Reno opened the door to the room and everyone filed in. Porter sat Rayna down on the bed and sat beside her. Angel approached Tifa directly, concerned as to what she may have been subjected to in the lab.

"Tifa, are you okay?" Angel asked after a quick embrace, very much concerned about her friend.

She nodded slightly. "Yeah, I'm okay now. Hojo did some sort of surgery on my to get eggs, that's it."

Angel's eyes went wide. "Eggs? He harvested your eggs? Did he say why?"

Tifa hung her head. "The Neo-Jenova Project."

"Holy shit." Reno came up beside Tifa. "He's really going to try it?"

Porter knew that he should volunteer any and all information to these people. "Hojo has been searching for a suitable female to donate eggs for the project for a long time. Once he realized that Ms. Valentine was suitable, he came up with the plan to lure her into the lab."

"So what was all that shit about Cloud being alive?" Reno narrowed his eyes in curiosity.

"Cloud is dead, and has been since his suicide in New Nibleheim a while back. Shin Ra agents learned of his death via the implant that was in Ms. Valentine and they claimed his body." Porter hung his head in shame, having taken part in these activities. "Hojo got a hold of the body and somehow wired it into a computer, making it walk and talk, seeming to be alive."

All those present except for Tifa were shocked to hear this and a hush fell over the room. 

Tifa looked over at Angel. "Hojo has put some sort of implant into this woman, and if anything happens to him, she'll die. You need to get it out."

Angel knew how difficult some of the Shin Ra implants were to get out. "I don't know if I can, I'll have to see where it is first."

Angel knelt before Rayna and looked into her tear filled eyes. "Can you show me where the implant is?"

With her hands trembling badly, Rayna lifted up the right side of her blouse, exposing the side of her abdomen. The small scar that she bore from the night she passed out was easily found. She pointed at it. "Here, I think."

Angel reached out and felt the area. There was a small hard object placed just below the skin and she knitted her brows. "It seems to be fairly superficial. I think I can get it."

Porter sighed in relief. "Really?"

Angel stood back up and strode over to the dresser where she had set her medical bag. She returned to the bedside. "Lay down on you left side. I'm going to use a local anesthetic and then get it out of you."

Rayna looked at Porter with fear in her eyes. He reassured her with a smile and a nod and got up so she could lay down as ordered. Porter then knelt down on the floor and took Rayna's hands into his own. "It will be okay."

Angel drew up a small amount of lidocaine and got out the few items she would need for the procedure. She climbed onto the bed and sat on her knees behind Rayna. She gently scrubbed the area and then prepared to inject it with the lidocaine to numb it. "Okay, this is going to sting a little."

Rayna's grip on Porter's hands tightened almost painfully as the medication was injected under her skin. The burn was intense, but only lasted for a second and soon she couldn't feel anything.

Angel set the syringe down and laid out a small drape on the bed beside her. She dumped out a scalpel blade, handle, and a package of suture onto it before slipping on a pair of gloves. Angel snapped the blade onto the scalpel handle and prepared to make the small incision. 

Porter watched from the floor with great anxiety as he saw Rayna's side opened. The cut Angel made was only about an inch long, but to him it seemed much bigger.

Angel applied a little pressure to either side of the incision and the small implant popped right out. She grabbed it with a piece of gauze and placed it onto the drape. "It's out, I just have to close the wound now."

Rayna drew a jagged breath of relief and smiled at Porter. "Thank you."

Angel quickly placed three sutures and then pulled off her gloves. "That's it."

Rayna sat up and inspected the tiny surgery site. It wasn't as bad as she was expecting and she was extremely grateful.

Angel picked up the implant to give it a proper inspection. It was about the size of a pea. It was simple in appearance, looking like little more than a tiny cylinder. There was a small aperture on the side, and if the signal were received from Hojo, it would open, dispensing its deadly contents into its victim.

Reno and Jaras looked down to see the device as well. Once they had a good look, Angel offered it to Rayna. "Do you want it?"

Rayna shied away as it was held out to her. "No, I don't even want to see it."

Angel smiled and retrieved a small vial from her bag. She dropped the implant into it and replaced the top. "So much for that."

Rayna looked over at Porter. "Now what?"

"I don't know." Porter said, turning his gaze back to Reno.

"She should probably get back to work." Reno sighed. "If anyone notices that she's gone for the rest of the day, someone might get suspicious."

Rayna nodded and stood back up. "You're probably right."

Porter moved to go with her, but Reno grabbed his arm. "You can't go back yet. You're supposed to be taking Tifa to the train station, if I recall."

"Oh, yeah." Porter looked at Rayna with concern. "Are you all right to go back alone?"

Rayna smiled weakly and nodded. "Yes, I'll be fine."

"Okay." Porter took a few steps forward and gave her a brief kiss. "After work, go straight home. I'll come for you as soon as I can."

Rayna agreed, and slipped out of the room.

Reno checked his watch. "You probably have about fifteen minutes or so before he's gonna expect you back. I suggest you spent that time telling us how you're going to help."

"First, tell me what your plan was." Porter sat heavily on the edge of the bed.

"Me and the guys were going to walk in pretending to be Turks, make our way to the lab, grab Vinny and get to the roof and meet our chopper. I figure the lady birds can wait on the roof of the hotel and we can pick them up and bail." Reno said, quite proud of his plan.

Porter shook his head. "You're just going to walk in, pretending to be Turks?"

"Yeah." Reno said curtly.

"What kind of plan is that?" Porter was growing worried over the competence of his new associates. "Turk or not, the guards at the front aren't going to recognize you and they won't let you pass with out I.D."

The thought of anyone challenging a Turk like that in Reno's day would have been out of the question, but times had changed. "So, what's your suggestion?"

"If they saw you entering with a Turk they recognize they wouldn't harass you." Porter said thoughtfully.

Reno raised his eyebrows, realizing that Porter just might be more useful than he thought. "We were going to go in tonight."

Porter nodded and glanced down looking for his dog, finding him sleeping on the corner of the bed. "All right, here's what I'll do. I get off work at five, six if Hojo decides to give me any crap about leaving. Once I'm free, I'll come here and meet up with you guys, then we'll make our move."

Tifa crossed her arms. "Reno, I'm going with you."

"No way, Tifa." Reno turned to her. "You're in no shape to do this, and you don't have anything to wear to make you fit in as a Turk."

"I'm fine, and I have all day to go pick up a suit." Tifa was not about to leave the rescue of the man she loved up to anyone other than herself.

Jaras couldn't help but protest. "Tifa, I think Reno is right. You shouldn't go back in there."

"But I have to help Vincent!" Tifa stamped her foot, her face growing red with frustration.

Jaras placed his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "Tifa, do you think Vincent would want you to go back in there? If anything happened to you while trying to help him he wouldn't be able to live with it. Besides, you don't know what we're going to find when we get to him. God only knows what Hojo has done."

Tifa looked over pleadingly at Porter, hoping to find any information about Vincent's status. "Have you seen him?"

The vision of the dismembered man strapped to the table was forever imprinted into Porter's mind. "I have, and I think it's best if the others go and get him."

Tifa's eyes filled with tears and she began to shake. "What has he done? I know about the arm, has he done something else?"

Porter hung his head, and just repeated his last remark. "I think the other's should retrieve him, that's all."

Tifa's hands were drawn up to her mouth and she felt sick. There was something in Porter's tone that terrified her. She started to feel weak.

Jaras saw Tifa's deteriorating condition and dared to take her in his arms. He couldn't bear to see her in this much pain.

Tifa gave in to Jaras's embrace and buried her face in his chest. Her body was wracked with sobs, and she prayed that Vincent would be all right.

Reno had to turn away from the spectacle as he too was hurt by Tifa's pain. He looked back at Porter. "You should probably go now."

Porter rose up from the bed and nodded. "Okay, I'll be back tonight."

Reno watched as the Turk retreated, finally feeling like he could be trusted. "All right, see you then."


	91. Insanity

Guilt's Cost: Part XCI

Insanity

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Please pardon the rash of typos certain to be in this chapter. It is very late and I am very tired. J 

Vincent felt his consciousness return to him. Even before he was able to open his eyes he noticed that things were different. Instead of being strapped to the cold table, he realized that he was lying in some type of bed. At once he grew confused, realizing that he wasn't restrained in any way. Slowly his eyes managed to open and he found himself staring up into the dim fluorescent light flickering above. He could feel his heart beat in his ears, and he felt sluggish and groggy.

Hojo was sitting in the corner in a chair, waiting for the moment when Vincent would come back around. The scientist had spent several hours working on him, and it was now growing to be late afternoon. Hojo had lost all track of time however, being too absorbed in his work on him beloved Mr. Valentine to notice. When he saw Vincent's eyes finally flutter open he rose from his seat and walked over. "Good, you're finally awake, Mr. Valentine."

Vincent turned his head to the side slightly to see the scientist coming towards him. The mere sight of Hojo made him sick and he looked back up at the ceiling again. He felt something covering him and struggled to see his body, which was draped with the same bloody sheet that had been thrown over Tifa earlier. Strangely enough, one of the first things that he noticed was her scent still upon it. The way that the sheet was laying confused Vincent to some degree. It looked as though he had an intact body beneath it.

That's when Vincent realized that he could feel his extremities again. Both of his arms and legs, and they felt almost _normal._ Vincent sat up, but was forced to close his eyes as he did so from the incredible pain in his head. Once he was upright, he brought his hands up from under the sheet and held them out. Half filled with dread at what he would find, Vincent allowed his eyes to open again. His expression at once turned to disgust as he came to see what Hojo had given him. Both of his arms had been replaced with new cybernetic prosthetics, but they in no way looked like human hands. They were made of a black metal and were proportionate to what his real arms and hands would have been to his body, but they were almost skeletal in appearance. Above the wrist and up to the shoulder his arms were constructed of the same black metal, but the armor plating over them gave his arms some substance to their appearance. He reached down and grasped the sheets with his new hands. The tactile sensitivity of the mechanical fingers approximated that of his previous human skin, but this went unnoticed as he simply used them to rip the sheet away and cast it to the floor.

Vincent came to see that from the waist down he was completely robotic now. His androgynous doll like lower body was made in the same style and material as his arms. Slowly he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and slid to his feet. He continued to stare there looking down at his new body, heartbroken at what he had been turned in to.

Hojo watched the whole spectacle with great interest. He was almost as interested in Vincent's reaction to his new body as he was the result of his new cybernetic prosthetics functionality. "Do you approve, Mr. Valentine? I should point out that you have been relieved of your reproductive system in its entirety. Since you would never have been able to impregnate a woman due to your altered genetic condition, I did not feel the need to further burden you with their anatomical presence. Take note, however, that for eliminations you will be required to sit for both functions now. I wouldn't want to you make a mess of yourself. I can't wait to see how well these new limbs work for you."

Vincent's fists clenched and he brought up his hate filled gaze to meet Hojo's own. If Hojo wanted to see how well these new limbs worked, then Vincent felt more than obliged to show him. He shrugged off the last of his grogginess and bolted toward the madman.

Strangely, Hojo didn't seem that concerned as Vincent rushed toward him. When Vincent was only a few paces away, Hojo muttered one simple word. "Collapse."

A started cry escaped Vincent as he suddenly lost all feeling and power in his limbs. He dropped to the floor like a puppet whose strings had been cut. His face struck the concrete floor and his mouth at once tasted of blood.

Hojo howled with laughter at the sight. "Mr. Valentine! I should have warned you that the circuits that carry the signals to and from your nerves are in communication with my computer. Upon my word, you will lose all mobility as you have just seen. You can do your best to attack me, but your attempts will do no more than result in another nasty fall. Let's try this again, and this time I want to you behave. Power on."

Just as quickly as the sensation of his limbs had been lost it returned and Vincent managed to get to his knees. Upon his fall his teeth had bit into his lip terribly and the pain was intense, although nothing compared to what he had been through before. He hung his head and allowed the blood to drip down to the floor between his knees.

Hojo cocked an eyebrow as he saw Vincent's shoulders begin to heave and his breaths start to grow jagged. "Mr. Valentine, this is no time to break down. Why should you be crying at a time like this? You have a functional body again, I should think that you would be grateful!"

Vincent threw his head back and gazed up into the light. Having the last vestiges of normalcy ripped from his body was more than he could bear. He had suffered so much at the hands of this man, and had endured it fearing for Tifa's safety. Now she was no longer in danger and he didn't have to worry about what would happen if he let himself go. Something deep within Vincent's mind shattered.

"What?" Hojo grew confused as he realized that Vincent wasn't crying at all. He was _laughing._ "Mr. Valentine?"

Vincent howled with an insane cackle. The rational part of his mind was completely gone and his body was gripped in gut wrenching throws of maddened laughter. As his body convulsed in his outburst, he outstretched his arms.

Hojo grew frightened at what he was witnessing. He had seen victims snap before, but this seemed different. This wasn't the temporary type of shock that most people under duress slipped into; this was out and out insanity. The thought that he had pushed his dear specimen to this extent of lunacy confounded him. Not knowing what else to do, and fearing that Vincent in this state might hurt himself, Hojo again gave the command. "Collapse."

Vincent's body again went limp and he sank into a heap on the floor. Even this did not stop his break down and he continued to squeal in madness as he flopped over onto his back.

"You need to get a hold of yourself." Hojo said, backing up towards the door. "I will give you some time alone now, Mr. Valentine."

Vincent was oblivious to the fact that the scientist had slipped out of the room as his body continued to be shaken with howls.

Hojo locked the door behind him and reached into his pocket. He found Vincent's wedding ring within and pulled it out. As he stood there staring at the gold band he sighed. He never would have suspected that Vincent had a breaking point as he had lasted through so much up until this point. No one had ever even come close to tolerating what he had and it was because of this that Hojo had become careless, believing that Vincent would never lose his mind. For another rare instance, Hojo had erred, and he didn't like it. He slipped the ring onto his own finger, more than a little pleased to see that it fit and Hojo decided to keep it on. "You belong to me, Mr. Valentine. I know that you're trying to escape via insanity, but I won't let you get away. I know you'll come back to me. We still have so much to do… I know you will come back. All you need is a little time to regain control of you faculties, and I will grant you that time."

Even through the closed door, Vincent's break down continued to ring through the lab. It would take more than time for him to be normal again; much more.


	92. Insight

Guilt' Cost: Part XCII

Insight

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

After Porter left everyone in the room fell into silence, lost in their own thoughts. The only sound to be heard was Tifa's quiet crying as she remained in Jaras's arms. He held her tightly, wishing to defend her from anymore pain, and he stroked her hair gently as he rocked her. Tifa could feel his heart pounding within his chest at his anxiety of having her so close. She knew that she should step away, but felt so weak that if she tried she would have collapsed. Right now she needed the comfort, even if it was from a man that loved her when he should not.

Reno stood staring at Angel who was repacking her medical bag. He was proud at how easily she had managed to pluck the implant from the Turk's girlfriend. She never ceased to amaze him and he wondered why such an intelligent woman would have married him in the first place. On some level he was surprised that she hadn't started to criticize him for bringing a member of the opposing team into their room. He figured that she would have at least _something_ to say on the subject.

What Reno didn't know was that Angel had seen the whole spectacle unfold on the street from the window, and even without the audio, it had been clear to her that Tifa was the one who'd insisted upon helping the Turk. Trusting Tifa to be a far better judge of character than Reno, Angel didn't mind. Besides, they at the very least had saved Rayna's life and that was a start. Angel was also relieved at Tifa's unexpected release from the lab. Now she also knew that Vincent was still alive, and she had someone to stay with her tonight when the men went in to retrieve her father.

Tifa finally managed to get herself back under some level of control and she brought her gaze up to find Jaras staring back down at her. He smiled at her, his green eyes shining behind his reading glasses. "Are you okay?"

She nodded slightly, stepping back. "Yeah, I think so. I'm just scared to think what Hojo's done to Vincent."

"I know." Jaras replied, slipping his glasses off and placing them into his coat pocket. "We will get him out of there, though. I promise."

Tifa couldn't help but smile back at him. She wondered to herself how she never noticed seven years ago the similarities between Vincent and this man. Even the way they spoke with their quiet monotone voices was almost close enough to be interchangeable. Seven years ago she never would have imagined herself married to Vincent and being comforted by her former enemy. But now she knew that Sephiroth had never really been the bad guy. It all came down to Hojo's actions back then just as it did now. They may have saved the world, but they had failed to snuff out the source of the problem. Tifa knew that no one would ever be safe as long as Hojo was allowed to go on living and 'working'.

She turned to Reno. "You have to stop Hojo from carrying on the Project."

He nodded. "Yeah, I know. I just don't know how. We can go in there and blow the lab into a million pieces and it won't stop him. That ass wipe has labs all over the place and you can be sure that he isn't going to start the Neo-Jenova Project anywhere we know of. After we sprung Angel out of there he's moved all his Jenova related work somewhere else and we've never pinned down the location."

"But if we kill him it will stop!" Tifa begged.

"Tifa," Angel stood up from the bed, "Hojo has infused himself with a massive amount of Jenova. We can tear him to shreds and he would just regenerate. We don't know how to kill him."

Tifa recalled how he had gone unaffected by the kick she had rendered to his head, and how he hadn't been killed by their direct assault on him seven years ago. She hung her head in defeat. "If we can't kill him no one will ever be safe. We might as well have left that implant inside Rayna if he's invincible."

"That implant was more likely a device simply to assure that Turk's loyalty." Angel sighed, setting her bag back over on the dresser. "But thanks to it, we have him as an ally now and it will help us get Vincent out, and that is our first priority."

"But Angel!" Tifa went closer to him. "He's going to create a child that he's going to try and turn into another Sephiroth! We can't let him do that! I can't stand the thought of my baby being fathered by that man! We have to stop it!"

Angel placed a hand on Tifa's shoulder. "I know you're upset, Tifa but this isn't just something we can go in and stop that easily. If Hojo could be killed I assure you Tseng would have had him taken out a long time ago."

Over in the corner, Jaras turned to face the window. He needed to hide his current expression from the others. The talk of another Sephiroth stung his heart, but moreover he knew how to kill Hojo; he just didn't know the way to get him to where he would need to be.

Although Jaras had tried to be casual in his movement, it caught Reno's eye. He turned to face Jaras's back. "What's up? Do you know something?"

"No." Jaras shook his head slightly. He was a terrible liar.

Reno grabbed Jaras by the arm and forced him to turn around. "What the fuck do you know?"

"I just was thinking," Jaras dropped his gaze to the floor, "if it was being immersed in the life-stream that made me normal by killing the Jenova within me, then maybe it would make Hojo mortal too."

"Hot shit, that's brilliant!" Reno said, eyes growing wide. He never would have suspected that the mild mannered bookworm would have come up with a plan to kill someone.

Angle nodded in agreement. "The only problem is getting a hold of him to throw him into some Mako."

"Exactly." Jaras wrenched his arm free of Reno's hold and turned back to the window to stare out at the Shin Ra building. "But we still would have to find out where he plans on conducting the Project, because if we just kill him without destroying the research then Shin Ra might just have some other man take his place and carry on the work."

"Yeah, you're probably right, but where they would find such a twisted son of a bitch to do that I don't know. But if any one can I guess it would be Shin Ra." Reno said, knitting him brows in thought. 

"Yes." Jaras longed to get the chance to see Hojo face to face, to finally be reunited with the man who had caused him to do so much destruction before being stopped by Cloud.

"Maybe that Turk will know something." Reno speculated as he made his way back over to the bed and sat. "For now I think we need to rest and get ready for tonight."

Everyone agreed, all quite exhausted from the night of travel and stress of the day. They needed to be bright eyed and bushy tailed come nightfall.


	93. Lunch Date

Guilt's Cost: Part XCIII

Lunch Date

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Upon leaving the ASRIO team in the hotel, Porter had slipped back into his office just outside the lab doors unnoticed. He sat slumped at his desk, staring again at the Death Penalty that he had taken from Vincent. When lunchtime rolled around, Porter had gone up to the accounting department with the escort of his dog to check on Rayna. 

He found her buried in a mountain of papers as she tried to distract herself by working but by the frazzled look about her it wasn't working too well. Porter came over and leaned onto her desk, smiling down at her. She didn't even notice that he was there until he cleared his throat.

"Oh, Porter!" She said, brightening upon realizing he was there.

His grin widened. "I thought I would just come and check on you, in light of this morning's events."

"I'm okay…" Rayna sighed, still in disbelief and shock over all that had happened.

"Do you think that you'll be able to get away for lunch?" Porter asked.

She looked disdainfully at the papers piled around her, but shrugged. "I shouldn't, but what the heck, let's go."

Porter stepped back as she threw her jacket around her shoulders and grabbed her purse. He took her by the hand and led her from the building. Once out on the street, Rayna seemed to relax. She slipped her arm around his waist and nestled into his side.

Porter felt better having her this close and draped his arm around her shoulders as they walked. A shiver ran through his body and a blush came to his cheeks as he remembered their encounter from the night before. Even after that and the ordeal of the morning courtesy of Hojo's interference she was still holding on to him as though he was the most important thing in the world. Despite the fact that come tonight he may very well lose his life, Porter couldn't help but smile.

They walked to a nearby dinner and sat down. It was yet another establishment that had learned not to harass the Turk about bringing his dog in with him. Once settled in and having ordered, Porter placed his arm around Rayna who shared the same side of the booth as him.

She looked up at him, her expression one of worry. "So what's going on?"

"ASRIO is here to get Tifa and Vincent out of Midgar. Since Hojo let Tifa go this morning they're half way there, but they are going in tonight to get Mr. Valentine." Porter said quietly, not trusting anyone around them.

"But the implant in me, how did you know?" She searched his eyes for any comfort.

"Mr. Valentine told me not to put it past Hojo to do something like that, and so in curiosity, I asked him." Porter looked away, not wanting her to see the pain the memory of the day before caused him. "He made no attempt to hide it and told me flat out that if anything happened to him that it was there and would kill you."

"How long have you known?" She asked.

Porter dropped his gaze down to the table's surface. "It was yesterday."

Suddenly the reason that Porter had shown up at her doorstep last night so upset and having drunk was revealed. Somehow she had convinced herself that he had been acting so strange because he had come to some sort of epiphany about his feelings for her. Rayna looked away and sighed. "So that's what was wrong last night…"

"Once he told me that, I went a little crazy. I found Rude and we went out and talked for a while. I told him what had happened, and he warned me not to seek help from ASRIO, but I didn't know what else to do." Porter's voice wavered a bit. "If anything had happened to you, I never would have been able to forgive myself."

She brought her eyes back up to meet his. Something burned so deeply within him that she felt her heart race. He was risking his own life in order to save hers. There had never been a man on earth that would have done that for her. "Porter…"

He saw the first hint of tears come to her eyes and he couldn't help himself. Porter leaned forward and kissed her. Maybe they hadn't been going out that long, but somehow Porter knew that there was something far different with his relationship with this woman than any other he had gone out with before.

Their kiss was cut short as the elderly waitress dropped the plates containing their salads on the table. She rolled her eyes at the sight of the two young people openly displaying emotion and walked back towards the kitchen muttering something about 'those damned kids'.

Porter and Rayna both broke into a short laugh at her comment, feeling again self-conscious about themselves. Having overslept they had been forced to skip breakfast in their mad dash to get to work today and they quickly downed their salads, eager for their lunches to arrive. 

Despite the nervous tension they both felt, they ate well when their meals finally arrived. Once the empty plates were pushed back to the edge of the table, Rayna turned to Porter again. "So what happens now?"

He lost his smile. "I'm going to help them get Mr. Valentine out tonight."

"But you could be killed!" Rayna's voice was desperate.

"It's a risk I have to take." Porter had to look away again. "If it weren't for Mr. Valentine and ASRIO that implant would have stayed in you God knows how long, and you could have died. I owe him this for saving you. I have to help them."

"But what then? Certainly you won't be able to stay in Midgar, Hojo would have you killed!" She moved closer to him.

"I know," Porter hung his head, "I'll have to leave with the ASRIO team. Maybe they will have a job for me."

"And what about me?" She felt tears in her eyes again. "You can't just leave me here! Say that I'm going with you!"

Porter furrowed his brow and gazed down into her dark eyes. "Of course you are! That was what I intended all along! That is, unless you didn't want to go."

"I do!" Rayna smiled to hear that he wasn't abandoning her. "I hate Midgar, the only reason I'm here is because the company transferred me from the office in Kalm. I have nothing here without you."

"Just go home tonight after work. Once we have Mr. Valentine out I'll make sure to come for you. Be ready, all right?" Porter wiped away the stray tear running down her cheek.

"I will." Rayna said, soon finding herself kissing him again.

For a second time they were broken up by the waitress as she tossed their bill onto the table.

Porter checked his watch, confirming what he already suspected to be true. "Time to go back."

They paid and left the restaurant, walking back slowly to the Shin Ra building. Rayna was in turmoil over the thought of what might happen to him that night. "Porter?"

He stopped and turned to her before reaching out to open the building's door. "Yes?"

"Be careful." She said, looking down at the ground.

Porter took her in his arms and smiled. "I will, don't worry. I love you."

Rayna produced a smile she wasn't really feeling. "I love you, too. I'll be waiting for you tonight."

He kissed her briefly and then stepped back. "I'll be there."

They made their way into the building and back to their respective floors. The Turk spent several more hours in his office forcing himself to complete some reports which he eventually took up to a different department. Upon returning, Porter stopped short of his office door, deciding that it might be a good idea just to check in with Hojo to see what he was up to. He slid his pass card through the lock and stepped inside.

Hojo was again seated in front of his microscope, having abandoned Vincent to his madness for the time being. He gave passing notice to the Turk's entrance and addressed him without turning to face Porter. "Go check on Mr. Valentine for me."

Porter replied wordlessly by nodding and went over to the short corridor that led to the room holding Vincent. He unlocked the door and peered inside to find Vincent no longer strapped to the table and again with some form of intact body. Vincent was still laying on the floor perfectly still where Hojo had ordered him to collapse. His insane laughter had ceased and he now simply lay unmoving on the floor, gazing up blankly at the ceiling over him.

Porter was concerned that he might be dead and stepped inside, allowing the door to close behind him. He walked to where Vincent was and stared down at him. "Mr. Valentine?"

Vincent made no response, just continuing to look into nothingness. His mind was completely devoid of anything now; his consciousness too frightened of anymore suffering to resurface.

Porter was at least relieved to realize that Vincent was breathing. Why he was motionless and unresponsive still concerned him, however. Whatever the problem might be, Porter didn't feel that he should leave the pathetic man laying on the floor as he was and he stooped down to pick him up.

Vincent on his own wasn't a heavy man, but with all the metal that Hojo had added to him he now tipped the scales at well over two hundred pounds, and Porter seriously had his doubts that he was going to get him back into the bed. With a significant amount of straining, the Turk did manage to get Vincent back into the bed, and tried to lay him out in some manner that looked comfortable. That done, Porter picked the sheets up off the floor and draped them over Vincent.

"Tifa is safe now. She is with your ASRIO friends. They got the implant out of Rayna, and I owe you my thanks." Porter said.

Vincent may have heard, or may have not. His face didn't betray anything and his lips were tightly closed. Vincent was starting to remind Porter of Cloud's lifeless yet living form.

Porter hung his head, having no idea what had transpired between him and the scientist to cause this. He hoped that it was only temporary whatever it was. "They are coming for you tonight."

With that, Porter walked back out of the room and into the main part of the lab. Hojo had moved from the microscope and was fiddling around inside the refrigeration unit, preparing to transport his precious embryos to the other facility.

Porter went over to where he was working. "Mr. Valentine seems to be catatonic."

Hojo scoffed. "Yes, he has decided to give madness a try. But he'll be back."

"Oh." Porter looked back towards the door to Vincent's room.

"Porter, I will be needing you to escort me to the other facility tonight." Hojo said, turning back to face his guard. "You may leave at five, but I will want you back here by eight."

"The other facility, Sir?" Porter was caught off guard by this.

"Yes, you simpleton, Department Two." Hojo narrowed is eyes at his Turk in annoyance.

Department Two was the name of Hojo's second lab in Midgar up on the plate. Porter hadn't been there in some months now and was glad that the reality was that he wouldn't be going back. By the time eight rolled around, he and the ASRIO team would already have come and gone. The scientist's other lab was an eerie place, located within the bowels of the old Reactor Six. The place reeked of Mako and was dark and unnerving. Hojo would vanish for weeks at a time doing God only knows up there. Porter had a feeling he didn't want know.


	94. Quitting Time

Guilt's Cost: Part XCIV

Quitting Time

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Porter eventually went back into his office and shut the door. He was actually done with all the paper work that the scientist had dumped on him and he found himself anxiously awaiting five o'clock. The minutes seemed to slowly tick by, but strangely with each passing hour Porter grew more nervous about time apparently passing so quickly. He took the Death Penalty out one more time and examined it. He would give it back to Vincent when the time came; assuming that Mr. Valentine was ever of the mind to use it again.

When it finally did get to be five, Rayna collected a few things from her desk and walked to the elevator. She knew that there would be nothing she'd miss here, and on some level she was glad to be leaving the Shin Ra building for the final time. After getting to the ground floor she made her way out onto the street and to the bus stop a short distance away. This was the way she had gotten to and from work before catching rides with Porter and she hoped that they hadn't changed the bus schedules in that time. Soon enough the bus came, billowing its usual black cloud of exhaust and she boarded it for the long ride home.

Back in his office, Porter noticed the arrival of quitting time with mixed feelings. He was ready to help ASRIO get Vincent to safety, but he was apprehensious about what might happen if things didn't go well. Being a Turk was all he had ever wanted, and now he was throwing it all away. No great loss, though he thought. He had always wanted to be a Turk, it was true, but he was little more than a whipping boy to the mad man, just as his friends had always said.

Porter rose from his desk and attached Vincent's gun to his hip. He liked the way the heavier weapon felt against him, something about it just exuded power. Porter took the small picture of Rayna off his desk and slipped it into his pocket. He then stepped out of his office and locked its door for the last time.

Porter rode down in the elevator staring at his dog. D just looked back up at him with his usual hopefully doggy expression and Porter sighed. "I think I should leave you in the hotel with Tifa and Angel tonight. I hope you don't mind."

D just continued to gaze up at him with his brown eyes. Porter wasn't aware of exactly how well the animal actually understood him. His mind had been enhanced by Hojo's experimentation, and the dog had developed a fairly decent understanding of his master's words. He could sense Porter's tension and whined up at him quietly. His master's life was soon to be in danger, and the dog knew it.

Porter strolled through the lobby and out into the street. He walked to his car and got into it, allowing D to take up his normal place in the passenger seat. Porter drove the car around the block and into the parking garage under the hotel. At least this way it would look like he had truly left.

Up in the room, Reno was growing nervous about the mission. This wasn't like him, he hadn't stressed over a job in years, but after the last mission's failure, he had lost some of his confidence. He sat staring out the window at the darkening street, wondering what would happen. Angel came up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Reno turned slightly to look up at her, seeing her smiling. She knew what was on his mind and wanted only to comfort him.

Jaras was sitting propped up on one of the beds reading his book again. Tifa was curled up at his side having finally managed to fall into some much-needed sleep. Occasionally he would turn his eyes from the page to gaze down at her next to him wishing that it would always be like this, but knowing it wouldn't. If everything went well tonight, Vincent would be returned to her and he would have to step aside to his father. For him this was all turning out to be bittersweet.

Ericson and Morris sat watching the television, absorbed in the evening news. They had spent the day napping and reviewing the plans of the building and were now feeling as prepared as they could get.

Reno got up when he heard a knock at the door. He went over seeing that it was Porter and let him and his dog in. "Glad to see you could make it."

Porter let the sarcastic comment slide and went to sit in one of the chairs in the corner. "Hojo let me off on time. He wants me back at eight to escort him to D-2."

"D-2? What the fuck is that?" Reno asked, falling back into the chair that he had occupied before.

"Department Two, the second Midgar lab." Porter said, somewhat surprised that ASRIO didn't know this. "I think he's going up there to work on the Neo-Jenova Project. That's where he's got his accelerators and everything waiting."

"Holy shit, I knew it!" Reno said, growing excited. "I knew there had to be another lab! Where is it?"

"On the plate, in Reactor Six." Porter felt suddenly very important. 

Jaras cocked an eyebrow upon hearing this, but remained silent.

Reno nodded to himself. "Now that we know where he's got everything we can wipe out the Project. This is great!"

"Certainly you don't intend to do that tonight as well, do you?" Porter knew that they were terribly unprepared for such a mission.

"Hell no, that will come later, for now my only priority is to get Vincent out of the Shin Ra building. As for going after the secret lab that isn't so secret anymore, that will be something we need to talk to Tseng for." Reno stood up and stretched. Porter was turning out to be far more useful than he thought.

"I was thinking we should go in for Vincent at seven." Porter said thoughtfully. "That's when they change out the guards and it will be a lot easier to get away with this during the shift change."

Reno raised his eyebrows. "Sounds good." He looked over to see that Tifa was still asleep giving him a chance to ask what he needed to know. "How's Vinny?"

"Vincent?" Porter confirmed.

"Yeah, Vinny, like I said. What did Hojo do to him?" Reno lowered his voice, not wanting to wake Tifa.

Porter downcast his gaze. "Hojo has really messed with him. He cut off his one good arm and took off his other one along with his legs. Today though, he seems to have put him back together, more or less. But I don't think Mr. Valentine is all right, if you know what I mean. I had to check on him earlier today, and I don't know what Hojo did, but Vincent was in some sort of daze. Didn't seem to respond to anything at all."

Reno frowned. "Poor son of a bitch. I hope he's gonna be all right once we get him out of there, for Tifa's sake."

"Yeah, me too." Porter sighed, reaching down to pat his dog on the head.


	95. Rescue

Guilt's Cost: Part XCV

Rescue

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

At seven o'clock it was time to head out. Reno had called the pilot Brad to make certain that everything was go with the chopper. Brad heartily assured him that come the proper time he would be in the sky over the Shin Ra building ready to get them out. Tifa continued to protest the fact that Reno wasn't going to let her come along, but eventually she ceded and agreed to stay with Angel. Truth be told Tifa knew that she wasn't up to it at this point anyway. The two women were then given the keys to Porter's car and instructed on how to get to Rayna's. Porter and Reno agreed that this would be the best plan of action, considering that it would mean they would only have to make one stop after the escape instead of two. Porter also decided that it would be best to have the women take D with them, so that he didn't have to worry about his dog during the potentially dangerous extraction.

They all left the hotel room at the same time, with the men heading toward the Shin Ra building and the women toward Porter's car. The four would be Turks followed Porter across the street and into the building.

Jaras had tied his hair tightly back and was wearing his glasses in an attempt to disguise his appearance to some degree. This failed to work very well, with the extraordinarily long sword hanging off his hip coupled with his very unique look his identity would be given away to anyone who took the time to notice.

The guard at the security desk smiled upon seeing Porter. "Don't have your dog with you, I see."

He returned the grin. "No, I decided to leave him behind while I showed my associates from Junon around."

"Oh, you guys are from Junon, huh?" The guard looked impressed. Everyone in Shin Ra knew that some of the best Turks were those trained in the coastal town. "What brings you to Midgar?"

Reno took this opportunity to drop a name. "My friend Rude invited us to come and go over some new training guidelines."

The guard's eyes went wide. Not only were they some of the most elite of the Turks, they were personally aquatinted with _Rude._ He decided better of delaying them any further. "Well, have a nice stay."

"Thank you." Jaras replied for the group as they passed the guard station and started toward the elevators.

***

Back in the lab Hojo was packed and ready to head out to the other lab location. He still had a while before Porter was scheduled to arrive, and he decided to spend this time checking on Vincent.

He entered the room to find Vincent still laying as Porter had placed him several hours earlier. Hojo unconsciously reached down and twisted the wedding band he'd stolen from Vincent around his finger. "Mr. Valentine, are you feeling any better?"

Vincent's dull eyes just gazed up blindly into nothingness. His only movements were his painfully slow breaths and his occasional blinks.

Hojo sighed and furrowed his brow. There was a possibility that there was more wrong with Vincent than madness and Hojo realized that he should run a blood panel on him just to be sure. He retrieved a syringe and several glass vials from a drawer and came to Vincent's side. The only problem was that all of the normal blood draw sites on Vincent's body were now artificial. Hojo shrugged and decided that he would have to get the blood from Vincent as he took it from his animal specimens. He placed his left hand around the lower portion of Vincent's neck until he could make out the jugular vein. Once certain of its location, he drove the needle beneath Vincent's skin and started to draw forth the sample he needed.

Vincent gave absolutely no response to this needle stick, and Hojo became even more worried. He knew that above all else Vincent dreaded needles and sample draws and it was highly unusual that there wasn't even the slightest reaction from him. This was conclusive evidence to the scientist that Vincent definitely wasn't faking this catatonic state.

Once his syringe was filled sufficiently, Hojo held a small piece of cotton firmly against Vincent's neck where the blood draw had been performed. He needed to get the blood into the tubes for the CBC before it clotted and he let go of the cotton pressed to Vincent's neck too quickly. As he let the blood fill the tubes in his hands, he saw a dark bruise begin to grow beneath Vincent's fair skin.

"Sorry to mar you, Mr. Valentine." Hojo apologized as he dropped the filled vials into his pocket. "I will go check this before I head off to the other lab. I have an assistant that will be tending to you while I am away. I regret that I have to leave you like this for now, but I will be back for you. Who knows, once you snap out of this little spell maybe I can take you to the other lab with me. Sorry that I must leave you, Sleeping Beauty."

Hojo sighed and turned to leave the room. He stopped a few steps away and looked back at Vincent. "There was a way to wake Sleeping Beauty, wasn't there? Maybe it's unscientific, but it is worth a try I suppose." He returned to Vincent's bedside and looked down at him. Slowly he ran one of his blood stained hands through Vincent's hair and began to lean forward. Gently he let his lips meet those of the unresponsive man and allowed them to linger there for a few moments. Needless to say he wasn't really surprised to see that Vincent didn't respond. "Oh well, it was worth it anyway, wasn't it, Mr. Valentine? Since I don't have to worry about you walking off at this point, go ahead and power on." With that, Hojo left the room.

Had Vincent been aware to notice, he would have felt his body again activate.

***

Reno, Porter, Jaras, Ericson, and Morris all got onto the elevator and started the long ride up to the lab level of the building. Porter found himself staring at Jaras as he had been doing for the last several hours. There was something eerily familiar with him, and Porter couldn't help but think how very much he looked like Sephiroth. He still hadn't learned the truth about Jaras's identity, and didn't dare to ask. Jaras had noticed that he was under the constant gaze of the Turk and was feeling a little more than uncomfortable with it. He tried to act as though he didn't notice, but it was wearing on him.

Porter reached down and slid his hand across Vincent's gun, as it was still strapped to him. Reno caught the action out of the corner of his eye, and being all too familiar with the weapon he grimaced. "Death Penalty?"

"What?" Porter answered, coming out of his daydream.

"That's Vinny's Death Penalty." Reno pointed at the massive gun. "Don't think he'd like it too much to know you were going around using it."

Porter smirked. "But I haven't been using it. At least, not yet."

Reno grinned. "Maybe you'll get the chance to unload it in Hojo's sorry ass."

"I can only hope." Porter sighed.

***

Inside the lab, Hojo stood in front of his blood analyzing machines, waiting to see the results of Vincent's tests. With his Jenova heightened senses, he heard the elevator open outside the lab doors. Hojo looked over at a clock on the wall to see that it was only seven fifteen. Knowing that it was far too early for Porter to show up (he was _never_ early) and also being aware that no one else had any business on this floor at this hour, Hojo grew immediately suspicious. He quickly moved away from the analyzers and over to the counter where the small cooler containing the embryos was sitting. There was something very wrong in the air, and Hojo wasn't about to lose his precious start to the Neo-Jenova Project. He crouched down behind a workstation and peered toward the door as he heard someone slide a pass card through the door lock. The scientist kept the cooler firmly clutched against his chest.

The lab doors opened and Porter walked in followed by what at first glance appeared to be four other Turks, but as Hojo watched through his dirty glasses he recognized the men one by one.

_Porter, you went to ASRIO? _ Hojo thought. _I would have expected better of you; especially knowing that Rayna's life is in the balance. Maybe I underestimated you after all. Let's see, who do we have here? Reno, as always, and it looks like Ericson and Morris. And what is this?_

A sweat broke out across Hojo's skin as he recognized the fourth man. He couldn't believe his eyes, and grew terribly afraid. If there was anyone who ever might have been able to kill him, it would have been Sephiroth. How he was still alive, and why he was with ASRIO mystified the scientist, and he had to do all within his power to keep quiet and hidden. It didn't seem as though they were looking for him. 

__

You're here for Mr. Valentine, aren't you? Hojo studied the situation. _ Sephiroth is looking for his father? How does he know? Does he know? Of course he must, why else would he be here? ASRIO knows of his true parentage and they must have found him somewhere and told him. It must be the Jenova preservation drive within him. He is compelled to save those genetically close to him. Yes, that must be it… I shouldn't let them take my dear Mr. Valentine now, should I? But if I attempted to stop them I might risk losing the embryos. I can always get Mr. Valentine back… I'm certain of that._

Porter and the others were completely oblivious to Hojo's study of them from his hiding place across the room. The Turk quickly made his way to the room where Vincent was being held and unlocked the door. He slipped inside with Reno while Jaras, Ericson, and Morris continued to flank the door for anyone that might come upon them.

Reno ran up to the bed and ripped the sheets off Vincent. He was momentarily stunned by the sight of Vincent's new body, and his jaw fell slack as he stared. "Oh fuck, Vinny… what did he do to you?"

Even with the presence of someone he knew Vincent was unable to break loose of his trance. Porter sighed loudly and started to try and pick up Vincent. "He's been like this all day, we're going to have to carry him."

"Shit, this is going to slow us down." Reno said as the draped one of Vincent's arms around his shoulders. With the two men now supporting Vincent's weight they started out of the room.

Hojo continued to hide, coming to realize that Jaras was making his way away from the door and toward the back of the lab where he was hiding. As a loss for what to do, quietly Hojo whispered a command into the air, something that would only be picked up by his computer.

"Mr. Strife, please come to the middle of the lab." He said in a deathly whisper.

From a dark corner, the newly repaired living robot moved. He strode toward the middle of the room as ordered, staring directly at Vincent as it was programmed to do when it didn't see Hojo around.

Vincent's previously unseeing eyes locked into Cloud's gaze and his body suddenly went rigid as the memory of Tseng's command rang through his mind. _If Cloud isn't willing to go with you on his own, then you are ordered to kill him._

Out of the corner of his eye Vincent caught sight of his Death Penalty upon Porter's hip. In one fluid motion, he ripped the gun from the other man's side and aimed it directly at Cloud before him. Acting more upon instinct than conscious thought, Vincent pulled the trigger repeatedly until the gun would fire no more.

Cloud's head was struck by the barrage of bullets; his face at once becoming unrecognizable as the multitude of projectiles shattered his skull into countless fragments. The computer within his cranium was destroyed beyond all repair. As the computer's commands to continue the body's life functions ceased, Cloud's body fell backwards; dead for the second and final time. A crimson pool began at once to collect where Cloud's head would have landed had it still been intact.

Everyone in the room including Hojo was stunned by this action. With the gun emptied into Cloud, Vincent's arm dropped back to his side and he stared at where his former friend was now laying. There was some presence now within his consciousness and he grew aware of the fact he was with ASRIO.

Reno stepped back, his ears ringing terribly from the gunfire. "Holy shit, that's a nice how do ya' do. You just killed Cloud!"

Vincent didn't say anything, and needing to escape the lab he bolted for the door. The other men quickly followed, knowing that Vincent had the right idea. After clearing the lab doors, Reno hit the elevator call button. He went to Vincent's side and looked into his father in law's weary eyes. "How you doing, Vinny?"

Vincent just looked at him with a slightly confused look. He motioned at his body weakly with his left hand as the gun was still firmly grasped in the right. "Hojo took me apart."

"Yeah, I see that." Reno crossed his arms, hoping that the elevator would arrive before any guards did. "What the fuck is with this new body?"

Vincent looked down at himself slowly, sickened by what he saw, and what he _didn't._ "Do you think Tifa will still want me?"

"Of course she will." Reno hadn't really appreciated all that had been done to Vincent until now. Noticing his friend's complete emasculation he couldn't help but cringe. "She's not shallow."

Vincent cocked an eyebrow, not too sure.

The elevator doors opened and they started to file in. Porter was the last to step in and as he did so, he heard something behind him.

"Porter!" Hojo had slipped out of the lab and stood just before them. He pulled his small derringer out from under his lab coat and fired one shot into the elevator as the doors shut.

Porter was stuck by the single bullet in his right hip. He fell backward, being caught in Jaras's arms. He screamed from the pain as the bones within were shattered. His leg twisted beneath him at an ungodly angle and he lost feeling below the wound. 

Jaras held him up as he writhed within his grip from agony. Blood poured forth from the wound as the femoral artery had been nicked. Knowing that at the rate he was bleeding he would exsanginate quickly, Jaras looked over at Ericson. "Get a hold of him and get pressure on the gunshot!"

Ericson quickly did as ordered and pressed a hand against the warm flow. Porter continued to struggle in Jaras's grip as the force being applied to save his life sent him to new levels of pain.

The elevator finally arrived up onto the roof, and when the doors opened everyone was relieved to hear the sounds of a helicopter. Brad set the chopper down before them and they made their way to it as fast as they could. Jaras and Ericson still held Porter between them and they managed to get him onboard despite his thrashing. As Vincent stepped out of the elevator, his limbs suddenly lost power and he fell to the ground. Everyone was so focused on Porter at this point that they didn't notice for several seconds that Vincent wasn't with them. Reno did a quick head count and realized that Vincent had gone missing. He turned to see him laying helplessly on the ground just before the elevator doors. "Shit, Vinny, get up!"

Vincent managed to strain his neck to look up. "I can't move!"

"God damn it!" Reno started to run back to pick up Vincent.

The stairwell door to the roof burst open and five armed Shin Ra guards flew out. They were a good fifty yards away from Vincent, but he knew that there was no way that Reno would get to him and drag him to the chopper on time. "Go, Reno! Forget about me!"

Reno disregarded this order and reached Vincent's side. He took Vincent's heavy form up into his arms. "Sorry, but you're what I came for. If I leave without you, Tifa will be pissed."

With the ample amount of adrenaline flowing through his veins, Reno was actually able to make it toward the helicopter fairly quickly.

The guards started to open fire upon Reno as he continued to flee, their bullets narrowly missing their mark. Morris assessed the situation from the chopper door and pulled out his own weapon. With his expert marksmanship, he managed to take out the first guard easily. Upon realizing that they were receiving return fire, the other guards scattered, trying to find any shelter they could upon the roof. This bought Reno the time he needed to get Vincent hauled into the helicopter.

Once onboard, the helicopter took back to the sky. Brad had already received his directions from Porter on how to get to Rayna's house during Reno's call to him earlier which was fortunate as Porter was currently in no state to give directions now.

Reno yelled up to the pilot as Jaras and the others continued to wrestle with the wounded man in an attempt to curb his blood loss. "Get us the fuck to Angel or this bastard's gonna die!"

Brad pushed the old bird as fast as she would go, and in five minutes he was setting it down in the middle of the residential street Rayna lived on.

Inside the house, Angel recognized the sound of the ASRIO chopper and shouted out to the other women. "Let's go, they're here!"

Tifa, Angel, Rayna, and D ran out into the street toward the awaiting helicopter. Several of Rayna's neighbors were standing in their front yards, quite mystified by the sight of a chopper in the middle of the road.

Once onboard, Tifa spotted Vincent heaped onto the floor and she flew to his side. She knelt down beside him and her eyes raced over his body. "Vincent? Oh God, Vincent?"

He looked up at her and offered a weak smile. Wishing that he could move to hold her he was forced to lay still in his paralysis. "Tifa…"

"What's wrong? Why can't you move?" She said, reaching down and taking up his frozen robotic hand in her own.

"Hojo arranged it so I wouldn't be able to function outside the lab." Vincent said matter of factly. His mind was still in a great deal of shock, and he was no where near to being normal. He wanted to whither away and disappear before Tifa looked at him anymore. Had there been anymore tears left within him, they would have fallen.

Tifa saw the pain in his face and stroked his hair with her free hand. "It's all right Vincent. You're with me now."

For her sake, he forced a smile.

Rayna saw the distressed state of Porter and collapsed to her knees next to him. "Porter!"

He managed to come out of his pain driven rage enough to realize she was there. "Rayna… are you all right?"

"Yes, what happened?" She said, terrified by the amount of blood covering his body.

"Hojo shot me." He said, wincing in pain as Angel sat down on the other side of him and started to assess his injury.

Angel tore open her medical bag and started to pull out various items, knowing that she had to mend the damaged artery before he bled to death. It was going to be hard work to do in the shaky and poorly lit helicopter. Quickly she started to get to work upon him, having to ask Ericson and Morris to hold him down.

D started to growl upon seeing so many strangers piled upon his master, and Rayna was forced to hold the dog back so that the work on her mate could continue uninterrupted. 


	96. Regression

Guilt's Cost: Part XCVI

Regression

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Howdy, see, I did get Vincent out of that lab! And you were starting to doubt me…

Hojo was extremely frustrated with himself as he ran back into the lab to retrieve his cooler containing the embryos. He was aware that his aim had been poor and that given a little luck, Porter would survive the injury he'd given him. The scientist managed to shrug this off however, deciding that Porter was a pointless little fuck in the grand scheme of things and his survival wouldn't much matter. Far better men had joined the ranks of ASRIO over the years, and Hojo's life for the most part had gone on unaffected. 

Having been alerted that there had been gunfire in the lab, several guards were dispatched there and they burst forth through the doors. They flew around the room, searching for any remaining intruders. 

The presence of these crude men in his lab infuriated Hojo, especially after the last time they had set a grenade off in here destroying months of work. He flared with anger, wishing they were chasing after the intruders rather than invading his personal space. "They aren't here you morons! They're headed for the roof! Get out!"

The guards halted upon Hojo's verbal barrage. They were torn between their orders to secure the room and obey the madman. Reluctantly they filed out deciding that they would take their chances with their commander rather than with Hojo.

Hojo went over to his computer and hit a COM button. Rude's voice answered. "Professor? What's going on?"

"ASRIO just stole one of my specimens. Mr. Valentine to be exact. It would appear that Porter was with them. In light of his sudden career change, I'm going to need someone else's escort to D-2." Hojo said, attempting to sound as pleasant as the circumstances would allow. He was hoping that Rude himself would volunteer, as he was one of the last people he felt he could trust within Shin Ra.

Rude sighed heavily, not wanting to have to deal with Hojo this close to getting to go home for the evening. Rude had overheard Hojo and Harwin discuss the location of the secret lab before, and he had no desire to go up to the plate much less into one of the burned out reactors. Unfortunately Hojo was one of the few people within the cooperation that had the authority to order Rude around. "I'll be there in a minute."

"Ah, thank you very much, Rude." Hojo licked his lips as he smiled to himself. "You will be greatly rewarded for your loyalty."

***

As the chopper rushed them homeward, Angel worked feverishly to try and save the young Turk's life. Having to work without the benefit of anesthesia, she had to deal with his struggles against those attempting to hold him still for her. Even with Jaras, Ericson, and Morris putting their full weight on him, he was still fairly mobile. Reno knelt at Angel's side, acting as her surgical assistant retrieving items from her bag and handing them to her. Rayna found herself unable to watch the spectacle and huddled in the corner with her arms tightly around D. She was deathly afraid for Porter's life, not knowing what would become of her if he were to die. 

Tifa was all too absorbed in Vincent's current state to notice much of what was happening around her. She stared down at her husband, seeing all that had been done to him. Vincent wasn't able to look at her anymore, as his shame over his new physical state choked in on him. Not only would he never be able to make love to Tifa again, he wouldn't be able to hold her with his non-functional arms. Even if they did work, they still weren't his own…

Tifa found herself unable to hold back her tears any longer. What Vincent assumed to be on her mind wasn't. She was upset over what had been done to him, but her feelings in no way were directed Vincent himself. She wept over the thought of the pain that she knew he had suffered, and over the cruelty of his recent amputation. The sight of his arm laying before her in the garbage bag was forever burned into her. But the tears she cried were not truly ones of sadness; rather they were pure relief at having Vincent back again. 

Tifa threw herself down upon him, burying her face in the curve of his neck and sliding her arms under his shoulders. "I was so scared I would never see you again…"

"What did Hojo do to you?" Vincent asked, closing his eyes and enjoying the sensation of her presence.

"He just did a little surgery on me to get eggs, that's all." Tifa sighed.

"Are you all right? He didn't do _anything_ else?" Vincent remembered that Hojo had claimed not to have sexually assaulted Tifa, but he wouldn't believe it until he heard it from her.

"That's it, Vincent." Tifa kissed his cheek. "Other than the surgery he didn't hurt me."

He was comforted to hear this but the stress of all that had gone on had still taken its toll on him and he slowly started to feel distant again. His momentary escape into sanity was fading now that he knew that Tifa was for certain safe.

As Vincent fell into silence, Tifa sat back up. Gazing down upon him, she could see that he was shutting himself off from the rest of the world. His eyes again became dull and he stared up into space. She reached down and shook him gently, not knowing what was going on. "Vincent? Are you okay?"

He may have made a slight response, but nothing big enough to be noticed. It was like he was falling asleep while being awake. A general void again took over his mind and his consciousness went dead.

"Vincent!" Tifa shook him more violently, fearing that he was dying. "Reno! Angel! Something's wrong!"

Angel, who had finally finished working upon Porter looked over at Tifa as she placed the last bit of medical tape on the compression dressing on Porter's hip. "What's going on?"

Tifa was growing frantic. "He's not answering me!"

By the panic in Tifa's voice, Angel knew that something was profoundly wrong. She rushed to her father's side and began to examine him carefully. All of his vital statistics seemed normal and Angel furrowed her brow. She had not only been educated in physical medicine, but in psychology as well. There was a growing suspicion with in her as she looked at him. "Tifa, there's nothing I can do for him right now."

"What do you mean? What is wrong with him?" Tifa drew her hands up to her mouth, fearing the worst.

"He's suffering from overstress, Tifa." Angel said, backing away from Vincent a little. "Shell shock, if you will."

Tifa blinked in confusion and then turned her eyes back to Vincent. "Will he be okay?"

Angel sighed. "I can't really say, Tifa. That might not be it, we'll have to look into it more when we get back to the base. Just stay with him and keep an eye on him, all right? I have to go keep watch over Porter."

Tifa stared down at Vincent helplessly. She had no real understanding about what was happening to him, and she was afraid. Tifa moved so she could sit flat on the floor and pulled Vincent to her so that his upper body was cradled in her arms. His vacant crimson eyes seemed to look right through her as she slowly rocked him. Vincent was still there, somewhere, and it would be left to her to get him back.


	97. Homeward

Guilt's Cost: Part XCVII

Homeward

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Reno continued to sit with Angel at the fallen Turk's side for awhile, afraid that she might need him to help her further. Once it became clear that Porter was asleep and was most likely going to stay that way for the rest of the trip, Reno dared to move. He crawled over to where Tifa was holding Vincent's unmoving body. Angel had told him that Vincent was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome and he needed to see how Tifa was coping with it.

He sat next to Tifa and placed an arm around her shoulders. "How you doing?"

She hadn't even noticed him move over to sit beside her and she was a little surprised to realize that he was there. "Uh, hey Reno."

"You didn't answer my question." Reno said, squeezing her within his one armed embrace.

"I don't know…" Tifa hung her head to stare down into Vincent's blank face. His eyes were, for the moment closed. "Tell me he's going to be okay…"

Reno's heart went out to her. It was all too clear to him at this point how deeply she cared for Vincent and it was also equally clear that there was something profoundly wrong with him. For her sake, he managed a slight smile. "Come on, little lady, you know as well as I do that Vinny's one tough son of a bitch. In a day from now he'll be talking you ear off so much that you'll wish he was out again."

His attempt to soothe her didn't seem to work, and the darkness around her deepened. "Reno, I'm so scared… I keep losing him…"

"Naw, he's right there." Reno shook her slightly.

She finally managed to break her gaze away from Vincent and she looked up at Reno, a look of puzzlement upon her face. "What?"

Reno, in a rare occurrence, blushed from the stupidity of his own comment. "I'm sorry, Tifa. I just can't stand to see you like this."

The right side of her mouth tugged up in a brief grin. "I know you're trying to help, thanks."

"Yeah, well, I do what I can." Reno examined Vincent's body. "Hojo really did a number on him this time."

She nodded, feeling tears sting her eyes. "Yeah…"

"I'm really sorry, Tifa." He whispered.

"It's not your fault, Reno." She responded kindly.

"Yes, it is." His shame became tangible. "I should have known that Hojo was setting a trap, and I never should have let you and Vincent go into that lab alone."

"You didn't know… none of us did." Tifa stroked Vincent's hair as she thought. "I feel like a damned fool for risking Vincent's safety over the hope that Cloud really was still alive. It must have killed him to think that I was still harboring some kind of feelings for Cloud. That's why I wanted him to be wed to me before we went, so he wouldn't think that I was doing this for anything more than friendship for Cloud."

"Tseng's the one who sent us on this mission, and then only out of concern that Cloud might give Hojo some sort of help in his mad ambitions. Vincent knew that. It's not as though you came up with this whole thing on your own. Hojo played all of us like fucking toys, knowing exactly what it would take to get us to go into that lab." Reno couldn't stand the thought that Tifa would blame herself for any of this. "You didn't do anything wrong."

She continued to stare down at Vincent, coming to realize that his Death Penalty was still clutched tightly in his seized up right hand. Tifa carefully reached down and pried the weapon from his grip and handed it over to Reno. "Keep this, for now."

He took the weapon and laid it on the floor next to him. The sight of the gun prompted him to tell Tifa something she did not yet know. "Vincent kept his order."

"What's that?" She was lost to his meaning.

"Tseng ordered him to kill Cloud if things didn't work out right, remember?" Reno hung his head.

"Yes." She answered simply.

"And he did." He sighed. "When we went into the room where he was being held he was laying there just like he is now. Porter and I started to drag him out, but when he caught sight of Cloud standing before us in the lab, he woke up, took his gun from Porter, and shot Cloud. There's no way that Hojo's gonna be able to use him anymore."

Tifa turned her tired eyes up to him. "So he was like this before?"

"Yes, and he woke up. So don't go losing hope on me, all right?" Reno gave her another weak smile.

The knowledge that Cloud's body would no longer be used by Hojo gave her an odd sense of comfort. If Vincent came back once to fulfill a mission, then there was every chance that he would come back again for her. Maybe it was wrong, but she couldn't help but be pleased that Vincent had kept his promise to Tseng. Cloud was finally dead, once and for all, in both body and mind. Tifa hoped that this meant that he was with Aeris now, somewhere drifting in the life-stream.

Reno picked up on the small change in her demeanor. "What are you thinking?"

"Just relieved, for Cloud's sake." Tifa said quietly.

Reno nodded, knowing that the sight of her former husband walking around under Hojo's direction must have been very hard for her. As a silence fell over them, he couldn't help but find himself staring at Vincent again. The only portions of Vincent's body that were real anymore were his upper body and head. Everything else was mechanical now, and Reno was sickened by it. As a male, he found the current state of Vincent's lower body disturbing. Vincent's now absolutely genderless form drew his attention, and before he was able to stop himself, Reno said something more than a little off color. "Since Vinny doesn't have the equipment anymore, feel free to come to me with your womanly needs."

Tifa hauled off and hit him in the jaw as hard as her tired and stressed state would allow. No sooner had her blow landed did she immediately regret it. "Reno, I'm sorry…"

He wiped his bloodied and throbbing lip with the sleeve to his suit coat. "No, I deserved that."

She felt a little uneasy as she realized that everyone was now staring at her and Reno. Not knowing what else to do, Tifa dropped her gaze back to Vincent, trying to block out everyone else around her.

Reno, extremely upset at himself for his usual lack of tact, picked up Vincent's gun and got up and made his way back toward Angel. He needed one of her instant cold packs for his face before it got any worse. Tifa had packed quite a punch, and his face felt as though it had gone nine rounds with a professional boxer from the one simple hit.

Jaras, who had previously become wrapped back up in the book he'd produced from his pocket looked up to see the sight of a bleeding and embarrassed Reno retreating from Tifa's side. He saw the depressed look upon Tifa's face, and although he tried to restrain himself from doing so, he soon found himself going over to take up the place so recently vacated by Reno.

Tifa looked over, a little surprised to see that Jaras had managed to escape his book. There was a strange look upon his face, and Tifa was concerned. "Hey, Jaras."

He produced a smile for her, and dared to place a hand on her shoulder. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. You know, wanting to make sure Reno didn't say anything to upset you. Which I guess is stupid, because he obviously did."

She couldn't help but return his grin, the memory of striking Reno almost humorous. "I have a feeling it wasn't the first time he's been hit for saying something dumb."

"Probably not." Jaras let his hand fall away from her, fearing that too much contact with her would drive him mad. "But are you doing all right?"

She just motioned vaguely down at Vincent. There were no words left within her to describe how she felt. Even if she had them, Tifa didn't want to have to rub Jaras's nose in her feelings for Vincent. She knew he was still convinced that his feelings for her were love.

Jaras nodded, knowing what was up. He was hurt by his own words before he spoke them. "He knows you love him, Tifa, and if there is anything that is going to bring him back, it will be that. I just wish there was something I could do."

Tifa raised her eyebrows, a little shocked that he would say that to her. "Just knowing that you're there for me helps."

_If you only knew _how _much I am here for you, Tifa. _Jaras's saddened eyes betrayed his thoughts. "I just want what's best for you, and my father."

Tifa couldn't bear to see the pain in his eyes anymore and looked back down at Vincent. She pitied Jaras for loving her. "Thank you, Jaras."

He moved to get back up, not wanting to make her uncomfortable by his continued presence. "It's nothing."

She watched as he made his way back to where he had been sitting. He at once pulled his book out again and started to read. At least, that's what Tifa thought he was doing. The truth was that he wasn't reading at all, nor had he been this entire time. Rather, he had been watching her over the top of the small novel, pretending to be absorbed in the words whenever she would glance over in his direction. His mind was tormented by the thoughts of what she might have endured at the hands of the scientist. Although Vincent's wounds were far more obvious, there was something inside that was hurting her terribly, and he wanted to be the one to alleviate that. But he knew Tifa wouldn't let him that close. She never would.

Angel looked up to her husband as he landed back at her side. She had seen Tifa hit him and knew what he wanted. Reaching into her medical bag, she pulled out a small plastic bag and broke something within it. After a few seconds, the bag became very cold, and she handed it to Reno who at once placed it up against his lip.

Angel shook her head and sighed. "I don't want to know what you said to deserve that."

Muffled behind the ice pack, Reno laughed. "That's nice, cause I wasn't gonna tell you anyway."

"Have you called Tseng?" Angel asked, already knowing the answer.

"Oh…" Reno realized that he should have at some point attempted to contact his boss, but hadn't. He dropped the ice pack for the moment and pulled his phone from his coat pocket.

On the other end, Tseng's voice answered. "Hello?"

"Hey old man, still alive?" Reno smiled at himself upon hearing Tseng's familiar tone.

"Yes, what's going on? You were supposed to be back yesterday!" A short pause. "I was getting worried."

"Aw, you were worried? That's sweet." Even now Reno couldn't help but taunt his boss.

"Cut the shit, Reno, what's going on?" He was obviously desperate for information.

"Well, we had a little chopper trouble on the way in and we had to drive into Midgar while Brad fixed the piece of crap. We stayed at the hotel across the street and staked the Shin Ra building out. Then the damnedest thing happened. Some sorry Turk motherfucker came out of the building with Tifa. Turns out Hojo was letting her go."

"But you have her and she's safe, right?" Tseng wished that Reno would just get to the point.

"Yeah, we got her, more or less okay." Reno sighed. "The Turk with her was willing to help us in return for us helping get an implant out of his girlfriend, which Angel did. With his help, we were able to get into the Shin Ra building without any trouble and nabbed Vincent."

"How is he?" Tseng asked.

"Not good." Reno lowered his voice, not wanting Tifa to hear what he had to say. "Hojo really fucked with him. Cut off his right arm and damned near turned him into a robot. He's not able to move at all and he's slipped into some sort of trance. I don't know if he'll ever be all right."

To learn of his brother's state pained Tseng deeply, and he found it hard to go on. "So Hojo just wanted Vincent to torture him?"

"He wasn't after Vincent, Tseng." Reno fidgeted with the Death Penalty laying at his side. "He was after Tifa."

"Why?"

"It's the Neo-Jenova Project. He took some of Tifa's eggs. He's going to start the project, using her genetic material." Reno said quietly.

"Oh dear God…" Tseng fell back into the chair he had been standing before. Quickly he popped some more of his heart pills beneath his tongue. "Neo-Jenova is underway?"

"It will be soon." Reno looked at Porter's sleeping form before him. "But I've got some good news."

"And that is?" Tseng needed anything positive at this point.

"I know where the secret Midgar facility is now." Reno smiled to himself.

"No kidding?" Tseng's voice grew excited.

"Yeah, turns out this Turk that helped us out was Hojo's personal guard. He knows all kinds of shit, including the location of the lab. He's with us, and God willing he lives, he's gonna join us." Reno couldn't help but pat the sleeping Turk on the head.

"You're bringing a Turk back!" Tseng stood back up. "What the hell are you thinking?"

"Hey, he's cool, trust me." Reno looked over to where Rayna was sitting with D. "His dog and his girlfriend are here too. We're over the ocean now, so it shouldn't be too long."

"What the fuck, Reno!" The fact that Tseng was swearing gave away his anxiety. "He's a _Turk_!"

"Yeah, and just like Tifa reminded me, so were _we._" Reno said simply.

"I hope you know what you're doing…" Tseng sighed.

Reno couldn't help but smile at the fact that he was having the same conversation that he and Tifa had gone through earlier that same day, except now the rolls were reversed. "Trust me, Tseng. Bye."


	98. Recalled Moment

Guilt's Cost: Part XCVIII

Recalled Moment

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Okay, this is the last time I will have any opening words before a chapter. I've spent a lot of time on this stupid story and am making nothing on it, so please keep the negative s*** to yourself. 

For all of the readers who have been kind to me, I thank you. Know that it is not you at whom I am angry.

Oh God, I got so mad I almost forgot:

A special goodbye to Alex Stuerman. He was a dear friend and I will miss him, all of those who knew him will. Eleven years just isn't enough.

10/01/91-2/11/02

Sorry but it's been a real lousy day.

***

It was late morning by the time the helicopter set down in Costa del Sol. Several members of Dr. Arlin's medical staff hurried out onto the airfield with stretchers ready to take Porter and Vincent down into the infirmary. With the two of them rushed off into the base (Angel disappearing with them, of course), everyone else found themselves alone under the late summer sun.

Tifa slid out of the chopper wanting to run after Vincent but found herself unable to do so. She was incredibly stiff from sitting with Vincent held against her for several hours and it pained her to simply stand, much less run.

Reno made his way over to her side, seeing the pained expression upon her face. "You doing okay?"

She stretched, now freed from the confines of the chopper and offered him a brief smile. "I've been better."

"Yeah, well, Vinny's in good hands now. Don't worry." He said, putting his arm around her shoulders.

She leaned on him for support as they started toward the entrance to the base. It felt as though all the muscles in her legs were cramping at once, and there was still a dull ache within her abdomen. "Reno?"

"What's up, babe?" He said, looking down into her eyes.

"Uh, thanks." Tifa dropped her gaze to the ground.

"For what?" He was confused.

She looked back up at him and smiled. "For helping save Vincent."

"Well Hell, Tifa." He laughed. "It's my job, you know."

Jaras trailed behind the others as they filed back down into the base. He held his book in one hand and allowed his sword to drag along the ground behind him. Why he was so absolutely wiped out he did not know. Well, he did know that some of it was due to the fact he hadn't slept in two days, but the exhaustion went further than that. He sighed heavily as he pulled the base door shut behind him and went toward him room.

Once inside, he laid his sword carefully across the dresser and sat his book and reading glasses next to it. He pulled the band holding his hair back away, allowing his silver locks to again fall free, enveloping him. He brought his weary eyes up to gaze into the mirror hanging over the dresser. The sight of his haggard and stressed face frightened him. There seemed to be something within his own eyes that he had never remembered seeing before. The feeling within his heart at that moment was both alien and yet somehow oddly familiar. Jaras realized that he was feeling a need as deep and as controlling as his love for Tifa. Jaras felt the need for _revenge._ He needed to get to Hojo, to take out all of his frustrations and anger upon the scientist; not only for the state of his own pathetic and guilt-ridden existence, but for all of the pain and misery the madman had caused Tifa and his father.

Jaras became frightened at what he saw and quickly turned away. If it was revenge that had driven him to madness as Sephiroth, then it only served to reason that it would do it to him now as Jaras. Before leaving Mideel just a short time before he had never had such thoughts or feelings, and he was starting to miss the life he had led there in ignorance.

Slowly he began to pull the suit from his body, letting it fall piece by piece onto the floor. He made his way to the small bathroom of his quarters and turned the shower on. Once the water was running hot, he stepped in. The feeling of the burning water upon his body would at least for the moment help clear his mind of his worries.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, taking deep breaths of the steam filled air. Suddenly an image flashed before his eyes, something he never should have remembered. It was an image of Hojo. Not a picture recalled from one of his many books, but a living, breathing memory of something that happened long ago.

He wasn't Jaras in the memory, he was Sephiroth, but not the SOLDIER General of legend, he was a little boy. Hojo stood looming over him, smiling and laughing. The sound wasn't one of happiness, rather one of cruel pleasure.

The scientist was holding a syringe up between the boy and himself, an expression of madness upon his features. "Oh, Sephiroth… heh… Here's is more Jenova for you. It is this that will make you a _god _among men! Give me your arm, my son… Let me help you gain your full potential. How wonderful it must feel to be the first perfect human in history!"

Jaras opened his eyes and gasped. He reached out and turned the water off with his shaking hand. This was the first memory of his previous existence to ever come back to him and he was absolutely terrified by it. He threw open the shower door and ripped a towel from the wall, hastily drying himself before going back out to the dresser and pulling forth a tee shirt and cut off jeans. He dressed quickly and pulled on his tennis shoes. He needed someone, _anyone_ to be with right now. If he had to suffer gaining anymore memories, he needed to do it with someone else around; otherwise he feared he might lose his mind.

***

Tseng heard of the return of his men and went to the infirmary knowing that Vincent and Tifa would both be there. Upon opening the door, he spotted Tifa lying in a bed with Reno sitting at her side. After he had brought her here, Dr. Arlin had ordered her to lie down while she evaluated the other two men. She knew at the very least that Tifa would be suffering from stress and exhaustion, and she didn't want her to pass out or get sick as she waited for news on Vincent. Vincent and Porter were in the other end of the long room, being evaluated and worked on behind exam curtains out of view.

Tseng started toward Tifa and Reno, wanting to make sure they were both all right after their ordeal. "You're back."

Tifa's face brightened upon seeing Tseng. She had spent plenty of her time between bouts of worry for Vincent thinking about him. "Oh God, Tseng! I'm so glad to see you!"

When he reached her bedside, he bent and gave her a short embrace, relived to know that she was okay. Once he straightened back up, he took up Reno's hand and gave it a quick shake. "I was quite worried about all of you after the chopper didn't return yesterday as planned."

"Well, like I said on the phone, we had a slight change of schedule." Reno smiled, happy to be safe at home again.

"And everyone else is fine? With the obvious exceptions, of course." Tseng asked, waving over toward where Porter and Vincent were being worked up.

"Yeah, Ericson, Morris, Jaras… they're all fine." Reno sighed.

"I'm glad to hear it." Tseng gave a smile of relief. "I hate to bring this up so quickly, but as soon as the Turk is well enough, we need to have a meeting."

"I kind of figured." Reno said, looking away.

"Yes, we have to do something about Hojo before it's too late." Tseng grew clearly upset.

"What?" Tifa asked, fearing that anything that would involve Hojo would also involve her and Vincent, assuming he was ever up to it.

Tseng looked into Tifa's eyes. "We have to prevent him from carrying on the Neo-Jenova Project. Now that he has what he… needs to start the Project it will be only a matter of time before he does something on the level of Sephiroth again."

"Oh…" Tifa dropped her gaze to her hands folded in her lap. This meant the death of any possible child that Hojo was attempting to create with her eggs. After all of her desperate desire to have a child, now she was faced with having to kill it.

All eyes suddenly went to the entryway of the infirmary when Jaras burst through the doors. The abject look of panic on his face filled everyone with fear.


	99. Exam

Guilt's Cost: Part XCIX

Exam

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Jaras was still trembling as he attempted to catch his breath. His eyes locked with Tifa's as he scanned the room. If there was anyone who could bring him back to the present, it would be her.

Tifa felt scared as she looked at Jaras, although she knew not why. Whatever was bothering him was serious. His face was ashen, and his eyes were wide with some unnamed terror. "Jaras, are you okay?"

He walked up to Tifa's bedside just to Tseng's left. He tried to smile to cover his anxiety, but it didn't come off well. "Yeah, I think I am."

"What happened?" She asked, reaching out and taking up one of his hands.

Jaras stared down to where his hand met hers. Tifa's touch was electrifying to his every sense, and the fear within him started to wane. "I… I remembered…"

Tifa at once knew what he meant and got to her knees in the bed. She leaned forward and placed her arms around him, wanting him to not somehow forget who he was now. "Jaras, it's okay."

He closed his eyes and returned her embrace. For the moment, he grew completely unaware that Tseng and Reno were standing so close by. Jaras nuzzled down into the nape of her neck. "I saw Hojo… He was experimenting on me and I was a boy…"

"It's okay, Jaras." She continued trying to soothe him, still feeling him shake within her arms. "It's just a memory."

"But it's one of _his…_" His voice wavered. "I was Sephiroth… not Jaras."

She broke off the embrace and placed a hand on either side of his face, locking him into her stare. "Even if you remembered everything it wouldn't change who you are now, Jaras. You aren't Sephiroth anymore. He's part of your past, not your present."

Being this close to her was starting to drive him mad. He gently pulled away from her, fearing that if he remained in their current position very long that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from kissing her again. "It just scared me, that's all."

"But you're okay, right?" Tifa said, settling back down upon her bed.

"Yeah." He at once grew a little self-conscious about his emotional display in front of the other two men present. He glanced briefly over at Reno and then Tseng, hoping that they wouldn't think any less of him for it.

Reno bit his lip from making anymore inappropriate comments. He had already surpassed his quota for the day and wasn't about to press his luck. Especially now that Jaras was regaining some sense of who he was.

Tseng on the other hand was filled with nothing but pity for the man next to him. When the others had all been gone on the trip to Midgar to spring Cloud, he had spent considerable time with Jaras at his hospital bedside. He had come to know Jaras for who he now was, and in doing so he had learned what a truly sensitive person he had become. Tseng reached up and put a hand on Jaras's shoulder, wanting to let him know he cared. "Was it only the one memory?"

"So far… but I'm afraid that others will follow." Jaras said, giving his uncle a brief smile. There was still a feeling within him that he couldn't suppress, and he asked something without thinking about it. "If you send people back to Midgar to stop Hojo, I wish to go."

Tseng was shocked that he had brought them back to the conversation they were having before Jaras had arrived in the room. "There will be a mission, but we are in no way prepared to plan it as of yet. We need the help of the Turk before we can do that. He has knowledge we will need to pull it off. If you truly wish to go when the time comes, I will not stop you, but please be certain that it is what you wish to do."

Jaras looked back down at Tifa, seeing her pained and tired face. He answered without ever looking back up at Tseng. "I have to go. Stopping Hojo is the only thing that will ever really free me of my past."

Dr. Arlin emerged from behind the curtain obscuring her two patients from view. She walked over to where the three men and Tifa were waiting. She pulled off her exam gloves and pushed her glasses up higher on her nose. "Well, thanks to Angel, it looks like the Turk will be fine. He's going to need surgery to repair his hip joint and for that I'm going to have to call in a specialist, but he'll live."

"What about Vincent?" Tifa clasped her hands together, fearing any bad news.

The doctor looked thoughtful for a moment. "As Angel had speculated, I believe he is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress. But the state of his physical body is beyond me. I heard how he became unable to move after leaving the Shin Ra building, but I can't do anything about it. His body is more electronics than anything else, and that just isn't my area of expertise."

Tears immediately marked Tifa's cheeks as the doctor admitted her inability to help his body regain mobility. "But will he ever come back and be normal… mentally?"

Dr. Arlin dropped her gaze to the side. "It's up to him and how well he learns to deal with what he's been through. Some people come around and go on living normal lives. It's really hard to say. Most cases of this are different from one to the next, and this early on it's hard to give any prognosis good or otherwise."

"Poor Vincent…." Tifa covered her face with her hands. She couldn't bear the thought of Vincent living out the rest of his life paralyzed and unresponsive. Tifa feared that he was going to be caught amid the same hellish dreams that had plagued his stasis sleep, unaware that his mind was void completely; beyond dreaming.

Reno, Jaras, and Tseng were silent, each unable to come up with something to say to help comfort Tifa. They all had their doubts about Vincent ever being normal again. After a few minutes, Tseng did think of at least one thing. "Maybe I can get a electronics specialist down here to take a look at Vincent when he comes around. There might be something they could do to repair his body…"

Dr. Arlin looked up at Tseng. "You haven't seen your brother since he came back, have you?"

"No." Tseng said simply.

The doctor turned around and started back to where she had Vincent laying. "Come with me, Tseng. You need to see him."

Tseng followed her, not knowing at all what to expect. He slipped behind the curtain with her and saw Vincent lying in a hospital bed. His body was covered with a sheet, only his face visible. Vincent's crimson eyes were again open, and he was staring at nothing. This alone was unnerving to Tseng, but when the doctor pulled the sheet off his brother, Tseng felt his knees get weak.

He grabbed the arm rail to Vincent's bed, needing to support himself as he continued to gaze down upon his brother. Tseng had seen Vincent in his entirety before the last mission and thought that Hojo had done all that he could in the name of cruelty to him, but now he knew better. Vincent was hardly human at all; his black metal limbs and lower body shining slightly in the hospital light.

Tseng drew his hands up to his mouth and suppressed his cry of disgust. "Oh God, he cut off his other arm!"

The doctor nodded. "And he's solid mechanics from the waist down. Before he was at least a little human you know…"

Tseng's eyes traveled across his brother's body, coming to appreciate Vincent's complete emasculation. It at once brought to his mind the thought that Chaos would at least never be able to rape Tifa again. But the thought of the demon was a double-edged sword. If Vincent wasn't in control of his mind, then how come Chaos wasn't using this opportunity to use Vincent's body? "Where's Chaos?"

The doctor looked up at Tseng. "What?"

"Janice, where's Chaos?" He motioned at his brother's lifeless body. "The demon would never let a chance to control Vincent slip past like this."

The doctor looked down at her patient for a moment, realizing that the skin on Vincent's chest was no longer that of the demon. "I don't see any evidence of it either."

Tifa, despite the protests of Reno and Jaras had gotten up from her bed and made her way to where the doctor was hiding Vincent. She heard the last of their conversation and threw back the curtain revealing herself. "Because Chaos is dead."

"What do you mean? How?" Tseng spun to face her.

Tifa walked up to Vincent's side and took up one of his cybernetic hands. "Hojo tried to get Chaos to take over Vincent in the lab, but Vincent was able to fight the demon off. Once that happened, Hojo screamed something about his experiment being a failure and he injected Vincent with something that caused Chaos to… die."

Tseng and the doctor exchanged amazed glances at one another. At the very least, the wretched demon was no longer going to risk harming Tifa. If Vincent was able to snap out of the spell he was in, his life would be greatly improved for having lost the monster within.

Dr. Arlin finally shook herself from her reverie and she moved her gaze between Reno, Jaras, and Tseng. "I hate to ask this, but I will need the three of you to leave. I need to examine Tifa now and I know that she would appreciate some privacy."

Reluctantly all three men agreed, each taking their turn at embracing Tifa briefly before leaving. They each had their own reasons to hate leaving her, but knew that the doctor's order could not be disobeyed.


	100. Silence

Guilt's Cost: Part C

Silence

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Chapter 100! Thanks.

After Tifa's exam, Dr. Arlin gave her a clean bill of health. She simply ordered her patient to finish the antibiotics that Tifa had been prescribed after the attack on the airship, knowing that they would protect her from infection after Hojo's surgery. Her only other recommendation was for Tifa to go to her room and get some sleep.

As exhausted as Tifa was, she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep knowing that Vincent was lying alone in a hospital bed. She produced a weak smile. "I don't think I'd be able to rest."

Dr. Arlin looked at Tifa over the top of her glasses. She disappeared for a moment, only to reemerge with a small vial of pills. "Take two of these, they'll help you relax."

"Oh, no, I don't want any drugs." Tifa said, putting her hands up in defense.

"No, they're not anything bad, Tifa." The doctor pushed the vial into one of Tifa's palms. "They're just antihistamines, like you would take for allergies."

"But those always make me drowsy, and I don't have any sinus problems today." Tifa replied, unable to make the connection in her own spent mind.

"Exactly, that's the point." The doctor said turning away.

"Oh…" Tifa looked down at the vial of small powder blue pills and shook it slightly. She couldn't really object to the doctor's order of sleep knowing that she did need it. But first she would have to see Vincent one last time.

The doctor had for the moment disappeared back into her office to arrange for the orthopedic surgeon to come down and help pin the Turk's leg back together, leaving Tifa free to roam the infirmary. She pushed back the curtain that the doctor had again pulled around Vincent's bed and went to his side.

He was apparently asleep again; or at least his eyes were closed for the time being. An extra blanket had been pulled over him and he was only visible from the shoulders up. Tifa reached out and ran a hand through his hair. "Oh Vincent, I want you to come back."

There didn't seem to be any reaction from him at her words, but he did hear. Somewhere deep within, Vincent was fighting to reclaim his mind.

Tifa sighed deeply and leaned forward, allowing her lips to meet his own. Although she figured she was just imagining it, she thought that he hadn't remained completely passive through it. Slowly she stood back and looked back down upon him. "I'm gonna go get a little rest for a while, but I'll be back for you, all right? I love you, Vincent."

Tifa turned away and shuffled to her room. Upon entering she suddenly felt very alone. She had spent so much time over the last several days thinking about what was happening to Vincent that she had given scant thought to what she herself had gone through. Somewhere in a dark, rat-infested lab in a burned out reactor, Hojo was creating the child that she had so desperately wanted. She knew that there was no way that Tseng was going to allow Hojo to carry on the project and Tifa hoped that they would manage to stop him before he had a chance to start the growth of a child mothered by her and fathered by the madman. Somehow, Tifa already knew that it was too late. When they went to stop him there would be a baby of some stage of development that would have to be dealt with. While in the lab she had thought that if faced with such a child she would kill it, not wishing to allow Hojo to propagate himself, but now her resolve didn't seem so certain. Even if Hojo was the father of such a child, once he was gone there was every chance that she would be able to raise the baby to a normal adulthood. She knew Vincent would have reservations about raising another man's child, _especially _Hojo's but if he truly loved her he would understand.

Needing to free her mind from these torturous thoughts, Tifa opened the vial that Dr. Arlin had given her and dumped two of the small blue pills into her hand. She set the vial on the dresser and picked up the water bottle she had sitting there. After placing the two bitter pills upon her tongue, she took a swig from the bottle and forced them down. It would take twenty minutes or so for her to notice the effect of the drug and she went into the bathroom to take a much needed shower before the grogginess set in.

***

After seeing that Porter was going to be all right, Angel had slipped from the infirmary to take Rayna and D somewhere quiet. She led them to the cafeteria knowing that Rayna would need to eat after all that had happened. Rayna landed heavily in a seat and D laid down under the table as Angel went to retrieve their food. She soon returned and placed a tray upon the table. Angel picked up one plate of plain roast beef from the tray and set it down upon the floor, allowing the dog to have it.

Rayna stared at her own meal, knowing that she needed it but not feeling much like eating. Her mind was still torn up over the image of Porter writhing and bleeding upon the helicopter's floor.

Angel could see the pain in the other woman's face and reached across the table patting her hand. "He's all right now, Rayna. Dr. Arlin will have someone come down tomorrow to do his surgery and he'll be fine. The best thing you can do for him is to take care of yourself now."

Rayna smiled faintly in response to Angel's kind words. "Okay."

Angel nodded in approval as her tablemate slowly began to eat the food presented to her. She felt as though she should go and check in with Tifa, but knew that Dr. Arlin was ordering her to rest. Rayna seemed to need her right now anyway. "So, how long had you been working for Shin Ra?"

Rayna swallowed her mouthful. "I got a job for them just after I got my accounting degree, I guess it's been about four years."

"Oh, and Porter?" She asked.

"He's been a Turk for three." Rayna smiled briefly. "I really don't know all that much about him beyond that."

"So you haven't been with him that long?" Angel wondered.

"We've been going out for several weeks." Rayna looked away. "But he's kind of shy and doesn't talk about himself much. And of course, being a Turk he's not allowed to talk about work beyond the basics."

"You two seem to care for one another very much, though." Angel grinned.

Rayna visibly blushed. "I love him, and he says he loves me. It's strange; I've never really felt like this for anyone in my life. The fact that he risked his own life to see that I was kept safe by turning to you guys and getting that implant out of me… is kind of mind boggling."

Angel laughed quietly. "Yeah, love's funny that way."

"So, do you have anyone?" Rayna felt the need to turn the conversation away from herself.

"Yes." Angel smiled brightly. "Reno and I are married."

"The red head?" Rayna asked.

"Yeah." 

Rayna had thought him a little too crude for her liking. "Oh, I see. It can't be any worse than being involved with a Turk, I guess."

The fact that Rayna hadn't yet been won over by Reno's finer charms was obvious, but not a surprise to Angel. No one ever seemed to like her husband from the start. "Well, Reno _was _a Turk."

"Really?" Rayna's eyes went wide in surprise. "A former Turk working for ASRIO?"

Angel set down her fork and leaned forward. "You don't know a lot about ASRIO, do you?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm afraid not."

"Well, there are several Turks here." Angel sat back up. "Reno, Vincent, and Tseng."

"Who's Tseng?" Rayna asked.

It was clear to Angel that Rayna knew nothing about this organization. "Tseng is the leader of ASRIO. He was a Turk to President Shin Ra and later his son Rufus. He is also Vincent's brother."

Rayna's eyes went wide with understanding. "Oh, no wonder they came back to get him out of the lab then."

"Tseng wouldn't have let anyone remain there, his brother or not, but this has all been a little hard on him, especially in light of his recent bypass surgery." Angel sighed.

"God, that must be terribly stressful for him with a heart condition and all. Is he all right?" She asked.

"Nothing could keep my uncle down." Angel smiled.

More realization crossed Rayna's face. "If he's your uncle, then is Vincent..?"

"My father?" Angel nodded. "Yes, he is."

"How can that be?" Rayna had no understanding of Vincent's past. "He isn't old enough."

"Hojo grew me in an accelerator, and Vincent is seven years older than Tseng." Angel's expression fell. "He was asleep for thirty years, and he doesn't age due to some of the things that Hojo did to him in the past."

Rayna dropped her gaze down to the tabletop. She filled with pity for Angel and her family. Somehow her own problems didn't seem so big anymore. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"Well, what's done is done." Angel said, her voice tinged with remorse.

Reno walked into the room after being ordered from the infirmary by the doctor. He spotted Angel and Rayna and sat down next to his wife, giving her tablemate a wink and a grin. "So, Rayna, you have a thing for Turks, huh?"

Angel slapped him in the arm. "Not now, Reno. She's had a rough day."

Rayna smiled weakly and looked away, amused that Angel didn't pull any punches when it came to keeping her husband in line.

Reno turned his eyes to Angel, a deep look of annoyance upon his face. He reached up without thinking and touched his lip where it was still aching from Tifa's blow earlier. "What the fuck? Is it beat the shit out of Reno day or what? I wish someone would have given me a copy of the memo."

Angel laughed, mocking Reno's false anguish. "Oh, you earn every slap, kick, and punch you get."

"Great, now I'm a victim of spousal abuse." Reno shook his head and looked back over at Rayna. "Do you see the shit I have to deal with?"

Rayna couldn't help herself. "I kind of have to side with Angel on this one. I haven't known you very long, but you seem to have a way of saying the wrong thing."

"Oh, so she already got to you." Reno rolled his eyes. "This is just my fucking day. So the doc thinks your man's gonna be all right?"

Rayna's relief was clear. "That's what Angel said. I owe you all a debt of thanks for taking care of him."

"Well, he helped us get Vinny, it's the least we could do." Reno smiled kindly. He then leaned back and put his arm around Angel. "Tseng's doing good. He came and saw me and Tifa a little while ago."

"Oh, I haven't gotten to see him yet." Angel stared into Reno's eyes. "And how's Tifa?"

"She's a big girl." Reno reached out and grabbed Angel's small bag of chips from the table. "She's fine."

Their conversation had to be halted momentarily as Reno wrestled with the cellophane bag rather loudly until he had achieved his goal and dumped several of the chips into his mouth. After finishing those, he reached forward and took Angel's soda from the table drinking it all down and setting the empty glass back on the table. That done, he looked back over at Angel. "Jaras came running into the infirmary while Tseng and I were talking to Tifa. He was really freaked out."

"What do you mean?" Angel asked, suddenly very concerned.

Reno shrugged. "He's starting to remember things."

"Oh, poor Jaras." Angel hung her head. "It must have been going to Midgar and seeing the inside of a lab that did it. Tseng never should have let him go."

"Maybe, maybe not, we don't really know." He sighed. "Besides, he never would have taken no for an answer. He's got the same God damned stubborn and stupid streak as his daddy and sis."

His comment hit Rayna hard. "Jaras is related too?"

Angel looked up at her. "Yes, he is."

"Oh, this is strange, but I kind of kept thinking that he was… Sephiroth." Rayna hung her head, "but I guess that just sounds silly."

Angel smiled. "No, it doesn't. He is."

Rayna gawked in shock. "He _is_? Why…"

"Why is he here?" Angel finished for her.

"Yeah." She was awestruck.

"After Meteor, he fell into the life-stream and was stripped of his memory. He washed up in Mideel and started a new life. We only just recently found him and he wished to join us." She answered quietly.

Rayna was speechless. The thought that she had spent the last several hours sitting to the once most feared man in the world on the helicopter was unbelievable. As all of the things that she had been through and learned over the last twenty-four hours sank in, she started to feel very tired. Her shoulders slumped and she sighed deeply.

Angel cocked an eyebrow at the young woman before her. "Are you all right?"

Rayna sighed again. "I'm just really tired, that's all."

"You want to go get a room?" Angel asked, already standing up from the table.

"Sure." Rayna got up, taking one more bite of her lunch before going. D followed behind his temporary master, also looking forward to the prospect of some rest.

***

Tifa had collapsed onto her bed right after her shower, and had remained asleep for untold hours. Thanks to the medication that the doctor had given Tifa, her rest was extremely deep and without dreams. When she finally awoke, Tifa sat up and looked at the clock sitting on the dresser. The blue numbers shone out 10:45. Now whether it was morning or night, the same day or the next she did not know.

Tifa slid out of the bed and stretched, before going over to the dresser and getting something on. Deciding that she was extraordinarily hungry, she walked from her room to the cafeteria and got a plain ham sandwich. The place was fairly deserted at the time, and Tifa finally realized that it was the morning of the following day. She ate the rather dry sandwich quickly, wanting to get to Vincent's bedside as soon as possible.

Feeling better for having eaten, Tifa got up and strode from the room. The corridors of the subterranean base were cooler than normal and she wrapped her arms around herself as she went.

Finally she reached the doors of the infirmary and went in. The spot in the corner where Vincent's bed had been was vacated, and Tifa at once filled with fear and flew to the door of Dr. Arlin's office.

"Where is he?" Tifa asked, nearing panic.

She smiled, knowing what was worrying her friend. "He's fine, Tifa. I just had one of the nurses take him to your quarters. I was hoping that being in more comfortable surroundings might bring out some response from him."

Tifa ran out without so much as a goodbye and made her way quickly to their room. When she reached is, she found the door open. The male nurse was sitting on the couch watching television with Vincent sitting in a wheelchair, wrapped in a bathrobe. His paralyzed arms and legs were strapped down to keep him from falling. He was staring with the same blank expression in the general direction of the television, but it was obvious that he wasn't really paying any attention to it. 

Once the nurse noticed Tifa, he got up. "If you feel up to watching him, I'll go. I just took him to the bathroom, so he should be fine until I come back in a few hours."

Tifa nodded silently as the nurse walked past her and out. She was too focused on the pathetic sight before her to offer any real response. The nurse's words had struck something within her, and she knew that Vincent would be dying of embarrassment at the indignities he was having to suffer through.

After a few moments, she steeled herself and went to kneel beside Vincent. If he was noticing that she was there, he wasn't showing it. She reached up and pushed a few tendrils of hair away from his face. His complexion was ghastly, and there was a vacancy within his eyes not unlike what she had witnessed in Cloud's dead expression.

She forced a smile for his sake, although he wasn't even looking at her to see it. "Vincent, are you in there?"

He just blinked, continuing to gaze off into space.

Tifa sighed deeply, disappointed that he had yet to improve. "I talked with Dr. Arlin last night. She said you are suffering from something called Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. It's supposed to happen to some soldiers after seeing the horrors of war, but I guess what you went through is just as bad, heck, probably worse."

Again, there was no response.

Tifa's eyes burned with tears, and she rested her head against his shoulder. "She says that most people eventually come out of it, but sometimes they… remain like this… forever." Her voice was choked off by the tightness of her throat. Several minutes later, she managed to utter, "I want you to come back, Vincent. I love you."


	101. Call

Guilt's Cost: Part CI

Call

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The surgery to repair the Turk's shattered hip had come and gone, and he was recovering well. Rayna was overjoyed when he was released from the infirmary and brought to the room they would now share. Porter was still in a large amount of pain and walking was almost impossible, even with the crutches that had been given to him but he tried none the less. Rayna would be right at his side every day when the nurse would come to check on him and give him physical therapy. Despite the agony he was in, knowing that Rayna was now safe and with him he was happier than he had ever been. Even when the doctor gave him the news that despite how well the surgery had gone he would never be completely normal again, he was fine. Having to walk with a limp for the rest of his life was by far better than living with a normal body without Rayna. If this was the price he had to pay, then he would gladly go through it all again.

Days passed, and Vincent didn't get any better. Tifa remained at his side at all times, except for when the male nurse would come to take Vincent to the bathroom. She stayed away at those times, knowing that Vincent wouldn't be able to bear the indignity, conscious of it or not. The nurse would also come by to bring Tifa her meals, as Tseng ordered him to do knowing that she wouldn't dare leave to go eat on her own. They eventually had to set up an intravenous line to keep Vincent nourished as he was unable to eat. It was a brutal looking thing, hooked into the vein in the right side of his neck. After three days of having the fluids delivered into him this way the line started to fail, and Tifa sat and watched as the doctor came to the room and placed a new catheter into the jugular vein on the other side of his neck.

Once that was done, Dr. Arlin looked over at Tifa. "I just want to warn you, in the state he's in physically, this is the last place we can get a line into him. If he still refuses to eat in a few more days, we're going to have to place a feeding tube into him."

The thought of yet more being done to her beloved Vincent crushed in on her and the faint amount of color that was still in her cheeks faded. "There isn't any other way?"

"No, Tifa." The doctor sighed and looked down upon her patient. "We are running out of options. I may not be able to help him mentally, but I will not let him starve to death."

Had there been any more tears within her to shed at that point, she would have. The spiral of helplessness she was caught in concerning Vincent was taking a heavy toll upon her. She herself had lost several pounds at this point from not eating or sleeping right, and it would only be a matter of time before she became ill herself.

Dr. Arlin looked over at Tifa and knew what was happening. It wouldn't do Vincent any good to continue to watch her wearing herself out tending to him, whether he was aware of it or not. She needed to talk to Tseng about getting something done for Tifa and she left the room.

Angel, Reno, and Jaras all came by several times a day to try and comfort Tifa, all feeling her pain. It was probably hardest on Jaras as his love for her made the pity he felt even more bitter. He longed to be able to pull her from the room and take her anywhere other than here. He too was upset at his father's state, but he was by far more emotionally invested in the woman and it was hurting him to watch the spectacle day in and day out.

Tseng had been told by Dr. Arlin about Tifa's state. He knew the doctor was right, but he didn't know how to go about prying Tifa away from his brother. Tseng wracked his brain trying to think of how he could get her to take a break, but was snapped out of his attempt when the cell phone in his pocket began to ring.

"Tseng here." He said, annoyed that anyone would be calling him this late in the evening. He had just shut himself into his room for the night and was getting ready to change for bed.

"Hey…" A low yet gruff voice crackled over the line. "It's Cid."

Tseng sat on the edge of his bed, the exhaustion in his voice all too clear. "Mr. Highwind, how can I help you?"

"Yeah, I know it's late, but you gave me this number and said if anything was wrong I could call." Cid said quietly, obviously very disturbed.

"Certainly, what is the problem?" Tseng asked, knowing that it would take an act of God to get Cid to ask for help with anything.

"Is Tifa around?" He sighed, responding to Tseng's question with one of his own.

"She's in her room." Tseng was aware that Tifa had told him about the mission and Vincent's state via the phone a few days before. "Why?"

"Look, Shera's not been doing to well and I can't seem to do anything right for her. I was wondering if Tifa had any ideas what I should do. That baby's gonna come any day now, but…" Cid took a deep breath, ashamed at what he was about to say, "I can't stand to watch her be so miserable until then. This pregnancy is being really hard on her, and since Tifa's a girl, I thought she'd have some insight for me."

Tseng was speechless for a moment. This was so out of character for the pilot that he almost grew afraid, but then just decided to chalk it up to the fact that Cid was under an extreme amount of stress at the moment. Suddenly, he realized he was staring the answer to his dilemma in the face. "How would you like me to have her come and see you?"

"Aw hell, that would be really fucking great." Cid perked up, immediately becoming more himself. "But how's Vincent? Will she leave him?"

"He's the same, but she needs a break from it. She's making herself sick by staying here." Tseng sighed deeply. "Quite frankly, I'm starting to think that my brother will ever be well again."

There was a brief pause as Cid digested what he had heard. "That's a God damned shame, and I'm sorry to hear it. But if Tifa would come by that would be great. I know Shera really likes her. Then they could deal with the fucking girl stuff on their own."

Tseng smiled, amused at Cid's ways. "Certainly, I'll have one of my men bring her. If they leave now she should be there by morning."

"Thanks, Tseng." Cid said simply before hanging up.

Tseng continued to smile at having the answer to Tifa's problem now. He rose from the bed and opened the door to his room, making his way to Tifa's quarters.


	102. Temptations

Guilt's Cost: Part CII

Temptations

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tseng knocked on Tifa's door. Not expecting anyone at this hour she was startled at the sound and jumped. She rose up from the couch and answered. "Hi Tseng."

"Can I come in?" He asked, already stepping passed her.

"Sure." Tifa said, relocking the door and motioning for him to sit.

Tseng landed heavily and looked over briefly to see his still unresponsive brother laid out upon the bed for the night. He turned to face Tifa after feeling her sit beside him. "I got a call from Cid."

"Oh?" She brightened at the mention of the pilot's name. "What's he up to?"

Tseng shrugged. "Well, he was really calling for you. He wanted to know how you were doing, and he extends his sympathy for Vincent's continued troubles."

Tifa dropped her gaze to the floor. She didn't want Cid to worry about her; he had enough on his plate expecting a baby. "That was very sweet of him."

Tseng glanced nervously over at Vincent. "Tifa, Cid was sounding a little stressed. I think he's really hoping that you might come and help him out. Apparently, Shera's having a hard time with the end of her pregnancy and he's at a loss for what to do."

Tifa hung her head. "Oh, that's terrible. I'd love to go see him, God knows I owe it to him, but I don't think that I could leave Vincent right now."

Tseng shook his head slightly. "Actually, I was thinking you should go." He touched her shoulder, causing her to look into his eyes. "You're killing yourself over Vincent, Tifa. You need a break from it before you fall ill from exertion. We can take care of him for a while. I'll have one of the nurses stay here so he doesn't have to go into the infirmary. Cid wouldn't ask for help unless it was really serious; we both know that. If anything changes with Vincent, I'll let you know right away."

Tifa's eyes started to burn. "But Tseng…"

He put his arm around her. "Tifa, please! I know you don't want to leave, but you need to. It's killing me to watch you agonize like this."

She put her arms around him in return and placed her cheek against his. "Tseng… you've been so kind to me…"

"I know you love my brother, and he loves you." He sighed, enjoying her closeness despite his sexuality. "And I love you, too."

The way these last words came from him unexpectedly touched something within her. Again, she found herself seeing the similarity between him and Vincent. She sat back just a little and stared into his eyes. "Tseng…"

He placed a finger across her lips, not wanting her to say anything more. Tseng had never kissed a woman, and he found himself wondering what it would be like.

Tifa felt the tension mounting in the air and knew she had to stop this from happening. Tseng wasn't Vincent, and she couldn't allow herself to pretend he was. She knew that she had to take his order and leave before her stress made her do something she'd come to regret. It was all too obvious what was on his mind as well, and she knew she couldn't stay any longer.

As he slowly started to lean toward her, he struggled within himself to stop knowing that it was wrong for so many reasons. 

Their lips did meet, but it was brief and sweet; no more than the innocent kiss of two friends, not lovers. That was something they both knew they could never be.

They fell into each other's embrace for a few moments before Tifa rose from the couch and made her way to Vincent's side. As she looked down at her sleeping husband, she sighed. "I'll go."

Tseng nodded and also got up. He went to her and placed his right hand upon her shoulder. "It's for the best. I'll take good care of him."

She smiled and looked back at him. "I know you will."

Tseng reciprocated her grin and let his hand fall away. "Okay, I'll have Brad get the chopper ready. Get packed."

She stood motionless as he kissed her cheek gently before walking toward the door. Tifa watched Tseng slip out, and wondered to herself what had really transpired between them. Nothing about it made her feel guilty like her encounter with Jaras. She knew that it had been a moment brought out of stress and pain. _For God's sake, _she thought, _Tseng's gay…what was I thinking?_

She had merely been searching for Vincent in him, and he had been trying to find normalcy for himself. Even at his age, Tseng had yet to really ever come to grips with how he was.

On the other side of the door, hidden from Tifa's view, Tseng stopped and brought his hands up to his face. For some reason, the pain of both Rufus and Zale's deaths chose that minute to crush in on him. As tears started to mark his cheeks Tseng started to run for his room. Upon reaching his door, he locked himself inside and threw himself onto the bed. He needed to regain his composure before talking to the helicopter pilot. He knew Brad wouldn't look well upon his leader crying.

***

Tifa knelt beside Vincent and placed a hand upon his cheek. "I guess you heard all that. I'm gonna go and help Cid out with Shera for a few days. I can't imagine him trying to take care of anyone on his own! Poor Cid, he's just so socially inept, heh. But I won't stay gone long, okay?"

She got up and bent over to kiss him. Her lips met his, and even with Vincent apparently asleep there was something that passed between them that never could have happed with her and Tseng. Her heart belonged to Vincent and Vincent alone. She might dare to think about Tseng or Jaras, but her mind would always go back to Vincent. Tifa loved him completely.

Several minutes later, Tifa had her bag packed and she opened the door looking over her shoulder back at Vincent one last time. "I love you. If you get better I'll come back faster, okay?" With that, she shut the door.

Tifa hurried up to the airfield, knowing that if she didn't get on the helicopter quickly she wouldn't be able to leave at all. The cool air of the evening gave her a hint that fall was soon to come. The sound of the helicopter warming up bit through the chilled air and met her ears rudely. She started toward the source of the sound, spotting Brad coming toward her.

The older man took her bag from her. "So, off to Rocket, huh?"

She smiled, the prospect of seeing Cid again starting to sink in. "Yes, I guess Cid needs some moral support."

"Cid's a helluva guy." Brad smiled.

"You know him?" Tifa asked, a little surprised.

"Well of course I do." He scoffed, almost mimicking Cid with his tone. "We were in the service together until Shin Ra decided to get him involved in their space program. Those were some good times, I'll tell you what."

It made sense that Cid and Brad were friends. There were too many similarities between them to be coincidence.

Tifa laughed to herself. "Oh."

***

Alone in the room, the first voluntary motion came to Vincent. His eyes opened and he silently whispered something no one heard. "Tifa… come back… I love you."


	103. Fatherhood

Guilt's Cost: Part CIII

Fatherhood

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The flight to Rocket took all of the night, and Tifa drifted off to sleep only waking up when the constant drone of the helicopter began to wane. She opened her eyes to find the faint glow of the dawn on the horizon. Brad had brought them down in the field just to the west of Cid's house, where the Shin Ra rocket had once stood.

Brad smiled over at her. "Go on, give the old bastard Hell for me."

As Tifa shrugged off the last of her tiredness, she looked over at him. "Don't you want to come say hi for a minute?"

"Naw," he smiled, "Tseng wants me to get back as soon as possible. I'll see him when I come back to pick you up."

"Oh, okay." Tifa sighed, getting up. She grabbed her bag and got out of the chopper. After retreating to a safe distance Tifa turned back to wave as Brad powered up the helicopter and rose back into the sky.

The early morning air was sharp and she regretted not having dressed more warmly. It was probably only five in the morning or so, and she knew that Cid wouldn't be up for another hour. Nonetheless, she started to walk to his house, not knowing where else to go.

As she neared, she made out a figure standing outside the front door, and when she was closer she could see that it was Cid himself.

He stood in the cold air in nothing more than a tank top and jeans. Although Tifa at first thought that he was smoking he wasn't. The would-be smoke was nothing more that the vapor from his breath.

Growing closed, Tifa went faster. Something must be wrong for Cid to be up this early. Very few things could make Cid alter his habits.

He noticed her approach and turned to face her. His expression wasn't one of happiness or recognition. Something was weighing too heavily on him for that. Cid looked much older than his thirty-nine years at the moment. "Tifa."

She closed the gap between them and dropped her bag to the ground. Despite the way he had greeted her, Tifa was still very excited to see him and she threw her arms around him.

Then something very strange happened; something Tifa never would have expected. Instead of putting his arms around her briefly and clapping her on the back like he always did, Cid seemed to grab onto her for dear life. He buried his face into the nape of her neck and she felt his breaths grow jagged and his shoulders start to heave.

This wasn't Cid, and Tifa grew terrified to realize he was crying. Cid Highwind was actually _crying._ "Oh God, Cid, what's wrong?"

He was unable to respond in the least, just continuing to sob as he held her close.

Not knowing what else to do, Tifa held him tightly, comforting him as best she could. The familiarity of his embrace and scent was the only thing good she was taking from this, but even the way he smelled was different. The constant and overpowering smell of cigarette smoke was strangely absent. Realizing this, Tifa was even more worried. "Cid?"

He finally managed to capture some measure of composure, but not much. "Tifa… I'm so glad you're here…"

"What's wrong?" She asked, scared to know what the answer was.

"Shera… she's sick." Cid whispered, still clinging to her.

"Oh God, what's wrong?" Tifa dreaded what was happening. "Did she lose the baby?"

After another brief bout of tears, Cid answered. "The baby… they don't know… The doctor is in there with her right now. They won't let me in."

It wasn't until then that Tifa noticed the emergency vehicles parked near the back entrance to the house. There was no real hospital in Rocket, and the doctor and paramedics had to do all their work within the confines of the house.

"What happened?" Tifa asked, still searching for answers.

"She got up a few hours ago… Shera hasn't been feeling well for several days, but I didn't know it was this serious. I was still in bed and I heard a crash… She had collapsed in the kitchen. There was blood running out of her…" He nuzzled back down against her neck, unable to go on.

Tifa now was down right mortified. For Cid to be this upset was unheard of. Somehow, Cid must already know what the ultimate outcome of this situation was going to be. Cid must truly be fearing that Shera wasn't going to make it.

It was at that moment that the door to the house opened and the female paramedic that had been assisting the doctor came out. "Mr. Highwind, the doctor needs to speak to you."

Cid immediately grabbed Tifa's hand and pulled her along with him as he followed the paramedic into the house.

The doctor was sitting at the kitchen table with a blanketed bundle in his arms. "Mr. Highwind, you need to sit down."

Whether it was the doctor's order or the simple fact that he lost all of his remaining strength was unclear but he fell back into a chair. Tifa took up the seat next to him. The doctor's deadpan expression along with the fact that all the color was gone from Cid's skin made Tifa feel sick.

Cid wanted desperately to ask about Shera, but the words refused to come out.

The doctor sighed deeply. "Mr. Highwind, I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."

There didn't appear to be any reaction from Cid at all as he heard this. He just sat there staring at the doctor.

Tifa gasped in disbelief and brought her hands up to her mouth. She may have not spent a large amount of time with Shera, but she had grown very attached to her nonetheless.

"But the baby is fine." The doctor said as he got up and extended the bundled newborn to its father. "A boy."

Cid's hands trembled horribly as he reached up to take his son. Slowly he brought the infant down and held him against his chest. He pulled the blanket back a bit to see the child's face. A smile crossed Cid's lips upon seeing his boy for the first time, but it immediately fell as the terrible price that had been paid crushed in on him.

"I'm sorry, Cid." The doctor said taking another step forward and placing a hand on his shoulder.

Cid drew in a sharp breath and tore his tear filled eyes away from the baby. "I want to see her."

The doctor furrowed his brow. "I don't know if you want to do that. Maybe you should let us clean up a little first."

Cid got up and handed his son to Tifa, then turning back to the doctor. "No, I want to see her now."

The doctor's continued protests fell upon deaf ears as Cid walked off purposefully to the bedroom where Shera had been worked on.

He held his breath and opened the door, afraid to look up at first. He took a step in before finally managing to bring his gaze up from the floor. The once white sheets of his bed were now stained with broad streaks of crimson. They had pulled a sheet up over Shera, and her ghastly form lay motionless. There was another red stain across the portion of the sheet that covered her abdomen.

Tears ran freely down Cid's weathered face and he didn't try in the least to hide them. Cid got to the edge of the bed and sat down next to Shera. After steeling himself, he reached out and pulled at the sheet covering her. Her once rosy cheeks were now as white as the pillow she rested upon, and her lips had an unnatural blue tint to them. Her eyes were only half closed, but no longer seeing.

A loud sob escaped Cid as he broke down. Not knowing what else to do, he bent down putting his arms around her. The coldness of her skin against him stripped him of any doubt over the situation. How he was going to go on without her he did not know. Shera was the only woman he had ever loved in his nearly forty years. To suffer his first heartbreak this way assured that he wouldn't love again for a long time, if ever.

A sudden wave of nausea over came him and he immediately threw himself off the bed and onto the floor on all fours. Mercifully there wasn't anything in his stomach and it passed quickly. As it subsided he got back to his knees and turned to Shera again. In his mad dash from the bed he had managed to pull the sheet completely off of her, exposing the rest of her body. Now the source of the stain that had marked the sheet over her abdomen was made clear.

In an emergency attempt to save the baby after Shera's death, the doctor had given her a hasty caesarian section. The incision had yet to be closed, and the sight of his dead wife in this state was more than he could take. He collapsed onto the floor and cried with abandon. Had it not been for the knowledge that he now had a son to raise, Cid may have chosen to give up completely at that moment.

Upon hearing his cries, Tifa got up from where she was sitting in the kitchen and went to his side with the baby still in her arms. When she found him in a heap upon the floor, Tifa's heart broke. It was an unbearable sight to witness the great and gutsy pilot in such a state of despair. She knelt next to him with tears in her eyes and stroked his back with one hand as the infant was held in her other arm. "Cid, I'm so sorry."

He didn't respond right away, and when he did it was only to reach around his side and grab a hold of the hand she had been touching him with. As he continued to cry, he held onto her like she was his last anchor to sanity. Despite all his crude talk and nonchalant attitude towards her, Shera had been his life, and now without her he was lost.

It was nearly half an hour before Cid managed to at least get up to his knees, and only then did he do it because his son was beginning to cry. He looked at the infant as Tifa held it, suddenly feeling an overwhelming need to take the child into his own arms.

Tifa readily handed the baby over, knowing that it was now the most important thing in Cid's life. She smiled at the new father, despite the tragic circumstances. "Do you have a name for him?"

Cid managed the feeblest smile that Tifa had ever seen. "We were… are going to name him Cid Augustus Highwind the Third."

Tifa smiled back at him, trying her best to ignore the dead woman lying upon the bed. "That's a long name for such a little guy."

"Heh, yeah." Cid said, admiring his son through his tear blurred eyes. "I was thinking I could just call him Little Cid for short."

Tifa gave a slight laugh. Talking about the infant was bringing Cid out of his despairing state. "That's cute."

Cid looked up at Tifa as the baby continued to cry. "What do you think he wants?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, maybe he's hungry."

"Oh." He looked thoughtful. "Some company sent us some formula stuff free in the mail. Maybe he'd like that."

"Okay, let's go try." Tifa said, getting up, and extending a hand to Cid.

He rose up shakily with her help, but continued to hold his child tightly. They made their way back out to the kitchen where the doctor was still waiting.

As Cid went over to the cupboard to pull out the formula and a bottle, the doctor approached Tifa. "If it's all right, we'd like to go take her body to the morgue now."

Tifa nodded slightly and responded in a hush. "Yes, I think he's done now."

"Good." The doctor looked over to where Cid was struggling to get the top unscrewed from the empty bottle while still having the baby in his arms. "Will you be able to see that he gets organized?"

"Sure." Tifa sighed. "I was going to stay for a few days anyway. I've helped lots of friends with babies, and I think I can get him together here."

"Okay." The doctor turned and headed off with the paramedics to clean up the room and remove Shera's body from the house.


	104. Consciousness

Guilt's Cost: Part CIV

Consciousness

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The nurse was sent into Vincent and Tifa's room shortly after she had left for Rocket. Vincent, who had displayed his first sign of consciousness after Tifa's departure was still awake staring up at the ceiling. 

The nurse, who Tifa had discovered over the last few days was named Kyle, walked over to where Vincent was lying and looked down at him. "I guess I should take you to the bathroom one more time before turning in."

Kyle jumped with a start when Vincent turned his eyes up to him and scowled. "I'm fine. Leave me alone."

"You're wake!" Kyle said, taking a step back. "This is great… I'll go get Tseng right away."

"No." Vincent picked his head up from the pillow, distraught to discover that he still had no control over his limbs. "Just leave me alone for the night. Bring him by in the morning."

"But he will want to know that you've come back." The nurse stated, remembering that Tseng had given him an order to let him know if anything changed with Vincent.

"Look, just in case I don't stay this way I don't want to get them all excited over nothing. I'm very much aware of everything that has taken place around me since we got back to the base, and I know what he said to you." Vincent let his head fall back to the pillow. "But let's just see if I can keep this up before we get anyone else involved."

The nurse nodded slightly, still in disbelief that Vincent was talking to him. "Okay."

Pleased to see that the nurse was actually going to obey him, Vincent produced a weak smile. "Thank you. You may go now."

"But Tseng ordered me to stay here." Kyle stated matter of factly.

"And I am ordering you to leave." Vincent replied, little patience in his voice.

The nurse stood there looking at his unwilling patient for a few moments. If Tseng caught sight of him leaving the room there would be trouble. A reprimand from the boss was the last thing he wanted. As far as Kyle was concerned, he was already pushing his luck by not updating Tseng on Vincent's condition. "No, I can't do that."

Vincent clenched his teeth in annoyance. Able to move or not, he didn't want a babysitter. As he moved his head to look at the nurse again, the pain of the intravenous line in his neck stopped him. He decided to make the nurse a deal. "Get this fucking thing out of my neck and you can sleep on the couch."

"Dr. Arlin would get really pissed if I took that out and you went back into your state." The nurse folded his arms across his chest. "If you do that, you're getting a feeding tube placed in you, you know."

"So I heard." Vincent again let his lead fall back to the pillow. "I don't care, get this thing out of my neck now."

Kyle shrugged to himself, resigning himself to being ordered around by his charge. He sat on the edge of the bed next to Vincent and started to peel away the tape holding the line against Vincent's neck.

Vincent's eyes closed, as the pain of the tape being pulled from his skin burned at him. Doing his best to remain calm as the nurse continued to mess with the I.V. site, Vincent pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and bit. This action turned out to be a little more uncomfortable that he had been expecting as his lip was still cut from his fall in the Shin Ra lab several days before. The lack of his immediate healing abilities was going to take some getting used to.

After a few moments, the nurse removed the catheter from Vincent's neck and pressed with a finger against the insertion site in an attempt to curb any bleeding and to prevent bruising. "There, just let me hold this off for a few minutes and then you're all set."

Once the nurse moved away to throw the remains of the catheter in the garbage, Vincent opened his eyes again. He suddenly realized that he shouldn't be pushing his luck with the person who was taking care of him at the moment. "Thank you."

After dropping his handful into the trash, Kyle turned around and smiled. "You're welcome. I'm just relieved to know that you're getting better. I know that Tifa and Tseng will be even happier."

Vincent produced a small smile and then glanced over at the clock next to the bed. "It's late."

Kyle, already exhausted from a full day's work in the infirmary couldn't agree more. "So I get to sleep on the couch, huh?"

"Yes." Vincent said flatly, knowing that Tifa would be the only one he would ever share his bed with, even when it just came to sleep as in sleep.

"Okay, but in the morning if you're still doing well, I'm getting Tseng." He said as he flipped off the light switch and then went over to the couch and sat heavily.

"So be it." Vincent said, closing his eyes, feeling a deep tiredness wash over him. "And I want so clothes, too."

"That shouldn't be a problem." Kyle said while attempting to get comfortable on the narrow couch.


	105. Feeding

Guilt's Cost: Part CV

Feeding

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa walked over to where Cid was still struggling to open the bottle to make the formula. "Can I help?"

He looked at her with frustrated eyes and sighed. "You want to hold him while I get this god damned bottle ready?"

"Sure." Tifa gave him a smile as she took the baby into her arms. She watched as Cid finally got the bottle opened. He picked up the can of formula and read the side for a moment. "How much is this little bugger gonna need?"

"This small, probably just an ounce or two." Tifa said, remembering the habits of her other friend's infants.

"Okay." Cid read some more before pulling the top off the canister and using the scoop within to place the needed amount into the bottle. He then went to the tap and put the appropriate level of water within. Once done, he placed the top back onto the bottle and shook it. He had used hot water and wondered if the temperature was right. Cid held the bottle out for Tifa's inspection. "How's that?"

She reached out a hand and felt the bottle, finding it to be the appropriate warmth. "Seems perfect."

Cid smiled at his success and went over and placed the bottle on the table before taking his son from Tifa. He sat down with the baby and picked up the bottle. "Okay, here goes."

Tifa went and sat next to him watching as he picked the bottle up and placed the tip against the baby's lips. Fortunately, the infant was ready and quickly latched on. Cid couldn't help but smile as he watched his son eat for the first time.

"He seems to like it." Tifa said, resting her elbows on the tabletop.

Mercifully, Cid was so absorbed in his son at the moment that he didn't notice as the paramedics finally took Shera's body from the house. After a while the tears returned to Cid's eyes, although he continued to hold the bottle steady for the baby.

Upon seeing the pain return to Cid's face, Tifa felt her own come up. "Cid?"

He sighed, not taking his gaze off his son. "It's just that I always thought Shera would be doing this, you know."

"Oh," Tifa quickly wiped her tears away, as she knew she needed to be strong for him. "I'm really sorry, Cid."

He shrugged slightly, still watching the baby drink. "I don't know what I'm going to do…"

She was speechless for a moment. Being faced with Cid of all people in such a situation made her ability to respond difficult. "If anyone can get through this Cid, it's you. You're the strongest person I've ever known."

Cid tried to blink away the tears but it just caused them to fall down his cheeks. "I don't feel like it right now. I never thought I'd be in this fucking situation in a million years."

"No one expects this." Tifa sighed; finding it strange that Cid was seeking solace in her. This role reversal was not welcome, as seeing Cid in pain like this was breaking her heart. "You don't have to do this alone. Never forget that I'm here for you and I will do anything to help you."

He smiled up at her for a moment through his tears as he set the emptied bottle upon the table. "I'm so glad you're here right now. If you weren't I really don't know how I would be doing. Thanks."

Tifa didn't really know how to respond to that. Having Cid so openly depending on her for support was something very alien to her. It would take some doing to get used to it. "Hey, are you going to burp that baby or what?"

Cid looked down at the infant in his arms and raised his eyebrows. "Oh, yeah."

Tifa grinned despite herself as Cid awkwardly hoisted the newborn upon to his shoulder and began to tap it lightly on the back. He was trying so hard, but it was still obvious to Tifa's eye that he didn't know what he was doing. "Uh, Cid? You'll need to pat him a little harder than that."

He narrowed his eyes and looked over at Tifa, unable to help himself from growing a bit defensive. "You want to do this?"

She shook her head, "No, I'm just saying, if you do it a little harder it will work better. I think that I've just had more experience at this than you. If I was learning to fly I would ask you for help."

"Oh," he suddenly felt somewhat bad at having bristled so quickly when all Tifa was trying to do was help. Having to learn from anyone had always been hard, but he was going to have to bow to Tifa's superior knowledge on this subject. The well being of his son would depend on it. He let his hand meet the baby's back with more force, and it wasn't long before the baby did what it needed to do. Cid brought the child back down to his chest and made a face of complete disgust as he realized that the infant had done just a little more than burp. "Aw shit, he puked on me."

Tifa got up and retrieved a kitchen towel from the sink. She returned to Cid's side and blotted the mess up from his shoulder. "It's okay, Cid. He just had to spit up; they always do at this stage. Just put a towel over your shoulder next time, okay?"

"Oh Hell!" Cid got to his feet.

"What?" Tifa stepped back, surprised.

He turned to face her, and Tifa could see the source of his problem. The baby had done what babies do when fed, and there was a large wet spot soaking through the blanket and Cid's shirt. "He peed on me."

"Come on, let's go get a diaper on him and get you cleaned up." Tifa said, already making her way toward the nursery that Shera had set up several months before.

Tifa searched the room and found an unopened package of newborn diapers underneath the changing table. She pulled one out and waved Cid over. "Lay him down here and we'll get him cleaned up."

He huffed and did as ordered, laying the baby, blanket and all onto the table before Tifa. "There you go."

Tifa put her hands on her hips and cocked her head. "Cid, if you think I'm doing this for you, you're wrong. You need to learn."

"I _need_ to go get a clean shirt." He said, disregarding her statement and walking from the room.

She sighed deeply and turned her attention to the squirming baby before her. "Same old Cid. I feel sorry for you, little guy. He's not going to be an easy man to have as a father."

"I heard that!" Cid called out from a distance down the hall. "I'm gonna be the best mother fucking dad you ever saw."

Tifa couldn't help but laugh. "First thing we need to do is clean up your father's language, Little Cid."


	106. Update

Guilt's Cost: Part CVI

Update

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent awoke a little after seven in the morning. When his eyes opened, he found himself staring up at the nurse who was looming over him. 

Kyle smiled. "So, decided to come back for a second round, huh?"

Vincent turned his head to the side for a moment to look at the clock before responding. "It's morning?"

"Yes." The nurse said. "You slept like the dead. I was starting to think that you weren't going to wake up."

Vincent closed his eyes again for a second, trying to ward off the remainder of his drowsiness. "Well, I'm awake."

"You want me to go get Tseng now?" Kyle asked.

Casting his gaze to the side, Vincent felt himself blush. His inability to move his body was going to cause him to die of embarrassment if something didn't change soon. "I have to go to the bathroom first."

"Sure." Kyle said, reaching down with his incredibly strong arms and scooping Vincent up.

Once that was taken care of, Kyle placed Vincent into his wheelchair and strapped him in. "Can I go get Tseng now?"

Vincent sighed, knowing that the nurse was growing impatient. "Okay."

"Good." Kyle at once turned at walked from the room, leaving Vincent alone with his thoughts for a moment. 

He hoped that Tifa had gotten to Rocket all right, but was stung by the fact that she was gone. _She'll be back soon though, and she did need a break from all of this. I just wish I had been able to tell her goodbye._

The door to his room burst open and he looked up to see Tseng run right over to his side and kneel down before him. "Hey Tseng."

Tseng leaned forward and threw his arms around his brother. Tears of relief at once were let from his eyes. "Tsuvati, I thought you were never going to get better!"

Vincent closed his eyes for a second, reveling in the familiarity of his brother's embrace. "I'm fine now, Tseng."

Tseng eventually managed to pull himself back a bit and he inspected Vincent. "When did this happen?"

"Last night, right after Tifa left." He replied simply.

"Why was I not informed of this until now?" Tseng spat, turning to look at Kyle who just shrugged in response.

"Don't be angry with him, it was my order that kept him from telling you." Vincent said. "I wanted to make certain that I would still be all right come morning."

Tseng turned back to face his brother. "What finally changed that caused you to do this?"

Vincent hung his head for a moment, not wishing to admit what he suspected to be the reason for his recovery. "When I realized that Tifa really was leaving last night, I started to fight to come back more desperately than before. The thought of remaining helpless without her to watch over me was too much. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to speak until after she had left the room."

Tseng reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "I will call her right now. She will want to come back to be with you at once."

Vincent just sat and watched in silence as Tseng dialed Cid's phone number, which he had at some point committed to memory. Once the phone was ringing, Tseng held it out to his brother's ear.

Cid and Tifa were sitting in the kitchen again, having put the recently fed baby down for a nap. She had cooked him breakfast and sat staring at him as he barely touched the food. Tifa knew that Cid was by far too upset to really want to eat, but he needed to in order to keep up his strength. Taking care of a newborn was a tough enough job as it was and without a mate to help him through it, Cid would need every bit of energy he could muster.

When the phone rang it caused both of them jump. Tifa smiled at Cid and got up motioning to him to stay put while she answered it. She picked up the phone on the fourth ring. "Hello?"

"Tifa?" Vincent whispered, overwhelmed at the mere sound of her voice.

Tifa at once fell to her knees on the kitchen floor, beginning to shake uncontrollably. Cid watched her collapse and immediately filled with worry. He flew from his seat and put his arms around her. "Tifa? Are you okay?"

She turned and looked at Cid. "It's… it's Vincent." Tifa caught her breath and then placed the receiver back to her ear. "Vincent?"

"Yeah." He replied, able to feel her disbelief through her voice. "It's me."

"Oh my God." Her voice trembled. "When..?"

"Right after you left." Vincent smiled, pleased to know that she was so overcome with emotion. "I'm fine now, except for the not being able to move bit."

Tears ran freely down Tifa's cheeks as Cid continued to hold her. "I was so scared…"

"I'm sorry." Vincent felt terrible for having made her worry. "How is everything there?"

Tifa sighed and turned slightly within Cid's embrace so she could look him in the eye. "Not good."

"Why? What happened?" He asked.

"Oh Vincent!" Tifa felt her heart break again as she related the sad news. "Shera passed away this morning."

Vincent was speechless for a moment. "And the baby?"

"The baby is fine." She whispered, watching as Cid started to move away from her, not wishing for Tifa to see him begin to cry again. "It's a little boy."

"God, tell Cid I'm really sorry." Vincent couldn't fathom what Cid was going to do as a single father. "Is he doing all right?"

"He's trying to be strong but it's awful." She had to wipe her own eyes with the back of her hand. "I've never seen him like this before and I can't stand it. Poor Cid…"

Vincent thought for a few seconds. "Is there anything we can do?"

Tifa slowly stood back up and looked over to see Cid again at the kitchen table. "No, I don't think so. But I need to stay here for a few days until I know he's going to be all right, even though I really want to come home and see you."

Vincent produced a faint smile. "Yes, he needs you right now. Of all people, I think you've always been Cid's favorite. I'm sure he appreciates you being there."

"Yeah, I can't imagine leaving him like this." Tifa sighed. "Maybe Tseng can have you sent out here."

"No, Tifa." Vincent said, losing his smile. "The last thing that you need right now while taking care of Cid and a baby is an invalid in a wheelchair. I would just be in the way and you know it."

Tifa knew that his words were true, no matter how much they hurt. "Okay. Call me everyday though, all right?"

"Certainly." Vincent's grin returned. "I will. You take care of Cid and that baby, okay?"

"You got it." Tifa giggled just a little. "He's just adorable, I can't wait for you to see him!"

Vincent's mind didn't miss a step. "Cid? I've seen him before, when did you get all hot for him?"

Tifa outright laughed despite the day she'd had. "No, stupid, the baby."

"Oh okay." His smile widened. "I'll call you tomorrow then."

"Okay, I'll be waiting." Tifa lowered her voice. "Vincent, I love you."

"I love you too, Tifa." Vincent said in return. "Goodbye."

"Bye." She replied.

Tseng, seeing that the conversation was over pulled the phone away from Vincent and turned it off before dropping it back into his pocket. He had gathered that something terrible had happened by the way the Vincent had reacted. "What's wrong?"

Vincent sighed. "Shera died but the baby is fine."

"Oh dear God!" Tseng said, covering his mouth with his hands. After the shock passed, he dropped his hands back to his lap and asked, "how is Cid handling it?"

"He's taking it hard I guess but with Tifa there he'll be all right. She can get him through it." Vincent said, proud of how she was able to help the pilot. She had always been the only one Cid had ever seemed to become emotionally involved in. "I told her I'd call back tomorrow."

Tseng nodded. "Well, are you ready to go try and eat something? You had us all very worried you know."

"Yeah, I know." Vincent looked down and inspected his body. "Do you think you can get me something to wear first?"

With Vincent's now asexual anatomy no one had really seemed to care about getting him clothed as it didn't appear that he needed to be. Tseng knew his brother to be a modest man even under the best of circumstances and gave in to his wish. "Okay, I'll go get something first."

"Thanks." Vincent smiled as he watched Tseng move toward the door. The fact that he wouldn't be seeing Tifa again right away tore at his heart but he knew full well that with things the way they were at the moment that Cid was by far more needy than he.


	107. Repairs

Guilt's Cost: Part CVII

Repairs

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tseng brought Vincent a simple black jumpsuit and stood back as the nurse got to the task of getting him dressed. Once that was done, Tseng wheeled Vincent down to the cafeteria wanting desperately to watch his brother finally eat. Sitting at a table were Reno, Angel, Rayna, D, and Porter. Tseng parked Vincent with them and went to go get the food.

Angel at once ran over to her father and threw her arms around him. "You're better!"

He smiled at her reaction. "Yes, I am."

She eventually went back to her seat, her cheeks marked with tears of happiness. "You had us all so worried!"

"I know, I'm sorry." Vincent said, feeling a little self-conscious that everyone was looking at him.

"Aw the fuck, I knew he'd be fine." Reno nudged Angel in the side. "Didn't I?"

She gave him very little regard. "So Tifa went to Rocket, I hear."

"Yes." Vincent nodded slightly, pained to relate the information. "Cid's wife didn't survive childbirth and Tifa is going to stay to help him with the baby for a while."

There was a low mumble of condolences around the table, even from Rayna and Porter who didn't know the people in question.

Vincent looked over to Porter, noticing that the former Turk was sitting at an awkward angle due to the pain his wound still caused him. "How are you?"

Porter shrugged. "Fine. They got me put back together pretty good."

Tseng returned with a tray of food and sat next to Vincent. As everyone looked on, Tseng began to feed his brother like an infant. Vincent put his dignity aside for the moment and ate knowing that he needed it.

Porter leaned forward on his elbows and narrowed his eyes. "You're still not able to move?"

"No." Vincent managed between mouthfuls.

"I bet Hojo programmed your control circuits to scramble if you were taken out of the building." Porter said, becoming quite intrigued. "That's what he's done before."

"That's more or less what Hojo said to me." Vincent replied.

"Yeah, Hojo pulls that a lot, thinking that no one will be able to use anything that he throws away or that escapes. I had the same problem with D at first, but I fixed that."

Tseng caught the implication of what the Turk had just said and rose to his feet. "What? You know how to repair Hojo's electronics?"

Porter raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, that's nothing. I've spent enough time messing around with Hojo's devices to know how they work."

Tseng was amazed. This man must be extraordinarily intelligent to be self-taught in Hojo's twisted version of electronics. "Can you fix my brother?"

The young man shrugged. "Sure, when do you want me to do it?"

"Now!" Tseng almost shouted, excited at the prospect of having his brother functional again.

Porter looked over at Rayna. "Shall we?"

She smiled and got up. "I think we own it to Mr. Valentine."

Tseng wheeled Vincent back to his room followed by Porter hobbling along on his crutches, Rayna, Angel, and Reno with the dog D taking up the rear. They all filed inside and Reno helped Tseng get Vincent back out of the wheelchair and laid out on the bed. D went over to the couch and immediately laid down upon it making himself quite at home.

As Vincent was placed onto the bed, his natural fear of being worked on arose but it was overcome by his need to escape the humiliation his paralysis was causing him. "Okay, I'm ready."

Porter looked at his intended project and realized that he was going to have to get Vincent out of the jumpsuit he had just so recently donned. Knowing that Vincent would probably appreciate some privacy for this, Porter turned to the others. "Uh, this is going to take a while. Angel, can you maybe take Rayna out for a while?"

Angel at once knew what was up and smiled in return. "Sure. I need to go topside shopping; maybe we can get her some things while we're at it. Come on Reno, you're coming too."

"Aw fuck can't I stay here?" Reno protested placing his hands on his hips.

"No, come on." Angel said grabbing his hand and heading toward the door.

Soon Tseng, Porter, and Vincent found themselves alone, with the exception of the dog that was by now snoring loudly on the couch. Tseng helped Porter get Vincent stripped. Vincent closed his eyes to shut out all that which was happening around him.

It wasn't long before Porter had a panel on the upper portion of Vincent's left thigh flipped open. Knowingly he plucked out some unknown component and eyed it. "Yeah, just like I figured. The bio-converters are fried. I'm gonna probably need four of these things."

"Quigley…" Tseng said.

"What?" Porter turned to look at him.

"Quigley." Tseng repeated. "He was working on converters while at Shin Ra. He'll know what to do."

"Oh." Porter smiled, not yet aware that Quigley was here. "That's right…"

Tseng quickly ran out of the room without needing to think of where he was headed. He fled down the hall as fast as he thought his heart could handle. When he reached the door he knocked excitedly.

The door cracked open and the blond peered out at him. "Yes?"

"We need you." Tseng ordered. "Porter is trying to fix Vincent and he needs help with the bio-converters."

His face quickly brightened and he let the door open the rest of the way. "Just a second. Let me get some things."

Tseng waited anxiously until Quigley reemerged with a small box in his hands. He had amassed several different components over his two years at Shin Ra and had possessed the foresight to take some of them with him upon fleeing Midgar. "Okay, let's go."

Tseng practically dragged the slow moving man back to Vincent's room. Upon returning they found that Porter had popped open several other panels on Vincent's extremities and had many ruined components lain out on the floor.

This was the first time that Porter and Quigley had seen each other since the latter had left Midgar with Reno. 

Porter smiled broadly at seeing his old friend. "Quigley! I knew you were too nice a guy to really be a researcher for Hojo."

Quigley gave his own lazy smile. "And I always thought you were too nice to be a Turk." 

Porter laughed but then noticed what Quigley was holding. "Please tell me you have converters in that box."

Quigley walked over to the bed and opened the box then dumping its contents onto the bed. "How's that?"

Porter's eyes went wide as he inspected all that the box had contained. There were dozens of converters of various sizes along with several control chips and other things. "Quig, you're fucking amazing…"

"Yup." Quigley immediately bent down and looked into the opened hatch on Vincent's right arm. He at once knew what to do and grabbed a converter and placed it into the slot vacated by the faulty one. Seeing that it powered up correctly, he began to tinker with other components inside Vincent's arm.

On the other side of Vincent's body Porter was doing much the same. They both worked intensely tuning out the world around them. Both Quigley and Porter were in their element and it showed in the way they worked in perfect unison.

Tseng watched quite impressed that the Turk was proceeding just as quickly and effectively as the researcher who had spent years in school learning this very subject. There was clearly much more to Porter than met the eye.

After a few hours Porter and Quigley both backed off knowing that they had done all they could. They stood with Tseng and looked on hopefully, waiting for Vincent's body to power up enough to move on its own.

Several minutes later, Vincent slowly raised up his right arm and smiled. "You did it."


	108. Weakness

Guilt's Cost: Part CVIII

Weakness

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The baby slept for about an hour during that first nap. Cid managed to choke down most of what Tifa had made for his breakfast and later moved into the family room to sit on the couch. While he collapsed in front of the television Tifa went to the bedroom to see what needed to be done now that Shera's body was gone.

The paramedics and doctor had been kind enough to take all the blood stained linens with them leaving the mattress stripped. There were still large swatches of crimson upon it, and Tifa knew that there was no way that those stains would ever come out. She mustered all of her strength and flipped the king-sized mattress making it at least usable until Cid was able to go buy a new one. Once that was done, she searched the closet in the hallway until she came up with another set of sheets for the bed and made it up. Afterward, she went out to the kitchen finding the bloodstain upon the linoleum from where Shera had originally fallen. She gathered some cleaning supplies and after several minutes of furious scrubbing Tifa had the floor again clean. Tifa made a quick inspection of the rest of the house searching for anymore evidence of this morning's events knowing that she needed to get rid of them before Cid saw. In his emotionally fragile state the last thing he needed was to see his dead wife's blood all over the house.

Once everything was cleaned Tifa noticed that the baby was up and took him out to his father. Cid readily accepted the child and held his son close as Tifa went out into the kitchen to make up a bottle. She made up the formula per its instructions and brought it back out, handing it to Cid before landing next to him on the couch.

He thanked her briefly before getting to the task of feeding his son. This was quickly becoming his favorite thing to do. There was something so incredibly soothing about watching the baby take its bottle and Cid was hit with a depth of emotion he had never felt before. He literally had to hold back his tears as the realization of exactly how _much _he loved this child set in.

Tifa put her arm around Cid's shoulders as she sat beside him. "One of us is going to have to go to the store later. There isn't much formula in that can and we're gonna need more."

Cid snapped out of his reverie. "I'll go after this. There's something I need anyway."

Sitting this close to him Tifa was able to notice for the first time the clear plastic patch adhered to Cid's upper arm. "You quit smoking, didn't you?"

He immediately blushed from embarrassment. "So what if I did?"

"Oh my God, really?" Tifa smiled. "I knew something was up when you didn't smoke during the entire wedding and reception. How long has this been going on?"

"Since we got back from Mideel." Cid locked his gaze onto the baby not wanting to have this discussion.

"Oh Cid, I'm so proud of you!" Tifa said, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Well don't get too excited." He sighed. "I don't think in light of recent circumstances I'm going to be able to keep it the fuck up."

"I understand." Tifa was disappointed to hear this but new that Cid was under an unnaturally high amount of stress at the moment. "You do whatever you have to in order to get through this."

"Thanks." Cid replied, happy that she wasn't going to lecture him on the subject for the time being.

They continued to sit there in silence until the baby had finished his bottle. With that they went into the nursery to go change the infant. Tifa stood back and let Cid take care of it on his own knowing that he was too proud to want her help with this. She was pleasantly surprised to see that he got it done without too much trouble. They got the baby redressed in a sleeper and then tightly wrapped him in a blanket, as it seemed to soothe the wriggling infant. It wasn't long before the baby seemed to fall back asleep.

Cid stared down at the drowsy infant in his arms. "Is he just gonna sleep and eat all the time?"

"At this age, yes." Tifa smiled.

"Oh." Cid carefully stooped over and placed the baby into its crib. He continued to stand looking over his son for a few moments before stepping back. "I guess I'll go to the store now while he's out." 

"You're sure you don't want me to go?" Tifa offered. "You could use this time to rest."

"Hell no." Cid crossed his arms. "Like I said, there is something I need to get anyway."

"Okay." Tifa gave him a quick hug. "You want to at least get something else on?"

Cid looked down realizing that he was in the same thing (except with a clean shirt) he had been when Tifa had first arrived. He walked off to his room and got a little more appropriately dressed. Glancing at the bed he saw that Tifa had cleaned up and was grateful that she had spared him the task. _I really don't know what I would do without her._

Once he was ready, he went into the nursery to look at his boy one more time before stepping out. He reached down a gently stroked the blond wisp of hair upon the infant's head, overwhelmed with how he felt for his baby. Cid loved this child so much it literally hurt and even though he had only had him for a few hours he couldn't imagine life without him. "I really got fucking attached to you quick. I'm gonna raise you right though. I owe it to Shera. I will tell you everything about her. You couldn't have asked for a better woman."

Tifa was coming down the hall but stopped when she heard Cid talking to the baby. She could hear the tears in his voice and was touched by his words. Tifa never would have expected such a thing to come from him. Quickly she retreated back to the kitchen not wanting to embarrass Cid by letting him know she'd listened.

The pilot dried his damp cheeks with the back of his hand and straightened up. He walked from the nursery and grabbed his wallet off the kitchen table. "See you in a bit."

"Okay." Tifa nodded not able to conceal her smile she still bore from eavesdropping. "I'll take good care of him."

"Yeah, I know." He started to turn toward the door but looked back at her. "What the fuck you so happy about?"

"Nothing." She lied. "You'd better get that formula before he wakes up again."

"Sure." Cid narrowed his eyes as he threw his jacket around his shoulders and walked out the door. He strode straight to the drug store only about a quarter of a mile away. Life in Rocket was getting underway for the day around him and the few people that were out gave him sympathetic nods as he went by. The news of this morning's events had traveled quickly through the town as did all news that concerned Cid. 

He knew that the baby supplies were near the back counter of the store and he quickly grabbed a bigger can of formula than the one he had at home. Cid then went to the counter in the back where the pharmacist greeted him.

"Mr. Highwind, I am sorry to hear about your loss." The old man sighed.

"Yeah, uh, I need some more of that fucking gum." Cid said staring down at the can of formula in his hands.

The pharmacist nodded and quickly produced the requested item. "Would you like to pay for this here or up front?"

He took the package off the counter and turned away. "I'll pay for it all up front."

Cid made another stop before the cooler in the store and picked up a case of beer. He knew he was going to need to drink in order to sleep tonight. With that now in his arms he went up to the cashier.

The checker was a young girl who was by far too shy to say anything to Cid irregardless of what he may have been through that morning. She started to ring up his items dropping the gum and formula in a bag only giving him occasional quick glances.

As Cid watched her, his eyes were uncontrollably drawn to the cigarette case behind her. He felt a sweat break across his skin as some all to familiar words automatically fell from his lips. "Throw in a pack of my usual."

The cashier silently complied, dropping the pack of cigarettes into his bag along with a pack of matches. 

Cid was a little unnerved by what he was doing and looked over at the register to see his total. He pulled out his wallet and tossed the appropriate amount onto the counter before taking the bag and case of beer up into his arms and striding from the store.


	109. The Weather Channel

Guilt's Cost: Part CVIII

The Weather Channel

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent slowly sat up having to again get accustomed to the sensation of his extremities functioning. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and got up looking over to the two men who had spent the better part of the morning repairing him. "Thank you."

Quigley just smiled and nodded slightly in response, whereas Porter took a few limping steps closer to him. "It's the least I can do after what you did for me."

"I'm afraid you have done by far more for me than I have for you." Vincent dropped his gaze away. "I am indebted to you."

"You and your friends save Rayna, that is more than I could have ever wanted." Porter turned slightly to pick up his crutches from where he had dropped them to the floor earlier.

During the brief silence that followed, Quigley excused himself and slipped from the room.

Tseng strode over to his brother's side and inspected him. "Everything works properly now?"

"I think so." Vincent said, bringing both his arms up slightly to emphasize the point. Feeling a little self-conscious as he was, Vincent made his way over to the dresser and started to look for something to wear. What he found there was the outfit that Reno had gotten for him some time before. He took the clothes and locked himself into the bathroom to dress.

As Vincent's eyes caught sight of himself in the mirror he froze. He hadn't seen himself like this yet since before Hojo's further modifications. The ivory of his skin was now rudely broken by the new black metal that had been fused to his body. He looked more like a robot now than anything else and he hated it. Before he had bemoaned all that had been done to him but now as he looked at what he had been turned into those previous complaints seemed trivial. When he heard the voices of the women back in the room he snapped out of his reverie and shook off the thoughts that had been holding him temporarily hostage.

He tossed his clothes onto the counter and started the shower wanting desperately to wash his hair. Once the water was going hot enough he stepped in only giving passing thought as to the water resistance of his new body.

Angel, Rayna, and Reno had finally returned from their trip up to the surface. Upon learning the news that Vincent was again functioning they were all very excited including Reno, despite the fact he didn't show it.

Porter made his way over to Rayna and kissed her sweetly. "You want to go to our quarters and show me what you got?"

"Sure." She giggled, having a surprise or two in her shopping bag for him.

They departed together leaving the other three alone for the moment. Reno went and tossed himself onto the couch, spent from being dragged from store to store with the two women. He hated shopping absolutely and completely.

Angel stood next to her uncle smiling. "So father is normal again?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that but he had control over his body again." Tseng said in a bittersweet tone.

"Oh yeah." She sighed glancing quickly over to the bathroom door hearing the shower running inside. "I was really starting to worry that he was going to be in that trance forever."

"I know." Tseng frowned unconsciously to himself. "But he said that last night when Tifa left it sort of… caused something to snap within him, if you will."

Angel raised her eyebrows realizing the depth of emotion her father must have for his wife. "Well, whatever it took I'm thankful it happened. I couldn't stand to watch that anymore, either the state he was in or the pain Tifa felt over it. It was too much to bear and I was getting a little afraid. As strong as Tifa was trying to be for him, I don't know how much longer she would have been able to keep going honestly."

"Yes." He agreed. "That's why I originally urged Tifa to leave last night. I needed to get them apart from one another at least for a while and it looks like it might have worked out well for everyone involved."

"That reminds me, I wonder how poor Mr. Highwind is dealing with all that happened to him. To lose your wife during the birth of your first child must be horrible." Angel hung her head, empathetic to what the pilot must be going through.

Tseng knitted his brows for a moment, reflecting on the type of man he knew Cid to be. The phone call that he had received the night before had been so out of character for Cid that Tseng had known that something was up. Now to know that Shera was dead sent a chill down his spine. Somehow, Cid must have known even before the fact that something wasn't right or else he would never have called for help like that. It broke Tseng's heart.

Angel watched her uncle's face darken with emotion and took one of his hands up into hers. "Tifa seems to really like Cid, I'm glad that she's there for him."

Tseng turned his gaze to the bathroom door. "I wonder what Vincent will want to do now. If he will stay here or go to see Tifa in Rocket now that he can move again."

Angel smiled. "I think we both know that he won't be able to stay away from Tifa. I bet he asks to head to Rocket the minute he gets out of that shower."

"Oh would you two knock it the fuck off with the mushy shit." Reno called to them from the couch. He had been trying desperately to pay attention to some documentary on thunderstorms and their emotional banter was getting the better of him. "Make it just about impossible for anyone to watch a little TV every once in a while, you know."

Tseng stared over at his obnoxious second in command and then took notice of what he was watching. "Reno?"

"What?" He replied, more than a little annoyed.

"What is it with the weather documentaries?" Tseng hid his smile, wanting to appear serious. "It seems like that is all you watch."

To be called on something he knew to be true caused him to blush slightly in embarrassment. "I like storms and stuff, is that a problem for you?"

"No, I was just wondering if you had some suppressed desire to be a weatherman?" Tseng placed his hands on his hips and cocked his head slightly.

Reno narrowed his eyes and locked gazes with his boss. True or not, he wasn't going to give Tseng the satisfaction of knowing his secret dream. "Better than wishing I was a fucking ballerina or whatever it is your types dream of."

"Reno!" Angel walked right over to her husband and threw the shopping bag she had been holding at him as hard as she could. Aware of her uncle's sexual preference she grew terribly embarrassed for what he had said.

Reno defended himself weakly from her assault while continuing to engage in eye contact with the older man. If anyone had walked in, they would have assumed that this stare down was a prelude to a fight but after a few more moments both Reno and Tseng broke into riotous laughter.

Tseng broke off the glare first and looked down at the floor giggling uncontrollably. "A ballerina? Is that what you really think? You have a lot to learn my friend."

Reno scoffed and tried to regain his composure. "You ain't teaching me nothing. You stay the hell away."

Angel looked back and forth between the two men, not exactly certain what had just happened. For Tseng to tolerate such a comment from Reno they must truly like each other more than they normally let on. Even she, the person who knew the two of them the best, was shocked.

It was shortly thereafter that Vincent emerged from the bathroom cleaned and dressed. He looked over at Tseng as the plumes of steam from the shower he had taken spilled out around him. "I've been thinking."

"There's a surprise." Reno sighed from the couch still trying to concentrate on his show but not able to miss an opportunity.

"What's that?" Tseng replied, opting to ignore Reno's further stupidity for the time being.

"I want to go to Rocket and help Tifa with Cid." Vincent said, taking a few steps toward them.

Angel looked at her uncle and cocked an eyebrow. "Go figure."

Tseng turned to her and smiled. "Looks like you called it."


	110. Trip Plans

Guilt's Cost: Part CX

Trip Plans

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Jaras had kept himself locked away in his room for the most part accept for the times that he had gone to check on Tifa before she had left the night before. He hadn't had anymore memories of his past resurface since the first and that was fortunate as he was having a hard enough time dealing with that. The days passed with him buried in books as he tried to cut off the outside world. After his first flashback his impulse had been to be with others, hoping that by being with them he could ward off anymore memories but now he had sunk into some sort of depression that left him wanting to be alone. Without the people from his past around him, maybe his mind would leave him in peace.

When he had gone out to pick up something to eat from the cafeteria at lunch-time he had run into Reno who'd taken it upon himself to give him the full rundown of the days events. The news that his father was better was great but offset by the news that Tifa wasn't in the base. Knowing that she was in Rocket made him want to be there as well, no matter how inappropriate it might have been for him to go. For some reason, he felt compelled to go see Vincent.

Jaras left the cafeteria after only taking a small portion of his meal and went to Vincent's room, as Reno had told him that was where he still was along with Tseng. He got there and knocked upon the door, a little surprised when Vincent answered. "Hi."

Vincent smiled and opened the door wide, motioning for his son to enter. "Jaras, I'm glad to see you."

He grinned briefly in response as he went past and made his way to the couch. "Reno told me you were up and about."

Tseng moved over to make room for Jaras to sit next to him. "We haven't seen much of you lately. Are you doing all right?"

He sat and sighed. "Yeah, I think so. I've basically just been coming out for food and I came by here to check on Tifa and my father a few times."

"I see." Tseng dropped his gaze away. Truth be told he had been a little hurt that his nephew had been so distant since returning from the mission. Before that Jaras had been spending a lot of time with him and Tseng had really enjoyed that. "I was worried that something was wrong. I came by your room a few times but you never answered the door."

"I'm sorry." Jaras knew that he'd unintentionally hurt his uncle's feelings. "It was nothing personal. I've just been thinking about things an awful lot. I've been afraid of regaining anymore memories."

Vincent hadn't heard news of this before. Tifa and Jaras had never talked about this in his presence. "You remembered something?"

"Yes." Jaras locked gazes with his father, knowing that he was the only one present who could understand the terrors of belonging to Hojo. "Just a little."

Vincent came over and knelt before his son. "I'm terribly sorry. Do you think it had to do with going with us to the Shin Ra building?"

"I don't really know." Jaras frowned to himself. "I don't see why it would. The Shin Ra building from the past was destroyed and was very much unlike the one they rebuilt. So I don't really know what would spark such a memory."

"But the inside of the lab was basically the same as all of Hojo's other facilities." Vincent thought to himself.

Jaras shrugged it off, not wanting to think about it anymore. "It doesn't matter. But I was thinking that maybe getting out of here for a little while might be a good idea. Maybe I just need a break from all of this."

Tseng knitted his brows in thought for a second. "Vincent wants to go to Rocket to be with Tifa. Maybe he could drop you off somewhere on the way?"

Jaras couldn't suppress his need to smile. This was all working out far too well for him. "Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing Rocket. Really, I don't remember ever being there so it would be like the first time."

Tseng looked at Vincent. "Would you have any objections?"

"No, that would at least leave someone to make the trip with me." Vincent nodded slightly. He had a sneaking suspicion on what Jaras's motivations for going there were but on the same token Vincent did want to spend more time with his son and this would give them a chance. "I was going to leave this afternoon. The chopper that took Tifa won't be back until later and I was going to hop on an airship."

Jaras raised his eyebrows. "That sounds great. I guess I should go get ready."

"This will work out well." Tseng stood up. "I will use this time to discuss things with the Turk you brought back. I need to work out some sort of plan on how to get Hojo once and for all and stop his Neo-Jenova Project before it gets too far."

Vincent stared over at his brother as he too rose back up. "You better be planning on counting me in on that mission. I need to see him die with my own eyes or I will never believe it."

Jaras nodded. "And me as well. I think that the two of us have the greatest interest in seeing to his end."

Tseng knew that they were right, but wondered about how well Jaras would be able to carry out such a plan. He may have once been Sephiroth but now he was a mild mannered bookworm. If he would be able to rise to the occasion and actually kill remained to be seen. "Well, I'll be thinking about what we need to do. Hopefully by the time you return everything will be worked out. Hey Vincent?"

"Yeah?" He replied.

"Don't you think you should call Tifa and let her know that you're moving and going to show up?" Tseng asked.

Vincent laughed quietly to himself. "No, I think she deserves a pleasant surprise."

***

As per Hojo's request, Rude had taken the madman up to the second Midgar lab the day of Vincent's escape. The scientist had remained up there ever since, working furiously to get the growth accelerator operating. His desire to get the Neo-Jenova project underway was all consuming. There could be no further delays and Rude and the few other people that Hojo had given access to the lab had to literally bring him his meals or else he certainly would have starved to death, unable to break away from his work as it was. He never intentionally slept anymore, simply passing out from his exhaustion where he was only to wake up and continue on. Hojo was a man possessed, and also a man completely distraught from the loss of his most precious Mr. Valentine. Working on this project was the only thing he could do to keep his mind off of his heartache.

It was on the day that Shera died that Hojo finally placed the most promising of his embryos into the accelerator. He had wished to start its growth much earlier but his paranoia over the functionality of the machine had kept him from getting underway until now. He had completely rebuilt the accelerator in this time, hoping that his modifications he had made would make it quicker and more efficient.

Once the embryo was in the accelerator Hojo fell back into a chair to stare on, relieved that things were finally working out. His fatigue was getting the better of him and he became emotional. Bittersweet tears ran down his cheeks and he pulled off his glasses to wipe his face. His joy at the final start to the project was countered by the pain he felt in his heart. Mr. Valentine had run away and how he was ever going to get him back he did not know.

Hojo licked his lips as he twisted the stolen wedding ring around his finger. "You will come back to me, won't you Mr. Valentine? You know I love you. You won't be able to survive out there without me and you know it. Even if you come back just to kill me, I know that you will be back."


	111. Afternoon

Guilt's Cost: Part CXI

Afternoon

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The baby had woken up while Cid was out and Tifa sat rocking him gently in the living room of the house as she watched television. When Cid finally arrived home he went in through the back door and went straight to his room. He locked the door and took the cigarettes out of the shopping bag and stashed them into the upper drawer of his dresser. Somehow he felt ashamed that he had gotten them and didn't want Tifa to know. Once that was done, he went back out into the kitchen and threw the case of beer into the refrigerator and placed the container of formula onto the counter. His package of gum was already opened and shoved into a pocket of his coat, which he tossed onto the table.

Tifa looked up from the television and smiled at Cid when he eventually made his way to the couch and sat next to her. "You're back."

"Way to state the obvious." Cid grumbled; his anger at himself causing him to be less sociable than normal.

She raised an eyebrow at his tone but decided to allow it to slide. Tifa knew that Cid was under a terrible strain at the moment and she wasn't about to push him. "Do you want to hold the baby?"

Cid reached out for his son before Tifa had even finished the question. For some reason holding the child was calming to his very frayed nerves. He held the baby close to his chest and watched as he squirmed slightly before falling back off into sleep. The faintest of smiles came to Cid's lips and he wasn't aware of it.

Upon seeing Cid relax Tifa rose from the couch. "I'm gonna go see what I can come up with for lunch."

"I'm not hungry." Cid said, half to himself.

Tifa didn't answer him. She was going to make food whether he liked it or not and come hell or high water Tifa was going to make sure that he didn't starve himself. After rummaging around for a few minutes she managed to come up with a box of macaroni and some canned corn. Obviously Cid and Shera went out to eat a lot more than they had cooked.

With Tifa safely out of the room, Cid couldn't help but feel tears again return to his eyes. He continued to stare down at his son at a loss for what he was going to do. How he was going to manage to raise this child on his own he did not know. Cid was aware that Tifa wouldn't be staying here forever and the thought of her leaving him alone with the baby scared him. Unconsciously he began to rock the baby slightly as his anxiety got the better of him.

Tifa worked in the kitchen, cooking their would be lunch. As the pasta boiled she looked around noticing things she had never seen before. Over toward the refrigerator on the counter there was a small group of pictures. She went over and examined them to see what they were of. The first and largest of the group was a picture of Cid and Shera the day they had gotten married at the courthouse. Cid's expression was one of clear annoyance but Shera was smiling and bright, holding up their marriage certificate. Somehow this image seemed to sum up the entire relationship between the two perfectly.

The next one caught Tifa a little by surprise. It was a picture of Vincent standing on deck of the Highwind looking over the rail. Why Cid would ever have taken a picture like this and why he would feel the need to have it out confused Tifa. She knew very well that back then those two did not care much for one another. Nonetheless, it was a beautiful picture of her husband. His long black hair was being pushed back slightly from the wind and his red cloak for one of the few instances was unbuckled and resting low on his shoulders. Tifa couldn't help but pick up this photograph to examine it closer. She was completely mystified and needed to ask Cid about it.

As she walked into the living room she found Cid gazing down at his son with tears streaking his cheeks. She sat next to him and placed an arm around his shoulders. "Are you okay?"

Cid quickly attempted to wipe away his tears but it wasn't easy with the baby in his arms. "Yeah, I just got a little caught up in my thoughts."

"Oh." Tifa tried to hide the picture she was still holding in her other hand, now slightly ashamed to be bringing it to Cid's attention at the moment.

The pilot caught the movement of the photo and narrowed his eyes. "What do you have there?"

Tifa blushed a little and brought the picture up. "I just saw this for the first time and I was wondering why you had a picture of Vincent? I didn't think you liked him enough to have gone around shooting photos of him back then."

Cid rolled his eyes and snatched the picture away from her. No one really got the purpose of this picture and it was starting to annoy him. He held it up right before Tifa's face. "Look behind him. It wasn't Vincent I was trying to shoot, I wanted to get a good shot of the engines of the Highwind."

Tifa was stung a bit by his tone, but upon looking she did see what he was talking about. It wasn't a picture of Vincent at all, he had just happened to be in the way at the time. That seemed to make a little more sense to her but she still couldn't help but smile to herself because when you got right down to it, this was by far a better picture of Vincent than the engines of the airship.

***

Vincent and Jaras had gotten onboard Tseng's airship later that afternoon. The flight to Rocket would take until the same time tomorrow and they found themselves with twenty-four hours to talk. They were making this trip alone with only the flight crew on board for company. With all the cabins on the ship open they took separate rooms. Jaras settled in quickly and landed in a corner on the bridge and began to read as usual. Vincent went over and sat next to him feeling the need to discuss things with his son.

"So you've never been to Rocket before?" Vincent asked, gazing out the view window.

"No." Jaras replied, pulling his glasses from his nose resigning to the fact that his father wasn't going to let him read for the time being. "I don't remember any thing other than Mideel."

"Oh." The tone he was hearing told Vincent that his son was not really in the mood for conversation. "If you want me to go away I will."

Jaras sighed and placed his book onto the floor. He then crossed his arms and looked into his father's eyes. "What am I supposed to do?"

Vincent was caught a little off guard by this statement. "What?"

Jaras furrowed his brow and flipped a hand. "What am I supposed to do? I feel like my entire life is falling to Hell."

He moved a little closer to Jaras. The pain that he could see in his son was biting. "How so?"

"I was perfectly happy living in Mideel." Jaras tensed the muscles in his jaw. "Blissfully unaware to all that I had been and done in my past. Why did I have to find out? Why couldn't I have just been left alone there to live out my life?"

"They were worried that Shin Ra would find you." Vincent answered quietly.

"I wonder if it would really be worse to be dead than to be living like this now." He hung his head and fought back the tears. "I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes I can remember things I read about Sephiroth and I can see the old pictures from the books of things he did. Do you know what kind of guilt that's giving me?"

"But that wasn't you." Vincent's tone was low. "That was a result of the Jenova within you."

"But it was me!" Jaras raised his voice slightly. "That was me, like it or not, that was me and there is no way I can ever forget that. Not now, not ever. On top of that, how am I supposed to deal with the fact that I'm in love with my step mother?"

Vincent was speechless. Jaras's feelings for Tifa had gone on completely without his notice. True he knew about the kiss, but he was convinced up until now that the act had been one carried out in confusion and pain. How he could respond to this news he did not know. Never in a million years did he think that he would be in such a dilemma.

Jaras got up and turned away. "Yeah, that's right, I'm in love with Tifa. On top of everything else, I fell in love with someone I can never have. I can't even be attracted to the right people. I am absolutely miserable."

Vincent rose up and placed a hand onto Jaras's shoulder. "It's okay…"

"No it's not!" Jaras spun and knocked Vincent's arm away. "I can't live like this! You know the only reason I'm going to Rocket is to be closer to Tifa! How can you not hate me for that?"

"Hate you for being in love with Tifa?" Vincent scoffed. "How can I hate you for that? She's a wonderful woman, I would think less of you if you said you couldn't love her."

"She's your wife!" Jaras's hands were shaking. 

A sudden realization set in to Vincent's mind. "Do you want me to hate you? Is that it?"

"How can you not? After all that I have done?" Hot tears were burning in Jaras's glowing eyes.

"Because you are my son!" Vincent took a step closer. "I can't hate you, not then or now. I know that what happened in your past is a result of Hojo's experimentation and the Jenova. I hold nothing against you. Nor does anyone else. Why can't you just accept that?"

Jaras turned away again. "I shouldn't be here… I should have died seven years ago."

"Jaras, don't say that." Vincent somehow felt that he was fighting a losing battle.

"But it's true." He sighed deeply. "All those people I killed, all that suffering I caused… why should I get to live?"

"Because like I said before, it wasn't your fault. And as far as you being in love with Tifa, there is no way I can hold that against you either." Vincent was getting firmer with his words, wanting Jaras to get the point.

Jaras drew in a sharp breath. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"Do you want to go back to Mideel?" Vincent dared to ask.

Jaras looked back at him over his shoulder. "What's the point? I can't just go back to pretending that everything is fine. I wish I could just forget and go on, but that isn't going to happen. I can never go back to the life I had and I hate it. I never would have imagined that learning about my past would ruin my life like this."

Vincent closed his eyes and sighed. This was definitely his son, just as unable to let go of anything painful from his past as he had been. Jaras was going to let this destroy him just as Vincent had let his feelings for his own past take him down. "Jaras, look at me."

Slowly he turned to face his father. His eyes burned with his emotion but no words came from him.

"Jaras, you can't let this run your life." Vincent reached out and grabbed one of Jaras's hands. "You won't be doing anyone any favors by holding onto this. I'm sorry to let you down but I'm not going to hate you nor is anyone else."

Jaras stared down to where his hand met his father's. "Why didn't you ever tell me that you were my father seven years ago?"

For a second time, Vincent was caught with his guard down. His eyes went wide and his words stammered as he was being called on something that had plagued him for years. "I… I didn't know what to say. Do you honestly think that it would have made a difference?"

Jaras brought his eyes up to meet Vincent's. "We will never know that now, will we?"

"Do you hate me for that?" Vincent felt his heart wrenched.

"I don't know what I feel right now." Jaras looked away again. "Maybe I do hate you, but not for that. Maybe I hate you for creating me in the first place."

"Jaras, the time that I spent with Lucretia has been torturing me for over thirty years. I don't regret being with your mother, all I regret is not getting her away from Hojo and raising you as my own." Vincent felt dampness in his own eyes. "I failed you as a father, I will give you that, and if you hate me for it then I don't blame you. But when you get right down to it, all that happened in your life I could have prevented if I had been a man and stepped up to the challenge. Instead I ran away and let Hojo have your mother and you. Don't blame yourself for anything, blame me."

Jaras was shocked by the way this conversation had just turned. To hear such things from his father he never would have expected and now he felt bad for having exposed the true feelings within the man before him. When he saw the first hot tear run down Vincent's cheek Jaras couldn't stand it. He had never wished to hurt his father. He took a step forward and embraced Vincent.

Vincent threw his arms around his son in return. He had been afraid that this was going to be the end of their relationship by the course of the conversation and he was overwhelmed with relief that his son wasn't going to push him away.


	112. Evening

Guilt's Cost: Part CXII

Evening

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

As is the routine in all households with new babies, the day for Tifa and Cid passed between feedings, diaper changes, and naps. Cid kept his son in his arms for most of the time, only passing him off to Tifa when he had to go to the bathroom or raid his coat for more gum. They talked very little; Cid just taking comfort in the fact that she was there with him.

When nightfall came Tifa knew that she had to do something for dinner. After searching the kitchen and realizing that supplies for making an acceptable meal were running low she decided to order something for take out. Tifa grabbed the phone book and landed on the couch next to where Cid was offering the child yet another bottle.

"What are you in the mood for?" Tifa asked him, flipping to the restaurant section.

Cid didn't answer right away. "Hell, I don't know. I don't really care."

"Fine then." Tifa scanned the page and her eyes landed on the biggest ad there. "How about the Chicken Palace?"

"Whatever you want." Cid sighed, not taking his eyes off his son. "My wallet is on the kitchen table, take it with you to pay."

"You don't want to walk there with me?" Tifa asked, getting up and moving to the phone.

"No, me and the kid are perfectly content to stay right here." Truth be told, Cid was so exhausted from the day's events that he didn't think he could make the short trip if he wanted too.

"Okay." She picked up the phone and dialed. After several rings someone finally answered and she placed her order. 

Cid placed the now emptied bottle onto the coffee table and got up. He walked past Tifa and strode into the nursery to change the baby. He laid his son down carefully on the table and pealed away the blanket that was wrapping him. Afterward he unzipped the sleeper so he could get to the offending diaper.

Tifa hung up the phone and followed Cid. She looked around the corner to spy on him. "Is there anything you need me to do before I go?"

"I don't think so." Cid huffed as he struggled with the baby wipe dispenser. "You got biscuits, right?"

"Yeah, I ordered some." Tifa smiled to herself, having remembered how much the pilot liked Chicken Palace biscuits. "I didn't forget. And I got the coleslaw too."

"Good." Cid slid a clean diaper under the wriggling baby. "See you in a few."

"Okay." Tifa gave him a smile before heading out for their dinner.

She picked up Cid's coat off the table as she left, knowing that she would need the extra warmth out in the cool night air. Fall was coming and she could see her breath billow out before her as she went.

Back at the house, Cid had the baby diapered and dressed again. The infant was again growing sleepy and Cid decided to place him into his crib and then he left the room.

He went back toward the kitchen feeling that it was time for another piece of gum. Cid reached the kitchen table and looked around, discovering that his jacket was no where to be found. "Fucking Tifa must have taken it."

Cid's nicotine withdrawal was cutting through him like crazy at the moment. The patches he had gotten did nothing for him and only by keeping a constant supply of the gum in his mouth could he ward off the absolute need to smoke. Cid was no way, shape, or form strong enough to just quit without such aids. At once his anxiety over all that he had been through rushed in on him and his hands began to shake.

Without even thinking about it he went to his room and opened the dresser drawer. His cigarettes he had purchased earlier were laying there and he reached down and picked them up. Cid grabbed his lighter from the top of the dresser and went out to sit on the bench just outside the kitchen door.

He set the lighter down next to him and looked at the red and white pack of cigarettes in his right hand. After cursing to himself he pulled the cellophane wrapper from the pack and allowed it to flutter to the ground. Cid tamped the pack a few times against the palm of his left hand and then pulled off one corner of the top. He shook the pack such that one cigarette popped up about two inches from the pack. In a flash he had it pulled out and set the remainder of the pack down on the bench next to him.

With trembling hands Cid put the cigarette to his lips. He brought the lighter up and flicked it causing a small flame to erupt. Cid's heart was pounding within his chest as he prepared to light up. He wanted this so badly it was making him mad but before the flame touched the tip of the cigarette he dropped the lighter to the ground. Tears again burned in his eyes and he hung his head, allowing the unlit cigarette to fall to the ground before him. A fierce anger welled up within him and he picked up the pack from the bench and hurled it off toward the grass.

"God damned it!" He cursed himself as he covered his face with his hands. "I can't fucking do this…"

Cid closed his eyes as the tears began to fall and he stomped his lighter into the dust. Every argument that he had ever had with Shera over his smoking habits flooded into his mind. Ever since she had moved in she had hounded him about it and all that had ever done was annoy him. Maybe she did it out of caring but to him it just seemed like some sort of power trip she was on. Like he had always said, Cid Highwind does what he wants and screw everybody else. But when she had gotten pregnant and he had been relegated to smoking outdoors as per Shera's doctor's orders Cid had started to break. He didn't want to spend his time separated from his wife and baby if he wasn't going to be allowed to smoke around them. Then when he was with Tifa on the trip to Mideel he finally snapped. When Tifa was dragging it out of him about how much he really did love Shera it hit him. That's what had caused him to run off to the drugstore that next morning and attempt to buy everything under the sun to help him stop.

And yet in a mere matter of moments he had almost thrown all that progress away. Somehow at the last second he had come to feel that by giving in and smoking he was betraying Shera. Maybe she was gone now, but he had made her a promise. Perhaps it wasn't a promise that he had come out and said to her, but it was something that he had done on her behalf nonetheless. Cid drew in a deep breath and turned his eyes up to the darkening sky. He wouldn't let her down, whether she was here to know it or not.

Tifa got back to the house and made her way to the kitchen. She set the bags of take out onto the table and saw that the back door to the house was opened. Tifa stepped out and found Cid looking quite distressed still sitting on the bench. "Cid?"

He ran his hands over his face to remove any stray tears before looking at her. "What?"

"Are you okay?" Tifa took a few steps closer to him.

Cid narrowed his eyes, noticing that she was still wearing his coat. "Can I have a piece of gum please?"

Tifa was confused for a second before reaching into the pocket of the jacket and finding the package of gum within. She held it out to him.

Cid grabbed the package away quickly, tearing into it and throwing three pieces at once into his mouth.

She smiled at him, knowing that there was more bothering him at the moment than his need for nicotine. Tifa reached out and placed a hand onto his shoulder. "Cid, you want to go in and eat now?"

He looked up at her kind expression. Again his gratitude that she was here for him during this time welled up. Cid covered her hand with his own and returned her grin. "Yeah, okay."

They went in and dug into the food that Tifa had brought home. Cid managed to pour back four of the beers that he had bought earlier in the day and Tifa had helped herself to one as well.

After dinner they got the baby one more time for a feeding and changing. Once that was done it was late enough for the both of them to be extremely exhausted. They placed the again sleeping infant into its crib and left the nursery.

Cid turned to Tifa just outside the baby's door. "How long until he wakes us up?"

"If we're lucky three hours or so. Then he'll wake up and want to be fed again." Tifa answered.

"Okay, I think I can handle that." Cid stretched and scratched the back of his head.

"How about we take turns tending to him tonight?" Tifa looked back over her shoulder at the sleeping child. "I'll take the first feeding and the you get the next. That way you can get more sleep."

Cid was inclined to refuse and just take care of the baby completely on his own, but he knew very well that with as tired as he was he would never be able to pull it off. "I'm not gonna argue."

"Good." Tifa dropped her gaze to the floor. "Where do you want me to sleep?"

Cid cocked an eyebrow, surprised that she would even ask that. "We always end up in bed together anyway so why not just save both of us the trouble?"

Tifa stared up at him and broke into a smile. She had been hoping that he would say that. After all the tear filled nights she had spent in his arms, being able to comfort him for once seemed the least she could do. "Okay, I'm going to go change in the bathroom and have a shower first."

"Sure." Cid replied, heading off toward his bedroom. He pulled his shirt off as he walked, not feeling the need to wait. For some reason that he couldn't explain, Cid felt almost as comfortable around Tifa as he had around Shera.

Twenty minutes later Tifa emerged from the bathroom clad in a nightshirt and she checked on the baby before going back to Cid's room. He was just sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for her before turning off the light. Cid had stripped down to just his boxers and looked extremely tired and worn. Tifa moved through the room and went to the opposite side of the bed and climbed beneath the covers. The night was turning out to be unusually cold and she shivered a bit as the cold sheets leached precious heat from her skin.

Cid clicked off the lamp next to the bed and laid down as well. He got flat on his back and it wasn't long before Tifa was nestled into his side. She kissed his cheek sweetly and rested an arm across his chest. He placed a hand onto her arm and closed his eyes.

Tifa stared at his profile in the darkness. "Cid?"

"Yeah?" He replied lazily.

"I think you're doing great. Shera would be really proud of you, you know that?" Tifa whispered.

He couldn't respond right away. "Thanks. Uh, I'm really glad you're here."

"I'm glad I could be here for you. I just never figured that I would be comforting you instead of the other way around." Tifa sighed.

"Yeah, it's fucked up." Even now Cid was still Cid.

"But I'm happy to do it for you." Tifa nuzzled in a little closer. "I want you to know something."

"What?" He turned to look at her.

"I love you." She smiled. "I always have and I always will."

Cid reciprocated her smile. "Aw, the Hell Tifa. I love you, too."

Tifa closed her eyes with the grin upon her lips. Cid was her best friend in the world and next to Vincent she loved him above all others. If Vincent and her had to move in permanently to see him through this then that is what she would gladly do.


	113. MREs

Guilt's Cost: Part CXIII

MREs

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

As the airship flew toward the dimming sunset, Vincent was up on the deck of the ship looking over the side at the scenery passing below. After their talk earlier, Jaras had grown extremely exhausted and had retired to his cabin for a nap. Once alone, Vincent had taken up his natural perch near the rail needing to be free of the internal confines of the airships cramped passageways. For the moment, Vincent had his hair down and it blew back in the breeze away from his face. His ever-present red cloak had been terribly damage when Chaos had erupted from him during the sexual assault on Tifa and he stood in the cold air without it. His eyes would occasionally drift from the ground and clouds below them to his newly replaced hands. The sight of the two black metal appendages was by far more disturbing to him than the sight of his former brassy claw. At least though, if he got a pair of gloves to wear he would almost appear normal while clothed. Certainly Tifa wouldn't want him to touch her with these. All he had wanted after all his time in the lab was to be able to hold Tifa in his arms again but now his arms were no longer _his. _How would she respond to the feel of his cold metallic body, he wondered. There too was the matter of his neutered anatomy. Had Tifa really thought anything about that? Whether or not he could keep her satisfied both physically and mentally now remained to be seen.

The door behind him opened and Vincent shook himself out of his self-pity and turned to look. Jaras was standing there behind him with two foil wrapped rations in his hands.

"Did you get any rest?" Vincent asked, moving away from the railing.

Jaras flashed a quick smile. "Yes, thanks. I was wondering if you were hungry?"

Vincent accepted one of the two rations from his son and sat down on the deck. "Actually, I'm starved. It's been a long day."

"Yes it has." Jaras also got to the deck very near to Vincent.

They both tore the foil from their would be meals and ate the heavily preserved food contained within. It wasn't particularly good, but luckily the two of them were hungry enough not to care very much. The small rations were quickly finished and they sat looking at one another.

Jaras knitted his brow. "I've been thinking, and I'm really sorry for the way I was acting earlier."

Vincent smiled in response. "Don't worry about it. You've been through so much recently that you have every right to your feelings. Sometimes we need to vent like that; it helps get everything out onto the table. Notice how tired you got afterward?"

"Yeah." Jaras began to fidget with the foil wrapper from his dinner.

"Well that was the feeling of relief." Vincent hung his head. "I don't want you to think that you ever need to hide your feelings from me, all right?"

Jaras tossed the small foil ball that he had made onto the deck. "Okay."

"You know that when you try and hide things that just causes you to feel worse. I learned that the hard way and I don't want you going down the same path. Tseng and I do that far too much and you being my son seem to be inclined to do it as well. I guess it's a familial flaw." Vincent ran a hand through his raven locks.

Jaras openly laughed. "I suppose all families have their less than desirable traits. But I want you to know something."

"What?" Vincent locked gazes with his son, finding his green eyes burning in the dim light.

"I would feel a whole hell of a lot worse if Hojo was my father than you. It would make my existence as Sephiroth down right unbearable." Jaras maintained eye contact despite his embarrassment. "I am grateful that you are my father."

Vincent raised his eyebrows, not having expected such a statement from the man before him. "You don't know how much that means to me. I want you to understand that you were the result of my love for your mother, not some cold scientific experiment as would have been if Hojo had sired you."

"I know, and that is why I am grateful." Jaras allowed his gaze to wander. "At the very least, Sephiroth was created out of something other than evil and misguided ambition."

"I loved your mother very much." Vincent finally found himself able to speak of Lucretia without feeling tears in his eyes. "She was absolutely everything I had ever dreamed of but unfortunately she was married to Hojo. And even worse for me, despite the fact that she wasn't happy with him, she felt enough of an obligation as to him as his wife to eventually turn away from the affair she and I were having. For better or worse that happened after you were conceived."

"For better or worse…" Jaras sighed, "that is an interesting way to put it."

"Right now, in this moment, I think it is obvious that it was for better." Vincent reached out and placed a hand on his son's leg. "I will never let you down as a father again."

Jaras offered Vincent a smile. "And I will never let you down as a son again."

***

It wasn't much later that they both agreed to call it a night and the made their way below deck to their cabins. After a brief goodnight, they shut the doors to their respective rooms. 

Vincent, not wanting to see his altered body any more than possible just kicked off his boots and laid on the bed fully clothed. He pulled the comforter over himself and turned off the light.

Jaras entered his own room and stripped to his boxers. He walked into the small bathroom of the cabin and proceeded to carry out his nightly rituals. Once everything was done, he turned to leave but as he flipped off the bathroom's light, he caught sight of himself in the bathroom mirror standing shirtless.

Upon seeing his own image, Jaras's mind betrayed him again. He doubled over and held his head in his hands, feeling his heart rate quicken to an impossible rate and a sweat break upon his skin. With his entire body trembling he sank to his knees.

Jaras's consciousness was disconnected from his body. He felt the weight of his sword in his right hand and he was staring upward into a black void. From above him someone appeared; someone that he instantly recognized as Cloud Strife. As Cloud alit on the ground before him, Jaras, now Sephiroth, felt an evil sneer upon his lips. His grip around the hilt of his sword tightened and he raised the weapon, ready to strike down the impudent teenager before him once and for all. As he lashed out with his Murasame Cloud brought up his own blade and diverted the blow within inches of his own body. Sephiroth looked on in amazement, disbelieving that the boy before him could ward off what should have been a deathblow.

At that moment, something changed within the Mako blue eyes of the young man before him. Sephiroth's expression fell, being replaced with one of fear. He was presently staring his own death in the face and he knew it. An unknown power overtook Cloud and he slashed with his immense blade again and again, faster that Sephiroth ever could have hoped to dodge.

Sephiroth gasped in horror as the attack ended, feeling the dozens of lacerations on his body begin to bleed. The feeling of death overcoming what he had imagined to be an immortal body swallowed him. 

Jaras let out a scream as the sensation of his past slaughter filled his body. He felt every wound and all the pain as though it were happening in the present.

Vincent heard the cry from his own room and he flew from the bed and into Jaras's cabin. He found his son laying on the floor just outside the bathroom door. When Jaras had fallen from his knees to his side he had bashed his head against a small table and he was bleeding from a cut at his hairline.

Vincent stooped down being overcome with worry and gathered his son into his arms. He shook him trying to bring him back to reality. "Jaras?! Come on, Jaras?!"

Jaras's eyes fluttered open as the flashback stared to fade but as he felt the sensation of blood running down his face the memory burned back. He was mired in the terror of his own death and he grappled at his father's shirt, his eyes wide with fear. "Oh God, don't let me die! Please, I don't want to die! You are all trying to kill me!"

"Jaras!" Vincent continued to panic as the fear from his son leeched into him. "You're okay! Come on, you're not dying!"

Uncontrollable tears began to stream from Jaras's eyes. His mind was desperately trying to regain hold of the present but it wasn't happening quickly. "I don't want to die… please help me…"

Vincent pulled Jaras closer, shaking him a little more vigorously. "Please Jaras, come on! No one is hurting you!"

Jaras continued to hyperventilate, his limbs flailing helplessly. "Cloud's killing me… He's killing me… You're all killing me…"

The realization of exactly what was going on within his son's mind hit Vincent like a ton of bricks. He stared down into Jaras's frantic eyes and shouted. "Sephiroth! You are not dying! That is the past!"

Upon hearing his true name, Jaras managed to come to grips with reality. His terror abated and he recognized the man holding him. Vincent wasn't there to harm him, he was there out of concern. He buried his face into his father's chest and wept. "I'm Sephiroth… why am I Sephiroth?"

Vincent stroked his son's hair and started to rock him. "You're not Sephiroth, you're Jaras, come on let it go."

After several minutes Jaras's heart rate returned to normal. He slid away from his father and got up, rather unsteadily. He went back into the bathroom and turned on the light. The flow of blood from the injury he had sustained had stopped but his face was still streaked with drying blood. When he saw the reflection in the mirror of his crimson stained face the image of Sephiroth standing covered in blood washed through his mind again. Jaras leaned onto the sink and turned on the water, getting to the task of washing his face before the memory could overtake him again.

Vincent stood in the bathroom doorway watching as Jaras cleaned up. He too was clearly shaken from witnessing his son's attack but was at least grateful that he had been there to help him through it.

Jaras finally dried his face and turned to face Vincent. There was obvious embarrassment in his expression as he started to speak. "I don't want to be alone tonight."

Vincent couldn't help but smile. "Are you asking to sleep in bed with Daddy?"

Jaras dropped his gaze to the floor but didn't smile. He was far from finding his father's comment humorous, and in fact was ready to take up the offer. "Can I?"

Vincent's smile lessened a little but remained. "Sure."


	114. Sleep

Guilt's Cost: Part CIV

Sleep

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

It was just a little after one in the morning when the baby awoke for the second time in the night, thus signaling Cid to get up for his turn at tending the child. He reluctantly pulled himself out of the warm bed and away from Tifa's comforting embrace. Down the darkened hall he shuffled reaching the nursery. Cid flipped on the light and squinted in pain as he let his eyes adjust. He scooped up his son and made his way out to the kitchen. Not knowing how else to go about it, he placed the bundled and crying infant onto the counter next to where he was going to prepare the bottle.

The baby's crying intensified as he was removed from his father's hold and the shrill sound was by far more abrasive to Cid's ears now than it had been during the day. He took a bottle from the shelf and dumped a scoop of formula into it. When he had the tap running hot he filled the bottle with water. Just as he started to pick up the bottle's top, the infant let out a particularly piercing screech. Cid, in his high strung state jumped and promptly dropped the bottle to the ground. Formula splashed everywhere and Cid lost it. "God damned mother fucking bottle!"

Tifa flew from the bedroom upon hearing Cid's cursing. She found him standing with his arms at his sides staring down at the mess before him. The baby was still laying on the counter crying. She made her way over and picked up the bottle from the floor. "It's okay, Cid."

"Fuck this, Tifa!" Cid threw his hands up into the air. "I can't fucking do this! What kind of life is this kid gonna have with just me?"

Tifa quickly realized that the man's frustration went far beyond just a spilled bottle. "Cid, you'll do fine. You're just really tired and stressed right now."

"You're God damned right I am." Cid turned slightly, catching sight of his wriggling and screaming baby. Upon seeing the infant lying there lonely and defenseless something within Cid snapped. Tears at once came to his eyes and he scooped up the child, holding him closely. The infant's cries quickly began to subside. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, little guy."

Seeing that Cid was getting a grip, Tifa took the bottle and rinsed it in the sink before again filling it with formula. Once it was ready she handed it to Cid, who went over to the kitchen table and sat. As he began to feed the infant, his spent nerves relaxed a little and his blood pressure returned to normal.

Tifa in the meanwhile pulled some dishtowels from a drawer and got to the task of cleaning up the mess. After all the formula was blotted up she carried the soiled towels to the laundry room and dumped them on top of the washer. That done, she returned to Cid's side.

"Are you okay?" Tifa asked, placing a hand upon his shoulder.

Cid looked up at her with exhausted eyes. "Yeah, why don't you go back to bed?"

"Are you sure?" Tifa bent down a little as to get a better look at the precious baby.

"Yeah, I think so." With Tifa this close Cid couldn't help but kiss her sweetly upon the lips. 

She smiled back at him, a little surprised by what he had just done. "Cid Highwind, did you just kiss me?"

He laughed, slightly embarrassed. "I guess I did."

Tifa giggled and placed her hands onto her hips. "I am a married woman, if you'll recall."

"Well hell, Tifa." Cid's grin widened. He was actually enjoying himself for the first time since that morning. "Like I said before, you belong to Vincent _and _me. Besides, it's not like I was trying to give you a tonsil exam like Jaras."

Tifa laughed aloud and whacked Cid in the shoulder. "You're terrible."

"So you keep saying." Cid turned his attention back to his son. "Now go back to bed, woman."

"Okay, don't get pissy." Tifa gave him a wink before she skipped back off to bed.

Cid sighed deeply and felt his tiredness return as he continued to watch his son take the bottle. How long exactly it took for the baby to finish, Cid didn't know, as he dozed on and off during the feeding. Once the baby was done, he got up and placed the bottle into the sink and went back to the nursery to change the baby's diaper after a quick burping.

He quickly got the infant cleaned and changed. As he picked the baby back up from the changing table, Cid found himself simply unable to place the child back down into the cold crib. He raised his eyebrows and grinned faintly. "Do you want to sleep with Daddy?"

The baby was already growing drowsy again and made the sweetest sound that Cid had ever heard in his life.

Cid's grin widened. "I'll take that as a yes."

With the child in his arms he crept back into the bedroom, hoping not to wake Tifa if she had managed to get back to sleep. He slid beneath the sheets and rested the infant on his chest, pulling up the blanket enough to keep the baby covered and warm.

Tifa wasn't asleep and she laid in silence, watching the spectacle unable to keep herself from smiling. Watching Cid being so gentle was deeply touching and she eventually crept back over to his side and kissed him on the cheek. "You are a great father."

Cid was embarrassed but at the same time too tired to care. "Thanks."

***

Back on the airship Vincent and Jaras had turned in as well. They had gone back into Vincent's room and were sharing the tiny bed. Jaras had continued to tremble from his recollection earlier and not knowing what else to do, Vincent had reached over and taken his son's hand in his own. Jaras, not accustomed to human contact was warmed by this enough to relax. After a while the both of them managed to fall off to sleep.

Vincent slept with a smile upon his lips. The next day he was going to be reunited with Tifa and his dreams were filled with visions of the event. Maybe they had only been separated for a short time but to him it had seemed like years. He knew that the next day would pass torturously slow as he waited for the airship to reach Rocket.


	115. Arrival

Guilt's Cost: Part CXV

Arrival

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

During the early afternoon Cid was sitting on the couch when suddenly a familiar sound caught his attention. He picked up the remote and muted the television. After closing his eyes he cocked his head in concentration. Upon recognizing the noise, Cid shot to his feet startling Tifa who had been sitting next to him.

"What's going on?" She asked, setting the bottle she had been offering the baby down onto the coffee table.

He looked down at her. "It's the Highwind."

Tifa's face contorted in confusion. "But Shin Ra confiscated that ship from you after Meteor!"

"I know, but I can't forget the sound of that God damned ship." Cid retorted while putting his hands on his hips.

It was then that Tifa had her own realization. "Cid, take the baby."

"Why?" He turned back to face her.

"Take the baby!" Tifa got to her feet, holding the infant out to him. "That's not the Highwind, it's Tseng's ship! It's identical to the Highwind!"

Cid accepted his son; not having an opportunity to argue further as Tifa flew out the back door to the house. He sighed and slowly followed after her.

Tifa went as fast as she could manage toward the source of the sound. Once clear of the town's buildings, she saw the airship hovering just over the ground in a vacant field. As she grew closer she could make out Jaras standing on the ground next to a door on the lower hull of the craft. Then another man emerged and she at first assumed it to be Tseng but after going just a few paces forward a scream escaped her. "Vincent!"

He turned in the direction of her cry to see Tifa running toward him. His heart sped up and he outstretched his arms desperately waiting for her to reach him. Vincent caught his breath as he watched her approach, feeling as though he would die of happiness the second she got to him.

Tifa finally reached him and she threw herself into his arms. He easily lifted her up from the ground and held her to him. The world around them seemed to disappear as their lips met in the most passionate of kisses. All of Vincent's anxiety of being separated from Tifa dissolved as he invaded her mouth. He bent forward so he could set her upon the ground then bringing his hands up to frame her face as their lips continued to linger together. She in turn took both of her hands and grabbed at the collar of his shirt, keeping him pulled forward not wanting the kiss to ever end.

Several minutes passed and Vincent finally broke it off. "I hope you don't mind me just showing up like this."

Tears of happiness streamed down Tifa's cheeks. "Oh God, Vincent! You're walking! I can't believe you're walking!"

He smiled down at her while wiping away some of her tears. "Porter and Quigley were able to fix me."

She fell back into his arms and placed her cheek against his chest while closing her eyes. "I can't believe you're here… Oh God I'm so happy! I love you."

"I love you, too." Vincent replied before kissing the top of her head. "Once they had me working again, I couldn't bear the thought of being away from you anymore."

She listened to his heart racing within, realizing that hers was presently going just as fast. Forcing herself to take deep breaths, his familiar scent warmed her from within. Somehow she felt that if she let him go this would all be a dream and he would vanish. Tifa reveled in the sensation of him beginning to stroke her hair as he so often did. She ran her hands up his chest and placed them onto his shoulders. Slowly she turned her face up to look up into his crimson eyes. She was somewhat surprised to realize that he too was crying. Tifa brushed away some of his tears with her thumb. "Don't cry, Vincent."

"I'm just so happy to be with you." Vincent blushed slightly from his admittal. His lips produced a smile. "There was a part of me that was afraid…"

She cocked her head, seeing the pain within him. "Afraid of what?"

Vincent turned his gaze away from her for a moment. "That you wouldn't want me to touch you anymore…"

Tifa knitted her brows and her lips quivered. "Vincent, having you hold me again is all I have wanted since we got out of the lab. I don't care what has been done to you, I still love you and need you."

Her reassurance caused a new wave of tears to fall from his eyes. "Tifa, I love you so much."

After several more minutes of lingering in each other's arms, they finally stepped back from one another but kept their hands connected for a few seconds longer. Vincent smiled at her still. "Say hi to Jaras."

Tifa turned and extended her arms toward him. "Hey Jaras."

Jaras gave her a smile and embraced her briefly but not long enough to get himself aroused. "Hi."

Cid finally arrived on the scene with his son in his arms. "What the fuck is this?"

Vincent looked over at Cid. "I just thought we'd come by to give you a hand."

Cid narrowed his eyes. "I thought you couldn't move."

Tifa turned to Cid. "The Turk and Quigley fixed him!"

"Oh… well I guess I'm happy to hear that." He seemed to take this answer at face value. Truth be told, inside Cid was more than a little disappointed knowing that with Vincent here he would no longer have Tifa's undivided attention. But after all, Vincent was married to her and he wasn't.


	116. Acceptance

Guilt's Cost: Part CXVI

Acceptance

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

They all headed back to Cid's house and entered. Cid handed the baby back off to Tifa as she sat on the couch next to Vincent before going into the kitchen and retrieving beers for each of them. Vincent accepted his just out of courtesy. He wasn't in the mood for drinking but then again he rarely was anymore. Those days, for him he hoped were over.

Cid landed in a chair and stared on at his two new visitors. Jaras was sitting on the floor near the television, slowly nursing the bottle Cid had given him. The old pilot couldn't help but smile at the sight. Never would he have imagined that Sephiroth would be sitting in his house drinking.

Vincent just gazed at Tifa next to him, observing her gentle actions with the baby. The tiny infant seemed perfectly at ease within her arms and it was all too clear that motherhood would be something that suited her well. This hurt him slightly on some level as he was all too aware that a child was something that he just couldn't give her.

Cid cleared his throat and spoke, needing to break the silence that had fallen over them. "So, how the hell is old Tseng doing?"

Even though he knew that it was just he way Cid said things, hearing his younger brother referred to as old caused something within Vincent to bristle. His tone of response was a little too sharp and gave it away. "He's just _fine._"

Cid cocked an eyebrow. "You having a bad day or something?"

Vincent looked up from Tifa and over at Cid. "No."

"You're lying." Cid smiled to himself. Riling Vincent was still proving to be a fun pass time.

Vincent rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Tifa. "How are you?"

Rocking the baby in her arms gently, she looked up into his crimson eyes. "Fine, but a lot better now that you're here."

Hearing this blatant mush, Cid smacked himself in the forehead. "You two need to get a room. I'd appreciate it if you didn't carry out that disgusting lovey dovey crap in front of my boy."

In unison, Tifa and Vincent looked over at Cid, clearly not amused. Jaras's eyes grew wide as he sensed the tension in the room growing.

Tifa turned her gaze from Cid to Vincent then back again. "What's going on with you two?"

The men just continued to stare at one another. Both of them harboring some unknown hostility for each other again. 

Tifa realized what was going on and flushed red. She got up from the couch and handed Cid his son. After, she turned back to Vincent and held out a hand to him. "I think you and I need to go have a talk."

Vincent took her hand and rose from the couch. He flashed one look back at Cid as he found himself pulled from the room by his wife.

Tifa led him out of the house and into the yard. She stopped and faced him. "What is the matter?"

Vincent dropped his gaze, embarrassed at the truth. "Nothing."

"Don't lie to me, Vincent." Tifa crossed her arms over her chest and stomped a foot into the dirt. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

His eyes went wide for a moment before getting himself under control again. "Me? Jealous of Cid?"

"Yeah." Tifa retorted, bending down slightly to force him to look her in the eye. "Is that it?"

Vincent tensed his jaw and remained silent.

"Oh god, Vincent!" Tifa let her hands fall back to her sides. "Honestly!"

"Did you catch the look he gave me when he saw it was me standing there with you?" He responded defensively.

"I was too busy being excited about you being here to notice what Cid was or wasn't doing." She stated honestly.

He sighed. "You do know that Cid has a thing for you, right?"

"What?!" Tifa was almost amused by his claim through her anger. "Come on, Vincent!"

"I'm serious." He turned his gaze up to the sky. "He has for a long time. I know you're just friends Tifa, but I'm telling you that he is upset that I am here now. He was happier having you all to himself."

"God, Vincent!" She scoffed. "The man's _wife_ just died yesterday, give me a break."

"Tifa, don't get mad." He looked back into her eyes. "I know that, but the truth is the truth. Maybe he doesn't even want to admit it to himself, but he likes you way beyond friend."

"And so what if he does?" Tifa narrowed her eyes, but the memory of Cid sneaking in a kiss the night before burned into her mind. "You don't trust me?"

"Of course I do, Tifa." He lowered his voice. "But it's starting to look to me that I'm having to compete with the entire male population of the planet for you."

Tifa knitted her brow. "What does that mean?"

"I know how Jaras feels. He and I talked about it on the way here." Vincent hung his head again. "What is it about me that is so much more special that all of these other men?"

"The fact that you are Vincent Valentine." She took a step closer to him, knowing that he was allowing himself to drown in his own self doubt again. "The fact that you are my husband."

"But you left me to come here…" he whispered.

"Vincent, I was ordered by your brother to come here, plus you know as well as I do that Cid needed me." Tifa reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but it seemed like even Tseng almost had a moment with you right before you left." A warmth ran through his body at the feeling of her hand upon him.

"Vincent, don't you ever worry about me leaving you, please." She took her other hand and grasped one of his. "What is this really all about?"

Vincent felt a hot flash of color come to his face. "Tifa, I don't know how happy you are going to be with me anymore…"

She looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm not…" Vincent dropped his gaze away again. "I'm not like I was anymore… I can't do things…"

Tifa took him fully into her arms and rested her head against his chest. "Vincent, that doesn't matter to me."

"Hojo took everything…" Vincent's voice was choked off by the pressure building in his throat.

"Vincent, I know." Tifa held him tightly, wanting to reassure him. "I saw and I know, but I don't care! I wish you could believe that!"

He was unable to say anything and shook slightly within her embrace. After a long time, all he managed was one tortured sentence. "I'm sixty three years old and castrated…"

Tifa looked up into his face. "Vincent, look at me."

His tear filled eyes slowly obeyed and he stared down at her. "What?"

"I love you, and either you accept that or you don't." Tifa said flatly. 

Vincent swallowed hard, needing to be able to answer her. She wouldn't lie to him and he knew it. "I do."

She smiled. "Then act like it, okay?"

Vincent closed his eyes and bent slightly until his lips met hers.


	117. The Second Lab

Guilt's Cost: Part CXVII

The Second Lab

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Due to some health problems, my productivity has suffered. The story will get finished though, I promise. I just might not be real fast about it. Thanks.

Tseng was walking through the base with a mission. It was time for him to have a serious talk with the Turk to come up with some sort of plan to finish Hojo off once and for all. He had been searching for some time when he finally came upon Porter strolling with Rayna and D about the base's corridors. This was actually required exercise for Porter ordered by the physical therapist. His crutches had been discarded that morning and with the help of Rayna and a cane he was doing his best.

Porter saw Tseng and at once recognized the look of seriousness. "Sir?"

"Hello Porter, Rayna." Tseng came to a stop before them. "I was wondering if I could have a meeting with you, Porter, in the conference room."

He glanced over at Rayna briefly before turning back to Tseng. "Certainly."

They made their way to the conference room and Rayna departed with D to leave the men in peace. Tseng helped Porter to a chair and then took up his place at the head of the table. There was no one else present.

Tseng leaned forward on his elbows. "Tell me about the second Midgar lab."

Porter looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, like I said before it's in the old reactor six up on the plate. Its official name is D Two."

"D Two?" Tseng repeated questioningly.

"Yeah, all lab facilities have a letter coded name. For instance, New Neiblehim is B and Junon is A. So, the Midgar lab is D One, and the secret lab is D Two."

How this little piece of information had evaded ASRIO's knowing was slightly unnerving to Tseng. In his day with Shin Ra, the lab facilities had simply been referred to by their location name. "I see."

"Well, it's just higher level record keeping crap really. No one else calls the labs by those letters anyway." Porter was struggling to find some comfortable position in his seat but his hip was giving him trouble.

"How heavily guarded is it?" Tseng asked.

"Not very." Porter smiled to himself. "Frankly, no one knows about it so Hojo has never been too worried. There are few people that are even allowed to work there. He has maybe a whole four people that assist him and I'm sure he has a Turk guard with him too but that would be about it. Now, he has mentioned to me in the past that he has some automated defenses within the complex but as to their nature I really have no idea."

"I'm sure it's something terribly unpleasant." Tseng speculated.

"Undoubtedly." Porter laughed quietly. "I don't think Hojo has ever done anything nice when you get right down to it."

The thought of his niece came up and Tseng knitted his brow. "Not on purpose anyway."

Porter just nodded.

After a short silence, Tseng asked another question. "So how does one get up to the plate and lab these days?"

"The old train tunnels within the column are still there, and have been set up with small transport trams to carry workers up and back. There are a lot of people that work on the plate with the solar panels and power plant up there so they run the shuttles pretty much around the clock but security is tight." Porter tapped on the table's surface. "So that might not be the best way to go."

"Other ideas?" Tseng inquired.

"There are stair passages within the pillar but it is a long climb." Porter knew he at least would never make such a trip in his current condition. "At least an hour and a half to get up there. I was unfortunate enough to have to make that climb once when there was a fire in the train tunnels. I can't say I enjoyed it. Of course, being in a darkened stairway with Hojo had its charms I assure you."

Tseng outright laughed. "I suppose it would. But there seems to be some concerns with getting up there."

Porter shrugged. "You do have a helicopter."

Tseng raised his eyebrows. "True, but wouldn't they notice?"

"Ah, I don't know." Porter looked thoughtful. "Executives fly up there and back all the time. And quite frankly, that plate is so big they wouldn't even notice a chopper dropping off somewhere on one of the less uses sections. A lot of that plate isn't used at all and that would be a possible insertion sight."

"Which sectors?" Tseng leaned back in his seat, ideas beginning to formulate.

"Three is pretty much just an abandoned mess." Porter sighed. "They never cleaned that sector of the plate up after Meteor as it was the most heavily damaged portion."

"I see." Tseng nodded in thought.

"You could easily drop off there, and if done at night I seriously doubt anyone would notice. From there it's just a matter of getting into the utility passages just under the plate's surface and making your way to the right reactor. I've spent plenty of time exploring some of those utility passages while stuck up there for weeks on end with Hojo. You can get just about anywhere on the plate through them." Porter raised his eyebrows at the memory of winding through the dark tunnels alone. He had always had a curious streak and those passages had just begged for him to check them out. Now he was very glad that he had.

"So I assume you're telling me that you need to go with us on this mission due to your familiarity with the layout?" Tseng knew a subtle self-invitation when he heard one.

"Well of course I'm going." Porter crossed his arms over his chest. "There is no way I wouldn't go. You need me and I need to make sure that son of a bitch dies."

Tseng admired Porter's resolve. "Fair enough, but do you think you'll be physically up to it?"

"Well, what is our time frame?" Porter asked.

"Soon." Tseng dropped his gaze to the tabletop. "I want to give Tifa and Vincent some more time in Rocket but we can't wait too long. I don't want to give Hojo the chance to get too far on the Neo-Jenova Project."

"Well, don't you worry about me, I'll be perfectly fine when the time comes." Porter rose up from his chair, no longer able to bear sitting.

Tseng also rose, having gotten the information he needed for the time being. He made his way over to the Turk and extended his hand. "Thank you."

Porter accepted the handshake and smiled. "No, thank you. I have a huge interest in seeing an end to Hojo myself."


	118. Reassurance

Guilt's Cost: Part CXVIII

Reassurance

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The rest of the morning passed without incident. Vincent was quiet for the most part and did his best to simply ignore Cid. Jaras was just Jaras and came to curl up in a corner with yet another of his books. The baby was fussier than he had been the day before but Cid was doing well to keep it together. Tifa helped him out with the infant when she could, and at one point they found themselves alone in the nursery together as Cid prepared to put his boy down for a nap.

What Vincent had said to Tifa earlier was weighing heavily on her mind and she couldn't keep herself from asking. "Cid, are you angry that Vincent is here?"

He looked almost shocked at her question. "I'm not angry."

"Then what is it?" Tifa crossed her arms, coming off a little more defensive than she had intended. "Why are you being so rude to Vincent?"

Her point blank manner stunned him into a moment of silence. "Tifa, this has just all been a little God damned stressful, okay?" Cid placed the baby into the crib. "Yeah, I'm not gonna lie to you, I did like having you all to myself and now that he's here, Sue's going to be the center of attention."

She almost laughed. "Don't call him that!"

Cid narrowed his eyes and placed his hands onto his hips. She was covering something and he knew it. "What did you and Sunshine talk about earlier?"

Tifa blushed in the realization that she couldn't lie to him. "Vincent said that he thinks you _like_ me."

"Oh my God." Cid openly smiled. "Tifa, let me make this real fucking clear, okay?"

She just nodded.

"I do like you but not in any sort of 'strip you down and throw you over the kitchen table' way, understand? So you tell Sue not to worry." Cid let his hands fall back to his sides.

Tifa grinned. "All right. That's sort of what I figured but after Vincent said that this morning and seeing the way you've been acting I just kind of wondered."

Cid came over and placed an arm around her shoulders. "Don't you think that if I had some kind of crush on you that I would have tried something during all those times we were in bed together?"

She giggled aloud. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Good." Cid gave her a brief kiss on the cheek. "Now, get out there with your oh so cheerful husband before he gets anymore ideas."

"Okay." Tifa bounded out of the room relieved that Cid had been willing to talk to her. 

She immediately sought out Vincent who was standing in the kitchen looking blankly into the refrigerator. Tifa slid her arms around his waist and rested her cheek on his back. "Hey."

He closed the door to the fridge and turned in her embrace. Vincent stared down into her eyes seeing the emotion within. "What's going on?"

"I just spoke with Cid." Tifa reached up and touched the side of Vincent's face. "He says your wrong and that he doesn't like me in that way."

Vincent knitted his brows. "You told him what I said?"

"Yeah." She could pick up on the annoyance within him but she continued to smile anyway. "He is my best friend and I am happy to report nothing more."

Vincent wondered about the truthfulness of what Cid would have told her but decided to be a bigger man than that. "Well I suppose that I am glad to hear that then."

Tifa kissed him. "I love you, you know that?"

He scoffed. "Yeah, I do."

Jaras picked that moment to walk into the kitchen having pulled himself away from his novel for the time being. He stared at Tifa and Vincent realizing that he had stumbled in at an awkward moment. "Uh, hi guys."

They both smiled at him in response and Tifa took a step away from Vincent. "Hey."

"Jaras, what are you up to?" Vincent asked, seeing that there was something pressing on his son.

Jaras motioned with his hands slightly and sighed. "I just wanted to ask how long we're going to stay here?"

"We just got here this morning." Vincent said, losing his smile.

"I know and I don't expect us to go today, but I was just wondering." Jaras dropped his gaze to the floor. 

Vincent looked at Tifa for a moment, but not finding any answers there he took it upon himself to decide. "How about we go back in two days?"

"Okay." Jaras started to turn away.

Vincent could sense there was more on Jaras' mind than what he had let on. "Wait, why are you so curious?"

He looked back over his shoulder at his father. "I'm anxious to find out what Tseng has planned for Hojo. I know we need to get on him soon before he gets too far with the Neo-Jenova Project. I can't bear the thought of someone else having to live like I did."

"In two days." Vincent repeated, not knowing how else to respond to what Jaras had just said. Somehow the thought that revenge was on Jaras' mind was very disconcerting to him and he needed to escape the thought. 

Jaras took advantage of the silence that had descended and fled the room heading back to his place in the den where he had spent the day reading.

Tifa and Vincent found themselves alone again and just stared at one another. They both felt something terribly uncomfortable within and neither of them wished to address the inevitable. Jaras was changing, maybe slowly but it was happening.


	119. Flashback

Guilt's Cost: Part CXIX

Flashback

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

When night fell, Vincent decided to take everyone out for dinner. He knew that next to Tifa cooking that this was the only way they were going to get anything to eat and he didn't want his wife to have to go to the trouble. The group of them walked toting the baby along in a carrier to a nearby diner. They were given a table near a window and all sat in silence as they examined the menu.

Cid sat at the end of the table with the baby sleeping in the carrier on the ground at his side. Tifa and Vincent were on the right side of the table together and Jaras took up the other.

The pilot had been making an intentional effort to be more pleasant to his guests after Tifa's talk with him earlier. Truth be told, he had been making a good show of it too and everyone had noticed. Vincent had remained a little embarrassed from Tifa having told Cid how he had felt and was even more reserved than normal. That was another reason he had agreed to take them out tonight, he needed to break up the tension he was feeling in the house.

They ordered and sat talking of past times. The subject specifically was of events that had taken place in Junon so long before. As light as they tried to keep the discussion, it was still causing Jaras some distress as he felt more than a little left out. He sat just sipping at his glass of water in silence feeling slightly sick to his stomach. Eventually his discomfort got bad enough that he excused himself from the table and made his way to the bathroom.

Jaras entered the bathroom and was relieved to see that it was completely vacated. He flipped the lock on the door ensuring that he would remain alone. Jaras went to the sink and leaned upon it, feeling a cold sweat break across his skin. He ran the water in the sink and brought some of it up to his face. After, he reached over to the side and pulled a paper towel from the dispenser and dried. It was then that he looked up at his ashen image in the mirror. Jaras was a little shocked at his own appearance and felt another wave of nausea hit him and he sank to his knees.

Back at the table, Vincent could feel that something was wrong and after a few moments he too left the table in an effort to go check on his son. When he got to the bathroom he found the door locked and knowing that Jaras was inside, he started to grow more nervous. Vincent ran to the nearest employee he could find and explained that the door was locked in an attempt to find someone with a key.

Jaras was now laying on the floor, another full-blown flashback taking over his mind. He was standing before some huge machine with some strange creature wired into it. The feminine face of the beast stared back at him with one burning red eye. _Jenova, _he thought repeatedly upon recognizing the creature before him. In slow motion, he watched as his arms outstretched and he pulled Jenova's body from the monstrosity of technology that surrounded it.

After starting to get frantic, Vincent finally managed to get a key to the bathroom from a waitress. He unlocked the door to the bathroom and threw it open. Jaras was lying on the floor, wild eyed and ranting. 

Vincent dropped to his knees and cradled his son in his arms. "Jaras, come on!"

Still too mired in his memory, Jaras screamed. "How can this _thing _be my mother!"

"Lucretia was your mother!" Vincent knew at once what Jaras was reliving and was worried, knowing that this was one of the main events that lead to Sephiroth's madness.

Jaras kicked out and struggled weakly to free himself from Vincent's hold. "I can't live like this! I can't live like this!"

"Jaras!" Vincent was profoundly upset now and shook his son violently. "Come on! Snap out of it!"

Cid, still at the table with Tifa was now concerned at the fact that two of their dinner mates had gone missing for so long. He sighed and looked at Tifa. "Watch the kid for a minute, I'm gonna go see what's going on."

Tifa was more than a little relieved to hear Cid volunteer. "Okay, go ahead."

Cid rose from the table and walked toward the bathrooms. He reached the men's room and opened the door finding Vincent cradling Jaras on the floor. "What the fuck is going on?"

Vincent looked up at Cid with fear filled eyes. "Jaras is having a flashback, we have to get him out of here."

"Aw shit." Cid puffed. "Let me go tell Tifa what's up real quick."

Vincent just nodded at Cid as he retreated from view, continuing to rock Jaras in his arms.

Cid hurried back out to the table and found Tifa. "Come on, we got to go."

She could see the worry in his expression. "What's going on?"

"Jaras is having some sort of freak out I guess." Cid replied, picking up his son's carrier from the floor.

Vincent was finding it impossible to get through to his son and was getting more frantic. "Jaras, please come back!"

"I'm not Jaras!" His struggles began anew within Vincent's arms. "Let me go!"

Cid and Tifa arrived on the scene, and the pilot handed his son over to Tifa so he could help Vincent with Jaras.

Together, Cid and Vincent managed to hoist Jaras up from the floor and basically pulled him out of the restaurant with Tifa following them. Once out into the cold night air, Jaras seemed to calm a little and his struggling subsided. They made their way to a small grass covered area and laid Jaras back down. 

Vincent stared down into his eyes, finding the first hint of consciousness within. "Jaras? Are you there?"

He managed to nod weakly as the terrible images from his past again began to fade. The fact of who and where he was again coming to the surface. "I saw Jenova."

"I know." Vincent stroked his son's hair in an unconscious effort to comfort him. "But you're okay now?"

"Yeah." Jaras sat up slowly, his nerves now completely shot from the experience.

Cid turned to Tifa. "What the Hell was all that?"

"He's having flashbacks." Tifa frowned in her sympathy for Jaras. "Ever since Vincent and I were taken out of Midgar he's been having them."

"So he's starting to go Sephiroth on us, is that what you're saying?" Cid crossed his arms after throwing a piece of gum in his mouth.

"He's still Jaras." Tifa knitted her brows in concern. "But these memories are really hard on him."

"Yeah, I'd guess so." Cid scowled as he turned his gaze toward Vincent and Jaras. "Poor bastard."


	120. Take Out

Guilt's Cost: Part CXX

Take Out

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Cid continued to stand over Jaras and Vincent with his arms crossed over his chest. Once he realized that Jaras was in fact going to be all right, he mumbled something to Tifa and then walked off back towards the diner. If nothing else, Cid was hungry and by God he was going to get his dinner. He made his way back to the table they had been at just as the waitress was bringing their meals. To her annoyance, Cid ordered her to put the food into take out boxes, which she did after flashing him a slightly unhappy expression.

Once the food was boxed, Cid went to the front and paid which also irritated him, as Vincent was the one supposedly covering this. He knew he would have to be reimbursed before Vincent skipped town. This done and with the boxed dinners in hand, Cid went back out to find everyone still waiting where he had last seen them. 

Tifa hurried to Cid's side upon his return. "You went back for the food?"

"Well of course I did." Cid scoffed, inspecting his son still under Tifa's supervision. "I wasn't going to waste it. Freak out or no, I was hungry."

She offered him a small laugh that he seemed to completely ignore.

Cid was more than ready to be done with this whole day and he took his son from Tifa, handed her the food and started to walk home. He figured that soon enough the others would follow. He just wanted to get home and eat.

Vincent helped Jaras up and they started to obediently follow the pilot with Tifa at their side. Jaras was feeling a little more normal, but the damage had been done. This flashback had been more than the others; with it were left a barrage of memories and if he had dared to explore his own mind at the moment, he would have found himself quite capable of remembering most of the details of his life as Sephiroth.

Vincent could feel the change within his son, and kept very near to him as they walked. Although he kept his left arm interlaced with Jaras' as physical support to his weakened son, it was more for the sheer comfort of doing so. Vincent was terrified that these memories were somehow going to take his son from him and he wanted to prevent it anyway he knew how. But what could he do?

Tifa shuffled along in silence too shaken up by what had happened to speak. She too could feel Jaras' pain as well as Vincent's. She was emotionally spent from all that had happened and wanted little more at this point than to crawl into bed and sleep.

It wasn't long before they got to the house. Cid at once landed at the kitchen table after taking the food back from Tifa. His son was still in the carrier and placed next to Cid's seat. He opened one box after another until he came upon his own dinner. The rest of them also sat and found their meals. They ate without much talk. Jaras made a good show of eating despite the fact that he really didn't feel like it but he knew that by doing so he would at least relieve some of Vincent's worry over him.

When the food was gone, Cid got up from the table and took his son into the living room for one last bottle before bed. Somehow the rest of them knew that Cid wanted to be alone for the time being and they remained in the kitchen. Not knowing what else to discuss, Jaras asked about their sleeping arrangements. 

Tifa was of course the expert on the house at the moment and she nodded. "Well, I guess Vincent and I can take the guest room and you can stay out on the couch, it folds out."

Vincent cocked an eyebrow at his wife. "I think we should let Jaras have the bed, in light of all that he has been through today."

"No," Jaras raised a hand in protest. "The couch will be fine. You two need some time alone since you really haven't been together since getting out of the lab. Please don't worry about me, I'm fine now, really."

The two of them just stared at Jaras, knowing that he was hiding something painful within. They both wished he would talk about it but knew he wouldn't. They were also aware that pushing him to discuss what he was feeling would be fruitless so they just responded with a joint nod.

After sometime, Cid strolled back through with his son. "I'm gonna change the kid and then I'm going to bed. See you guys in the morning."

They exchanged goodnights and rose from the table. Jaras went out into the den and pulled out the couch, not really certain that the bed within was going to be more comfortable than the couch proper.

Tifa and Vincent walked back to the guestroom and shut the door. They stood looking at each other in an awkward silence until Vincent finally made his way to Tifa and placed his arms around her.

She accepted his embrace and just stood enjoying it for a moment. After a few moments, she stepped back from him and pulled off her blouse.

Vincent just stared on as she continued to strip before him. Why she was doing this he did not know. There was nothing he could do now and it was making him more than a little uncomfortable.

Tifa caught the expression on his face as she stood before him in nothing more than her underwear. "Vincent?"

He looked away and felt heat come to his face. "Yeah?"

She came closer to him. "What's wrong?"

"You know I can't do anything…" He continued to keep his gaze averted from his beautiful wife.

Tifa reached out and placed a hand beneath his chin, forcing him to look at her. "So what, that means you'll never want to see me naked again?"

"No, it's not that." His voice grew hushed. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do now."

"Get undressed, get into bed, hold me, and then fall asleep." Tifa smiled. "Same plan as usual."

Vincent felt the color in his cheeks deepen. "If you're sure."

"Oh my God, Vincent!" She feigned anger. "We've already been through this. Now get undressed and get into bed before I really get mad."

He couldn't help but smile at the act she was putting on. "Okay, don't go off."

Tifa finished undressing and then sat on the edge of the bed as Vincent started to shed his clothing. There was pity in her heart for his physical state but fortunately she had spent enough time looking at him during his conversance that she had grown accustomed to his appearance.

Once stripped, Vincent hung his head and flipped off the light. He walked over to the left side of the bed and slipped between the sheets, without giving Tifa much acknowledgement at all.

A little disappointed with his sudden introverted state, Tifa went to her side of the bed and also climbed beneath the sheets. She slid to Vincent's side and placed an arm over his chest. "I love you."

He turned his head and looked into her eyes in the darkness and smiled slightly. "I love you, too."

Vincent then just stared up into the darkness, his mind wandering blindly. Tifa clung to his side tightly, despite the chill his artificial body gave her. In a way, they were both at a loss for what to do. Luckily it wasn't long before sleep overtook them both.


	121. Comfort

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXI

Comfort

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent awoke before Tifa and quietly got up from the bed and dressed. He left the room and walked the house, discovering that it was five thirty in the morning. Cid was sitting at the kitchen table with his son in his arms, offering him a bottle. The pilot barely took notice as Vincent pulled out a chair from the table and sat.

"He's an early riser, huh?" Vincent sighed in a halfhearted attempt at levity.

Cid looked up from his task and cocked an eyebrow. "Why on God's green Earth are you up?"

Vincent's smile shattered and he slumped forward in the chair a little. "Couldn't sleep anymore."

"You got Tifa back there in bed and you left?" Cid almost smiled. "There's a huge surprise."

Vincent suddenly felt terribly uncomfortable and try as he might it was showing. He writhed slightly in his seat, trying to look away.

"What's that about?" Cid didn't miss a thing.

His current physical state was not something he wished to discuss with Cid of all people. "Nothing, never mind."

"Uh huh, I don't think so." Cid set the now empty bottle onto the table and hoisted his son up to his shoulder for a burping. "What's going on?"

Vincent locked gazes with Cid and knitted his brow. "I don't want to discuss this with you."

"Why not?" Cid continued to pat his son on the back. "I think I'm just about the closest thing to a male friend you've got, am I right?"

The honesty of Cid's statement made Vincent almost want to laugh. "Maybe you are, but still it is not something I'm comfortable talking about."

"Well Hell, Sue." Cid smirked. "With as much fucking girl talk Tifa's forced me into lately, I almost can't help myself but want to help you. But I ain't extending my concern for you for its sake alone. I think if I can help Tifa by helping you then I owe it to her. She's been a real good god damned friend to me, I want you to know that."

Vincent was taken aback by the sincerity in Cid's words and almost found it frighteningly out of character. "Thanks, I think."

The baby finally did what Cid was waiting for and he lowered him from his shoulder and back into his arms. "Well it's the truth. I know you got the wrong idea about how I feel for her and I want you to know that's not the way it is. Tifa, for whatever ungodly reason is nice to me and very caring and I really appreciate it but my feelings for her don't go beyond very deep friendship. That's all and you can believe me when I say that. I would never do anything to compromise what she and you have."

This continued line of talk left Vincent in nothing short of shock. "Okay, thank you."

Cid shrugged. "Aw Hell, I just don't want you worried over some stupid shit. So now it's your turn. What's going on with you?"

Vincent swallowed hard and hung his head. "I guess you can see that Hojo took my right arm and rebuilt my left one."

"Yeah, so I know that isn't enough to want you to run from bed." Cid rocked his son gently.

"Well, no you're right." Vincent sighed and steeled himself. "I'm all artificial from the chest down. Just a machine."

Cid narrowed his eyes in thought. He was fairly certain what Vincent meant but needed to make it absolutely clear. "So you're saying you can't, uh, do your husbandly duties?"

"Yeah." Vincent's shame was tangible.

Cid raised his eyebrows as his pity for Vincent took on a whole new meaning. "God damned guy, I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He slumped even further into his chair.

"You know, Sue," Cid looked down to notice that his son had drifted back off to sleep. "I don't think Tifa cares."

Vincent just looked up at him.

"If she did, I'm sure she would have said something or at least given some hint to me over the last few days and she hasn't." Cid was becoming proud at how well he was being able to pull off this 'emotional' talk. "That girl is screwed up and loves you, I can't figure out why but she does. You're gonna have to learn to live with that someday you know."

Vincent broke into a smile as Cid's true nature was finally creeping out. "Thanks."

Cid carefully got up from the table trying not to disturb the sleeping baby in his hold. "No problem. I'm gonna see if the kid will sleep just a little longer. I've been up with him a lot all night and I'm still wiped. See you in a bit."

He watched as Cid retreated back to his own room and thought about what he had said. After several moments, Vincent too rose from the table and walked silently out to the family room to check on his own son. 

To Vincent's surprise, Jaras was awake and sitting on the refolded couch reading a book in the dim light of a single lamp. Vincent made his way over to him and sat.

Jaras smiled and pulled off his reading glasses. "Hello."

"Couldn't sleep either?" Vincent asked.

He laughed slightly to himself. "I've been having some rather bad dreams if you can imagine and after the baby started crying this last time, I decided just to get up and read for a while."

"Oh." Vincent nodded. "Memories getting to you, huh?"

"Yeah." Jaras placed his glasses and his book onto the coffee table. "I can remember everything for the most part now and I hate it. That last episode last night brought it all back."

"I'm sorry." He placed his metallic right hand onto Jaras' knee. "This must be awful for you."

He raised his eyebrows. "It is, but it makes me wonder why you, Tifa, and everyone else have been so kind to me. I don't deserve it after all that I did."

"But that wasn't you Jaras, and we know it." Vincent stared into his son's eyes. "We know it was the Jenova and Hojo's influence. It wasn't your fault."

Jaras shook his head. "I don't know, its like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like at some point I'm going to go insane and start all of that again."

"You won't Jaras." He smiled faintly. "I won't let you. I didn't just finally get you in my life as my son to lose you to that kind of crap. We will get Hojo soon, and then all of that can be put behind you once and for all."

"I hope so." Jaras sighed. "I really do."


	122. Decisions

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXII

Decision

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent remained with Jaras on the couch for a long while. Finally Jaras turned to his father with an expression of seriousness. "I know that you and Tifa would like to stay here in Rocket for a while longer, but I would really rather get back to the ASRIO base."

"Oh," Vincent raised his eyebrows, surprised at his son's request. "Well, if worst came to worst, I could go back with you and Tifa could stay here longer if Cid wanted her to."

Jaras was impressed. "You would leave her here and return with me?"

"Sure." He shrugged slightly. "I know that you need someone right now and if I can be that someone, then I would be glad to. Besides, Tifa is more than capable of handling Cid on her own."

"That may be, but I know that just yesterday you were having reservations about Tifa being around Cid." Jaras almost smiled.

Vincent was amused that Jaras was calling him on this. "Well I did, you're right but after last night and this morning, I think some of those fears have been alieved. I know I can trust Tifa. Hopefully though, she will want to go back with you and I. I guess it kind of depends on Cid."

"Okay." Jaras picked his book back up from the coffee table and slipped his reading glasses back on. "I hear Tifa out in the kitchen with Cid, I think maybe you should go talk with them."

Vincent got up smiling knowing that Jaras in his awkward sort of way was blowing him off for the moment. He strode into the kitchen finding Tifa in the with Cid who was again feeding the baby.

Tifa got up upon seeing Vincent and threw her arms around him and gave him a good morning kiss. "Hey, missed you when I got up."

He grinned down at her. "Sorry, but I couldn't sleep anymore. I didn't want to wake you."

She was bright despite the early hour and didn't actually didn't seem that disturbed by his absence this morning. "Oh well, just glad to see that you didn't run off somewhere."

Vincent dropped his gaze and stepped to the side before landing in a kitchen chair. "Actually I need to talk to both of you."

Tifa sat down in the chair next to him and Cid looked up from the nursing baby with slight interest in his expression. 

"Okay," he tried to choose his words carefully, not wishing Tifa and Cid to think that he was just trying to bail on them. "Jaras really is having a hard time with these flashbacks and his memory has returned. He asked this morning if he could return back to the ASRIO base and I think maybe that's a good idea considering his situation."

Tifa just looked back at him, nodding slightly. 

"Poor son of a bitch remembers, huh?" Cid sighed, turning his eyes back to his son.

"Yeah," Vincent went on. "I would like to go back with him since I think at this point he really needs me. Tifa, if you want to stay here longer that's completely fine with me. I can send the airship back for you in a few days or have the helicopter come for you."

Tifa looked at Cid for a moment with concerned eyes. "Cid, do you want me to stay longer?"

Cid seemed unusually thoughtful for a second and then he reached across the table and patted Tifa's hand. "You go on and go. Sue and Sephy need you now. I think I've got enough of a grip on this whole dad thing to make it."

"Are you sure?" Tifa leaned forward a little, not wishing to leave Cid if he still wanted her to stay. "I mean, you've been through a lot and it's only been a few days."

"It's okay." Cid smiled weakly. "Me and the kid got it under control I think. If we have any questions, we know where to get a hold of you. Truth be told, Shera's mother called this morning and said she's coming out for a few days to help with her grandkid. The house would be kind of crowded with everyone here."

Tifa reciprocated his smile before turning back to Vincent. "I guess I'm going with you then."

Vincent tried to hide his relief with her decision but it didn't go too well and all those present knew that he was happy. "Okay, I'll go let Jaras know that we're going and I'll clue in the flight crew as well."

***

Within the halls of the ASRIO base, Porter was walking along slowly with only the accompaniment of his dog. He made his way along unaided, having discarded cane despite the advice of his physical therapist. The pain was intense and Porter was having some difficulty but he knew that if there was a mission coming up he needed to get back to walking normally again. He knew very well that if Tseng had any doubt whatsoever about his physical ability at the time of departure he would be left behind no matter how much they really needed him for the mission. 

D seemed somewhat annoyed with his master's sluggish progress. He would walk a few paces forward and then sit, whining until Porter reached his side again and then the process would be repeated.

Porter finally managed to reach the door to the room he and Rayna shared. Completely spent from his self-ordered torture he threw the door open and made his way to the bed and laid down. D took up a place right next to him and quickly fell asleep. Porter patted his dog lightly upon the head and stared up at the ceiling. He knew he was pushing himself rather hard to be able to go on the mission but didn't know what else to do. He had to go. He had to personally see to Hojo's death.

Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, the door to the room opened again and Rayna entered, having returned from a day of shopping up in town. She dropped her bags to the floor and went over to Porter's side, laying down next to him. 

Despite the pain he was already in from his walk, Porter couldn't help himself from rolling to his side to kiss his beloved Rayna.


	123. Leaving Rocket

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXIII

Leaving Rocket

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

I'm almost done moving, then I will finish this story. I swear, hehe.

It was late afternoon when they finally agreed to leave Rocket. Their things were already on the airship and now all that needed to be done was the good byes to Cid. He stood there with his infant son in his arms looking a little lost knowing that he was going to be alone with the child for the first time.

Tifa lingered near him for a long time, getting one last look at the baby while filling Cid with all of the last minute advice she could think of. She wanted so badly to stay with this infant that it pained her. Somehow she felt that Cid's child was the closest she would ever get to a baby of her own and her heart was aching at the prospect of leaving it.

Vincent and Jaras were hovering a few feet away, both feeling terribly awkward in this sort of situation. More than anything else they were just anxious to go, but they both knew better than to drag Tifa off before she was ready.

In truth, Vincent knew what was holding her back from going and it hurt deeply. He had seen over the past day what type of mother that she would have made and he was saddened that he couldn't give her what she wanted most. Maybe at some point he would get the courage up to approach the subject with her and he would let her know that if she wanted to have a baby that it would be all right with him, even if it meant that it wouldn't be his.

Finally Tifa gave her tearful farewell to Cid and turned away from him. Vincent took this opportunity to go to Cid.

Cid looked at Vincent with slightly tear-tainted eyes. "Well, take care of Tifa."

Vincent smiled and said quietly, "Are you sure you're gonna be all right without her? I mean, if you really want her to stay it's fine with me."

"Thanks but like I said, Shera's mother is gonna be here in the morning and I'll be fine." Cid dropped his gaze. "Thanks though."

"No problem." Vincent dared to reach out and pat Cid on the shoulder. "Okay then, call if you need anything okay?"

"Sure." Cid forced a smile. "Bye."

"Bye." Vincent turned and headed toward the airship, running a bit to catch up with Tifa.

Jaras' goodbye simply consisted of a smile and a nod and then he too retreated with the others.

Cid stood alone in the field as he watched the airship lift up into the sky. His lower lip quivered slightly as he truly wished that they weren't going. It was true that Shera's mother was coming in the morning, but he could barely stand the woman and wasn't really looking forward to it. He held his son tightly to him and looked down at his tiny face. "Well, it's just us. What do you think?"

The baby was sleeping and stirred just the smallest bit at his father's words.

Cid's face broke into a genuine smile. He was so attached to this infant that it practically hurt. He turned from the field and started back toward his house. "Let's go get ready for Grandma."

***

Once back on the airship, Jaras retreated to his quarters and left Tifa and Vincent on the bridge to the ship with the flight crew. Vincent pulled the cel phone from his pocket that Tseng had given him before his departure and dialed.

Tseng answered on the other end. "Hello?"

"Tseng, it's me." Vincent said, turning away from Tifa in order to have some privacy while he talked to his brother. 

"What's going on? Is something wrong?" Tseng asked, thinking that his brother would only call if there was a problem.

"No, everything is fine." Vincent sighed while turning his gaze toward the window. "I was just letting you know that Tifa, Jaras, and I are on our way back."

"Why so soon?" He knew that it wasn't like Tifa to leave Cid so quickly after the loss of his wife.

Vincent's voice grew quiet, "It's Jaras. He had another flashback last night and has regained his memory."

"Oh God, how is he doing?" Tseng sat down in the chair he had been standing next to.

"Fine now." There was a pain in Vincent's heart as he recalled the night before. "But he asked for us to come back. I think he's scared to be at large right now and would just feel safer in the base."

"All right." Tseng slouched into the seat. "I have spent some time talking with the Turk you brought back."

"Oh? And did he give you any useful information?" Vincent was curious.

"Actually he did." Tseng smiled to himself. "I think we have a plan forming to go and raid the second Midgar lab where Hojo is carrying out the Neo-Jenova Project."

Vincent was speechless for a moment. "That… that is good news."

"Yes." He continued to grin. "And it will be carried out soon, so I suppose that it is for the best that you come back now. The only thing is, the Turk insists on going with us on this mission and quite frankly, I don't know if he's recovered enough from his injury to make such a trip."

"But he has invaluable insight into this secret lab, right?" Vincent knew that this would be the only reason his brother would humor the Turk.

"Correct." Tseng's smile finally faltered. "Still, I think he may slow us down. Then again, he is the only one who has the faintest idea of where this lab is and how to get in. It is a bit of a pickle."

Vincent laughed. "It would appear so. Well, he's a Turk and you know as well as I do that he will either be ready when the time comes or he will step down."

"That is what you and I would do as Turks, but we know very little about this man." Tseng scoffed. "For all we know, he could be another Reno."

"Now Tseng," he continued to laugh. "I think we both know that this Porter has little in common with Reno. Don't insult the man with such a comparison."

"Yes, you're right." Tseng sighed. "Well, we will see."

"All right, I'm going to go. Bye." Vincent turned the phone off and slid it back into his pocket.


	124. Fears

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXIV

Fears

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent and Tifa retreated to the deck of the airship in order to have a bit of personal time. They stood together in a silent embrace for a very long time but Vincent knew that the two of them needed to talk. So much had happened in the lab that they hadn't dealt with and he wished to know all that had happened to his wife at the madman's hands.

Vincent loosened his grip around Tifa's waist and looked down into her eyes. "If you don't want to talk about this right now it's okay, but I need to know what happened to you in the lab."

The corners of Tifa's mouth immediately pulled down into a frown. "Oh, well nothing compared to what you went through."

"No," Vincent sighed, "the worst part of being in that lab was knowing that he was doing things to you and I couldn't protect you."

She was a little taken back by his words. How Hojo's work on her could possibly have been worse than all that which he had suffered personally was beyond her. "Honestly the most difficult thing for me was hearing your screams as he did God knows what to you."

Vincent smiled down at her. They both seemed to have been more disturbed by each other's situations than their own. "Nonetheless, I want to know what he did to you. I need to know."

Tifa dropped her gaze to the side for a moment and took a step back. "Well, at first he just gave me injections of things to make me ovulate. And then once that happened, he took me into surgery. It hurt afterward, sort of like the worst cramps of my life, but that was about it."

Vincent knew that she was sugar coating her experience but felt that he shouldn't push her. She would tell him more when she was ready. He reached out and took her hand in his. As he looked down at his metallic hand holding her flesh one. Tears at once burned in his eyes.

Tifa saw the expression on his face and reached up with her other hand and pushed some of his hair back. "Vincent, it's okay."

He wasn't able to respond as it was taking all of his strength to hold back the tears that were begging release. 

"I know what's on your mind, and I want you to know that I love you no matter what." She came forward and rested her head upon his shoulder it again. "I don't care what has been done to you."

Vincent placed his cheek against her hair and closed his eyes for a moment. "But… if it does bother you I'll understand."

Tifa held him tighter. "No Vincent, don't even say that. I love you not your body, I wish you could believe that."

He sighed and kept his eyes closed. "I love you so much, I'm just so afraid of losing you."

She laughed quietly to herself. "That seems to be your catch phrase, you know that? I'm gonna say this one more time, and this time I want you to listen. I'm not leaving you, not now, not ever, got it?"

"Got it." Vincent smiled.

The two of them turned when they heard the door to the deck open behind them. They spotted Jaras emerging, his complexion ashen and his expression obviously disturbed.

Jaras offered them a weak smile through his stressed air. "Hey there."

Tifa let go of Vincent and turned so she could face their visitor properly. "Jaras, what's wrong?"

He came closer to where they were standing, his hands being wrung before nervously. "Well, I went to my quarters to try and read, but my mind started wandering and certain thoughts and memories came up. I just felt like I had to get out here in order to find some sort of distraction."

Vincent's expression became greatly concerned and he walked directly to his son. "Are you going to be okay?"

He nodded while glancing away. "I think I will be now. I feel better just being out here."

"Jaras?" Tifa went closer too until she was near enough to grasp one of his hands. "Do you need to talk about it?"

Jaras continued to avoid eye contact with either of them. The truth was that his thoughts had been about revenge on Hojo and what had scared him the most was that he realized that if given the chance, he would kill the madman. "It's about the mission that's coming up."

"The one to stop Hojo?" Vincent asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes." Jaras finally brought his gaze up to meet his father's. "Before I discovered who I was, I never thought that I would be capable of harming someone, much less kill them. Now though, I know that if I am faced with that man knowing that all he lead me to do back as Sephiroth, as well as what he did to both of you, and my mother… I would end his life."

"Don't feel bad, there are a lot of people on this planet who would love to kill that man." Vincent smirked.

"But that's not the person I thought I was." Jaras' worry seemed to deepen. "What if killing him opens up the flood gates? What if… what if I discovered that I _liked _it?"

"That won't happen." Tifa stated, still maintaining her hold on his hand.

"How do we know?" Jaras shifted where he stood.

Vincent furrowed his brow. "There will be a lot of us on that mission. Chances are that one of the other people there will do it. Why worry about something that you can't even be sure that will happen? Besides, if anyone has a genuine reasons to kill Hojo, I'm fairly certain its you."

"Perhaps…" Jaras hung his head and pulled his hand from Tifa's hold although he hated to do it. "I just don't know what to do. I feel like I am completely out of control of my life and it makes me sick."

"Listen to me." Vincent grew extremely serious. "You are in control of your life. Nothing has to happen to you or by your hand from here on out that you don't want. Unlike back when you were Sephiroth, you do have a choice. No once can tell you what to do anymore. There is no more Jenova inside you altering your mind. You belong to you, don't forget it."


	125. Conference

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXV

Conference

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tseng stood upon the airfield. It had been a day and a half since Vincent had called him from the airship and it was due to arrive at any moment. Soon enough he could hear the drone of the ship's engines as it appeared in the sky. He waited in patient silence as it descended and alit before him.

Vincent was the first to emerge from the massive ship, closely followed by Tifa. He went directly to his younger brother and gave him a quick embrace. "How are you doing, Tseng?"

He flashed a brief smile as he stepped back. "I am well, and yourself? Has your body been functioning right?"

The strangeness of Tseng's comment didn't strike Vincent as that odd. "So far, so good."

Tifa came forward and threw her arms around Tseng, her constant worry about his health alleviated for the time being as he looked so good. "Hey!"

He returned her embrace happily. "Hello Tifa. How is Cid coping?"

Her smile faded and at once as she returned to Vincent's side. "He's doing as well as can be expected. Luckily, he's the toughest person I know and if anyone can make it through this it will be him."

"Yes, I suppose you're right." Tseng dropped his gaze before looking up at Vincent. "Where is Jaras?"

Vincent looked back over his shoulder at the ship, just as his son stumbled from the doorway.

It was obvious to all that Jaras had been suffering for a long time. He hadn't even bothered to come out of his quarters all day and the expression upon his face was one of sheer exhaustion. Clearly he hadn't gotten any sleep whatsoever the night before, and truth be told, his head was splitting from having read for the past twelve consecutive hours. It was all he could do to distract himself from his memories. Jaras squinted in the bright sunlight and offered the faintest of smiles to everyone. "Hey."

Tseng nodded in acknowledgement and waived for them all to follow him into the base. He led them straight into the meeting room where they found Reno, Angel, Morris, Ericson, and Porter already assembled.

Angel at once flew from her seat and hugged her father. "I have been so worried about you!"

He patted her on the back as he finally broke off the embrace. "I'm fine, don't worry about me."

She wiped the tears from her eyes before going to her brother and throwing her arms around him. "Jaras, are you doing okay? You look so tired."

"I'm okay, I just find it hard to sleep on that airship." He thought that by saying this he wasn't really lying. "Do you know why he has brought us all here into the conference room?"

"Tseng is going to give us the orders for the mission to Midgar." Angel whispered quietly as she moved back from her brother.

Tseng walked over to the head of the table and motioned for everyone to sit which they all quickly did.

After a few moments, Tseng began to address them. "I suppose that you all know why we are here. I have decided on the plan to go to stop Hojo from carrying on the Neo-Jenova Project. I owe a large debt of thanks to you, Porter, for telling me about the second Midgar lab and how to access it. If you are physically up to it, you have my consent to join the mission."

All the eyes in the room turned to Porter who was sitting uncomfortably upon his injured hip. There was no way he was going to let this opportunity slip from his grasp no matter how much pain he was in. "I am up to it, I would like to go."

"Fair enough." Tseng lowered himself into his seat at the head of the table. "I also know that you, Jaras, have expressed an interest in this mission. Do you also wish to go?"

Jaras nodded weakly as the remainder of the color drained from his cheeks. "Yes, I need to go."

"All right then." Tseng scanned over the group before him. "Therefore, the insertion group will consist of Vincent, Tifa, Jaras, Reno, Porter, and Morris. Angel and I will be going along in the chopper, and will remain upon it. Ericson is going along for technical assistance as far as getting into the lab, but once the lab has been breached, Ericson will return to the where the helicopter dropped him off, and he will be picked up. The chopper will then leave the plate until the conclusion of the mission, at which time we will return to pick up the insertion team."

There was a short pause as Tseng caught his breath. The tension in the room was intense and no one dared to speak. This was the mission they had all been waiting for but were dreading at the same time.

Tseng finally continued. "Porter has informed me that there are passages within the structure of the plate that lead to various points. The team will be dropped off in Sector Three, as it is the location least likely to be watched. Due to his knowledge of these passages, Porter will guide the team through to the lab, which is nestled in Reactor Six. Once in the reactor, your goal is simple; destroy the Neo-Jenova Project and if time allows, assassinate Hojo."

This order sent a murmur through those gathered. Everyone present wished to kill Hojo.

Tseng took no enjoyment in giving such an order, even if it was against someone like the madman. "Hojo will not be easy to kill. As you all know he is infused with an incredible amount of Jenova and is virtually immortal at this point. I believe however that if he is caused enough damage there maybe a chance of him not being able to regenerate. Do whatever you need to do, but do not risk the lives of any of the mission members beyond reason. If it becomes apparent that there is no way to kill him within the confines of the mission, pull back and get the Hell out of that lab. Our main goal is to halt the Project, keep that in mind."

Another silence passed until Vincent asked that which all present were wondering. "When do we leave?"

Tseng sat back in his chair and sighed. He knew that no one was in top form for such a difficult mission at the moment, but he couldn't risk allowing Hojo to make any sort of progress. An injured Turk, his mentally unstable nephew, and his recently altered brother made the insertion team questionable but there was no way to wait much longer. "We leave in two days."


	126. Temper

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXVI

Temper

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Everyone filed out of the room speechless. Jaras quietly made his way back to his own room and locked the door. After a few moments of hesitation, he went over to the corner where the sword Tifa had given him was sitting. Carefully he picked it up and pulled it from the sheath. Logic told him that such a large blade should be nearly impossible to wield but oddly enough it felt practically natural in his hands. Somehow he knew that if put to the test, he would be able to use it quite well as the training he had received with it so long before was still ingrained into his subconscious.

He let the blade glint in the dim light of the room, becoming mesmerized by it. It was both incredibly alien and yet frighteningly familiar. When a knock came at the door he was startled and nearly dropped the weapon. Hastily he recovered the blade and placed it back where it had been. 

Jaras made his way to the door and opened it, finding Angel and Reno on the other side. "Oh, hi there."

Angel smiled warmly. "We thought maybe we should check on you."

"Ain't no _we _involved." Reno said with great sarcasm. "I would just as soon have gone to do something else."

After flashing her husband a biting glare, Angel continued. "You just didn't look to well earlier."

"Oh." Jaras motioned for them to enter and then shut the door. He went and sat on the edge of the bed as they took up the couch. "I'm a little tired from recent events, that's all."

She looked thoughtful for a moment. "I was talking with my father after the meeting and he told me that you have regained your memory. Is that true?"

He couldn't lie to her and hung his head, allowing his face to be obscured by his long silver hair. "Yes it is."

"So like you know everything then?" Reno asked, somewhat interested in the subject at hand.

Jaras looked up and locked gazes with his brother-in-law. "Yes."

Sensing that Jaras really was suffering from this, Angel rose from her seat on the couch and went to the bed and sat next to him. "Are you going to be okay?"

"It's all a little to take, but I'm fine." He sighed to himself, torn between wanting to be alone and wishing to be comforted by his sister.

"Do you really think that you are gonna be able to pull of going with us to Midgar in two days?" Reno leaned forward where he sat, his Turk blood wishing to remove any weak spots from the mission team.

Jaras again met Reno's gaze, growing increasingly annoyed with his tone and attitude. "I will not cause you any trouble on the trip if that is your worry. I assure you that I can handle myself."

"Sure, you could handle yourself in a fight situation back as Sephiroth, but what about now?" Reno narrowed his eyes, intentionally trying to get the better of Jaras.

Jaras, already on edge from his exhaustion could take no more. He quickly got up from the bed, whirled around and grabbed his sword. In one quick and fluid motion, he had it unsheathed and resting uncomfortably close to Reno's neck. "I can handle myself."

Reno's eyes grew wide as he was caught off guard by Jaras' speed and agility with the sword. Never in a million years would he have expected to be turned on by Jaras. Until now, he figured he wasn't capable of such a threat. "So, you're actually capable of lashing out, just like you old man, huh?"

Jaras frowned and let the blade move away from Reno. There was a tremendous fear within him at the ease of how he had just reacted out of anger but he covered it for the moment wishing to make an impression on Reno. "Don't screw with me, Reno. I'm in a really rough point in my life, and the last thing that I need is your harassment. Just keep that in mind."

Reno raised his hands in defense and offered an awkward smile. "Hey, you know I don't mean anything by it, just calm down."

Angel, frightened by what she had just witnessed rose from the bed and made her way to Reno's side. "I think that maybe we should go. Jaras needs some time to himself right now."

Reno nodded, signaling his agreement. "Yeah, all right."

As Reno headed out the door, Angel turned to face her brother one last time. "Jaras, please come and see me if you need to talk, okay?"

Ashamed at his actions, he wasn't able to look her in the eye but replied nonetheless. "I will. Thanks."


	127. Future Plans

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXVII

Future Plans

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Angel escorted a shaken Reno straight to Vincent and Tifa's room. Reno had protested this but Angel knew that she needed to speak with her father quickly about what had just happened. She knocked loudly on the door, and soon Tifa answered.

She looked pleased that Angel was here. "Oh hi guys, come on in!"

Reno and his wife did as asked and entered. They went to the couch and sat.

Vincent was sitting on the bed and smiled at his daughter. "How are you?"

"Well, I think we need to talk about Jaras." Angel said, getting comfortable.

Tifa sat next to Vincent and knitted her brow. "What's going on?"

"Psychopath just pulled his fucking sword on me, that's what." Reno growled, unconsciously reaching up and touching his neck where the blade had rested against it just a few moments before.

"Are you serious?" Vincent was both shocked to hear this but not entirely surprised. He had been witnessing the change in Jaras ever since his first flashback.

"Yes, very." Angel shook her head, her sadness showing. "Granted Reno was pestering him and had it coming, but still that was unlike the Jaras that first came here."

"I think he's on the verge of a nervous breakdown." Vincent sighed, feeling the weight of parental concern overtake him. "I almost wish there was a way to erase his discovery of who he was and send him back to Mideel."

Tifa put her arm around Vincent's shoulders. "Yeah, me too."

Angel leaned forward and locked gazes with Vincent. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know." He responded at a loss.

"Well I for one don't think the old boy should be joining us on our little trip to Midgar." Reno interjected spitefully. "But don't tell him that, cause that's what just about cost me my god damned head."

"No, I don't think there is anyway we are going to keep him from going with us." Vincent became thoughtful. "He may need to go just to get some sort of closure on that whole chapter of his life."

"Look Pops, I don't think we should risk taking him into that sort of situation." Reno frowned at his father in law. "For all we know he might flip out and kill us instead of that fucker Hojo."

"He won't do that." Vincent said flatly not even entertaining Reno's notion. "There may be a lot clouding Jaras' mind right now but turning on us is something that will never happen."

"I hate to agree with Reno, but how do we know he won't?" Angel asked her father.

Vincent shrugged, unable to explain his feelings. "I just know he won't. But at the same time, we need to treat him gently for a while. Once this is all said and done, I think he will be a little more himself again."

"Yeah, but is that a little more his Jaras self, or Sephiroth?" Reno hissed.

Angel glanced over at her husband and frowned. "Maybe we should go now."

"Fine." Reno got up quickly. "Hell, I didn't want to come here in the first place."

Vincent and Tifa saw them out and then turned to each other. Tifa could see the pain within Vincent at the news of Jaras' actions and she placed her arms around him. "What do you think?"

He sighed. "I am very worried about him. I can't imagine what all this is doing to his mind. I just hope he can keep it together. I truly do believe that after this mission he will be better."

"I think so, too." Tifa rested her head on his chest. "I know I'll be a lot happier when this is all over."

"Yeah." Vincent closed his eyes, enjoying Tifa's closeness. "Then maybe we can get on with our lives. Tifa?"

"What?" She asked.

"I've thought about it." His voice grew quiet. "I think that I would like us to settle somewhere outside of Kalm, in the country side somewhere."

She took a step back from him in surprise. "Are you serious?"

"Yes." He smiled slightly. "We can have a place in the hills where it will be quiet. Then we can get that pond you want."

Tifa brimmed with delight. She had always been fond of that area and the thought of having a country house there was exciting. "Yes, we can get some of those big fish and maybe some chickens, too."

Her delight over this was infectious and Vincent's smiled widened. "Yes, we can have some chickens."

Tifa came closer and threw her arms around him again. She had no idea what had prompted Vincent to bring this up now but she was glad he had.

Vincent again closed his eyes and held her tightly. Inside his heart there was some pain. He had brought this up, pretending that it could be that way. Unfortunately, he suspected that there was no way that Hojo was going to allow him to survive this mission. Settling peacefully with Tifa was all he wanted but at this moment Vincent knew that was something that wouldn't happen. Then again, he had been wrong before and he deeply hoped that this was one of those times.


	128. Mission Departure

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXVIII

Mission Departure

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The next two days passed slowly, filled with one briefing about the mission after another. Everyone started to feel a little over prepared when the time to leave finally arrived. They were leaving early in the afternoon as to arrive in Midgar at sundown.

Vincent and Tifa were the first at the helicopter to meet Angel and Tseng. They stood in a tense silence as they waited for the others to arrive.

Back in their room, Rayna was giving Porter a tearful goodbye. She was terribly worried about him; he was still having a difficult time even walking although he was hiding it well. Rayna had pled with him several times during the night and this morning not to go, but he had politely disregarded her begging. He knew full well that he needed to be with them on this mission. Porter was the only one who had any idea where they needed to go or how to get there. He was vital to the success of this trip.

Resolving that he was in fact going to leave, Rayna placed her arms around him and gave him a farewell kiss. "Please be careful. I don't know what I would do without you, I love you."

He closed his eyes, drinking up as much of these last few moments before departure as he could. "I will Rayna, don't worry. I'll be fine, and don't forget I love you too."

"Okay…" Her voice wavered through her tears. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye." Porter took a few steps back from her. "Take good care of D, all right?"

"Sure." She slowly closed the door behind him as he left. After she knew he was out of earshot, Rayna threw herself onto the bed and started to cry, fearing for her lover's life. D climbed up next to her and laid down at her side. If anyone was looking, they would think that the dog too was concerned for his master's well being.

Porter emerged onto the airfield soon followed by Jaras. They approached the others as everyone continued to wait for Reno who was, as usual, late.

Jaras made his way right to Vincent's side. "Hey."

"Are you ready for this?" He asked his son.

"Yes." Jaras wrapped his hand around the hilt of the sword strapped to his side. His long hair was tied tightly back and he was wearing the typical black mission outfit that Tseng had provided him.

Vincent wasn't entirely certain of his son's resolve but it was too late for worrying. He reached over and patted Jaras on the back. "This will be all over soon and then life can get back to something a little more normal."

"Whatever that is." Jaras sighed.

Tifa caught the expression on Jaras' face and came before him. "Jaras are you sure you feel okay?"

He nodded slightly, trying to hide how he really felt. "Yes, thanks."

Reaching out and picking up one of his hands, Tifa locked gazes with him. "There is still time to change your mind."

"No, I'm sure about this." Jaras let his fingers curl around her tiny hand so that he could hold onto her for just a little longer. His feelings for Tifa were still driving him crazy despite his preoccupation with his returned memory. As soon as he felt his father's gaze back on him again, he let go of her.

Tifa stepped back to Vincent's side, knowing that Jaras was still thinking of her in terms beyond friendly. She had started to become accustomed to the way he looked and talked to her and on some level it had become very flattering.

They were all distracted from their individual conversations and thoughts when Reno burst out onto the airfield, announcing his arrival quite loudly. "All right, let's get this fuckin' show on the road!"

Everyone turned away from Reno's disruptive entrance and started to board the chopper. Angel got on last along with her husband after giving him a quick hello peck on the cheek. He in return gave her a light swat on the rear as she got onto the helicopter.

Upon watching his son in law's handling of his daughter Vincent rolled his eyes and sank further into his seat. Tifa saw his reaction and smiled to him before placing her hand on his knee.

Once everyone was on and strapped in, the engines to the chopper started and Tseng handed out the obligatory headsets to everyone so they could listen to yet another briefing on the way to Midgar.

"All right, can everyone hear me?" Tseng asked, looking over all those present.

Everyone nodded in response, except for Reno who as usual just flipped a hand at his boss.

"Good." Tseng smiled weakly. "Well, I think we've gone over this plan enough times that you all understand what you are to do, correct?"

Again, a unanimous nod from the crowd, save Reno.

"Excellent." He cleared his throat quietly before going on. "Basically all I wanted to say is that I appreciate all of you volunteering for this mission. You are all very aware of the risks, and many of you are having to face your own personal fears in order to invade that lab. Many of you have suffered terribly at the hands of the man we are about to face, and I commend your bravery. Once this mission is over, all of you will be set for the rest of your lives. You will not be expected to go on any more missions, if you wish, you may consider this your retirement. On the other hand, if any of you should wish to keep working as ASRIO agents, well I'd appreciate that as well."

Ericson and Morris looked thoughtful at this news. As life long agents, the thought of an early retirement was very tempting, however this life was all they had come to know and it was a fair bet that they wouldn't accept his offer.

Reno smiled widely at the thought, until Angel gave him a quick leer telling him to forget any ideas of quitting the business.

Vincent and Tifa however would be more than ready to quit and settle down once this was over. Tseng had known this when he's made his offer and in truth it was directed at them as well as Jaras.

Jaras in the meanwhile seemed to be taking little notice of Tseng's words. He was staring out a small window at the ground growing distant below. Being trapped in his own thoughts things such as financial security were meaningless.

After a few more words, Tseng took his seat and left everyone to their own thoughts for the duration of the trip.


	129. Landing

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXIX

Landing

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Very little was said amongst those on the helicopter as it made its way to Midgar. Vincent and Tifa sat together holding hands with Angel and Reno next to them doing the same. Jaras had managed to stash a book in the pack that Tseng had given him and was doing his best to read despite the shaky ride of the chopper.

Dark had just descended on Midgar by the time they neared it. At once, the stench of the open Mako wells within the old reactors was thick in the air, even inside the helicopter's cabin. The pilot circled over the vast city before making the approach to the plate.

From the windows of the helicopter they all got a good view of what the plate had become. In the center where the Shin Ra building had once stood was now the enormous power plant that processed the solar energy collected by the panels that made up the majority of its surface. The great power plant with all of its lights stood out like some sort of vast ghost of the city that had been there before. An eerie green vapor still emanated from the old reactors even though all of them except number Six were completely abandoned. There was one sector of the plate that was completely dark, unadorned with solar collectors or power lines. This was their goal for that was the still unrepaired area where they were to land.

Porter got up from his seat and made his way to the cockpit in order to direct Brad where to set down. He placed himself somewhat awkwardly into the empty copilot's seat and donned a headset.

Brad gave him a passing glance as he continued to guide the helicopter toward the vacated sector. "Mister Porter?"

"Yeah, I thought I might show you where I think it would be best to sit down." Porter said, pointing vaguely at the nearing dark area.

"I think I know where best to set down this bird." The pilot said, not entirely grateful for anyone's help no matter what their intentions.

"Well, granted, but I know where to get into the ducts that go to the reactor and there is a real nice open area pretty close to there. I thought maybe I could just show it to you." Porter was going to do his best to make the pilot feel that the final decision on where to land was his own idea. "I don't know anything about landing spots but if you thought it was good maybe you'd like to use it."

Brad knew what the former Turk was trying to do and decided to humor him. "Fine, where is this spot?"

"It's almost dead center, there between those three taller buildings." Porter again pointed out toward the abandoned area.

"Okay, I got you." Brad nodded slightly as he guided the chopper toward the spot. After circling over it a few times, he had to admit that Porter was right. Without further discussion, he slowly began to bring the helicopter down.

Satisfied that he had gotten his way, Porter pulled off the headset and made his way to the back of the chopper again, finding the other's donning their packs in preparation for disembarking.

Once the helicopter was on the ground and the engines cut, Tseng gave those present some last words. "You all have your orders. Please be careful and we will see you when it is time to pick up."

The side door was slid open and people began to get out. First went Ericson and Morris, followed by Porter and Jaras. Tifa and Vincent both stayed inside for just a moment longer, as they both gave Angel and Tseng brief embraces and good byes. Reno also was with them until the end, as he remained to give his wife a lingering farewell kiss. Afterward they too stepped out onto the surface of the plate.

Tseng closed the door to the chopper and locked it. He, Angel, and the pilot would remain there in the locked helicopter until Ericson returned at which time they would leave the plate until it was time to return to pick up the others.

Porter wasted no time and started toward where he knew the nearest hatch was. He walked as quickly as he could manage hiding his limp as well as possible. There was no way that he was going to allow anyone to know exactly how badly he was still hurting. This mission was the most important thing to him right now and he had to make it through.

Not having enough time to sit and stew in their fear for what was coming, all of those present soon had to follow the Turk into the shadows. Porter led them straight to a ruined two-story building and climbed through an enormous hole in the wall. Just inside was a gash torn into the floor, which would give them access to the inner passages of the plate. 

Carefully as was possible, Porter dropped through this opening and into the duct. The impact of the short fall sent a searing pain through his entire injured leg and for a moment he had to catch his breath fearing that he had undone all the healing that had taken place. By the time all the others had joined him however, he had managed to start walking again.

Vincent and Tifa still took up the rear and made their way behind the rest of the team. Tifa could sense Vincent's tension and felt badly for him. He had suffered so much at the hands of the man they were about to meet that the fact that he was able go toward that lab at all was a miracle. In the darkness of the tunnel she would flash him reassuring smiles which he tried hard to return.

In truth Vincent was more concerned with Tifa's safety than his own. The mere thought that she would be in the madman's presence was killing him. He would do anything to prevent the scientist from touching her no matter what that meant. When the passageway was wide enough for them to walk side by side; he would take Tifa's hand into his own.

Jaras too was mired in thought as he made his way down the tunnel. Often he would reach down and grip the hilt of his sword tightly in an effort to reassure himself. It may have been over seven years since he had properly used the weapon but he was fully confident that when the time came that he would be more than able. He was still worried about what would become of him if he survived this. Whether or not the act of killing would be pleasurable to him was his biggest concern. If this mission made him back into a homicidal maniac he hoped that someone would do him in before he took the life of someone innocent. Also within him was a small copy of what his father was feeling. His feelings for Tifa still remained and he knew that if it came down to him defending her that he would do it with every fiber of his being.


	130. Second Thoughts

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXX

Second Thoughts

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The echoes of everyone's footsteps rang through the passageway making it sound like there were at least twice as many people in the landing party. The damaged and dark portion of the corridor that undermined Sector Three eventually gave way to better kept and lit passages that winded their way toward the reactor that was their goal. The small green fluorescent tubes that provided the dim illumination for them were a sickly color, reminiscent of the glowing vapor that rose from the abandoned Mako reactors.

Vincent took notice that the pace of progress they were making had slowed. He made his way up until he reached Porter's side. "Is everything all right?"

From the intense expression along with the copious amount of sweat running down his face, it was very clear that something most definitely wasn't right with the former Turk. Making certain that his voice wouldn't betray the amount of pain he was in he responded. "No, just being careful not to get us lost."

Even without having been a Turk it would have been obvious to Vincent that Porter was lying. However, since he was also able to tell that the only thing preoccupying Porter's mind was pain, any suspicion that they were being led into any sort of trap evaporated. Without another word, Vincent fell back in line until he was at Tifa's side again.

She looked at him with curiosity, wondering what he just transpired. "Is everything okay?"  
"Yeah, he's just slowing from pain." Vincent responded with a sigh. He was worried about the Turk's condition compromising this mission but wasn't about to let on to her. "That's all."

Even without him having said anything, Tifa knew what was worrying him. "Is he going to make it?"

"I'm not too sure." Vincent shook his head slightly. "I think he's pushing himself too hard. I would hope though that he would know his own limits and if need be, he could turn back and return to the chopper with Ericson once we are into the lab."

"You know he won't do that though, don't you?" Tifa gave him a sidelong glance.

"Yes, I know he won't." The truth was just that simple. But if Porter's inability to function became a risk to anyone on this mission, Vincent knew his role. Unbeknownst to anyone, Vincent had been given yet another impossible order by his brother before departure that morning. Tseng had given Vincent the command to eliminate the former Turk should he become a hindrance or if there should come to light any question of his motives. Without any conscious thought, Vincent reached down and touched the gun strapped to his hip.

Tifa caught this movement out of the corner of her eye and instantly her jaw dropped. In a hushed but firm voice she confronted her husband. "You _wouldn't_!"

With absolutely no expression on his face he looked over at her, not slowing his pace in the least. "I don't think I'm even going to dignify that with a response."

Tifa's eyes grew wide. "Would you just kill anyone on your brother's word?"

Vincent knitted his brows and turned his gaze forward again. "Tifa, you know that isn't how it is."

"Send him back, forbid him from going on but not _that!_" Tifa stopped dead in her tracks and let her voice rise slightly, not really caring who heard.

Fortunately for Vincent, no one did hear as they were a good distance behind the others. He halted and put his hands on her shoulders and locked her into his gaze. "Listen to me! I am not going to put anyone at risk by letting him become a problem. I wouldn't just take him out like that, I would let him know what was at stake and then if he refused to turn back then I would do what I had to do."

"Isn't it bad enough that you already had to kill Cloud?" Her eyes brimmed with tears.

Vincent was momentarily shocked by her question. "You know damned well that the person I shot was not Cloud, it was a computer. What is this really about?"

Her expression at once changed from anger to sadness. "I want to go back."

"Why?" He softened his tone.

"I don't want to risk losing you." Tifa's voice wavered. "We both know what Hojo would do in order to get you. I just can't bear losing you, Vincent, I just can't!"

Somewhat taken aback by her change of heart, Vincent pulled her to him and held her tight. "Hojo isn't going to get me or you or anyone else. He is going to die Tifa, do you understand?"

"We couldn't kill him before, what makes us think that we can kill him now?" She was pleading.

"Tifa, trust me we can kill him. If there is anything I know it is that I can stop him from hurting anyone else ever again." He stroked her hair trying in vain to comfort her, hoping that the others weren't getting too far ahead of them.

"All night I dreamt that he had us again. I just kept hearing him say over and over how much he loved you and that he was going to do terrible things to you." Her words were muffled slightly from her face pressing into his shirt.

The fact that Tifa was aware of Hojo's exact sentiments toward him made Vincent feel sick. Even if these were just words she had heard in a dream and may not be based on anything she had ever heard it still chilled him to the core. "Tifa, it was a dream. I swear to you that he will not capture me, you, or anyone else do you understand? We have to go on with this. If we don't you know what is at stake. Do you want others to go through what we, Jaras, and Lucretia went through?"

"N…no." She stammered.

"Then we must do this and finish it this time." Vincent held her out at arm's length and brushed some hair away from her face. "I'm going to need you to trust me, can you do that?"

Tifa nodded slightly, getting again in control of herself, slightly ashamed of this outburst. "Okay."

"Let's go then." Vincent smiled as he started to walk again with her hand in his.


	131. Observation

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXXI

Observation

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa and Vincent hastened their pace in order to catch up with the others. They came around a bend in the passageway and in a moment of relief and terror they saw what they had been searching for. Porter and the others were amassed before a large vault type door adorned with just some carelessly red spray painted characters. It read simply, 'Reactor 6'.

Once everyone was close enough, Porter looked back at them as if to let them know that this was it. He then turned to the door and flipped open a small panel in the center of it. He punched in a quick code that he had watched Hojo input into every combination lock in any lab. The scientist had never once bothered to think that anyone had ever managed to see what the code was and therefore hadn't bothered to change it in the course of over thirty years. It was obviously something important to the madman to continue to use this particular pass code all of this time, but as to what it really meant Porter had no idea. Under his breath Porter recited the code to himself as he entered it. "Eight, two, five, three, six, eight, four, six, three."

A slight hiss followed by a loud clank rang through the passageway making everyone cringe, but soon after the former Turk was able to pull the enormous door just enough so that they could enter.

A cold sweat broke out across Vincent's skin as he passed through the doorway at once feeling the all too familiar terror of being in another of Hojo's labs. Without any thought given to it he drew his Death Penalty and held it firmly to his chest. There was no way that he was going to be caught unprepared again.

The others in the group also assumed defensive postures. Reno had his night staff in his hand ready to activate it at a second's notice. He constantly reminded himself that this time he had brought a gun and should he get in a bind where the night staff proved useless he would turn to it. Porter's weapon was also drawn and ready. Finally, if anyone had been paying any attention to him at all, they might have noticed Jaras nervously clenching the hilt of his sword ready to draw it and put it to use if needed.

Now that access to the lab had been gained, Ericson gave them a brief signal indicating that he was now going back to the chopper. Seeing this, Vincent pulled Porter aside and addressed him. "He's going back and I really do think that you should go with him."

Porter knitted his brows and frowned. "I haven't come all this way just to turn back."

"You're in agony and you've not been doing a good job at hiding it." Vincent lowered his voice in an attempt to keep this conversation private.

"Yes I am, but I can't turn back now. This is too important to me. I need to see an end to that bastard. Maybe what he's done to my life isn't nearly as bad as what he's done to yours but I need to do this." Porter locked Vincent into his gaze, knowing that with this many Turks involved in ASRIO and this mission that certainly Vincent had been given a very specific order. "Tseng gave you the authority to do it, didn't he?"

"Do what?" Vincent attempted to seem confused but it failed miserably.

"You know damned well what." Porter crossed his arms for a moment. "If there is anything that will compromise the success of this mission you are to deal with and if needed eradicate such a factor, am I right?"

Vincent dropped his gaze to the ground. As bad of a Turk as Porter may have been, he wasn't completely ignorant to their ways. "Yes."

"I'll tell you what," Porter leaned forward just a bit, "if I do become such a threat you go right ahead and do it because I'm telling you right now that there is no way that I'm going back without seeing this through, unless it's in a body bag, you got me?"

Vincent was slightly surprised at the former Turk's sudden show of fortitude. He had to give him credit; Porter was a determined man who wasn't going to be put off by anything. "Fine, but you know what's at stake here and if I have to, I will kill you."

"I know, and it's nothing personal." Porter forced a smile. "At least if it has to happen it will be at the hand of another former Turk, right?"

The constant and eternal bond between Turks both past and present was rearing its head. Vincent sighed and blushed slightly. "You won't make me have to come to that decision though, will you?"

"Damned right I won't." Porter's smile turned sincere. "I can do this Mr. Valentine, don't worry."

"Okay, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt." Vincent started away from Porter and back toward Tifa.

Ericson had already disappeared back into the corridor and the vault door had been shut again.

Porter started to again lead them further into the depths of the Reactor and closer to their goal. Along the path there was a rather large door in the wall with something written across it that caught Porter's eye. How he had never noticed this before struck him as odd and he stopped before it. Upon this door was written in Hojo's own scrawling lettering, "System D-D replaced, D-D2 installed".

Suddenly something made sense to Porter and he began to back away from the door knowing that something was inevitably going to come out from behind it. The others caught his actions and too began to respond by giving the door careful concern.

Vincent looked at Porter's worry stricken face and asked, "What's wrong?"

"The automated defense system, this is it…" Porter shook his head, feeling anger boil up within him against the fear that was filling him. "Dogs, he used fucking dogs!"

With that, the door began to open and from within came forth Hojo's latest innovation in cybernetic security. Three dogs somewhat resembling D came forth, but where as Porter's dog was still recognizable as a living creature, these were not. Except for parts of their brains and nervous systems these were completely mechanized. Their bodies were heavily armored and at once everyone knew that these were going to be difficult to kill.

They stood perfectly still for the first few moments as their computerized brains memorized those present, making certain that all of them were in fact intruders without consent to be here. Then in a flash they lunged.

Porter and Vincent simultaneously fired their guns at the robotic dogs but to no avail. The bullets ricocheted harmlessly off their armored bodies. As they continued to near, one lunged directly at Reno, knocking him to the ground. The robot's razor sharp teeth were aimed at his throat, but just before it was too late, Reno managed to wedge the end of his night staff into the dog's jaws. Not knowing what else to do, he hit the button that sent a lethal charge through the weapon.

The dog was thrown off him from the intensity of the shock and it hit the wall a short distance away. It's circuits had been permanently damaged from the electrocution and it twitched and writhed where it landed as wisps of smoke emanated from it's body.

A second animal came at Tifa. She diverted it with a firm kick and it hit the floor scrambling to its feet for another attack. With her leg still stinging from the hard impact on the metal animal the first time she struck out again, this time causing it to just barely miss her body.

Jaras, upon seeing Tifa in danger drew his sword. He ran over to her as the animal prepared for a third attack. He stabbed down into the animal's back with the blade, and by shear luck alone he managed to hit an exposed joint between two armored plates and the sword entered its body, severing some vital wires and circuits. The dog turned its head back and snapped at Jaras as its rear quarters became unresponsive. Unable to free his blade from its back he had to let go in order to avoid being caught in the dog's jaws. Unarmed and not knowing what to do, Jaras backed up slowly, trying to think of a way out as the injured animal continued to pull itself toward him. Finding himself cornered he put up his arms in a futile defense, at least satisfied that he had called the animal off of Tifa.

When he didn't feel the animal's razor teeth bore into him Jaras dared to look seeing that Reno had managed to get to his feet and crack this dog with his charged night staff just as he had done the first. Already being damaged the dog spasmed violently when the charge ran through him and it ended up coming to rest just at Jaras' feet. 

Jaras, still somewhat shaken reached out to pull his sword from the animal's now motionless body but found much to his surprise that the electrocution of the dog had left his sword too hot to handle.

The last of the dogs was in a fight with Vincent. His own mechanical body gave him the strength to hold the animal at bay as he had his hands wrapped firmly around its neck. The dog was standing on its rear legs and even though Vincent was holding it out at arm's length, its jaws were still lashing out at him too close for comfort. When the dog had attacked him his gun had been knocked from his hand, but it wouldn't have served him in this position anyway.

With it obvious that Reno was the only one in possession of any sort of weapon to fight these beasts Morris and Porter were hovering near Vincent not certain of what to do in order to help.

Once Reno had dispatched the other two dogs he came to Vincent's aid. The problem was at once terribly clear. If he hit the metal animal with the staff Vincent also would be electrocuted.

Reno clutched the staff nervously in his hands. "Vinny, you got to let the fucking dog go so I can kill it!"

Vincent flashed him a glare and through his bared teeth growled. "If I could let the fucking dog go I would Reno!"

Tifa knew she had to act to save Vincent. Mustering all of her strength she ran over and kicked the dog in the side of the chest as hard as she could possibly manage causing it to careen to the side and out of Vincent's grip.

Seeing his chance, Reno smashed the end of his staff into the dog's back and delivered the fatal charge. Once it's shriek and death throws stopped they were all left in complete silence, save everyone's exhausted pants.

With the action now over and the blade having cooled, Jaras finally was able to pull the sword from the second dog's body.

Reno flicked his staff off and smiled to himself. "And other god damned Turks always laughed at me for not using a gun. Just goes to show you."

Porter made his way over to the last of the fallen animals and knelt at its side. He reached out with a trembling hand and softly patted its metal head. Quickly so that no one would notice he managed to wipe a tear away from his eye. Human experimentation was one thing, but to Porter _animals_ were something else entirely. The thought that had they come here just a few months earlier that it would have been his own dog stung his heart and after a few moments he got up and walked away. 

***

Up in a secluded corner of the lab, Hojo sat before a monitor smiling to himself. Once his code had been punched into the control panel downstairs when the computer knew that he was up here he was alerted.

Now through one of the many hidden security cameras in the reactor Hojo had watched the landing team's negotiation of his guard dogs. Pleasantly surprised that Vincent and the others had arrived Hojo licked his lips and grinned wickedly. He knew that Porter would eventually lead them here, but he had never suspected that it would be so soon.

The fact that Vincent was here and walking was of the greatest interest to him. Apparently ASRIO had a better understanding of his electronic systems than he had thought but then again, they did have Quigley working for them and he had noticed over the years Porter's aptitude for repair.

Hojo finally sat back in his seat and twisted the stolen wedding ring around his finger. "I knew you would come back Mr. Valentine. You always do, don't you?" He reached over and hit a comm button. "Rude, can you please come to the accelerator room?"

The Turk that had been almost asleep after endless hours of guard duty shuttered at the sound of the madman's voice in his ear. He got up grudgingly from the chair he had been parked in outside the room's door and entered.

Hojo turned to greet his guard. "Come here, there is something that I want to show you."

Rude neared and then stooped over to look at the monitor the scientist was pointing at. There he spotted the ASRIO team, which as expected contained Reno but to his surprise Porter was there also. He managed to hide his reaction well. "What do you want me to do?"

"Take some of your men and go down there and shake things up. Kill anyone you wish but I want Mr. Valentine brought to me unharmed, do you understand?" Hojo scowled wanting the Turk to get this order clearly.

"Yes Sir." Rude said, nodding once and then heading out of the room. He touched his earpiece and spoke quickly. "Rasta, Kimo, I need you to meet me on the catwalks at once."


	132. Assignments

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXXII

Assignments

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Hojo got up from his seat in front of the monitors and made his way across the room. He came to a stop before a large blue glowing cylinder. Suspended within the clear aqua solution amongst several wires and tubes was a small mass that upon closer inspection was a fetus of approximately four months development. 

The scientist smiled to himself and tapped on the glass of the acceleration chamber with a crooked finger. "Your mother is with them. I suppose she would like to get a look at her son before she dies. I will bring her to you."

As if in some sort of response to his words, the fetus twitched slightly, exciting the madman all the more for this was the first sign of activity he had witnessed from his developing child.

He ran back to his desk and quickly scrawled down the exact time and nature of the movement, needing to keep precise records of his experiment. Once that was done, he gave the accelerator one last hasty inspection and then fled from the room determined to his hands on Vincent and Tifa again.

***

Porter led them through a series of corridors until they reached the center of the old Reactor. Before them spanned numerous catwalks and stairways that wound their way up to the higher levels. Far below the naked steel of the suspended walkways was the neon green glow of the exposed Mako well.

Porter turned to the others. "The lab is all the way up there."

Everyone craned their necks to look where he was pointing, eventually spotting the upper levels of the Reactor nearly seven stories above. With the tangle of walkways and stairs leading to various points within the structure they all knew that it would be very difficult to know if anyone was coming toward them as they went up.

Reno put his hands on his hips. "You mean we got to climb all the fucking way up there?"

"Yes." Porter replied simply. "There are four ways up to there using the catwalks. I almost wonder if it would be better for us to split up. That way if one group gets stopped the others can keep going."

Vincent became thoughtful for a moment, but somehow knew that no matter what they did it wouldn't turn out well. However he did know that the ex-Turk was right and it would increase the likely hood of at least someone getting to Hojo. "Okay, that's what we will do."

"All of the ways up there eventually meet right before the lab doors. There is a combination lock up there and in case I don't make it, I guess I should give all of you the code."

Reno and Vincent turned their attention to him. One thing that they had been taught as Turks was quick memorization and they were ready for the code.

"It's eight, two, five, three, six, eight, four, six, three." Porter recited slowly.

Vincent's face flushed in embarrassment for a moment but he hid it well from all the others except for Tifa. She looked at him perplexedly for a moment but decided not to call him on it until they were away from the others.

Porter glanced over those assembled and then looked to Vincent. "So who goes with who?"

"Well, you said there are four ways up, so if we paired off that would make enough groups to cover at least three routes." He thought for a moment. "And that will allow for one former Turk per each group."

"Good idea." Porter smiled. "So I guess it goes without saying that you will be taking Tifa with you, right?" 

Vincent looked over at his wife and grinned. "Well of course."

"Okay." As Porter turned to look at Reno, he could see that the red head had already made his way to Morris's side not wishing to get stuck with either Porter or Jaras.

Vincent also caught his son in law's action and smiled. "So I guess that will be Reno and Morris, and that leaves Jaras and Porter together."

Jaras, in an odd moment of levity spoke under his breath. "I doubt I was the last one picked back in the old days."

No one was sure whether or not they should laugh at this as he walked to his assigned partner's side.

"Okay." Porter cocked his gun. "Vincent, you guys can take that stairway to the left. Reno, you take the one about ten yards forward, and we will take the other to the right."

Everyone took note of where they were to head off. Once that was done, with a silent farewell to each other, they split up and started toward their goals.

***

Kimo and Rasta appeared at the top of the catwalks right outside the lab as ordered by Rude. Normally they wouldn't have been here, but since the President was on a 'secret trip', meaning that he was off having a tryst with his mistress behind his wife's back, they had been temporarily relieved of their duties. Knowing that Rude had been stuck up here in Reactor Six since Hojo had fled here, they had taken it upon themselves to take on a temporary job in the hidden lab. Rude was glad to have them around, but now that this situation had arisen he wasn't so sure. 

He knew that if worst came to worst, he could trust Kimo to help him be quite selective about who was and wasn't hurt but Rasta was something else entirely. If Rasta knew that he had free orders to kill than kill he would.

They met Rude and looked at him with interest. They knew that from the tone of his voice before that something important was going down.

Kimo stood finishing off the remainder of a candy bar he had smuggled up. "What's up, boss?"

Rude was wearing his sunglasses despite the darkness within the reactor and he pushed them up higher on his nose. "The lab is apparently being raided."

Rasta smirked and looked around. "By what army?"

"It's just another load of those ASRIO agents." Rude shook his head slightly, not looking forward to facing both Reno and Porter. 

"How the fuck they know about this place?" Rasta asked, a slightly puzzled look overcoming his face.

"Porter is apparently leading them." Rude had to work hard to temper his tone.

"That god damned bastard." Kimo said, almost jokingly. "So what, we have to kill him and all the others? Or does Hojo want to get his hands on the little traitor?"

Rude shook his head again. "Hojo didn't say anything except that he wants Vincent Valentine alive."

"So we get to kill everyone else?" Rasta said, venomously hungry for blood.

"No." Rude cocked and eyebrow. "I want to personally take care of Reno and as for Porter, if we can get a hold of him I would like to have a word with him before he is harmed."

Kimo immediately knew that this was an order to not harm either of the two men named and nodded in agreement. "Got it."

Rasta on the other hand narrowed his eyes. "I'll be back in just a sec, okay?"

"Okay." Rude watched with a sinking feeling in his stomach as the other Turk disappeared into the lab for a moment.

Rasta entered the code and then went through the lab doors practically running into Hojo. "Professor?"

Hojo looked up at the other man with sheer annoyance. "Yes, Turk?"

"So I hear that there's ASRIO agents in the reactor." Rasta said, attempting to seem casual.

"Yes, Turk, that is correct, now if you will excuse me." Hojo tried to push past.

Rasta extended an arm blocking the scientist's way. "What are our orders in regards to disposing of these intruders?" 

Hojo's eyes flashed in rage, disbelieving that anyone would dare take such an action with him. Then it sunk into him what was going on. "Do you doubt what your dearest Rude has instructed you to do?"

"Just want to make sure that I got it right, that's all." Rasta smiled slightly.

The madman reciprocated the grin. "Yes, I suppose you do. I do believe that my exact orders were for you Turks to eradicate the ASRIO members, but I don't want Mr. Valentine hurt whatsoever."

"I see." Rasta lowered his arm so that the scientist could go on his way. "That is all I needed to know."

"Yes." Hojo considered the man before him for a moment. "Rasta, isn't it?"

"Yeah." The Turk started to turn away.

"Please let me know if you continue to perceive any more… discrepancies in Rude's behavior." The scientist smirked.

"You got it." Rasta continued to make his way back out to the others.


	133. Run In

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXXIII

Run In

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent started up the first flight of stairs with Tifa right at his side. They climbed carefully, keeping a watchful eye out for any potential threat. The stairs and catwalks swayed with every step making them fell as though they could fall at any moment.

Once they were certainly out of earshot of everyone else, Tifa asked in a whisper, "Vince, why did you look so sick when Porter gave us the code?"

Not knowing quite how to tell her, Vincent took his time before answering. "It's kind of embarrassing."

"So tell me, now I have to know." Tifa was clinging tightly to his side, hoping that this conversation might help her nerves.

"This is stupid, but have you ever sat and just for the hell of it looked to see what numbers on the phone spell out things?" Vincent felt color return to his cheeks. The fact that as a grown man he had done this like a twelve-year old girl would have was humbling.

"You've actually done that?" Tifa smiled despite her nerves.

"Yeah, I have." He rolled his eyes, trying to get to the point. "Anyway, that code… it spells out something."

"What?" Tifa had a sneaking suspicion but needed to hear it from him.

"It spells Valentine." Vincent felt nauseated. "He has the codes spelling out my name. That's either intentional or one hell of a coincidence."

"This goes beyond obsessed." Tifa was feeling his tension. "What the hell is wrong with him?"

"Well that's the million gil question isn't it?" Vincent grinned slightly.

***

Rasta rejoined his compatriots outside the lab doors. Rude looked at him with suspicion, and when just a few short seconds later Hojo emerged from the lab as well he knew what had just transpired.

The scientist gave the assembled Turks passing regard as he walked toward one of the four stairways heading downward.

Rude, knowing that for better or worse the madman was putting himself in danger by going alone addressed him. "Sir, would you like one of us to escort you since those ASRIO agents are around?"

Hojo glanced back over his shoulder and smiled. "Yes, that would probably be for the best. Please come with me, Rude, and allow your associates to take two of the other ways down. Perhaps that will allow more of the intruders to be intercepted."

"Yes Sir." Rude started forward, knowing that he was being called to go with Hojo for a reason. He just hoped that Rasta wasn't the one to encounter Porter or Reno for that would be their death sentence.

Kimo looked after his boss as he went downward with the scientist also well aware of what was going on. He gave a displeased leer at Rasta before starting toward the second closest stairwell. 

Rasta, feeling nothing in the way of guilt also headed downward, determined to have blood. If he outted Rude as a weakness there would be an excellent opportunity for promotion for him within the ranks. Friendship was secondary to his loyalty to Shin Ra as far as he was concerned.

***

Jaras and Porter were making very slow progress compared to the other groups. It was far too often that the former Turk had to stop for short breaks on the climb as it was the absolute worst thing he had done since his injury. The pain was getting now to the point that he fully suspected that the surgical repairs done to him would completely give at any moment leaving him incapable of moving.

Jaras was disturbed by the condition of his partner and finally broke down. "Porter, I think you need to go back."

Through his agony filled eyes he growled back. "I am not turning back! I have come to far and I need to see this thing out."

Sighing, Jaras turned away and started to climb yet another flight of stairs, soon putting a long distance between he and the Turk. He would not stop again until he reached his goal, if that meant that the Turk was left far behind then so be it.

Porter struggled onward, trying in vain to keep up. Jaras was taking the stairs two at a time and showing not the slightest hint of slowing. 

Porter called out weakly. "Wait for me!"

Jaras looked over his shoulder. "I have a job to do. There can be no more delays."

It was then that Porter clearly saw that Jaras was no longer the meek person he had come to know. His long silver hair had worked its way free from its tie and was hanging about his shoulders. Jaras' green eyes burned in the darkness of the reactor and as he turned away to begin his accent toward the upper levels he swiftly unsheathed his sword. All of the images of Sephiroth that he had witnesses over the past several years paled in comparison to the man he was watching now.

***

Morris and Reno were making good progress and well past the half way mark when suddenly they noticed someone on the catwalk above them. They both instinctively froze hoping that whoever it was would turn back. Caught out on the narrow walkway there was no where for them to hide as Rasta came down the stairway before them with his gun drawn.

Reno flicked open his night staff instantly, prepared to fight. Morris who was standing before him drew his own weapon and aimed it squarely at the Turk before him.

Rasta kept his gun out before him, seemingly unfazed to see the two men before him. He smiled slyly. "You must be the famous Reno I have heard so much about."

"Fuck off." Reno snarled back. "Let us by."

"Ain't gonna happen." Rasta was far too cool about the whole situation.

Morris, hopelessly caught between these two men was extremely tense. He glanced quickly back at Reno behind him for reassurance and it proved to be a fatal mistake.

Seeing that the man between he and Reno was for the moment not focused on him, as he should be, Rasta fired off one well placed round.

The bullet hit the ASRIO agent squarely in the throat, sending out an immediate cascade of blood. Morris at once dropped his gun and clutched his neck, trying in vain to hold back the flow. Within a few seconds he fell to his knees and then to his side, dead.

Reno stood looking down at his fallen partner in helplessness and disbelief. Knowing that he was now the object of Rasta's aim, he turned and fled back down the stairs narrowly escaping a bullet as it rang off the railing beside him.

Rasta scowled as the other man evaded him, stepping over Morris' dead body to begin his pursuit.


	134. Encounters

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXXIV

Encounters

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent and Tifa continued to creep up the various stairways and catwalks within the vast reactor. They both froze where they stood when they heard the barrage of gun shots and shouts from Reno's encounter with Rasta. They had no way of knowing whether it was someone within their party that was firing or being fired upon. Frightened, Tifa soon found herself clinging to Vincent's side.

He looked down at her and smiled faintly. "It's okay, Tifa. You know our guys can take care of themselves."

There was little comfort to be found in his words. She had been out of combat for so long that her nerves were already frayed to say the least. "Vincent…" 

"I know, it's okay." He held her tightly for a moment and then became again expressionless. "We need to keep going."

Tifa just nodded silently and followed him on their continuing ascent. Her senses were now heightened to their fullest and her eyes scanned the darkness, searching for any clues as to what was happening to her comrades elsewhere in the reactor.

*** 

Jaras was now far above Porter, racing relentlessly to get to the top. Porter had given up all hope of his partner waiting for him and continued his climb as best he was able, but with each step his pain redoubled.

Kimo was continuing to make his way downwards, still terribly upset at Rasta's betrayal of his boss. He knew that if he got the chance to kill Rasta in an opportunity to preserve Rude's status within the Turks then that is what he would do.

The Turk's sharp hearing soon picked up the sound of someone coming up the stairs below him, fast. This was not the careful slinking that an invader would be using in an attempt to not be heard, rather this was someone running full bore, determined to get somewhere in a tremendous hurry.

Kimo's gun was cocked and ready as he just remained still, knowing that he would be confronting someone very soon. When he saw Jaras finally emerge at the end of the catwalk he was upon, his pulse quickened. "S… Sephiroth?"

Jaras continued to stride toward the armed man before him, seemingly unconcerned for the moment that there was a gun trained upon him. "Step aside."

With Jaras now only a few feet away from him Kimo peeled off one warning shot. "I said stop!"

"I do not have time for this, Turk." Jaras knitted his brow in terrible annoyance.

Truth be told Kimo was extremely rattled at the moment. Normally, he would have shot and killed this intruder on site, but with all that had just happened with the betrayal of his commanding officer, his world was in flux. Now, Kimo found himself faced with a ghost, and he was certain that he couldn't have killed him even if he had fired. "I can't let you go up there."

"Why, do you have some vested interest in seeing Professor Hojo not killed?" Jaras said flippantly, tightening his grip on his sword's hilt.

As much as he would like to see the madman dead, there was still some lingering need to keep his orders. "That isn't the point. Turn back."

Jaras smiled while narrowing his eyes. "If you feel the need to take someone out in order to fulfill your so called orders, then feel free to continue downwards and meet up with my partner. He is at this point useless to me."

Somehow, Kimo at once knew who the man before him was speaking of. "Porter?"

Seeing that the Turk was now completely distracted, Jaras flipped up the blade of his weapon and easily knocked the gun from Kimo's hand. This done, he just confidently strode past his former roadblock and again began to head toward his goal.

Kimo stood dumbfounded. How he had just so profoundly failed his mission was biting but at the same moment he was amazed that one, Sephiroth was still alive, and two, that he had just survived and encounter with said man. 

He grasped his badly lacerated hand and clutched it in an attempt to stem the flow of blood. After cursing his injury and the loss of his prized gun for a moment, he remembered that Porter was somewhere below him. He glanced over his shoulder one more time to make certain that Sephiroth was in fact gone, before heading down toward his old friend.

Several flights below he finally spotted Porter, stopped and resting up against a railing for support. Porter looked up with pain filled eyes at the sight of his old friend and despite the circumstances, was not afraid at all. He could instantly tell from Kimo's demeanor that he was in no danger at all.

Kimo smiled upon making eye contact with his former comrade. "Falling behind as usual, I see."

"Whose side you on?" Porter's words begged the obvious question, surely Kimo should be looking upon him as an enemy now, not as a friend.

"Shit's all getting real confusing right about now." Kimo offered a weak grin as he assessed Porter's condition. "Rasta is playing the rat and has given up Rude to Hojo I think."

Porter reholstered his gun that he had been up until now brandishing. "I never did trust him, but what is Rude waffling on that would get him in trouble?"

"Hojo's orders to kill you and your new friends, that's what." Kimo looked at Porter with disdain. "What's wrong with you? You look horrible."

"God damned hip is killing me. Hojo shot me last time I was in the Shin Ra building and it hasn't healed completely." Porter made a weak gesture at where the bullet had hit him some weeks before.

"And so what made you think you could handle climbing to the top of this reactor?" Kimo crossed his arms, more in an attempt to hide his injured hand than anything else.

"I need to see that fucker stopped, that's what." Porter looked up into the darkness of the reactor. "He messed with Rayna and that's all the reason I need."

"She's okay though, right?" Kimo asked, remembering the brunette and how fond his friend was of her.

"Yeah." Porter's eyes caught sight of the blood staining the Turk's coat sleeve. "What happened to you?"

Kimo suddenly went a little pale. "That guy that was with you, that was who I think it was wasn't it?"

Porter knitted his brows for a moment. "If you mean Sephiroth then yes."

"Yeah." Kimo nodded. "I thought so. Wasn't he supposed to be dead?"

"Supposed to be yes, but as you can see he is alive and well, although he calls himself Jaras now." Porter really wasn't in the mood for explaining all of this to Kimo.

Seeing the sudden expression that over took Porter, Kimo decided that it was time for them to make some sort of move. "We got to get you out of here."

Porter pointed upwards. "I came here to see this thing through so help me get up there."

Although he knew it was virtual suicide to take Porter back up, Kimo silently consented. Somehow, he knew it's what Rude would have done for him and therefore it should be what he would do for Porter. He put an arm around his friend and slowly they started the ascent toward the lab level.


	135. Traitor

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXXV

Traitor

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Hojo was leading Rude ever downward, saying nothing to the Turk that trailed him some distance behind. After countless stairs, the mad man came to a stop and looked back over his shoulder at his escort.

Rude, who had been lost in his own thoughts about his current situation had not noticed that which the scientist had. Once he saw that Hojo was looking at him, he came to attention realizing that there was someone coming up the stairway before them.

"Draw your weapon." Hojo ordered in a curt manner.

Rude did as he was told and was soon holding his gun tightly in his right hand.

Standing where they were, there was no way for anyone coming up the stairs to see them until it was too late. They were obscured in shadows standing side by side; Hojo anxious, and Rude dreading what was about to happen.

***

Vincent continued to make his way up the stairs but came to an abrupt stop. He smelled something horrible in the air and at once his stomach knotted.

Tifa, not quite attentive at the moment to his actions continued upward unaware of what Vincent could sense. As she crested the stairwell that they were on, she saw all too late that she was the aim of Rude's gun.

Vincent rushed up behind her once he had regained control of his nerves but too late to prevent Tifa from getting in front of him. At once he spotted Rude and Hojo ahead of them and saw that Tifa was in the Turk's sight. His own gun was clenched in his hand, but he kept it against his chest, knowing that any false move would cost Tifa her life. 

Tifa looked back over her shoulder at her husband, the terror on her face apparent. She was not so much afraid of what was going to happen to her, more she feared what was going to befall Vincent.

Hojo remained at Rude's side and gave a wide self-satisfied grin. "Ah, my dear Mr. Valentine, I knew you couldn't stay away."

The swear that burned in Vincent's throat remained trapped, his words choked off by his intense dread.

"Rude, would you be so good as to escort Mrs. Valentine back up to the lab?" Hojo hissed. "Mr. Valentine and I have some… unfinished business."

Vincent reached out and took Tifa's wrist, preventing her from going with the Turk as ordered. "No…"

Hojo's smiled faded. "I will remind you that she is under the aim of my good friend here, and if you do not let her go with Rude's escort, she will be very much dead."

Tifa, not wishing to cause any sort of repercussion of her disobedience upon Vincent wrenched herself free of his grasp and with a terrible unsteadiness started toward the Turk. She looked back over her shoulder very briefly. "I'll be okay."

As he watched Tifa get closer to Rude, Vincent felt an all too familiar sting in his eyes. If there were anyway for him to kill Hojo at that moment he would have, but knowing that Tifa would be in the line of fire he remained paralyzed.

Hojo reached below his lab coat and withdrew his own small derringer, aiming it at Vincent. "Mr. Valentine, be so good as to cast your gun to the depths."

Forced to obey under the circumstances, Vincent extended his arm and let the Death Penalty go, allowing it to fall eventually clanking to a rest on a catwalk far below.

Finally having Tifa close to him, Rude shoved his gun into the small of her back and urged her onward.

Hojo didn't take his eyes off of Vincent as he addressed Rude one more time. "Take her to the lab. Mr. Valentine and I shall be there shortly."

"Come on." Rude said, continuing to push Tifa forward.

Her face was red with her terror over the situation and she was sure that at any moment she would collapse. They climbed up a few more flights of stairs and she decided that she had to do something. Once they got to the next landing she planned on spinning in an attempt to kick the gun from Rude's hand.

The Turk saw the change in her posture and knew what she was planning. "Don't bother."

Tifa dared to stop and look back at him. "What?"

"Don't bother." Rude sighed while reholstering his gun.

She was unable to believe what she was seeing. _What the Hell is he doing?_

Rude was slightly amused at her tangible confusion. "You need to get up to the lab. Whatever you can do up there to stop his little project you are welcome to try."

"What are you doing?" Tifa's face continued to betray her muddlement.

"Letting you do what you came to do." Rude crossed his arms. "Hojo's got me marked, I'm a dead man so I might as well let you do this. No one, not even an old Turk like me wants to see that son of a bitch try to get away with another Sephiroth."

Tifa took a step toward him. "Fuck that right now, I need to get back down there and help Vincent!"

Rude blocked her way. "Vincent is going to have to take care of himself. It's up to you to take care of everything else. Get up there and do what you need to or I might quit feeling so generous. I've got other things to attend to right now, that is, if you don't want to see all of your friends her with you on this trip die."

Tifa, after one more moment of hesitation knew that the Turk was right. Without any more thought given to it, she started to bolt upwards towards the lab.


	136. Plummet

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXXVI

Plummet

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Seeing that Tifa was in fact heading up to the lab as ordered, Rude focused his attention on finding out where the gunshots that had rang out earlier had emanated from. His worst fear was that Rasta had found Porter and had killed him. All of the catwalks and stairways within the reactor were linked with a crisscrossed maze of scaffolds and he did his best to start making his way to where he thought the last shot had come from.

***

Reno continued to flee from Rasta as best he could. His legs were burning from the unfamiliar exertion of repeatedly scaling and descending stairs. Rasta was relentless in his pursuit, his cat like stealth allowing him to follow his prey fluidly through the metal jungle.

After some time, Reno found himself at the end of a long since broken bridge. He looked around in desperation for some means of escape, knowing that it wouldn't be long before Rasta was in position to let off yet another round. Through the sick green glow of the Mako far below, Reno made out the silhouette of another catwalk some distance under him.

Rasta smiled to himself as he spotted Reno in his current situation. His quarry was cornered and he raised his gun to fire. Surely killing this traitorous ex-Turk would earn him a huge promotion and he hoped that the body wouldn't fall down into the depths of the well.

Hearing the gun cocked behind him, Reno found himself faced with no other option but to jump. As he stepped out into open space, he heard the report of Rasta's gun firing and it wasn't until he hit the unforgiving steel of the catwalk that broke his fall that he felt the piercing sting in his left shoulder. He knew he had no time to examine his wound at the moment as undoubtedly Rasta would soon appear to finish him off and so he struggled to his feet and again began to run.

Rasta frowned and cursed to himself, sorely disappointed that Reno had escaped. He made his way to the end of the bridge and looked down, seeing that Reno was already running into the shadows. The Turk shook his head in dismay. Jumping in pursuit of Reno would be the best option but since he didn't have a lot of faith in the structural integrity of the aging catwalks he decided to try and head Reno off by going another way.

***

Time seemed to stop as Tifa continued to run upwards. One stairwell melted into another as she went, making the climb seem like some cruel never-ending trap. Finally she crested the last of the stairs and found herself at the top of the reactor. There was another keypad lock on the door and she entered what Vincent had revealed to her. A corridor opened up before her leading to Hojo's projects within.

The hair on the back of her neck stood on end when she heard someone coming up another flight. She assumed a defensive pose and readied herself for whatever threat was about to emerge.

Jaras came into her line of sight and gave little acknowledgement to her presence there. His pace did not slow until he was standing on the uppermost platform with her. "Where are the others?"

Tifa examined him for a moment, seeing that there was something very much different about him at the moment. "Hojo has Vincent… Please help him!"

"Then what are you doing up here alone?" Jaras was unnerved that she would leave his father for any reason.

"A Turk was taking me away and he let me go, telling me that I needed to get up here to finish what we came for." Having fought Hojo before, Tifa knew that she alone was no match for him. Jaras however was another story. He was clearly more Sephiroth now than he ever had been and maybe he would have what it would take to kill the madman. "Do you think that you can help Vincent?"

Jaras narrowed his eyes. If Tifa was able to get into the lab and destroy the experiment then that would leave him free to go after the scientist which was his main goal. "Destroy the lab, I will go take care of everything else."

"Thank you." Tifa clasped her hands together.

Jaras seemed slightly annoyed at her momentary display and turned to leave. "Go do it."

She was a little stunned by his coldness to her, but knew that time was of the essence and decided not to dwell on. Tifa started down the corridor not exactly certain of where she was supposed to go or what she was supposed to do. Finally she saw an eerie blue light coming from a door slightly left open and entered.

***

Hojo stared at Vincent in silence, the ever-present sneer upon his lips. Vincent was doing his best to suppress his trembling but knew that the madman could still see.

"My dear Mr. Valentine, why do you look so afraid?" Hojo took one step closer. "I am not going to hurt you, not yet anyway. Think about it, what can I do with this little gun when your entire body is now metal?"

Hojo's words struck a chord and Vincent realized that he had been so terrified of the scientist that he hadn't thought of this obvious fact. Unless Hojo were to actually hit him in the head with a bullet there was nothing for him to fear; and Vincent knew that the scientist's aim wasn't that good. He started to think of what he should do.

The fact that Vincent didn't instantly lunge at him gave Hojo a false sense of security and he allowed his thoughts to wander. "I do have to say, Mr. Valentine, that I am impressed that your little friends were able to get your body up and running again. I suppose that it has something to do with that Quigley fellow but I guess that is no matter now."

Not knowing what was becoming of Tifa at the moment, Vincent still feared for her safety and he glanced up briefly into the darkness wondering where she was.

"Do not worry about her, she is in good hands at the moment." Hojo licked his lips. "I think she deserves to see her child before she dies, don't you?"

Vincent managed to speak despite the dryness of his throat. "Child?"

"Yes, the Neo-Jenova project is well underway." Hojo smiled. "You will see soon enough for yourself. But first we have some things to discuss."

Vincent noticed the gleam of his own wedding ring as it flashed upon Hojo's hand, sending a wave of rage through him.

"Why do you keep running away from me, Mr. Valentine?" Hojo cocked his head to the side. "After all I have done for you and all we have been through together, I should hope that you would be more grateful."

"Grateful for what?" Vincent hissed, his anger trying to get the better of him. "Destroying my body? Harming those I care for?"

"Ah now, you know as well as I do that I have _improved_ you and as for those you care for, you know that they do not mean as much to you as _I _do." The way Hojo said this sent a chill down Vincent's spine.

"The only thing I feel for you is an overwhelming desire to kill you as slowly and painfully as possible." Vincent regretted for a rare moment the loss of the monstrous demon within him.

"Watch your words." Hojo warned. "You forget that I am your master. If you want my love then you will be respectful."

Such a statement was more than Vincent could bear. Throwing all caution aside he charged the madman.

Hojo was so shocked by Vincent's sudden movement that he dropped his tiny gun as he raised his hands in a defensive measure. Vincent hit the scientist with his full force knocking him to the ground. A startled screech escaped Hojo as he hit the catwalk, his glasses flying off and down into the well of the reactor.

Vincent wrapped both of his hands around Hojo's neck and strangled him for all he was worth. "I am going to tear your head off!"

A redness crept into Hojo's face as he found it hard to breathe but he smiled at Vincent nonetheless. "Give up, Mr. Valentine, you can't hurt me."

There was an audible creak from Vincent's synthetic hands as they were strained to their maximum in an attempt to kill Hojo. How the scientist could be _smiling_ at him at the moment was beyond him.

Hojo almost laughed to himself, deciding that this little game needed to end. He grabbed hold of Vincent's wrists and summoning up the strength that the Jenova within him provided; Hojo easily tore the hands away from his throat.

Vincent looked down with amazement as Hojo held him back as though it was nothing. Desperately he tried to wrench his hands free of the scientist's grasp but couldn't manage.

"I'm tired of playing." Hojo said as he pushed Vincent off of him.

Vincent found himself flung backwards, hitting the railing of the catwalk with such force that the whole thing swayed and threatened to give. His world spun for a second as his head smacked against steel. In an attempt to regain his footing, Vincent rose, only to stumble back and fall from his continued disorientation.

Hojo got up and crossed his arms over his chest. "Now, is it all out of your system?"

"Fuck you!" Vincent spat back, some blood trickling from his lips as he had bit his tongue in the fall. Finally able to regain his balance he got up, relying heavily on the railing for support.

"Mr. Valentine, you most certainly are testing my patience today." Hojo started toward him at a leisurely pace.

Gathering himself, Vincent charged again pushing Hojo violently against the railing on the other side of the catwalk. Again the whole structure wavered under the stress of the two grappling men and the railing behind Hojo couldn't hold out anymore.

Vincent had little chance to react and with his left hand he grasped some of the remaining rail. Hojo managed to get a hold of the left strap of the pack Vincent had on putting such a strain on Vincent that he thought he was about to be pulled over the edge, casting them both into the Mako well below. With his right hand, Vincent gripped into the grated flooring of the catwalk.

Hojo hung there from him, smiling up seemingly unconcerned at the moment at the current situation. "Get me up from here Mr. Valentine. I will not let go so if I fall so will you."

Vincent was at a loss for what to do. There was no way that he was going to allow Hojo back onto the catwalk, no matter what the cost. "No…"

Hojo changed his position, bringing his left hand up to also hold onto Vincent's pack strap. "Today if you don't mind, Mr. Valentine."

"If I have to die in order to kill you, then so be it." Vincent glared down at Hojo.

Suddenly the gravity of the situation sunk in as Hojo realized that Vincent was going to let go of the railing. "How can you? I love you! You can't do this!"

Vincent closed his eyes and sighed. "Yes, I can and I will."

Slowly he began to allow his hands to loosen from their holds and started to feel the weight of the man hanging from him pull him forward. Although before now he didn't think much of the prospect of dying, realizing that he would never see Tifa again stung Vincent's heart. Knowing that he had to do this before he backed out, Vincent let go.


	137. Demon Savior

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXXVII

Demon Savior

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Hojo's eyes were wide with horror. The thought that Vincent was actually willing to fling himself into the Mako well seemed unreal. "Mr. Valentine! What are you doing? How can you do this?"

"Fuck you." Vincent's hands slipped free of their metal holds and he kept his eyes tightly closed. He knew he was doing the right thing, even at the cost of his own life. The irony that he had spent the last several years not caring whether he lived or died, only to end up finding happiness and then having to sacrifice himself did not go unnoticed. 

Instead of falling freely forward as he expected, Vincent felt a sudden jerk halting his movement. He opened his eyes, wondering what invisible force had stopped his plummet and saw Jaras standing behind him, having a firm grasp with his left hand upon his pack.

Jaras' face was completely devoid of any emotion as he raised his sword with his free hand. He pulled Vincent back further, at the same time slashing his blade downward in front of his father.

Hojo screamed in agony as both of his arms were severed from his body at the elbow. He fell away down into the glowing reactor, eventually being swallowed up by the Mako below. 

Vincent watched his long time rival disappear into the depths, then coming to notice that the man's disembodied left hand was still tangled within his pack strap. Vincent narrowed his eyes and pulled the dead arm off of him, reclaiming his wedding ring from it before tossing the appendage after its master.

Jaras just stood there watching as his father slipped the gold band back onto in own artificial finger. He resheathed his weapon and turned away, starting back upward.

Vincent looked on in a moment of shock. Jaras was already some distance away when he was finally able to speak. "Jaras?"

"What?" He didn't even turn to look at Vincent.

"I owe you my life." Vincent started toward him, letting his pack fall to the floor off his aching shoulders.

"I still bear a great debt." Jaras began climbing the stairs again. "Our work is not done."

Just as the others had seen, Vincent noticed that Jaras was completely different. Part of him was deeply hurt to see this, but he also knew in a way that it was the inevitable conclusion. After all, with the return of his memories there was bound to be a change.

***

Tifa found herself standing before a large glowing blue cylinder. Suspended within the liquid environment amid a tangle of wires and tubes she saw the fetus. She reached out and touched the glass, overwhelmed with emotion. Hojo or not, this was her child in this terrible and fragile state. Clearly it was still too undeveloped to survive on its own and she was overcome with a feeling of helplessness.

Vincent and Jaras entered the room after she had been standing there for a long time. Upon seeing her husband alive and well she ran to him and placed her arms around his waist.

"Oh God, I thought I'd never see you again!" Tifa fought back the tears as she nuzzled into him.

"Me too." Vincent sighed, while stroking her hair. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah." Tifa relaxed a little within his embrace. "Rude let me go, telling me to get up her and stop the Project."

Vincent was a little taken back by this. "What? Rude is a traitor?"

"It's looking like it, yeah." She replied.

Vincent's eyes scanned the room as he continued to comfort her, soon coming to examine the growth accelerator standing before them. His attention to this was cut short however as someone else entered the room.

Kimo came in, with Porter hanging heavily from his side. Vincent and Tifa were leery at first, until they realized that the Turk that had escorted Porter here was clearly no threat. 

"Looks like all of us Turks are." Porter finished, having heard Vincent's last comment. Porter was relieved to see the three others alive and well. He let go of Kimo and held something out to Vincent. "Damnedest thing, we were on our way up and this fucking thing fell out of nowhere, just about hitting me in the head."

Vincent's eyes went wide as he took back possession of his Death Penalty; it's familiar weight feeling quite at home in his hand. In one fluid motion he lifted it and aimed it at the glass cylinder, intending to put an end to Hojo's final attempt to create the perfect being.

Tifa at once grew horrified to see that Vincent was going to kill the child growing within the chamber. She grabbed his arm and attempted to pull it downward but his mechanical body afforded him the strength to hold steady. "Please, Vincent, don't! Don't kill it!"

He didn't dare to make eye contact with her at that moment; for fear that he would lose his resolve. "I can't allow this Project to go on."

She pounded his chest with her fists, tears streaming down her face. "It's my baby! You can't! I swear to God, if you do this, you'll never see me again!"

Vincent's heart was stung, as he knew this wasn't an idle threat. For a few more moments he kept the gun trained on his intended target but when he faltered and glanced down at her tear streaked face, he lowered his weapon. There was no way that he could do something to hurt her like this.

"Thank you." Tifa again threw her arms around him.

Then it happened. There was a terribly loud crescendo of shattering glass and scraping metal. Tifa spun within Vincent's arms to see what she most feared. Behind where the chamber had stood was Jaras. His sword hung in his right hand, the blue fluid from the once present glass chamber still dripping from the blade. Amongst the shards of glass and wires, lay the remains of the fetus severed cleanly in two.

Tifa dropped to her knees, paying no heed to the slippery fluid and broken glass beneath her. She clasped her hands to her mouth and watched as the bisected fetus twitched a few times before dying. 

Everyone was dumbstruck at the change of events, and all eyes turned to Jaras.

Tifa looked up at the silver haired man and glared. "Jaras, how could you?!"

He slowly resheathed his weapon and narrowed his eyes at her. "After the life I have lived, I wish someone had done me the same favor."

"I hate you!" Tifa screamed while everyone remained frozen in place. "I hate you, Jaras!"

Without any sign of emotion whatsoever, Jaras strode past her through the remains of the accelerator and toward the door. "You do not hate Jaras, Tifa. You hate me, Sephiroth."

Silence fell over the group as they watched Vincent's son stride swiftly through the room. Sephiroth or not, his heart was broken at what he had done, and more so for causing Tifa to detest him. It was no matter for him though; the world was safe from further threat at the hands of Hojo and his creations. He knew now that Sephiroth could be put to peace finally.

Vincent eventually came to Tifa's side as she continued to sit where the fetus lay destroyed. He again placed his arms around her and she burrowed into his chest to cry bitterly. The pain of losing another child, even if it had not been created with the man she loved was ripping her apart.

***

Hojo struggled to stay afloat in the Mako as long as he could. The Lifestream was penetrating his body, killing all of the Jenova that he had injected himself with over the years. With all of his superhuman abilities ripped away by the Mako he was unable to hold out any longer and he sank beneath the surface. He quickly bled to death from his wounds and his life force was stripped from his body becoming part of the Lifestream.

In life, Hojo had disbelieved in a heaven or hell thinking that all life just merged into the Lifestream to be recycled, but for another rare instance he had been wrong. It was true that he became part of the Lifestream that flowed within the Planet, but there are things that he wasn't aware of.

There are two layers to the Lifestream. The uppermost consists of that energy which gives life to the living, breathing part of the planet. The other is kept at the center of the Planet and makes up the hot molten core. This is where the Lifestream holds that energy which it never again will allow to become part of the living world.

The energy of all those that Hojo had tortured and killed over the years enveloped him, eventually pulling him down to the deepest bowels of the Planet. Although without a body now, he could still plainly feel the molten rock and metal that was the sea in which he swam. Locked away here in this hell Hojo's spirit would never again be allowed to threaten the Planet or its inhabitants.

***

Rude continued to hear shots being fired and feared what he would find when he located their source. He struggled to keep up with the gunfight, as it was obvious that the players were moving quickly through the maze of catwalks.

Reno was running out of energy. His lungs burned beyond belief from all the running and the blood that had now soaked the majority of his shirt let him know that the wound he had sustained in his shoulder earlier was no small scratch. Resolving that he couldn't run any further, he crouched in the corner of a small platform and awaited his fate.

Rasta came down the flight of stairs that lead to where Reno was holding out. He aimed at his quarry one last time and smiled. "So, the great Reno is giving up?"

Reno scowled, wishing that the cocky Turk would just end this. "Yeah, the one and only."

"Well this is going to look very good on my record." Rasta was very self-satisfied at the moment. "Very good indeed."

"Oh just fucking do it, okay?" Reno, even with faced with death was impatient.

Rasta pulled back the hammer on his gun and carefully centered his aim for the middle of Reno's head. "Nice to meet you."

Rude finally managed to catch up to the action and shouted. "Rasta, hold your fire!"

Rasta flashed a quick glance at his boss standing on the opposite end of the platform. "Ah, the traitor."

"I have always known that you didn't understand the most important aspect of being a Turk." Rude said while shaking his head slightly.

Rasta cast him another sidelong glance while still maintaining his aim. "And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you do not understand where your loyalties need to be." Rude took a step forward while placing his hand on the gun hanging beneath his coat.

"I am a Turk, my loyalties are to Shin Ra." Rasta said, catching Rude's movement out of the corner of his eye. At once he spun and turned his aim onto his former boss.

"Yes, your loyalties are to Shin Ra, second only to your fellow Turks." Rude said, satisfied that Reno was no longer in Rasta's sights.

"Yeah, nice try old man." Rasta wanted desperately to fire, but something deep inside wouldn't let him kill his long time friend, at least, not yet.

Rude allowed his hand to fall away from his weapon. "Turks look out for one another, both past and present. There is no one else in this world we can rely upon."

Reno remained in place, watching the drama unfolding before him. As he nervously tightened his hands around his Night Staff he remembered something. Just above his boot under his pant leg, he had strapped a small gun for back up. In all of the running and madness he had somehow forgotten this one tiny detail.

"I think this is just one last ditch attempt to try and get me to be a traitor like you and the others and that ain't going to happen." Rasta said, finally building up the nerve to do what he needed to do.

A shot rang out and Rude was stunned not to feel the pain of a bullet ripping through him. Confusion set in as he saw Rasta fall to his side, writhing in pain.

Reno remained in place, still holding his gun as he had when he fired. It had been so rare that he had used this weapon that he was still in a little shock at what he had done. Slowly he got up and made his way to Rasta, Rude also soon coming to his side.

Rude looked down at his former partner in dismay. "I told you, we have to look out for each other, no one else will."

Rasta looked up, obviously in tremendous pain. As he lay dying, he realized his mistake but it was too late for him now. He had been shot through the chest and it only took a few more seconds before he bled out internally.

"Damn shame." Rude sighed, turning his gaze to Reno. "He was a good friend before all this."

Reno reached out and clapped Rude on the back a few times. "Hey man, thanks."

"Think nothing about it." He replied, giving one last glance at the dead man lying before them. "We did what we had to do. I just wish I'd known seven years ago what I know now. I'm really sorry about Elena."

Reno felt his heart wrenched at the mention of her name. "There's nothing that can be done about that now. If you're interested, I'm pretty sure I can get you a job."

Rude grinned at the offer but shook his head. "I'm a Turk, Reno. At least, as far as Shin Ra is concerned. With Hojo dead and this reactor abandoned, no one within the company will really have any idea what happened in here today."

"What are you saying?" Reno asked.

"I'm saying that I hold a really good position within the Turks, and your little group of rebels could really use someone as close to the President as me. Nothing goes on that I don't know about." Rude crossed his arms over his chest.

Reno was a little stunned to hear this. "Are you sure you want to do that? I mean, it's gonna be real dangerous."

"Yeah well, I'm getting old and could use a little excitement in my life." Rude turned from the scene and started up the stairs. "Let's go see what the others are up to."

PS- this is not the end, just a chapter that isn't ending in a cliffhanger. I think I've done that enough to you loyal readers lately. 


	138. Onward

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXXVIII

Onward

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

How long exactly it was that Vincent knelt there cradling his emotionally shattered wife in his arms was unknown. He felt the eyes of those gathered in the room glancing at the two of them there during their hushed conversations. What they were talking about he did care, they were not his main concern at the moment. The only thing that mattered to him now was whether or not Tifa was going to be okay.

Eventually, Reno and Rude made their way to the lab. Kimo and Porter were both very happy and relieved to see Rude, and Reno was grateful to find his friends present and accounted for.

Some more time passed before Porter asked the burning and obvious question. "Where's Morris?"

Reno dropped his gaze to the floor and kicked at a stray piece of glass. "He didn't make it."

Tifa lifted her head from Vincent's chest at the news. No longer able to cry, she simply whispered, "Oh, poor Morris…"

Needing to move the subject along, Reno became thoughtful. "Speaking of MIA's, where's Jaras?"

Vincent sighed deeply as he and Tifa finally managed to their feet. "He left."

"And what all has happened here?" Reno asked, motioning around the room.

"There was a growth accelerator in here, containing Hojo's last attempt at the Neo-Jenova Project but Jaras destroyed it." Vincent shook his head slightly, knowing that his son had simply done what had to be finished.

"Okay." Reno accepted this answer, having only one other question. "Where's Hojo?"

All present turned their attention to Vincent at this point, as he was the only one that knew. "He's dead. I was struggling with him and just when I was about to fall off the catwalk with Hojo hanging from me, Jaras showed up and managed to pull me to safety while Hojo fell down into the well."

Vincent's simplified explanation seemed to appease everyone. Truth be told no one had the energy left to question for more details.

Tifa had gathered herself somewhat and she looked to her husband. "Shouldn't we go?"

He nodded in response. "Yes, we should."

Rude cleared his throat. "The quickest way out is up the last flight of stairs at the end of the corridor. That will lead you to a helicopter landing pad, since I can only assume that's how you all managed to get onto the Plate in the first place."

"And what about you and Kimo?" Porter asked, limping severely to his former boss's side.

"I plan on keeping my job and maybe doing a little spying for you guys." Rude gave an uncharacteristically large smile. "Hopefully, Kimo will do the same."

"Whatever you want." Kimo replied.

Vincent went over and extended a hand to Rude. "I can't thank you enough. I may not know all that went on today, but I'm sure this would have turned out a lot differently if you hadn't done what you did."

Rude nodded. "No problem, thanks. Like I said to someone else today, us Turks have to look out for each other, past and present."

Little more was said as the remaining ASRIO agents headed out to the landing pad. Jaras was no where to be found and Vincent knew that even if he went to search for him at this point it would be fruitless. If Jaras was anything like his father then when he wanted to be alone, no one could find him.

Once outside, Vincent took a headset from Porter and put it on, his own having been lost in the fight with Hojo. "Tseng?"

After a few moments, the radio cracked to life. "Tsuvati?"

Vincent smiled widely at the sound of his true name. "Mind getting us out of here? It stinks."

Tseng's relief at hearing his brother's voice was transmitted through the radio. "We're on our way. What's the status of the mission?"

"Mission was a success." Vincent lowered his voice slightly. "We lost Morris."

Tseng was silent for a moment. "Morris… God damn it. Everyone else is all right?"

At that moment, Vincent was startled by the sound of the door out of the lab being thrown open. He spun and along with the others was surprised to find Jaras standing there.

"Everyone else is fine." Vincent finally responded, relieved that his son had returned.

"Okay, we will be there shortly. Tseng out."

Vincent pulled the headset off and handed it back to Porter before striding over to his son. "Are you okay?"

Jaras had lost the cold and vacant look that had been in his eyes earlier. In its place was an expression of overwhelming exhaustion and sadness. He dropped his gaze to the side and sighed. "I don't know…"

"Jaras, look at me." Vincent ordered.

He did as his father demanded after a few moments of hesitation.

"You did what you had to do and no one will hold that against you." Vincent reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Tifa… she hates me now." Tears brimmed within his eyes. "Everything I did in there, it was like I had no control over any of it. Like something was driving me… Once I got a little ways away from that room where the rest of you were, whatever it was left me."

"Tifa doesn't hate you, Jaras." His tone was firm but sympathetic. "She hates what had to happen but not you. That Project had to be ended and if you hadn't done it someone else would have."

"You couldn't do it." Jaras found it impossible to hold back the tears any longer.

Vincent was silent for a moment, as Jaras had him on this one. "It doesn't matter anymore; it's over."

"I hope so." Jaras reached down and untied his sword from his belt. He then held it out with a shaking hand to his father. "I don't want this anymore."

Vincent accepted the weapon. "Understood. I'll have it taken care of."

"Thanks." Jaras took a step back. "I think Tifa needs you right now."

"Okay." Vincent turned from his son and made his way back to Tifa's side. He found her still trembling with emotion. "Tifa, are you going to be okay?"

She put her arms around his middle and looked toward the slowly brightening horizon. "I'm just going to have to accept what has been dealt to me."

What exactly that meant Vincent wasn't sure he wanted to know. Maybe it was her belief that she wasn't meant to be a mother or perhaps something else. Whatever it was, Vincent could clearly see the pain within her and hoped that somehow she would recover from this as she had all the other tremendous blows she had been dealt in her life. 

The morning sun finally broke silhouetting the helicopter as it came into view. Vincent continued to hold Tifa tightly as they awaited their ride home. The others present all stood in silence with their thoughts. Reno was unusually quite, reliving the moment of Morris' death. With someone dying in his presence during two of the last three missions he was seriously questioning what he could have done differently. There was also a serious lessening in his self-confidence and arrogance. He would have to give considerable thought to what he planned on doing within the organization from now on. Maybe fieldwork wasn't his specialty anymore.

The helicopter landed and the door slid open. Angel flew out and ran straight to her husband, throwing herself into his arms in relief over his safe return. Reno's deep mirement of thought melted away as he swept her up in his arms, his mouth eagerly meeting hers.

Vincent led Tifa to the chopper where they met Tseng. He extended a hand and helped Tifa step up. He could see the strain on her face and he led her to a seat and sat next to her, Vincent coming to rest on her other side.

Tseng took one of her hands into his own and spoke softly to her. "Tifa, what's wrong?"

"He had started the Project as suspected." Tifa used her other hand to push a few strands of hair behind her ear. "I just didn't think that it would be so hard…"

Seeing that she was no longer in a state to talk he turned to his brother. "What happened?"

"The growth accelerator had a fetus growing inside it." Vincent placed his arm around Tifa's shoulders. "I was going to destroy it but I ended up not doing so. Then Jaras did."

"I see." Tseng pointed to the sword in Vincent's free hand. "Why do you have that?"

"He said he doesn't want it anymore." Vincent looked down at the weapon in his hand for a moment. "Truth be told I don't think he would ever be able to use it again anyway. This might sound a little crazy but I think by the success of this mission somehow Sephiroth's demons have been excised."

Reno and Angel boarded the helicopter and fell into a heap on the seats opposite Vincent and the others. They were far too preoccupied with one another to pay any heed to those around them. Shortly thereafter, Jaras helped Porter onboard and they also took up their seats. Jaras removed his pack and set it on the floor before him. He opened it and fished around its contents for a moment before coming up with a band to tie his hair back. Once that was done, he preformed another brief search until he came up with his glasses and book.

With everyone onboard, Brad fired the helicopter's engines back up and lifted the machine back into the sky. Vincent gave one more glance out the window at Midgar as they flew away, somehow knowing that it would be the last time he ever saw the top of the Plate.

Tifa came to rest her head on Vincent's shoulder. "I can't believe it's over."

Vincent pulled her closer and rested his cheek against her hair. "It is. Hojo's gone, this time forever. Now we can get on with our lives."

Another wave of sadness washed over her and her voice trembled. "I hope so."

Vincent knew that over the drone of the chopper no one could her what they were saying to one another. "Tifa, I know you want a child. I also know that is something that I cannot give you. If you need to find someone else who can make your dreams come true I will completely understand."

"No, Vincent." She moved so she could look him in the eye. "If I wasn't meant to be a mother, then so be it. I'm not going to give you up when you are the only thing in this world that does make me happy."

He smiled faintly at her words but knew that her heart still ached for a child. Vincent did have a question for her still. "Jaras… I know it really hurt you what he did back there, but he has a perspective on this whole situation that none of us could really appreciate. This isn't really any of my business, or maybe it is, but if you could forgive him I think it would help him a lot."

Tifa tilted her head to the side. "Oh Vincent, I don't hate him, if that's what you're asking. As hurt as I am, I know that what he did… I know it had to be done. It's not like we could have taken it with us at the developmental stage it was at. It would have died either way."

"We both know that Jaras cares for you an awful lot, as much as I hate to say it, he is still in love with you." Vincent brushed her cheek with his hand. "He wouldn't do anything that you protested unless he saw it absolutely vital."

"I know." Tifa closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder once more. "I'll talk to him when we get home but right now all I want to do is sleep."


	139. Hello Loyal Readers!

Hello loyal readers! The rest of this story is being put up under Guilt's Cost Continuation due to some problems I'm having with adding to this now lengthy original piece. So to get to the new chapters, go to my profile page and you will find the continuing chapters of the story. 


	140. Guilt's Cost Continues

Please see "Guilt's Cost Continued"


End file.
